When my father passed away suddenly, I was the only one not in shock or "deep mourning" out of my siblings. My mother lost her best friend and husband that she knew since she was 15. I have no idea but I was on auto pilot. I honestly have NO IDEA how I could've made it through without our funeral director. She was so incredible! Rachael at Matthysse Kuiper DeGraaf in Wyoming MI. She did so much extra and amazing. My dad loved Batman and without even us asking she had this Batman sign to rest on the back of the casket that then became the sticker on the lid. He went in his own Batcave. She had bookmarks made for us and memorial stickers for our cars with no charge. She was an angel in disguise. This video was great one.
thank you carry for all you do I've been to funeral homes and I've seen some things these videos are very helpful help me understand everything all Funeral Directors go through as well as the family keep bringing the keep bringing the videos
Great program. I had been through most of that arrangements with My mother, father and sister I tried to educated myself on how to be a better consumer. Thank this will help when it come to pre planning my own funeral.
when my dad was sick and he was in the hospital 27 times in one year a social worker told me to make funeral arrangements before, cause he would have many bills coming in and so his funeral would be put into a trust and no bill collector would be able to touch that money. My dad also wanted a party at his wake and all his groups to speak and sing. With my moms funeral my dad wanted an outfit that she loved and he did also. The problem with that was it was low cut and you would be able to see the embalming scar and I couldnt change his mind so when we came into the funeral home and the low cut in the front and you could see the cut even with a bandage over it so I pulled up the blouse and little more and no one knew anything different. thank you for all your information Kari
That is why at our funeral home we use a "bra strap incision" for women, so that cut would be hidden. It is also possible to suture it carefully and wax over an incision so it would be basically imperceptible. Whoever did the embalming did a bad job. This is always a precaution that should be taken for women. So sorry for your losses!
Thank you, Kari - this was another great video, with a lot of helpful information going into this important meeting. I think it will help family / friends think more clearly. Wished I had this information when my Dad passed away.
This was an amazing video! I would not have thought of many of the things you mentioned. I wish I had known some of them when I went to arrange services for my brother.....it would have made it easier for me AND the funeral director. Thank you for this useful advise!!
This was an extremely informative! And I could hear the compassionate her voice. I’m really trying to understand why anyone would thumbs down this video?
When my grandma passed away and we was making funeral arrangements for her. I got to choose everything. The casket, the thank you cards, book people sign, and everything else. I chose pink roses on it all. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It gave me so much peace and comfort.
When my elderly mother died, my brother and I were very hands-on assisting our elderly father with the arrangements. The FD came to the house for the arrangement and was great. It was simplified because it was a direct cremation with only a visitation at the church followed by a church service. I wrote the obituary and my brother and I chose the photos to run in a slideshow presentation on my iPad during the visitation. Dad chose a dual urn and, when his time comes, he will be in the other half next to Mom. Great video, Kari!
We're going to have to talk to him and ask what he wants. He hasn't really said that he wants anything specific. There's 3 of us kids...two here in PA and one in GA. Maybe they'll alternate between homes. I doubt we will bury them. ROAD TRIP. LOL.
Hi Kari I'm new to watching your videos, I'm not sure how I came across them on RUclips but I'm glad I did. I'm not in this profession at all, but I find your videos interesting as I have never taken time to understand what and why things are done when you die, I didn't think I could watch some of your videos on cremation but I have and thank you for sharing this information and experience. Thank you from Nancy in Scotland.
I wish that I had learned this information 40 years jago. There are a lot of things I wanted to do I assumed it was not allowed. I did insist that my husband’s Brittany Trial and hunting dog be able to visit the funeral home. God Bless you for sharing this information. 🙏🏻❤️
Wonderful videos thank you and I can see as each year passes the quality hi Def etc. of the video is better :-). I'm learning a lot of what to expect as my parents are getting near the time to pass on so thank you
Wow! I’m realizing how very blessed our family was when my dad died. We’re all from a very small southern town. Our family always used the same funeral home which was family owned and operated. Our funeral director knew my dad quite well so he knew how he looked. His everyday appearance in life. He made everything so very simple for us. Some things my mother had, but some she didn’t. He was in the Navy for eight years, but my mother had no idea how to go about getting the military paperwork. Because he didn’t serve during war time, we didn’t want a big fanfare or anything. Just the presentation of the flag. She also didn’t have a copy of their marriage license. The funeral home took care of all of that for us. Things are so very different in small towns. Because he was a resident of the little town I grew up in his burial plot was free in the town cemetery. We didn’t have all of the extra fees that some people have to deal with. The same will likely be true when my mother’s time comes. Small town southern living definitely has its advantages. I feel beyond blessed right now.
Very educational video to save. Love that you offer information in an easy to understand format. Mom on hospice so was searching for some answers and all was kindly given Kari
Thank you. My father just passed a couple of weeks ago. My baby sister did all of the arrangements with the funeral director. After watching your video, I am learning more about funeral. Funerals or death were the last thing on my mind until this past of couple although my two younger siblings died many years prior. I have to watch this video again in the future.
Very helpful video! My grandfather passed away on 12/26/21 and my grandmother is taking her time because it hit her hard losing her partner if 50 years. Maybe for your next video you can condense this information? Sorry to nag but I have A.D.D. and watching this half hour video was incredibly difficult for me haha. Other than that thank you for posting this! RUclips is the future for information and learning!
