@KiaundraJackson you were phenomenal. You struck a chord when you said Blacks make up only 4% of therapists. I have to go back and complete what I started. Life and death intervened, but it's time. Thank you.
😢 my tears around 36 min. Is because Sterling is rubbing Ryan’s back. Her pain is his pain. That display of love is so crucial in such a vulnerable moment. I had to pause because I wanted to savor how it made me feel to witness it and how I have to admit that I miss that part of marriage.
When Ryan talked about invisible labor 😮💨 My Wife helped me understand what that is and how I can help her in that process. It’s definitely not discussed enough
Your podcast is the first podcast I can honestly say, I do not skip. I watch all the way through. It's comedy, therapy wrapped in black love. I know I love this because I'm hoping the internet trolls don't come knocking. I literally feel like I understand both of you, especially ryan.
I love you two. My prayer is that this insight you're giving us into your relationship draws the two of you closer, unlike many reality TV couples. If there's ever a time that it's going left, don't sacrifice the Browns for us. Thank you for sharing your love in all of its glory...and how you don't always agree. ❤❤❤❤
This. The level of vulnerability and transparency that is being exposed for the world is why we love y’all. BUT…. please leave us before y’all leave one another! Y’all are one of few couples out here that embodies the essence of black love, especially in entertainment. Thanks for letting us in y’all’s life. Much love and respect💗
Could not AGREE MORE‼️ I was blown AWAY after the first video! I LOVED every moment ! They gave us THE REAL-REAL ‼️ Thank you, Ryan & Sterling 🙏🏾 ... but "Leave us before yall leave each other" - Jada, that's a bar🎶
Sterling was PREACHING this episode! Especially about the silence. And also therapy should give US the tools in life, that WE then utilize outside of therapy. The therapist should not be the only one with the tools. LOL!!! --- LOVE ya'll! ❤
I am like Sterling. I love asking questions and have learned that it can be deemed invasive by others. Wanting to see people clearly does not mean that the person is ready to be seen or is comfortable being seen. I still ask questions, but I am more mindful of the person's total response, not just their words.
I feel Ryan. Sometimes I need to think about what I’m going to say and make sure I can articulate it clearly and I don’t say things that are hurtful because I’m frustrated. This is especially true when in a relationship with someone like Sterling who’s going to always go back to the words that you said in a frustrated moment. So I’m not gonna give you the opportunity to say I said something mean. I’m going to take my time and process and make sure I say the things that are going to be productive.
This is soooo real to me. I'm Sterling and the person, in my last relationship, was like Ryan but not a conversationalist at all. We started therapy but didn't see it through and broke up. Therapy is such an incredible tool for understanding and growth.
“Not talking about something that’s important is way worse than arguing.” Well said and so true! The entire discussion around this point was such a gem. Thanks for sharing yourselves with us!
First of all, I love Sterling as an actor, always! And now I love you both as humans. I love that insight about talking in the car, that was awesome. I really appreciate this conversation for it's honesty and how it allows us to look at the reality of relationships. Thank you so much for that. Also, in my experience as a Narrative Marriage & Family Therapist, I have found that Curiosity is the basis for everything healthy in relationship. Curiosity leads to understanding. Curiosity is the opposite of certainty and judgment. Curiosity keeps us growing and not fixed or stuck. Curiosity helps fight against anger and rage. Starting with, I wonder.... makes your partner feel seen, often. And curiosity is a respectful practice in relationship that tells our partner that even though we've been together for years, we don't take for granted that we know everything about them and leaves open the possibility that they might see something new or different. Thank you.
I genuinely love you both as human beings. Also, as a couple, actors, unofficial comedians, and cool black folk. I always see the authenticity and feel the love.❤ I want to save and watch this with my future person.....so rich.
Listen, idk where I have been, but I NEED THIS (ya'll) IN MY LIFE this season. WOW, I can't put my phone down. Love you both and Thanking God you created this platform. Although single and a person who believes in therapy, I desire the energy of personality and agree to disagree. Thank you! I'm so here for it❤
"I wanna be my most constructive self" I felt this Ryan. Also, I feel Sterling that silence is a challenge as well. As the therapist stated timing, capacity are HUGE! Check ins are new for us and have been helpful recently.
I love this podcast thanks so much for sharing your experience.Not yet married but it’s beautiful to see healthy ways of communicating and agreeing to disagree ❤
Ryan is me. Sterling is my husband. Swear. Women have so much they carry men don’t generally think about. Also, when our “jobs” change as they get older n we get older we have to keep redefining and adjusting who we are. Hormonally, physically and mentally, we evolve so many times it keeps us or maybe just me off balance. Finding a way to attempt semblance and some kind of balance is a key in my relationship. Also, sterling is so much like Randall it’s scary. I can hear Beth yelling about the adoptions stuff at Kevin’s manny taping comes to mind lol. Love u guys. Ur awesome.
