Why being great parents but bad lovers will cost you your marriage. The do’s and don’ts | LNN
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- Have you ever wondered why most affairs will happen after childbirth or why many people will pay attention to their newborns and completely ignore or forget their partners ? Ever heard of being great parents but bad lovers and can children affect your marriage ?..
Well, worry no more.
Today’s episode of LNS, Rebuilding series handles the tough conversation around marriage and parenting , the do’s and don’ts and how to make it work
#LNN #LNSRebuilding
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Today's show topic is on point. 43yrs successful marriage with all grown children, Lynn I can attest to this statement of fact. Thank you for bringing this couple back to impact the society more. Their first show with those nuggets of wisdom profoundly brought out by one great husband, spoke truth to men and women across the globe just like today's show has done.
Couples, Lynn's show brings out great men and women that have walked the journey of life, made mistakes and emerged successful. The experiences they went through to perfect their purpose speaks to you and me, especially those still parenting. I am already done on succesiful parentng with grand children, almost matching to great grandchildren but still listens to every Lynn shows daily, learning one or two things. I believe, the single, newly married and those in advanced stages of marriage benefit more. Guys, marriage works and the fact that yours has challenges or didn't work doesn't invalidate that fact. There are steps you can take to make yours work. As therapists and or life coaches, we coach and counsel many that are experiencing marriage challenges and they get back to form. It is doable guys.
On the issue of "being great parents but bad lovers that might cost your marriage", Lynn allow me to speak from 43yrs of marriage, kindly. This is a statement of fact because, entering a marriage depends on the couple's purpose in their marriage. If the two do not speak from the same wavelength and or, their intentions for getting married were founded on wrong intentions, the topic then speaks direct to their cause. Let me qualify my affirmation.
1. Just like you are at the single stage, you make your own decisions and suffer the consequences of the same. In marriage an opinion is validated by two individuals not one. "The two have become one unity".
2. Marriage involves probable 3rd party(children) and 4th party(House manager). The two parties have to be prepared for this setting which then means, the roles may tilt to conform to that arrangement. The effect is that that lovey-dovey syndrome is affected. You MUST be prepared and INTENTIONAL to cope with such delicate situation lest chaos happens.
3. Once a 3rd party emerges, tye woman's roles increase as the order of life that the man has to train himself on how to adjust. Bed matters get affected first because of healing and secondly because of the attention the wife gives to the child and other home chores. It is inevitable that the man adjusts to be able to support the wife's cause and support her fully towards the realisation of those emerging roles. Less that, the man may be tempted to look elsewhere which then might kill that love relationship from within. "Till death do us part" comes out clear at this stage.
4. Marriage is the institution the only institution that change the way we look in both physical and mental if you may. Physical because once a woman gives birth, her body changes not necessarily for bad or for good but transitionally. Carrying a baby is not easy just like rearing that child to adulthood is not a mini achievement. Stomach elasticity and compressibility can change someone's form. That is a stage in a woman's life for them that shall be blessed with children. A man in her life cannot expect to be seeing same woman throughout their marriage journey, this then calls for understanding and appreciation from the husband's point. What I am simply saying is that marriage is an institutional phase that calls for understanding but not a cause to ignite friction. The two parties should understand this.
5. Bed matters delay. A woman that has given birth should be given time to heal. The man in this relationship needs to understand this and instead offer maximum support to his wife. A new creature(child) is a blessing and that moment of excitement is supposed to affect both the man and the woman involved. This then means readjusting your priorities to accommodate the kid. In essence it means bed matters shift to child attention and often it blends effectively guys. I have been there and perfected it.
Ladies and gentlemen, many out here are great parents but bad lovers because the parties never learned or trained themselves on how to blend the two effectively to the end. At this point is where cheating happens especially for the weak. This is a learning forum where you don't get a degree but you gain much more than PhD certificate. Try looking at Lynn show from that lens and see what will happen to your life.
My take home from today's show is that "marriage still works in this generation "
We appreciate you❤❤❤
Lovely. Indeed intriguing shows. I've been married for only 2 years going 3, have a 1 year old son and a demanding career. I love listening/reading marriage related topics. Waah, God has helped us a lot too. Mmmh learning, indeed our marriages will work. Thank you!
