one thing i don't see ppl talking about a lot is DID/OSDD comorbid with something like ADHD and/or autism, a huge part of each of those disorders being hyperfixations and special interests respectively. basically, someone with one of those disorders will obsess over one (or a few) specific things, such as a piece of media or a certain topic, (a common one for autism is trains), and those kinds of disorders comorbid with DID can and probably will cause someone to have a lot of fictives, i know this knowing quite a few systems (including my system) that have not only a ton of fictives, but a ton of *repeated* fictives, as in multiple of the same fictional character, because of our ADHD. it's a completely normal and relatively widely experienced thing with ADHD comorbid DID/OSDD systems, at least in my experience. so if someone has a lot of fictives in their system, maybe it's ADHD or autism, or maybe they just feel that character or that specific piece of media is very safe, or like that character could possibly protect them or take care of them subconsciously, or maybe they just have a lot of fictives because mind your own business! it's not your job to weed out "fake" systems. edit: changed the spacing between paragraphs because that was super weird, lol
this is totally true! my partner is an autistic system, and several of their alters are named after anime characters because most of the system really loves anime. (in their case they don’t actually identify as “fictives,” because they don’t identify /as/ the characters they’ve chosen as namesakes, but they do often share several characteristics with them.) just to say, thanks for making this comment, because i think you’re right that not enough people talk about system comorbidity with things like adhd & autism!
@@PoppyRoseWitch im really glad, and honestly, even reading it (even though its from myself) helps me too. this isn't something i see talked about a lot, and i think it's really interesting how something like this can happen, and the effect that certain medias can have on someone with ADHD and/or autism.
@@keyflowers im glad you liked my comment!! i just think that this sort of thing is really fascinating, and i wish it was brought up a little more. i'm glad to have a comment like this pinned so that people can learn about this sort of thing.
"If you had DID you wouldnt be able to function" I've heard this one. The funny thing is that DID is meant to HELP us function! It's meant to help us survive
Vee Johnson I feel like this is an assumption about a lot of mental illnesses that act as coping mechanisms. People don’t realize that by saying “you shouldn’t be functioning!” They’re just invalidating that person’s experience, making them feel awful, and possibly feeding into whatever thoughts they’ve been having that “oh, maybe I’m not sick after all.”
@@jacyevans I have a tumblr post screen cap of someone ranting. their mom wants them to get a job and do all these things, but they can't because their toddler and flying dog alter get in the way. they have god to be joking. other systems have 2 year old Littles that are excellent drivers
@@kaiyodei I mean, having a little who fronts often could be an issue at work, because they are very easy to manipulated, littles can understand concepts, they just process stuff like children. A flying dog alter, with delusions, which they may have, could easily attempt to fly. Both of these can put the body in a dangerous place, and may get way worse with bad communication. You can never, and should never try to, figure out if a system is faking. What video did you just watch??
This! Eventhough it feels way more scary to do it this way. I feel so much more terrified when I trust someone. So I get that not trusting is the default, it feels dangerous to trust.
Thank you.. It is terrifying.. People don't know that there are so many of us that thought suicide was the only answer. Having supportive people out there is everything to us.. Btw.. Speaking of terminology.. I dont call.. My " system" a system. Everyone got caught up in what to name it that eventually we all went with what I called them early on... "The Gang". You all are the first people I have ever spoken to about this..besides my therapist. Its folks like you.. that help folks like us speak out. Again ...thank you❤
Yeah I also just think even people who fake should probably be like ignored?? You know like they are going through their own shit and this has become and unhealthy coping mechanism but it's none of our business so like ignore it... idk that's my rule
I've met a single person that faked it and the only reason I found out is cos they told me that they where lying and just wanted to be the same as me and try and relate to someone. That person was diagnosed with other disorders that made more sense to them and tho they did lie I never held it against them cos hey what 14 year year old going through shit is 100% perfect. In the end they felt bad they tried to fake it but where grateful that I was still accepting and it helped them grow as a person. Be open with people. Everyone has a justified reason in their own mind in why they did something. Listen be open and if someone is too toxic feel free to walk away calmly.
Dang I have never met someone who has faked. It must have been really difficult to keep that up because DID itself is tiring I can't imagine how hard it would be to fake
I know someone who didn’t even mean to fake it. She had severe childhood trauma and when she discovered DID she thought that would be a way to deal with it and created this illusion for herself and I don’t blame her
I've just gone through this exact thing. For 5 years they faked it. And I only just found out because they told me.... and they had no reason to do it other than to keep my attention. And they were already a toxic person without this... one of my alters was set to marry one of their "alters" and now my alter refuses to talk to even us. I was already distancing myself from this friend for other reasons (I was letting the relationship go naturally) but this added to it... it hurts. But I'm not making a big thing of it, I'm just letting the friendship fade and letting us go our separate ways.
I made up a migraine disorder as a tween because I didn't understand that I was having debilitating panic attacks - I knew I was in pain but had no way to articulate what kind, and I didn't think anyone would believe me. I didn't know how to say "my mind hurts too much to function" so I said "my head hurts". I was hard on myself for a long time for "lying" but I eventually realized that usually when we lie about a health thing, it's because there IS a health thing we don't understand or don't have the tools to talk about. I've since been diagnosed with OCD and social phobia as an adult (and ironically, developed an actual migraine disorder due to a car accident that messed up my neck....karmic? idk?). Aside from people who are truly predatory, I don't think most folks would lie if we knew how to tell the truth safely and know we would be heard.