LISTEN!!!!!!!! The invisible labor thing really hit home for my hubby & I. We watched the 1st episode and laughed until our stomachs hurt... it was super cute. But bae-beeee ish got real in this episode. We got 27 mins in and had to pause because it hit H-O-M-E in a good way!!! We had a wonderful discussion full of new understanding. That's the beauty of marriage - always discovering something new. We love how authentic this podcast is... this is truly a God-send.
This was an authentic engaging exchange. Thank you for this! I think yall are 2 dynamic beautiful human beings that inspire me to be a better husband to my wife. So is the therapist…She is good!
Another great pod. One sign of a great pod is you don't realize how fast it goes by. This is a REAL black marriage, and I completely understand where Sterling be coming from but hearing Ryan talk about her communication style makes me more empathic to my wife.
Omgosh, silence is the worst! It's like a continuous beating. I need time to process, but the silent treatment period is horrible. Love you two, thank for being so open and honest❤
Another banger! I absolutely adore this because so many people perpetuate this idea that a happy and successful marriage must have elements of perfection, and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be perfect,or to have a perfect anything because we are all flawed human beings. Thank you for being vulnerable and showing us what real love is - which is a willingness to yield to each other in spite of differences.
Sterling is a Gemini Moon (more than likely). They stay asking questionsssss. They often love the art of language and verbal communication - semantics matter a lot. They want to ponder ideas and facts, have an insatiable curiosity, and are highly adaptable. Ryan's chart has a lot of Leo in it -- it's fixed -- she realllly locks in on what she's doing but also takes longer to think through responses (because she's locked in). This makes her reliable. Love the podcast! Big fans of you both.
The level of honesty they are bringing to our screens is insane. Who said we deserved this peak behind the curtain???? It is so refreshing to see intelligent, thoughtful and STUNNING black individuals talking about real issues. Come on now. Sending love from London
Comment #2 after listening to the entire podcast and letting it sit with me. You both are AMAZING! We got pieces of it on Black Love, BUT THIS is so real. How can the people on my tv screen deal with the same thing me and my husband deal with? The asking a question from a place of privilege made me shout to the high heavens. It’s was a revelation for me AND Sterling. The point Sterling made about it seeming like Ryan doesn’t care about his conversation…This is us (me and my husband but pun intended) and I loved knowing it isn’t only us. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’ll say it again, thank you. Great, now I’m in tears! 🤣🙏🏾
Yes, this is Black Love, but extended 😂 You know us, we like to keep it real! Happy to know this is so relatable for so many-we need to have these conversations!!
Y'all are soooo real. I see my husband and mysef in this conversation as if I'm mirror. Only difference, my husband doesn't think we need therapy and won't even listen to this podcast. I told him we were on a podcast.
This show is definitely the show we all didn’t know we needed ❤❤❤ I see healing and power in relationships happening because of the transparency within this show. I for so long assumed my relationship was THEE ONLY one that couldn’t agree, so ending it seemed like the only way to resolve.
Месяц назад+1
Holy shit....this convo is real...enlightening and fuckin familiar. Very good. This actually feels authentic and genuine. You both make excellent points.
I'm like Sterling. I ask a lot of questions. Things need to make sense to me. I analyze alot. One of my friends refuses to do hypothetical questions because she says I will mess it up 😅.
Great episode! This podcast showcases the reality of what real marriage is all about. Evolving can be challenging and not easy, but growing in love is worth it. Invisible labor is a real thing and so exhausting at times. There's so much involved in being a wife, mother, daughter, employee, etc. Women in particular need constant moments of self-care to recover from it. The therapist was outstanding and on point!!!!
I feel you, Ryan. As STL women, the pop-off factor is real. We are fiercely protective and unapologic about it. But in the long term, it is more beneficial that we collect ourselves before we gather others. Because sometimes what we are releasing has nothing to do with the other person. I learned to ask myself, “Will this matter in one year?” the answer is no, wish them heaven and move in. Because protecting my peace became a priority. And the truth is, most people will never understand us. Love the show!
I couldn’t wait to see the next episode! I love the energy. Sterling I need to know things too! I love to know who ppl think. Ryan will sing Beyoncé and dance in minute. I love this podcast, the podcast I didn’t know I needed.
SKB kept interrupting Ryan while she was trying to explain her story. I hope they both watch these episodes so that they can see how they communicate with each other. I love this!
Thank you for giving me the term “invisible labor” and the frustration felt when interrupted. This is very real. I didn’t have the words to communicate it but I agree with Ryan. I’ve felt bitter as well.
Ryan! You put words to what I have been feeling for years in my marriage about the unspoken duties that is expected to me as a wife that I did not sign up for. thank you for helping me now to be able to explain it in a way that can be heard.
