hi verified creator i dont know who posted this comment a minute ago and is currently the first comment (not including the pinned post) on newest first
@@dumaass _"Potter, " Dumbledore said calmly, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die. -- I've lost my leg."_ Why did they skip that in the movie adaptation!?!?
every once in a while i think about this one time when i was at least 7-8 and i wrote my mom a “grocery list”, all it said was “all the fruits goodbye” probable some of the most poetic words i’ve ever written
that whole thing is honestly full of pretty good lines! "they tell tales of your beauty, but really it's just the way you are" is probably my favourite
When I was 5, I “wrote” a story that I was very proud of, and asked my kindergarten teacher to read it. She sat everyone down on the carpet do so in front of the class while she sat in her rocking chair, and I stood next to her, in front of everyone. She seemed very excited to read it, and so was I. Then she opens it. Her face falls, and I get concerned. I don’t know what’s wrong. Apparently, all the “words” I had written were just scribbles. Not even illegible kindergarten-handwriting, I mean literal wavy lines. The kind you make to _imitate_ writing. I was so embarrassed, and surprised, like I didn’t know I had done that. I genuinely thought I had been writing and was shocked to see I hadn’t. I don’t remember what the heck I thought I was writing, but I do remember it was on a hot pink sticky-note pad and had at least one drawing of a horse.
Aw that's kind of adorable in a sense - kids sometimes don't know the difference between pretending to do something and actually doing it. My little cousin used to bring us papers where he'd written a bunch of letters in a row (he knew some letters, but didn't know how to spell), and he'd ask us to read them to him. I think he thought he might have actually written something, but he needed us know what he'd written. My older cousin (probably about 6 or 7 years old) dutifully read out every line for him no matter how many times he asked, phonetically. Even though it was all nonsense. XD
@@Jupiter-T My little sister would write like that. She only knew v, i, and o, because those were in her name, and some of the v's looked like u's, so many of her notebooks were filled with "viovio vi vio uivuio vuioio vio"
Sounds like a lot of autistic kids I've met who don't understand how to convey emotions yet. Statements of fact work better. Source: me being an autistic kid who also did this shit
When I visited my old home I saw a book I wrote when I was 6/7 and I saw in my terrible childish handwriting that still hasn’t changed yet: “Horrid Henry is armed and ready”
I remember when I was a lot younger and my autism was still undiagnosed I wrote a story in one of my journals about a little girl (definitely not me) who was “socially disabled” and everyone hated her and I think the story ended with her dying alone but I don’t remember. Anyway that was interesting to find a decade later 😅
I wrote a story called "Toad in Jail" when I was like 8. Its a picture book with Toad from Super Mario having a bunch of dead bodies in his house. And then the whole fucking government shows up with a swat team. And he gets thrown in a jail cell. Yeah I started medications at 9 if you were wondering
When I was 7, me and my sister sang something called The Toilet Song that we made up. If went like this: "Standing on the toilet" "Nice and tall" "Dancing on the toilet" "Nice and tall" "And then you fall in" "SPLASH" "Splash" "splash"
I had to write a fact book about lions in class once when i was 6 or 7. I spelt lions as "Loins". Example of this was "A lot of male loins have lots of hair, it is called a mane"
when I was a kid I found a vhs tape at our house labeled "The Loin King" and when I asked to watch it my mom had to explain that it wasn't the movie I thought it was. all I knew was that a loin was a body part so I asked if it was a horror movie and she said yes. I imagine she gave my dad a talking to later about leaving his porn sitting out
About a month ago I found a story book I wrote for my sister when I was 10. It was about a giraffe named George who sold every kind of gun in the world and one day a glue gun malfunctioned and shot him in the neck which made his neck permanently stuck in a squiggly shape. The other giraffes bullied his so relentlessly for it that he moved away and joined the circus. The best part is that I was severely dyslexic as a child, so I spelled 'giraffe' differently every single time I wrote it. The book's title read "Gorge the Genrare" and the following are all of my attempt as spelling giraffe: Genrare, Genraf, Grafe.
Well I once wrote a story (age 5-6) about “Bab the plecmn”. Took now-me a week and three illustrations of a man wearing blue to figure out that- _oh!,_ Bob is a _policeman…_
Interesting. Most people who would give WWE wrestlers fantasy crossover companions would choose Pokémon; they’re much easier to match to a character gimmick, like Gym Leaders.
when I was like 5 I read a book called walk two moons (excellent book btw) but the main character got into an argument with someone and she drew a picture of them hanging by a noose in a tree, which started the most demented habit of mine that got me psychologically evaluated at 8 after my mom found a box of like 3 notebooks full of drawings of people hanging in trees 💀
when I was 8 or 9 I wrote a story about a half man, half chicken hybrid. He was gifted a chicken as a pet but ended up marrying her instead. Truly a literary masterpiece. It was illustrated too
When I was pretty little, my Grandma made up these stories about a character called Sammy Seagull for me. There was a LOT of lore, including immortality orange juice (of my invention) and Sammy’s delinquent, dumpster-diving cousin, Lester. When we went to their vacation house together in the summer for a bit every year, I sometimes got to help make up the stories. And one time, when we had gone home for the summer and they hadn’t yet, I decided to make a Sammy Seagull story all by myself for her, maybe as a surprise (I don’t remember). I wrote it in a Disney notebook, and it’s still in the basement to this day. It’s only a page long, and in it, Sammy, his wife, Shelly, and probably some of their children go to rescue some seagulls from this monster. Pretty standard stuff, right? But when they get to where the monster is, the seagulls have already been eaten, so they just hold a memorial service. THAT’S HOW IT ENDS. I quite literally couldn’t hurt a fly as a child, I do not know where this came from, but I think about it at least once a month
Whenever my brain forces me to think a fanfic or something, [usually just rain world, warrior cats, nicos nextbots (yes, my sanity has been destroyed a long time ago), slime rancher cat edition, or whatever you'd call a fiction where there are four gods and they are all kittens], I always have to sit through my mind creating at leat one heartbreaking lore point every 10 'chapters' (I cannot define chapter in this context anymore) I would not hurt a slug in an emergency, yet whenever my brain sends me yet another piece of fiction of its own creation it is cursed, heartbreaking, complex, and cursed fanfic Or at least, my mind only sendimg me those when it is done listening to Rally up by Grioten and xi$ow for the 2h47m it always takes for the music to stop and hopefully give me a little time to focus on the latin text I am trying to translate
I wrote a short story in class when I was seven. I asked my mum a few months ago to look through my old school stuff for me and she came across it. What stuck out to me was the misspelling of furious as throrrelas and the fact that the baddie, a fox, "split himself in two" in anger when his prisoner escaped
yes!!! I recently found a story i wrote when i was like 7 and it was literally just “this is puffer and his pet. he puts his pet in a spaceship. the pet died. the end.”
When I was a kid, I wrote a story about a crow that refused to migrate during the winter, he almost froze to death, and a kindly family took him into their home and saved his life. My sister read the story and said, “Crows don’t migrate.”
@@Keznen 🫢 Silly six-year-old me. I should have specified which species of crow. 💀 Thanks for the heads-up for the next time I write a story about crows. 👍
When I was 4 years old I wrote a story called “Do you have money at your house” and it was about a kid that got a penny from doing chores, and decided to go around town and brag to everyone about his money by laughing hysterically in their faces when they said that they didn’t. Then everyone calls the boys mother and tells him what he did and the mom wrote all over the penny so that he couldn’t use it anymore. Truly peak fiction.
@@threepointone415 I would draw a bunch of pictures and then take photos of them with my dads camera and then he would combine them and I would voice over them in Adobe Aftereffects. Then we would burn it into a disc. I have a ton of movie that I made.
When I was like 8, I made a story about a Japanese girl who once tortured her friends, and to become a better person she had to wear a magical kimono from what I remember.