"Weeding out fakers" is so damaging in mental/chronic illness and disability communities! Even though I am not part of the DID community I relate to a lot of these as a result of my own mental and physical health disorders. Thank you for sharingd
Ari Murphy same here, I was asked about my mental health by the housing office when I was declared homeless and when I told her I had depression she told me everyone says that and it won’t help me get a house faster. I felt awful enough being homeless without being made to feel like my diagnosis was invalid. Plus maby she hears a lot of people say that because it’s fairly common for people living on the streets to suffer from varying mental health issues.
so if i had 4 conditions, and was a soulbonder and mental shifting therianthrope, who thought my theri-side was a differnt person. saying and educating people about DID it is going to be damaging to everyone, and everbody else.
i think you should be there then, if anyone comes out to of been a "munchie". as long as it was self inflicted. be it mental health or physical. or con spirtual people into thinking they have astral AIDs or something
It’s very telling that nearly all of these points can be flipped. “Too similar” and “too different.” Like, those things are mutually exclusive so how can anyone possibly use them as criteria for anything? Wtf.
I'm not a system, but I am a mental health professional and I agree with everything you've said. One sad thing for me is finding people who don't believe DID is real among my colleagues, which is even sadder because at the inpatient facility where I work I have had patients with DID who need their DID recognized so that their co-morbid conditions can be treated in the best way for them, and understanding DID is essential for a holistic treatment of their addiction or depression or other mental health issue. Thank you for speaking up, and for all your hard work. Also, I agree with other commenters: I love the hair!
do they doubt from seeing the community or stuffy science texts? i hear that the way drugs and alchohol affect the body changes in someone with DID. to the point that the host can get fall down, crawling, can't think drunk, but once an alter fronts, they can drive home safe. if an alter can be blind, and nobody else in the system. why not that? the same with non psycosomatic changes from the body, or mental disorder
I don’t have DID, but I think like a lot of people supposedly “faking” mental illness, it’s not like they’re consciously thinking to themselves “yeah, I’m gonna pretend to do this”. Some people may just been mistaken about their diagnosis. And if they are consciously pretending, that person is clearly crying for help anyway. Either way, I’d much rather be a sucker than accuse someone of lying about something this serious. It’s just too much of a risk to their health.
Usually when I see people online or whatever faking disorders for whatever reason I try to just ignore it. (Not all of us though, one alter is more irritable and edgy or whatever I guess) As long as it's not reflecting badly on communities or romanticizing etc. then I try to remind myself, "Hey this isn't really affecting me so why should I put in the effort to say anything" you know?
When I first made a video about being diagnosed with DID, I remember getting so many hateful comments because I didn’t know all the terminology or the ins and outs of this disorder yet. Everyone has a different learning curve and deserves time and grace. Thank you for reminding us of that!
That sounds like bullying. I've noticed that in the community, which is why this is the only channel I watch. Lots of low self esteem breeds bullies and, since DID is born out of trauma, I guess it makes sense that's a thing. Sad, though. No one deserves it.
A close family member completely discounted my diagnosis, said I had no trauma (even tho she says she doesn't remember my childhood), told me dissociation has a whole was for whack jobs, and I was making the whole thing in my head
Peheps have a real hard time accepting that evil is a terrible reality, it's outside the box most are conditioned to what they get from other peeps who haven't been there. Like they get all their cues from laugh tracks on a tv show programming you to believe "this is funny" - or normal. Being able to walk through very dark places with God and a sensitive friend has helped me enormously. That close family member doesn't have (at this time) the skills/tools to support you in the way you'd like. Bless them, try not to judge them, but be thankful your boundaries NOW ARE being taken seriously by the most important person, you, (and a trusted person)
Can you talk about people that try to diagnose DID when its not actually there? I have OCD, which leads to terrible dissociation, and I went to see and EMDR therapist who diagnosed me with DID. As far as I can tell, the only diagnostic criteria was that I dissociated in his office. I would be fine if that was my actual diagnosis, but had I not walked away, I would have been given incorrect treatment. Well down the road from that, my therapist says I'm actually stable! YAY! But this is definitely something that should be addressed... not all dissociation is DID.
@@rickyelliot7161 It's actually not that rare. I know several times where Borderline personality disorder, OCD, PTSD, and bipolar get misdiagnosed as D.I.D. or vis versa. Sometimes, schizophrenia aswell
@@kristall5928 It's usually the other way around... people with DID get those other diagnoses. Maybe it's different or changing in different parts of the world (or country??) but where I live I have yet to find a therapist who solidly understands or believes in DID let alone would diagnose it first before anything else!
I have complex ptsd and the amount of people I've had trying to diagnose me with did and because I have system friends my mother thinks that's why I act up (me 'acting up' is telling her to stop shouting at me because shouting makes me scared af) and then they say 'your alters just need to come forward' I mean I'm 13 calm down I do have a really good therapist now who's helping me with anxiety online so I can go to proper therapy 😊
Yes Kit, preach it sister!! we are so over the whole "faking D.I.D. thing" FR! it's so damaging to tell someone (or someones?) that they are faking! and it really is ridiculous, as D.I.D. is all about survival, each and every system adapts to their own particular circumstances and neurochemistry etc etc, and they are all totally valid. plus it's already hard enough cuz we question ourselves and our own realities enough as it is- no one needs anyone scrutinizing them looking for red flags and shit! esp since, as you said, pretty much all of the "red flags" are things that actually happen with various systems. Thank you for speaking out about this! Much love to you all! -Hunter
It boggles my mind that there are people like that out there. "I took Psych 101 30 years ago, and I watched this one video, so I'm an expert." Thank you for putting yourself out there and teaching people (especially Singles like me.)