I found this very helpful. I have no-one and, although healthy now, I'm making plans, etc in advance since nobody else will. For example, I didn't think about needing an outfit with a high neckline. Fortunately I checked the one I had already settled on and it does. I did look over your channel and saw a few other videos to check out on prefunding, etc. So, thank you for your kindness in making these videos.
Kari, this was really helpful information. But I have a few questions. #1. I don't think my husband has a social security card and I don't know it. #2. I never seen a birth certificate either. #3. We are not picture taking people. #4. What if my husband should die when he is really old and we don't have like 6 people to carry a coffin. What happens in all these cases. This video sure gave me alot to think about and how I don't really know some things. Thanks for everything. Take care from Bethlehem Pa
Many people are unaware that they have the option to purchase funeral products such as caskets and urns online. Many of the big-box retailers such as WalMart, CostCo, and Sam’s Club offer caskets and there are a number of large, reputable online retailers. Costs can be considerably lower than buying through a funeral home and the shopping can be done from the comfort of your own home.
What happens if i die and i have no insurance at all and family doesn't have money. Just curious because this was the case with my mother but fortunately they let us pay it off.
I saved pictures of the headstone I want, the engraving type, the casket type and outer casket vault type. So these are in a folder which my loved ones will execute when I pass, if I cant make them myself before I pass. I am healthy right now but I want my wishes carried out. 🙂✝️
You and one person for moral support is all you need when you go to the funeral home to make arrangements. Have all your funeral info covered with the family that matters before you go to the funeral home to make final arrangements.
Hi! I made my own arrangements within the last 2 yrs and I used a well respected funeral home in the city I'm from. I don't want my husband and family to be burdened with that cost.
I hope you see this. When my dad passed, his funeral was held in Florida. We drove down from Michigan. When it came time for the funeral service, my dad's wife came up to us and asked I play and sing for the funeral (I am a professional soloist). I readily agreed. When we received the itemized list for paying the funeral costs, listed was $150 for the soloist and $200 for the pianist (both me). I found that rather amusing needless to say. Also, I refused to pay the funeral home for my services. They were very put out by this and kept saying, "This is your father's funeral and you don't want to pay for the music provided?" I explained I provided it. They were still adamant I pay them. I left without paying them for what I did. That was the craziest funeral for which I ever sang/played. That was nuts to be sure. I won't go into all the weddings for which I've sung and played - they are another story altogether. You do a great job!!!! Kudos to you.
I'm 60. Heart surgery last year after a heart attack I didn't know I was having. I have no family left. Only one close friend who is older than I. I want a direct cremation. My partner was cremated 12 years ago after a failed heart surgery. She wanted to be buried with me, hence her cremation.. I'll probably have to hire someone to scatter our ashes. No fuss. No muss. I'll be making those arrangements before the end of this year.
Dear ma’am , thank you so much for your usual info . Because I am planning for my father service next Saturday and cremate after . Do you have any more new info during the covid ?
You are so sweet. When my husband died, I was really totally gone. I can not remember a lot at all. My stepdaughter and my husbands sister made most of the arrangements. I know that I said no Tina Turner for music. And my sister in law chose a piece of music from her. Horrid. Now 15 month on, i come back to reality and realise that there are so many decisions made I would never have agreed to if I had been compus mentos. If I write that ok..
Just lost a loved one and it’s so confusing who to call first when it happens. Do you call 911 or do you call the funeral home. How do you pick a funeral home? So many questions.
If someone dies at home you should call 911. The police will come and assess the situation and contact the medical examiner. The medical examiner will either come to the house to examine and release the body or will verbally tell the police it's okay to release the body. You can then contact a funeral home who will come to transport the body to the funeral home. You can call several funeral homes if you need to and ask questions until you find one you are comfortable with. Even if you decide on one to pick up your loved one and you change your mind the next day, you can have a different funeral home collect the body from the first funeral home. If it is a suspected crime scene the body will more than likely be transported to the medical examiner's office for autopsy. I am in the funeral profession. So sorry for your loss. Hope this helped:)
Thanks Kari Northey for the video. There's a lot that has to be done in a short period of time. If you don't have a cemetery but Express where you want to be buried at, will the funeral home help you with getting a plot or should that be prearranged.
Hi and good morning Kari and all subscribers....hey people please watch this video again and kari's other video...know your rights...jot down the pertinent details you will be dealing with.....I come from big families in my circle of family and relatives...been through these enough......please also may be ahead of time before the need ...sit down sometime and discuss as siblings or family how you could make that time easier when it does happen.....find common ground you can all agree with....appoint a family member who is level headed and has a value of common sense and integrity who could handle the arrangement conference to your satisfaction:) too many cooks spoil the food.....seen it happen....it can tear families apart at a time they need each other most...there must be trust among the family as well......as Kari has said have a meeting before heading to the funeral home...send a handful not a room full.....make sure you're all in agreement:) start gathering some of these things now and store them.....that at need time may come like a thief in the night and you'll be better prepared:) my last bit of advice....do the world and everyone else a favor.....PRE PLAN IF YOU CAN !!! in my case it will be...one call does it all.....just my removal and that's it:) my twin is my executor....no arguments no nothing...just my wishes:) update your final arrangements now and again as things can change.....you will be glad you did this for yourself and your family:)) sorry sooo long but I am a big proponent of pre planning...seen too many arguments among families....God bless you...
