Remember to subscribe if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ Emotional Addiction playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-74oPWd0R4eq1MDAGj60M7 ▶The Reason You “Act Out”: Why You Are Pulled To Unhealthy Habits I Breaking Emotional Addiction #2 ruclips.net/video/F_vfnYsrigs/видео.html ▶Emotionally Addicted To Shame & Feeling Worthless & How To Develop Self Esteem ruclips.net/video/UvXI-31QhwY/видео.html “Our nervous system and our unconscious addiction to keeping it in a highly activated state is at the heart of many of our psychological and physical symptoms.” (Nicole LePera)
These are great ideas, because I am the oldest of 9 kids and my mom is/was histrionic emotional noodle person who couldn't do anything alone and depended on her kids. So I keep myself feeling distracted, emotional and disregulated. I give all my love to men who don't or can't understand me as a person... so recently I became obsessed with a guy who I briefly dated and I can't get over him!!! I have observed myself as I will wake up happy and eventually return to the same sad feeling that feels safe or something. It's not truly safe it's awful. Great video, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience and observations. It can be quite an aha-moment when we see our mind going into certain patterns and emotions just because they are familiar, isn't it?!
I was very neglected as a child, always alone and always doing things on my own. So now when things get hard I completely shut down and isolate myself, I don’t like sharing my emotions, mainly out of feeling like a burden. And I don’t like asking for help, i am very independent. I have gone through lots of therapy to even realize these things about myself, and I am now working on relearning my negative behaviors.
Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you grew up in a very empty emotional atmosphere. It makes sense this affected you all the way into adulthood. I'm glad to hear you've gained so much insight into your patterns and that you're working on leaving them behind. All the best 💖
Dear Dr Maika, I am currently on this journey of self-discovery and in the midst of healing. This is a timely video and I appreciate the time and effort you've invested to post your content on RUclips. It has helped me to understand a little more about myself and I look forward to watching your other videos as well. Love, June
Dear June, welcome to the channel, good to have you here! I'm glad to hear you're finding my content helpful for your journey. All the best to you and hopefully lots more insights from other videos!
I’ve been in therapy for a while now but during this video was the first time I wanted to be better for ME and not just for my child. I want a new feel for life.
Very insightful video, Maika. Thank you! Although 'emotional addiction' is probably the most compelling terminology, I think it's closer to the truth that we get habituated to certain emotional atmospheres. A child simply accepts that the emotional atmosphere in her/his home is "normal" and is thus habituated to that brand of normal. And it does follow that, as an adult, s/he will gravitate towards people who re-/create that atmosphere for her/him ... for better or worse, depending on what her/his brand of 'normal' was. Humans are also creatures of habit, after all. ~ You've provided some great insight over the past year, Dr Steinborn. Thanks again!
Thank you for your comment, for sharing your thoughts and elaborating on this. Very well put, I find. And I agree, the term „emotional addiction“ is compelling - to me since it drives the message home well (as a metaphor) - but I wouldn‘t use it as more than that at this point in time. I‘ll definitely be keeping an eye out for how the use of this term develops in the future in professional contexts, but if it were to be used more, it definitely needs explaining, especially since it‘s not in the same category as addictions to substances or gambling.
When I was a kid I used to feel isolated from my classmates, I have been able to let go those feelings go for quite a long time but I still feel they're always there, in the back of my mind waiting to get out I crave for more human contact sometimes and it's really something that makes overthink how people think of me, especially with people from my past.
Thanks for sharing! It's great you're aware of those feelings, that you've worked on them and seen progress. I've also got a video specifically on emotional addiction to isolation/loneliness, this might be interesting for you: "Emotionally Addicted To Loneliness, Exclusion & Isolation | How To Deal With Loneliness" ruclips.net/video/ADeq6ElYQv4/видео.html
Thank you Maika, that video gives a lot to think about. For all who watched this video I wish, your parents created an emotional enviroment that is worth keeping.
Glad it resonated with you! 🌸✨ For most people their parents created a mix of emotions that we need to sort through as adults - some to keep, some to work through and let go of.
