27 Men Killed in Afghanistan - ONN Autistic Reporter

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  • Опубликовано: 1 фев 2025

Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @noneofyourbusiness4133
    @noneofyourbusiness4133 4 года назад +6196

    “This means if we all join the taliban, no one will be sad.”

  • @AndyDuphresne
    @AndyDuphresne 4 года назад +11812

    I wish they’d get him to do interviews with people who don’t know it’s the onion

    • @HanadiH
      @HanadiH 3 года назад +96

      Yes!!!!!

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile 3 года назад +194

      eric andre show should pick him up

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile 3 года назад +80

      @joey duckett dang, look at professor comedy over here

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile 3 года назад +1

      @joey duckett lmao I use the "Ted talk" bit a bunch. Cheers

    • @StealtheX64
      @StealtheX64 3 года назад +1

      @joey duckett idk bro, Eric Andre pulls it off pretty well

  • @professorsirpirate3180
    @professorsirpirate3180 4 года назад +5117

    But the question is, can you stack the Taliban?

    • @noneofyourbusiness4133
      @noneofyourbusiness4133 4 года назад +34

      Dang, this is amaxing

    • @noonedude101
      @noonedude101 3 года назад +69

      You can if you are a soldier

    • @User-yr2us
      @User-yr2us 3 года назад +40

      @@noonedude101 how do I become a soldier

    • @XRoyBatty6
      @XRoyBatty6 3 года назад +77

      @@User-yr2us I don't think you understand - being a soldier means you have to adhere to a very rigid routine.

    • @willmcpherson2
      @willmcpherson2 3 года назад +49

      *I LIKE TO STACK*

  • @PuadafaProductions
    @PuadafaProductions 4 года назад +10415

    I love that he speaks fluently in that language

    • @TomasPabon
      @TomasPabon 4 года назад +482

      Pashto, jesus people learn a bit about the countries your nation is invading.

    • @TomasPabon
      @TomasPabon 4 года назад +385

      @Mister Emm real edgy, Jingo

    • @Lambda_Ovine
      @Lambda_Ovine 4 года назад +297

      @Mister Emm That does not make sense, everyone has a unique set of vocal cords, giving them a unique scream. Not to mention that people tend to scream expressions of desperation in their native language while in terror.

    • @joshuacrommie6249
      @joshuacrommie6249 3 года назад +21

      دې ته پښتون وايي

    • @joshuacrommie6249
      @joshuacrommie6249 3 года назад +62

      @Mister Emm جهالت په امریکا کې یوه ناروغي ده

  • @Yggi11
    @Yggi11 6 лет назад +11907

    I am on the autistic spectrum, and I am offended that no one told me about these hilarious videos sooner.

    • @Daz_killer
      @Daz_killer 4 года назад +53

      Same

    • @Daz_killer
      @Daz_killer 4 года назад +24

      @@chickenplay8208 i will change it,it's outdated anyway

    • @theporcupine9993
      @theporcupine9993 3 года назад +11

      how much sooner would you have to find this video without being offended ?

    • @AnthonyR007
      @AnthonyR007 3 года назад +4

      Same

    • @blackog7820
      @blackog7820 3 года назад +51

      @@theporcupine9993As soon as the onion came out with them. Anyway, it's a joke. Good joke.

  • @aredeekayve7237
    @aredeekayve7237 10 лет назад +9858

    I like how Ryan from work is in the same category as taliban on the chart. God Bless you onion

    • @bigchungus8108
      @bigchungus8108 5 лет назад +56

      Dont forget obama

    • @maxberardi2146
      @maxberardi2146 3 года назад +43

      and that teachers is left blank

    • @JohnSmith-zq9mo
      @JohnSmith-zq9mo 3 года назад +4

      @@maxberardi2146 Think that he was just asking the commander to classify teachers.

    • @EnclosedPoolArea
      @EnclosedPoolArea 3 года назад +1

      Exactly. That Taliban wasn't THAT bad.

    • @Washthebrain
      @Washthebrain 3 года назад +1

      And Obama 😂

  • @Dr3amtime
    @Dr3amtime 3 года назад +5691

    "They put a bag on my head, which made me stop thinking." : - )

    • @lewisdean22
      @lewisdean22 3 года назад +93

      Am the same when someone switches the microwave on.

    • @dethronemybone4720
      @dethronemybone4720 3 года назад +51

      That comment wouldn’t work so well without that stretched out smile lmaoooo

    • @canuck2444
      @canuck2444 3 года назад +44

      Well it's confirmed, he has the intelligence of a falcon.

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 3 года назад +8

      @@canuck2444
      Is that a compliment or a criticism?

    • @DarrinDarwinacious
      @DarrinDarwinacious 3 года назад +12

      @@zhouwu it’s a joke

  • @StarFoth
    @StarFoth 6 лет назад +1775

    I love how The Onion actually had one of the graphics designers or whatever actually put up the list on how to join the Taliban.