Great video, but that was a lot to take in. I wrote some stuff down though. I’m pushing 50 and I haven’t really thought about arrangements yet. What if my finances are limited? I remember asking you this question before and you told me what to do , but I forgot.
Very good educational video. If you cant trust a funeral director who can you trust. Shame the ones who did unethical things out a bad name on the industry
Kari Northey we always make deals with our families. A family tells me they only have $2000 in cash in hand and my fee for Traditional Funeral w/rental casket followed by Cremation is $2495...done deal for $2000. Another family really wants the Batesville Primrose round end unit for mom or a solid hardwood for dad instead of a 20 GA Non-Sealer Batesville Gemini but are short on funds and I go back to little league days and partying in high school with the family, deal done whatever casket you want, but you owe me coffee if I see you at Tim Hortons...my brother and I got our first car at age 16, a beater 1975 Chevy Pick-Up Truck because my dad traded a funeral for it...worn out furniture for our apartment in college, my dad credited a family $1000 towards a funeral...need our parking lot seal coated and at need family sees that, brings it up during arrangement conference and wants to do it in trade, deal done...HBO’s Six Feet Under had an entire episode devoted to this deal making.
More Haters? Really! Majority of funeral homes do not budge on their fees, but the flip side - a lot more families are becoming price conscious, just this week we went to two different funeral homes for removals as families switched because they found our affordable fees online. Sometimes I try to tell the other funeral home owner behind the scenes to just match my price or or come down on his fees and keep the call, but they get even more upset, that I suggested it. I used to have a policy for a while, once another funeral home had been called, I wouldn’t get involved if family wanted to switch because family is already agitated from first funeral home and first funeral home behind scenes may have already done a “quickie” embalming job which needs attention/correction and doctor has already signed death certificate, which first funeral home then won’t turn over and doctor tells you they won’t sign a second time...big headaches. Lastly reason lots of funeral homes won’t budge on price is they own all the places within a 30 minute drive radius or as I was taught in mortuary school to exchange prices with your competitors and keep your prices with $100 of each other. In my market area Lenawee County Michigan this is true, it is amazing that all my competition across the board, from market research and families showing me price quotes -- their prices are identical and then there is our funeral home prices at half their fees. I’m sure this identical or similar prices among funeral homes is typical across America until you get someone like Jessica Mitford said in her book “spills the beans on the mark-ups”
Kari Northey actually through our website www.peninsularcasket.com we have sold caskets to families all over the USA who have made arrangements at funeral homes all over America and have heard their stories. Batesville Casket Company around year 2004 tried to shut our business down by the “bill to, ship to” policy...we had to get creative and build our own delivery network by calling funeral homes all over America to see who would be willing to go to a Batesville Service Center, pick up a casket and deliver it to their competitor and make an easy $300-$500...95% percent of the funeral homes we called across America would not do this proving competition doesn’t exist. I have a friend who is a trade embalmer in Minneapolis, MN and wanted him to to go to the Batesville Service Center there and pick up a Marsellus Presidential and deliver it to a funeral home there. He told me couldn’t because if word got out that he delivered a casket from a 3rd party seller he would lose all of his trade embalming accounts in Minneapolis, showing collusion. All funeral homes in Minneapolis wanted $10,000 for the $5000 wholesale casket, so my brother agreed to drive it there from Detroit for $1500 saving the family)$3500. I received a phone call from NYPD Detective a few years ago. I was hesitant to call him back, but I did as I had only been to NYC one years before. He apologized, and said yes he was a cop, but he was head of the Knight of Columbus in his area and he was wondering why our Peninsular Casket Website was down or deleted. I told him it was down temporarily and then he told me how all the funeral homes in his area had set their prices high and all the same and they would use our website to confront the funeral homes on their prices. Similar stories in Portland, Oregon and San Francisco, CA. I have had conversations with Josh Slocum of Funeral Consumer Alliance in Vermont, Jim Rudolph, Tampa, FL who started Casket Depot, and Todd Baccinich, Ft. Lauderdale, FL who probably moved the most caskets nationwide, saving families thousands at www.casketsite.com Furthermore, thankfully we had a loyal Batesville Sales Rep who told us what was said behind our backs, like the time we delivered a Batesville Montrachet for $7200 (wholesale $6500 at the time) to a funeral home in Indiana near Chicago. The family was so proud of their casket selection for $13,000 after making arrangements, they went online and Google searched for the image of casket to show other family members. Our website and casket image showed up for $6900. Family was shocked, cancelled casket with funeral home and got it from us saving them almost $6000. Shortly thereafter we started getting nasty letters from Batesville’s lawyers threatening us on technicalities of using their logo with Peninsular Casket as we were only authorized to use it with our funeral home even though Batesville said our website was okay a year earlier as long as we said caskets were being provided by Purse Funeral Home. Lots of evidence out there of funeral homes working together and with suppliers to keep competition down and profits high.
