Are Married People Better Off? | Is the MGTOW Argument Against Marriage Rational?
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- Опубликовано: 7 июл 2024
- This video answers the question: Are people who are married better off? We see research which further indicates that married individuals enjoy certain benefits over those who are unmarried. For example, better mental and physical health, increased happiness, and better economic position. A more detailed look into literature reveals conflicting findings around the association between marriage and happiness. We see a community of men (including the “Men Going Their Own Way” [MGTOW] community) and women who have decided marriage is not a good deal from a cost-benefit perspective. The relationship between marriage and happiness is actually quite complex and it underscores the importance of understand difference between correlation and causation.
Hawkins, D. N., & Booth, A. (2005). Unhappily Ever After: Effects of Long-Term, Low-Quality Marriages on Well-Being. Social Forces, 84(1), 445-465.
Bourassa, K. J., Sbarra, D. A., & Whisman, M. A. (2015). Women in very low quality marriages gain life satisfaction following divorce. Journal of Family Psychology, 29(3), 490-499.
Carlson, D. L. . (2012). Deviations From Desired Age at Marriage: Mental Health Differences Across Marital Status. Journal of Marriage & Family, 74(4), 743-758.
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DePaulo, B. (2006). Singled out: How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
DePaulo, B. (2015). Marriage vs. single life: How science and the media got it so wrong.
Sarkisian, N., & Gerstel, N. (2016). Does singlehood isolate or integrate? Examining the link between marital status and ties to kin, friends, and neighbors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33, 361-384.
"Better to be happily single than unhappily married".
"Better to be happily married than unhappily single"
Edit: 🙂
@@PoM-MoM the chance of being happily married is real low. Most married men are in miserable marriages. They are trapped by the family court system.
Derrick Wright as are many women. not understanding the logic of these comments portraying marriages as only dissatisfactory for men.
@@PoM-MoM says the woman who had absolutely zero risk within her marriage...
How does your man feel...
I can guarantee that when he talks with his buds at the pub he has talked about the same things we all talk about...
The risks involved for men that you wouldnt even have the first clue about...
Fact!
@none of your damn business
Women are trapped by the Fact they, once becoming pregnant are a liability to either the Man or the Government.
You as a Feminist want equality but fail to grasp that women are not equal to men.
Physically you are inferior on almost every physical level and I'd go as far to say mentally as well...
I was married 25 years and I can tell you I’m more at-peace being single...PEACE and quiet.
Amen!
I’ve been married 24 yrs and happier than ever The choices we make when young matter ..you can’t marry the promiscuous high school girl ( although very pretty and popular) without paying the consequences
Love it. Needed this today!
@@Sigueme1 Even if she's not promiscuous, living under the same roof day in & day out with the same person is just straight up torture.
Yep, me too. I lost over 45k in my divorce but I'm much happier.
The question “why are you single?” assumes the default is togetherness. Nobody asks “why are you married?”.
.people should actually ask.....”why did your marriage fail” many Divorced people have the Ignorant judgment (think there is something wrong with them) of asking why single people are single. AFTER a failed marriage.
Holly and ivy good one.
Love this... I’m borrowing it!!!🤙🏼😉
@@LuisAlani - Hee hee ty 🥳!What answer do ppl expect when they ask that question - “oh I’m really hard to get along with. I don’t cook, clean, drive or work. And I’m asexual.” Imagine 😉😝🙃.
A more common question might be "Why are you married to him/her? lol
I am 82 and unmarried. No regrets.
That is beautiful. I love people who do what they want and not what’s expected.
57...NEVER been married!!
that must be so lonely
@@ARTDEVGRU247 He has thousands of friends not only on social media like you or maybe not
@@rsavage9518 you think social media followers are friends?haha 😄 🤣. Sad
So let me get this straight: There is a "divorce rate that is fairly high", and, out of the mere "50-55%" of marriages that actually stay together, "many of those people are in unhappy marriages.''
Bingo! The man is the SLAVE to the woman. Or she divorces and takes your crap anyway..
That divorce rate includes second and third marriages, the divorce rate for first time marriages is actually lower.
What a deal! It's actually worse than that- there's about a 75% chance you'll get divorced at some time
1. That 50% stat doesn't take into account the number of adults who have never been married or haven't been married yet.
2. That stat doesn't take into account people currently married who haven't divorced their spouses yet, but who will at some point in the next few decades. Which again, as I will show in a minute, is a titanic number of people, both numerically and in terms of percentages.
Add those two together, and now that 33% figure is suddenly way off. As in, way too low.
Your risk of divorce is not about whether or not you've been divorced yet. Rather, it's based around the odds of you ever getting divorced at any point throughout your entire lifespan. I'm talking about the odds of you getting divorced, even once, at any time, from age 18 to 82, which is the average life expectancy of someone in the Western world.
A study I just looked up says 26% of divorced men were blindsided by the divorce. Suggests he was happy but she wasn't
I was married for 34 years and now I'm single by my choice and I am happier than I have ever been
So, you couldn't keep the bows you made before God..........
@@jab7168 which ones? the Christmas bows?
@@jab7168 God does not exist
@@jab7168 you bowed at your wedding? also not everyone is religious. marriage is nothing more than a ceremony and a contract that gets you tax benefits.
also ironically the modern wedding is very pagan. you wear a wedding ring? that's pagan.
Don't marry if you don't want to.
Don't have kids if you don't want to.
Do what really brings you joy.
We tend to continue bad cycles upon others and vice versa otherwise.
Break it.
Period.
Bob you gotta break the cycle
@Bob SmithThe Bible doesn't say that.
A man can remain single to better serve Christ.
@@brennocalderan2201 facts
@@brennocalderan2201 Is that why god made the gays?
cherubin7th I’m sorry but god is not real
"Get married or do not get married. No matter what you chose, you will regret it." (Kierkegaard 1813 - 1855, Danish theologist and philosopher)
Someone give that deadman an Emmy.
Applies to so many other things too. No matter what path your life takes, or even what you purchase, you're very likely to wonder what it would be like if you chose differently, and think you might have been happier otherwise ... because every choice has its negatives, and we may not be able to imagine that a different choice would have negatives too. So that different choice appears unrealistically positive.
@@dingfeldersmurfalot4560 thanks for the break down. I get it now.
@@dingfeldersmurfalot4560 True, but I wouldn't say regret though!
This is why you need to practice OPTIMISM and not pessimism. Not positivity, optimism is more powerful for example....nukes and world war 3 everywhere just play the 'at least game'.
"At least I still have bread"
Not everyone is fit for marriage and not everyone is fit for MGTOW.
You know. Thats an interesting way to look at it. I dig it
I've never seen it like that before. I understand MGTOW's argument, however, I do plan to get married someday, and I do want kids. It looks like I have a lot of selection to do.