I just found your channel and the videos I watched thus far have been very useful. You explain things in a clear and organized manner that help me understand my emotional states better and give me hope that change is possible with attention, perseverance, and hard work. Thank you for this channel.
Thank you for the encouraging comment, I'm very glad to hear my videos have been helpful. Hope you get lots more support from future videos. Welcome to the channel!
Thank you again for giving hope:) so often I catch myself fall into the same pattern and lose hope that it can ever change even if I work really hard. Would love to hear more on this topic❤️💐
Glad you got sth from this ❤️ It‘s definately very possible to change ✨ It takes attention and work, but it‘s very possible. I want to keep this and related topics in focus for this channel.
Great talk, thank you very much Dra Mayca. I've really identify with it. Even though my actual life is great in many ways I keep getting this negative feelings that exhaust mu energy and affects my partner. I will follow you and your recommendations 🙏inmense gratitude
Yes, these are common feelings to be addicted to in the sense that we keep falling back into them because that's what it feels like to be ourselves to us, and because we're used to the stress-level they create. It's really helpful to see this dynamic, so we can step out of it, step by step, and learn to live life based on different, more helpful, feelings.
Damn you God Smacked me. Hope to share with my daughter. I hate keep reminding her how I was a bad parent so I hope she sees i want us to heal. Cause I hope it don't spread to my Grandchild from me to mine an to he's. Brake the cycle! Thank you!
This was really good. Can you please make a part 2 and part 3 on this same topic? I think this is so valuable and a lot of ways to dissect this because it interjects many peoples lives even on a minute by minute basis. Hope that makes sense. Thank you for reading.
Thank you! I'm glad the video was helpful and thanks for the suggestion/question. I'll think about what a part 2, 3 could look like. It makes sense that this is an important topic. Getting out of unhelpful patterns and into ones that help us thrive, is a core theme of this channel, so I'll definitely get back to this in some way or another.
@jomy matthews, I made a part 2 🙂 The Reason You “Act Out”: Why You Are Pulled To Unhealthy Habits I Breaking Emotional Addiction #2 ruclips.net/video/F_vfnYsrigs/видео.html
Probably this video is good & very good clear speach 👍, however I will have to listen to it again, because it seemed very theoretical and I did not understand how to tie it with my life.
Thanks for the feedback! 🙂🙏🏻 One practical conclusion could be to ask: what‘s an unhelpful mental state/situation I experience repeatedly? How am I creating this mental state / situation because I‘m „addicted“ to feeling it? For example, some people get into anger-driven arguments repeatedly and understanding this dynamic of emotional „addiction“ helps them realize that a) although that may feel normal due to their past, it doesn‘t have to be and b) how they are causing these arguments by perhaps provoking others, hanging out with angry people, picking unfortunate moments to bring up issues, interpreting neutral statements as an attack etc…
@@DrMaikaSteinborn wow that’s so insightful. Especially the statement about interpreting neutral statements as an attack. It’s powerful and really inspires me to change
@@beatriceanobah6388 I'm so glad to hear you found value for your life in this video. Being aware of our own projections is one of the most life-changing mindshifts we can make.
I tried to stop stalking him and to going back to him but every time I tried I failed and it's been like a whole year may be a 2 years more than this but whenever I try to forget it after sometime I go back and I stalking talk and I feel like being hopeless helpless at the same time I don't know what to do I am frustrated mentally exhausted please help me I don't know what should I do in this case when I am unable to hold myself to not go back to not look there in the past not living it am done 😭😭😭
"We chase and we relish emotions, that sums up human life". That comes from a deeply twisted and shortsighted anthropological view of what a human personality is all about. By the mere fact that you recognize how emotional impulses can impair human volition, you know that there's a vocation for fiding experiences that lead humans to lasting experiences, which aren't chased because of the emotions, on the contrary. Change your anthropological perspective and you won't perceive a disfunctional phenomena as the underlying dynamics of human life. Your only distiction is between good and bad emotions in which we are viciously trapped. No, good feelings enslave men just as well. The damages of Freud's view of mankind are still present...
