Christian Dating Advice: Age Gap Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 16 авг 2023
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My husband is 13 years older than me. I was ready to get married and have children, not waste time partying like everyone my age. We have been 10 years and have 5 children
Thank you for sharing your testimony with this Kayla! Praise God!
I’m 20 and my fiancé is 26… it’s amazing how much our age gap has made things EASIER- even though we hardly notice our age gap. He’s in the place to be a provider when the babies start coming… I am excited to be a mother soon! I know I can trust him to help lead our family. Loved this one!
Amen! God bless you guys and thank you for sharing your testimony!
My husband is 20 years older than me... when we married, i was 19, he was 39! Happily married for almost 14 years now! To God be the glory 💛
oooh wow
@@jillh7934too close to complications with pregnancy or menopause. Women and men aren’t the same. Get over it Jill.
@@jillh7934 not sure... but I probably wouldn't have married him if he was 19! 😉
@@CelestialKnight-vm9th that's such an ignorant, unkind thing to say.
You have no idea what my life is like. I have a medical issue that could literally take me out any day... he's a perfect picture of health. I could go before him... but even if it is as you say later on, I wouldn't change these beautiful, happy years i've had for anything in the world!
I really hope you find peace and joy and true love through the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! 💛
@@marvinramirez5586 we went to the same church since I was a kid... he never would've asked me out (because of my age), but an older lady in the church set us up a few months after I graduated from high school!
I was 22 and my husband was almost 28. And in my mind and heart, I was always looking for an "older" man, because I wanted to do the traditional wife/mom role. It worked out well - thanks to the Father!
Praise God, what a great testimony!
My daughter got married at 19. Granted her husband was 20! So this is not an age gap comment, just a young marriage comment. :) I was very much in favor of them marrying young. Today is their four-year anniversary in fact!
Yayy for young marriage!!!
Congrats!! ❤🎉
I was 19 and my husband was 26. We married when I was 21. I see a huge benefit in the age gap. Married 10 years. My husband is my best friend. I can attest that pair bonding is real. I very much “grew up” in my relationship with my husband.
Screeching feminists would claim you feel like you grew up with your spouse because he “groomed” you 😂
@@sofiabravo1994 If a 6 year old can decide their gender, I think a 19 year old can consent to a relationship and marriage 😂 LOL!
@@jillh7934 how long have you been married?
@@jillh7934because men take longer to have their life together while women reach maturity Sooner. We don’t need an established career or stability like men.
@@jillh7934unless you’re 19 year old son is the exception then ok that’s the exception there’s a reason why most women aren’t attracted to young men.
Exactly this! I got married at 23 to my husband who was 39 at the time. There is a 16 year age gap between us. Now at 26 and 42 we have a daughter. I feel so blessed to have found a mature, god-fearing man to depend on, and likewise, my husband is blessed to have found a young, god-fearing wife to provide him children and take care of the home.
Our age gap is 12 yrs. We've been married 42 yrs this March. The gap hasn't been difficult until now. He's 77 and I'm 65. The thought of being widowed is more obvious and painful to the core. I love him more today than yesterday. Father is gracious.
Yes, I have an age gap as well. All is fine until you hit senior years.
My late wife was 14 years older than me, we were together for 40 very happy years, 3+ years ago I lost her to Alzheimer's
I totally agree with you all. I am 24 and I am looking in the 35 to 40 year old range group!
My wife of 35 years is 4 years older than me. Our backgrounds and culture are so similar it's like no age gap, even if minor.
My husband and i married at 20 (me) and 23 (him). I had my first baby at 22. We now have 5 kids. I'm all for young marriage! 💖
For me, the ideal age gap between man and woman should be +/- 10 years because when she is ready to settle down, she has to look for an established man, but men are financially stable around 30 years
I'm about to turn 25 and my husband is 33 🙌🏻
My wife and I have been married 14 years. She's 35 and I'm 58. One important thing for us was to stay away from the negative unwanted critics of age gap relationships.
I was 20 and my husband was 26 when we were married. I had our first baby two weeks after our first wedding anniversary 😊 Next month we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary.
We have a sacramental marriage. Divorce was never an option, even when there were hard times and significant hurts. We made it through. It’s not reasonable to expect a lifetime of Hallmark. Grace and forgiveness is the key, according to God’s word. 🙏🏻
As an aside, my mother-in-law was 15 years younger than my father-in-law. Same with my paternal grandparents.
praise god
Congrats on a long marriage! God bless you💚
26 year difference between myself and my wife (23)....Love is blind. Like Him, she only sees the heart.