Where were you in March, 2021? I so wish I had known of you before my husband died on March 1st. It was a nightmare of "you have to, you have to, you have to..." And just so people know, there is NO budget plan, no way to pay something monthly and they WILL hold your loved one for ransom until you pay....his health was too poor, we couldn't afford the payments for life insurance for him...church family sent enough resources that I was able to get him cremated asap...but how I wish I had known these things ahead of time. Blessings!
I'm starting to make my own plans much earlier than I'd planned because I want to be buried near my friend who died a few weeks ago. I've just purchased a burial plot. Do you recommend I save up and pay for my funeral in full in a few years time or start paying monthly payments within a few months or save and let my family pay for it on my behalf after I've gone.
@@KaritheMortician well I'm paying for my burial plot over the next 12 months so I can't start paying for my funeral just yet. I think I'll just save and pay it all in one go. I'm only 46 I'll try and get it paid before im 60. With my friend dying its kicked me up the butt. Im going to try and pay for my funeral myself I hadnt really gave it much thought till now I didn't know whether I wanted to be buried or cremated. My friend was buried in a lovely woodland at the crematorium I decided I would like to be buried close to him. If I didnt get the plot now id have missed out and would be buried further away from him.
I don't want to speak for Kari, but as a funeral professional I'm pretty sure all of us are big fans of prearrangements. It definitely takes pressure off families and if you as a person with no family were to preplan and prefund your funeral you would know your final wishes would be as you wanted them and the funeral home would be paid. They really, really appreciate that! If you don't prefund then it's difficult for them to get paid. And you may not end up with your preferred final wishes.
I wonder why they require marriage certs for the death cert? I am sure alot of older couples dont even have theirs anymore, I know my parents have no clue where theirs went :)
Wow, I feel like some really key things were missed and is from a narrow frame of mind? What about phoning around for prices, to get a feel for the funeral homes before choosing one? What about the option often available for the arrangements to be done at your home? Also, the assumption that embalming will happen? That a viewing will happen? What if a direct cremation is the preference? What about if these things you list aren’t desired? I think “blind trust” in a funeral director just because they are a professional is ill advised
I was the one to make my mother’s arrangements for her funeral. It was something you are never really prepared for even if the death was expected. I’ve watched pretty much all your videos as well as Caitlin and Little Miss Funeral, I had a sense of what was going to need to be purchased, options, etc. BUT! As soon as I walked into the funeral home to meet with the director, all that information went out the window. I was a nervous wreck! Everything i’ve learned from these videos suddenly left. Luckily the funeral director was very nice and explained everything to me and helped me to choose what was in our budget. I am a firm believer that no matter how prepared you are, you never really are.
No one should even begin making funeral arrangements until they have read "The Funeral Critic." That book makes it plain that the traditional funeral is too difficult for survivors and a fundamental change is needed in the way we send off our friends and relatives.
My former undertaker friend quit the business after 12 years. He said it was like being a bad car salesman. He told off his crooked boss and walked out.
This is same with my husband, he is still alive but this is what he always tells me, I am curious, do they still require clothing even if the person wants to be cremated?
When my father passed away suddenly, I was the only one not in shock or "deep mourning" out of my siblings. My mother lost her best friend and husband that she knew since she was 15. I have no idea but I was on auto pilot. I honestly have NO IDEA how I could've made it through without our funeral director. She was so incredible! Rachael at Matthysse Kuiper DeGraaf in Wyoming MI. She did so much extra and amazing. My dad loved Batman and without even us asking she had this Batman sign to rest on the back of the casket that then became the sticker on the lid. He went in his own Batcave. She had bookmarks made for us and memorial stickers for our cars with no charge. She was an angel in disguise. This video was great one.
Brilliant information. After doing this for my Dad, then my husband, then my Mom. This is great information. Thank you!
I made my own arrangements, so that my family/friends don't have to.
You're a smart woman. Make funeral arrangements when you're thinking objectively, and you don't become a victim of funeral directors' chicanery.
I want to do this for my self.
you are saving lots!!!
Same here!
@@RESophia
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I love you Kari! You have made after-life plans so more clear.
thank you carry for all you do I've been to funeral homes and I've seen some things these videos are very helpful help me understand everything all Funeral Directors go through as well as the family keep bringing the keep bringing the videos
ALWAYS a pleasure to hear from you ........
Excellent video Kari as always , all this information I had no idea . Thank you Kari
Great program. I had been through most of that arrangements with My mother, father and sister I tried to educated myself on how to be a better consumer. Thank this will help when it come to pre planning my own funeral.
Thank you Kari for the excellent new video. G-d Bless your compassion and very useful info on tender subjects. You help more people than you know.
when my dad was sick and he was in the hospital 27 times in one year a social worker told me to make funeral arrangements before, cause he would have many bills coming in and so his funeral would be put into a trust and no bill collector would be able to touch that money. My dad also wanted a party at his wake and all his groups to speak and sing. With my moms funeral my dad wanted an outfit that she loved and he did also. The problem with that was it was low cut and you would be able to see the embalming scar and I couldnt change his mind so when we came into the funeral home and the low cut in the front and you could see the cut even with a bandage over it so I pulled up the blouse and little more and no one knew anything different. thank you for all your information Kari
ugh, I guess your dad didnt believe you that you would see that incision. Many people are ignorant to the embalming process.