Yes, it feels normal. But also get really physically sick when I'm in it. Gets a stress and pain in the body like cattle running towards a burning house. Feeling confused and doubting myself. I have not felt this way with everyone I meet. But when I felt like this. With someone I thought it was love. Getting addicted to this. But know better today after much work on myself. This is my bottle and I have to go. So it's not about the other but how I feel. So I have to remove myself. Not shitty but tell and be honest. I probably can't go on. Open honest and vulnerable. Be honest about how I feel to myself and others. Also got a nervous system that ran amok and was a total rollercoaster. I also see in retrospect that the ones I met that I received like this. Have they been chaos around. But they have also reminded me of my family. Blurred boundaries and everything up and down. Now I take care of myself. Seeing how much I also abandoned myself. Became an abandoholic. See patterns that the ones I met are there but not there. In this I found myself. But toughest trip I've done. Never abandon me again. Iam the love of my life first.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and that you’ve worked on yourself a lot and realized many helpful truths. That authenticity you mentioned about being honest about how you feel is so crucial 💯 All the best to you!
I'm sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, I don't have the capacity for counseling, but of course, there are many other good psychologists out there... I've heard that www.betterhelp.com offers good online counseling and therapy, this could be worth a try. Also, Emma McAdam has a lot of wonderful videos on her channel explaining how to calm down anxiety and other difficult states of being: ruclips.net/user/TherapyinaNutshell I wish you all the best
Hi Harry! 🙏 At the moment I don't take on clients, I'm fully dedicated to creating resources, videos and courses. If this should change, I'll definitely announce it and let people know how to reach me, though...
Amazing! Thank you for your reply! Your video has already helped me to see the beginning of the route cause!! So thank you!! I’ll be keeping my phone near by ready to watch your upcoming videos!! 🥰
I'm glad the video was helpful! And welcome to the channel :-) If you ever have a question, let me know, then I can see if and how I can address it in upcoming videos...
Wow, ok, that's very specific! I usuall have more of an approach on this channel of explaining general mechanisms underlying different types of experiences and challenges, so I don't get into these very specific cases, but maybe something on that more general level will come up that you can apply...
Yes, if it’s about remembering and recreating the strengthening and beautiful things we‘ve experienced 💯. It’s only unhelpful to recreate the past when that past is actually hurting us.
Remember to subscribe if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one:
▶ Emotional Addiction playlist:
ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-74oPWd0R4eq1MDAGj60M7
▶The Reason You “Act Out”: Why You Are Pulled To Unhealthy Habits I Breaking Emotional Addiction #2
ruclips.net/video/F_vfnYsrigs/видео.html
▶Emotionally Addicted To Shame & Feeling Worthless & How To Develop Self Esteem
ruclips.net/video/UvXI-31QhwY/видео.html
“Our nervous system and our unconscious addiction to keeping it in a highly activated state is at the heart of many of our psychological and physical symptoms.” (Nicole LePera)
I’m addicted to anxiousness, procrastination and fear & shame. Ugh. My coffee triples it.
Thanks for sharing this with us. It's tremendously empowering to be aware of ths, it can be one of the most important steps on a journey of change.
This is the root cause of me failing in my past relationships. Thank you so much.
I‘m glad this was helpful. Understanding the patterns of emotional addiction in our life is a powerful change catalyst 💖 All the best to you!
These are great ideas, because I am the oldest of 9 kids and my mom is/was histrionic emotional noodle person who couldn't do anything alone and depended on her kids. So I keep myself feeling distracted, emotional and disregulated. I give all my love to men who don't or can't understand me as a person... so recently I became obsessed with a guy who I briefly dated and I can't get over him!!! I have observed myself as I will wake up happy and eventually return to the same sad feeling that feels safe or something. It's not truly safe it's awful. Great video, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience and observations. It can be quite an aha-moment when we see our mind going into certain patterns and emotions just because they are familiar, isn't it?!
What was so addicting about him?