Lydia Butler none of my intro psych classes even hinted at DID. We didn’t even cover it in depth for my abnormal psych class. Even with friends with DID and a partner I would never say I’m an expert. I just have a lot of empathy for y’all.
Someone like that tired to tell me to get over complex ptsd from childhood sexual abuse. Saying 'get over it' automatically means you do not know wtf you are saying. There are just projecting there own shit. You can go into remission with ptsd, but you will never 'get over it'.
@@iciajay6891 i hear you don't even tell a fictive to get over in-cannon trauma or abuse, that was the kind nobody could of ever had in life. it's real to them. so it's real
Bleh, those faking-it trolls remind me of my co-workers diagnosing people whenever they act "weird". Spoiler: none of us are qualified to do that, and it's completely pointless. Love the haircut btw.
Some read and watch psychology and want to read people in order to have a "superpower." Others learn it because they want to find the issue they are facing with in themselves. Some have an urge to help others whenever they can in whichever way they feel like it will help the person and I don't mean tossing a coin to a beggar way. We're different inside, some people walk around without knowing that they have APD (Sociopath) and act as they feel like, which may be different from what you feel like. It all depends on the person in question.
@CrimsonCraftyCat I've been asked if I'm on drugs a lot, especially when the "most", autistic alter (basically the whole system is autistic of course, but he doesn't mask a lot) is out living his life peacefully :(
I'm curious about what leads to a large number of fictives as they seem to often have the hardest time blending in as the body's designated personality due to the backstory/present day disparity.
@@MAashChick it's just prevalent in if the "original" (loosely) or whoever the alter split from is very immersed in media. we have fictive alters and were basically raised on media, i got my first laptop with an un-filtered internet connection at 8, so any formed alters at the time probably latched onto the identities of the characters i saw - and i watched a Lot of things!
@@MAashChick For us personally, I think it's how the Brain chose to manifest what it needed, in the form of characters from media it felt would work the best to handle what was going on perhaps? I'm afraid none of us are experts on the matter ~Sylvanas
@@kilobucket another question if I may, do any of y'all have days you sure back and go, "Brain, what was your thought process here?" I know I get days with my ADHD that I'm left trying to figure out how I got from thought point A to point Lambda when all along I was aiming for point B.
@Ashie F I would love to read about their perspectives, I know all of y'all are legitimate, but it has to be weird to live your entire life in say Middle Earth and then suddenly wake up in the "real world" as experienced by the body.
One I hear a lot is "That character is too new, you can't have a fictive of them yet!" Like, I'm not a system, but I'm sure people are allowed to be stressed at any point in time, even after a new character is introduced in a story they like, right?
We got accused of being fake because of Lito for that exact reason. People seem to forget that alters can develop at any time, not just childhood 🙄 -Wyn
What a strange accusation for someone to have? Is the logic that a human brain, the very complex, intricate human brain, has to wait for a copyright to become available? I'd someone says that is a reason to question if a person is malingering, they are grabbing at straws.
because there had been people, and in other communities who did collect fictives and soulbonds as if they were trading cards. because there are people who will see fictive the same as "fictionkin". if I told you I was a character from a movie "in a past life" and that movie came out last month, under other circumstances would you be that way? a "how could you of been them in a past life!? movie came out last month, and was in the works for 5" because sometimes fictives do pull a past life card. and not a "i'm not for true that character, it's more like an export of who I should be. I wear that identidy because you can't be a entidy and have nothing"
@@TheEntropySystem but it still is the result of "a child's brain thinking this is what they need". not "what a traumatized brain needing something". people always say things happen "because a child might". making me then wonder if someone is in a child-like state of emotion or mind, when half the cast of whatever media piece they are realling into
We put up "self portraits" of ourselves on Instagram and had someone tell me I was making a "mockery of people who actually suffer from this disorder"... When we said that we have been formally diagnosed they literally said "I'm not denying that there's something wrong with you but it's not DiD". It was so rude and hurtful. Can't believe people can be like that.
Omgg your hair is so pretty omggggg I had a friend for 7ish years, finally told her about my DID. She called me a liar and she stopped talking to me. Even though I showed her my medical documents she wouldn't believe it. We don't speak to this day. She also contacted my work, telling them I'm insane and a compulsive liar and got me fired... I'm glad she's not my friend anymore.
Sorry to hear that . I only know my boyfriend has DiD becuase i accidentally trigered one of his personalitys ,positiv triger with musik ... i didn't knew he liked that and yeah, but yeah most people with did i knew off are the friendliest persons you could meet and the best thing to do is being nice Wath your friend did whas just downright bad and i feel sorry for you Also if you feel better big hug from an stranger out the web
We usually call ours parts... It sounds so much more of a normalized term, we feel odd saying alters... It really should just matter what each system prefers!
I hate the term 'alters' and never use it. I have no problem with other people using it for themselves, but it doesn't work for me. I never had a name for it. I'm only split in two, so we're just...us. She's her and I'm me. There's no need for a label.