  • @daved2352
    @daved2352 3 года назад +4332

    This is a surprisingly well observed depiction of a person with asd. I enjoyed how the autistic man wasn't the butt of the joke but the medium through which the comedy is revealed in the ridiculous nature of things we take for granted. Its refreshing to see.

    • @abadida
      @abadida 3 года назад +82

      your comment is almost too smart for youtube haha

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 года назад +104

      @@abadida yeah apparently five months ago I was having a smart day.

    • @trickytreyperfected1482
      @trickytreyperfected1482 3 года назад +33

      @@daved2352 we all have those days. For me personally, not very often lol

    • @xerotolerant
      @xerotolerant 3 года назад +25

      lol I think the actor himself is actually autistic. Though his performance is exaggerated

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 года назад +12

      @@xerotolerant thats good to know. I do prefer when they use people from a certain demographic to portray that demographic. It almost always works better

  • @isabuckles
    @isabuckles 3 года назад +3604

    I love how he's stubborn enough with his line of questioning to force the base commander into explaining state monopolization of the use of force.

    • @Wells13555
      @Wells13555 3 года назад +11

      Wild

    • @TheLifeOfKane
      @TheLifeOfKane 3 года назад +35

      That's not what a monopoly is.
      Monopoly doesn't mean one entity controls it.
      Monopoly is an excessive amount of control over the supply or trade.
      You are describing authority figures throughout history, which is fine. Humans are tribal beasts, we prefer to trust elders with final judgement

    • @abbiereynolds8016
      @abbiereynolds8016 3 года назад +199

      @@TheLifeOfKane No no no you're wrong!
      Monopoly is a game.

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX 3 года назад +68

      Autistic people tend to be blunt and dont like or use deception or double speak thats why some people find it hard to speak with them, especially ones that are pathological liars its like their kryptonite

    • @abbiereynolds8016
      @abbiereynolds8016 3 года назад +22

      @@NeostormXLMAX Yeah it's true. My brother is autistic and sometimes he comes out with some real zingers sometimes that makes us want to die inside, but on the plus side he's terrible at lying.

  • @ipeqi
    @ipeqi 10 лет назад +1274

    The autistic reporter of ONN is the best. I wish there was a show just with him.

    • @NellieKAdaba
      @NellieKAdaba 9 лет назад +15

      +Nalan Aeon I agree, because I know about what it's like to be autistic and being socially awkward.

    • @lendial
      @lendial 7 лет назад +35

      he needs his own news program

    • @AmericanDreamer
      @AmericanDreamer 7 лет назад +19

      yeah, me too....ONION - pls bring him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @tengkualiff
      @tengkualiff 6 лет назад +1

      but u can watch the good doctor xD

    • @destubae3271
      @destubae3271 3 года назад

      Nathan For You is somewhat close

  • @hypermaxis1785
    @hypermaxis1785 11 лет назад +2397

    This reporter is the best

  • @crsc3095
    @crsc3095 3 года назад +777

    "They put a bag on my head, which made me stop thinking." BRUH LMFAO

    • @hyikun8123
      @hyikun8123 3 года назад +1

      I don't get it

    • @dravenocklost4253
      @dravenocklost4253 3 года назад +6

      I need that bag every once in a while

    • @user5214
      @user5214 3 года назад +74

      @@hyikun8123 I think it has to do with how autistic people don't deal well with lots of sensory input, and putting a bag over his head makes the thoughts stop.

    • @johnnymcblaze
      @johnnymcblaze 3 года назад +1

      @@user5214 That makes no sense.

    • @hyikun8123
      @hyikun8123 3 года назад +31

      @@johnnymcblaze >says it makes no sense but doesn't explain why
      lol

  • @elyastoohey6621
    @elyastoohey6621 3 года назад +738

    I love how he puts it into completely utilitarian points of view. “A group of men shot at another group of men”
    “This is sgt Tubman, he is only sad about four of the dead men”

    • @snaek2594
      @snaek2594 3 года назад +2

      Agree.

    • @Thawhid
      @Thawhid 3 года назад

      Agreed.

    • @ahG7na4
      @ahG7na4 8 месяцев назад +1

      "it's just two capitalisms, bro"

  • @brettcleland543
    @brettcleland543 6 лет назад +3523

    Give this actor an award ! Nailed it ( I’ve got a son on the spectrum ). Love how he spoke a perfect 2nd language too Lol . On a personal level.....Ryan needs to be dealt with

    • @ToyDirigible
      @ToyDirigible 3 года назад +11

      BOOMER

    • @MartianMoon
      @MartianMoon 3 года назад +153

      @@ToyDirigible stfu zoomer

    • @Govaand
      @Govaand 3 года назад +50

      God bless your son, much love from sweden

    • @romeunleashed2
      @romeunleashed2 3 года назад +3

      I am on the spectrum and this isn't that close.

