No Child Should Ever Grieve Alone | Carly Woythaler-Runestad | TEDxLincoln
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Given at the 2015 TEDxLincoln event, Re:Think. Carly Woythaler-Runestad gives a thought-provoking talk on how, as a society, we need to “Re:Think” how children’s grief is addressed and how to create a supportive environment which emphasizes the holistic needs of bereaved families.
Carly Woythaler-Runestad has been the executive director of the Mourning Hope Grief Center for over 7 years. Mourning Hope is a nonprofit, grief support network for children, teens, young adults and their families who have experienced the death of someone significant in their life. She has served on a number of diverse statewide boards and in 2014 was elected to the National Alliance for Grieving Children’s Board of Directors.
Find more at www.TEDxLincoln.com
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Thank you for this talk. I'm a primary school teacher and one of my children has just lost his father, suddenly and unexpectedly. I am resourcing a number of sources to help me understand how best to support him.
This talk has really helped.
I lost my dad when I was 4, in 1981 he had a massive heart attack playing football, my grief as tuck me to substance misuse, alcohol and other horrible places, today I’m 44 in my second year off a counselling degree, we never got any help back then, me and my brother who was 10, he’s 48 and still finds it hard talking about my dad. Refuses too😢. Hopefully I will be able to help kids never to feel how me and my brother did, hopefully talk about their loss, never go through what me and my brother did 🙏 this women speaks so much sense Thank you 🙏
I also lost my Dad at 4 in a car accident. I am 67 so that was a long time ago and I still feel the pain. I am angry for having been cheated of time with him, sad for the loss and felt very different from all the other kids who had their parents. I did get a great step-Dad, but its not the same. I would love to communicate with you if you are open to it. I have found a lot of insight over the years, but still struggle.
This is powerful. I am currently doing research in this area, so I have gone through a lot of In depth journals and other research studies. This clip made me weep, because everything she mentions has a lot of truth in it. Of course we all go through grief in some sort of way, but Childhood bereavement is something that shouldn't be ignored and should always be taken into account; instead of thinking those children/young people will get over it, or 'they are too young to understand'. Bereavement that is experienced earlier on in life, can shape a child's mind, and heart in both positive and negative ways. It's sad. Again, a powerful and brilliant talk.
I couldn't agree more with this talk. I've been studying buddhist philosophy and felt very uneasy with the idea of "letting go" of loved ones. I think it's good to recover from grief, but why should we need to let go of that relationship? It's possible to move on from a death, while still remembering everything they meant to us and being able to be happy again.
i don't think buddhist philosophy teaches to let go of the relationship. i'm no expert but i think it's about letting go of the idea that people are here forever. acknowledging death is inevitable is part of life. Buddhists say pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Its more like letting go of the Need to have that living being in life, so you can have your normal life Style.
i find it so hard. first you are left alone as kind. and when you have Trauma symptoms when you are grown up you are left alone again as you are grown up and not supposed to have problems then you start to accuse yourself for being not adequate
When I grew up these resources weren't there. No one talked about it. Now schools have access to grief councilors who are available to talk not just with the child, but advise the teachers and sometimes talk to the students. One of the problems with the loss of a child is it can trigger suicide with other students. This is something that must be taken very seriously even at an early age.
I just read A beautifully written book that helps children deal with loss. It's called I will always love you by Melissa Lyons. It is actually comforting for both children and adults.
This made me think about my own mortality, and about teaching kids I don't even have yet.
I'm really feeling very guilty here. I lost my husband and I feel now that because of my grief and trying to think of how I was going to take care of our only child who was a very young adolescent, I didn't really discuss the death with her. It's been over 30 yrs but I do see some anger issues and don't seem to know how to talk with her, she is and has always been very strong willed. She is the most precious gift from God in my life 💕
Please tell her she is the most precious gift from God in your life. Also it's ok just to admit openly to her that you didn't know how to talk to her when she was young but you can both talk now.
I'm guessing her anger is about feeling unimportant and not included. However hesitantly you reach out to her, it's likely to be super helpful. It's honestly never too late. x
Really, when my mother dies I probably won't be able to live any more. When I think about when the time comes for my nan or parents, I cry. I'm crying while writing.
stage 4 pancreatic cancer there’s no getting better nobody has ever gotten stage 4 pancreatic and not died because of a reason of the cancer the average life expectancy is 6 months for me my dad he responded so well to the cemo like it was a miracle until to well and it kilt of of the cancer in his liver and he died because from internally bleeding and his organs were failing and his liver failed and there was acid in his heart and his heart couldn’t work properly and stopped beeping at the hospital my dad was stage 4 pancreatic cancer and stage 4 means it’s everywhere there is no sergery it’s everywhere I remember when he died 3 years ago when I was 11 and I didn’t understand anything and I just sat in my room in the corner crying hours every day all I understood was daddy is gone and not coming back and those words I’m so sorry for your loss they don’t do anything they don’t matter to me unless it brings my dad back and I remember not knowing what to tell people where I was for 1 week and a half of school after that my mom forced me back to school and cemo was horrible watching my dad through up
My daddy died when I was seven. I can relate to what you are saying especially people's well meant words of comfort that actually don't help at all. I wanted people to understand how horrendous it is, but people don't acknowledge that. People won't get into the sense of injustice and devastation with the bereaved child. Other people seem to think it's just sad and that doesn't do a child's emotions justice at all.
my children lost their father on 1-16-16. great insight on children grief.
Ventidue XXII I lost mine in 72, when I was 8. Your doing awesome. My mom still wont talk about my dad. That's why I'm here. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Much love. PS Children of loss, become very empathetic adults. Take what you can get, right.
No child should but so many have...I hope research changes that and if they do have to grieve its in a place where they are loved and safe not exploited
Thank you so much for sharing
My daughter’s dad died May 21,2018. Wish I had seen this.
Sounded like tappu ke Papa.
How do you allow yourself to cry and be upset and not push your feelings away
tifah boyd I honestly don’t know
how and I meant to cope
I have just lost my granddad today and I think its my fault
FireTime dont think that.. dont blane yourself
Ok so listen so wait I was gonna give you advice cause I lost my dad 2 months ago wait it’s been a year for you never mind
Mom died 2 years ago.. often year 2 is worse..is for me...
when Alan Rickman died I lost it. I was only 12 but I blocked out the world and cut myself. I got into fights and cried all the time. my friends and even a few of my teachers watched these videos just for me. they, no, you helped turn my life around. thank you for addressing this serious problem.
my suddenly blocked me out just because I was in grief and shut me down and when I try to make friends they make fun of me
I'm sorry to hear that. How are you doing now?
and i'm only a kid the things I go through I have already lost a family member a dog I get bullied I get taken he mick out of because i'm ginger and my skills
FireTime A ginger is about to marry Meghan Markle. Take that bully's. You seem amazing. Tell people, eventually someone will listen. I'm listening. The world is full of people like you and me. I'm at the other end of the spectrum. I'm 52 and just learning to ask. Please don't waste your life on what other people think. Can you imagine, on your death bed saying, "The thing I'm most proud of, is being a knob"? Nope. I have 4 boys and hope at least one of them are as, open and lovely as you. I know I'll think of you often. Please, make Yourself proud and show the assholes.
Why does everyone have to do these videos it makes some of our griefings worse and we all grief in different ways I felt like commiting suicide and I got into fights and nearly killed someone
FireTime same
Except for the killing and fights
fupe