When i was eight, I made cards, containing very vulgar drawings and text, with names such as "I will summon an ancient Egyptian God to eat your pancreas". I made this kind of thing into a FIFTY-SIX PART SERIES. Edit: That was during the summer holidays after I had finished year 3, and when we started year 4, we had to write a short story about kids going to a summer camp. I made mine about one of the waitresses putting the kids one by one in a meat grinder and serving their corpses in burgers. The head mistress suspended me for that.
That reminds of a comic series me and my friend made called Crowbar Tales. We would take turns drawing them and pass them to each other in class. There were two rules to make one though, there had to be a crowbar or a play on words involving crowbars and the second rule was someone had to die a violent and gory death.
When I was about 9 I wrote a murder mystery with donuts, and a fight between snoopy and the red barren. Both got 100s. I’ve always been a good writer with execution, but the plot has always been chaotic. I guess nothing has changed eh?
I love that it's actually a good idea well constructed and mostly executed just fine, and then, suddenly, there's the weirdly mundane and clunky phrasing of that last line. It's like a dancer coming up with a nice choreography, performing it quite well most of the way, and then just walking to the final spot.
I found an old diary once from when I was in third grade. The entry for May 22, 2015 simply read: “I am bored. I will name this day Meat Shank Mind Day.” I cannot stop thinking about this.
I used to make up holidays, and one was Kimploni on January 14. It was a holiday celebrating shrimp and fish, where people would thank them for being delicious ingredients for food, or, and I quote, “kiss fishbowls with their pet fish.” As far as I know, “Kimploni” is not a real word.
Cursed story written by 5-year-old me: “Once upon a time there was a plant and a tree. Then a wizard came and turned them into a boy rabbit and a girl rabbit. They went to their lands, and suddenly they met up again. Then another wicked wizard came and he turned the boy rabbit into a bad rabbit who turned the girl rabbit into a dead rabbit, and she was dead forever. THE END.” The worst part is this was five year old me’s DREAM 💀
When I was a kid, me and the neighbor kid started a "band", and since we were big fans of Kiss, well, we called ourselves... Kiss. We pretended to be Kiss, I guess. I distinctly remember the lyrics (we only wrote a bunch of lyrics, of course neither of us could play instruments at the time) to a song called "Bombing Houses". It went as follows. Ahem. "Bombing houses, it's not so fun because it's just my dad who says I should bomb houses But now it's time for me to leave and never see him again, yeah!" That was the whole song. Absolute masterpiece if I say so myself.
One time during Covid, I wrote a book called the girl who didn’t wear her mask, and then she ended up dying at the end of coronavirus, and then everybody was cheering and jumping up and down and saying “that’s what you get” i’m happy to inform you that I have not changed. ❤ I WAS LIKE 10
I wrote a story when I was like ~8-10 about a wasp that really wanted to be a bee (because everybody hates wasps but bees are useful and widely loved). Then a good fairy appears and tells her that she can grant her that wish, but she needs to really consider it carefully because unlike wasps, bees die when they sting someone. The wasp is like that's fine, I still want it, so the fairy turns her into a bee. The (now) bee is thrilled, she flies around, makes honey and all that happy bee stuff, BUT THEN something happens, I don't remember if she's reckless and gets too close to a human or if it's a complete coincidence, but basically she's about to be hit or squished by a person and out of instinct and habit, she stings... and dies. The end... Idk what the moral was supposed to be... Be(e) yourself and don't try to be someone you're not...? I'd love to know how I came up with it lol
Fun fact, Bee stingers are designed for smaller insects and not large thick skin of mammals. A bee stinging another insect means they can pull it back out and be perfectly fine, but when stinging a human, trying to get it out is a pain, so they end up ripping off a part of their backside when they try to pull out. That's what kills them. However, if a bee is smart enough (and the human doesn't immediately smack them), a bee can carefully rotate and get it's stinger out from human skin safely. There are videos of this. (And it's better since it doesn't leave any swelling) Just a little fun fact.
When I was 12, I basically wrote a crack-fic involving Audrey Hepburn, Barney the Dinosaur, Snoopy, and Bill Nye the Science Guy. In this story, Ms. Hepburn and Barney are a couple. Bill Nye and Morgan Freeman bond over a shared love for science, become besties, prance around Morgan’s apartment in tutus and watch Titanic together. And it all ends with everyone traveling to Australia where Bill becomes apart of The Society of “The” Names (other members include Larry the Cable Guy, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bindi the Jungle Girl) and all of them singing “Africa” by Toto (Note: this story was written 5 years before that song became a meme).
When I was like 10 I got a story published on the school newspaper. It was something like this: There was a frog that didn't eat flies and a fly that didn't eat poop. The other frogs and flies hated them. So they went to China and ate vegetables with chopsticks. -The end. And that was the creative peak of my life.
about 15 years ago, the author Michael Kelly wrote a wonderful article about his early attempt at a spy novel (written at the age of 8) that he'd recently rediscovered he's the man behind behind "My Godawful Life" and the stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm; the article is called "The Spy Who Borrowed My Car" some highlights - * instead of "he said", the younger Kelly preferred to use the construction "qoute he" (misspelling both "quote" and the word he meant, which was "quoth") * the main character, a James Bond or Simon Templar-like secret agent called Brendan Abraham, claims to have seen combat in Northern Ireland, Newcastle and the Lake District * a good 10% of the book is the main character arranging to borrow other people's cars, as he doesn't have one himself * and this sentence cracked me up: "At one point the confusion reaches new heights with the appearance of a couple of murderous drug-smuggling villains with the not-quite-sinister names of Boris Hampshire and Brian Simon Whitmore."
@@emmahealy4863 in the author's own words, "In fairness to my juvenile self, this would have been pre-urban-regeneration Newcastle [ca. 1978], and as for the Lake District... mountain country. Bandits. The thing is I've always been a stay-at-home type and tend to regard anywhere more than a few miles from where I live as fraught with peril. "
As a child, I began to write a story called "Wow, a 50 Foot Cow!" and all of the stories on here made me think of it. I also wrote a book about a group of mice and rats who were friends and lived in the same apartment building and one went missing. I named some of the rats and mice after nicknames my brothers gave each other and me, and also our goldfish who was called "Big Pappa". I need to find those one day, they're probably hilarious
I recently moved and someone that was purchasing one of our old fancy bookshelves lifted it up to see a note underneath from who knows how long ago that just simply said, "you smell."
When we were cleaning out one of the barns on my grandpa’s family farm that’s straight up older than the country we live in there was a message written on the wall dated 1909 that just said, “John was here” lol.
In grade 5, I had to write a report about King George III of England. I mentioned that he was formerly “Prince of Whales.” My mother never let me live that one down.
Little-kid-me knew early on that I wanted to be a writer. However, she wrote a confusingly wholesome story about a pony, and I refused to believe it was written by me.....until it got to the very last page, in which the pony's owner (some random little girl) was killed off by a vampire. Addendum: Aside from another story (which was about a girl having to go buy magical sugar for a healing tea, when some animal person she was friends with got sick), I continued trying to make sense of what else I wanted to write. Didn't realize until I started hitting double digit age that half of what I had been writing was fan fiction...
I attempted to write an autobiography when I was seven. At that age, I really didn't any life experiences to write about, but I have saved the title should I write an autobiography as an adult: "My Damn Life."
In my second grade class, we were assigned to write something cool about being in nature. I wrote "if you die in the woods, you'll get eaten by a turkey vulture". The teacher got mad but I still think that's pretty cool.
My parents won't let me forget the time my Brownie pack got a letter from HRH D&D of Cambridge for sending in some cards for the royal wedding, and I was SO jealous that I didn't get to marry Prince William and become a Princess that I SCRIBBLED OUT PRINCESS KATE'S NAME 😂💀
When I was 6 I made a book “series” where each book was just one of those stapled-together folded book things. I spent a lot of effort on the covers. They are all completely blank.
When I was 3, I once filled a 100-page notebook with an epic story called "Smelly Camel Poo". Which was literally about camels travelling across the world - and taking shits.