@@Gedankenwald Ahh "folks", I like that, When I'm talking to other people that are out of the system like singular people, I tend to say alter just because it's a well known term, but when I'm talking to others in my system, I usually call them by name or call them people cause, well that's what we are is different people that timeshare a body. Alter kind of sounds better as it can be short for alternate person, but "folks" is a great term
As a 35 year old, whole ass adult, it's so insulting to be told I'm faking. Or my intuitions and my therapists feelings on the matter are flat out wrong. My best friend told me flat out "no, you cant possibly have that. I'd have noticed." And another person I'm close to told me the same thing. Said my personality is intense so if I were multiple they wouldve noticed. It's so hurtful when I've tried to share something so personal with someone and they treat me like a child who couldnt possibly know my own body and what I am and have gone through. And I honestly thought I was normal, that people just didnt remember big chunks of their lives, that everyone just had running dialogue in their heads, or that everyone has very intense feelings and reactions.. idk it's just so isolating. It does make sense now all those times growing up when people would tell me it was like I "had multiple personalities" and I was left confused as to what the hell they were talking about.. our brains are so complicated and crazy.. we are such powerful, beautiful, complex beings piloting a watery flesh sack..
This is a really good way of putting it. I haven't told anyone yet because I'm not in a good situation currently (I'm a 14 year old girl living with her very religious parents who don't believe in mental health or really talking to eachother) but that is probably the biggest fear of someone with any mental health issue. To be told they are faking. Throughout my life I thought I was normal too. I think the best way for me to understand it is if someone is colourblind they don't know. Their green could be your red and you would both may not even notice. Its a matter of perspective.
@@kaiyodei no, a single person cannot have a dialogue in their head because a dialogue requires two separate entitities. you're making lots of comments about this yet you seem uninformed.
@@gothboithick but what if the second person is invasive thoughts? like the one time i thought to my self "oh poptarts i need these" and right away a "no you don't" came into mind
What also makes me angry is that DID research - and research on multiplicity in general - is such a comparatively young field of research. It is foolhardy to judge others' multiplicity for reasons beyond its cruelty.
@@artematthew Damn right it does! Effective advocacy is fueled by good self-care. It must be so, so difficult, but I'm proud of you all for pushing forward!
because it's going to take so much for reserch, and you would need a huge sample size, and also include people who believe they are plural due to spirtual ways. DID/OSDD Multiplicy is not the same as gateway and medien system multiplicty. as is one made of ONLY sounbonds and tulpas. studies are going to need to include them, as well as mildly dissassociating conditions with reality processing problems, and people who think they can talk to ghosts and angels.
@M H like how the human brain is capable of running vivid, lifelife, real time inner worlds of expert level(i don't know what programming term to use) complexity? with each system member interacting in real time, on their own, even to a point it's like the outside world. where you can eat, swim, have a pet, do sorcerly, fly, be the non human you might be, and yes, date your fellow headmate(as well as said world being affected by literal disasters, and not dream-symbolism like happening) that it is not a psudomemory,, not a dream, real universe in the brain.
@M H like ones where there is proof how an alter can have a neurological, physical, mental condiiton but not the body? no such thing as "the body is autistic, bulimic, aspd, ocd, and has food allergies" that any variation in senses is psycosomatic, and any skill sets differ due to amnesia?
People like to think that conditions they can't see are all fake. I chose to believe in the systems. When I don't want to watch one of their videos because the content makes me sad or worried I just skip it. Sometimes their experiences remind me of my own and I need to preserve myself. I think the brain is the most amazing, mysterious and dangerous place. And when I happen to talk about it I say "Imagine that a person goes through a trauma so severe that their brain decides to split into other people to deal with it.". Once I heard that when the brain "feels" in danger it will shut down to preserve its functions and that's why we faint. Now imagine the things the brain would have to go through in other to feel the need to create the alters. And besides we shouldn't be here judging anyone. We don't have the right.
because you cannot mimic some of those things in a laboratory. because some people make claims that sound so outragous. if I told you , I have a place I go, where I can fly around and cast fireballs. you would think it's silly right? well maybe not. you trust and believe the people who do so in their inner-worlds. because it's consistent and not like dreaming.
it dosen't split. the brain never formed as "one", and that is the only way it knows how to deal with harmful situations. humans are all parts until a particular age. the repeted trauma stops that, and all the parts that would come together, just grow their own
Thank you so much for this video, I was recently reported on my Twitter for faking and "harming the DID community"??? Thankfully nothing came of it but it was incredibly upsetting. I've never been anything but honest and open on my account about my very real experiences. It hurt to have someone think that I'm doing it for a joke....