One of the best answers here!!! Good for you.
@amin_ rahman Many marriages turn into the same old routine, every day repeats, like Groundhog Day.
fred Nil that’s life! Married or single.
I’d rather be single, than married and wish I was single.
Nelson besides that marriage is a financial risk
Why would you wish you were single?!
Plutonian Dragon Queen Tarot maybe he means he would rather have a domestic partnership. That’s what a lot of people are moving towards these days and it’s better. Or maybe he really means being for real single. Either way he’s protecting himself from financial risk, extra work, and emotional distress and he’s a smart man for that.
Donkey.
....so why don’t you leave your relationship??🙄
I'm 39 years old...no kids, no marriage, no house to pay for, debt free, money in the bank.
In the past year I backpacked Europe then drove across the country (FL --> CA) and back. I've only worked 6 months of the last 12. I am just now going back to school to learn a whole new trade as well.
Soooo... why would I get married so a woman can nag me for years before divorcing me and taking half my shit?
Amen
Used to think the same way. 33 and traveled over 30 countries good job. Some
Money saved . Id say i do ok. But i will trade that in a heartbeat for my daughter. Its the best thing that can happen to a man. Being a father. I have a good relationship with my babys mama. No marriage needed .Not every woman is evil. When you become a father you want to do as best as you can for ur kids not because you need to but because you want to.
carlitos99 that is if want children.
Man of the north nobody wants children until they have them.
carlitos99 Forgive me my frankness but that is extremely naive view. Let us not lie to ourselves. There are many who regret having children. That is why some parents treat their kids like shit. One Google search and you find chat rooms for them, articles where authors confess their feelings of regret. If you like chocolate that doesn't mean that everyone likes it.
I have Schizoid PD and I'm married to someone that has schizoid traits. We both have a preference for solitude and solitary activities, so it's like being single but married at the same time. And the best part is, there's no worry of infidelity because neither of us have a desire to interact with others. It's awesome.
Good deal
How did you find someone so similar?
This is the exact kind of relationship I would like to have in life as well. Being alone with someone is like the best thing ever. Mutually liking to be around each other and at the same time not putting too much pressure on one another.
Very interesting arrangement 👍
Me too!
The most common opposition to marriage i hear on MGTOW forums isn't about happiness, but about liability. MGTOW men don't want the liability of marriage. They see the cards stacked against them, and the liability is seen as more of an eventuality.
Yup. It seems largely a numbers game. Apparently some MGTOW do date or have relationships that simply don't turn into marriage, however long they go on. They just have the weight of a dangerous contract taken off their shoulders.
That's a correct assessment.
This. The exposure is huge.
After divorce, women's standard of living goes down and the man's goes up. Looks to me like the cards are stacked the other way.
@Tech Junkie Ok cynical red pill man. Whatever you say, sir. Statistics/studies have shown that the woman's standard of living goes down and the man's goes up. Obviously there are many different scenarios as to why people split up but to blame women for getting "bored" is ludicrous. Your friend is only one person of many. My sister's ex-husband had an affair w/his secretary and treated his wife and 3 young kids terribly. Guess what? She doesn't hate men and found someone decent. I was married for 32 years b4 my husband died; we both worked and respected each other. How long are you going to hate women because of one friend and a bunch of whiny men-only blog sites? I feel sorry for you. Get some counseling. Maybe if you showed some respect towards the other 50% of the population, you'd have better luck finding love.
My marriage took a lot of work, but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. If you get married, try to marry your best friend. Trust and respect over infatuation.
But hes a man
@@oftin_wong Lol. 😂
He meant female best friend. Which is difficult to have.
@@smilodon92 yes I know, my work is done
@@smilodon92 only if you're an incel.
But I still recommend love over marriage.
Conclusion: being content with what you have brings happiness.
Appreciation
Dr. Grande, my husband "fell in love" with somebody else around 2007. I said goodbye and don't let the door hit you on the way out. I have been single for a long time, and I have been much more content. I believe happiness is an illusion, but being content works for me. Thanks for your video.
I agree, I think what we think of as happiness, at least in the west, is a fleeting feeling of euphoria, it's not normal for that to last. The happiness we can realistically aim for is a peaceful contentment, acceptance of reality, and being able to find joy in everyday things like trees, flowers, birds, sunsets, friendship, kind acts, etc but instead people are conditioned to look for joy in purchasing things they don't need whenever they're feeling down. They'll forget about their new purchase in less than a month. Marriage also isn't about the initial euphoria because it doesn't last. I think many people think it is because once that feeling is gone, after say 2 years, they feel like the marriage is dead and it's time to find someone new. I would imagine that it's really about loyalty, friendship, teamwork, and compatibility in lifestyle and goals
I believe being content is the key to happiness.
Couldn't agree more with you!
Too Bad Your Husband Didn't Go MGTOW
@@mgtowp.l.7756 Men could think clearer if sex didn’t always cloud their judgement.I dated a guy for two years in that time I was diagnosed with cancer. He cheated before cancer and after. Im not the perfect woman but believe I was really good to this man! A lot of men need to learn to leave instead of cheating or like you said don’t ever marry or get serious. I never will, horrible relationships were enough for me. Plus, I likely die in the next 5-10 years.
In summary: Some benefit from marriage while others do not.
I can’t believe it’s still taboo to not get married at some point. Why is it so difficult to accept that some people don’t want to/shouldn’t get married?
Nah.
You're just a free thinker and people who have too much burden on their already weakened shoulders are just jealous/envious of that nice lush green grass on your side of the fence.
Carry on !
Culture can be a mother fucker eh
@@PoM-MoM Grass is greenest where you water it. Lots of us married people are happy and wouldn't pick another path for anything else in the world. Everyone is different.
@@brusselsprout5851
idk. I guess there are couples that are happily divorced? My friends who have divorced seemed to celebrate their finalizing of divorce then some also say how miserable they are without their ex (shrug)
I agree, especially when the divorce rate is so high. It seems like what’s the point? I’ve had people say, “But you’re pretty. Why aren’t you married?” Me: 🤦♀️ Their view of marriage is so shallow.
My parents had a wonderful marriage and they were also best friends. They were married 62 years. They had their issues but they would not have wanted to be without each other. My dad died eight years before my mother and she pretty much never left the house again except to travel one mile to get groceries. She passed away 18 months ago.
Condolences.
Good old days. The time when relationships were based on mutual respect
@ImOnIt4272 No they dont. Spend time in a nursing home, these old heffers were 304-ing back in the day hard. Stories for years. 😆
@ImOnIt4272 well yeah. A lot of men will also try to enslave or beat their wives and then wonder why they want to escape. Lol.
Humanity as a whole is fucked, but this only affects people who think someone else is supposed to make them happy.
@ImOnIt4272 Men enslaving n abusing their wives is SUPER common.