I was very neglected as a child, always alone and always doing things on my own. So now when things get hard I completely shut down and isolate myself, I don’t like sharing my emotions, mainly out of feeling like a burden. And I don’t like asking for help, i am very independent.
I have gone through lots of therapy to even realize these things about myself, and I am now working on relearning my negative behaviors.
Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you grew up in a very empty emotional atmosphere. It makes sense this affected you all the way into adulthood. I'm glad to hear you've gained so much insight into your patterns and that you're working on leaving them behind. All the best 💖
Dear Dr Maika, I am currently on this journey of self-discovery and in the midst of healing. This is a timely video and I appreciate the time and effort you've invested to post your content on RUclips. It has helped me to understand a little more about myself and I look forward to watching your other videos as well. Love, June
Dear June, welcome to the channel, good to have you here! I'm glad to hear you're finding my content helpful for your journey. All the best to you and hopefully lots more insights from other videos!
I’ve been in therapy for a while now but during this video was the first time I wanted to be better for ME and not just for my child. I want a new feel for life.
Love you❤ for opening my emotional eye. I love you….🥰
AMAZING VIDEO!!!! The answer to all my problems
Very insightful video, Maika. Thank you! Although 'emotional addiction' is probably the most compelling terminology, I think it's closer to the truth that we get habituated to certain emotional atmospheres. A child simply accepts that the emotional atmosphere in her/his home is "normal" and is thus habituated to that brand of normal. And it does follow that, as an adult, s/he will gravitate towards people who re-/create that atmosphere for her/him ... for better or worse, depending on what her/his brand of 'normal' was. Humans are also creatures of habit, after all. ~ You've provided some great insight over the past year, Dr Steinborn. Thanks again!
Thank you for your comment, for sharing your thoughts and elaborating on this. Very well put, I find. And I agree, the term „emotional addiction“ is compelling - to me since it drives the message home well (as a metaphor) - but I wouldn‘t use it as more than that at this point in time. I‘ll definitely be keeping an eye out for how the use of this term develops in the future in professional contexts, but if it were to be used more, it definitely needs explaining, especially since it‘s not in the same category as addictions to substances or gambling.
When I was a kid I used to feel isolated from my classmates, I have been able to let go those feelings go for quite a long time but I still feel they're always there, in the back of my mind waiting to get out
I crave for more human contact sometimes and it's really something that makes overthink how people think of me, especially with people from my past.
Thanks for sharing! It's great you're aware of those feelings, that you've worked on them and seen progress. I've also got a video specifically on emotional addiction to isolation/loneliness, this might be interesting for you: "Emotionally Addicted To Loneliness, Exclusion & Isolation | How To Deal With Loneliness" ruclips.net/video/ADeq6ElYQv4/видео.html
This is great! Thank you
Thank you
🙂🙏🏻🌷
Thank you Maika, that video gives a lot to think about. For all who watched this video I wish, your parents created an emotional enviroment that is worth keeping.
Glad it resonated with you! 🌸✨ For most people their parents created a mix of emotions that we need to sort through as adults - some to keep, some to work through and let go of.
Thank you. This helps me a lot!!!!!
That‘s great 🙏🏻✨🌸 All the best!
I love your statement after the video was coming to an end. That was very supportive and not just about the message you sending out. Thank you!
❤️
I can change my patterns!!
💯
how true it is!! Bravo Doctora Maika!
Glad it resonated with you!
Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!
🙂 I‘m glad this resonated with you ☺️
Thank you. You explain everything so clear.
So brilliant as always, thank you so much!
Thank you! ❤️
Thank you 😊
🌸
Thank you, great video
🙂✨
very good video very well explained in a clear and consise way
Thank you! Glad it was helpful ☀️
I like what your talking about. A lot of Joe Dispenza talks about.
Yeah, it's so empowering to become aware of these inner forces 💯
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR MAKING THESE VIDEOS! CHEERS!
Glad they resonate with you!
I just found your channel and the videos I watched thus far have been very useful. You explain things in a clear and organized manner that help me understand my emotional states better and give me hope that change is possible with attention, perseverance, and hard work. Thank you for this channel.