Also I love your all's new haircut!!! It looks so good on y'all and we can tell that it's helped you feel more comfortable, Kit!!! You look so much more confident and comfortable in the body in this video 😊
Wrong Terminology: Where I live the majority of the medical and psychiatric community still refers to it as Multiple Personality Disorder. A lady who works in ER and just recently finished a psychology course at our local community collage even called it MPD and had no idea what DID was. I was hesitant to even mention that I have DID I just asked off highhandedly if they were teaching that subject. So it is very possible that even in 2019 someone could still be diagnosed with MPD and not DID. Switching wrong: Not only is this different from one system to another every switch within the same system can be different too. It's very subtle most of the time because it's a disorder that isn't meant to be noticed but if I'm aware of another alter close to the front and I'm actively trying to stop a switch then it can be a lot more noticeable and dramatic. Number of Alters: That can range anywhere from 2 to 200 (maybe more) so how can there ever be too few or too many? Awareness: I had someone claim that I was faking because I knew about it... of course I was already having time gaps where I had no memory and had been diagnosed by the therapist before this point and he still claimed that I shouldn't be aware of it. To make matters worse when I said I was diagnosed already he immediately jumped to the self diagnosis conclusion and continued to call me a faker. I don't think that should even be issue in this case because it is a mental disorder so self diagnosed or not I think it's still a valid diagnosis. It's not like a physical illness where anyone other than you can actually see your symptoms. It's not like you can confuse the symptoms with any other illness that exists because unlike most other disorders where a symptom can be a sign of many different possible illnesses there's only one conclusion you can come to when one of your symptoms is having other people living inside your head. Anyway... unless you have access to an MRI and do a brain scan I don't think I'd possible to tell... and even then it might not be possible because the system may have medical trauma or claustrophobia that would make switching in that sort environment an impossible thing to do.
Yeah for me I have had a lot of mri scans and I never understood why I couldn't remember them for a long time. Well apparently because they are loud and claustrophobic one of the other members of my system would come out in hospitals who wasn't a trauma holder and therefore I would forget it. I'm currently going to hospital a lot and that is why I am currently becoming aware of my system as I have many memory gaps and so decided to seek help and am in the works of getting a diagnosis. For me also I don't have memories of my mum and when I'm around her I don't remember the conversations. I also don't remember anything from when I was 5 and 6. Really I think everything is so different for each system you cannot expect them to be anything alike because it is what protects you and your brain the best Edit: I just want to clarify I don't have much trauma myself so I still consider my self an ANP.
first time i interacted with someone with it. i could of sworn they told me those are two things. they differ in severity, functionality and source, and source of alters. DID alters are created as a response to external factors or strong emotion. MPD headmates could come from somewhere else.
famous person had 2500 alters. they or a few of them helped get (her) abusive father in jail. I hear it is possible to have millions of fully formed alters. I hear the brain cannot run, a million fully formed, non fragment, non "i think this is me" consiousness states. it might even be possible for 10 to be coconsious.
Generally if someone IS faking it- there's a SERIOUS problem behind their actions. Attacking them for faking it isn't helping them. MAYBE instead of being so hateful, ppl should like try being compassionate human beings and being their friend and trying to help them. But like for real, how in the world does anyone NOT an expert AND having spent a lot of time with the person to even KNOW for real?!
8:46 the self fulfilling prophecy. It’s sociologically recognised. When I did sociology A level we read about it in education. My mum saw it as a teacher all the time. There’s a saying, ‘give a dog a bad name and hang him’. It’s one of the many natural reactions to judgement. And sometimes there’s safety in stereotypes. For me, as a fat person, I stuck a lot to the ‘bubbly’ fat girl stereotype in high school despite having severe depression and anxiety. I could be what was expected of me and know the reaction it got. Sorry for rambling. I don’t have DID but I still relate to the stuff in this video as I experienced the questioning of my depression etc for still doing great in school as that wasn’t the stereotype of my disorder. Then when I sunk really low and took time off school they would still expect me to be ‘fine’ like I was before. We can never win 🙄 Hope you’re all doing ok 💛
This is the most civil and reasonable video on this whole mess that I've seen and we all appreciate you so much!! When we first figured out that we were a system, we really didn't like the term "alter" for a good few months. It took us 6 months to really come to terms with things and longer to even want to reach out and find a community. It's a rough world out there IN GENERAL! Attacking people and pulling them apart is not only WILDLY UNNECESSARY, but it's disgusting. You presented things so well and we all appreciate all of you. The world as a whole needs more people like you. - Maxwell (co. Locke)
LOL @ "Oooh I'm scary and dangerous!" Our worst persecutors flirt inappropriately!!! Oh man...I get sooooo tired of people criticizing the challenges we have in communication, as well as our chosen career. Ooh! Love the hair!!!
This a big topic for me atm. I've been thinking for nearly two years that I have alters. Now I'm not sure. I had a massive seizure (still medically investigating) and since then, I've got none of the symptoms of Did or osdd. I feel so alone and strange and feel so guilty that I was faking it. I still don't even know what's going on. I have been told that it could be that I was reblocked out as that's my job during this time of medical stress. But it could be that I have another disorder that appeared as osdd and doesn't anymore. Honestly I have no idea what's going on but I don't think it's fair to beat myself up for 'faking' as it seemed completely real to me. And what is going on now is freaking me out so much. Mental health is not easy and symptoms are scary and confusing and most people still don't know what's happening to them. It sucks. Really sucks
My therapist always told me during the confusing times to be mindful and see where things go without jumping to conclusions. If you were faking, you wouldn't be asking yourself if you were faking. It would have been a conscious decision. -Wyn
@@kaiyodei hello :) I was diagnosed almost 2 months ago now with non-epileptic attack disorder, an extreme dissociation and panic disorder. I've since started to get a few of the osdd symptoms back but no answers yet. As it's a psychiatric disorder, I believe it can only effect me. As for epileptic seizures, I'm not sure as it's to do with the brain's electrical activity. Hope that helps :)
@@AliceSylph has this been studied/investigated more in the medical field? it just sounds so unbelievable. like if someone says when having a manic episode with their bipolar they are either no longer diabetic or allergic to grapes
Preach sista! My co workers actually deal better with DID than my partner! He has actually used the following sentence: "seems weird that suddenly your symptoms are so much worse lately, you were never this bad (refering to dissociative amnesia) youre obviously faking it." Like ffs WHY! Why would i fake forgetting my passwords and make myself look like a total idiot in the process. Why would i fake missing time. Why in the world would anyone fake switching, it makes you feel ill, it can be really embarrassing and confusing. Like, just why?! I choose to believe anyone who says they have DID is legit. Theres no benefit to this crappy disorder. No one would gain from faking this, cant see why anyone would want to.