I would know, those were the most readily available, lowest hanging fruit I dated for years. Couldnt believe how many there were. Even the men who arent abusive, most dudes get bored with their wives so they neglect them. Its also why I prefer being the pool boy and not the husband. 😆
I have been with my husband for 35 years. I adore him.
no you dont
So
c;
@@christopherlabedzski7575 🤣🤣👍
Waiting on the divorce papers to happen, while I sit on the back eating my popcorn lol
I’ve never been married, never going to be, and never felt lonely about it.
What?! Not being a slave to a woman and being able to pursue what you want OR NOT isn't something you want to do? Say it isn't so! Haha..
Spent 38 years married, then she died, and I miss her, but I sold the house and everything i really didn't need, bought a small (34') sailboat and lived off my social security since. Being single I was very able to live COMFORTABLY on my SS check. Married I would still be working, at 72. So MGTOW just made me free.
So, should I say, “ good for you.”
Great for you, buddy
@Jennifer Boehm I think you missed his point. He does miss his wife, however he has realized that based on the choices and spending patterns his wife had and what he would have had to do to continue pleasing her he would have had to continue to work at age 72. Since she passed he has been able to life a much simpler and more enjoyable lifestyle which also costs much less, and also retire several years sooner. His wife would not have approved of this lifestyle, thus resulting in more hardship for him. This is one of the most important challenges of marriage. Wives want, want, want more, more, more. Men generally prefer a much simpler lifestyle. Men recognize this (even if unknowingly), where wives do not. It is a burden that wives place on husbands with little reflection of the unhappiness it creates in their husbands.
@@thebatman8895 Yet, the stay at home wife model is still one that is heavily promoted in the US and touted as the ideal. In Europe stay at home wives are extremely rare. Since we have a correct social safety net (that we pay through our taxes), women can afford to take a few months to a a couple of years off, but the vast majority goes back to work. It is not up to the husband to ensure any sort of lifestyle for the wife, it is up to both spouses to ensure the financial sustainability of the family. It is not the role of one to “please” the other, they should both “please” each other. Finally, in the current materialistic and consumerist society both men and women are encouraged to spend, spend, spend, just on different toys. In the past, that gentleman’s generation, it was indeed mainly women who were spending (their husband’s money) and most of the advertisements were geared towards women. Nowadays, this is no longer the case.
@@superasper I agree with what you are saying about the theory of marriage and what it should be. Both husband and wife should be working together toward the common goal of the success of the family in all ways (successful children, financial success, happiness for everyone in the family, etc). If implemented correctly it is the most successful form of family in so many different ways. Unfortunately, it seems marriage is being implemented in this way less and less. Wives are continually unhappy with the state of their marriage seemingly due to their unrealistically high expectations, as well as their desire to outdo their friends and acquaintances on social media.
Not sure I agree with you about advertisements these days being focused towards men these days. Where I live in Canada I rarely see any advertisements directed towards men. They are virtually all directed towards women with the standard "man is buffoon and woman comes in to save the day" type of pattern very common to see.
I think having a companion is a good compromise. You both have your own houses. You both have your own money. If you want intimacy you stay the night. If you want solitude you go home. You can be committed to each other but you each have your own space and boundaries. It works for me!
Then the economy takes a downturn, and one wants to depend on the other for resources or borrowing resources, but that's not every companion.
Works until one of you wants more. Used to see this in movies and tv shows from the 70s on.
I'm single by choice and pretty damn happy but I don't think my life is any better or worse than those who are married. Everyone is different and there's no need for everyone to pair off.
@ Thank you! I needed a good laugh!
same. I plan to never get married. if I love someone, I don't feel the need to marry them. I just want to be with them.
First marriage for my husband, and I.
We were 33 y/o, and 44 y/o, respectively, when we got married... and 12 years together now, and no regrets :)
Always followed the "philosophy", that:
As long as we are together (married), because we WANT to be, and not because we HAVE to be - then it's all good 👍🥰
Let your partner change, and grow!!
Especially if you have a child/family dynamic...
Sometimes we grow tremendously together, but we are also individuals, and it is OK for us to have individual interests, as well ♡
Much love
You know, there is something to be said about getting married later on. I see people who get married in their 30s and 40s and especially 50s and senior age and they tend to stay together for the rest of their lives.
It's the kids that get married in their 20s that seem to fall apart, usually around age 30-35 about.
I'm 28 with a 7 year old daughter, and I doubt I will ever get married. I haven't had a "relationship" in years. Dating costs money, marriage costs money, divorce and child support cost money.
MGTOW is good financially, and after some really bad relationships I'm pretty much over it.
Same boy. I'm 28, have a 4 yo daughter. Baby mama started to flake on me and lie alot. She was started monkey branching with co-workers... got rid of that shit. Funny thing is that we were engaged lol
@@kobymcqueen4601 good choice. she is just opportunistic brother. especially around things involving $$ signs
Same was told by ex I was only a sperm donor damn I got played and still paying for it.
@@zil5296 I'm very much involved in my daughter's life, but still, dating is hard as a single parent. I love my daughter, but her mother...😂🤣🙄
Brad. do you ever see your daughter?
I have been divorced twice. The thought of being married now makes me physically sick
Thank you Dr. Grande for acknowledging the elephant in the room about the fact that not all marriages are beneficial. I can tell you all about how harmful physically and mentally being unhappily married can truly be, and how as awful as the divorce made me feel, why I am happier afterwards than before getting married to begin with. There are definitely people who should not be married, and definitely people who should not be married to one another.
@Ronnie Teamwork is a great word in marriage. I've been reading all these posts ( as a Widow) and thinking "Holy Hell! Are there really that many men and women who generally greatly dislike, or hate the opposite sex?!" I was extremely blessed, but I think I'll not even go NEAR the dating thing eventually. I'll be the old Lady who talks to her dogs.
@@reneet5858 The hell are you on about? Did you try asking why they're posting negative comments? When i read these i read about guys getting screwed over in divorce, not seeing there kids and realizing they should never have gotten married. That the family court system is absolutely set to screw them over.
If you're truly analyzing these comments i don't see how you can get "this many men and w@men who hate the opposite sex". You're dumbing down the negativity to misandry and misogyny instead of looking into the problem, essentially.
@@ThatGuy-en2nn No, I honestly don't think I am. I get that there are people all over that have had horrible relationships...I was in one myself for 15 years before deciding to get the heck out, and be happy ( and not be somdone's punching bag ever again). I took NOTHING from my ex, NOTHING. And, as long as he was sober, I allowed him as much time with our children as he & them desired. I GET why their negative. However, life is short, sometimes much shorter than we expect. So, to NOT choose to be happy, and living and return those feelings to the people who give that to them, is a sad waste of life.
