The foster care story is HEARTBREAKING 💔 it is not a child’s job to fix the sins of their parents!!! It is absolutely 100% in no way the fault of the child. These parents are the biggest AHs in the world. Full stop. This OP happens to be over the age of 18, that’s the only reason this story even came about.. but being over 18 doesn’t mean OP is mentally, emotionally and financially capable of caring for 7 literal children. That’s way too much responsibility. How many stories have we heard about way older adults who CHOSE to have kids who struggle with the responsibility after having just one baby? And those are the parents. Parentification of your kids is so wrong and causes a lifetime of emotional trauma, and all of this OPs reasons for not taking it on was valid… but unfortunately OP will likely carry a lifetime of guilt for not taking them in as well. The other kids won’t realize they should be blaming their parents for quite a while, and will probably continue to guilt trip OP for years for this. I feel so bad for OP, but they made the right choice. I hope they get some counseling though, because that is so hard for so many reasons. I hope all of the other kids get good permanent homes and end up getting some good counseling too. Gah that sucks.
I honestly don't see how that would even be possible? Several kids on a single (most likely minimum wage) salary? I feel like the kids would unfortunately have it even worse in that climate if they can't afford enough food etc.
@@CerealSalad Thank you!! I saw another comment from the opposite perspective saying that they felt OP was ultimately not the asshole but that she had to understand that she was abandoning her siblings and that they would likely go no contact with her. And while that's possible, your story proves it's also possible to heal and understand that in situations like this, it's not as simple as the oldest sibling " abandoning" the younger siblings. Foster care has a reputation for sucking in America, but sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully they get lucky. But if your drowning and you have to choose between trying to save other eight drowning people and potentially failing and certainly saving one drowning person, it's okay to choose to save the one person. Sometimes it's honestly okay to save yourself if that's all you can do. And it sucks. And survivor's remorse is almost guaranteed. But that doesn't mean that anyone was abandoned. It means that everyone was put in an impossible situation and they were all failed by those more equipped to help.
And that'll be the last time they ever heard from me ever again. There is no way in the hell I can respect a man who can do that to the *_dying_* mother of his children. That man is a selfish bastard!
I agree. Especially because we don't know if the whole family even knows the full story. Maybe they only know they are dating now but not that he cheated on her and the new girlfirend betrayed her friend as well. I would make sure that everyone in that family knows that very well.
i was thinking itd be the only time i think you should wear a wedding dress to a wedding lmao. but another great choice to add onto your scenario is to say "and im sure this wont be the last wedding of my fathers, some things never change (aka once a cheater always a cheater)
Hell no. There is nothing complicated about Story 3. She is 100% not an asshole. No if ands or butts. It sucks. And it is probably going to suck for the siblings. Hopefully not but probably. She is BARELY an adult being asked to take care of 7 children. Sounds like some of the people attempting to guilt her are familial adults. They can take the kids. Notice how her full sibling is younger than her step and half siblings that were also in her mother's care. So unless there is an open marriage situation, the mom presumably cheated with her dad. Why did the dad sign over custody? Why can't any of these judgmental adults get their shit together and take care of the kids? OP is being asked to choose between an okay life for the minors and a likely bad life for her and a good or potentially great life for her and her 6yo sister. Would it be the sacrificial and saintly thing to do to stay in the state and take all seven kids? Sure, I guess. But she is not an asshole for not sacrificing herself. Especially since she is still responsible for one of the kids. It's unclear how much responsibility the grandmother is willing to take one, but considering she has legal custody, the safety and well-being of that child is still legally on her.
Thank you very much for putting that into words, I saw other people commenting and I was like: she’s barely an adult! She shouldn’t be expected to take care of them, why are the other adults not stepping up then??
As someone that has a unique name, I get wanting to warn your friend about their child potentially being bullied because of their name. I do think that’s a valid point of concern, but especially because of the specific names OP’s friend picked, I’d be more concerned about the difficulties their child would have one day as an adult in the workforce. You should be considering what it would be like for your child to have the name you’ve chosen for them once they are an adult and try to navigate the world as one, not just that it would be cute to have a 5 year old little boy named Daynger
Yeah, those are names you might give pets, but please not other human beings. I think this friend might not actually see the baby as its own human being but more of an extension of themselves (which is a common theme among parents unfortunately)
That 18 yr kid is NTA. It's completely insane to ask an 18 yr old to take on that responsibility. In regar😢ds to the state's role because they are not her blood siblings and they have a different mother there are other legal issues at play. Like their mom may still hold residual rights. Unless your rights are terminated you still have rights even if you don't have custody. But again that's crazy talk and because she had an opportunity to change her life she needed to take that.
As a kid, my dad would straight-up bring women home he was cheating on his then-girlfriend with. I was only five or six so I didn’t fully understand, but my dad being the dipshit he is brought his side pieces home to his kids. The look on their faces when I would ask, “Where’s Shannon?” and the realization that they were side pieces is something I’ll never forget though. I see him every so often, but once I came to the realization of how he treats his relationships (I busted him cheating on my now-step mom), it’s hard for me to engage with him or even respect him as the man who raised me. If I was in Story 2 OP’s shoes, I sure as FUCK would not attend either. He’s probably gonna cheat on the new wife anyway.