That is why at our funeral home we use a "bra strap incision" for women, so that cut would be hidden. It is also possible to suture it carefully and wax over an incision so it would be basically imperceptible. Whoever did the embalming did a bad job. This is always a precaution that should be taken for women. So sorry for your losses!
Thank you, Kari - this was another great video, with a lot of helpful information going into this important meeting. I think it will help family / friends think more clearly. Wished I had this information when my Dad passed away.
This is a wonderful video! Very detailed information all in one place. Thank you so much for this. I'm sure this will help many people.
Thank you Ms. Kari for such an informative video. I feel better to know that I can follow your advise in a difficult time when a love one dies.
This was an amazing video! I would not have thought of many of the things you mentioned. I wish I had known some of them when I went to arrange services for my brother.....it would have made it easier for me AND the funeral director. Thank you for this useful advise!!
This was an extremely informative! And I could hear the compassionate her voice. I’m really trying to understand why anyone would thumbs down this video?
Thank you so much!!
When my grandma passed away and we was making funeral arrangements for her. I got to choose everything. The casket, the thank you cards, book people sign, and everything else. I chose pink roses on it all. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It gave me so much peace and comfort.
Very nice!
Hi I lost my dad this week and his funeral is soon and you helped me so thanks
When my elderly mother died, my brother and I were very hands-on assisting our elderly father with the arrangements. The FD came to the house for the arrangement and was great. It was simplified because it was a direct cremation with only a visitation at the church followed by a church service. I wrote the obituary and my brother and I chose the photos to run in a slideshow presentation on my iPad during the visitation. Dad chose a dual urn and, when his time comes, he will be in the other half next to Mom. Great video, Kari!
We're going to have to talk to him and ask what he wants. He hasn't really said that he wants anything specific. There's 3 of us kids...two here in PA and one in GA. Maybe they'll alternate between homes. I doubt we will bury them. ROAD TRIP. LOL.
Hi Kari I'm new to watching your videos, I'm not sure how I came across them on RUclips but I'm glad I did. I'm not in this profession at all, but I find your videos interesting as I have never taken time to understand what and why things are done when you die, I didn't think I could watch some of your videos on cremation but I have and thank you for sharing this information and experience. Thank you from Nancy in Scotland.
Very helpful information, thank you very much Kari!
Thank you for all of this information!
That's a winner:) good stuff Kari:) will absolutely help a lot of people ☺
I wish that I had learned this information 40 years jago. There are a lot of things I wanted to do I assumed it was not allowed. I did insist that my husband’s Brittany Trial and hunting dog be able to visit the funeral home. God Bless you for sharing this information. 🙏🏻❤️
Wonderful videos thank you and I can see as each year passes the quality hi Def etc. of the video is better :-). I'm learning a lot of what to expect as my parents are getting near the time to pass on so thank you
Thank you. I so enjoy all your videos.💗
Thank you for all of the information, very helpful.😇😇😇
A lot of good information. Thank you.
Wow! I’m realizing how very blessed our family was when my dad died. We’re all from a very small southern town. Our family always used the same funeral home which was family owned and operated. Our funeral director knew my dad quite well so he knew how he looked. His everyday appearance in life. He made everything so very simple for us. Some things my mother had, but some she didn’t. He was in the Navy for eight years, but my mother had no idea how to go about getting the military paperwork. Because he didn’t serve during war time, we didn’t want a big fanfare or anything. Just the presentation of the flag. She also didn’t have a copy of their marriage license. The funeral home took care of all of that for us. Things are so very different in small towns. Because he was a resident of the little town I grew up in his burial plot was free in the town cemetery. We didn’t have all of the extra fees that some people have to deal with. The same will likely be true when my mother’s time comes. Small town southern living definitely has its advantages. I feel beyond blessed right now.
Very educational video to save. Love that you offer information in an easy to understand format. Mom on hospice so was searching for some answers and all was kindly given Kari
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much for this very informative video.
Thank you. My father just passed a couple of weeks ago. My baby sister did all of the arrangements with the funeral director. After watching your video, I am learning more about funeral. Funerals or death were the last thing on my mind until this past of couple although my two younger siblings died many years prior. I have to watch this video again in the future.
big hugs to you
Great advice ,thank you for making this video .
Thank you for all you do :)
Very helpful video! My grandfather passed away on 12/26/21 and my grandmother is taking her time because it hit her hard losing her partner if 50 years. Maybe for your next video you can condense this information? Sorry to nag but I have A.D.D. and watching this half hour video was incredibly difficult for me haha. Other than that thank you for posting this! RUclips is the future for information and learning!
Kari can you help by telling us how to decide on a funeral home when it comes to picking out where you want to have your services.
Fabulosa presentación . Gracias 🙏
I found this very helpful. I have no-one and, although healthy now, I'm making plans, etc in advance since nobody else will. For example, I didn't think about needing an outfit with a high neckline. Fortunately I checked the one I had already settled on and it does. I did look over your channel and saw a few other videos to check out on prefunding, etc.
So, thank you for your kindness in making these videos.
Always so good to plan!!
So, so helpful. Thank you!
Kari, this was really helpful information. But I have a few questions. #1. I don't think my husband has a social security card and I don't know it. #2. I never seen a birth certificate either. #3. We are not picture taking people. #4. What if my husband should die when he is really old and we don't have like 6 people to carry a coffin. What happens in all these cases. This video sure gave me alot to think about and how I don't really know some things. Thanks for everything. Take care from Bethlehem Pa
Wow this is so much work 👀
This was so very helpful. Thank you!