Silence. Timing. Emotional capacity. It's so interesting to see how even with our most thoughtful intentions how the other person can receive a completely different message.
I felt like I was watching me and my husband (19 yrs married). This is helping me to see that we can have a disagreement, and the relationship is not over. In the past I always felt so defeated when we would disagree.
Clearly adding the word “CLEARLY” to my very demure and very mindful vocabulary! This podcast has inspired me to write my first ever comment on RUclips. #Clearly# Love it!
Honestly, I think when you’ve been together a long time you begin to think everything you say is important and needs to be addressed. It doesn’t, it just doesn’t. I’m so glad there’s language for “invisible labor”, that’s real ❤ I agree the silence is also an issue if it last a long time, but some space and silence is necessary depending on how you process❤
Ryan, I really resonated with your points on invisible labor. As a Black woman, even though I’m not a mother or wife, I often find myself picking up responsibilities where the men in my family fall short. It’s taken a lot of work to set boundaries with family-learning to be okay with things falling apart has been tough, but necessary. It’s allowed me to feel more held and get to know the root of what’s troubling me. I also connected to you sharing about anger. I’ve experienced similar struggles, my anger would push others away instead of being held for it was - a projection of personal pain. One tool that’s helped me is the uplvl communication by Kenya Stevens and her husband Carl. It’s worked for me from close friendships and intimate relationships helping me seek the root of the things that get me riled up. You are so amazing for transparently sharing vulnerabilities and acknowledging all of yourself in it. Thank you!
As a young 30 yr old Man who wants to be married, i really appreciate this podcast and you all’s transparency on the reality of adult relationships. Keep it coming Also Sterling calling Ryan “Niglet” and “Negress” is hilarious 😹
I have reviewed and listened to this podcast several times. It brought up themes we struggle with and gives us a starting place to approach the challenges we have around communication. Thank you and Dr. Jackson for helping me and my husband start the conversation! You guys rock!
Soror, I'm going to continue watching because I truly believe in the conversations you all have. So... Soror, sometimes you're all over the place... Invisible labor, that was great... great way to describe it. Early observation... I love the ability that you all have to disagree and not get angry. Thank you for opening this up for those of us who don't have what you two have. Blessings
I love you two beautiful people. And thank you for being honest in front of the camera, by sharing yourselves with strangers "Us".. much love to you both...
This was a great episode! I love it ! Kiaundra and I have done work together as colleagues. She’s great! I love the show!! I look forward to future episodes.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 delicious points . Great episode! Ryan what you said about communicating in containers reminds me of Kenya Stevens' book, How to Communicate without Arguing.
I feel so lucky to get to watch Sterling K Brown on my screen twice a week. The first with That Was Us & now with you two fabulous people! I cannot say enough about this podcast! I'm so impressed with both of you. Thank you for doing this, I'm sure you're helping a lot of couples out there. Now, if i can just find my partner, I'd be good. Lots of love from Salem MA 🥰💜
I feel you Ryan regarding invisible labor I didn’t know there was a term for this in women have to do this on a daily basis and like you said, we have to hold this information in our heads and our frustration level rises because other people in our household don’t realize that were carrying all of this so well said thank you for seeing me❤❤❤
Yesss!! This is something that came out during therapy with my husband. Let me finish my task because the list of things in my head are priority and that time away from that list is crucial. 15:51 was too real!!
@@ItsMyRealName my husband and I have been married for 29 years. I never had a name to put on what was being done to me and for years I felt like I was not valued because of all the things that I was having to keep straight in my head, but was yet accused of having an attitude, I bought that to my husband‘s attention today and we’re way past that now cause my kids are grown, but it’s nice to know I wasn’t crazy
I love you both individually and as a couple. 😊❤ Although I don’t want to get married again, I can appreciate the work that you both are doing to have an incredible marriage.
Sterling got on my nerves this episode 🤣 A lot of it was giving… nitpicking at best, but I respect the bravery to put this out in the world & try to grow with transparency. Love and respect to yall and excited for more eps 💕
thats really interesting and shows how different people process things differently lol! Ryan was the one getting on my nerves this episode and i was agreeing with everything Sterling was saying😂😂
My God, I know this is not my spouse, but, so relatable in the personalities. Especially that processing piece at 7:13. Ryan is me. For me it’s rooted in no space for my opinion growing up, and not wanting to be the cause of folks getting their feelings hurt.And this part 19:13 , therapy is a safe space. When I heard about his church background on the first episode, it makes sense about how it appears he addresses things. Arguing is exhausting for me, especially when I don’t feel I’m being heard.