Story 3 that 19 yr old is still a kid... she shouldn't be held responsible for 7 kids thats situation is so sad and hard. I hope they are sent to a good home.
Danger Tang is the name of one of my D&D characters. That's where you use weird names. Or for pets, they don't care- just keep in mind if they run off you may find yourself shouting said name in public. I remember a story of a person who took their dog, River.... to the river. So they were going around shouting "River!" ...at the river, trying to find their dog. 😅🤷♀️
The story about the girl in the bikini had an update. She wrote him a note telling him she was sorry for intruding and she hoped he spoke when they saw each other. They did talk and said they were going to hang out again.
Great episode shoyne! At least the kid can say: "do you like danger? Cause danger is my middle name baby!" 😅 That poor OP in the second story, not the ah at all! I hope they are miserable for the rest of their lives and the aunt should not be telling her to mend the so called relationship because he was dead the minute he cheated on her dead mother and then him having the aunt ask her screw that bs! Shes not in the wrong at all id light that invitation on fire and send them all a video of it, change my number and tell them all their dead to me. As the saying goes, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" hence where the saying "blood is thicker than water" i hope she has someone from her moms side of the family or at least a goo circle of friends to support her i sure hope she can finally have some peace, support and love moving forward away from the toxic people in her life much love and positve thoughts sent her way! ❤
Our son didn't have a name for two days in the hospital because my husband refused to budge on naming him Goku... Eventually after 9 months and two days, he compromised to have that be his middle name
For story 4 she asks to borrow clothes because she feels uncomfortable being so exposed to a guy she doesn’t really know and he says that he’s uncomfortable sharing his clothes. Like um… what?
I don't think *Story One's* friend would make as good a parent as OP seems to think. Being a parent starts with too much empathy to give stupid names. My parents named me my language's variation of danger (pain and suffering) because I was a difficult pregnancy and birth and I got bullied too; my younger siblings absolutely refused to use my first name starting from when they started talking and my parents would get berated so frequently in places they gave my name out they stopped using it in official documents and when I got my ID/Passports at 18/12 the state office actually wouldn't give me my dad's family name because they couldn't entrust me to such an awful family. My parents are very apologetic for that name and none of my siblings, cousins, nieces/nephews and aunts/uncles use the name.
I actually found this podcast because of your Reddit, it kept getting recommended to me! So eventually I caved and started watching it, and consider me hooked! Love waiting for your new episode each week :)
5:01 i remember this story on smosh and arasha and the cast agreed that they were the asshole 😂 because "you cant tell a parent what to do" and were surprised that reddit declared them not the asshole which is so stupid??!!
Story 3 NTA and the only way the siblings will grow up blaming her as adults is if they turn into shitty adults 💯 Story 4 AH all the way learn some damn empathy
Story 1: NTA, A kid's name is an important part of their identity and I feel like a lot of parents think about what they like and don't really put themselves in the shoes of the kid in the future. Ofcourse it depends on how you say it, but I think it's ok to have a conversation and make them aware that maybe those names aren't the best choices. And that's exactly what OP did, they talked, found some compromises. Story 2: NTA, that family is so shit, I think you guys said it all, if it had happened after the mom passed, it probably wouldn't have been as much of a sore point, but this is obviously a very painful memory/situation for OP. Also it's an invitation, not an obligation. If someone says no and gives clear reasons as to why and it's not something you can fix (because you can't turn back time), move on and leave them in peace. Story 3: NTA, it's really tough to be put in this position by your parents. You're trying your best, but expecting a teenager to suddenly be responsible and care for this many kids is too much. Story 4: I'm kinda in between A and NTA.. I may be getting some hate for this, but I don't necesarily think the guy was an A for not offering the hoodie/sweats. The A-part is like you mentioned the way he wrote she was showing "way too much"' skin, like yes, there's definitely some sltshaming thoughts there and that's problematic. However I do have some thoughts on the rest of the story: - I have absolutely no problem with girls wanting to show lots of skin in certain parties/events etc. (I mean, I dressed very skimpily in college as well at times). However she mentioned she is the designated driver. In my mind if you know you're gonna be in a situation where you don't have a lot of clothes on, but will be responsible for your friends getting home safely (and thus maybe having to stay up/out late) and you have a car with you, you can just pack a bag of some clothes to change into. Maybe I am just someone with too much of a "be prepared for X, Y,Z sitation" brain, but you're still responsible for yourself if you decide to dress a certain way. Would OP have been a nice guy if he offered, ofcourse! but he's not responsible for this girl, he's just doing his thing (and just because he is playing games late at night I wouldn't say that he's an incel...Some ppl just aren't interested in partying etc.). - Not letting her sleep in his bed I think is fine. I am someone who is very sensitive to people being in my bed. Like for me my bed has always been a safe space (even in my dorm in college), like even someone I am close to sitting on my bed feels very iffy for me, so I wouldn't want a somewhat stranger (just because you see each other on campus doesn't mean you know them) to sleep in my bed. + I think the whole idea of letting guests sleep in your bed, especially if the idea is that its because you're a "man" and she's a "girl" and you need to be a "gentleman" is kinda shitty. Again, if he had offered it himself, that's fine, but she's an unplanned guest, and for those few hours (I mean idk how long the roommate and his gf are gonna go at it..) she would be fine on the couch imo.. So would I say he definitely has some A-vibes with the way he phrases things etc, yes, but idk if his actions necesarily scream A to me. I also agree with Josh that the way his sister said she could've been a good "testrun" made my skin crawl. Like.. let's not teach guys that they should treat every woman as if they are a potential partner.. Too many dudes think that way and bother women because of it... Now, I'm ok with the things you guys said as well, I'm not necesarily disagreeing with the explanations you gave, these are just some thoughts I had when listening. Anyway, love the podcast, hope you guys have a wonderful holiday-period and can't wait for more AITA stories in 2024!