"...But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature...For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
- Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
I'm 66 and she is 40, we just met and the sparks flew....Will see where it goes.
My husband is only 2 years older than me yet he’s like 35 mentally. I’m an old soul but with a childlike personality I’m glad God placed us together! He’s so grounded and I love that about him! I married him when I was 21, unfortunately I had sex with him before marriage but he was my first, I was so attached to him especially when I fell pregnant with our first little girl! I was 21 but mentally 18 I had a lot of growing up to do but we went through it together, I think age gaps are ok and normal but I think it’s a bit weird if the man is old enough to be your dad.
U guys have nailed it, really❗️To God be the glory 🙏🏽
Wise ideas for the younger folks and certainly essential information for the young ladies!
There really is a lot of social taboo; thank you for putting this perspective out there. As an older guy with the desire to start a family I appreciate knowing that it's not a bad thing to be looking for a younger woman.
This was educational ! Thank you!
I don't understand why all of a sudden people don't get the very simple truth you discussed in this video, which is that women are often ready for marriage way younger than men are. Age gaps, at least to a small degree, make perfect sense in most cases.
I was pretty much resdy to be married at like 17 or 18, but unfortunately the guy I was with was a few years younger than me, and despite talking about marriage all the time, he eventually just decided he didn't want to be tied down yet and dumped me.
After that, I dated a couple other guys. One was 14 years older than me. My husband, who I married at 20, is 7 and a half years older than me. And we are very much on the same level in most things.
If I had been confined to having to only date boys my age, I probably would have had to wait a good 5-8 years past the time that I was ready to settle down, because those boys were nowhere near ready to get married.
I don’t get it either. Years ago, that was normal.
I think there's a big difference between woman wanting to get married young and woman being ready to get married young. Many have baby fever, dying for that flicked out hand picture with the wedding ring on it to post on instigram and the big wedding ceremony, but not actually the deep responsibility side of things. Of course most men who are expected to be the provider won't want to rush into a check to check lifestyle raising a family and wait longer.
@@vivaeuropa I disagree. I think there are plenty of women who are absolutely ready to be married at a younger age. Or at least they should be. Our culture has a huge problem with infantilizing grown adults and acting like a 20 year old is still a child. They're not.
But regardless, that doesn't really argue against my point about age gaps. Because I'm talking about younger women who ARE ready for marriage. They are likely going to have to look for someone a bit older if they want to find a man who is on the same level as them.
We have a lot of age gaps in my family, but it's usually the opposite-- older women with younger men! Not much of a gap in my relationship, but my husband is 2 years younger than I am. The biggest gap in my family was a 15 year gap, my mom started dating a 25 year old after her divorce. She was 40. They stayed together until my mom passed 2 years ago. ...
Thank you very much for this godly advice! This is true wisdom. I actually just met a young woman where our age happens to be exactly how you described it. I like her but I was wondering if it would be a good Idea to get to know her or if she was too young. One day later I come across your channel and "randomly" watch this video and get a perfect answer to my question. God is great! Praise to him! Be blessed!
God bless you!
I was 20 and my wife 21 (a few months apart) when we got married. I can see arguments for why a moderate age gap of 4-10 years where the man is older can be good, but also a more typical age gap (or lack thereof) with the man -1 to +4 years older can also be good.
Thank God for you two. I have been thinking this for years and have started thinking seriously about it this year. I have always been attracted to older men and now that I am 30, I think that will be the only way I will marry in this day and age. I am very curious as to why age gaps are taboo here in the States. It is very odd, because as you have stated and I have noticed, it isn't wrong anywhere else.
I come from Germany and also there it is weird to have big age gaps. I was so into this thinking that I always wanted to marry someone who is around my age. Things came very different or lets say God had a very different idea. I was 29 when I married and my husband is 15 years older. He is Tanzanian and also here it is very normal to have big age gaps.
It’s because of the potential for abuse, first world countries take abuse a lot more seriously than other countries. If a man is older, he could potentially use the age gap as an excuse to be abusive, since younger women tend to excuse immature behaviour a lot more readily than older women. This is definitely not the case for all age gap relationships, but this is what people worry about.