@@balancedviewpoint7418 this is a whole Positive Novel. You need to be in Lyn’s show. 43 Yrs of marriage is not a joke. All is well put,, thank you so much.
Woow well articulated thank you
Lynn thanks for bringing them back they were amazing ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Cheating is a choice doesnt matter if th man feel neglected after woman gave birth or not..cheating is a dealbreaker once th trust is gone s gone forever😢..good convo❤
I live in Germany & when I got my kids there was no family to come to my assistance. My family is in Kenya & my in-laws live 700 km away. It was just my husband & I. Fortunately hubby helped with everything & was understanding & patient. He helped deliver the babies & held them in his arms even B4 I did. He always cuddled them from the beginning, so bonding was never an issue. In the west, we don't have househelps. He cooked & cleaned without a 2nd thought, so I never felt neglected. The problem with men at home is that children & housework are (still) women's business; and her birthing health probems are hers alone. This is archaic. My brothers, please change this ancient attitude. Failure to that, there'll be no wonder that marriages are doomed 😮
U have a point
Wow you are blessed. Is your husband also Kenyan? The average Kenyan man has not been raised doing house chores equally with his sisters and mother, most times because there is a house manager, so even when they get married they still expect to be done for everything
What I'm learning about why "your marriage is more important" is because the children use that marriage as a benchmark for their future relationships. The marriage has to be exemplary.
I'm so attentive!!
Can this whole convo be on TV in Kenya for a week or so! Like this is a conversation that should be heard really by the masses, absolutely loved it!
This man needs to appear on billboards l. hope he does speak in marriage conferences.People normally praise their spouses for gifts but a man who empathetic and sympathetic is way far.
Pastor Peter (Very smart leader) was my School Captain when I was in form one in HighSchool. God bless your work Lynn! This Family is blessed!
Ah you're from Ditchez too, so am I
My husband was a ditcherian too. He told me about him being a captain.
@vincentcastiel3665 yes yes. Finished in 2009.
@@Mercy-qm1ju awesome!!
I was in Buruburu Girls and we had very many events with Ditchez..esp in the C.U I was wondering where might I have seen this man.
I'm a girl who's yet to get married and settle then get babies eventually God willing and I'm so glad I've come across this sort of conversation today because kids in my marriage has been this constant worry in my mind cause I've been like what if i get babies,will I stop loving him? Will he stop loving me and start seeing me differently blah blah blah and having watched this I'm glad to say that I'm relieved because I've learnt how I'm supposed to manoeuvre around my marriage and my kids in future God willing. This is such an insight to and for me. Thank you Lynn for your guests. I've learnt a lot
This was and is my exact dilemma before I got married and even now that I'm married and expectant.. for sure this conversation is eye opening.
No matter what you do,put God in the equation , he is the equalizer.
THIS IS RIGHT!!!!
that thing about society rallying behind a woman is so true. Also, i now understand how my husband, my brother and my dad became so close after we became parents. when the women came to stay with me through my NICU struggles, these men also came and stayed home with him for 2 months (they changed shifts). They cooked for him and took him out to play darts and even gave him money when he was in a deficit. His friends always mistake them to be his biological dad and brother nowadays
Beautiful thanks for sharing 🙏
Fantastic ❤ 🎉
I love this couple. The wisdom they have is great. Lynn thank you for all you do. Please bring them back. Exceptional.
This is great and very helpful but its unfortunate am a victim and my marriage is all gone.we are two strangers in the same house raising children as if its ajob weve been given to do. I hope God changes everything for us. Its so much pain.
May your marriage be restored in Jesus name.
I feel you.May God shun light in your life.
Sending you light and healing
Hugs girl
I pray that God see you through
Push n May God who ordained it work it out through you 🫂
One think I have learn from both partners , they are both good listener, they listen to each other.
We don't need to fight but to work on our disadvantages.
Love is actually going when we work things out for the sake of love ❤🙏🙇 may God bless their union 💕🔥👏
My Note-Book Is Present. Listening…The Amazing Couple, Just Like The “ KYENGO’S”.
I love this couple.They are very knowledgeable and also balance it with vichekesho. I'm tapping into that kind of love.
They can keep coming to the show, and we will also follow them in their socials.
When it's all said and done, you are as good as the quality of your relationships and how much you've invested in those relationships.