Really like the written text!
Excellent wisdom and advice. TY
thank you!
Many people are unaware that they have the option to purchase funeral products such as caskets and urns online. Many of the big-box retailers such as WalMart, CostCo, and Sam’s Club offer caskets and there are a number of large, reputable online retailers. Costs can be considerably lower than buying through a funeral home and the shopping can be done from the comfort of your own home.
Thank you for reiterating what I educate people on across my channel
Well after viewing several of your videos it's becoming abundantly clear that I simply can't afford to to die .
Me either!
What happens if i die and i have no insurance at all and family doesn't have money. Just curious because this was the case with my mother but fortunately they let us pay it off.
Thank you Kari it’s tough trying to get things done when your head is not in the right place.
Kari Northey I don’t know if I asked you this. Do you own your own funeral home or do you work for a company
Kari Northey ok understood
Great video
hey this is a random question, but could you allocate information about eastern star and masonic rites?
All the information is helpful thank you
Glad it was helpful!
I saved pictures of the headstone I want, the engraving type, the casket type and outer casket vault type. So these are in a folder which my loved ones will execute when I pass, if I cant make them myself before I pass. I am healthy right now but I want my wishes carried out. 🙂✝️
That is great you have things all laid out!
This is very helpful, thank you.
you are welcome!
Great guidance 🙏 thank you
You are so welcome
You and one person for moral support is all you need when you go to the funeral home to make arrangements. Have all your funeral info covered with the family that matters before you go to the funeral home to make final arrangements.
Thank you!
Hi! I made my own arrangements within the last 2 yrs and I used a well respected funeral home in the city I'm from. I don't want my husband and family to be burdened with that cost.
That is awesome!
I hope you see this. When my dad passed, his funeral was held in Florida. We drove down from Michigan. When it came time for the funeral service, my dad's wife came up to us and asked I play and sing for the funeral (I am a professional soloist). I readily agreed. When we received the itemized list for paying the funeral costs, listed was $150 for the soloist and $200 for the pianist (both me). I found that rather amusing needless to say. Also, I refused to pay the funeral home for my services. They were very put out by this and kept saying, "This is your father's funeral and you don't want to pay for the music provided?" I explained I provided it. They were still adamant I pay them. I left without paying them for what I did. That was the craziest funeral for which I ever sang/played. That was nuts to be sure. I won't go into all the weddings for which I've sung and played - they are another story altogether. You do a great job!!!! Kudos to you.
Obviously they were missing something there lol so weird
Your content is so touching
Thank you!
Very helpful Kari
thank you!
Great tips for me that I am just launching into pre need funeral arrangements! I wonder if you have these tips written down like a checklist?
Wonderful! I have a packet for purchase.
I'm 60. Heart surgery last year after a heart attack I didn't know I was having.
I have no family left. Only one close friend who is older than I.
I want a direct cremation. My partner was cremated 12 years ago after a failed heart surgery. She wanted to be buried with me, hence her cremation..
I'll probably have to hire someone to scatter our ashes. No fuss. No muss. I'll be making those arrangements before the end of this year.
Do you have a close friend or anyone to appoint
He loves his family and children he a awesome dad.
?
Kari, the explanation you’ve provided was very helpful. Thanks again for the compassionate work that you and your staff provide 🙏🏼
Glad it was helpful!
Dear ma’am , thank you so much for your usual info . Because I am planning for my father service next Saturday and cremate after . Do you have any more new info during the covid ?
I am sure you will plan a beautiful service for him!!
Thank you so much!
You are welcome!
Very good info
Thanks!
You are so sweet. When my husband died, I was really totally gone. I can not remember a lot at all. My stepdaughter and my husbands sister made most of the arrangements. I know that I said no Tina Turner for music. And my sister in law chose a piece of music from her. Horrid. Now 15 month on, i come back to reality and realise that there are so many decisions made I would never have agreed to if I had been compus mentos. If I write that ok..
I am so sorry for the regret of that moment.
Just lost a loved one and it’s so confusing who to call first when it happens. Do you call 911 or do you call the funeral home. How do you pick a funeral home? So many questions.
@Cat x sorry for your lost
If someone dies at home you should call 911. The police will come and assess the situation and contact the medical examiner. The medical examiner will either come to the house to examine and release the body or will verbally tell the police it's okay to release the body. You can then contact a funeral home who will come to transport the body to the funeral home. You can call several funeral homes if you need to and ask questions until you find one you are comfortable with. Even if you decide on one to pick up your loved one and you change your mind the next day, you can have a different funeral home collect the body from the first funeral home. If it is a suspected crime scene the body will more than likely be transported to the medical examiner's office for autopsy. I am in the funeral profession. So sorry for your loss. Hope this helped:)
What happens if you don't want a funeral home involved in the burial process?
Thanks Kari Northey for the video. There's a lot that has to be done in a short period of time. If you don't have a cemetery but Express where you want to be buried at, will the funeral home help you with getting a plot or should that be prearranged.