    • @graegoles8382
      @graegoles8382 3 года назад +55

      @@romeunleashed2 thing about the spectrum is that its a literal spectrum, a "range" of symptoms. for some people on the spectrum this is a carbon copy, for some its miles off.

  • @lupen_rein
    @lupen_rein 10 лет назад +1372

    I almost died from laughter :P.
    Join the taliban and we'll all be happy :D

  • @MyChemicalBromance
    @MyChemicalBromance 13 лет назад +1788

    I love this. Michael had a better grasp of how pointless war is than anyone else there. Beautiful Satire.

  • @LushSSB
    @LushSSB 3 года назад +436

    Finally, a reporter who’s not afraid to speak the truth

    • @coachtyler4222
      @coachtyler4222 3 года назад +6

      what truth who tf cares about the taliban

    • @luukdevoogd1071
      @luukdevoogd1071 3 года назад +13

      @@coachtyler4222 Man, I can't believe some people are thinking this is serious and not a joke. Stupid

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX 3 года назад +6

      @@coachtyler4222 Taliban won. Its ok to forget about it

    • @pharaohsmagician8329
      @pharaohsmagician8329 3 года назад +6

      @@coachtyler4222 who cares about American soldiers. Clearly not the Americans who pay them $1 a month in VA

    • @elena6516
      @elena6516 3 года назад +1

      @@coachtyler4222 too dumb for The Onion

  • @JTSexkik
    @JTSexkik 13 лет назад +1632

    oh god my sides

    • @w4drone720
      @w4drone720 4 года назад +17

      nice to see ya here, nine years later

    • @seriouspain4136
      @seriouspain4136 3 года назад +4

      It’s been nine years

    • @roydelpottinger954
      @roydelpottinger954 3 года назад +5

      Do you still use this account

    • @dingiskhan984
      @dingiskhan984 3 года назад

      Wow very unexpected lol

    • @A407RAC
      @A407RAC 3 года назад

      @@w4drone720 you are the reason the algorithm sent me this video....
      thank u

  • @elisakrivas
    @elisakrivas 3 года назад +154

    As an autistic myself, I love this. Ryan has more sense than anyone else there, but is also hilarious in not understanding things that most people find as common sense! This is brilliant!

    • @ShaneFleming2016
      @ShaneFleming2016 3 года назад +5

      Same I'm on the spectrum too. I'm dead. 💀💀

    • @abdul-kabiralegbe5660
      @abdul-kabiralegbe5660 Год назад

      Which leads me to believe you're not on the spectrum.

    • @elisakrivas
      @elisakrivas Год назад +6

      @@abdul-kabiralegbe5660 of course, people fake being autistic because it’s so beneficial 🤣

    • @sodaaccount
      @sodaaccount Месяц назад

      @@elisakrivas I mean yeah sure! Didnt you get your [r-slur] card in the mail after being diagnosed? Its amazing! Whenever stuff gets overwhelming you just flash it and they dim the lights and speak in a low voice! And if you meltdown anyway they are understanding and wont ridicule you (or fire you at work...)
      And dont even get me started on the monetary benefits! Its like I could almost buy a single piece of chewing gum per week! If I survive just another million years or so, I will catch up to an average person without a disablility! Life can be soooo easy! /s

  • @caveatemp
    @caveatemp 7 лет назад +505

    This cuts deep. Really deep.

    • @efs3066
      @efs3066 7 лет назад +33

      caveatemp it'a both distressingly and hilariously accurate

    • @sillyhuman...
      @sillyhuman... 3 года назад

      It's more than that.

  • @laboskie349
    @laboskie349 3 года назад +418

    Side note: I'm just glad that they made the reporter somewhat believable, unlike what other media's do where they make autistic people either completely braindead or annoyingly eccentric, "colourful" and constantly spouting random shit out. As an autistic person myself, I can say that I don't need any kind support when it comes to mental health. But of course there is still people on the opposite side of the spectrum from me that are highly dependent. But almost never is it that bad where it gets to the point where my examples sake is.

    • @decespugliatorenucleare3780
      @decespugliatorenucleare3780 3 года назад +3

      if you truly were autistic you wouldn't have given a single fuck about this: you either have BPD, or have been simply parented like shit

    • @dtrcs9518
      @dtrcs9518 3 года назад +22

      @@decespugliatorenucleare3780 said the RUclips psychiatrist

    • @MsZsc
      @MsZsc 3 года назад +3

      FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST

    • @johnkitchens1823
      @johnkitchens1823 3 года назад

      @@dtrcs9518 he's probably watched a video on the subject of course he knows what he's talking about

  • @elvis316
    @elvis316 12 лет назад +384

    You are happy all of the time. Fucking genius.