Thank you for sharing. I don’t usually watch podcasts with couples but this was very enjoyable. I relate with Sterling so much and have a partner similar to Ryan. Seeing married people work through this gives me hope with my own current communication dynamic in my relationship. I didn’t know other people struggle in the same way and still maintain healthy relationships. The 98% statistic is mind blowing
My 24 year old son is like Sterling! They will remember EVERY WORD! But Sir, give me grace to change my thought on that topic; like I give you 🙏🏽💕. Now on the positive, I love the communication abilities and the thoughtfulness in how they process information. So it still helps them (men like Sterling and my son) maintain good relationships because they are actually communicating effectively 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I absolutely love your podcast videos! Greatly anticipating your next episode! Informative, funny, transparent, and inspiring! Thank you both and may God continue to bless your family!
Balance. That word is heavy. Trying to find that middle ground is work. I am both of them at any given time. Sterling said something akin to he asks a question to get to a bigger conversation. Ooooh that irked the ish out of me. Like, don’t stair step me when you have a broader point you’re trying to get to. Let’s go to that level. What I love about this podcast is their individual perceptions of themselves and how that weaves together to work in the concept of them. Another great episode.
Podcast is 🔥🔥🔥 Thank you for being obedient to God and producing a well rounded, self reflective, and intelligent conversations. That is relevant and intuitive for the culture.
This is so real. I love the transparency and that you are sharing it with us. Many people only want to show the IG beautiful moments. However, both the we are still working on our ish, and we are a beautiful black couple on IG are beautiful and appreciated. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.
Only 1/3 in, but I'm loving this episode. And I'm jealous that you guys can EFFECTIVELY talk over each other, while in a relationship. Only my female friends and I can do this with ease but my significant other is not with it AT ALL! LOL. I am into Jungian psychology/MBTI, so i know his personality type is polar to my ENFP ways lol. Just love how you guys can convverse about topics❤
I’m with you ❤ 35:01 100%…I absolutely have that side when I’m worked up! I appreciate your different types of communication , and I really appreciate Dr.Jackson coming along helping US ALL navigate this.
Thank you so much for having me as your FIRST guest expert! I hope I brought some value to your audience. Plus, we had a blast lol🎉
@KiaundraJackson you were phenomenal. You struck a chord when you said Blacks make up only 4% of therapists. I have to go back and complete what I started. Life and death intervened, but it's time. Thank you.
@@norawilburne6188 thank you for your kind words! Yes, there's only about 4% of therapists of color in our field. We need more of us🙌🏾
You da best, Kiaundra!!!!!
@@SterlingBrown-iv8xf Thanks so much🙌🏾
Amazing job! 🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I like the idea of scheduling a day to discuss issues! 😊
“I feel like silence is the worst thing that you can introduce and make comfortable in a marriage.”
*WHEW… A BAR*
I agree. I have friends that would go days and weeks without talking which blew my mind.
@@virtuoso8642 I felt that too
Barsssss
😢 my tears around 36 min. Is because Sterling is rubbing Ryan’s back. Her pain is his pain. That display of love is so crucial in such a vulnerable moment. I had to pause because I wanted to savor how it made me feel to witness it and how I have to admit that I miss that part of marriage.
When Ryan talked about invisible labor 😮💨 My Wife helped me understand what that is and how I can help her in that process. It’s definitely not discussed enough
Definitely!! I'm glad you're actively supporting her through that!
Thisssssss!
Amen!!!
Your podcast is the first podcast I can honestly say, I do not skip. I watch all the way through. It's comedy, therapy wrapped in black love. I know I love this because I'm hoping the internet trolls don't come knocking. I literally feel like I understand both of you, especially ryan.
Bless!
I love you two. My prayer is that this insight you're giving us into your relationship draws the two of you closer, unlike many reality TV couples. If there's ever a time that it's going left, don't sacrifice the Browns for us.
Thank you for sharing your love in all of its glory...and how you don't always agree. ❤❤❤❤
This. The level of vulnerability and transparency that is being exposed for the world is why we love y’all. BUT…. please leave us before y’all leave one another! Y’all are one of few couples out here that embodies the essence of black love, especially in entertainment.
Thanks for letting us in y’all’s life. Much love and respect💗
Could not AGREE MORE‼️ I was blown AWAY after the first video! I LOVED every moment ! They gave us THE REAL-REAL ‼️ Thank you, Ryan & Sterling 🙏🏾 ... but "Leave us before yall leave each other" - Jada, that's a bar🎶
1000%!!!!!!
oh my YES
This! Please know when to step back from the public. If you have to, link up with the other Browns for tips how to navigate through this.
5 minutes into this podcast and I think it’s safe to say this is the best podcast ever 🎯
You're too kind... 💛
That invisible labor HIT HARD! Such a true thing we Moms take on....