Story 4 I don't think he's the asshole because he doesn't *have* to give her his clothes because she chose to dress a certain way also if its gonna be cold carry a freaking jacket don't rely on others to be kind. Yeah it wouldve been kind of him to do that but its not a compulsion just go and ask the guy she came with for clothes like the entitlement of that girl to wear short clothes in cold weather and complain that she is cold now.
I’m finally caught up on every episode and I’m HURT that I’m a poor and have to wait for the weekly uploads with the other peasants 😭 all love 💕 P.S. pls pls pls do an all the women of ROW episode on April Fools or something. Respectfully (I may be biased) Sienna, Nancy, and Juliet are my favorites lol
To anyone who pesters OP about going to dad's wedding, reply back "I do not support him marrying the person her had an affair with for years while my mother was dying from cancer so I will not be at their wedding" like air that dirty laundry.
Story 4: I think it’s fair she asked for clothes, but it’s also fair that OP wouldn’t want to share his clothes with a stranger 🤷♀️ The way he types about her is rude, but that’s the only thing I really fault him on. In general it’s a good rule of thumb to not share clothes with strangers, no offense to the girl, as you don’t know what state the clothes will come back in. If I don’t know you and I don’t know your habits, then I won’t share any clothes or any of my good blankets with you. I’m personally very iffy about stuff like this for several reasons but one of the biggest ones is when I let someone borrow my jacket it came back absolutely reeking & with fleas. Never again.
Story 2: the title alone already screams NTA! Why would I want to watch you get married to the person with whom you cheated on my mother? That's insane! ETA: I haven't even gotten that far into the story, and Dad is very boldly and loudly proclaiming how much of a piece of shit he actually is! I do not care for this man at all! I don't think I need to hear the rest of this story. NTA.
@@esmooth919 a Comedian in Mexico that worked alongside her best friend Karla Luna, who had cancer, and Luna's husband was cheating on her with that so called best friend (Karla Panini) while Luna was fighting cancer. She even got the nerve to tell Luna's husband to treat her bad because she couldn't stand watching them being ok, all while she was still fighting cancer and her children were already dealinwith their mom's diagnosis. The affair went public, Luna divorced him and Panini and the ex-husband got married. Luna died a year after that I think, I'm not sure of the timing. Nobody in Mexico likes them, her "comedian" career is over and when someone is doing something horrible, the Panini incident is always recalled.
I haven't listened to the full story but has it ever occurred to her that her mother and father made a deal. My mother was dying from cancer and she set my dad up on dates and gave him permission to move on while she was dying.
The thing is, if that were the case, then it would be on the father to explain that, preferably before bringing the AP into the picture officially, certainly before pleading his case to other family members and for sure before letting years of estrangement go by. OP can only operate on the info they have available and it sounds like Dad dropped the ball on that hard.
Lol, I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 41 - indeed it does happen 😅 I consider our relationship healthy and happy. Neither of us were worried about introducing the other to our parents though 😊 I know it breaks your rule cause we recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary, but hey, every rule has exceptions I guess 🤷♀️ love the podcast despite the rigidity regarding age differences 😂❤ (I do understand the general concern cause there are some real creeps out there) Anyway, you guys are great, thanks a ton for the awesome content! ✨️
This may end up being an unpopular opinion on story number five however, I feel like OP is not an asshole. He’s not obligated to give his clothing and his bed to a woman, that she even said herself, does not know well. The only people who owed the girls something was her friend Sydney, and the roommate. His sister Logic was off, saying he should’ve been nice because he could’ve got something in return.