@Ronnie to answer your observations, I am 58, soon to be 59. I am Mother to two bio kids, two adopted kids, and 3 stepkids. Grandma to 22, ranging in ages 24 to 8. Most of the Grands are teens at this point in time. I GET that relationships are more complicated these days. That being said, I see both kinds of younger couples. The ones who truly are in it for the long haul, with both being devoted to each other, and making the other their Priority, and those that are on the other end of the spectrum ( both male & female), spoiled, selfish, self-absorbed. My Late Husband was 68, when he passed away last year, from a rare form of Leukemia caused by Agent Orange ( Vietnam).
I am content by myself, but I do miss him terribly at times. He was a great person. As for " finding other relationships", although I have been asked out by several people, all very nice guys, I am not ready ( and don't know that I ever will be) to be vulnerable in that way again. It just seems to me that many people make relationships so much more complicated than need be. And, a huge part of it seems to center around respect, and the lack thereof on both sides.
@@reneet5858 I agree. A lack of respect is a big problem.
there is no economic bennefit to mariage
kids costs money
and so does devorce
why would you get married if you don't believe in it? Marriage should mean something for the people doing it. In 2019 it has little to do with finances - that's just a technical aspect of it that can be corrected through paperwork.
kungfujoe .... IF people remain happily married, have the number of children they can afford, then marriage offers an economic benefit.
@@6fthighgetlifted "In 2019 it has little to do with finances..."
You can't be serious. And yeah, it gets corrected through "paperwork" as you say, by one spouse forfeiting assets to the other; mostly men to women. Lots of "corrections" in 2019. Endless actually...
@@RhizonXXVII then marry someone who's just as well off as you..sounds like being lazy about the legwork in figuring it out
@@6fthighgetlifted First off... Marrying someone as well of as you or even more is irrelevant. Just like who's at fault in the even of a fallout is completely irrelevant Say she makes more than you. But then you have kids or scratch that, you simply buy a house... You cheat... She cheats... Both decide to end the relationship and what not. Like I said, it doesn't matter.
You cannot settle it domestically. You want more... She wants more... Guess what? Irrelevant. Then you're off to court. And her lawyer starts intensely rubbing his/her palms. I'm not gonna go into all the cards she holds and the few that you do.
Second of all, statistically speaking women across the board marry up. Do not pretend as if I am pulling this out of nowhere. My mom married up. So did my sisters and cousins. Experience AND statistics back me up here... Marrying someone as well off as you are is IRRELEVANT. Man, this is becoming my favorite word.
I realize how much of a waste of time this is. Trying to "open your eyes." But to you they are probably already wide open.
Good Luck.
In Brazil they say, “Melhor sozinha do que mal-acompanhada.” (Better off alone than poorly accompanied.). I like that saying!
É um ditado bom, mas tem sido usado de maneira egocêntrica. Por exemplo:
Mulher conhece um cara que a traí - melhor sozinha do que mal acompanha = ok, faz sentido
Agora
Mulher conhece um cara que:
- ficou desempregado na crise
- não respondeu suas mensagens durante um certo tempo
- optou por separação de bens
- não soube como fazer alguma vontade dela, sexual ou não
- esqueceu aniversário de namoro ou bodas de casamento
- falou alto com ela irritado em algum momento
Ou seja, n motivos que não são traição ou violência e aí a pessoa usa essa frase "melhor sozinha do que mal acompanhada", é como se assumisse que só existissem acompanhantes ruins por aí
O mesmo vale para os homens. Poucas mulheres valem a pena. E as poucas que valem podem sempre escolher o cara mais rico. Assim como os caras ricos podem bancar as boas esposas enquanto se divertem com as gostosas sem valor mediante pagamento. Puro Darwin
Hmm não é meio unilateral isso ? O cara "bancar" a esposa ? Acho que as poucas mulheres que valem a pena são as que estão dispostas a crescer junto sabe, independente da renda do cara
@@fredozm Falei do ponto de vista evolutivo. Na natureza as fêmeas buscam os machos mais fortes, e os machos, as fêmeas mais atraentes. Isso não mudou um milímetro na espécie humana. A diferença é que nós inventamos um troço chamado "cultura", o que embaralha um pouco as coisas. Por causa da cultura, acontecem certos desvios, às vezes benéficos, tipo: homens não-poderosos que pegam fêmeas atraentes (devido à inteligência); ou fêmeas não tão atraentes fisicamente mas que satisfazem outros desejos de certos machos (todo tipo de fetiche e/ou necessidade emocional). E o caso mais raro de todos: homens e mulheres que simplesmente se amam. É a este caso que vc se refere? Trago más notícias. Ele é tão raro que é praticamente uma lenda. Uma lenda que movimenta toda a indústria do entretenimento (músicas, novelas, filmes, romances, etc) entre outras (psicólogos, conselheiros, religiosos, etc). Na natureza não existe amor, apenas interesse reprodutivo. As pessoas não conseguem admitir que somos apenas animais de cabeça grande
@@fredozm Isto posto, deve ser maravilhoso encontrar uma mulher atraente que mereça ser amada. Mas, infelizmente, eu sou racional: as estatísticas estão todas contra mim. Quem sabe vc tem mais sorte?
I read an article some time ago that mention that in the US divorce delegation is a 50 billion business. I think is in the lawyer's benefit for this system to remain the same.
I think it's really important to learn how to find an emotionally healthy partner so you don't end up one of the miserable millions stuck in horrible marriages.
Red Car
And you want to call someone else immature? Lol
An important factor. Unfortunately, 98% unattainable though. When women are simple- minded enough to have lots of gossiping "lady friends," they listen to, then it's only a matter of time before they take a wrong turn with dire consequences.
For those who cannot find an emotionally healthy partner, remaining single is the only sane choice. Being married for the sake of being married is a horribly bad choice to make.
Yes that's very true. It has to work both ways, and be reciprocal in order for it to work. No doubt everyone at some point will have some baggage in their life, just so long as it's not a boot load full. The problem with these millions of failed marriages is ultimately when the lust and money runs out, the rest goes out the window too. If the love outweighed any of that, then grounds for divorce would be really out of the picture.
People can change. Life is not linear. 🙂
Sharing economic resources actually means "What is mine is mine, what is yours is ours"
What we need is to teach people at a young age that we all are complete human beings we are not halves that need to “find” our other half! We can be happy single. Being single is (to a point ) more rational.
I gave up on dating entirely at 21 and never looked back. I'm 29 now, happily single, don't have sex and don't want to. I just enjoy my peace and quiet and don't want to be bothered with anyone. For me, happiness is a grilled steak and baked potato, a Diet Coke and a good movie. If you want to see me happy, give me that and leave me the f**k alone. Never was a people person.