I keep all my old notebooks, so I have drawings and notes all the way back to kindergarten. Every once in a while I look through them for nostalgia or a laugh, one of my favorites being a page of "Good behavior my dogs did today", one side is full of nice things that one dog did, and the other side for the other dog is just empty.
My older sister once found a paper plate with a crayon drawing of a watermelon on it that read “Melon of the ocean” and to this day we don’t know where is came from because we don’t even use paper plates.
Not sure that it really counts for this kind of thing, but I have a Halloween activity book from when I was young in which it said “draw some turrets on the castle.” At the time I did not know what turrets were and apparently thought it said TURTLES. so I drew several orange turtles roaming the castle walls and didn’t think twice about it
When I was 7 I wrote a book called:*THE BIG GIRL* I made it at a farmers market. It was about where the girls mother dies while she has a broken arm and a dog that gave birth, then 5 years later she fights a baby with laser eyes and their pet crocodile
When I was very young (maybe like 3 or 4) I would take my mom's notebook and "write" in it, meaning I would just scribble all over it page after page. I would also accompany my writings with drawings sometimes. I would always draw stick figures doing everyday normal activities, or getting caught in surprising situations. My favorite drawing is of two stick figures, a boyfriend and a girlfriend, who are resting on the grass on a hillside. The girl is looking lovingly at her boyfriend, while he has a look of horror on his face due to an airplane falling from the sky and heading straight for them.
That sounds like something I would've drawn as a kid, in fact I drew basically the same thing but it was just best friends and instead of a plane, it was the sun crashing into the Earth.
Little late, but when I was 11, I deadass wrote a satanic ritual for talking to dead people. I then crossed it out because I thought god would be mad at me.
Me and my sister once wrote a story about a fairy named Rosepettle and her friend Jacksonpettle. Yes, it was supposed to be "petal". It starts when Rosepettle hatches from an egg and and shakes the goop of her wings. We wrote a lot of stories, actually, including one where someone drank hot chocolate from a bowl, but the boys were always named Jack or Jackson. My sister who named the characters only knew one boy other than our dad, who was of course named Jackson.
4:08 i nearly died of laughter man jesus fucking christ, the delivery is so bloody brilliant, the voice with which you read "notes to self", the few seconds pause during which i started to hypothesise what could be there, and just as soon as i thought that it being blank would be fucking hilarious, you reveal that this shit is actually a blank page, i am so bloody glad that i watched it not during the night cuz all the neighbours would have been pissed for all the laughter noise and my flatmate would have strangled me in my sleep and shat on my chest
I still vividly remember 4 year old me drawing in my room the most DRAMATIC and disturbing visual story about the different ways 6 people died. I can recall drawing the ghosts of each one where they presumably died, one being on a mountain where they were killed while mountain climbing… and in the middle of the drawing was a group of family members mourning each persons death… I think the only reason I can still remember this 12 years on is because of the horrified look my mum gave me when I stupidly showed it to her after I drew it. Must have thought I was being possessed by a demon.
I have an extremely loud alarm that goes off at 7:05 pm every Monday so I can tune in in time for the video. You turned Mondays into the best day of the work week, Matt.
when i was 5 i wrote "the dawn of the girl". it tells the story of a girl who walks in the forst, and is bitten by a vampire and dies. then, a zombie starts eating her, but not her brain, so she comes back to life as a zombie vampire. i believe in the second book she has a girlfriend(?) who kisses her but she was a werewolf so she is now a werewolf zombie vampire. i'm still incredibly emo.
That sounds like an edgy version of that one Cyanide and Happiness guest comic where the guy lets himself be bitten by a zombie, a vampire, and a werewolf to gain the combined powers of all three. Except he is also bitten by a normal guy who just likes to bite people, and gains herpes from said guy.
*I remember when I was elementary school, I wrote a series of stories of me going through time in a time machine and in one of the stories I knocked on a door to a house and whoever should open it but BENJAMIN HARRISON! I got so excited at meeting him that I fainted. Can't remember what else I wrote in my adventures, but I remember that particular event.*
I recently just saw some drawings I did when I was 5... It was a group of blue, four-legged creatures that were saying "I need to get that egg" and I have no idea what the context behind it originally was...
When my little sister was around 4, she was a pretty good artist for a kid. She would often draw some nice scenery, like some mountains or a bridge, and an underground devil. She loved drawing devils, with a pitchfork and everything! And before that it was sharks eating people.
I don't know if I can find the drawing, but a few years ago, my youngest sister drew a picture of some terrifying, jagged cave, at least from what it looked like, and told us that "This is where the workers live..." She never elaborated beyond saying that one of her friends dads was a worker, but my mother(who is the sole breadwinner of our household) wasn't. We have tried to figure out what it could possibly mean or why she said it, but we have never been able to understand why. It feels like a horror movie, but she was a child, and probably just misunderstood something a friend or something had said.
the font used at 6:50 is called curlz, for a laugh i went and hunted it down to look at the wiki and its completely empty except one sentence in the notes about how the designer hates it. kinda funny
I remember when I was about in pre-k or kindergarten, we were drawing pictures in class. One classmate made fruit roasting over a campfire, and I got inspired by that. I ended up drawing around seven or eight kids burning alive in a field. One kid was a fairy and flew in the sky, but the fire managed to reach her for some reason.
Reminds me of a book I wrote when I was like six, in the style of the kids book, "when you give a mouse a cookie". It goes like this: "If you give a pig a cupcake, he'll want some sprinkles on it. If you give him some sprinkles, he'll want to go to the playground to play with it. If you take him to the playground, we can play. He'll find a lot of treasures. He'll cover his cupcake with sad. He'll squish his cupcake. He'll go into a graveyard and he'll get eaten. And he did nothing. The End." Mind you, almost every sentence is on a different page. So 'and he did nothing' is its own page. I don't know what happened in my brain, and frankly I'm scared.
I have some old elementary school notebooks where little me wrote about slaughtering pigs, a robe that's red like the blood of my enemies, and worst of all, a drawing of a little bird-man named "kink"
One of my favorite ways to entertain myself in elementary school was to create stories in Google Slides that were 70% or more imagery. And when I wasn’t using the shape tools to draw stick figures, iPads cosplaying as iPhones, and horrifically misshapen dogs, I was collecting my imagery from Google Images. As a result, many of the images I found were either abysmal resolution, or had white backgrounds on them. But I never bothered to find better images. Unironically one of the funniest images I have ever created comes from one such powerpoint, and it’s funny for all the wrong reasons. Imagine, if you will, a crunchy, stretched JPEG of Squidward Tentacles, with two high-resolution tennis ball PNGs with white backgrounds pasted over his eyes. The cherry on top: the words "TENNIS BALLS" plastered in black Arial across poor Squidward’s forehead.
@@MAML_ Sure. Screengrab from the powerpoint itself, since I still have and use the account: imgur.com/a/e0SeTuX Hope RUclips doesn't filter the reply thanks to the link
@@MAML_ God, I so desperately wish that I could supply, but any attempt at all to share a link to it, even if there is no link, gets immediately filtered by RUclips
When I was in preschool I wrote a short story about Bob Saget losing all of his blood and bones. He was saved, however, when the police were called on him.
When I was in 2nd or 3rd Grade, an assignment we had to do was write and illustrate our own book. I decided to write a book about a bulldog named Norman. He gets adopted from the pound and meets another female bulldog named Nelly, and they both fall in love. They have a nice walk along the street, then get jumped by three alley cats, who proceed to beat the hell out of them. The book ended with the owners finding two pairs of bloody, dismembered ears. THE END
I remember this drawing I made at a summer camp when I was around 10. It had a Minecraft creeper falling into lava, with an arrow through its head, a guillotine blade going sideways towards its head, and an anvil falling on its head all at the same time. It drew the creeper to say “*sobs*” and “aieeee!” And there was someone else in the drawing which I presume to be a Minecraft player in the form of a stick person saying “Har, har, har!” or “Die, creeper!” I guess I hated every Minecraft monster in existence back then.