Hi and good morning Kari and all subscribers....hey people please watch this video again and kari's other video...know your rights...jot down the pertinent details you will be dealing with.....I come from big families in my circle of family and relatives...been through these enough......please also may be ahead of time before the need ...sit down sometime and discuss as siblings or family how you could make that time easier when it does happen.....find common ground you can all agree with....appoint a family member who is level headed and has a value of common sense and integrity who could handle the arrangement conference to your satisfaction:) too many cooks spoil the food.....seen it happen....it can tear families apart at a time they need each other most...there must be trust among the family as well......as Kari has said have a meeting before heading to the funeral home...send a handful not a room full.....make sure you're all in agreement:) start gathering some of these things now and store them.....that at need time may come like a thief in the night and you'll be better prepared:) my last bit of advice....do the world and everyone else a favor.....PRE PLAN IF YOU CAN !!! in my case it will be...one call does it all.....just my removal and that's it:) my twin is my executor....no arguments no nothing...just my wishes:) update your final arrangements now and again as things can change.....you will be glad you did this for yourself and your family:)) sorry sooo long but I am a big proponent of pre planning...seen too many arguments among families....God bless you...
Great video, but that was a lot to take in. I wrote some stuff down though. I’m pushing 50 and I haven’t really thought about arrangements yet. What if my finances are limited? I remember asking you this question before and you told me what to do , but I forgot.
Kari Northey Thank you Kari! I wrote everything thing down.
Very good educational video. If you cant trust a funeral director who can you trust. Shame the ones who did unethical things out a bad name on the industry
Kari Northey we always make deals with our families. A family tells me they only have $2000 in cash in hand and my fee for Traditional Funeral w/rental casket followed by Cremation is $2495...done deal for $2000. Another family really wants the Batesville Primrose round end unit for mom or a solid hardwood for dad instead of a 20 GA Non-Sealer Batesville Gemini but are short on funds and I go back to little league days and partying in high school with the family, deal done whatever casket you want, but you owe me coffee if I see you at Tim Hortons...my brother and I got our first car at age 16, a beater 1975 Chevy Pick-Up Truck because my dad traded a funeral for it...worn out furniture for our apartment in college, my dad credited a family $1000 towards a funeral...need our parking lot seal coated and at need family sees that, brings it up during arrangement conference and wants to do it in trade, deal done...HBO’s Six Feet Under had an entire episode devoted to this deal making.
More Haters? Really! Majority of funeral homes do not budge on their fees, but the flip side - a lot more families are becoming price conscious, just this week we went to two different funeral homes for removals as families switched because they found our affordable fees online. Sometimes I try to tell the other funeral home owner behind the scenes to just match my price or or come down on his fees and keep the call, but they get even more upset, that I suggested it. I used to have a policy for a while, once another funeral home had been called, I wouldn’t get involved if family wanted to switch because family is already agitated from first funeral home and first funeral home behind scenes may have already done a “quickie” embalming job which needs attention/correction and doctor has already signed death certificate, which first funeral home then won’t turn over and doctor tells you they won’t sign a second time...big headaches. Lastly reason lots of funeral homes won’t budge on price is they own all the places within a 30 minute drive radius or as I was taught in mortuary school to exchange prices with your competitors and keep your prices with $100 of each other. In my market area Lenawee County Michigan this is true, it is amazing that all my competition across the board, from market research and families showing me price quotes -- their prices are identical and then there is our funeral home prices at half their fees. I’m sure this identical or similar prices among funeral homes is typical across America until you get someone like Jessica Mitford said in her book “spills the beans on the mark-ups”
Kari Northey actually through our website www.peninsularcasket.com we have sold caskets to families all over the USA who have made arrangements at funeral homes all over America and have heard their stories. Batesville Casket Company around year 2004 tried to shut our business down by the “bill to, ship to” policy...we had to get creative and build our own delivery network by calling funeral homes all over America to see who would be willing to go to a Batesville Service Center, pick up a casket and deliver it to their competitor and make an easy $300-$500...95% percent of the funeral homes we called across America would not do this proving competition doesn’t exist. I have a friend who is a trade embalmer in Minneapolis, MN and wanted him to to go to the Batesville Service Center there and pick up a Marsellus Presidential and deliver it to a funeral home there. He told me couldn’t because if word got out that he delivered a casket from a 3rd party seller he would lose all of his trade embalming accounts in Minneapolis, showing collusion. All funeral homes in Minneapolis wanted $10,000 for the $5000 wholesale casket, so my brother agreed to drive it there from Detroit for $1500 saving the family)$3500. I received a phone call from NYPD Detective a few years ago. I was hesitant to call him back, but I did as I had only been to NYC one years before. He apologized, and said yes he was a cop, but he was head of the Knight of Columbus in his area and he was wondering why our Peninsular Casket Website was down or deleted. I told him it was down temporarily and then he told me how all the funeral homes in his area had set their prices high and all the same and they would use our website to confront the funeral homes on their prices. Similar stories in Portland, Oregon and San Francisco, CA. I have had conversations with Josh Slocum of Funeral Consumer Alliance in Vermont, Jim Rudolph, Tampa, FL who started Casket Depot, and Todd Baccinich, Ft. Lauderdale, FL who probably moved the most caskets nationwide, saving families thousands at www.casketsite.com
Furthermore, thankfully we had a loyal Batesville Sales Rep who told us what was said behind our backs, like the time we delivered a Batesville Montrachet for $7200 (wholesale $6500 at the time) to a funeral home in Indiana near Chicago. The family was so proud of their casket selection for $13,000 after making arrangements, they went online and Google searched for the image of casket to show other family members. Our website and casket image showed up for $6900. Family was shocked, cancelled casket with funeral home and got it from us saving them almost $6000. Shortly thereafter we started getting nasty letters from Batesville’s lawyers threatening us on technicalities of using their logo with Peninsular Casket as we were only authorized to use it with our funeral home even though Batesville said our website was okay a year earlier as long as we said caskets were being provided by Purse Funeral Home. Lots of evidence out there of funeral homes working together and with suppliers to keep competition down and profits high.