    • @brianlam1663
      @brianlam1663 3 года назад +1

      The irony is that you would think that the Taliban is happy all the time: they possess a secret which allows them to know the will of God!
      Yet they're not happy with this knowledge!
      They want to kill everyone who doesn't believe their special secret!!
      So they are sad!
      So what is their ridiculous Talibanian religion worth!??

    • @Blei1986
      @Blei1986 3 года назад +3

      @@brianlam1663 bro, you just triggerd any actual (partly) autist with that comment
      the fuck am i reading ?

    • @sir2657
      @sir2657 3 года назад +2

      @@Blei1986 imagine triggering someone 10 years later

    • @Blei1986
      @Blei1986 3 года назад +2

      @@sir2657 don't care, his post was just pure bullshit
      (and it was from 2 weeks ago, i didn't reply to the first comment)

    • @ALLa3eb_AL3arabe
      @ALLa3eb_AL3arabe 3 года назад

      @@brianlam1663 You misunderstood Im a muslim, I live in the middle east(Jordan), But people can believe in whatever and live free , I have 3 Christian friends , And a neighbor from India who worships cows, But i treat them all with equal respect.

  • @miketacos9034
    @miketacos9034 3 года назад +224

    I love how he learned Pashto for this assignment. So talented and dedicated!

    • @ism333mx
      @ism333mx 3 года назад +6

      Then again, news reporting might be his special interest and those in the spectrum have one

    • @SynthApprentice
      @SynthApprentice 3 года назад +5

      Who said he learned it for the assignment?

    • @edwardfletcher7790
      @edwardfletcher7790 3 года назад +15

      I'm thinking he might have known a bit of Pashto before his acting career. He sounds pretty fluent.
      Unless he actually IS autistic and has a language obsession.
      This guy is so incredible in this role nothing would surprise me...

  • @lamborger
    @lamborger 12 лет назад +403

    The Taliban: your alternative to anti-depressants.

  • @yggdrasil9039
    @yggdrasil9039 8 лет назад +225

    He forgot to mention that the cubed root of 27 is 3.

    • @u.v.s.5583
      @u.v.s.5583 3 года назад +8

      @John Barber I can stack 42 in several different ways. Like 7 piles of corpses with 6 corpses in each, or 21 pairs of corpses neatly arranged in a circle, or even three groups, 14 corpses in each, 2 corpses for every day of the week...

    • @mccobsta
      @mccobsta 3 года назад

      He's not a real autistic a real autistic would have that painful clear and wouldn't have shut up about it soucre me bitches

    • @m1lfhunt3r
      @m1lfhunt3r 3 года назад

      why did i read it as rubed coot

    • @Imagoofygoober69420
      @Imagoofygoober69420 3 года назад +1

      @@mccobsta that statement was the most autistic thing here

    • @definitelynotavegan7285
      @definitelynotavegan7285 3 года назад

      @@mccobsta I can't tell if that's a joke or not...

  • @courtneykathleen2686
    @courtneykathleen2686 3 года назад +81

    Are you going to kill Ryan? I CANTTT 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

    • @halflifeepisode34980
      @halflifeepisode34980 3 года назад

      @John Barber look out. Here come the "simp" comments 🤣

    • @kitten_0078
      @kitten_0078 3 года назад +1

      @@halflifeepisode34980 yeah, you (jk)

  • @oiinahgiiusadurrybrahchuck7209
    @oiinahgiiusadurrybrahchuck7209 3 года назад +12

    “The last thing we resort to is hurting anyone”
    Too good

  • @georgiohenderson5998
    @georgiohenderson5998 7 лет назад +780

    I like how this reporter doesn't initially have a side, then decides after deep thought and serious interviewing. I say replace CNN with autists, better news, happier viewers, and most importantly, real news.

    • @Joesolo13
      @Joesolo13 6 лет назад +40

      Georgio Henderson so we're just canceling fox as a lost cause right?

    • @BigRed2
      @BigRed2 6 лет назад +1

      Joesolo13 This reporter is an idiot and shouldn’t work for mcdonald’s let alone a news agency , how did he get this job in the first place ?!

    • @0xCAFEF00D
      @0xCAFEF00D 6 лет назад +7

      Why are you replying to Joesolo13? Something you saw on Fox or what?

