You know what irritates me? When people say "oh I have no friends" or "it's so hard to make friends" and then they go on to talk about the fabulous annual friend vacation they went on with their 10 best friends last summer. Give me a break. These tips are amazing for those of us who are sincerely struggling to make any friends as adults.
It's easy to get acquainted with people. Comes with being a military brat and Veteran. Finding true friends is a bit more complicated. That's a very small circle.
Thanks Vanessa, I never thought about friendship in this way. I am struggling to make friends as an adult right now. I get so excited when I meet someone and the whole thing just get to a dead end. Usually the person stops writing or answering me.😌
i am watching this as the title was something i hadnt thought about. No loserness about curiousity. Yes making friends as an adult is difficult for everyone.
I'd like to be your friend, i'd like to get to know you cause i've not been able to connect with anyone for some time and have had others drain me emotionally.
To make new friends; be friendly, be kind, be genuinely interested in others, be yourself, ask questions to get to know people, and be willing to share a little about yourself, too. When you meet someone remarkable or interesting, exchange emails or contact info. Make an effort. Most people are too busy, so find someone who is interested enough to make time for real life connections. HTH.
One point not listed in this video is that we need more groups of mutual interest to make friends but that group has to show a particular value of character. A simple interest not get close people...a value get. And of course help that friend in a gol is crucial.
I really like your videos. You have a good presentation style that is engaging. Your points are in accessible, bite-size chunks and I've found them useful
Love that video thank you! I got pretty good tips here on how to find the right friends. I got rid of all my old toxic friends, so now I'm looking for new ones and this video is a really good one. Thank you very much!
Cant even imagine having that kind of time to devote to a friend which explains a lot lol . In my personal experience though it was even harder to make friends as a kid and there was much more stigma and bullying for those of us who didn't fit in ! I sure wouldn't want to go back ....
Good info but she left out two very important things. 1. Mutual disclosure & 2. Consistency. You learn to share by disclosing info about yourselfs over time together which builds trust & being consistent with meeting in person face to face. You really can't just flat out ask people out like the way it used to be thats why you need to find a way to be around the same people by doing something consistently, preferably something you like. Familiarity helps with asking someone out.
The blush was def distracting, but useful tips. Glad to know it’s not just me that has a hard time finding friends. I like the visualizing what they will look like & also going/be at the places, doing the things you want to be doing with said friend, to look & find them. #mutualinterests
Im having a hard time finding friends. The people surrounding me enjoys drinking and smoking which I'm not into. The ones I like have kids and they can't hang out with me since they're not available most of the time. But it's okay. I grown to entertain myself like watching videos like these.
Hello, i've been the same, i had work colleagues who mostly liked to drink on weekends. I've lost touch with them now. I dont smoke as i have mild Asthma. I've been feeling lonely for some time now, would you like to be friends? Im not on FB, or Whatsapp any of those social media. Only YT and i have Google Hangouts. I can share a picture of myself if you're curious to see what i look like. :)
It's so funny that I'm coming across this video on 2018! I'm not entirely sure but I feel like I lost my best friend as of today. Listening to everything you were saying I can recall all of those stages vividly and it was amazing until there were some mixed feelings that were expressed verbally. You can't take words back...or great memories! But lesson learned and now I have an idea of what I'm looking for in my next friendship.
I need this vid!!! Thank u! I find this works. I was wondering just like dating do I dress to attract certain friends for example if I'm look thru a crowd for a friend isn't that based on appearance & I think that means ppl r doing the same to me? Should I dress the way I'd want my friend to look?
Thanks for your question! You may find these articles give you some insight: www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-make-friends/ www.scienceofpeople.com/communication-issues/ If you are still looking for an answer however, feel free to reach out to support@scienceofpeople.com :)
people have commented that she got way too much blush ... but I was just listening so attentively that I didn’t even register all those things. Some people act like they themselves are perfect all the time..