This is sooo me and my husband. After 5 yrs of marriage, I feel like there is hope after listening to this podcast
Sterling was PREACHING this episode! Especially about the silence. And also therapy should give US the tools in life, that WE then utilize outside of therapy. The therapist should not be the only one with the tools. LOL!!! --- LOVE ya'll! ❤
I am a single woman enjoying every bit of these conversations! Thank you!
This will help us in our future blessed relationship 😊
You can tell that they are friends before anything else. Love them!!!
I am like Sterling. I love asking questions and have learned that it can be deemed invasive by others. Wanting to see people clearly does not mean that the person is ready to be seen or is comfortable being seen.
I still ask questions, but I am more mindful of the person's total response, not just their words.
I feel Ryan. Sometimes I need to think about what I’m going to say and make sure I can articulate it clearly and I don’t say things that are hurtful because I’m frustrated. This is especially true when in a relationship with someone like Sterling who’s going to always go back to the words that you said in a frustrated moment. So I’m not gonna give you the opportunity to say I said something mean. I’m going to take my time and process and make sure I say the things that are going to be productive.
Soooooooo 2 mins in and I’m locked in!! YALL IM so glad the decision was made to do this podcast!! 😂😂😂😂
You're on such a good episode, too!
This is soooo real to me. I'm Sterling and the person, in my last relationship, was like Ryan but not a conversationalist at all. We started therapy but didn't see it through and broke up. Therapy is such an incredible tool for understanding and growth.
Ryan is me. Sterling is me.
Yes! I'm both of them too strangely lol
My exact thought
“Not talking about something that’s important is way worse than arguing.” Well said and so true! The entire discussion around this point was such a gem. Thanks for sharing yourselves with us!
That was a real take away in this episode for sure!
Thank Y'all! We the people LOVE YOU!
First of all, I love Sterling as an actor, always! And now I love you both as humans. I love that insight about talking in the car, that was awesome. I really appreciate this conversation for it's honesty and how it allows us to look at the reality of relationships. Thank you so much for that. Also, in my experience as a Narrative Marriage & Family Therapist, I have found that Curiosity is the basis for everything healthy in relationship. Curiosity leads to understanding. Curiosity is the opposite of certainty and judgment. Curiosity keeps us growing and not fixed or stuck. Curiosity helps fight against anger and rage. Starting with, I wonder.... makes your partner feel seen, often. And curiosity is a respectful practice in relationship that tells our partner that even though we've been together for years, we don't take for granted that we know everything about them and leaves open the possibility that they might see something new or different. Thank you.
That is so beautiful... and yes, we agree with you! Curiosity is so powerful, and often not explored enough!
I genuinely love you both as human beings. Also, as a couple, actors, unofficial comedians, and cool black folk. I always see the authenticity and feel the love.❤ I want to save and watch this with my future person.....so rich.
Listen, idk where I have been, but I NEED THIS (ya'll) IN MY LIFE this season. WOW, I can't put my phone down. Love you both and Thanking God you created this platform. Although single and a person who believes in therapy, I desire the energy of personality and agree to disagree. Thank you! I'm so here for it❤
"I wanna be my most constructive self" I felt this Ryan. Also, I feel Sterling that silence is a challenge as well.
As the therapist stated timing, capacity are HUGE! Check ins are new for us and have been helpful recently.
I love this podcast thanks so much for sharing your experience.Not yet married but it’s beautiful to see healthy ways of communicating and agreeing to disagree ❤
Ryan is me. Sterling is my husband. Swear. Women have so much they carry men don’t generally think about. Also, when our “jobs” change as they get older n we get older we have to keep redefining and adjusting who we are. Hormonally, physically and mentally, we evolve so many times it keeps us or maybe just me off balance. Finding a way to attempt semblance and some kind of balance is a key in my relationship. Also, sterling is so much like Randall it’s scary. I can hear Beth yelling about the adoptions stuff at Kevin’s manny taping comes to mind lol. Love u guys. Ur awesome.
LISTEN!!!!!!!! The invisible labor thing really hit home for my hubby & I. We watched the 1st episode and laughed until our stomachs hurt... it was super cute. But bae-beeee ish got real in this episode. We got 27 mins in and had to pause because it hit H-O-M-E in a good way!!! We had a wonderful discussion full of new understanding. That's the beauty of marriage - always discovering something new. We love how authentic this podcast is... this is truly a God-send.
Yes, I also think we took a sharp turn between ep 1 and 2 😂 Thank you for listening together!
Thanks for this! I am very much like Ryan! I need time to process. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 So glad I’m not alone! 😬
This was an authentic engaging exchange. Thank you for this! I think yall are 2 dynamic beautiful human beings that inspire me to be a better husband to my wife. So is the therapist…She is good!
Another great pod. One sign of a great pod is you don't realize how fast it goes by. This is a REAL black marriage, and I completely understand where Sterling be coming from but hearing Ryan talk about her communication style makes me more empathic to my wife.
