I think the nature of this disorder makes asking for help the hardest step. I don't even know how to begin to tell someone that I need help. I just want to do what I always do: Lay low and not draw attention to myself.
I waited until 30 to get help, and I regret it. But to be fair, I didn't get it because I didn't know there was a problem. Even though I always knew I was different, I put the blame entirely on myself for being like this. Everyone around told me I was lazy and had no willpower, I was a wild child (meaning that I feared people like a wild animal), I was bad, and that's what I believed. In my heart I knew it wasn't true, but everyone believed that, and I thought that maybe I'm the one who's crazy and they're right. So after dropping three unis for reasons I couldn't explain even to myself (because I had excellent marks) I spent around 10 years locked up in my room at home, being depressed, but noone around believed I was depressed, either. They thought that it isn't possible for one's feelings to be beyond control and to hurt one. So I lived thinking I was merely a deficient human being, without friends or work or family, ashamed of myself for suffering for no reason, ashamed of having no willpower, and contemplating death. At 30 y.o. I asked to find me a paid psychologist, because parents shamed me too much of being jobless and I knew I couldn't for the life of me work in my state (I felt bad all the time, painful emotions), so I thought maybe a psychologist would have a solution to my problems. After talking to me the psychologist said that his area of expertise is depression and neurosis, and my thinking is "too much beyond the norm" and that I need someone else who deals with a different area of expertise. He suspected a personality disorder or something more serious, and told me where to go to get help. And that's where I finally got it, in the governmentally financed institution where they gave me meds and assigned a psychotherapist and eventually diagnosed me with AVpD. I do implore anyone who knows something is wrong not to accuse their own selves for being "wrong" but instead to seek help. The younger you are when you get help, the more chances you have at life. It might be a good idea to leave home, too, if you're at home and you have AVpD. I can't do that, but if you still can work, then rent a place and leave by all means. I think it's a pretty good shot to say that AVpD people have indifferent parents, whose indifference made a huge contribution to the disease. You need to leave and make these indifferent people insignificant to your life in order to start believing that people who aren't indifferent to your person and needs actually exist in this world. Cut most ties with parents, if possible, talk to them as little as possible, instead meet people who're capable of caring and believe in them.
That's rough. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at 27 (this form used to be called Asperger's Syndrome). I always had trouble socializing with people, partly because I'm an introvert, partly because of fear. Now I know this fear is in large part due to my autism, which makes it hard to connect with people (among other issues). I'm 31 now and it's still difficult, even with therapy. I do believe there is hope, however. Hopefully you can see it too. Even though this comment is already 2 years old, I hope you're doing better.
>>and then slowly exposing ourselves to the environment and the ppl around us ..will make us think that hey look that I wsa wrong all along ..and that small moment is incredibly powerful ..because that again by itself makes the person do somehting more and more ...UNtil we come to a point where we can actually confide in our ability to express and commute ..This is truly how I grew out of this ..its really really not that hard. Hope this helps some one out there ..or the guy in this video ..:)
It took me till age 40 to find out about AvPD and as you say and I knew there was something wrong but not understand exactly what. I was so glad to know about it because I can now work on filling in the gaps this disease has left in my life. I hope you can too. It definitely helps to know what you have wrong with you and that is EXACTLY how I felt. It wasn't a release. but I know what my prison is made of now.
This disorder is possible the easiest...curable disorder in the dsm hndbook..Why do i think like this ..because I had this disorder with ever symptom that comes with it...And I think its one of those disorders that gets cured when facing head on ..U cant make narc see himself and expect to cure his cond. But here its peculiar ..because just realizing thats its a iirational fear and belief that we hold on to .. >>
I also have this disorder and it has really ruined my life up to this point. Its one of those things, that is hard to explain to someone else, i think. I have made progress though, but its still a long way to go for me. I wanted to suggest something i have been doing, that has helped me to think differently. I use The Lifelong Success Program by Igor A. Ledochowski. If you cant buy it just download it from Torrent.to or something, because its worth a shot. I see a lot of myself in you.
I think the nature of this disorder makes asking for help the hardest step. I don't even know how to begin to tell someone that I need help. I just want to do what I always do: Lay low and not draw attention to myself.