Does anyone actually reply to these comments? Lol Question: I'm a young woman and as mentioned, I haven't experienced the joys of true friendship since a young child. I have ZERO female friends. Not bc I want it that way. But bc it is extremely difficult. Now, women either hate me off top OR want to have sex with me. I'm not being conceited, just realistic, but I'm an attractive woman. And it seems like there is no middle ground. The fact that she wants us to pursue friends as we would dating I feel would only exacerbate the issue I seem to face. How can I makes friends without sex or jealousy being a thing??? I am mature minded and not petty or jealous in anyway nor am I a lesbian lol... So I could definitely use some more advice. Thanks in advance whoever can help out🙂
When we are children our spirits are pure and we love and accept everyone because thats what we receive in return. Then we grow up and learn that there are many hurt people out there due to their experiences and it's harder to approach other adults who are no longer the sweet, loving innocent souls as children. Girls learn about jealousy and envy quick because of insecure grown females that model that behavior. Emotionally insecure people will parent their children to become similar when they grow up. Most often anyway. #HumanRace
Maybe find some classes you are interested in doing like cooking or exercise or whatever you are interested in where there are lots of other people who may be flying solo in that space, The treat new friends as dating thing would probably not work for a lot of people. no offence to the "expert.
Sending you some love! Great video/information... maybe in the future we'll have more decent apps for finding good friends, not just dating orientated stuff.
I want to support the channel by purchasing the book however I can't seem to find it on Amazon nor Barnes and noble. Is there a way for me to still purchase this book
She may never graduate cosmetic class, but her psychology is spot on. Besides, at least she wears it better than Tammy Fay Baker, or Mimi, from the Drew Carey Show!
I'd like to make friends, im 34 and i've been mostly socially isolated since college. I can go out in public but dont talk or mix with anyone. Im a normal guy and im creative (i like drawing and sci fi), it never used to bother me but lately i dont know what it is, i just dont want to be isolated from everyone for rest of my life, i know not everyone is cynical or narcissist.
Making friends in all levels it does nit life partner r friend when that gender is not there or some indifferent there to becoming friend then each time s it will be bring u closer to that person and gender in ideas relational relationship which are meant to be with
I want a best friend but I love being with my husband more than anyone. I get annoyed by anyone else. Plus im to lazy to keep a friend, it takes to much energy to hang out or go somewhere. When I go out with my husband it's more natural and there's not too much effort on my part
Ok, so on the one hand, it is interesting (especially the "take it easy" advice), on the other hand the whole "help them with their goals" for me is too result driven. Friends are people I like to hand around for no particular reason, because we can laugh together and chat and have a good time not "useful" people to help me clean my garage or get back in shape. Just like in love life, this approach is a little too much for me. Paople are not products. Neither am I. Also, some of my best friends (or some of my past boyfriends) don't necessarily share common interest with me, more an attitude toward life, they wouldn't click the "right" boxes in a survey, so the whole visualization thing, again is a little narrowing in my opinion. Life has more imagination than we do, so it is really important for me to remain open. Thanks anyways, interesting stuff
you just haven't had enough growth. when you realize most of the people around you don't care about your true happiness then you won't have Vampire groupies around - simple
I wouldn't compare making friends as a teen vs adult in a negative way about yourself. Kids & teens, which included us at one point, really have no standards on who they invite into their life and for the most part try to acquire as many "friends" as possible. Plus there are no responsibilities, families, etc. Naturally it will be more difficult making friends as an adult.
Find out more in our full article on this topic:
www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-make-friends/
You know what irritates me? When people say "oh I have no friends" or "it's so hard to make friends" and then they go on to talk about the fabulous annual friend vacation they went on with their 10 best friends last summer. Give me a break. These tips are amazing for those of us who are sincerely struggling to make any friends as adults.
It's easy to get acquainted with people. Comes with being a military brat and Veteran. Finding true friends is a bit more complicated. That's a very small circle.
That's true!
As a Navy kid I can empathize with the need to rush the relationship to try and get to a point of hoping they won’t forget you.
The information Vanessa is sharing has been absolutely helpful and on point for me. Who cares about the blush?
Annie Pena Yeah! You're right!
Annie Pena ...ok. I care a little.😶
Monica Creator 😆
Real friends are honest and tell you the truth. If you have a booger sticking out your nose a friend will tell you to clean it up.
its diverting my attention..it is too much :/
Thanks Vanessa,
I never thought about friendship in this way. I am struggling to make friends as an adult right now. I get so excited when I meet someone and the whole thing just get to a dead end. Usually the person stops writing or answering me.😌
did you ever thought about to do a coaching in this case?
I feel like a loser because I'm at the point of watching this. It's cold world. The struggle is real. Making friends as an adult seems so formal.
no friend, you arent the only one. Most people actually feel like this, lonely y'know, but it isn't just socially acceptable to admit to it.