Omgosh, silence is the worst! It's like a continuous beating. I need time to process, but the silent treatment period is horrible. Love you two, thank for being so open and honest❤
Another banger! I absolutely adore this because so many people perpetuate this idea that a happy and successful marriage must have elements of perfection, and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be perfect,or to have a perfect anything because we are all flawed human beings. Thank you for being vulnerable and showing us what real love is - which is a willingness to yield to each other in spite of differences.
Sterling is a Gemini Moon (more than likely). They stay asking questionsssss. They often love the art of language and verbal communication - semantics matter a lot. They want to ponder ideas and facts, have an insatiable curiosity, and are highly adaptable. Ryan's chart has a lot of Leo in it -- it's fixed -- she realllly locks in on what she's doing but also takes longer to think through responses (because she's locked in). This makes her reliable. Love the podcast! Big fans of you both.
The level of honesty they are bringing to our screens is insane. Who said we deserved this peak behind the curtain???? It is so refreshing to see intelligent, thoughtful and STUNNING black individuals talking about real issues. Come on now.
Sending love from London
Comment #2 after listening to the entire podcast and letting it sit with me. You both are AMAZING! We got pieces of it on Black Love, BUT THIS is so real. How can the people on my tv screen deal with the same thing me and my husband deal with? The asking a question from a place of privilege made me shout to the high heavens. It’s was a revelation for me AND Sterling. The point Sterling made about it seeming like Ryan doesn’t care about his conversation…This is us (me and my husband but pun intended) and I loved knowing it isn’t only us. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’ll say it again, thank you. Great, now I’m in tears! 🤣🙏🏾
Yes, this is Black Love, but extended 😂 You know us, we like to keep it real! Happy to know this is so relatable for so many-we need to have these conversations!!
Y'all are soooo real. I see my husband and mysef in this conversation as if I'm mirror. Only difference, my husband doesn't think we need therapy and won't even listen to this podcast. I told him we were on a podcast.
I am thoroughly enjoying the transparency and vulnerability.
I loved his ending answer. There is so much intimacy involved in the sharing information than already knowing the information ❤❤❤❤❤❤
This show is definitely the show we all didn’t know we needed ❤❤❤ I see healing and power in relationships happening because of the transparency within this show. I for so long assumed my relationship was THEE ONLY one that couldn’t agree, so ending it seemed like the only way to resolve.
Holy shit....this convo is real...enlightening and fuckin familiar. Very good. This actually feels authentic and genuine. You both make excellent points.
I absolutely love this podcast. Please don’t stop (no pressure). This is us, frfr. ❤️❤️
I'm like Sterling. I ask a lot of questions. Things need to make sense to me. I analyze alot. One of my friends refuses to do hypothetical questions because she says I will mess it up 😅.
I’ve never heard the term invisible labor! I’m glad it’s called something. I felt every word Ryan said!
It's a thing!! Not many people have heard this term before either... 😮💨
Great episode! This podcast showcases the reality of what real marriage is all about. Evolving can be challenging and not easy, but growing in love is worth it. Invisible labor is a real thing and so exhausting at times. There's so much involved in being a wife, mother, daughter, employee, etc. Women in particular need constant moments of self-care to recover from it. The therapist was outstanding and on point!!!!
I swear this is what’s needed for couples. I love the transparency, love, and grace shown to each other. Thank you both for dropping ep 2🎉❤
I don't care what they talking about i love these two. SUBSCRIBED! You guys are the best. Great representation.
I feel you, Ryan. As STL women, the pop-off factor is real. We are fiercely protective and unapologic about it. But in the long term, it is more beneficial that we collect ourselves before we gather others. Because sometimes what we are releasing has nothing to do with the other person. I learned to ask myself, “Will this matter in one year?” the answer is no, wish them heaven and move in. Because protecting my peace became a priority. And the truth is, most people will never understand us. Love the show!
The honesty and transparency in this episode is top tier & super relatable!!! 💜
Invisible labor is a real thing. I felt every word about this Ryan. GREAT episode!
Just acknowledging the invisible labor goes a loooong way!
I couldn’t wait to see the next episode! I love the energy. Sterling I need to know things too! I love to know who ppl think. Ryan will sing Beyoncé and dance in minute. I love this podcast, the podcast I didn’t know I needed.
Ryan is always .05 seconds away from a Beyoncé moment ✨
"There's a difference between talking and communicating" THIS❤❤❤
SKB kept interrupting Ryan while she was trying to explain her story. I hope they both watch these episodes so that they can see how they communicate with each other. I love this!
Thank you for giving me the term “invisible labor” and the frustration felt when interrupted. This is very real. I didn’t have the words to communicate it but I agree with Ryan. I’ve felt bitter as well.