Me and my fiance' had slightly different backgrounds and cultures in different time periods, yet had similar challenges, familial and social rejection, deep thoughts, non-conformity, and Love of music, film, and animals. Neither grew up in a Christian home, but were saved later on. I had two children and raised them on my own. I'm taking care of my elderly mother now. He's had severe depression and anxiety most of his Life. We've been celibate for many years, me for decades. We Love and accept each other as is, knowing how challenging taking on one another's burdens will be. Praying is not a loose option for us, but is absolutely necessary for dealing with our Lives. We're both poor, and graduated college. We both have goals of finishing our art projects that are autobiographical that we pray make a difference in the world (his film and my album). We'll only have children together by the grace of God. He's almost 34, I'm 51. I believe that puts us squarely in the Categorize This demographic. :0)
I like someone at work she is 30 years younger. The attraction may be mutual. But she told me she is "the least religious person you know". So now I'm not sure if I should take that as a challenge.
Good luck. There was a woman at my work only 22 years younger than me and we were mutually attracted to each other. She even wanted to go out sometime. But then she learned my age and got all age prejudiced on me. Women are so age prejudiced they'll turn on you just like that. 😎
Would y’all be interested in leading a live talk on this topic at a church in Houston?
I met my husband at 22 he was 51 we married 2 years later and been married almost 4 years ❤
aaaack
that sounds made up. Don't trust everything (or anything) you see on the internet
Well, be ready and prepared to be his caregiver because he will eventually have age related issues. Save up now and travel extensively while you can . Also take caregiver courses for the elderly SOON !
Thank you for this advice. I think an age gap is something that should be considered, especially for people who desire to have a larger family than the typical western one (which on average is below replacement rate).
With regard to the non-Christian secular world, there are differing opinions on age gaps. There are those who are completely fine with it, and those who are completely against it. I’m sure there are those who are indifferent, as well. Those non-Christian’s who are against age gap relationships may also be in support of gay marriage, sex before marriage with multiple partners, and pro-abortion (among other things). So they’re moral compass is broken.
It seems permissible from a Biblical perspective. It’s largely silent on the matter, except for some references. For example, Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah, and there is the story of Ruth and Boaz. I think what is most important when looking for a spouse is to find someone (who is the opposite sex) who loves the Lord. After that, then I think it is also appropriate to find your best option, and an age gap is one factor. Once two people are married, then they must both be truly committed for life.
What if the woman is 10 or 15 years older? What are the thoughts on this?
I'm broke, but at least Debt-Free...and 36. My fiance is 22. We're marrying later this year. Because of her marrying me knowing full-well that I'm broke, I will never abandon her once my business soon makes BIG money...and that will actually happen within a year. LOL.
And she has no idea I'm doing business deals on the side to become financially secured for life. IF she knew this, I'd reassess accepting her as wife because I'd question her motives, but because she truly has NO idea, I genuinely feel her desire for me is pure & Godly.
Hello, i am 25 years old and i have always been told that was always mature than people my age. To be honest ive always been interested in hanging out with people older than me. I am interested in men 7-10 years older than me not guys younger or around my age. Is this wrong?
No. Embrace it.
It's the way it's meant to be. But don't limit yourself to just 7-10 if you can find an older stud. 😎
@@ModelJames13 thanks! 😊😊😊
Agree!!! 100%
I have been still single 23 years ago but im not married yet now im 38
Age should not make a difference.
my boyfriend is 28 years older than me but he is poor. My opportunity to get married has already passed. Ill never have my dream
I don't find anything wrong with it
There is something many couples do not consider with a significant age gap. It may only be a problem as the couple ages. For example, I know a woman who married a man at age 21 with a 22 year age gap. They wanted no kids. Things went well until the husband retired at age 65. He wanted to travel and spend more time at the cottage. She was only 43 at the time and had many years ahead of her working at a career she loved. That caused a series of conflicts which lead to a divorce a few years later. In time, your life goals may change and no longer be in line.
She chose career over her husband, a bad wife. 😎
Hour husband is very handsome! 🌺💐❤️
I am 49 looking for a proverbs 31 woman to marry. I am a 1 timothy chapter 3 man .
This is a reason for the BirthGap around the world.
What is your current age gap you too?
❤️
👍💖
Is 4 years of age gap considered ok?
One time on October 15th 2022 during BOA Bands of America event, I was a videographer for Jack Britt High School marching band several months after I’ve graduated from Jack Britt class of 2022.
I met a girl by a name of Abigail Taylor a member of Cary HS Color Guard whom she and I had a very good conversation. And during great conversation, she smiled a lot at me and she was a nice person. Both of us are Christian since I’m orthodox and she’s a baptist.
I believe she’s 16 years old and I’m 20 years old. God permit I’ll wait till she turns 18 to date.