Andrew Tan Making "Friends" as an adult seems so hypocrytical....so untrue
i am watching this as the title was something i hadnt thought about. No loserness about curiousity. Yes making friends as an adult is difficult for everyone.
Spot on.. Hahaha think you are watching this clip you feel like this
@@sexcorpio6976 ja true very difficult to get true friends.. I am lucky moved to a new country and I have 1 good friend here
Vanessa you know What? You 're amazing, a gift to our generation. Keep rocking 😘
I’m awful at finding friends. They all just drain me for what I can do for them, but rarely take my advice or reciprocate.
I'd like to be your friend, i'd like to get to know you cause i've not been able to connect with anyone for some time and have had others drain me emotionally.
Hi
Step 1 courtship
0:55
Step 2 flirting
2:48
Step 3 Wooing
2:48
Step4 dating
4:05
Step 5 love 5:03
Thank you for outlining these points.
To make new friends; be friendly, be kind, be genuinely interested in others, be yourself, ask questions to get to know people, and be willing to share a little about yourself, too. When you meet someone remarkable or interesting, exchange emails or contact info. Make an effort. Most people are too busy, so find someone who is interested enough to make time for real life connections. HTH.
One point not listed in this video is that we need more groups of mutual interest to make friends but that group has to show a particular value of character.
A simple interest not get close people...a value get. And of course help that friend in a gol is crucial.
This lady is fantastic!
Vanessa you are a natural beauty you don't need too much makeup xx I love ur videos x
I really like your videos. You have a good presentation style that is engaging. Your points are in accessible, bite-size chunks and I've found them useful
I love all of yourself
Thanks for normalizing
I really struggle with making and connecting deeper friendships
Oh thank you! It's not always easy, but by being open and genuine, you're already on the path to forming stronger bonds. 💖
I can’t even get a boyfriend... So what Vanessa is really trying to tell me is I can’t get a friend either! Haha😂
Hahahahaha you seriously just made me LOL here alone on my couch!! My dogs are looking at me like I'm nuts
Have you been able to make any friends since this thread, i hope so :)
So you think finding a boyfriend is like d**ks raining from the sky? A friend is a stepping stone! Your expectations are too damn high!
Wow, never really thought of friendship this way. Thanks!
Love that video thank you! I got pretty good tips here on how to find the right friends. I got rid of all my old toxic friends, so now I'm looking for new ones and this video is a really good one. Thank you very much!
did you ever thought about to do a coaching in this case?
Cant even imagine having that kind of time to devote to a friend which explains a lot lol . In my personal experience though it was even harder to make friends as a kid and there was much more stigma and bullying for those of us who didn't fit in ! I sure wouldn't want to go back ....
I actually just moved to Portland. The few friends I moved in with said it's hard to meet people. I guess I will see for myself, thanks for the tips!
I made all my friends though my dog. I highly recommend it 🤗
Good info but she left out two very important things. 1. Mutual disclosure & 2. Consistency. You learn to share by disclosing info about yourselfs over time together which builds trust & being consistent with meeting in person face to face. You really can't just flat out ask people out like the way it used to be thats why you need to find a way to be around the same people by doing something consistently, preferably something you like. Familiarity helps with asking someone out.
You are amazing! And the advice you give is totally implementable, with real world examples.
Thank you!
She's a very smart woman for sure.
Love love love your practical advice, Vanessa. You bring such easy to put into practice tips into formerly social bogs.
Great advice.. Seems just sooo hard, soo much work
Me: Hey do you play pool or drink?
Them: No.
Me: Sounds boring, nice knowin' ya.
Erik Paul then shouldn’t you reply saying “let’s try it some time, I know this great place..”
Interestingly I have recently finally found somebody who seems to fit the bill perfectly! And I inadvertedly followed many of the tips presented.
The blush was def distracting, but useful tips. Glad to know it’s not just me that has a hard time finding friends. I like the visualizing what they will look like & also going/be at the places, doing the things you want to be doing with said friend, to look & find them. #mutualinterests
well this is really helpful for women :) thank you!
She has really good ideas ..:|
Wonderful views
These are really helpful and practical tips/strategies :) thank you !
Im having a hard time finding friends.
The people surrounding me enjoys drinking and smoking which I'm not into.
The ones I like have kids and they can't hang out with me since they're not available most of the time. But it's okay. I grown to entertain myself like watching videos like these.
Hello, i've been the same, i had work colleagues who mostly liked to drink on weekends. I've lost touch with them now. I dont smoke as i have mild Asthma. I've been feeling lonely for some time now, would you like to be friends? Im not on FB, or Whatsapp any of those social media. Only YT and i have Google Hangouts.
