When they said that, I almost cried. I'm not a mom but I felt that. No one really does know what to do when mom cries. Also sorry I'm just getting here after 3 years. Oops. Late to the party.
We have a therapist for the adults and one for the kids. That helps us maintain separate spaces and let’s the adults be vulnerable in therapy. We meet with the adult therapist less frequently.
Thank you for this video. Often times I find myself wanting answers about my system right away but simply exploring what I do know and what I can know should be sufficient enough. I have made big assumptions about some alters in my system and their knowledge but I need to work on that.
Thank you so much for this, I've been experiencing so much confusion lately which sometimes leads me to think I am faking and adds to denial. This really clears up a lot as I felt like it wasn't okay to not know certain things (but weirdly "knowing too much" because my inner world was never hidden I just dismissed it as daydreaming 😯). Honestly I can't even get a clear count on all the alters and still sometimes write it off as "all in my head".
I am glad that you have been figuring out how to have your own needs better met! We badly want actual clear/vivid ability to sense things internally, but it's nice to hear this sort of reaffirmation that it's not unusual to have blind spots and not know things.
I have learned things then forgotten for years and had to re-remember following trails of clues. This makes me feel so much better about the question marks about myself. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
thanks for the video. i am starting to suspect that many of our others, especially the humans, don't necessarily know even half of what they should have access to about how our system works. and i need to stop pressuring myself to learn everything there is to possibly know as quickly as possible about our system map without thinking im a total failure if i don't. its a long and arduous fckin journey
this whole video just brings back memories of what was expected of me in our childhood within our family. thank you so much for opening up about this, it means a lot
I'll usually treat others as I usually do in the external world when they are upset and I'll ask what's wrong (usually) and if they dont want to talk about it I'll just sit near them or make sure someone else they trust more is with them. If how they are feeling is causing conflict I'll ask them what's up and if they dont want to talk about it I'll just tell them how they cant let it cause conflict between others (and in both cases) I'll let them know I'm open to hearing what's up if they wanna talk about it
It makes sense that systems who do know they're a system would be outliers. Somebody said, I forget who, it might have been Aether, "you don't know until you do" or something like that, and that may not be an original quote even, can't remember.
This resonated a lot with me. When the host first admitted that we are a system, I said some… lies or exaggerated truths to keep them more at ease. They might not know what’s going on but at least someone does, kinda thing. I kind of regret doing this. At the time I think it was sort of helpful because it prevented a lot of panic… but it also set me up and caused for some important things to not be dealt with. -Rose
I also feel the need to know everything. But I don't have access to all the rooms in our mind palace. I feel like there are groups of alters within the system. And that makes it hard to keep count of everything. If you asked me how many alters I have now, I'd say 10. But I know from a look in our collective journal that we are at least 30, which is really scary, since I am unable to be in contact with more than half of them at this very moment. It's all very confusing, but I'm new to this in general, so I hope it gets better soon.
You remind me so much of my Aric (who we call Tea). Tea needs to watch this so bad and like, actually listen and follow your advice. But it’s my turn driving and I’m not done yet
Audrey, could you possibly at one point talk to the other adults about your issues (if they are ok with hearing)? (As long as they arent issues you should be discussing with therapist)
🛡️ I've learned to block out the others during therapy and the others respect my privacy. I appreciate the suggestion and concern, I perhaps did not fully communicate that these are issues that I'm working on in therapy
"no one knows what to do when mom cries" this resonates with someone within us, even if we dont quite know who yet
When they said that, I almost cried. I'm not a mom but I felt that. No one really does know what to do when mom cries. Also sorry I'm just getting here after 3 years. Oops. Late to the party.
Takes a lot of f**king self respect and respect of others to be vulnerable like that. That’s honorable. -Roz🎵
We love you Audrey :') thank you for talking about how it's ok to not know things it's so important
🛡️ Love to you all as well 💛
We have a therapist for the adults and one for the kids. That helps us maintain separate spaces and let’s the adults be vulnerable in therapy. We meet with the adult therapist less frequently.
The Emmengard that’s actually a great idea
Thank you for this video. Often times I find myself wanting answers about my system right away but simply exploring what I do know and what I can know should be sufficient enough. I have made big assumptions about some alters in my system and their knowledge but I need to work on that.
Thank you so much for this, I've been experiencing so much confusion lately which sometimes leads me to think I am faking and adds to denial. This really clears up a lot as I felt like it wasn't okay to not know certain things (but weirdly "knowing too much" because my inner world was never hidden I just dismissed it as daydreaming 😯). Honestly I can't even get a clear count on all the alters and still sometimes write it off as "all in my head".
I am glad that you have been figuring out how to have your own needs better met! We badly want actual clear/vivid ability to sense things internally, but it's nice to hear this sort of reaffirmation that it's not unusual to have blind spots and not know things.
Familiar experience, and good advice. Validating and helpful. Thank you, Audrey.
Sim
I have learned things then forgotten for years and had to re-remember following trails of clues. This makes me feel so much better about the question marks about myself. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
thanks for the video. i am starting to suspect that many of our others, especially the humans, don't necessarily know even half of what they should have access to about how our system works. and i need to stop pressuring myself to learn everything there is to possibly know as quickly as possible about our system map without thinking im a total failure if i don't. its a long and arduous fckin journey
this whole video just brings back memories of what was expected of me in our childhood within our family. thank you so much for opening up about this, it means a lot
I'll usually treat others as I usually do in the external world when they are upset and I'll ask what's wrong (usually) and if they dont want to talk about it I'll just sit near them or make sure someone else they trust more is with them. If how they are feeling is causing conflict I'll ask them what's up and if they dont want to talk about it I'll just tell them how they cant let it cause conflict between others (and in both cases) I'll let them know I'm open to hearing what's up if they wanna talk about it
Thank you for your vulnerability, it is so important and encouraging :)
It makes sense that systems who do know they're a system would be outliers. Somebody said, I forget who, it might have been Aether, "you don't know until you do" or something like that, and that may not be an original quote even, can't remember.
This resonated a lot with me. When the host first admitted that we are a system, I said some… lies or exaggerated truths to keep them more at ease. They might not know what’s going on but at least someone does, kinda thing. I kind of regret doing this. At the time I think it was sort of helpful because it prevented a lot of panic… but it also set me up and caused for some important things to not be dealt with.
-Rose
Agreed, it's very problematic, but the important thing is that you stopped and set the record straight. You were trying your best too 💛
I also feel the need to know everything. But I don't have access to all the rooms in our mind palace. I feel like there are groups of alters within the system. And that makes it hard to keep count of everything. If you asked me how many alters I have now, I'd say 10. But I know from a look in our collective journal that we are at least 30, which is really scary, since I am unable to be in contact with more than half of them at this very moment. It's all very confusing, but I'm new to this in general, so I hope it gets better soon.
You remind me so much of my Aric (who we call Tea). Tea needs to watch this so bad and like, actually listen and follow your advice. But it’s my turn driving and I’m not done yet
I’m trying not to pretend that I know everything in my own system because I really don’t and it actually kind of scares me
That's very understandable. It's a scary thing, but there's no need to rush into it. Take it as slow as you need
We thought there was something wrong that none of us have answers about the system.
Audrey, could you possibly at one point talk to the other adults about your issues (if they are ok with hearing)? (As long as they arent issues you should be discussing with therapist)
🛡️ I've learned to block out the others during therapy and the others respect my privacy. I appreciate the suggestion and concern, I perhaps did not fully communicate that these are issues that I'm working on in therapy
@@WeAreAlexandra oh ok