I fully agree but I do think that he could've done more to be an empathetic person by trying to find a better blanket. Or if that's really the only blanket they have to spare, as his sister and comments point out, he had other options to show a bit of empathy to her even if it's not technically his "responsibility". And to clarify I think that last part about doing something nice was just an attempt at explaining empathy and being nice to someone who is likely neurodivergent in some way. I don't think they were trying to say bring nice is always reciprocal. It seemed to just be a somewhat sloppy explanation of "treat others how you want to be treated" or the idea that if everyone chooses to be nice and put positivity out in the world as much as possible, we'll likely be on the receiving end too. Not in an intentionally transactional way, just a somewhat blunt and simplified explanation of how society works.
Nah, basic empathy. This was a shitty thing to do. I don't owe a starving person bread, but if I have it, I'm going to give them bread. He was sexist and gross.
I agree because I feel like he doesn’t pick up on social cues and only reflects on what people around him say, like why he focused so much on the word ‘slutty’. He never really changes the descriptor, which to me says he has only heard it described as such, doesn’t inherently view it as sexy, and can only comment on its practicality when he says there is barely any clothes. He should still apologize to her and let her know that he doesn’t really understand the situation she was in and how putting himself in a little discomfort would have helped her a lot more than it inconvenienced him.
@@k.c.8662she knew she was wearing "slutty" clothes, girls call them that themselves, the least she could've done is carried a jacket or something with her if she's so uncomfortable and cold.
"Me and my sister..." bro. You're the sister of *all* of them. You're only 19 and that shouldn't be your burden, but you should understand that those siblings will probably never forgive you. When our oldest sister turned 18 she left immediately and never did shit to help us even though she knew we were being abused. While I as an adult understand why and don't blame her, any love I felt for her has turned into apathy and obligation. And I'm the only kid that doesn't resent her as an adult. NTA. Just remember that, though. They ARE being abandoned, and you will always be a source of that pain for them, even if it isn't fair.
Definitely. The only silver lining here is how close to 18 the second child is and, if I'm not wrong, kids that get out of foster care in the US get cheap or free university education and if they take in their younger siblings they'd be paid their upkeep money. I know a guy who was the second youngest of eleven when his parents died, the oldest two siblings were both over 18 and dipped. The next turned 18 within months and she raised the rest of them all on her own getting help from each child that turned 18 as they aged in. Him and his nine other siblings are close knit with the two always whining over how they are excluded from everything but they don't care, especially him and their youngest who didn't even know they had two other siblings till they started getting pestered by two random adults with families over not being loved. The nine are doing great, he's a close friend's husband, and support each other in everything and the two not so much.
OP is still practically a child too. The other kids won’t understand for years and won’t place the blame where it belongs for years or maybe ever, but the parents are to blame. Many much older adults can’t handle raising that many kids… it is absolutely understandable not to take on that many kids as a kid herself.
Story 3: The siblings going into foster care will ALWAYS view their sister as the Ahole. Their lives are ruined. This is a hard decision and either choice comes with bad repercussions.
Story 3: OP isn’t the asshole OBJECTIVELY to the outside world, but to those kids she absolutely IS the asshole. They are her siblings and they have every right to be pissed off at her. She needs to understand that. She destroyed her relationship with her siblings and they are not entitled to love her anymore. She has opted out of their lives permanently. The little remorse she has and the way she separates them from her and acts like only the 6 yr old is her "real sibling" is still gross. She chose herself, and that's fine, but they do come with consequences, and she should show more sorrow in the matter than she is because she has decided to let her siblings go into abusive homes and destroyed their lives to save her own.
Remind me what she's supposed to do with the kids? Become their mom do all the household work and then go and get a job spend it on 7 kids? How is that even possible for an individual, a 19 year old at that she's a kid herself. She had a better opportunity and she took it. Also she didn't decide to let the kids go in abusive homes her parents did when committed crimes and had so many babies.
The foster care story is HEARTBREAKING 💔 it is not a child’s job to fix the sins of their parents!!! It is absolutely 100% in no way the fault of the child. These parents are the biggest AHs in the world. Full stop. This OP happens to be over the age of 18, that’s the only reason this story even came about.. but being over 18 doesn’t mean OP is mentally, emotionally and financially capable of caring for 7 literal children. That’s way too much responsibility. How many stories have we heard about way older adults who CHOSE to have kids who struggle with the responsibility after having just one baby? And those are the parents. Parentification of your kids is so wrong and causes a lifetime of emotional trauma, and all of this OPs reasons for not taking it on was valid… but unfortunately OP will likely carry a lifetime of guilt for not taking them in as well. The other kids won’t realize they should be blaming their parents for quite a while, and will probably continue to guilt trip OP for years for this. I feel so bad for OP, but they made the right choice. I hope they get some counseling though, because that is so hard for so many reasons. I hope all of the other kids get good permanent homes and end up getting some good counseling too. Gah that sucks.
I agree with you 💯
I don’t think the 19 is the asshole AT ALL. Imagine having to pay for them and keep alive at 19!?
I honestly don't see how that would even be possible? Several kids on a single (most likely minimum wage) salary? I feel like the kids would unfortunately have it even worse in that climate if they can't afford enough food etc.