Thank you for the encouraging comment, I'm very glad to hear my videos have been helpful. Hope you get lots more support from future videos. Welcome to the channel!
Good video definitely gave me helpful insights
That’s great ☀️🙏🏻
Thank you for this video! This has been such an interesting topic and also the way it was presented made it even more compelling for me.
I'm glad to hear this! Thank you!
Thank you again for giving hope:) so often I catch myself fall into the same pattern and lose hope that it can ever change even if I work really hard. Would love to hear more on this topic❤️💐
Glad you got sth from this ❤️ It‘s definately very possible to change ✨ It takes attention and work, but it‘s very possible. I want to keep this and related topics in focus for this channel.
great insight, thx!
Glad you liked this!
Thank you for another valuable tool 🙏🌸
🌺🌸🌼
Thanks 🙏🏻💖
🌸
Thankyou so much
Great talk, thank you very much Dra Mayca.
I've really identify with it.
Even though my actual life is great in many ways I keep getting this negative feelings that exhaust mu energy and affects my partner.
I will follow you and your recommendations 🙏inmense gratitude
I'm glad this was helpful to you. Welcome here!
Could someone be addicted to feelings like shame and fear??
Yes, these are common feelings to be addicted to in the sense that we keep falling back into them because that's what it feels like to be ourselves to us, and because we're used to the stress-level they create. It's really helpful to see this dynamic, so we can step out of it, step by step, and learn to live life based on different, more helpful, feelings.
Great video thank you!
🙂🙏🏻
Damn you God Smacked me. Hope to share with my daughter. I hate keep reminding her how I was a bad parent so I hope she sees i want us to heal. Cause I hope it don't spread to my Grandchild from me to mine an to he's. Brake the cycle! Thank you!
All the best!
This was really good. Can you please make a part 2 and part 3 on this same topic? I think this is so valuable and a lot of ways to dissect this because it interjects many peoples lives even on a minute by minute basis. Hope that makes sense. Thank you for reading.
Thank you! I'm glad the video was helpful and thanks for the suggestion/question. I'll think about what a part 2, 3 could look like. It makes sense that this is an important topic. Getting out of unhelpful patterns and into ones that help us thrive, is a core theme of this channel, so I'll definitely get back to this in some way or another.
@jomy matthews, I made a part 2 🙂 The Reason You “Act Out”: Why You Are Pulled To Unhealthy Habits I Breaking Emotional Addiction #2 ruclips.net/video/F_vfnYsrigs/видео.html
Brilliant
Probably this video is good & very good clear speach 👍, however I will have to listen to it again, because it seemed very theoretical and I did not understand how to tie it with my life.
Thanks for the feedback! 🙂🙏🏻 One practical conclusion could be to ask: what‘s an unhelpful mental state/situation I experience repeatedly? How am I creating this mental state / situation because I‘m „addicted“ to feeling it? For example, some people get into anger-driven arguments repeatedly and understanding this dynamic of emotional „addiction“ helps them realize that a) although that may feel normal due to their past, it doesn‘t have to be and b) how they are causing these arguments by perhaps provoking others, hanging out with angry people, picking unfortunate moments to bring up issues, interpreting neutral statements as an attack etc…
@@DrMaikaSteinborn wow that’s so insightful. Especially the statement about interpreting neutral statements as an attack. It’s powerful and really inspires me to change
@@beatriceanobah6388 I'm so glad to hear you found value for your life in this video. Being aware of our own projections is one of the most life-changing mindshifts we can make.
i grew up in a dirty enviromentand hunger limitations and lack .ive been in a cycle of lack on and off
I‘m sorry to hear of your struggle. What you shared about the circumstances of your upbringing sounds tough. I wish you all the best 🌷
I tried to stop stalking him and to going back to him but every time I tried I failed and it's been like a whole year may be a 2 years more than this but whenever I try to forget it after sometime I go back and I stalking talk and I feel like being hopeless helpless at the same time I don't know what to do I am frustrated mentally exhausted please help me I don't know what should I do in this case when I am unable to hold myself to not go back to not look there in the past not living it am done 😭😭😭
This was very good but I do not think the word addiction fits here. But I get the point.