Powerful
Watching this couple is an eye opener. I know I'll marry and my prayer is I will be with a man whom we'll appreciate each other and be willing to grow together. Build each other and many more. So thanks Julie and Pete
Awesome, seeing you guys. It's true marriage works and when you build it on God it works. I pray God would help this generation learn this they are still good men out here
I needed this now more than ever before. my marriage is almost dying
Hello 👋 LNN community
Happy to see you again on the show Mr and Mrs Kariuki
We are as good as the quality of relationships we have.
I have given my husband 100% room to be a Dad and have seen it work well❤
Heartwarming session. Thanks❤I think on the point of conflict, we may need to teach kids to resolve it, even by role play, if you prefer. I say so respectfully because kids who’ve never seen parents ‘fight’ can also grow up thinking there are no fights/conflicts and get surprised when they show up in their marriages. It ends up taking a while for them to adjust and learn how to resolve their own marital conflicts. They do so well but a quantum leap through parental example is always welcome. God bless you guys
What a coincidence
Last night I came to the realization that I come second to my husband. Our son comes first. That was painful because I thought we had a life before him and will be left alone when he leaves to start his life. I wish he would see this. I feel bad competing with the innocent boy and I don't want to cheat. It sucks
@@lilywhite8029 address the issues existing in your relationship and all shall come back to normal. I speak to you from 43yrs marriage experience, life coaching and therapist profession. Wish you well
You need to have a talk with your husband. He seems to think a wife is not important & not necessary & that he can replace you like a battery 😢. He is either very traditional & old-fashioned (macho), or he doesn't really love you & plans to abscond one day 😢. Just look for an opportune moment to discuss the issue with him. Start the conversation quietly, politely, & cautiously. You could say; "I’d like to ask you something you said that really hurt me and has been bothering me. Please don’t get angry. Just hear me out first & tell me politely what you think". Let him know excatly how he makes you feel with his attitude.
These are the men like Kanyarī who treat their wives badly & are surprised when she suddenly finds a loving amazing man. Sasa kanyari ana jiongelesha fogothary coz he's down at the bottom while Betty is being loved 🤣🤣
I feel you gal.. I do
Give the mirror a break.
@@emmsyoung3541 Oooh I'm so sorry
It shall be well. We will one day find a man who values his woman and loves her unconditionally. Sending my 🤗
Your fulfillment in life is tied to the the quality of relationships that you have, the low the quality of your relationships that you have, the less fulfilled you’re in life . Lynn may God continue blessing you and your team for sure you have done a great job in impacting our lives we keep learning each and every day.
May God bless ur union, marriage was ordained by God 🙏it's easier, happily married or happily single
Wow... I love the challenge. Let's lift each other up, there is already too much trouble in the world. Lovely couple, very encouraging. They are very authentic. God Bless you.
I watched their 1st story and it really changed my marriage.todays story has taught me alot .I will definitely rewatch it with my spouse and see how we will take care of our VW car❤
All smiles on my face..Welcome LNN Residents...Asanti
This interview was so much needed, thank you so much for the guest’s candidness.
Learning New Things Always In This Marriage Segment. About Eating Together As A Family,Is Fun n Loving. I Can Attest To This Coz My Kids Feel Uncomfortable To Eat Without The Dad Being At Home When Food Is Ready. They Would Even Call, To Ask Whether We Wait For Him. This Narrative That People Put, “Aty Siwezi Ngoja Mtu Ati Ndio Tukule”, Doesn’t Work In Mine n I Say “MINE”. Lyn Thanx,,, Now You Can Say,, You Have A Partner,, Wow❤❤❤
Everything who is reading this comment may God bless you and may you never lack in Jesus name🙏
Amen
Amen
AMEN!
Amen
Amen 🙏
This topic speaks it all ❤I’m grateful growing up in a loving family my dad n mum were always there for us with my brothers and we had a good relationship all together till now we are in our 30s n 40s May God Bless my grandma and late grandpa for giving me caring parents
I’m here now in my marriage I pray to give best for me and my spouse and best for my kids.
These topics are healthy
Marriageworks and love is a beautiful thing❤
Beautiful couple 🎉
Thank you Lynn, on point. Niko na suggestion, kuwe na kakeyboard, that angelic music background. But you are really blessing our souls
With such conversations, marriage sounds sweet. Manifesting for one
"We are as good as the quality of relationships we have"......Amennnnnnn!!!