I waited until 30 to get help, and I regret it. But to be fair, I didn't get it because I didn't know there was a problem. Even though I always knew I was different, I put the blame entirely on myself for being like this. Everyone around told me I was lazy and had no willpower, I was a wild child (meaning that I feared people like a wild animal), I was bad, and that's what I believed. In my heart I knew it wasn't true, but everyone believed that, and I thought that maybe I'm the one who's crazy and they're right. So after dropping three unis for reasons I couldn't explain even to myself (because I had excellent marks) I spent around 10 years locked up in my room at home, being depressed, but noone around believed I was depressed, either. They thought that it isn't possible for one's feelings to be beyond control and to hurt one. So I lived thinking I was merely a deficient human being, without friends or work or family, ashamed of myself for suffering for no reason, ashamed of having no willpower, and contemplating death.
At 30 y.o. I asked to find me a paid psychologist, because parents shamed me too much of being jobless and I knew I couldn't for the life of me work in my state (I felt bad all the time, painful emotions), so I thought maybe a psychologist would have a solution to my problems. After talking to me the psychologist said that his area of expertise is depression and neurosis, and my thinking is "too much beyond the norm" and that I need someone else who deals with a different area of expertise. He suspected a personality disorder or something more serious, and told me where to go to get help. And that's where I finally got it, in the governmentally financed institution where they gave me meds and assigned a psychotherapist and eventually diagnosed me with AVpD.
I do implore anyone who knows something is wrong not to accuse their own selves for being "wrong" but instead to seek help. The younger you are when you get help, the more chances you have at life.
It might be a good idea to leave home, too, if you're at home and you have AVpD. I can't do that, but if you still can work, then rent a place and leave by all means. I think it's a pretty good shot to say that AVpD people have indifferent parents, whose indifference made a huge contribution to the disease. You need to leave and make these indifferent people insignificant to your life in order to start believing that people who aren't indifferent to your person and needs actually exist in this world. Cut most ties with parents, if possible, talk to them as little as possible, instead meet people who're capable of caring and believe in them.
That's rough. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at 27 (this form used to be called Asperger's Syndrome). I always had trouble socializing with people, partly because I'm an introvert, partly because of fear. Now I know this fear is in large part due to my autism, which makes it hard to connect with people (among other issues).
I'm 31 now and it's still difficult, even with therapy. I do believe there is hope, however. Hopefully you can see it too.
Even though this comment is already 2 years old, I hope you're doing better.
>>and then slowly exposing ourselves to the environment and the ppl around us ..will make us think that hey look that I wsa wrong all along ..and that small moment is incredibly powerful ..because that again by itself makes the person do somehting more and more ...UNtil we come to a point where we can actually confide in our ability to express and commute ..This is truly how I grew out of this ..its really really not that hard. Hope this helps some one out there ..or the guy in this video ..:)
It took me till age 40 to find out about AvPD and as you say and I knew there was something wrong but not understand exactly what. I was so glad to know about it because I can now work on filling in the gaps this disease has left in my life. I hope you can too. It definitely helps to know what you have wrong with you and that is EXACTLY how I felt. It wasn't a release. but I know what my prison is made of now.
Dam wish u the best man.
Yes I agree! I want a label for it. I like to compartmentalism things. I understand you.
Moving video series!
I just feel like i have an oblication to do something to help you get through this.
if u had not APD what would change in ur life?
This disorder is possible the easiest...curable disorder in the dsm hndbook..Why do i think like this ..because I had this disorder with ever symptom that comes with it...And I think its one of those disorders that gets cured when facing head on ..U cant make narc see himself and expect to cure his cond. But here its peculiar ..because just realizing thats its a iirational fear and belief that we hold on to .. >>
I also have this disorder and it has really ruined my life up to this point. Its one of those things, that is hard to explain to someone else, i think. I have made progress though, but its still a long way to go for me. I wanted to suggest something i have been doing, that has helped me to think differently. I use The Lifelong Success Program by Igor A. Ledochowski. If you cant buy it just download it from Torrent.to or something, because its worth a shot. I see a lot of myself in you.