I can’t believe some trained therapists deny the existence of this disorder... especially that of RA survivors. I’m working on a paper on DID for my abnormal psych class and expressed my distaste for the dismissive attitudes.
Another point with Fictives: some systems have a TON of Fictives, and, in our own experience, it could be because watching movies or TV shows or reading books is a coping skill or something that your system finds solace in. If you think you're invalid for having lots of Fictives, you are not invalid in any way. Your brain may find comfort or maybe even protection in the disconnection movies/TV/books provide you and may find that certain characters could help you in some way. Same goes for Factives of actors. You may find something comforting or protective or helpful in an actor you may like, so your brain may create an alter based on that person.
but when it is ONLY from your favorites, it looks sketchy, like it's almost choosing who you want . that is why people are skeptical. and not randomly generated alters, or getting an alter from media that one sees all the time. if someone can have an athletic transwoman alter, and another has "their favorite character alter" which one looks more like they are lieing to be cool? (plus the soulbonding thing) what does the brain need with the non intellectual property? and of course the brain is going to want the favorite. but if it's so random, you would think a person will wind up with a brand mascot, and "why did that happen".
D- Agree. It's been terrifying learning to be out instead of covert. Channels like this make me realize i just gotta be like think what you want i don't care i know what goes on off camera. Our system saved us and the most stress we get is from singlets who try to say we're a mental illness or not real
Do I have did if I don’t think of my alters as people, more as personalities? I don’t have much of a change when I which. I’m not diagnosed, but I think I do, am I faking.
@@rossetheduck4872 I also thought that at the beginning. We do change a lot but I'm always aware of the outside world so I thought that I just changed between different personalities. I didn't know our internal communication was internal communication, I didn't know my dissociations were dissociations, etc.
My sister got screwed over by someone who pretented to have a d.i.d. And has seriously suffered because of it. She knew this person for about 10 years and took advantage of her trusting nature and mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused her, using the d.i.d. as an excuse for nearly everything. A few months before their friendship ended, my sister's friend reluctantly admitted that they were faking the disorder. I know there are reasons for that person to have lied so long about something so massive, but how she used that lie to damage my sister... It will take me a long time if ever to forgive them. Yes, I agree that people with mental illnesses (and just people in general) need to be respected and ideally believed, but there are so many fakers out there... And they can affect others in extremely harmful ways. It's so important and sadly nearly impossible to know what is real and what is not. There are many people who suffer this sincerely, and my heart goes out to them. But there are also so many wolves is sheep's clothing. You can't be angry with people who want to know the truth.
Thank you. There are some details I keep private and some I choose to share. It is how I am comfortable. I also am sometimes hesitant to share a co-morbid diagnosis I received because I don't want people making judgements about what they think it should be. I didn't get to choose how to survive as a child, but I'm here and I am just glad to be alive
I personally believe that if someone says they have D.I.D., who is anyone to judge? I do believe them. It is developed due to situations in that person's life that was beyond their control. And if a system is good at masking the alters, it is because it was and is very necessary for survival.
I'm diagnosed with DID but my doctor is threatening to remove it from my diagnoses because "I wouldn't know I had it" and because I don't want to tell her my trauma. I went years without knowing so????
OH MY GOSH YOUR HAIR IS SO WONDERFUL! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! also a question: one of my best friends often has a hard time telling WHOS fronting most of the time for her, do you have any advice for what she can do?
Some kind of wearable alter identification if this is possible for their situation. We have this problem too, but it helped a lot to get those cheap, blank silicone wristbands and have each of our alters pick a different colour. Then when we switch, figuring out who is fronting is easier just by trying to pick which wristband we should be wearing.
Different accessories, like one favorite accessory for each person in the system, like a watch, jewelry, or hats, you can keep a bag around with everybody's accessories in it so when they switch out they can wear their own accessory, individual clothing is also a way to show who is fronting, but it can be a hassle unless one certain person is gonna be trying to front for most of the day.
The Rings System has a good video on alter identifiers (sorry I can't link). They talk about a few different options - one is hair clips. Not necessarily in your hair, they wear them on their t-shirt. You can get them pretty cheap online and have a different colour/pattern each.
New subscriber to your channel. Been binging the past few days. Love the new hair! Love this channel and the dedication yous bring to awareness of DID. Was diagnosed in 1995. Bad time to even try to find a community. This very topic was so terrible back then. Especially with the "False Memory Syndrome" crowd screaming "fakers and frauds" constantly. We went underground. Quit everything (therapy, doctors, meds, anything and everything to do with getting help for us). It's only been a 1.5 years (July 2018) that we searched out therapy again. And, oh my! It's such a relief. Watching your channel and a couple others has given us hope that we can be in the outside world without so much incredible hate being spewed at us. TYVM for the hard work yous put in to helping everyone with DID/OSDD feel wanted, welcomed, loved, validated. -B
Yeah, I got called out for faking because I didnt meet the right age group (7 and up). Trauma can happen at different ages! Mine sadly started at age six and the voice in my head said they could help me and take the pain away. Being a kid, I thought it was an imaginary friend. Boom, here I am as a multiple. I don't know, it felt like we didnt matter. Until I realized, people suffer from traumatic experiences and deal with it differently and this is mine!