Fact
This couple is such a blessing. Mungu awazidishie🙏🙏🙏
Thanks to the young man speaking openly and truthfully. You are blessed
The power of multiplication.....let's inpire our generation..thanks guys
what a joy, always learning. thankyou lynn you are a gift to our generation.
Kariuki family you're amazing with beautiful mind for our nation ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ am Ugandan but learning alot from Lynn show❤❤❤❤❤❤
Great video. This comes from intentionality from mature people. Thanks for sharing ❤
Very educational. May God continue to bless this couple as they grow in their marriage.
May God bless me with such an understanding and God-fearing Man!! 🙏
i admire the way Peter honours the power in a woman
This has been an amazing conversation. Thank you Lynn for bringing Pst Pete and Julie on this episode😊
An eye opener in marriage. A must watch.
I think if a man cant man up to be in this together it cant work since children are for both of us and u have families who are far not in a position to have a househelp dont u know what happens to the wife true wife even suffers atleast the whole day u are working and meeeting people and friends out at work and me am all alone without help from anyone anyway God help us some of us have been all alone and be in control of everything
me i love being alone. for me the downpoint is the fact that after I became a mother, its like i was expected to mother his siblings too. something that never happened for the 8 yrs before we became parents. i just had to be a bad in law because i wanted to figure out and enjoy motherhood in peace
Powerful conversation don't just watch 😂 and go inspire the society and people around you 😂 that 💯 Power talk the kariuki enjoyed it all❤
The conversation it was so amazing honestly I learn alot marriage it's not easy ❤
Thank you for bringing this family back they are so inspiring ❤ please bring Benjamin zulu global to this interview please
I concur..
Powerful conversation don't just watch 😂 and go inspire the society and people around you 😂 that 💯 Power talk the kariuki
Good morning team LNN
What else would you want Pete and Julie to talk to us about?
Engage them via their social handles;
Instagram: iamjulie.k and Pete.kariuki
TikTok: iamjulie.k and Pete.kariuki
RUclips here www.youtube.com/@iamjulie.k
Their website www.ruachsouth.org
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Thank you for watching ❤❤
Fantastic job Lynn
This is what I was looking for sikuskia vizuri, subscribed already
Oooohh my God. Thank you for this wisdom from this power couple❤
I love the kariuki's soo much they are so real and they teach us with their own life experience thanks lynn ..a request please bring someone to talk about how to do long distance relationship's....i will appreciate
Awesome episode to both Lynn and today's guest. Thank you
When there's peace in a marriage, then it can be more important than the kids coz, the kids need a conducive environment for both physical and mental growth, but when one or both of the Partners are Not peaceful, then my kids would be more important than that marriage.
Lynn 🎉haki You almost Fell down kucheka naye😂😂thats why all of US loves ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊
Nimecheka jamani, but this is very much a story i and many can relate to.
Those who have not been there please be patient with each other and support each other as much as possible. Sio kupends kwa anyone please
Thank u lynn, pete and julie always learning alot from which is so true but like u said its team work i love how determined u are for ua marriage and we wish most of our partyfeel the same blessing
Wow 👌 the love comes first❤❤❤❤God Bless this family really enlightening our Generation
The best thing marriage is a choice but love hurts and make someone change 💔 I never get there again.
Happy for them keep winning my rib cooked soup
Greatly inspired by the lessons from this wonderful couple. Thank you Lynn. 🎉
Wow.. deep conversation.. thank you for the reminder.
Thank you for being open and honest🎉🎉, long blessed life.
Wonderful conversation. Please Lynn get someone to talk about parenting teenagers, because hiya huku Diaspora kimeturaba😢but God is faithful.
Not just diaspora but even here at home
Wueh its very very hard but God will send a spirit to guide them according to his will❤
In diaspora you should to talk WITH your children, not talk TO them. In ulaya you cannot be a dictator to your kids, you're their friendly counsellor. Respect them as human beings, not as minors. Children in the west have so many rights. Let them know what your fears are, & why you have a certain attitude. Failure to create an atmosphere of 😅open & friendly communication will give you blood pressure for nothing. You can't change teenagers by force, you have to change your approach. That's how I survived my children's teenage-hood 😂. Believe you me & thank me later 😍
Wisdom, am taking notes before I get married.😊
These guys constantly make me wish that hata mimi Mungu akibariki wengine with beautiful marriages, hata mimi anikumbuke. Juu wueh....ni kama nilisahaulika kabisa.😂😂😂😂😂With someone who is woke. Thank you, team LNN.