    • @jake-ip9vg
      @jake-ip9vg 6 лет назад +1

      this is CNN, cmon

    • @pix_d20
      @pix_d20 5 лет назад +11

      @@BigRed2 at least he's better than most reporters in mainstream media

  • @yellinghayfire4935
    @yellinghayfire4935 7 лет назад +63

    please bring him back he sustains life for me

  • @FlyingArmadillo
    @FlyingArmadillo 12 лет назад +119

    Micheal Falk for President

    • @bradcooley6567
      @bradcooley6567 7 лет назад +2

      FlyingArmadillo hell yeah

    • @Daz_killer
      @Daz_killer 4 года назад

      @@bradcooley6567 only if I could go back in time

  • @SquirrelGott
    @SquirrelGott 11 лет назад +797

    It's satire, they are pointing out the absurdity of how autistic people are represented or image people have of them is. It's over the top for that reason. I have high-functioning autism and I find this pretty funny. They made the soldiers look more foolish than the reporter, sure he was emotionally unbiased but at least his thoughts were very logical :D lol

    • @3dwiz3d18
      @3dwiz3d18 6 лет назад +22

      Squirrel it's the onion what did you expect?

    • @Ash-gc3bb
      @Ash-gc3bb 6 лет назад +6

      There making fun of autistic people BTW

    • @steventrotter1967
      @steventrotter1967 6 лет назад +12

      Shut it Chris Chan

    • @unsainted2240
      @unsainted2240 6 лет назад +10

      Without soldiers in a country there would be no established country, just chaos and constantly being invaded

    • @jackiefreeborn2563
      @jackiefreeborn2563 6 лет назад +3

      Squirrel If he’s solved the Afghan War with équations I’d agree with the first of your comment. The rest is spot on.

  • @Anangryviking
    @Anangryviking 12 лет назад +509

    It took me 1.56 seconds to get that. It was a joke. A joke about autism. An autism joke. I understand it now. It was funny. It was a funny joke.

    • @harveyknguyen
      @harveyknguyen 4 года назад +16

      funny. joke.

    • @harveyknguyen
      @harveyknguyen 4 года назад +7

      @j helicopter

    • @thecatalyst6212
      @thecatalyst6212 4 года назад +45

      @@harveyknguyen can you stack the joke

    • @harveyknguyen
      @harveyknguyen 4 года назад +9

      @@thecatalyst6212 no i can't sorry

    • @33blue
      @33blue 3 года назад +10

      @John Barber do you like Jenga because you get to stack blocks?

  • @oofmcoofy6769
    @oofmcoofy6769 2 года назад +8

    Rumors say after the news report was over, Michael Falk became Mohammed Al Falk

  • @okami912
    @okami912 11 лет назад +1095

    I thought I was gonna be offended but fuck this is funny

    • @Crabicus
      @Crabicus 10 лет назад +23

      ***** Yep and aliens abducted me yesterday!

    • @Crabicus
      @Crabicus 10 лет назад +26

      I never said they were I'm just saying calling all soldiers terrorists is a little far

    • @Crabicus
      @Crabicus 10 лет назад +19

      ***** then in that case all militaries are terrorists

    • @Crabicus
      @Crabicus 10 лет назад +1

      ***** if only we could solve the world's problems without the killing of millions

    • @okami912
      @okami912 9 лет назад +1

      Why do people still comment on this?

  • @benji_miller
    @benji_miller 8 лет назад +207

    That graphic organizer - killing Ryan from Work isn't sad. xD

  • @silasschramm
    @silasschramm 3 года назад +44

    the most hilarious part is how sick they made the 'war in afghanistan' logo lmfao

    • @TheHumanFly516
      @TheHumanFly516 3 года назад +1

      🤣 totally missed that! Lmao

    • @nunyabiznes33
      @nunyabiznes33 2 года назад +1

      The Onion's news segment logos are always over the top and it really gave that real news feel to it haha!

  • @danieljohnsopardenilla997
    @danieljohnsopardenilla997 3 года назад +17

    This aged so well

  • @manoflego123
    @manoflego123 3 года назад +99

    I'm autistic and this is so unrealistic and offensive... He didn't hyper fixate on nearly enough special interests when questioning other people lol.

    • @Te3time
      @Te3time 3 года назад +17

      Did you watch the train one

    • @LDuke-pc7kq
      @LDuke-pc7kq 3 года назад +15

      He did make a chart though

    • @The_Stumbler
      @The_Stumbler 3 года назад +1

      There wasn't any specific vehicles, the only fun one was the bag.

    • @letsreadtextbook1687
      @letsreadtextbook1687 Год назад +2

      Then the prison one will put a smile on your face

  • @DrWongburger
    @DrWongburger 3 года назад +22

    Only soldiers can kill without getting in trouble. Ain't that the truth.

  • @frostymourne
    @frostymourne 12 лет назад +38

    The funny thing is that he actually makes sense.

  • @Oneiric_Benevolence
    @Oneiric_Benevolence 10 месяцев назад +5

    Michael Falk asking the real questions everyone is afraid to ask.

  • @teacherfromthejungles6671
    @teacherfromthejungles6671 3 года назад +11

    This report aged like a fine wine.