Well this is embarrassing
hi verified creator i dont know who posted this comment a minute ago and is currently the first comment (not including the pinned post) on newest first
are you a pumpkin or an egg
Thank goodness I didn’t share my letter. I would feel worse than you.
Also whats up checkmark
You raised a lot of brave points about infrastructure and mortality and I respect 10-year-old Xploshi for that 👏
@@Matt_Roseso true
"Im going to die, im going to die!"
- 🦀
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die," the crab said calmly. "-I've lost my leg."
*_c r a b_*
@@dumaass _"Potter, " Dumbledore said calmly, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die. -- I've lost my leg."_
Why did they skip that in the movie adaptation!?!?
darn, i was gonna make that refferance first@@VkngVd
it sounds like a line from jevil 💀
Matt Rose is like that slightly deranged uncle we all have. He’s always there when we need him and probably has a couple convictions
I don't have an uncle...But I' ll matt as 1
fr smoking too many cigars!
Yeah
I would guess that one of the convictions is "disturbing the peace (SKULL EMOJIIIIIIIIIII)"
He also touches you when your parents aren’t looking
every once in a while i think about this one time when i was at least 7-8 and i wrote my mom a “grocery list”, all it said was
“all the fruits
goodbye”
probable some of the most poetic words i’ve ever written
every fruit. ever.
goodbye :)
Rupi Kaur could fuckin never
Not kidding. This is extremely emotional.
All the fruits. *ALL OF THEM*
this is just me when my mom asks if i need anything from the store sjsjsjs
"A BOOK OF LOVELY MEN ON HOLIDAY" gives similar energy as Lilo taking photos of tourist
That's adorable
That’s what I thought of too!
some of these give so much lilo energy tbh
Exactly what I was thinking. That book literally feels like a conversation from the movie.
@@rubolph1954literally.
Okay but
"Would you celebrate if I let you win"
Is honestly a great line
It really is
The thing was a lowkey banger
i would lol im a jerk
WHERE IS THE ALBUM? WE WANT THE DANG ALBUM!
that whole thing is honestly full of pretty good lines!
"they tell tales of your beauty, but really it's just the way you are" is probably my favourite
When I was 5, I “wrote” a story that I was very proud of, and asked my kindergarten teacher to read it. She sat everyone down on the carpet do so in front of the class while she sat in her rocking chair, and I stood next to her, in front of everyone. She seemed very excited to read it, and so was I. Then she opens it. Her face falls, and I get concerned. I don’t know what’s wrong. Apparently, all the “words” I had written were just scribbles. Not even illegible kindergarten-handwriting, I mean literal wavy lines. The kind you make to _imitate_ writing. I was so embarrassed, and surprised, like I didn’t know I had done that. I genuinely thought I had been writing and was shocked to see I hadn’t.
I don’t remember what the heck I thought I was writing, but I do remember it was on a hot pink sticky-note pad and had at least one drawing of a horse.
Aw that's kind of adorable in a sense - kids sometimes don't know the difference between pretending to do something and actually doing it.
My little cousin used to bring us papers where he'd written a bunch of letters in a row (he knew some letters, but didn't know how to spell), and he'd ask us to read them to him. I think he thought he might have actually written something, but he needed us know what he'd written.
My older cousin (probably about 6 or 7 years old) dutifully read out every line for him no matter how many times he asked, phonetically. Even though it was all nonsense. XD
Clearly your story was a memetic anomaly.
that's actually so adorable
@@Jupiter-T My little sister would write like that. She only knew v, i, and o, because those were in her name, and some of the v's looked like u's, so many of her notebooks were filled with "viovio vi vio uivuio vuioio vio"
I used to do that all the time and get mad when people couldn't read it, but when asked what is says I wouldn't be able to remember
When I was 8, I wrote a story about a unicorn called Dave who discovers his German teacher is an ex meth dealer 💀
Ah, the mysteries of the child mind
Please publish this story
I was first your inferior to me💀
YOU WHAT
Sounds like a bestseller!
When I was very young I made my gran a Mother's day card saying simply: "It is today"
Clearly I was a very affectionate child
HELP MEEE OMG 😭😭😭
i am happy to inform you that it is infact still today
Bro ehy js this so funny XDDDD
Sounds like a lot of autistic kids I've met who don't understand how to convey emotions yet. Statements of fact work better. Source: me being an autistic kid who also did this shit
@@Som_Guy back then, "today" wasn't today. it was back then today, but "back then" back then isn't back then today
When I visited my old home I saw a book I wrote when I was 6/7 and I saw in my terrible childish handwriting that still hasn’t changed yet:
“Horrid Henry is armed and ready”
Aged well
That sentence reminds me of my brother
Perfect Peter? Is that you?
EVERYBODY HIDE PERFECT PETER OH GOD
When I was 5, I was terrified of the thought of being alive after my parents were dead. My solution? I essentially invented the suicide pact
saaame omg. sorry you had such terrible thoughts.
honestly same 💀
I remember when I was a lot younger and my autism was still undiagnosed I wrote a story in one of my journals about a little girl (definitely not me) who was “socially disabled” and everyone hated her and I think the story ended with her dying alone but I don’t remember.
Anyway that was interesting to find a decade later 😅
@@kaleenar963 I remember finding a note written by me (I don’t know how old I was) saying: “I am socially constipated”
@@oliverkey1435 That’s a much funnier way of putting it 😂
I wrote a story called "Toad in Jail" when I was like 8. Its a picture book with Toad from Super Mario having a bunch of dead bodies in his house. And then the whole fucking government shows up with a swat team. And he gets thrown in a jail cell. Yeah I started medications at 9 if you were wondering
Life update: I was admitted for a week
@@Skarfeetoad has gone mD
Life update 2: Addmited again
hope you dont get admitted anymore, hadn't heard good things about it
@@mellow_mallow I love being admitted/s
In the seventh grade, I began a story like this:
"He opened the door and saw a bright light..."
"It was the sun."
Sounds like a line you would see in The City of Ember series
Better than the headlight of an oncoming train honestly
See also: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
That happens to me sometimes too
Edit: I have no idea what I meant by this
Reminds me of that one two sentence horror
You subverted my expectations more than Hollywood has for the past 10 years
When I was a kid I had a comic called “swearing giraffe”
It’s all in the title
That surely sold like donuts among the other children
I read that like 3 times and only now realized that it in fact says "swearing" and not "sweating" lol
Imagining that it was one panel of a giraffe saying f*** has absolutely killed me. Thank you
get vivzie on this script
this is like the most awesome thing ive heard today
When I was 7, me and my sister sang something called The Toilet Song that we made up. If went like this:
"Standing on the toilet"
"Nice and tall"
"Dancing on the toilet"
"Nice and tall"
"And then you fall in"
"SPLASH"
"Splash"
"splash"
So you technically made “Sittin’ On The Toliet?” 😂
wow, such poetry
SPLASH Splash splash
I had to write a fact book about lions in class once when i was 6 or 7. I spelt lions as "Loins". Example of this was "A lot of male loins have lots of hair, it is called a mane"
I'm sure you made your teacher's day😂 That's the kind of thing they save to share at the yearly holiday party
when I was a kid I found a vhs tape at our house labeled "The Loin King" and when I asked to watch it my mom had to explain that it wasn't the movie I thought it was. all I knew was that a loin was a body part so I asked if it was a horror movie and she said yes. I imagine she gave my dad a talking to later about leaving his porn sitting out
@@ActionYakPolice tbf it definitely WOULD be a horror movie to you if it was home-made
@@ActionYakPolice I cannot imagine leaving out porn when you have kids, but specifically ones with names based on Disney movies are so risky jfc
That sounds like something Sally Brown from Peanuts would write if Schultz wanted to be a bit edgier.
About a month ago I found a story book I wrote for my sister when I was 10. It was about a giraffe named George who sold every kind of gun in the world and one day a glue gun malfunctioned and shot him in the neck which made his neck permanently stuck in a squiggly shape. The other giraffes bullied his so relentlessly for it that he moved away and joined the circus.