@@CerealSalad Thank you!! I saw another comment from the opposite perspective saying that they felt OP was ultimately not the asshole but that she had to understand that she was abandoning her siblings and that they would likely go no contact with her. And while that's possible, your story proves it's also possible to heal and understand that in situations like this, it's not as simple as the oldest sibling " abandoning" the younger siblings. Foster care has a reputation for sucking in America, but sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully they get lucky. But if your drowning and you have to choose between trying to save other eight drowning people and potentially failing and certainly saving one drowning person, it's okay to choose to save the one person. Sometimes it's honestly okay to save yourself if that's all you can do. And it sucks. And survivor's remorse is almost guaranteed. But that doesn't mean that anyone was abandoned. It means that everyone was put in an impossible situation and they were all failed by those more equipped to help.
Exactly getting an education gives her a chance to make something of herself and maybe in a better position to help them later on.
"Mature for their age" is code for "I'm immature for my age."
Loved Sean in this episode. Probably his best. 😂
SEAN CENA: you can't see me ✋
Who is Shawn?
Story 2: I’d be the arsehole and be petty. Go to the wedding, make a speech, make a presentation and expose the cheating couple.
And that'll be the last time they ever heard from me ever again. There is no way in the hell I can respect a man who can do that to the *_dying_* mother of his children. That man is a selfish bastard!
I agree. Especially because we don't know if the whole family even knows the full story. Maybe they only know they are dating now but not that he cheated on her and the new girlfirend betrayed her friend as well. I would make sure that everyone in that family knows that very well.
@@esmooth919thats not a man, thats a bicth
i was thinking itd be the only time i think you should wear a wedding dress to a wedding lmao. but another great choice to add onto your scenario is to say "and im sure this wont be the last wedding of my fathers, some things never change (aka once a cheater always a cheater)
Hell no. There is nothing complicated about Story 3. She is 100% not an asshole. No if ands or butts. It sucks. And it is probably going to suck for the siblings. Hopefully not but probably. She is BARELY an adult being asked to take care of 7 children. Sounds like some of the people attempting to guilt her are familial adults. They can take the kids. Notice how her full sibling is younger than her step and half siblings that were also in her mother's care. So unless there is an open marriage situation, the mom presumably cheated with her dad. Why did the dad sign over custody? Why can't any of these judgmental adults get their shit together and take care of the kids? OP is being asked to choose between an okay life for the minors and a likely bad life for her and a good or potentially great life for her and her 6yo sister. Would it be the sacrificial and saintly thing to do to stay in the state and take all seven kids? Sure, I guess. But she is not an asshole for not sacrificing herself. Especially since she is still responsible for one of the kids. It's unclear how much responsibility the grandmother is willing to take one, but considering she has legal custody, the safety and well-being of that child is still legally on her.
Thank you very much for putting that into words, I saw other people commenting and I was like: she’s barely an adult! She shouldn’t be expected to take care of them, why are the other adults not stepping up then??
Kid: idk man that sounds risky
Kid 2: RISKY?😂 Ha Danger is my middle name
Daynger: my time has come
As someone that has a unique name, I get wanting to warn your friend about their child potentially being bullied because of their name. I do think that’s a valid point of concern, but especially because of the specific names OP’s friend picked, I’d be more concerned about the difficulties their child would have one day as an adult in the workforce. You should be considering what it would be like for your child to have the name you’ve chosen for them once they are an adult and try to navigate the world as one, not just that it would be cute to have a 5 year old little boy named Daynger
Yeah, those are names you might give pets, but please not other human beings. I think this friend might not actually see the baby as its own human being but more of an extension of themselves (which is a common theme among parents unfortunately)
Yeah! Like remember you are naming someone who will become an adult.
That 18 yr kid is NTA. It's completely insane to ask an 18 yr old to take on that responsibility. In regar😢ds to the state's role because they are not her blood siblings and they have a different mother there are other legal issues at play. Like their mom may still hold residual rights. Unless your rights are terminated you still have rights even if you don't have custody. But again that's crazy talk and because she had an opportunity to change her life she needed to take that.
As a kid, my dad would straight-up bring women home he was cheating on his then-girlfriend with. I was only five or six so I didn’t fully understand, but my dad being the dipshit he is brought his side pieces home to his kids. The look on their faces when I would ask, “Where’s Shannon?” and the realization that they were side pieces is something I’ll never forget though.
I see him every so often, but once I came to the realization of how he treats his relationships (I busted him cheating on my now-step mom), it’s hard for me to engage with him or even respect him as the man who raised me. If I was in Story 2 OP’s shoes, I sure as FUCK would not attend either. He’s probably gonna cheat on the new wife anyway.
Story 3 that 19 yr old is still a kid... she shouldn't be held responsible for 7 kids thats situation is so sad and hard. I hope they are sent to a good home.
Story 1: NTA by a long shot! Anybody that doesn't give you this kind of warning ahead of time is a bad friend.