  • @TheBrendanWoolbert
    @TheBrendanWoolbert 3 года назад +5

    I fricken died when he started speaking Pashto with the taliban spokesman hahahahaha

    • @mubaris.s
      @mubaris.s 3 года назад +3

      lmao I'm pashtun and this is fucking funny 💀💀💀💀💀

    • @TheBrendanWoolbert
      @TheBrendanWoolbert 3 года назад +2

      @@mubaris.s it really is lol. Comedy gold

  • @licanueto
    @licanueto 3 года назад +8

    Imagine how cool it'd be if they turned this into an actual news program, with real news, delivered just like this

  • @Andybaby
    @Andybaby 11 лет назад +76

    "i do not like it here" lol - god i miss the old Onion.

    • @Ass_of_Amalek
      @Ass_of_Amalek 3 года назад +4

      the US military has now decided that they also do not like it there. many of the afghan allies they leave behind are expected to join the taliban to be happy.

    • @Andybaby
      @Andybaby 3 года назад

      @@Ass_of_Amalek I'm sure they'll soon find a new pretext for their ever-increasing budgets

    • @tyger3170
      @tyger3170 3 года назад

      @@Andybaby how is 3.5% of GDP a lot by any standard?

    • @robzs8388
      @robzs8388 3 года назад

      @@Ass_of_Amalek big necro vibes

  • @yikemoo
    @yikemoo 3 года назад +25

    This skit walks so many fine lines and somehow pulls it off masterfully.

  • @joshzerbe6043
    @joshzerbe6043 3 года назад +95

    It’s crazy to think about how valid his thinking is though, the fact that people feel sad when someone they like dies and are happy when an enemy dies really opens your eyes to the fact no one sees each other as living, no one can comprehend how incredible life is and how devastating it is if even one soul is extinguished by hate

    • @user-mv1hv5ce3b
      @user-mv1hv5ce3b 3 года назад +8

      +Josh Zerbe Yess it made me kind of existential too. Even though you could have been born into an enemy’s situation and potentially made the same decisions as they did, we create categories of otherness and don’t really consider the humanity of who we consider “enemies”

    • @skyworm8006
      @skyworm8006 3 года назад +8

      Only if you're a pseudointellectual who thinks they're being deep. What's not to get. One is literally people you know, from the same nation, and more so have been through training and fought together which bonds you strongly. The other is a group of people that even people in the same religion and culture and language think are crazy and alien, much less foreigners from the other side of the world who are explicitly there to kill and pacify them. It doesn't make sense at all.
      People are not happy that 'someone' dies, they are happy that an enemy dies because it means that they and their brothers do not die (which they would otherwise). Imagine being a hostage and the person taking you hostage is killed. You might not like that someone has died but you will certainly be relieved and get a high afterwards having escaped a dangerous situation.

    • @joshzerbe6043
      @joshzerbe6043 3 года назад +11

      @@skyworm8006 but who are you to judge what’s intellectual and pseudo intellectual. Am I wrong when I say people should mourn the loss of any human life no matter who they are. When these “evil” people are born they have their whole lives ahead of them, but to see a person take a path or be forced on a path of pain and suffering and bring that onto others, and knowing that they’re lost and need to be given the chance to change but won’t ever get it, that hurts, and I mourn not only the loss of their life but they’re chance of making up what they’ve done and turning to good

    • @skyworm8006
      @skyworm8006 3 года назад +5

      @@joshzerbe6043 Missing the point yet again in favour of self-righteous hysterics. Step back and use your reasoning faculties. I won't reply again.

    • @joshzerbe6043
      @joshzerbe6043 3 года назад +6

      @@skyworm8006 that’s fine I don’t need you to, but I do mourn you

  • @PatrickHutton
    @PatrickHutton 3 года назад +15

    This is brilliant. Whilst comedy it shows his genuine struggle too as he tries to make sense of socially complex situations.

    • @PatrickHutton
      @PatrickHutton 3 года назад

      Just watched the last bit of the video it was hilarious. Bring him back! Could you imagine reporting on today's complexities?

  • @akaku9
    @akaku9 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for not disabling comments and allowing all the self reports

  • @kylemartin9735
    @kylemartin9735 3 года назад +12

    "Here's how you join the taliban"
    That made me cry laughing

  • @colbyandbrennen3543
    @colbyandbrennen3543 3 года назад +5

    The Onion is timeless we love this era of the internet

  • @guymerritt4860
    @guymerritt4860 Год назад +5

    I love it when he ask the base commander if the commander can kill the guy in his office who steals his yogurt and makes fun of the way he talks.....OMG.

  • @terreliv
    @terreliv 5 лет назад +34

    As an aspie, this is somewhat accurate.