@@vanillaa_spice460 it's theorized that OSDD can develop up to age 12ish in some cases, but there's not much research on OSDD. going off of current theories of dissociative trauma disorders, that seems to hold water, but no, DID cannot develop any later than age 9 at the very latest.
2:20 Always said “voices”, for the longest time. It was personal to me and fit because it was normal to us for many years, we had no way to properly research what was going on with myself, and the rest of us as a whole. “Voices” was what we all called each other. We didn’t know about alters, or DID, and I cannot understand why some people don’t realize that we don’t always have access to delving into information. :((((
We’ve dealt with this a lot growing up as a system. Especially with our switches. The only way friends caught in highschool was through notes and changes in phrasing, as well as different/abnormal behavior. Our partner caught on early in the first year of our relationship and then later confirmed through the use of psychedelics -safely- and has seen a majority of the system and works hard to show us the same love and respect. We always love your videos because they prove you guys put a lot of thought, time, and love into the topics you address and we absolutely appreciate you guys ❤️ much love from the rose system.
Yes! Thank you! It's taken me about a year to start really opening up to the others in my system, and one reason I was so determined to wear blinders (instead of actually listening and getting to know how things work within) was out of fear and doubt brought on by the whole fake-hunting trend. I felt like I needed to fit into the definition and match all my experiences/symptoms up with other multiples. I had to hear messages like this a few times before I started to calm down and just accept what was happening. There really is no one right way to be multiple.
I’ve got a friend with DID and they haven’t really shared it with anyone else and they have bad amnesia so they always come to me to ask what they missed so I’m just glad that they all trust me enough to ask what has happened when they were gone
I think I have OSDD-1b (not diagnosed, and can't be, cause therapy is expensive and I can't tell my parents) and one person on a discord server was like "How does your host remember the trauma??? The host isn't s u p p o s e d to remember it. Mine does, but I've been diagnosed and have been researching this for 2 years." and then they asked me about my trauma.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years with someone who straight up told me “I’m creating counterparts on purpose to date your alters” and would act them out. And every time we found out about a new alter that I had, he would ask them their sexuality and their age and name and then immediately create a new counterpart for them. He also told me that my trauma was just a vivid dream. And later he would deny creating counterparts and said that he had DID and that he got it from me or something, and I never once called him fake because I didn’t want to be wrong. But in some situations, like an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s very hard to just back away quietly. However, I do 100% agree with everything you said in this video, there is no way to tell if someone is faking just by “reading signs” and if I didn’t know him personally and have him specifically admit to me that he made it up, I would never even think that. And even with him saying that, most of the time I still wasn’t sure what to think. Just like with everything else he said.
Calling a system fake is honestly so damaging! The first time we tried to explain what was going on in our head to a counsellor (in an emergency) she immediately said we were faking and said "that sounds like a movie, so I think you're just trying to get attention". For years we thought the symptoms of DID were normal. To this day, talking to our (very good) therapist who helped us understand what was going on is nerve-wracking. It's not just online (even though that is very prominent) that a system can be called fake. Sometimes it's people you think you can trust. Either way, it's so damaging!
Honestly I might have DID? I've had some...shitty childhood. I don't remember my childhood much, but my first memory is being so terrified and not knowing who I was, where I was, and who the woman looking at me so concerned was (btw, that was my mother). I have very fragmented memories of my trauma, then I have what was told to me by my grandma, who got some info out of me when I was little. I used to have blackouts all the time when I was growing up. Not all the time, but I brushed it off as daydreaming. I had notes taken for school, but I couldn't remember the last several hours of classes. Other things were like getting ready to shower, then next thing I know, I'm already out and in the middle of drying. It would freak me out, but I've always been told I'm scatter brained and never pay attention to anything (I have ADHD), so again it was brushed off. Years later I had been living with a very emotionally manipulative ex who stressed me out more than my abusive household had ever in my life thus far. The blackouts hadn't been happening for long periods of time in between until then. When my stress was causing me to disassociate (something that never happened unless I was on the edge of what I could handle) every day, my ex said I was acting different. I didn't understand how. He said I was snappy with him and then started to guilt me, which gave me a headache each time. Sometimes id just sit and listen to his bs, other times I'd be listening, then realize he wasn't talking and look around. I'd either be somewhere else in the apartment, or he'd be gone. Usually an hour or more had passed when I checked the time. I blamed it on stress and me running on autopilot. However, it for progressively....worse? The first actual proof of a switch i had was a night we got some alcohol (but keep in mind, I didn't have more than a sip of a large McDonald's Dr pepper with a little 5% alcohol drink in it). I was getting ready to work on something on my laptop. I worked for a minute, got a sip of my drink, then looked back to the time. /6 hours/ had passed and I had no clue what was happening. There was a little work done, but not much more than I had done. The next day my ex asked what my problem was. I had no clue what he was talking about. Apparently in my missing time, he got a call from his dad. His uncle had died that night and his parents were calling from the hospital over in Cali where he's from. He said I heard this on the speaker call, and