Ryan! You put words to what I have been feeling for years in my marriage about the unspoken duties that is expected to me as a wife that I did not sign up for. thank you for helping me now to be able to explain it in a way that can be heard.
WOW! Thank you both for living out loud and sharing with us what "real" life is and looks like!
Silence. Timing. Emotional capacity. It's so interesting to see how even with our most thoughtful intentions how the other person can receive a completely different message.
I felt like I was watching me and my husband (19 yrs married). This is helping me to see that we can have a disagreement, and the relationship is not over. In the past I always felt so defeated when we would disagree.
Clearly adding the word “CLEARLY” to my very demure and very mindful vocabulary!
This podcast has inspired me to write my first ever comment on RUclips. #Clearly# Love it!
CLEARLY that's the best choice 😉
Honestly, I think when you’ve been together a long time you begin to think everything you say is important and needs to be addressed. It doesn’t, it just doesn’t. I’m so glad there’s language for “invisible labor”, that’s real ❤ I agree the silence is also an issue if it last a long time, but some space and silence is necessary depending on how you process❤
Love this episode too ! Ryan hit on the ‘invisible labor’ aspect so very well , I definitely felt her 🤣🥰.
Ryan, I really resonated with your points on invisible labor. As a Black woman, even though I’m not a mother or wife, I often find myself picking up responsibilities where the men in my family fall short. It’s taken a lot of work to set boundaries with family-learning to be okay with things falling apart has been tough, but necessary. It’s allowed me to feel more held and get to know the root of what’s troubling me.
I also connected to you sharing about anger. I’ve experienced similar struggles, my anger would push others away instead of being held for it was - a projection of personal pain. One tool that’s helped me is the uplvl communication by Kenya Stevens and her husband Carl. It’s worked for me from close friendships and intimate relationships helping me seek the root of the things that get me riled up.
You are so amazing for transparently sharing vulnerabilities and acknowledging all of yourself in it. Thank you!
Ryan took words right out of my mouth with invisible labor. It should be a public holiday!!!
As a young 30 yr old Man who wants to be married, i really appreciate this podcast and you all’s transparency on the reality of adult relationships.
Keep it coming
Also Sterling calling Ryan “Niglet” and “Negress” is hilarious 😹
I have reviewed and listened to this podcast several times. It brought up themes we struggle with and gives us a starting place to approach the challenges we have around communication. Thank you and Dr. Jackson for helping me and my husband start the conversation! You guys rock!
I feel like I'm a fly on the wall, eating my popcorn, enjoying it all.
@@blackgrowninglendale4200 🤣🤣🤣
Well, I hope we entertained! 😂
Definitely got you back on invisible labor!! Well said! 👏🏾
Soror, I'm going to continue watching because I truly believe in the conversations you all have. So... Soror, sometimes you're all over the place... Invisible labor, that was great... great way to describe it. Early observation... I love the ability that you all have to disagree and not get angry. Thank you for opening this up for those of us who don't have what you two have. Blessings
Hey Soror! Thanks so much for listening 💛 And yes! Your observation is exactly what this podcast's backbone is 😅
This is my NEW favorite podcast. You both are so real and I feel like we should hang out.
Incredible gift. Thank you for this opportunity. You are both gracious in your truth; this is a blessing.
I love you two beautiful people. And thank you for being honest in front of the camera, by sharing yourselves with strangers "Us".. much love to you both...
Thank you so much!!
This was a great episode! I love it ! Kiaundra and I have done work together as colleagues. She’s great! I love the show!! I look forward to future episodes.
She just rocks man 💛 Thanks for tuning in!
My goodness sterling is me but also yesss Ryan is me!!! OMG I love this!!!!!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 delicious points . Great episode! Ryan what you said about communicating in containers reminds me of Kenya Stevens' book, How to Communicate without Arguing.
Ooh! I'll have to check that one out then 💛
I loved this episode. I felt so seen when Ryan mentioned she's trying not to go off. Thank you for making this space
I feel so lucky to get to watch Sterling K Brown on my screen twice a week. The first with That Was Us & now with you two fabulous people! I cannot say enough about this podcast! I'm so impressed with both of you. Thank you for doing this, I'm sure you're helping a lot of couples out there. Now, if i can just find my partner, I'd be good. Lots of love from Salem MA 🥰💜
Yes we have your back. This is what we have been experiencing. Invisible Labor!!!
I feel you Ryan regarding invisible labor I didn’t know there was a term for this in women have to do this on a daily basis and like you said, we have to hold this information in our heads and our frustration level rises because other people in our household don’t realize that were carrying all of this so well said thank you for seeing me❤❤❤
I'm sorry to hear this. Can you maybe not hold it in your head and communicate it out to get some help from your spouse or family?