  • @pratikvyas9626
    @pratikvyas9626 3 года назад +2

    the reporter and anchor are soooooo happy and energetic about this situation

  • @Sanulay
    @Sanulay 9 лет назад +313

    I know, this is satire. But still, he has a point. The situation in Afghanistan is more complicated than he thinks so the "we should all join the Taliban because they're always happy" argument does not hold but the part about only feeling sad about deaths (or bad events in general) within your own group and killing (or other actions intended to hurt someone) not being any less bad if you're killing someone not in your social group makes sense.

    • @NellieKAdaba
      @NellieKAdaba 9 лет назад +1

      +Sanulay Yes

    • @pisse3000
      @pisse3000 8 лет назад +30

      Sanulay That's the point of statire. To first make laugh and then think.

    • @ian_b
      @ian_b 8 лет назад +15

      Unless you understand that humans (without Autism) exhibit an innate group preference.
      And, it's the Onion.

    • @maiacorbin7879
      @maiacorbin7879 8 лет назад +11

      jaxxstraw that's probably a huge point in autistic people's favor

    • @mikuhatsunegoshujin
      @mikuhatsunegoshujin 7 лет назад +1

      m yeager tell that to America in 1986.

  • @taffyadam6031
    @taffyadam6031 2 года назад +2

    “We’re talking about brothers? I can give information about that!” Fuck, that’s too accurate

  • @engreem9281
    @engreem9281 3 года назад +4

    I thought that dude was a parody of Ben Shapiro for a moment

  • @skipads5141
    @skipads5141 Год назад +3

    The hypocrisy of war perfectly told.

  • @u.v.s.5583
    @u.v.s.5583 3 года назад +5

    This is possibly the greatest news report video ever made.

  • @MajesticSkywhale
    @MajesticSkywhale 9 лет назад +119

    wow. he WOULD speak pashto xD

    • @farhan00
      @farhan00 8 лет назад +41

      yeah, he's speaking Dari not Pashto but that's still pretty well-done.

    • @pisse3000
      @pisse3000 8 лет назад +7

      SomeGuy It's not his native language at least.

    • @roguishpaladin
      @roguishpaladin 6 лет назад +19

      After he decided he needed to go meet the Taliban spokesman, he decided he needed to know how to speak the language, learned it in a day, and then went.

    • @MrIcebarrage
      @MrIcebarrage 6 лет назад +15

      nah he's definitely speaking Pashto, and it's almost fluent as well, albeit with a dodgy accent

    • @ElwoodBluesAK
      @ElwoodBluesAK 4 года назад +2

      No clue

  • @Oreo_cakester
    @Oreo_cakester 3 года назад +3

    "You are happy all the time" that's explains a lot

  • @maxjohnson2757
    @maxjohnson2757 3 года назад +5

    I love that it’s called “special report”

  • @quizlixx
    @quizlixx 12 лет назад +36

    You can't 'falk' his logic, eh? eh?

  • @umno9830
    @umno9830 3 года назад +6

    I love how completely unconcerned the news anchor is that the reporter just encouraged people to join the taliban

  • @Noodlecow2
    @Noodlecow2 3 года назад +3

    This was how I was vocally up until ~7th grade, took a long time but eventually I learnt how to mostly shut up and not ask “stupid questions.” The “which let me stop thinking got me- big anxiety/overwhelming thing there, brain never shuts off.

    • @taffyadam6031
      @taffyadam6031 2 года назад

      This. Brain won’t shut the fuck up

  • @CSGhostAnimation
    @CSGhostAnimation 5 лет назад +3

    the only news source I trust

  • @Maximillian-00
    @Maximillian-00 Год назад +2

    Absolutely amazing. We need him now more than ever to "take care" of Ryan

  • @WhoThisMonkey
    @WhoThisMonkey 2 месяца назад +2

    "They put a bag over my head so I could not see, it made me stop thinking."
    Yes, I can relate to this.

  • @felixmarschner5590
    @felixmarschner5590 3 года назад +4

    Who is watching in August 2021? Suddenly relevant again 😅

  • @Tomboo
    @Tomboo 3 года назад +1

    Where has this gem of a video been all those years

  • @sniffles8655
    @sniffles8655 3 года назад +6

    "We'll let you know in a couple of days whether Michael made it back aright" 😂🤣😂

    • @prions13
      @prions13 3 года назад +5

      Anchor, internally: "Is..... is he going to defect to the Taliban?"

  • @dontreadthisplease2416
    @dontreadthisplease2416 3 года назад +1

    Never has an old video showed up in my recommended with better/worse timing.

  • @andyjacobs7010
    @andyjacobs7010 3 года назад +6

    1:26 I totally expected the reporter to then ask, "How do I become a soldier."

  • @macp5527
    @macp5527 2 месяца назад +1

    So glad ONN is a pioneer in adhering to the DEI policies for hiring Michael. WTG ONN.