@@candidajamesa5650 God has already heard your cries the only thing left is you to work from inside-out (internal locus of evaluation) and pap!! ...all is done.
Pia wewe moyoni mwako ujiandae kuwa wife material,. Shida mtu hutaka husband material likini yeye siyo wife material 😅
It takes a lot of effort, sacrifice and understanding to make it work
@balancedviewpoint7418 you make it sound so simple.
@damariszuckschwert9489 mimi ni wife material my friend. Ni vile nimekuwa nikikutana na magwangi😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Totally agree abiut this conversion.I read a book' who will cry when you die'. It summaries this conversation
Beautiful couple with inspiring words of wisdom any other topic we can relate to,please don't hesitate to bring them back Lynn,as always amazing show❤
This depends with family infidelity its personal and a decision one makes some cheat even if u give them every day so marriage is just God's work some men they are just there they dont even support ubin anyway but concern of themselves it becomes hard
Thank you so much peter and Julie 👍
It's inspirational and I do inspire using Lynn stories
Hae Lynn am here love this couple
Continue doing go what u do
Wow I leaned much thank you family 😊 may God 🙏 bless everyone in Jesus name 🙏
This was such a real episode. I co-sign everything they said!
I just love love ❤❤❤🎉🎉this
Team Lynn OYEEE 🎉🎉🎉
Lynn please bring Lsk president faith Adhiambo.
Some women have to do both the nurturing and the providing without support from the babies' fathers. And you are in the same house. The dude is just there, telling you you are not the first woman to give birth😢🙏
Surely marriage works
My marriage broke up 1 year after giving birth.
I really changed. Changed, and no one understood me kabsa. I used to cry, cry, cry. Kutoka kukaingiwa immediately. I am here trying to heal😢
Also, thank you for not speaking in swahili the whole time...we from other countries can tap into this wisdom too!!
This is very true, thank you Jesus ❤
Learning so much.... Thank you Lynn and the couple
Thank you for the enlightenment. This was powerful
Wee she just said the truth,yani the feeling kabisa.
CAN YOU KINDLY LOOK FOR BRITTON NYAGA and MERCY BRITTON.They are also a great couple.Their marriage is beautiful.
God bless this couple. Thank you Lynn.
Not more important. Those are 2 very different aspects of family life which are mutualy exclusive
Hapo not knowing on maandamano is a lie u hide them in ua house but when they go to school they get the information but in a different way they need to know from parents and also they need to know that life is not as u portray goooood wah marriage is complicated it needs team to work
Dont be so focused on raising your children, their activities and being the perfect mother, that you move your marriage to the back burner of the stove. You don't want to someday have empty nest and empty marriage
My deraz were just chillin
The lady said something impt......
It is sad that something which was or should be normal is not
Absolutely not children are the most important thing.
So, for those that donot have children, what then? Does it mean they are not husband and wife? The marriage institution was and is first husband and wife, then the gifts ......children. Even in material thinking, gifts acquired can never be at the same level as the giver!!!!!
Ladies lets not teach our husbands how to be good fathers lets live them to do it the best way they can
Morning but my children come first for ever and ever .
They are my blood.
They will leave and what next?
A godly,responsible and wise woman knows that a man and kids have equal priority in a functional home.
It depends on the foundation of your marriage. If it is biblical, solid Christian foundation, prayed and fasted for confirmation of a souse plus and you did not sin together before marriage then that foundation is solid and will stand the test of time. If not, the foundation is rocky and the marriage is bound to collapse when storms hit. Most people just found themselves married to the wrong person because they missed the biblical order of how to get the right spouse so in such marriages children will always come first before the spouse and such marriages do not survive when the children leave the nest if not earlier
@@wanjafaith if their is no love,the marriage is doomed.If love fades and friendship fades the marriage is doomed.
Am glad you brought them back
Watching and reading comments ❤
Am so happy for Julie. Back in school we used to call her Julianna
Yes government name
I remember you
Am so so so happy for you. At least we ni celeb unatamba watu. Enjoy every blessing!!
I never any one except my parents and sisters
Good morning team Lynn tuned in