Never considered myself alpha or beta. I'm an omega male and proud of it!
alpha male - tries to impress women with bad boy persona
beta male - tries to woe women with chivalry and/or beg
omega male - loves being single, loves being himself regardless of what anybody thinks, and willfully neglects women and sex to focus on other areas of life. It's all about living for yourself and not giving a f--k what anybody thinks about it. I love that! Also, rejecting hot women is more fun than sleeping with them anyway. Think about it, she's hot which means she's spoiled and used to having men treat her like a goddess - then I come along being the cold-hearted motherf---er that I am and act rude, stuck-up, treat her like a walking, talking piece of sh*+, and walk off feeling like a boss! I love it.
Btw, why would you respect the institution of marriage? It has a 50% failure rate. How is that something to be respected/admired?
Rather be rich single gamer male with having better job than being married and waste time.
@@bakatobijuu I wouldn't advise trying to get rich off a job. That is a very inefficient way to do it. My advice is learn naked options trading and make a fortune in the stock market. Buy calls on stocks you think will go up and puts on stocks you think will go down.
You must be sad and lonely
@@ritahall6628 No, just peaceful. I love my peace and quiet. My personal definition of happiness is the absence of stress.
I've never heard one defense of MGTOW that isn't laden with misogyny.
Smart men don't get Married.
My husband is a very smart guy. Also, I found it interesting that statistics show that those with below average IQs are 50 percent more likely to be divorced than those with above average IQs.
OP; Agreed, but when we are young the biological imperative is hard to control. That's why you see so much push towards ending birth control measures. Trap them when they are too young to know better. This is also why they baptise babies and have them swear themselves to god before they are even teenagers. It's an old, but effective tactic.
Sometimes they get gaslighted into it. Smart people fall for scams, same as others.
REAL men fight the system to change it BACK into balance -like in the 1950's.
Neither do smart women, like me.
I was MGTOW before it was cool - this guy is stating facts -
@Mystery Monk Yep - that's me - for 10 years now.
Me too 15 years
@@richgifford4032 I just woke up - I can't explain it adequately. Went full bore in my 20s - I was married, lasted 12 years, got out of it with my skin intact, but I never fully realized the consequences of a failed marriage - it's a long story. I've extrapolated my lessons from that marriage and what I've read about divorces, dating, etc. I've focused on my career - quadrupled my salary - I'm happier than I've been since I was a kid. It just is what it is, and I don't want to ruin it.
@N Silva You have a gift with words and imagery.
It's not cool. 😆😆
I'm glad I never got married or have kids and may never will get married there is no point of getting married for what
Troy, AMEN!
So
@@monalisa9636 What you mean so?
Thats a beautiful thing
You are very lucky. You don't have to marry
@@univuniveral9713 Yap
I wish you had talked about the differences between couples who remain girlfriend/boyfriend indefinitely as opposed to couples who get married.
Yes! All I know is: 20 years, same man, committed, no marriage, no kids & life is good!🥰 It's nice knowing we're both here bc we want to, not bc we have to.
In my experience, i have found quality marriages account for only one third of marriage. The rest are just a disaster waiting to happen or it is downright bad. When some one ask me why i am single, i just say at my age there is more pros at being single than with someone. I don't hate women but on the other hand you have to be realistic about what you get out of a relationship.
I am married and very lonely. If it wasn't for my adult son, I would be lost. We go and do everything together. He just said I'm his favorite person. Sounds weird but I am so blessed. He has many friends but he also makes quality time for me. I am presently married to a vulnerable narcissistic personality type. I am going through tremendous mental woe. There's an old word.
Hmmm soy de una Faccion del mgtow hispanohablante, y por lo general vemos a los estados unidos el peor lugar para casarse, pero es bueno tener otra perspectiva
Sad to say, I have witnessed more dysfunctional marriages than stable relationships.
I don’t think any intelligent person with any modicum of impartiality and integrity can gaze upon American family court outcomes, child support, alimony (“spousal support”) formulas and orders, the handling of prenuptial agreements and paternity law, and then conclude the marriage is a wise decision.
And that’s all before one even considers what life is like while married.
The notion that married people are happy and satisfied because they are not divorced yet seems more than a bit disingenuous.
mfriedrich2012 well thought out and well said!!
@M W Growing up is seeing a riged game.Saying nop not going to play that game.
@M W Man you're dumb. There many single men who live responsible lives, and men in relationships who are irresponsible. The goal of life is to be happy, anything that attacks happiness is bs.
Alimony is a sexist law.
Wow jaded much? I really don’t think that any one way is the “right” way to live but happy marriages are a thing they aren’t unicorns. No one is going to force you to commit to a relationship this isn’t the 18th century. You do you
Oops, I hit the button too soon. I'm still single at 70 and very happy.
There are no female mgtow or incell. Most unmarried women are successful, smart, attractive.
@THINK HARDER , smart response!
@@robertsmith7667 a womans greatest fear is ending up alone.their happiness only last untill she loses her physical attractiveness. After she hit the wall.shes gonna be miserable and sad.
@THINK HARDER so by that logic all MGTOWs are lonely too? lol walked into your own trap.
ur a wonderful woman go wonder woman
Better to be alone, than to be with the wrong person and wish you were.
It’s better to be alone than to be in a toxic or abusive marriage but I detect a large amount of misogyny & anger in the MGTOW movement. They are almost evangelical about it which is strange for a supposed passive “leave me alone” approach. Every situation is unique. I was in an abusive marriage that had horrible effects on me but going on 12 years in a happy marriage
I love being married, my husband is a disabled vet, and I deal with some issues with my mental health. We value each other and work together to build a future. It was heartbreaking to see how many of our army friends divorced after the deployment.
Hang on there
"High quality" marriage. That's where the guy submits to the woman and gives up on his interests. If he doesn't, he's in for a world of pain.
Been there.
For the most part, Yes.
Nah. You have to learn to negotiate.
😂
In my eyes, a high quality marriage is a true partnership, where you always have each other's backs and support each other through the tough times. Not all women are vengeful and want to turn the man they are with into something unrecognizable.
After my two marriages (still married to #2), I would never marry again, or even have a relationship with a man.
Nice...way to admit you don't like your second marriage. Godspeed to #2. He's gonna need it if you ever get the itch to take him to family court.
@@ThatGuy-en2nn My current husband has a terrible temper - everything and anything makes him explodes. He even calls our little dog a 'bitch' and he'll 'throw her against the wall' if she steps on him wrong.
@@LV-bk4it that's awful, I pray for your safety, security and peace. My dad was like that to my mom until they both died early of obesity from ignoring the issue. I hope you're able to find a way to live in peace either way, it is not healthy to live in stress and fear all the time 🙏 ❤️ 🙏
@@ThatGuy-en2nn way to live up to your name, bud... Looks life squeezed some lemons on you, might wanna make some lemonade instead of rubbing it in your eyes
@@DivineLightPaladin Thank you.