Glad you liked the video! I get what you mean about the term - I‘ve thought a lot about it…
"We chase and we relish emotions, that sums up human life". That comes from a deeply twisted and shortsighted anthropological view of what a human personality is all about. By the mere fact that you recognize how emotional impulses can impair human volition, you know that there's a vocation for fiding experiences that lead humans to lasting experiences, which aren't chased because of the emotions, on the contrary. Change your anthropological perspective and you won't perceive a disfunctional phenomena as the underlying dynamics of human life. Your only distiction is between good and bad emotions in which we are viciously trapped. No, good feelings enslave men just as well. The damages of Freud's view of mankind are still present...
What happened to the garden? That wall is hurting my eyes.
Well, it‘s either the wall & flipchart or the flower background & no flipchart and I find the flipchart very helpful in getting the points across.
@@DrMaikaSteinborn I'm smelling an emotional addiction to flip charts here... is this your preference or a necessity? :-)
@@redblueiris :-D I prefer what makes the topics most understandable and most of the people I get feedback from find the flipcharts really helpful.
I’m scared to live
Same, it’s like I’m not prepared for the world
Yes, it feels normal. But also get really physically sick when I'm in it. Gets a stress and pain in the body like cattle running towards a burning house. Feeling confused and doubting myself. I have not felt this way with everyone I meet. But when I felt like this. With someone I thought it was love. Getting addicted to this. But know better today after much work on myself. This is my bottle and I have to go. So it's not about the other but how I feel. So I have to remove myself. Not shitty but tell and be honest. I probably can't go on. Open honest and vulnerable. Be honest about how I feel to myself and others. Also got a nervous system that ran amok and was a total rollercoaster. I also see in retrospect that the ones I met that I received like this. Have they been chaos around. But they have also reminded me of my family. Blurred boundaries and everything up and down. Now I take care of myself. Seeing how much I also abandoned myself. Became an abandoholic. See patterns that the ones I met are there but not there. In this I found myself. But toughest trip I've done. Never abandon me again. Iam the love of my life first.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and that you’ve worked on yourself a lot and realized many helpful truths. That authenticity you mentioned about being honest about how you feel is so crucial 💯 All the best to you!
💯💯💯
Dr I need help , my body is always stressing out feeling burning sensation everyday n my mind cont rest please help
I'm sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, I don't have the capacity for counseling, but of course, there are many other good psychologists out there... I've heard that www.betterhelp.com offers good online counseling and therapy, this could be worth a try. Also, Emma McAdam has a lot of wonderful videos on her channel explaining how to calm down anxiety and other difficult states of being: ruclips.net/user/TherapyinaNutshell I wish you all the best
Hi Dr Maika,
I’m in the UK, I’m wondering if you take on clients via video call.
Thanks 🙏
Harry
Hi Harry! 🙏 At the moment I don't take on clients, I'm fully dedicated to creating resources, videos and courses. If this should change, I'll definitely announce it and let people know how to reach me, though...
Amazing! Thank you for your reply! Your video has already helped me to see the beginning of the route cause!! So thank you!! I’ll be keeping my phone near by ready to watch your upcoming videos!! 🥰
I'm glad the video was helpful! And welcome to the channel :-) If you ever have a question, let me know, then I can see if and how I can address it in upcoming videos...
Wow, ok, that's very specific! I usuall have more of an approach on this channel of explaining general mechanisms underlying different types of experiences and challenges, so I don't get into these very specific cases, but maybe something on that more general level will come up that you can apply...
❤
👍
✨
maybe nostalgia is not so bad after all as some research points to its healthy purpose
Yes, if it’s about remembering and recreating the strengthening and beautiful things we‘ve experienced 💯. It’s only unhelpful to recreate the past when that past is actually hurting us.
anger
I wish you all the best for creating the kind of emotional atmosphere for your life that makes you happy ❤️
thank you.
🙂🌼
Thank you
Glad there was something in this for you!
Thank you
🌷