Danger Tang is the name of one of my D&D characters. That's where you use weird names. Or for pets, they don't care- just keep in mind if they run off you may find yourself shouting said name in public. I remember a story of a person who took their dog, River.... to the river. So they were going around shouting "River!" ...at the river, trying to find their dog. 😅🤷♀️
The story about the girl in the bikini had an update. She wrote him a note telling him she was sorry for intruding and she hoped he spoke when they saw each other. They did talk and said they were going to hang out again.
Great episode shoyne! At least the kid can say: "do you like danger? Cause danger is my middle name baby!" 😅
That poor OP in the second story, not the ah at all! I hope they are miserable for the rest of their lives and the aunt should not be telling her to mend the so called relationship because he was dead the minute he cheated on her dead mother and then him having the aunt ask her screw that bs! Shes not in the wrong at all id light that invitation on fire and send them all a video of it, change my number and tell them all their dead to me. As the saying goes, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" hence where the saying "blood is thicker than water" i hope she has someone from her moms side of the family or at least a goo circle of friends to support her i sure hope she can finally have some peace, support and love moving forward away from the toxic people in her life much love and positve thoughts sent her way! ❤
Our son didn't have a name for two days in the hospital because my husband refused to budge on naming him Goku... Eventually after 9 months and two days, he compromised to have that be his middle name
To clarify- the 9 months portion of the battle for naming refers to the pregnancy. Our son had a nice name by the time we left the hospital lol
lol I know someone that named their kid Kakarot.
@@angeliakleeSo they basically named their son carrot.
@@esmooth919 hahaha actually that’s his nickname
Omg 😭 I love Dragon Ball, was raised on it, but that’s insane! I’m glad yall came to a compromise ❤
Ok Jine with the vocals at 6:36, I see you
For story 4 she asks to borrow clothes because she feels uncomfortable being so exposed to a guy she doesn’t really know and he says that he’s uncomfortable sharing his clothes. Like um… what?
That was definitely Sean’s best episode!
I don't think *Story One's* friend would make as good a parent as OP seems to think. Being a parent starts with too much empathy to give stupid names. My parents named me my language's variation of danger (pain and suffering) because I was a difficult pregnancy and birth and I got bullied too; my younger siblings absolutely refused to use my first name starting from when they started talking and my parents would get berated so frequently in places they gave my name out they stopped using it in official documents and when I got my ID/Passports at 18/12 the state office actually wouldn't give me my dad's family name because they couldn't entrust me to such an awful family. My parents are very apologetic for that name and none of my siblings, cousins, nieces/nephews and aunts/uncles use the name.
I actually found this podcast because of your Reddit, it kept getting recommended to me! So eventually I caved and started watching it, and consider me hooked! Love waiting for your new episode each week :)
At my age, I have realized that I have finite time and energy. And I have all people and things with that knowledge
5:01 i remember this story on smosh and arasha and the cast agreed that they were the asshole 😂 because "you cant tell a parent what to do" and were surprised that reddit declared them not the asshole which is so stupid??!!
Story 3 NTA and the only way the siblings will grow up blaming her as adults is if they turn into shitty adults 💯
Story 4 AH all the way learn some damn empathy
Story 1: NTA, A kid's name is an important part of their identity and I feel like a lot of parents think about what they like and don't really put themselves in the shoes of the kid in the future. Ofcourse it depends on how you say it, but I think it's ok to have a conversation and make them aware that maybe those names aren't the best choices. And that's exactly what OP did, they talked, found some compromises.
Story 2: NTA, that family is so shit, I think you guys said it all, if it had happened after the mom passed, it probably wouldn't have been as much of a sore point, but this is obviously a very painful memory/situation for OP. Also it's an invitation, not an obligation. If someone says no and gives clear reasons as to why and it's not something you can fix (because you can't turn back time), move on and leave them in peace.
Story 3: NTA, it's really tough to be put in this position by your parents. You're trying your best, but expecting a teenager to suddenly be responsible and care for this many kids is too much.
Story 4: I'm kinda in between A and NTA.. I may be getting some hate for this, but I don't necesarily think the guy was an A for not offering the hoodie/sweats. The A-part is like you mentioned the way he wrote she was showing "way too much"' skin, like yes, there's definitely some sltshaming thoughts there and that's problematic. However I do have some thoughts on the rest of the story:
- I have absolutely no problem with girls wanting to show lots of skin in certain parties/events etc. (I mean, I dressed very skimpily in college as well at times). However she mentioned she is the designated driver. In my mind if you know you're gonna be in a situation where you don't have a lot of clothes on, but will be responsible for your friends getting home safely (and thus maybe having to stay up/out late) and you have a car with you, you can just pack a bag of some clothes to change into. Maybe I am just someone with too much of a "be prepared for X, Y,Z sitation" brain, but you're still responsible for yourself if you decide to dress a certain way. Would OP have been a nice guy if he offered, ofcourse! but he's not responsible for this girl, he's just doing his thing (and just because he is playing games late at night I wouldn't say that he's an incel...Some ppl just aren't interested in partying etc.).