It’s odd how this video can be so scientifically informative, and include such notes as correlative vs causative variables, and so many people in the comments instead choose to talk about how “feminism” or women are otherwise at fault for the negative consequences of a bad marriage. What aspects of feminism do they believe cause this? And what of the other factors raised, such as starting wealth, mental well-being, the ways the divorced partners return to baseline, etc.
Dr Grande, I enjoy your work a lot. But I wish that the discussion here in the comments were higher quality. I really appreciate that you drew a clear line between what claims were supported and what weren’t. But unfortunately that doesn’t seem to have affected the community discussion here much.
Im 54 years old, never married, no kids. A divorced woman I met online expressed her concern that I had never been married so how could I know, understand life without ever going through a divorce. I guess I screwed up by realizing that the women I had dated and lived with and myself wouldnt have made a good enough match to have a healthy marriage. Interesting concept. I guess multiple divorces might have made me more attractive.
You had a lucky escape from that woman.Her attitude means she expected remarriage, not just a relationship. Prior marriage means you've potentially been housetrained and obedience trained, the way you'd be selecting a dog from a shelter. Gratefully wagging your tail to be given the second chance leaving a shelter(divorce parallel).
I like how you casually glossed over the financial angle. You made it sound as if the financial losses after divorce are equal to both men and women.
Imagine being held down by four individuals: Government, two law firms and relatives. Then while you are completely pinned down, your ex wife repeatedly inserts a spiked, square pole into your financial hole. Then society has the gals to expect men to just get up, dust themselves, smile and then walk along. Society is in delousional denial.
Something will have to give. Either abolish unfair divorce laws or train tik tok teenage girls to work in oil rigs and to fight the next war for you. The choice is simple. You cannot have your cake and eat it.
don't worry when the Chinese and Russians invade maybe it'll change 🤷😒
what does going to war and tiktok have to do with this, you have a point about divorce and finances, but like you add the thing about teenage girls as if its somehow relevant?
@@puketinmoarliek994 I have brought up sons and daughters in the West and the difference is like heaven and earth. I've never lost sleep over any of my daughters. Society treats them like queens and princesses and at one point I felt like a God for birthing perfect angels. Until my son's started being stretched out by school and then by society. And until I got divorce raped. I would never ask any of my son's to fight for their country because they've had a raw deal.
Marriage is not worth the risk for men. And there's NO WAY married ppl are happier. Sure it may be better *for women* for men to sacrifice their lives for women and society...but that's quite foolish, especially in this post-modern near-collapse civilization.
Fantastic point!
none of your damn business when majority of men catch on to this ideaolgy. Feminism will be out the window. not arguing ijs.
@Faster Master Blaster , good points.
What about stay at home dads
My husband laughed at this comment probably because I constently give him all my attention when it is not on the kids. Some women are capable of genuine affection and loving their husbands without bitching about anything. But then again i have nothing to bitch about. When my husband gets home from work I have something cooked for him he eats goes to bed i make sure he has time for the games he likes to play and spen time with his friends keep the house up care for the kids all i ask for is sex atleast once a week and just an hour to myself once a day. But i am sure someone will tell me how i am horrible and take to much blah blah blah. Oh and before you say anything about makup this is a snapchat photo the makup is filter. I hardly have enough cloths to make it through a week i am more focused on everyone else having what they need i almost always put myself last.
Dr. Grande,
DO NOT forget the children (both sexes) of unhappily married couples. They went through their parents' divorce. It hurt them. It made them consciously question romantic relationships. People like me want friendships with women, but not more than that. (BTW, my parents never divorced, but there was a LOT of fighting). Some people might want to stay single because their parents abused them emotionally (I think all abuse is emotional; "physical abuse" is just adding injury to insult).
Sometimes I do feel a little lonely, living so far away from my divorced siblings; I wish I could go there, but I can't right now.
There are ways single people stay happy- many practice an art form such as music, painting, or writing. I would not go so far as to say they are "married" to their hobby or pet, but if they know that that is what makes them emotionally happy (I have had the same turtle for twenty-eight years, and if some woman does not like her, tough), it should be enough, especially if they feel a marriage would take that skill away. The great Swedish mystery author, Henning Mankel, was married FOUR TIMES! What does that tell me?
Sometimes I do feel lonely, without a girlfriend or wife. But then I think "what if I were lonely in the marriage? How would I balance her and the things I love to do? Also, I hate going on vacations- another reason not to marry." I feel vacations are a time to stay home and do the things in it that you could not do when you were working. The only trip I would go on is to see my siblings (or hers?) That's it.
I know I am a bit of an introvert, and an artistic one at that. I have my piano, and my guitar. I also have some stuff on RUclips.
Do not forget the great MGTOWs in history: Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Henry David Thoreau, and George Gershwin, for example. They survived because they had what they loved: Science experiments, writing, and music, respectively.
Another reason I do not want to marry is because I love women. Understand?
(Just my perspective)
For millennials and genz, marriage quality ppl are extremely hard to find. Growing up with social media has made most ppl shallow and narcissistic, focusing on the looks wealth and status of the other person. This also leads to a lot of abandonment when u don't live up to the other person's preconceived ideals of u. So there's tons of abandonment trauma behaviors in both our generations. And so many of us were raised by divorced/single parents. I feel like so many of us don't understand how to show love in a healthy way.
ALOT of this is marginally to incredibly concentrated among certain bio-ethnocultural demographics, sectors, classes, gendered groups, et al......more than others. Don't get it twisted.
One of the most important factors to consider ( in my opinion) is your potential spouses' family. This is not talked about enough. Know this : You are not only marrying your fiancée. You are also marrying their family. For this reason, I would say the absolute [Least] amount of time for your courtship should be 2-3 years. The 2-3 years will give you plenty enough time to familiarize yourself with your spouse AND their family. Another important point to consider is interracial marriage. while the so-called divorce rate hovers at ~50%, I've heard that the divorce rate for interracial unions is higher. Whatever you do, Don't rush it ! If you get the impression, someone is in a rush to consummate things, Run like hell !
As for Men specifically, from a "cost/benefit analysis" point of view : Its just not worth it. While [I'm not a Lawyer] , from my research into this. A man in the Western world going into a marriage is going to be at a distinct disadvantage. You are entering into a legal contract that is enforced by the state. And that is not a good thing. You can lose your house, your business, and the courts can take take ~75% of your paycheck. You can be falsely accused of abuse. I've heard that in some quarters, not giving your wife access to bank accounts is defined as "Domestic Violence" As I've noted before [ I am not a Lawyer ]
In the case of this married man - together for 25 years - I care not to even imagine what life would be like without my beautiful wife, best friend, lover, and tickle-fighter. I think there is a reinforcing cycle between us that brings out the best in both of us and compensates for weaknesses we would each suffer from without the other.