The best part is that I was severely dyslexic as a child, so I spelled 'giraffe' differently every single time I wrote it. The book's title read "Gorge the Genrare" and the following are all of my attempt as spelling giraffe: Genrare, Genraf, Grafe.
😂😂
LMAO
Well I once wrote a story (age 5-6) about “Bab the plecmn”. Took now-me a week and three illustrations of a man wearing blue to figure out that- _oh!,_ Bob is a _policeman…_
@@bookwormat5418lol
LMAO
proudly announced Ireland is my favorite US state at the ripe age of 13
England is my city
The timeline when the time traveler kicks a rock
Hey if that means I get to go there without a passport works for me I hear the scenery is lovely there.
I thought USA were some isles in the west and England was a continent in the further west
Lollll
I once wrote an entire fanfiction about digimon fighting WWE wrestlers. I was a strange child.
I'd read that.
Interesting. Most people who would give WWE wrestlers fantasy crossover companions would choose Pokémon; they’re much easier to match to a character gimmick, like Gym Leaders.
That sounds fucking amazing though
Nah that's based af I would totally read that
You were an awesome child
I’m a teacher and one of my first grade girls came up to me and said, “I drew me as a princess” and pointed to her drawing of a fish.
*F I S H*
3:48 the most calm skull emoji I've ever heard from Matt
frfr
I read this just when it said skull emoji
Honestly, 💀
"Skullemoji 😌"
He’s just trying not to be negative.
💀💀
A Book of Lovely Men on Holiday is ICONIC
Things to look for...
Youth
Blond or black hair
Lovely eyes and smile
Quite slim
Not very hairy
All equals........
Good looks!
Things to NOT look for!…
Stupid shades
Stupid T-shirt (sexy doughnuts)
Stupid hat
All equals……….
STUPID MAN!
@@Jacob_was_hereThings to NOT look for…
Stupid shades
Stupid T-shirt (sexy doughnuts)
Stupid hat
All equals……..
STUPID MAN!
Could ‘t agree more 😂😂
a horrible meal
when I was like 5 I read a book called walk two moons (excellent book btw) but the main character got into an argument with someone and she drew a picture of them hanging by a noose in a tree, which started the most demented habit of mine that got me psychologically evaluated at 8 after my mom found a box of like 3 notebooks full of drawings of people hanging in trees 💀
Can we see the notebooks
when I was 8 or 9 I wrote a story about a half man, half chicken hybrid. He was gifted a chicken as a pet but ended up marrying her instead. Truly a literary masterpiece. It was illustrated too
I... 😰
"I must survive on the fringes of society, neither man nor chicken! Something in between, a ... a chickeny man!"
was his lower torso chicken or upper torso/head because that completely changes how i feel about this
Alrighty then.
Omg, we really need a book of stories written by children. This is gold! 😂
A few years ago, my mom found a poem I wrote when I was younger. It was:
Nine little birdies,
Flying in the sky.
One fell down,
And broke its thigh
do birds even have thighs?
@@goofyicerink9560pretty sure they do
Sounds like it would be a funny rhyme like 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed.
@@goofyicerink9560What, you never had bird thighs before?
Why isn’t this a nursery rhyme? I would have listened to it as a little kid
When I was pretty little, my Grandma made up these stories about a character called Sammy Seagull for me. There was a LOT of lore, including immortality orange juice (of my invention) and Sammy’s delinquent, dumpster-diving cousin, Lester. When we went to their vacation house together in the summer for a bit every year, I sometimes got to help make up the stories. And one time, when we had gone home for the summer and they hadn’t yet, I decided to make a Sammy Seagull story all by myself for her, maybe as a surprise (I don’t remember). I wrote it in a Disney notebook, and it’s still in the basement to this day. It’s only a page long, and in it, Sammy, his wife, Shelly, and probably some of their children go to rescue some seagulls from this monster. Pretty standard stuff, right? But when they get to where the monster is, the seagulls have already been eaten, so they just hold a memorial service. THAT’S HOW IT ENDS. I quite literally couldn’t hurt a fly as a child, I do not know where this came from, but I think about it at least once a month
OMG WHEN I WAS IN 5TH-6TH GRADE I MADE THESE STORIES ON GOOGLE DOCS ABOUT CATS AND THERE EAS TONS OF LORE
@@ProfessionalBugLover Erin Hunter stole your ideas frfr 😔
Whenever my brain forces me to think a fanfic or something, [usually just rain world, warrior cats, nicos nextbots (yes, my sanity has been destroyed a long time ago), slime rancher cat edition, or whatever you'd call a fiction where there are four gods and they are all kittens], I always have to sit through my mind creating at leat one heartbreaking lore point every 10 'chapters' (I cannot define chapter in this context anymore)
I would not hurt a slug in an emergency, yet whenever my brain sends me yet another piece of fiction of its own creation it is cursed, heartbreaking, complex, and cursed fanfic
Or at least, my mind only sendimg me those when it is done listening to Rally up by Grioten and xi$ow for the 2h47m it always takes for the music to stop and hopefully give me a little time to focus on the latin text I am trying to translate
5:10 as an African, I can 100% verify this. The rest of the day they left out is mostly rebuilding the house and getting chemo
when does the rising from the dead happen? lol
@@blizzard_the_seal9863at 13pm
@@blizzard_the_seal9863 usually around 9 o’clock
Source: am of african decent
8:05 That's a pretty solid Joker laugh, I won't lie.
frfr
Feel good
I love you. HAHAHAHAHAAaa *high pitched*
fr
I had the same thought! It's right on parr with Mark Hamill's laughs!
I wrote a short story in class when I was seven. I asked my mum a few months ago to look through my old school stuff for me and she came across it. What stuck out to me was the misspelling of furious as throrrelas and the fact that the baddie, a fox, "split himself in two" in anger when his prisoner escaped
That's how Rumpelstiltskin ends, so it could well have come from that
Mitosis
Children always have an element of being completely unhinged in some way, shape or form 😂
yes!!! I recently found a story i wrote when i was like 7 and it was literally just “this is puffer and his pet.
he puts his pet in a spaceship.
the pet died.
the end.”
They haven't been installed in a frame yet.
@@lemagicbaguette1917🤔 🚪
When I was a kid, I wrote a story about a crow that refused to migrate during the winter, he almost froze to death, and a kindly family took him into their home and saved his life. My sister read the story and said, “Crows don’t migrate.”
Some species of crows do migrate, so you weren't actually wrong.
@@Keznen
🫢 Silly six-year-old me. I should have specified which species of crow. 💀
Thanks for the heads-up for the next time I write a story about crows. 👍
Was it an African or a European crow?
@@vespurrsI also wonder how many coconut they can carry...
@@autonomouscollective2599 No need. It was your sister who was incorrect. lol
2:37 op hates it? Those were the most fire bars I've heard all day!
ikr /srs
I had a paper saying “To eliminate all flesh” with a drawing with a rainbow.
I have never seen it since.
W H A T 😀
Are you an AI that was sent to destroy all organic matter? lol Feels like kid you was controlled by some AI program or something. xD
@@ReptilianTeaDrinker well, idk
40k mechanicus:
Bro is the Omnissiah
When I was 4 years old I wrote a story called “Do you have money at your house” and it was about a kid that got a penny from doing chores, and decided to go around town and brag to everyone about his money by laughing hysterically in their faces when they said that they didn’t. Then everyone calls the boys mother and tells him what he did and the mom wrote all over the penny so that he couldn’t use it anymore.
Truly peak fiction.
honestly that sounds like it could be a great fable
it actually does sound like a story I'd come across in a book like that
The only thing this story lacks to be accepted into Struwwelpeter is sadism
You have great imagination when you were a 4-year-old
@@threepointone415 I would draw a bunch of pictures and then take photos of them with my dads camera and then he would combine them and I would voice over them in Adobe Aftereffects. Then we would burn it into a disc. I have a ton of movie that I made.