- Not letting her sleep in his bed I think is fine. I am someone who is very sensitive to people being in my bed. Like for me my bed has always been a safe space (even in my dorm in college), like even someone I am close to sitting on my bed feels very iffy for me, so I wouldn't want a somewhat stranger (just because you see each other on campus doesn't mean you know them) to sleep in my bed. + I think the whole idea of letting guests sleep in your bed, especially if the idea is that its because you're a "man" and she's a "girl" and you need to be a "gentleman" is kinda shitty. Again, if he had offered it himself, that's fine, but she's an unplanned guest, and for those few hours (I mean idk how long the roommate and his gf are gonna go at it..) she would be fine on the couch imo..
So would I say he definitely has some A-vibes with the way he phrases things etc, yes, but idk if his actions necesarily scream A to me.
I also agree with Josh that the way his sister said she could've been a good "testrun" made my skin crawl. Like.. let's not teach guys that they should treat every woman as if they are a potential partner.. Too many dudes think that way and bother women because of it...
Now, I'm ok with the things you guys said as well, I'm not necesarily disagreeing with the explanations you gave, these are just some thoughts I had when listening.
Anyway, love the podcast, hope you guys have a wonderful holiday-period and can't wait for more AITA stories in 2024!
Story 4 I don't think he's the asshole because he doesn't *have* to give her his clothes because she chose to dress a certain way also if its gonna be cold carry a freaking jacket don't rely on others to be kind. Yeah it wouldve been kind of him to do that but its not a compulsion just go and ask the guy she came with for clothes like the entitlement of that girl to wear short clothes in cold weather and complain that she is cold now.
LOVE Josh's hoodie!
Your intro song always makes me dance. And I do not dance lol.
13:50 Karla Panini!?!?!
I’m finally caught up on every episode and I’m HURT that I’m a poor and have to wait for the weekly uploads with the other peasants 😭 all love 💕
P.S. pls pls pls do an all the women of ROW episode on April Fools or something. Respectfully (I may be biased) Sienna, Nancy, and Juliet are my favorites lol
The first story remind me of how the late president of my country called ex president Bush mister daaanger😂😂😂
Children shouldn't be stressed about having to raise their siblings
Story 2: a similar story happened in México. Karla Panini is most hated woman in 🇲🇽
Josh’s hoodie 🥺🥺🥺
There's update for the 2nd story.
Love the ai story idea! Kinda like 2 truths and a lie
who is this "shaun" person they keep mentioning? i have no idea
To anyone who pesters OP about going to dad's wedding, reply back "I do not support him marrying the person her had an affair with for years while my mother was dying from cancer so I will not be at their wedding" like air that dirty laundry.
Story 4: I think it’s fair she asked for clothes, but it’s also fair that OP wouldn’t want to share his clothes with a stranger 🤷♀️ The way he types about her is rude, but that’s the only thing I really fault him on. In general it’s a good rule of thumb to not share clothes with strangers, no offense to the girl, as you don’t know what state the clothes will come back in. If I don’t know you and I don’t know your habits, then I won’t share any clothes or any of my good blankets with you. I’m personally very iffy about stuff like this for several reasons but one of the biggest ones is when I let someone borrow my jacket it came back absolutely reeking & with fleas. Never again.
Story 2: the title alone already screams NTA! Why would I want to watch you get married to the person with whom you cheated on my mother? That's insane!
ETA: I haven't even gotten that far into the story, and Dad is very boldly and loudly proclaiming how much of a piece of shit he actually is! I do not care for this man at all! I don't think I need to hear the rest of this story. NTA.
13:30 ...and the hits just keep on coming.
Is anyone else not getting notifications when they upload a new vid?
I don’t understand why people don’t like the intro. I love it ❤just do it
Same!! My twelve year old hears it and screams “just do it mom” haha 😂
I got the ai story right!! :))
Story 2 gives me Karla Panini vibes :/
This is the second common I've read that mentions her in comparison to this story. Who is she?
@@esmooth919 a Comedian in Mexico that worked alongside her best friend Karla Luna, who had cancer, and Luna's husband was cheating on her with that so called best friend (Karla Panini) while Luna was fighting cancer. She even got the nerve to tell Luna's husband to treat her bad because she couldn't stand watching them being ok, all while she was still fighting cancer and her children were already dealinwith their mom's diagnosis. The affair went public, Luna divorced him and Panini and the ex-husband got married. Luna died a year after that I think, I'm not sure of the timing. Nobody in Mexico likes them, her "comedian" career is over and when someone is doing something horrible, the Panini incident is always recalled.
I haven't listened to the full story but has it ever occurred to her that her mother and father made a deal. My mother was dying from cancer and she set my dad up on dates and gave him permission to move on while she was dying.