You're the first marriage positive comment I've seen in two of dr grandes videos talking about mgtow. 100s of comments scrolled through.
For now, consider yourself unique.
@@willek1335 I think we established a positive reinforcing cycle right from the start, based on the fact that we each dedicate ourselves to making the other's life better, rather than worrying much about what we're each getting or to what we might each feel entitled. I have come to realise that this isn't really all that common. I personally believe that MGTOW amounts to a reflection back of percieved attitudes and expectations of entitlement. The part I'm inclined to support is what I think is legitimization of rejecting exploitative self-absorption and extreme entitlement and freedom to choose not to enter into relationships, but I certainly reject it at the extremes when people start declaring that choosing differently from them is not legitimate and that everyone in their perceived "other" group is bad. Radicalisation always moves in both directions, not just one.
Marriage is definitely way too much work , and I have enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on , so I won’t make anyone else struggle with my flaws .
Never heard someone say something like this before. Respect.
I swear, thank you so much man. I really wanna do research into this type of stuff. When I leave the military I’ll probably get a degree in psych or biology. I really want to dedicate my life to end this controversial topic m and seek the truth
Options from best to worst:
1. Happily married
2. Single
3. Unhappily married
I think a happy medium is having a gf/bf without the threat of financial ruin or lawyers destroying your life
In Colorado, if you live at the same address with a bf/gf for 5 years or more, you have to get a divorce to separate. Welcome to a life of short shack-ups.
Yeah in a lot of states living together for a couple or years makes you a married couple in the legal system.
The only solution is for you and the person you're dating to live separate for ever.
@@christinesbetterknitting4533 that’s incorrect, it takes more than cohabitation in CO to be deemed common law married
I live in Arkansas, where there is no common law marriage. I lived with a guy for over 3 years, and I was miserable! I'm glad that there's no common law marriage here, because it made it so much easier to leave!
The short term gains of marriage do not nullify the long lasting effects of divorce. Divorce rate in my state is 62%. Out of that 62% over 60% of divorces are initiated by women. You are right about mates leaving once you become seriously mentally or physically injured. Its not death due us part its i'm going to stay until its no longer convenient for me. I encourage men and women to go to your state's vital statistics website and crunch the divorce numbers yourself and then make a decision. For me, marriage is a losing strategy i'm very happy being single, i don't need someone to validate me or give me happiness. I do that for myself.
My wife is a great cook and home maker, puts up with my hunting dogs, takes care of my house when I'm gone hunting, and takes care of the house and the dogs when I go fishing. Then she cleans and cooks the animals I shoot and the fish that I catch. What's the secret? She's from a dirt poor farming family in an already poor country. This is the secret. Don't even consider marrying an ambitious woman. They're never satisfied and they're always on the lookout for a higher bid. Then you're roadkill.
I've decided to stay single for the simple fact that I don't want a man to negatively impact my life in any way. There's too many negative variables when getting into a relationship. I would rather pass.
Wisest decision you'll ever make.
I decided the same thing four years ago, all the men I dated brought with them tons of problems. Then at 27 I met a woman who really shook my world. So marriage might be on the table again. Haha it's crazy how life can be, we should all do what's best for us.
The current situation is so messed up that I'm actually surprised and impressed when I see a video by someone who has a balanced and nuanced understanding of MGTOW.
Marriage should come with a 7 year warranty n be easier to get out of than to get into. If it was harder to be able to get married I believe less people would get married n then divorced and that only the ones who truly belong together willing to fight so hard to be married truly belong together
That's a good idea. Make it harder to get married than it is to get divorced. I would still never get married but at least I wouldn't see friends rush into a marriage only to divorce a year later.
@@Barrettfloyd82 yes I seriously don’t know why it’s way to easy to get married n takes 3 years to get divorced n $30 grand. It’s ridiculous for sure
Dr. Grande, we all want simple answers to these difficult problems. Thank you for letting us know that the research has produced very complicated results and the correlation/causation data is far from resolved. I have been married 42 years to a woman who was able to commit to a relationship. We had many years of a happy marriage, had kids and had many years of a less happy marriage. We had about 4 years of a very difficult marriage where we just had to disengage from one another. I have partially retired and she has retired and I am the happiest I have been since I was 6 years old. She has reported being happy many times that I was not happy, but I tend toward depression. I would advise most people not to marry if their sole motivation is to be happy. Commitment, common interests/goals, dedication to children, ability to tolerate pain for the sake of the relationship, a sense of mission to your job. All in all this enterprise has turned out better than I could have hoped: Motivated, focused, children who contribute to their communities, many years of helping patients (my wife and myself), dear friends, a wonderful church, and a deeply satisfying spiritual life. Now if that is what you want then get married. Just saying.
“I didn’t marry him for his money. I divorced him for it.”
I've kinda involuntarily joined mgtow, nothing wrong with me other then being 5'3 which makes online dating impossible so i have to hope it happens naturally but my job consumes a lot of my time and being short also turns women off in random encounters even if your approach and confidence is good trust me. So i eventually gave up and been alone in a 3 bed 2 bath house for 9 years now, its not that bad and i'm better off then all my friends.
@Baird- Keep doin' your thing, bro. I'm married, & it ain't something that really makes me happy. It won't make you happy either.
I'm a 6'0 tall mexican woman and I also have trouble dating since most men in my country are short. I get you.
Better to live healthy by yourself then to live sick with someone else. I believe it was a Dr Phil commercial years ago for an upcoming show of his when I first heard this saying. Although I am not a fan this did become my mantra while going through my very long divorce. Meaning it's never good to be in an unhealthy relationship.
"Women initiate 70% of divorces and afterwards are more likely to not remarry." I wonder how much of that is due to trauma caused by the marriage due to violence? Experiencing that will make a person much less likely to want to go through it again.
THIS I agree with. No woman should stay with a physically abusive husband or put up with infidelity. But sadly, this isn’t the main reason women terminate marriages and relationships. The number 1 reason is “dissatisfaction”. Which is unfair. Why commit to such a fickle creature?
AWALT. So answer is NO. Marriage is not rational.
No, the answer is for some it is rational. For some it is not.
@@Government-is-slavery Nope, you're wrong.
My complements Dr. Grande, this was an extremely well prepared and well executed lesson/gift to public discourse and knowledge. I am super enriched and impressed with what you are sharing here. Thank you.
people that are married are happier for the short term
"The Seven Year Itch" - - good movie. It has Marilyn Monroe and a happy ending, and it's funny.
Seems that by the doctor's own admission in this video, there are just as many studies yielding anti-marriage results as there are pro-marriage, so marriage in and of itself is no different than gambling on the Las Vegas strip. Well, one huge difference is that if the house in Vegas operated on a 50% failure rate like marriage does, every casino would go out of business!
You mean I'd have a 50% chance of winning every time? I'd only have to play two slot machines and cash out LOL
They don’t necessarily avoid relationships, they avoid marriage.