You wrote a modern fable
How do 8/9 year olds write so detailed and skilled stories with better handwriting than me?
I know right!? Fake af but still funny
When I was like 8, I made a story about a Japanese girl who once tortured her friends, and to become a better person she had to wear a magical kimono from what I remember.
I'd read that
Interesting
pitch it to studio ghibli
Sounds like a manga I'd have read in high school
Interesting plot... I'd read that.
When i was eight, I made cards, containing very vulgar drawings and text, with names such as "I will summon an ancient Egyptian God to eat your pancreas". I made this kind of thing into a FIFTY-SIX PART SERIES.
Edit: That was during the summer holidays after I had finished year 3, and when we started year 4, we had to write a short story about kids going to a summer camp. I made mine about one of the waitresses putting the kids one by one in a meat grinder and serving their corpses in burgers. The head mistress suspended me for that.
Are there any left?
I'd read those ngl.
Little-kid-me was just ASPIRING to be you! 😆
@@Muchacho1994 i still have about 9
That reminds of a comic series me and my friend made called Crowbar Tales. We would take turns drawing them and pass them to each other in class. There were two rules to make one though, there had to be a crowbar or a play on words involving crowbars and the second rule was someone had to die a violent and gory death.
When I was about 9 I wrote a murder mystery with donuts, and a fight between snoopy and the red barren. Both got 100s. I’ve always been a good writer with execution, but the plot has always been chaotic. I guess nothing has changed eh?
Slightly more than disappointed Matt didn’t include a picture of himself as a lovely man on holiday. Probably eats eyeballs tbh (horrible meal)
HOW TF DOES THIS HAVE 600+ LIKES ON 7 MONTHS AND NO REPLYS LMAOOO-
I wrote this Masterpiece about 6 years ago:
The silver river
Is always calm and tranquil
Then some one falls in
That’s actually kinda fire ngl
A haiku
I love that it's actually a good idea well constructed and mostly executed just fine, and then, suddenly, there's the weirdly mundane and clunky phrasing of that last line. It's like a dancer coming up with a nice choreography, performing it quite well most of the way, and then just walking to the final spot.
I like it.
Your younger self recreated probably the seminal haiku by the master himself, Matsuo Basho, presumably on accident - take pride in that!!
I found an old diary once from when I was in third grade. The entry for May 22, 2015 simply read: “I am bored. I will name this day Meat Shank Mind Day.” I cannot stop thinking about this.
Adding this day to my calendar
I used to make up holidays, and one was Kimploni on January 14. It was a holiday celebrating shrimp and fish, where people would thank them for being delicious ingredients for food, or, and I quote, “kiss fishbowls with their pet fish.” As far as I know, “Kimploni” is not a real word.
Two days until Meat Shank Mind Day!
@@Mizu2023 You sure? Meat Shank Mind Day is 22nd May. Wish it was in two days though, personally can't wait
Can't wait for Meat Shank Mind Day!
Okay but that song at 2:07 has some BARS. "Would you celebrate if I let you in, is it really saintly or is it just a sin?"
thank you
@@frankology did u make it???
@@jackoutsideofthebox0916 yes i did
"(a ghost is a dead person)"
I find it far more amusing than I should that they felt this important enough to make sure we were clear on.
Cursed story written by 5-year-old me:
“Once upon a time there was a plant and a tree. Then a wizard came and turned them into a boy rabbit and a girl rabbit. They went to their lands, and suddenly they met up again. Then another wicked wizard came and he turned the boy rabbit into a bad rabbit who turned the girl rabbit into a dead rabbit, and she was dead forever. THE END.”
The worst part is this was five year old me’s DREAM 💀
This is basically what myths are like
@@paigeepler”It was revealed to me in a dream.”
Giving me watership down vibes lol
I drew a grave on my grandmas card and wrote "when are you going to die?"
random but i wrote "take your BOOB off." in a sketch book one night and a few months later i found it and started crying
mastectomy
What's really effed up is how many are doing exactly that, completely unaware of how very much they'll regret it....😢😢😢
god i WISH i could take my BOOB off....
@@katie7748 what if the world was made of pudding
@@katie7748 I take my boob off in the morning, put it back on in the eve
When I was a kid, me and the neighbor kid started a "band", and since we were big fans of Kiss, well, we called ourselves... Kiss. We pretended to be Kiss, I guess. I distinctly remember the lyrics (we only wrote a bunch of lyrics, of course neither of us could play instruments at the time) to a song called "Bombing Houses". It went as follows. Ahem.
"Bombing houses, it's not so fun because it's just my dad who says I should bomb houses
But now it's time for me to leave and never see him again, yeah!"
That was the whole song. Absolute masterpiece if I say so myself.
sounds kinda punk tbh
Was your dad an exterminator😂😂
Sounds like anti-war commentary
"Moj je Tata zločinac iz rata".🤪
One time during Covid, I wrote a book called the girl who didn’t wear her mask, and then she ended up dying at the end of coronavirus, and then everybody was cheering and jumping up and down and saying “that’s what you get” i’m happy to inform you that I have not changed. ❤ I WAS LIKE 10
I wrote a story when I was like ~8-10 about a wasp that really wanted to be a bee (because everybody hates wasps but bees are useful and widely loved). Then a good fairy appears and tells her that she can grant her that wish, but she needs to really consider it carefully because unlike wasps, bees die when they sting someone. The wasp is like that's fine, I still want it, so the fairy turns her into a bee. The (now) bee is thrilled, she flies around, makes honey and all that happy bee stuff, BUT THEN something happens, I don't remember if she's reckless and gets too close to a human or if it's a complete coincidence, but basically she's about to be hit or squished by a person and out of instinct and habit, she stings... and dies.
The end...
Idk what the moral was supposed to be... Be(e) yourself and don't try to be someone you're not...? I'd love to know how I came up with it lol
Sounds like it could be a real fable.
That's actually really good tbh
@@cherrycola958 Thank you haha. I have to find that story to remind myself what exactly happened, I hope I can find it somewhere.
Fun fact, Bee stingers are designed for smaller insects and not large thick skin of mammals. A bee stinging another insect means they can pull it back out and be perfectly fine, but when stinging a human, trying to get it out is a pain, so they end up ripping off a part of their backside when they try to pull out. That's what kills them. However, if a bee is smart enough (and the human doesn't immediately smack them), a bee can carefully rotate and get it's stinger out from human skin safely. There are videos of this. (And it's better since it doesn't leave any swelling)
Just a little fun fact.
@@DoctorTex Oh that's cool to know! Thanks for sharing.
When I was 12, I basically wrote a crack-fic involving Audrey Hepburn, Barney the Dinosaur, Snoopy, and Bill Nye the Science Guy. In this story, Ms. Hepburn and Barney are a couple. Bill Nye and Morgan Freeman bond over a shared love for science, become besties, prance around Morgan’s apartment in tutus and watch Titanic together. And it all ends with everyone traveling to Australia where Bill becomes apart of The Society of “The” Names (other members include Larry the Cable Guy, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bindi the Jungle Girl) and all of them singing “Africa” by Toto (Note: this story was written 5 years before that song became a meme).
Sounds up to date. And real.
This is the funniest, crack-headed thing I've ever read 😂
This needs to be published… also was Bob the Builder in the society of “the” names?
@@NotUselessProductions Yes, he was.
But weirdly enough, Barney doesn’t qualify, as “Barney the Dinosaur” isn’t his legal name. Just Barney.
@@NotUselessProductions That’s a pretty good idea! I wonder if I could find it…
When I was like 10 I got a story published on the school newspaper. It was something like this:
There was a frog that didn't eat flies and a fly that didn't eat poop. The other frogs and flies hated them. So they went to China and ate vegetables with chopsticks.
-The end.
And that was the creative peak of my life.