I can share a picture of myself if you're curious to see what i look like. :)
did you ever thought about to do a coaching in this case?
Thank you for your advices Vanoonoo after I think that I'm able to get friend as adult good
Good blue print, thanks Vanessa
Awesome, I can use this as a prospecting filter/tool in my business.
lol this guy only viewing it for his business and not his personal life
TheGreatslyfer Yes, people don't buy my biz they buy me. How else would I view it, other then in a way that will benefit me.
***** Thanks, I plan on making more videos on relationships & how some business concepts work really well for having a awesome long healthy marriage.
filter and tool are both great bands by the way. although, tool takes the cake ;)
Микола Маркевич I like tool but never heard filter before. I'll give them a listen
I love this! ❤I moved across the country recently and it has been so difficult to meet people!
In the entire video I was just thinking of the poor guy who thought the woman was into him but not knowing she was only seeking the friend zone.
It's so funny that I'm coming across this video on 2018! I'm not entirely sure but I feel like I lost my best friend as of today. Listening to everything you were saying I can recall all of those stages vividly and it was amazing until there were some mixed feelings that were expressed verbally. You can't take words back...or great memories! But lesson learned and now I have an idea of what I'm looking for in my next friendship.
Fantastic tips! Can't wait to implement them in my life.
I often worry that I'll end up like Paul Rudd in I Love You Man.
XD
I've actually accidentally made stage five clinger friends! abort mission!!
+dc r89 the worst!
Well, he made a friend.
So helpful!! Thank you so much!!
love your videos , you're so interesting the way you explain things
I need this vid!!! Thank u! I find this works. I was wondering just like dating do I dress to attract certain friends for example if I'm look thru a crowd for a friend isn't that based on appearance & I think that means ppl r doing the same to me? Should I dress the way I'd want my friend to look?
this was pretty good info. kids all have the same goal: play.
Love it! Thank you!
Very helpful, Wow can't get better answers and explation than this.
I am amazed that how is possible,she Smile always
I thought these were some really good suggestions!
Very helpful and an interesting approach!! Thanks Vanessa
Lots of love from india
Very interesting and rare topic... But how to deal if you are postponed oe even misunderstood în your efforts to just network or make new friends...?
Thanks for your question! You may find these articles give you some insight:
www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-make-friends/
www.scienceofpeople.com/communication-issues/
If you are still looking for an answer however, feel free to reach out to support@scienceofpeople.com :)
I like the blush, stop hating on such a beautiful soul.
people have commented that she got way too much blush ... but I was just listening so attentively that I didn’t even register all those things. Some people act like they themselves are perfect all the time..
That’s why they have no friends! Lol GOD bless!
Some great advice.
Great video, thanks!
Glad you liked it!
Does anyone actually reply to these comments? Lol
Question: I'm a young woman and as mentioned, I haven't experienced the joys of true friendship since a young child. I have ZERO female friends. Not bc I want it that way. But bc it is extremely difficult. Now, women either hate me off top OR want to have sex with me. I'm not being conceited, just realistic, but I'm an attractive woman. And it seems like there is no middle ground. The fact that she wants us to pursue friends as we would dating I feel would only exacerbate the issue I seem to face. How can I makes friends without sex or jealousy being a thing??? I am mature minded and not petty or jealous in anyway nor am I a lesbian lol... So I could definitely use some more advice. Thanks in advance whoever can help out🙂
When we are children our spirits are pure and we love and accept everyone because thats what we receive in return. Then we grow up and learn that there are many hurt people out there due to their experiences and it's harder to approach other adults who are no longer the sweet, loving innocent souls as children. Girls learn about jealousy and envy quick because of insecure grown females that model that behavior. Emotionally insecure people will parent their children to become similar when they grow up. Most often anyway. #HumanRace
Maybe find some classes you are interested in doing like cooking or exercise or whatever you are interested in where there are lots of other people who may be flying solo in that space, The treat new friends as dating thing would probably not work for a lot of people. no offence to the "expert.
I have found really great friends at Bible Study groups
I love this video I'm going to use this
Sending you some love! Great video/information... maybe in the future we'll have more decent apps for finding good friends, not just dating orientated stuff.