Why get married to a state? I believe in happily fulfilling relationships, but skip the legal troubles.
How can a person love a mill stone around there neck? You don't need to be married and have kids to validate your existence or define you as a person. You can choose to define yourself and pursue your own goals. You don't owe society anything, because everything society does "for you" is actually done for itself.
You'd be shocked how amny men still love being a woman's private wage slave and believe it's a "man's duty". Mostly tradcucks still believing the 50's are coming back.
I avoid marriage and romantic involvement. Depending on your goals in life marriage maybe rational or not. I like not being married.
If the measure of people who want to be married and they are not happy, then it most likely would follow their mental health would suffer.
I have never married or desired it. I don't think I have schizoid tendencies. They should study happy singles. :)
(Not that you need my opinion but what the hay)
You're just fine. Carry on. 🙂
I love how British people say Carry on.
To men: NEVER let the state in your relationship. That's the statistically defendable better bet in that gamble.
The government is wicked.
The government is like the matrix, you cannot deal with it or run away from it, it is at the oxygen that you breath, only the chosen one can change the matrix to suit for the men and women to be happy again, to be free. But the chosen one doesn't exist :)
Thanks Dr Grande really appreciate this video it’s hard being a young man and trying to find the truth behind being single and being married
The risks vastly outweigh the rewards, at least from a man's perspective. If the marriage doesn't work out, the man walks away broke and broken, the woman walks away with cash and prizes.
You live in lala land, most women make their own money and many walk out of a marriage abused or dead. My dad kept the house after divorce and got all courts on his side to continue abuse my sister and me, it took years to get a restraining order. Many courts approve violent men access to kids and I know many cases where men used so called father right movement to simply kill their own kids out of hatred the woman left him. Kids and women's risks are surviving.
Even women who do work during the marriage see their income drop by 20% once they are divorced. Men, on the other hand, experience a 30% increase in income, on average, after a divorce. The poverty rate for women who are separated or divorced is 27%. This is nearly three times the figure of separated men. Many women struggle with the fallout of their divorce years and even decades later. Why? Cause women do most of child raising, house hold tasks.
Sounds good and all till you get divorced which your chances of not getting screwed isn't that high.
No marriage for me. Been single like forever, and I love it🥰
The 6 sixes women look for in men: 1) 6 figure income 2) 6' + height 3) 6 pack abs 4) At least 6 months since his last relationship 5) 6 00 HP car (or 6 year college degree (Masters Degree) 6) 6" plus below the belt. What a lot of women actually bring to the table: 1) 6 figures of debt 2) 60 lbs overweight 3) $600 car 4) On 6 psyche meds 5) 6 illegitimate kids 6) By 6 different fathers
Delusional much? 😂🤣😂😜😆
Marriage is One Year of Flames and Twenty Years of Ashes.
Very interesting, Dr. Grande, and well done. Thank you. I've been married for 35 years and still really like my partner most of the time. 🙂 At 21 I didn't even think through all these variables and choices. I'm glad the marriage option has worked for us. (Or: we have worked on our marriage option)
"For example, better mental and physical health, increased happiness, and better economic position." Sure, so as long as 20 years down the road she doesn't decide to divorce you and wreck your finances and life.
Yes he's giving an analysis only of successful marriages there. That's called survivorship bias.
@Old Skool Bodybuilding Routines That's why spoiled feminists like the "fairy tale wedding", they know it's an illusion and benefit from it.
Marriage compels you to get a better job and work harder, but who says that is what you wanted to do with your life? There are many people who work so much they hardly see their kids, and take up jobs they despise so they can support a family.
“I love you so freakin’ much.......let’s get the government involved so you can never leave me.”
- Random internet fella
Married guy here. I was more happier when I was single. Please I’m on my knees begging single guys out there, you don’t want this. DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!
As Billy Joel said “it’s either sadness or euphoria”
And I have never been a fan of roller coasters, especially emotional ones. That's but one reason why I'm MGTOW.
I've NEVER seen that marriage he's talking about. In what world do women pay for their fair share of everything? This man is JOKING
Are married people better off?
If you're a woman, YES!
If you're a man HELL NO!!
That's been proven in the comments. Women are so happy being married, men the opposite.
Basically, marry someone who makes you happy and you’re good.
touche. hard to find though. gotta be happy with your self first or you'll never be happy with another!
Rookie mistake. People often go out of their way to make you happy when they're trying to get on your good side. What's more, people tend to trick themselves into thinking they're more happy than they really are, because it's easier than facing the fact that your relationship is going down the drain.
If you let your emotions guide you, they'll lead you off a cliff.
Divorce laws don't favor men. The good Dr.. does not mention this. And the cash and prizes most divorced women receive. Expensive Alimony and irrational child support. Come on.. get real.
The key is to marry the right person with the right qualities: kind, compassionate, loving, and committed, among others. But, you must also bring these qualities to the marriage to make it work.
A comprehensive analysis of the research findings. It most accurately details the variables of being single and married. There are pros and cons to all things in life. Also, there is not a one size fits all approach to relationships and anything else for that matter. Bottom line: Do what really makes you happy. Not what others feel that you should do. And if your desires change, then, go with that as well.
I’m a woman who chose celibacy twenty years ago as I began to see men act more and more childish and irresponsible. I’m not sorry for my choice. I’m rich now because of it.
@@yourgooglemeister6745 😂😂😂
Thanks Dr Grande! A most interesting video indeed!! Some of your findings don't surprise me, especially in regards to happiness & health!
Until your most recent video discussing this men's movement, I hadn't heard of it, nor the reasonings behind it. What ever makes us all happy, I guess 😀
"Better to be happily single than unhappily married". I agree with this comment 100% I glad I not only person saying that as I said this quote myself to others
Thank you. I have never heard a professional describe why and how being single can be fine for a person.
Tangent alert... Maybe that is why words like "spinster" aren't used anymore. There isn't a male version of that word is there? More stigma for being a single female? I have noticed that there have been some highly intelligent, professional women in history who never married. I wondered if their focus in life and happiness was just on other things and not that they were a tragic "spinster." They seem to have been highly accomplished people with interesting lives. It is tough when a lot of a female's worth and celebration are in her role as wife and mother only.
I don't need celebration. 🙂
I think a male equivalent to spinster was "confirmed bachelor" which was often a euphemism for homosexual. I do dislike the negative way people look at women that choose to remain unmarried. I live a MGTOW life and believe that women should have a similar mindset.
What about the word bachelor ? 🙄
Joy Full neither word is hardly used anymore, so what are you crying about ? .
Joy Full Duh ! , maybe because the OP didn't know there was a name for unmarried men and I'm smart enough to know that there is a word for it , and now you're crying because you don't like the woman's name for unmarried women 😪