The thing is, if that were the case, then it would be on the father to explain that, preferably before bringing the AP into the picture officially, certainly before pleading his case to other family members and for sure before letting years of estrangement go by. OP can only operate on the info they have available and it sounds like Dad dropped the ball on that hard.
Giving the way this story goes, I honestly do not think that that's the case. I think it's clear that Daddy stepped out on his dying wife.
Lol, I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 41 - indeed it does happen 😅 I consider our relationship healthy and happy. Neither of us were worried about introducing the other to our parents though 😊 I know it breaks your rule cause we recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary, but hey, every rule has exceptions I guess 🤷♀️ love the podcast despite the rigidity regarding age differences 😂❤ (I do understand the general concern cause there are some real creeps out there) Anyway, you guys are great, thanks a ton for the awesome content! ✨️
This may end up being an unpopular opinion on story number five however, I feel like OP is not an asshole. He’s not obligated to give his clothing and his bed to a woman, that she even said herself, does not know well. The only people who owed the girls something was her friend Sydney, and the roommate. His sister Logic was off, saying he should’ve been nice because he could’ve got something in return.
I fully agree but I do think that he could've done more to be an empathetic person by trying to find a better blanket. Or if that's really the only blanket they have to spare, as his sister and comments point out, he had other options to show a bit of empathy to her even if it's not technically his "responsibility".
And to clarify I think that last part about doing something nice was just an attempt at explaining empathy and being nice to someone who is likely neurodivergent in some way. I don't think they were trying to say bring nice is always reciprocal. It seemed to just be a somewhat sloppy explanation of "treat others how you want to be treated" or the idea that if everyone chooses to be nice and put positivity out in the world as much as possible, we'll likely be on the receiving end too. Not in an intentionally transactional way, just a somewhat blunt and simplified explanation of how society works.
Nah, basic empathy. This was a shitty thing to do. I don't owe a starving person bread, but if I have it, I'm going to give them bread. He was sexist and gross.
I agree because I feel like he doesn’t pick up on social cues and only reflects on what people around him say, like why he focused so much on the word ‘slutty’. He never really changes the descriptor, which to me says he has only heard it described as such, doesn’t inherently view it as sexy, and can only comment on its practicality when he says there is barely any clothes. He should still apologize to her and let her know that he doesn’t really understand the situation she was in and how putting himself in a little discomfort would have helped her a lot more than it inconvenienced him.
@@k.c.8662she knew she was wearing "slutty" clothes, girls call them that themselves, the least she could've done is carried a jacket or something with her if she's so uncomfortable and cold.
"Me and my sister..." bro. You're the sister of *all* of them. You're only 19 and that shouldn't be your burden, but you should understand that those siblings will probably never forgive you. When our oldest sister turned 18 she left immediately and never did shit to help us even though she knew we were being abused. While I as an adult understand why and don't blame her, any love I felt for her has turned into apathy and obligation. And I'm the only kid that doesn't resent her as an adult.
NTA. Just remember that, though. They ARE being abandoned, and you will always be a source of that pain for them, even if it isn't fair.
Definitely. The only silver lining here is how close to 18 the second child is and, if I'm not wrong, kids that get out of foster care in the US get cheap or free university education and if they take in their younger siblings they'd be paid their upkeep money.
I know a guy who was the second youngest of eleven when his parents died, the oldest two siblings were both over 18 and dipped. The next turned 18 within months and she raised the rest of them all on her own getting help from each child that turned 18 as they aged in. Him and his nine other siblings are close knit with the two always whining over how they are excluded from everything but they don't care, especially him and their youngest who didn't even know they had two other siblings till they started getting pestered by two random adults with families over not being loved. The nine are doing great, he's a close friend's husband, and support each other in everything and the two not so much.
OP is still practically a child too. The other kids won’t understand for years and won’t place the blame where it belongs for years or maybe ever, but the parents are to blame. Many much older adults can’t handle raising that many kids… it is absolutely understandable not to take on that many kids as a kid herself.
Story 3: The siblings going into foster care will ALWAYS view their sister as the Ahole. Their lives are ruined. This is a hard decision and either choice comes with bad repercussions.
Story 3: OP isn’t the asshole OBJECTIVELY to the outside world, but to those kids she absolutely IS the asshole. They are her siblings and they have every right to be pissed off at her. She needs to understand that. She destroyed her relationship with her siblings and they are not entitled to love her anymore. She has opted out of their lives permanently. The little remorse she has and the way she separates them from her and acts like only the 6 yr old is her "real sibling" is still gross. She chose herself, and that's fine, but they do come with consequences, and she should show more sorrow in the matter than she is because she has decided to let her siblings go into abusive homes and destroyed their lives to save her own.
Remind me what she's supposed to do with the kids? Become their mom do all the household work and then go and get a job spend it on 7 kids? How is that even possible for an individual, a 19 year old at that she's a kid herself. She had a better opportunity and she took it. Also she didn't decide to let the kids go in abusive homes her parents did when committed crimes and had so many babies.