Genius
Distinguished gentlemen
about 15 years ago, the author Michael Kelly wrote a wonderful article about his early attempt at a spy novel (written at the age of 8) that he'd recently rediscovered
he's the man behind behind "My Godawful Life" and the stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm; the article is called "The Spy Who Borrowed My Car"
some highlights -
* instead of "he said", the younger Kelly preferred to use the construction "qoute he" (misspelling both "quote" and the word he meant, which was "quoth")
* the main character, a James Bond or Simon Templar-like secret agent called Brendan Abraham, claims to have seen combat in Northern Ireland, Newcastle and the Lake District
* a good 10% of the book is the main character arranging to borrow other people's cars, as he doesn't have one himself
* and this sentence cracked me up: "At one point the confusion reaches new heights with the appearance of a couple of murderous drug-smuggling villains with the not-quite-sinister names of Boris Hampshire and Brian Simon Whitmore."
Amazing
Thank you, I'll try to find it. Seems epic :-)
You've clearly never been in Newcastle City center after 5pm on a Saturday night 😂
@@emmahealy4863 in the author's own words, "In fairness to my juvenile self, this would have been pre-urban-regeneration Newcastle [ca. 1978], and as for the Lake District... mountain country. Bandits. The thing is I've always been a stay-at-home type and tend to regard anywhere more than a few miles from where I live as fraught with peril. "
Lmao thanks for reminding me about the Roy Orbison In Clingfilm guy, I haven’t thought about that nonsense in years
As a child, I began to write a story called "Wow, a 50 Foot Cow!" and all of the stories on here made me think of it. I also wrote a book about a group of mice and rats who were friends and lived in the same apartment building and one went missing. I named some of the rats and mice after nicknames my brothers gave each other and me, and also our goldfish who was called "Big Pappa". I need to find those one day, they're probably hilarious
I recently moved and someone that was purchasing one of our old fancy bookshelves lifted it up to see a note underneath from who knows how long ago that just simply said, "you smell."
The Penguin pfp adds depth to this
When we were cleaning out one of the barns on my grandpa’s family farm that’s straight up older than the country we live in there was a message written on the wall dated 1909 that just said, “John was here” lol.
In grade 5, I had to write a report about King George III of England. I mentioned that he was formerly “Prince of Whales.” My mother never let me live that one down.
King George III (formerly known as Moby Dick)
He, in fact, HATED John Adams.
Little-kid-me knew early on that I wanted to be a writer. However, she wrote a confusingly wholesome story about a pony, and I refused to believe it was written by me.....until it got to the very last page, in which the pony's owner (some random little girl) was killed off by a vampire.
Addendum: Aside from another story (which was about a girl having to go buy magical sugar for a healing tea, when some animal person she was friends with got sick), I continued trying to make sense of what else I wanted to write. Didn't realize until I started hitting double digit age that half of what I had been writing was fan fiction...
that is so funny
I am confused. Who is "she"? Are you talking about yourself in 3rd person??
I attempted to write an autobiography when I was seven. At that age, I really didn't any life experiences to write about, but I have saved the title should I write an autobiography as an adult: "My Damn Life."
I mean you have to write it now, that's a kickass title
In my second grade class, we were assigned to write something cool about being in nature. I wrote "if you die in the woods, you'll get eaten by a turkey vulture". The teacher got mad but I still think that's pretty cool.
I think that's cool.
Sounds like your teacher was just lame and uncreative. Being part of the life cycle is very cool.
You understood the purpose of scavengers. Very cool
Teachers really love getting mad at kids for flawlessly following instructions, huh?
Hey, be glad it's a turkey vulture and not a thunderbird!
My parents won't let me forget the time my Brownie pack got a letter from HRH D&D of Cambridge for sending in some cards for the royal wedding, and I was SO jealous that I didn't get to marry Prince William and become a Princess that I SCRIBBLED OUT PRINCESS KATE'S NAME 😂💀
When I was 6 I made a book “series” where each book was just one of those stapled-together folded book things. I spent a lot of effort on the covers.
They are all completely blank.
When I was 3, I once filled a 100-page notebook with an epic story called "Smelly Camel Poo". Which was literally about camels travelling across the world - and taking shits.
LMAO
Peak fiction
this is some shit freud would write about lmao
I keep all my old notebooks, so I have drawings and notes all the way back to kindergarten. Every once in a while I look through them for nostalgia or a laugh, one of my favorites being a page of "Good behavior my dogs did today", one side is full of nice things that one dog did, and the other side for the other dog is just empty.
My older sister once found a paper plate with a crayon drawing of a watermelon on it that read “Melon of the ocean” and to this day we don’t know where is came from because we don’t even use paper plates.
Melon in the ocean
I always forget its monday 🗿
Best monday ever in my opinion
Matt makes every Monday better
@@pemanilnoob indeed
@@pemanilnoobAgreed
IT'S ROCK AND ROLL DAY!!!!
@@Spongyboi897 ROCK N ROOOOOOOLLLLLLLL
I found a note book full of my drawings of fat people, they were all saying “help I’m too fat” or “oh no I’m fat”
Not sure that it really counts for this kind of thing, but I have a Halloween activity book from when I was young in which it said “draw some turrets on the castle.” At the time I did not know what turrets were and apparently thought it said TURTLES. so I drew several orange turtles roaming the castle walls and didn’t think twice about it
is ur pfp solangelo?!? 👀👀👀
Portal turrets storm the castle
5:43: My dog sits at the window... "and watches the wind go by"
Boy, that wind sure is a sight to behold
“Is he thinking about his past?”
That went deep-
It fucking WIMDY
You know, that is a very dog thing to do
@@midnight4685as a person with a dog, this is true.
When I was 7 I wrote a book called:*THE BIG GIRL* I made it at a farmers market. It was about where the girls mother dies while she has a broken arm and a dog that gave birth, then 5 years later she fights a baby with laser eyes and their pet crocodile
When I was very young (maybe like 3 or 4) I would take my mom's notebook and "write" in it, meaning I would just scribble all over it page after page. I would also accompany my writings with drawings sometimes.
I would always draw stick figures doing everyday normal activities, or getting caught in surprising situations. My favorite drawing is of two stick figures, a boyfriend and a girlfriend, who are resting on the grass on a hillside. The girl is looking lovingly at her boyfriend, while he has a look of horror on his face due to an airplane falling from the sky and heading straight for them.
Excuse me what the actual-
Now that's a rising tension.
That sounds like something I would've drawn as a kid, in fact I drew basically the same thing but it was just best friends and instead of a plane, it was the sun crashing into the Earth.
0:44 *brought to you by Pepsi*
Pepsi's marketing truly is a force of nature
@@camicus-3249see also: critical reviews of “We Are The World” comparing the lyrics to contemporary Pepsi advertising
INSTITUTION!
Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead
Little late, but when I was 11, I deadass wrote a satanic ritual for talking to dead people. I then crossed it out because I thought god would be mad at me.
Me and my sister once wrote a story about a fairy named Rosepettle and her friend Jacksonpettle. Yes, it was supposed to be "petal". It starts when Rosepettle hatches from an egg and and shakes the goop of her wings. We wrote a lot of stories, actually, including one where someone drank hot chocolate from a bowl, but the boys were always named Jack or Jackson. My sister who named the characters only knew one boy other than our dad, who was of course named Jackson.
My therapist: Chicago dialect Matt Rose doesn't exist, he can't hurt you!
Chicago dialect Matt Rose: 8:14
He soulds like a drunk mobstar
@@winzigerflashendeckel6894The Rockstar Mobstar.
bro sounded Russian 💀💀💀💀💀💀
@@sams_enfpNah. He has done a better russian accent before this. This sounds more like a lite/vanilla version of a Russian accent
4:08 i nearly died of laughter man jesus fucking christ, the delivery is so bloody brilliant, the voice with which you read "notes to self", the few seconds pause during which i started to hypothesise what could be there, and just as soon as i thought that it being blank would be fucking hilarious, you reveal that this shit is actually a blank page, i am so bloody glad that i watched it not during the night cuz all the neighbours would have been pissed for all the laughter noise and my flatmate would have strangled me in my sleep and shat on my chest
2:35 Hold on, I need to sit down, hang on. Bro wrote that when he was 8-9?