My question I have is 4 age gap perfect when getting older?
Based mustache man and wife. You've given me several well-argued reasons as to why I should look to younger women rather than those pesky androgynous career-chasing women-men my age (25). 😉Thank you.
Christian culture does not say young marriage is weird.
Why is age younger older age. gap a problem in America it's totally normal in the bible and in different times . Totally fine in other cultures.
I'm so sorry but you have both missed the mark on this one. First of all, to state that all women are sleeping around after 18 is just not correct. To say that women should get married for that reason begs the question who are these women sleeping with? Why aren't we asking these men to exersice self control. This is a hypocrytical double standard and as a Christian man, this is not what you should be preaching at all. You should be telling men, ABSTAIN UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED.
Furthermore there are so many women that are virgins waiting until marriage well past 25 , myself included (I'm almost 30). Many of them wanted to get married but there were no men wanting to marry them, even now. Do you expect these women to just sit and do nothing? Have you not seen The Beat by Allen Parr who got married in their 40s. His wife wasn't just sitting twiddling her thumbs. She was working, and having a college degree enabled her to have a decent standard of living and if God blesses her with a husband, they can then decide what to do. In their case they did and found each other. Women getting educated is not evil as you are incorrectly promoting. A woman has a choice to go to university or not. Both should be honoured. There's no scripture saying that a woman cannot get an education so this is now ill-advised opinion.
Yes I said IF because marriage is not guaranteed to ever Christian believer, even if they want it and we are called to abstain regardless. Men like yourselves should be preaching abstainance to men instead of policing women. If you have any friends in any singles facebook groups there are hundreds of posts with sorrowful stories from women with men constantly testing boundaries, yet I hear very little from men with platforms telling Christian men in particular if you cannot submit to God with your sexuality, you have no reason to be looking for a wife.
You are reitterating Purity culture which acts as if you refrain from sex, you'll get a spouse guaranteed when we should be preaching abstainance, you are obedient to God and IF He wills it you may get married, but he may also decide that you might not get married. That is up to Him and Him alone. However, first and foremost, men need to be bringing up the standard for men. Tell men to look for wives while they are in college/university. Too many men go to "sow their wild oats" and then wonder what's happened. Why aren't Christian men mentoring other Christian men to do better, choose better, be better and work towards marriage?
Christian women are mentoring other Christian women to abstain and not lower their boundaries or standards. We are NOT hearing the same mentorship from men.
There are Christian women that slept with many people, got saved and are now married. There are virgins that didn't sleep around at all but are still single. Again your talk about "pair-bonding" is legalistic and unessesary when those that aren't sleeping around aren't married and those that did are in happy marriages that reflect God's grace and forgiveness.
I live in the UK.
The relationships between men and women is at an all time low.
For women here, if a man walks out and won't provide for the kids, the Govt. steps in and provides financial help.
On the face of it, that sounds great, as it is a safety net.
However, it means that many women have become less discerning in the men that they choose.
The men in turn, can have a great time sowing their wild oats and can then walk away from their responsibilities.
The children then often grow up with no contact or close relationship with their father.
From families that I know, I would say that is more common than not.
Really sad for the kids.
Particularly for boys who have no male role model.
@@softsophisticate I sympathise with you 100% as I'm based in the UK too. It's really crazy out here
“to state that all women are sleeping around after 18 is just not correct” You’re correct, of course. But they didn’t say that! 2:06 they make a very correct observation about a disconnect & cite a statistic about 80%. Are you saying their statistic is incorrect? I don’t know where the statistic comes from or if it’s really accurate but it sounds about correct to me, in the context of a Western world country anyway.
“there are so many women that are virgins waiting until marriage well past 25…” this goes back to the statistic they cited. Are you arguing the ‘so many’ is more than 20% of women? I doubt it; not that exact numbers matter as regards the point being made.
“That is up to Him and Him alone.” I admire your faith; genuinely I do. But I suggest that God helps those who help themselves. We are in a public forum and I wish nothing but the best to you, my sister in Christ. I don’t ask anything personal of you. I only suggest you could possibly reflect further on this video. Perhaps view it again. It was aimed, I think, at persons who wish to help themselves find a Christian spouse.
On a personal note, I regret not marrying younger. So the broader topic is one that I relate to. Years, and numbers of them that have passed, do actually matter! We’re all ‘on the clock’. So the topic is a logical & important one. Not that marrying so young, as they mention, would have been in the slightest bit socially acceptable in the world I came from.