  • @Mrs.Suchnso
    @Mrs.Suchnso 3 года назад +3

    This one is the funniest so far to me. “Are you going to kill Ryan?” 🤣 😆 🤣 😂

  • @saggitariuspotato2043
    @saggitariuspotato2043 3 года назад +105

    I'm mildly autistic, and I realized how crazy this looks, but I also understand the reporters logic.
    American soldiers think killing is bad but have to reconcile with it because killing is involved in war.
    The Taliban thinks it's good and doesn't have to reconcile.
    The Americans think death is bad unless its their enemy making a double standard.
    The Taliban doesn't have a double standard.
    By a certain logic, you could say the Taliban is fair.
    Personally I don't reguard all fairness as equal but still. I see where he is coming from.
    The video was funny. I enjoyed it. I had a good laugh. Decided to break it down cause I like thinking about things.

  • @husamettin_amayandancakar1553
    @husamettin_amayandancakar1553 3 года назад +8

    Ben Shapiro's first job out of college

  • @norkh1707
    @norkh1707 3 года назад +2

    This aged very well.

  • @dracconz1486
    @dracconz1486 3 года назад +4

    As an autistic person, I like watching this guy

  • @somerandomintrovert8159
    @somerandomintrovert8159 3 года назад +5

    This guy speaks the language of truth.

  • @stacymirba1433
    @stacymirba1433 3 года назад +8

    The autistic who speaks fluent Arabic is one of the best most underrated jokes I've ever seen. That was brilliant.

    • @shimyashimyay7843
      @shimyashimyay7843 3 года назад

      This is not Arabic

    • @stacymirba1433
      @stacymirba1433 3 года назад

      @@shimyashimyay7843 Okay, whatever it is. The language he was speaking wasn't the joke.

    • @shimyashimyay7843
      @shimyashimyay7843 3 года назад

      @@stacymirba1433 yeah I get it. It was just to be precise but I agree with you

  • @joshsobkoviak3615
    @joshsobkoviak3615 3 года назад +2

    My favorite part is when they refer to the staff sergeant as a sergeant first class and the colonel as a major

  • @KasumiRINA
    @KasumiRINA 3 года назад +11

    I like how people in acceptable casualties are Taliban, Enemies and Ryan from Work... Still undecided about teachers, but at least Barack Obama and bus drivers dying makes us sad.

  • @theproblemmustbeinyourpant5910
    @theproblemmustbeinyourpant5910 3 года назад +2

    1:52 killed me with his sudden fluent -Arabic- Pashto

  • @thecat6159
    @thecat6159 4 года назад +18

    Did Michael make it back alright.

    • @robertprewitt776
      @robertprewitt776 3 года назад +3

      We'll let you know in a couple of days

    • @rc59191
      @rc59191 3 года назад

      I'm gonna assume he's MIA.

  • @jdzzl
    @jdzzl 3 года назад +2

    It took me 2 minutes to realize this was the onion

  • @josephstalin6549
    @josephstalin6549 6 лет назад +5

    This is the best analogy of the news vs the real world I have ever seen.

  • @kostasiraklis7070
    @kostasiraklis7070 3 года назад +2

    this aged REALLY well

  • @corbanwilson2622
    @corbanwilson2622 3 года назад +7

    This didn’t age well

  • @KohniHart
    @KohniHart 2 месяца назад +1

    The most unrealistic part about this joke is how the guy with autism gets treated with respect

  • @RamadaArtist
    @RamadaArtist 2 года назад +5

    Is it sad when someone dies?
    Four soldiers: yes
    Mothers: yes
    Neighbor: yes
    Taliban: no
    Reporters: yes
    Fathers: yes
    Brothers: yes
    Bus drivers: yes
    Enemies: no
    Barack Obama: yes
    Ryan from work: no
    Police officers: yes
    Teachers: UNDECIDED

  • @josecardenas4388
    @josecardenas4388 3 года назад +1

    Bro doing gods work 9 years ago and predicting the future god damn.

  • @cyberjayson
    @cyberjayson 3 года назад +12

    This aged interestingly...

  • @Wufffles
    @Wufffles 28 дней назад +1

    I love this, it’s not making fun of people with autism, It’s joking about it’s symptoms in a way that’s genuinely relatable for people with autism like myself

  • @staomruel
    @staomruel 3 года назад +5

    Gotta love how he marked the squares on his chart.

  • @kbee8517
    @kbee8517 3 года назад +1

    I was deeply concerned until I saw it was the Onion

  • @anthonyacetta1551
    @anthonyacetta1551 3 года назад +3

    As an Afghan American, I think the worst/ best thing about this is that the guy is actually speaking Pashto which begs the question.... did they actually go to the taliban? How committed was this guy to the role??

  • @azimuth361
    @azimuth361 3 года назад

    Yeah.... this is the only news network I'm watching from now on.

  • @petersab4476
    @petersab4476 Год назад +2

    “Are you going to kill Ryan”?