I was still doing baby steps when I was like, 15 years old.
Dude I still can’t write that good
My god I thought it was printed
it's the autism in me
I still vividly remember 4 year old me drawing in my room the most DRAMATIC and disturbing visual story about the different ways 6 people died. I can recall drawing the ghosts of each one where they presumably died, one being on a mountain where they were killed while mountain climbing… and in the middle of the drawing was a group of family members mourning each persons death…
I think the only reason I can still remember this 12 years on is because of the horrified look my mum gave me when I stupidly showed it to her after I drew it. Must have thought I was being possessed by a demon.
we have to appreciate Matt for learning an entire fucking instrument for this video
I have an extremely loud alarm that goes off at 7:05 pm every Monday so I can tune in in time for the video. You turned Mondays into the best day of the work week, Matt.
If matt changes his upload schedule and you get up for nothing it would be a little funny I think
*garfield would like to disagree*
I live in the eastern US. Should I set mine for 2:05 pm?
@@DigitizedGalaxyAltGarfield never heard of Matt Rose.
I’m like 6-7am Aussie Tuesday
when i was 5 i wrote "the dawn of the girl". it tells the story of a girl who walks in the forst, and is bitten by a vampire and dies. then, a zombie starts eating her, but not her brain, so she comes back to life as a zombie vampire. i believe in the second book she has a girlfriend(?) who kisses her but she was a werewolf so she is now a werewolf zombie vampire. i'm still incredibly emo.
HELP. emo origin story
That sounds like an edgy version of that one Cyanide and Happiness guest comic where the guy lets himself be bitten by a zombie, a vampire, and a werewolf to gain the combined powers of all three. Except he is also bitten by a normal guy who just likes to bite people, and gains herpes from said guy.
@@Keznen hahaha
*I remember when I was elementary school, I wrote a series of stories of me going through time in a time machine and in one of the stories I knocked on a door to a house and whoever should open it but BENJAMIN HARRISON! I got so excited at meeting him that I fainted. Can't remember what else I wrote in my adventures, but I remember that particular event.*
These stories needs to be published
I recently just saw some drawings I did when I was 5... It was a group of blue, four-legged creatures that were saying "I need to get that egg" and I have no idea what the context behind it originally was...
Well did you find the egg ?
Did it get the egg? 😮
6:20 makes me feel uncomfortable
When my little sister was around 4, she was a pretty good artist for a kid. She would often draw some nice scenery, like some mountains or a bridge, and an underground devil. She loved drawing devils, with a pitchfork and everything! And before that it was sharks eating people.
Matt never disappoints...unless you're my lungs desperate for air as I laugh like a complete doofus.
2:04 why is that song actually amazing??
My thoughts exactly
Banger
Fr
Great song.
I kind of want to figure out how to set it to music.
I don't know if I can find the drawing, but a few years ago, my youngest sister drew a picture of some terrifying, jagged cave, at least from what it looked like, and told us that "This is where the workers live..."
She never elaborated beyond saying that one of her friends dads was a worker, but my mother(who is the sole breadwinner of our household) wasn't. We have tried to figure out what it could possibly mean or why she said it, but we have never been able to understand why. It feels like a horror movie, but she was a child, and probably just misunderstood something a friend or something had said.
the font used at 6:50 is called curlz, for a laugh i went and hunted it down to look at the wiki and its completely empty except one sentence in the notes about how the designer hates it. kinda funny
I remember when I was about in pre-k or kindergarten, we were drawing pictures in class. One classmate made fruit roasting over a campfire, and I got inspired by that.
I ended up drawing around seven or eight kids burning alive in a field. One kid was a fairy and flew in the sky, but the fire managed to reach her for some reason.
JESUS LMAO
Ok this one made me cry with laughter! How did the teacher react?
Reminds me of a book I wrote when I was like six, in the style of the kids book, "when you give a mouse a cookie".
It goes like this: "If you give a pig a cupcake, he'll want some sprinkles on it. If you give him some sprinkles, he'll want to go to the playground to play with it. If you take him to the playground, we can play. He'll find a lot of treasures. He'll cover his cupcake with sad. He'll squish his cupcake. He'll go into a graveyard and he'll get eaten. And he did nothing. The End."
Mind you, almost every sentence is on a different page. So 'and he did nothing' is its own page. I don't know what happened in my brain, and frankly I'm scared.
I have some old elementary school notebooks where little me wrote about slaughtering pigs, a robe that's red like the blood of my enemies, and worst of all, a drawing of a little bird-man named "kink"
One of my favorite ways to entertain myself in elementary school was to create stories in Google Slides that were 70% or more imagery. And when I wasn’t using the shape tools to draw stick figures, iPads cosplaying as iPhones, and horrifically misshapen dogs, I was collecting my imagery from Google Images. As a result, many of the images I found were either abysmal resolution, or had white backgrounds on them. But I never bothered to find better images.
Unironically one of the funniest images I have ever created comes from one such powerpoint, and it’s funny for all the wrong reasons. Imagine, if you will, a crunchy, stretched JPEG of Squidward Tentacles, with two high-resolution tennis ball PNGs with white backgrounds pasted over his eyes. The cherry on top: the words "TENNIS BALLS" plastered in black Arial across poor Squidward’s forehead.
image!?
@@MAML_ Sure. Screengrab from the powerpoint itself, since I still have and use the account: imgur.com/a/e0SeTuX
Hope RUclips doesn't filter the reply thanks to the link
@@MAML_ God I wish I could, but any attempt to link to Imgur with the page ID "e0SeTuX" gets immediately filtered by RUclips
@@MAML_ God, I so desperately wish that I could supply, but any attempt at all to share a link to it, even if there is no link, gets immediately filtered by RUclips
I was once telling a friend about you but for some reason Scott The Woz was in my brain
I called you “Mott The Roz”
Unrelated but my favorite youtuber it's Sliott the Cloz
“Did you turn in your skull emojis, Wazowski?”
I love you.
You know that.
*maniacal laughing that could be mistaken for the joker having a seizure*
8:00
When I was 4, I wrote my letter to Santa. I also decided to write to John Lennon on the back and I asked him for a stopwatch and a volcano.
wtf would a 4 yr old do with a stopwatch and a volcano helppp 😭😭😭
@justmeherethereandeverywhere idk i was a random kid
@@blizzard_the_seal9863 To time the eruptions, of course. Duh.
These are more comprehensible compared to whatever I wrote when I was 8.
And some of them had better handwriting than i do now
@@fh9061same
@@fh9061As a native speaker of a language with cyrillics, I still don't understand how you all write latin so neatly and quickly, even children...
@@fh9061 I shamefully admit to my handwriting still being terrible if I’m not careful enough.
Ok but for the first one how is their handwriting so good for a 6 year old?!
When I was in preschool I wrote a short story about Bob Saget losing all of his blood and bones. He was saved, however, when the police were called on him.
Ouch… that story aged poorly, lol
Yipes ! I wonder what really happened to him.
When I was in 2nd or 3rd Grade, an assignment we had to do was write and illustrate our own book. I decided to write a book about a bulldog named Norman. He gets adopted from the pound and meets another female bulldog named Nelly, and they both fall in love. They have a nice walk along the street, then get jumped by three alley cats, who proceed to beat the hell out of them. The book ended with the owners finding two pairs of bloody, dismembered ears.
THE END
…..the ending 💀💀💀
I remember this drawing I made at a summer camp when I was around 10. It had a Minecraft creeper falling into lava, with an arrow through its head, a guillotine blade going sideways towards its head, and an anvil falling on its head all at the same time. It drew the creeper to say “*sobs*” and “aieeee!” And there was someone else in the drawing which I presume to be a Minecraft player in the form of a stick person saying “Har, har, har!” or “Die, creeper!” I guess I hated every Minecraft monster in existence back then.
This video really helped brighten up my final moments dying in Drogheda hospital with pneumonia. Thanks Matt!
bye
bye
Did I just witness someome die in a comment?