@@sunnywintermorning1941 I would say that statistic is incorrect to a degree. The matter of the fact is if 30% of women are happy to sleep with hundreds of men, they will ruin the market for the 70% of women that aren't sleeping around. It doesn't take a high percentage to ruin the market. Only 1 bad egg spoils the batch and in this case, 1 women sleeping with a lot of men can ruin it for a lot of women that refuse to.
I can name at least 10 women close to me that are still virgins and are all almost 30 but I cannot name any men that are doing the same. Again my point stands, regardless of the numbers, there are few men abstaining and therefore need to be held accountable. If the numbers for women are high and most are sleeping around, the women aren't all just sleeping with each other, they are sleeping with men who's values are also questionable.
The fact that you have also focused on what women are doing wrong again begs the question where is the accountability for the men. The solution comes from dealing with both genders. not just bashing one down which tends to happen moreso than not.
I do not need to reflect further on this video. I have watched it through and can see that this couple have a lot of incorrect views on things such as education and aren't taking a lot of nuances into account regarding singleness. They haven't done any true market research which I have suggested they do in terms of joining singles groups or asking their friends who are single what these groups are like. The blame the evils of the world on women getting educated which is not the issue here. The issue is that men have not been controlling their sexual urges as those who should be leading relationships and women have been giving into this. The incentive to get married is erradicated which has ruined the dating market. Furthermore there are less Christian men than Christian women and unless we get a male revival, Christian marriages will continue to be on the decline because the highest number of marriages is capped at the geneder with the lowest number of singles . Christian women are already doing the main thing that they can...abstain. But no-one is saying the same to these men and even in the video, the focus was on women sleeping around but nothing was said to the men that these women are sleeping with.
I'm not against marrying young provided you find someone. My parents and grandparents married young and I wanted to as well. However, when I went to university I was raised with the expectation that men would be looking for a wife as most people look to get married at university but this did not happen. The issue is that men were not looking and I am simply asking married men to mentor single men and encourage them to look earlier. But they didn't and now Christian women especially are facing those consequences. Christian women are often raised to want to become wives from very young but Christian men are not raised from very young to want to become husbands.
@@rubylonge4595 “…I was raised with the expectation that men would be looking for a wife as most people look to get married at university”. I think you’ll agree that a point repeatedly made in the video is that such an expectation is unrealistic & most young men of College age are not looking to get married. Would it have been helpful to you to have been told that when you were being raised? Instead of heading off with such an unrealistic expectation? If yes, maybe you’ll see something in the video of value after all.
Wtfffffff
The human brain doesn't fully develop until 25. 25 seems like a more appropriate age.
Fake news.
@@ModelJames13 How So?
10 years a good gap but if you're dealing with young women and the gap is 10+ there's a good chance they may bail on the marriage when you're in your 50-60s so they can be with a younger guy more their speed. Hard to know what's right.
a woman who pursues the Lord is less likely to do that compared to worldly women. That's why godly men should seek out a Proverbs 31 woman, who is of "far more worth than rubies"
@@RealFredbaby yes but many older men will use religion to leverage religion to exploit a much younger woman, too
i am trying to edit that comment cuz i screwed it up but it wont let me lol ugh
@@JulieRamone-li3tw i'm talking about two born again Christians getting married, not two merely religious people. Furthermore, her parents or their local church elders would probably object if they thought the older man was being predatory.
You seem to think that religion is just something exchangable, but Christianity is the truth faith that brings everlasting life and changes the believer through sanctification
@@RealFredbaby Well this older man is kind of good looking, which helps I suppose. And not super old like you see with (s)expats going to the third world....so it is not too objectionable..but not sure if this should be applied to everyone, that is for sure
so you are giving boys a pass to sew their oats and the women should become a mom at 18?? you realize people have to live in today's world, right?
@@arqeph.private brain development matures at age 25 for females at least
@@JulieRamone-li3twok then no sex if they’re still children ironically you are infantilizing adult women.
@@sofiabravo1994 you can see it that way, but in todays world, a female had better be 110% sure that guy is going to be everything she hopes because she will be sacrificing everything. HUGE MASSIVE risk to take to never have a career or learn independence while the guy gets to experience independence before he settles down.
@@sofiabravo1994 Women like her are hellbent on destroying civilization in pursuit of attempting to rip as much value of all other participants of society while also making insane accusations left + right. If women below 25 are children they should not be allowed to vote, have sex, take on bank credits, have any meaningful duties abov those of a teen or even be employed full-time.