I want to support the channel by purchasing the book however I can't seem to find it on Amazon nor Barnes and noble. Is there a way for me to still purchase this book
She may never graduate cosmetic class, but her psychology is spot on. Besides, at least she wears it better than Tammy Fay Baker, or Mimi, from the Drew Carey Show!
Can you do more videos on this subject please
Extremely extremely helpful video 👍👍
That sounds helpful... let's try it out!
Love this. Thanks
she reminds me of Whitney Port (from the HIlls).
d doyle Yes! I was wonder who she reminded me of.
So interesting!!! Thanks a lot!!
Impressive
Gosh, I hope this works...
Michonne Did you try it?
I'd like to make friends, im 34 and i've been mostly socially isolated since college. I can go out in public but dont talk or mix with anyone. Im a normal guy and im creative (i like drawing and sci fi), it never used to bother me but lately i dont know what it is, i just dont want to be isolated from everyone for rest of my life, i know not everyone is cynical or narcissist.
did you ever thought about to do a coaching in this case?
Vanessa you are amazing!!
4:02 yeah, she said condom,....
Dimitri Dehouck 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I can’t believe they didn’t remove that part. No editing?!
Glad I found this comment man
Making friends in all levels it does nit life partner r friend when that gender is not there or some indifferent there to becoming friend then each time s it will be bring u closer to that person and gender in ideas relational relationship which are meant to be with
I need a friend who likes to go to the mall and sit in the food court and judge people
I want to be that one!
That's me 😜😜😜
!! That's funny!!
good stuff
Great tips!
I want a best friend but I love being with my husband more than anyone. I get annoyed by anyone else. Plus im to lazy to keep a friend, it takes to much energy to hang out or go somewhere. When I go out with my husband it's more natural and there's not too much effort on my part
Sounds to me like you have a best friend. Your husband. As it should be.
Vanessa..your features tells me about your inner peace.. greetings sweetheart
Wow. This is great
awesome!!!
love
Ok, so on the one hand, it is interesting (especially the "take it easy" advice), on the other hand the whole "help them with their goals" for me is too result driven. Friends are people I like to hand around for no particular reason, because we can laugh together and chat and have a good time not "useful" people to help me clean my garage or get back in shape.
Just like in love life, this approach is a little too much for me. Paople are not products. Neither am I. Also, some of my best friends (or some of my past boyfriends) don't necessarily share common interest with me, more an attitude toward life, they wouldn't click the "right" boxes in a survey, so the whole visualization thing, again is a little narrowing in my opinion. Life has more imagination than we do, so it is really important for me to remain open. Thanks anyways, interesting stuff
Souki Belghiti friends motivate each other too. Wouldn't you want support from your friends if you wanted to do something.
you just haven't had enough growth. when you realize most of the people around you don't care about your true happiness then you won't have Vampire groupies around - simple
I love you Vanessa
Wow
Cute #video! I tried flirting to make a friend once and got fired. What do you think I should do next? Love you.
That was good.
Love👍
I wouldn't compare making friends as a teen vs adult in a negative way about yourself. Kids & teens, which included us at one point, really have no standards on who they invite into their life and for the most part try to acquire as many "friends" as possible. Plus there are no responsibilities, families, etc. Naturally it will be more difficult making friends as an adult.
Nice
Why have you three comments?
“HOW MUCH YOU HAVE IN CONDOM” 😂😂😂😂
There is no exchange thing then u committed you it s just does
Love to travel
Too much blush
I agree this day she (or the makeup artist) went a little bit too blush heavy.
Lol for sure.. thick fuchsia stripes. Super distracting = )) Love you Vanessa! You're beautiful!
Why does her blush even matter to you?
its a prob with the video, look at the host, her hands are unusually red too
Maybe for the same reason that a random person's comment matters to you.
If you watched this, you probably have issues making friends.
I watched too.
🙏🙏🙏
Waaaay too much blush....
neetfif yes a little too much, she’s still beautiful ☺️
4:02
Great, now I have to flirt to meet friends. How do they know i am not trying to Bed Them.
Were they throwing shade at each other?
I'm only 16 but I always think... If all my friends were made in school.. what am I gonna do when I don't have school.
You don't make friends as adults, you make aquantenships at best
I just not because people aren't respectful and to many people have a snooty attitude. And so many are judgmental towrads people.
did the host just say "How much you have in condom..." in 4:02 or my mind is just too corrupted at this point lol
Kostadina Yanakieva 😂
I definitely heard it’ 😂 And then Vanessa said something about moving to the next base. 😂