Yesss!! This is something that came out during therapy with my husband. Let me finish my task because the list of things in my head are priority and that time away from that list is crucial. 15:51 was too real!!
@@ItsMyRealName my husband and I have been married for 29 years. I never had a name to put on what was being done to me and for years I felt like I was not valued because of all the things that I was having to keep straight in my head, but was yet accused of having an attitude, I bought that to my husband‘s attention today and we’re way past that now cause my kids are grown, but it’s nice to know I wasn’t crazy
I resonated so much with Ryan. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it helped me to understand why I process things the way I do. Love this podcast!
Invisible labor...Ryan, I'm stealing that term. And yes, you are correct
I love you both individually and as a couple. 😊❤ Although I don’t want to get married again, I can appreciate the work that you both are doing to have an incredible marriage.
I found myself trying to" like" the video, but I already did. Lol, needless to say, I love you both for this amount of vulnerability/realness
Sterling got on my nerves this episode 🤣 A lot of it was giving… nitpicking at best, but I respect the bravery to put this out in the world & try to grow with transparency. Love and respect to yall and excited for more eps 💕
thats really interesting and shows how different people process things differently lol! Ryan was the one getting on my nerves this episode and i was agreeing with everything Sterling was saying😂😂
This... this is it... We don't always agree 💛
My God, I know this is not my spouse, but, so relatable in the personalities. Especially that processing piece at 7:13. Ryan is me. For me it’s rooted in no space for my opinion growing up, and not wanting to be the cause of folks getting their feelings hurt.And this part 19:13 , therapy is a safe space. When I heard about his church background on the first episode, it makes sense about how it appears he addresses things. Arguing is exhausting for me, especially when I don’t feel I’m being heard.
It's so true though! We just need to process first sometimes!
I felt Sterling so much. Sometimes, I don't need you to have an actual answer to the question, but I do need you to try and answer it.
Thank you for sharing. I don’t usually watch podcasts with couples but this was very enjoyable. I relate with Sterling so much and have a partner similar to Ryan. Seeing married people work through this gives me hope with my own current communication dynamic in my relationship. I didn’t know other people struggle in the same way and still maintain healthy relationships. The 98% statistic is mind blowing
I love this so much!!! It destigmatizes therapy in the black community and how we can all communicate better.
Invisible labor! A whole sermon!!!
This was so beautiful and insightful, thank you for putting this project out into the world 🧡
Thank you so much for bringing Kiaundra on the show. You guys are so adorable and I loved your questions and your interaction with each other.
oh my goodness this reminds me of me and my husband. Ryan thank you for speaking to the affects of invisible labor!
My 24 year old son is like Sterling! They will remember EVERY WORD! But Sir, give me grace to change my thought on that topic; like I give you 🙏🏽💕. Now on the positive, I love the communication abilities and the thoughtfulness in how they process information. So it still helps them (men like Sterling and my son) maintain good relationships because they are actually communicating effectively 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
"I GET TO show love today" ❤ this!
I absolutely love your podcast videos! Greatly anticipating your next episode! Informative, funny, transparent, and inspiring! Thank you both and may God continue to bless your family!
This podcast is exceptional and needed. Thank you both for your transparency humor 🤣!!
“Invisible work” I do have your back on this Ryan. This is a real thing. 💕
Balance. That word is heavy. Trying to find that middle ground is work. I am both of them at any given time. Sterling said something akin to he asks a question to get to a bigger conversation. Ooooh that irked the ish out of me. Like, don’t stair step me when you have a broader point you’re trying to get to. Let’s go to that level. What I love about this podcast is their individual perceptions of themselves and how that weaves together to work in the concept of them. Another great episode.
Podcast is 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for being obedient to God and producing a well rounded, self reflective, and intelligent conversations. That is relevant and intuitive for the culture.
Ikr❤
This is so real. I love the transparency and that you are sharing it with us. Many people only want to show the IG beautiful moments. However, both the we are still working on our ish, and we are a beautiful black couple on IG are beautiful and appreciated. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.
Kiaundra hair is so good!
Thank you so much!
Only 1/3 in, but I'm loving this episode. And I'm jealous that you guys can EFFECTIVELY talk over each other, while in a relationship. Only my female friends and I can do this with ease but my significant other is not with it AT ALL! LOL. I am into Jungian psychology/MBTI, so i know his personality type is polar to my ENFP ways lol. Just love how you guys can convverse about topics❤
I’m with you ❤ 35:01 100%…I absolutely have that side when I’m worked up! I appreciate your different types of communication , and I really appreciate Dr.Jackson coming along helping US ALL navigate this.
She's the absolute best!
Love it... the invisible labor was a label to the thing that is the most exhausting daily occurrence. Thanks you two. Good stuff 👏 👍🏽
Incredible conversation, thank you.