I have life insurance but so so many don't. For the family that are less fortunate what do they do?
Now that would be an interesting video as well!
🙏 thank you
You are so welcome
Where were you in March, 2021? I so wish I had known of you before my husband died on March 1st. It was a nightmare of "you have to, you have to, you have to..." And just so people know, there is NO budget plan, no way to pay something monthly and they WILL hold your loved one for ransom until you pay....his health was too poor, we couldn't afford the payments for life insurance for him...church family sent enough resources that I was able to get him cremated asap...but how I wish I had known these things ahead of time. Blessings!
I am so sorry you felt so lost :( Big hugs to you!!!
I'm starting to make my own plans much earlier than I'd planned because I want to be buried near my friend who died a few weeks ago. I've just purchased a burial plot. Do you recommend I save up and pay for my funeral in full in a few years time or start paying monthly payments within a few months or save and let my family pay for it on my behalf after I've gone.
There are benefits of payments and paying in full.
@@KaritheMortician well I'm paying for my burial plot over the next 12 months so I can't start paying for my funeral just yet. I think I'll just save and pay it all in one go. I'm only 46 I'll try and get it paid before im 60. With my friend dying its kicked me up the butt. Im going to try and pay for my funeral myself I hadnt really gave it much thought till now I didn't know whether I wanted to be buried or cremated. My friend was buried in a lovely woodland at the crematorium I decided I would like to be buried close to him. If I didnt get the plot now id have missed out and would be buried further away from him.
Do you support pre arrangements I have no family so the arrangements are left up to me.
I don't want to speak for Kari, but as a funeral professional I'm pretty sure all of us are big fans of prearrangements. It definitely takes pressure off families and if you as a person with no family were to preplan and prefund your funeral you would know your final wishes would be as you wanted them and the funeral home would be paid. They really, really appreciate that! If you don't prefund then it's difficult for them to get paid. And you may not end up with your preferred final wishes.
What's the difference between life Insurance & funeral / Burial Insurance ?
Making my moms arrangements now. She is being released to hospice care.
Big hugs to you!
So informational, as always.
THANK YOU! 2024.
you are welcome!
Thanks............
you are welcome
Can a local funeral home send my body to Arlington?
I wonder why they require marriage certs for the death cert? I am sure alot of older couples dont even have theirs anymore, I know my parents have no clue where theirs went :)
Wow, I feel like some really key things were missed and is from a narrow frame of mind?
What about phoning around for prices, to get a feel for the funeral homes before choosing one?
What about the option often available for the arrangements to be done at your home?
Also, the assumption that embalming will happen? That a viewing will happen? What if a direct cremation is the preference? What about if these things you list aren’t desired?
I think “blind trust” in a funeral director just because they are a professional is ill advised
I made mine 15yrs
Ago
Nice to have in place!
Kari you look super fine in this video ! Back from vacation??
yes this is an older video though
I was the one to make my mother’s arrangements for her funeral. It was something you are never really prepared for even if the death was expected. I’ve watched pretty much all your videos as well as Caitlin and Little Miss Funeral, I had a sense of what was going to need to be purchased, options, etc. BUT! As soon as I walked into the funeral home to meet with the director, all that information went out the window. I was a nervous wreck! Everything i’ve learned from these videos suddenly left. Luckily the funeral director was very nice and explained everything to me and helped me to choose what was in our budget. I am a firm believer that no matter how prepared you are, you never really are.
Thank you for sharing this Joe!
I hav my packet from the funeral home for my wishes. I jus cant seem to pick a pen up. I get anxiety just trying.
Push through and get the info down. It doesn't mean you will die as soon as it is done :)
What's the cheapest lovely funerals? Or the cheapest way to arrange your own funerals?
Thank you for the information. My dad will be cremated.
Good to know that ahead of time!
No one should even begin making funeral arrangements until they have read "The Funeral Critic." That book makes it plain that the traditional funeral is too difficult for survivors and a fundamental change is needed in the way we send off our friends and relatives.
Yeah no...
Thanks I just hit 65
Good businwss to make money in a difficult tine
WHen is it not a difficult time?
I really want to be a Funaral Director when i am old enough
Awesome
Do you have you own funeral home ?
damn I've just been dumping them in the ocean
:)
My former undertaker friend quit the business after 12 years. He said it was like being a bad car salesman. He told off his crooked boss and walked out.
Hey
My late husband didn't want a funeral or visitation. He was cremated, his ashes scattered, and a memorial service held later.
Very nice
This is same with my husband, he is still alive but this is what he always tells me, I am curious, do they still require clothing even if the person wants to be cremated?