chuckled. He said I said "people are like goldfish, ya know? They die all the time and you get the fuck over it". I immediately didn't believe him. I didn't remember a phone call from last night. I surely should have remembered saying that. I would never have said that anyways, but his dad called later that day. He told me to be quiet and listen. He had it on speaker. He apologized to his dad about what I said, that I was having a bad night or something and didn't mean it. His dad was really mad and said he wasn't accepting any apology from anyone but me, because I was so rude and inconsiderate towards their family when his uncle has just passed. It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I immediately worried I was having a breakdown. Or something. From then on, I was having more and more blackouts. More when I was stressed or upset, less when I was able to relax and keep myself calm. The moment I was trying to take a nap and I heard someone say something to me in a voice that /wasn't/ my head voice, I was seriously concerned. I was trying to joke my worries away as I was laying down. I thought something along the lines of. "I have a angry alter ego or something, probably. Ha. I'll name him Jared or some other asshole name" and when I finished that thought, my head was filled with a strong, deep voice saying "my fucking name is Devin" or something along those lines. I didn't sleep all night because it scared me so bad. After my ex and I broke up and I met my current partner, my blackouts were still happening, but starting to slow in frequency. I'd still occasionally hear something from the voice calling itself Devin when I was having bad disassociation days. Now, I don't hear anything or feel any emotions that I know aren't mine unless I'm stressed to the point of no return. Then I either have a blackout, or I feel like I'm watching my body moving around from the back of my head. I know that's just disassociating, but it feels like /someone else/ is in the driver's seat. Its not as scary anymore, but it's still unnerving when it happens. I tried finding groups for DID, but I was well...talked kinda badly to. Like mentioned in this video, they took what they thought I should be like and said I was faking, then kicked me from their group. I have a lot of self doubt in general because I've been sickly my whole life, but always told I'm faking everything I feel(I'm pregnant and I was so scared I might be unknowingly faking my symptoms that I took four home tests, all positive, worries I was still faking somehow, and got a test at the Dr office) so you can imagine how that really fucked with my thoughts about what I'm feeling and experiencing. Sorry for the rant. The video dug up some bad feelings and I wanted to just tell someone, anyone really. Edit: some spelling mistakes
This is SO old, but well-- if you're still figuring out your disorder, I suggest to keep a journal. Maybe it can help communicate with your alters if you have any, or note down the dissociations
@@troomtroom_simpuwurawrandn8170 I agree! I dissociate a lot but I don’t have DID, I just do sometimes lol, I keep a journal to keep track of time! I can’t grasp the concept of time sometimes.. xC
@@Orchidlettux Interesting! I'm questioning if I have DID as I am dissociating a lot more than usual to the point I feel like someone else at times and have very little awareness as to what's happening
Thank you so much for this video. The “they’re not a real _____ because ____” bullsh*it is so annoying. PS your new look is lit. ❤️ It suits you hella well and you look really really awesome.
Spike: I just recently surfaced as of a few days ago. Far as I'm aware my host has 10 active alters. It started during the start of this pandemic and when his mom died from Covid. That's actually when the primary alter became active again. There were traumatic events when he was around 5 or 6 years of age revolving around a school that he went to which involved a druggy that he rode the bus with. On top of that, the school didn't treat him well at all. From what I've found out that alter had to switch a ton and just keep him still, ignorant to a lot of what happened. Once he got _out_ of that school then things evened out and the primary alter faded into the background until a year ago. It's been a really rough journey and honestly some of his alters kinda weird me out but I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to it. Keep up the good work.
We recently discovered that we're a system and after talking to our therapist about it and "getting approval", we felt comfortable enough to come out to a few friends about it. There was this one friend who had a relationship with the former host a few years ago and he just went like "but you're EXACTLY THE SAME as in 2013, if there had been a switch I would've noticed, ..." We told him to please stop trying to invalidate our experience (also, even our new host has changed since becoming host, there's no way we're "exactly the same"). Now he made the decision to leave, since we opened up about our former host still being incredibly angry with him for that one thing he did a few years ago that really hurt her and he just went "well, I'll never make amends anyways, so bye". Luckily that was not our first experience of coming out. So far we've had two really wonderful reactions to coming out. One of our friends even replied with "oh, so that just means that I can now like you multiple times". That was really cute.
I'm absolutely loving the hair!! You guys seem to be doing so well and I'm glad to see it! I've been called a faker my whole life. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I've been called lazy and unmotivated my whole life. Its baffling to me the information people think they're entitled to!
This was a great video! I'm relatively new to the community (and being aware of what's probably happening in my head and all that). Symptoms might not be cookie-cutter, but neither are experiences that led to them. Thanks for the reminder that everyone's story and system expression is unique, even with similar themes. As an aside, that haircut rocks! Reminds me I'm due for a cut myself. Lol. -Kate (from an as-yet undiagnosed OSDD-1b (probably) system)
So obsessed with your hair!!! 😍 I’m very early in my journey and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your channel. You’ve saved me and my mental health more than once. Thank you!
Thank you, Kit, for this!! 💙 went through so many emotions watching this, smiled, confused, cried, happy and even angry! You have a way of speaking to me! Defiantly Helped me feel ALOT more real and valid ox - Beth(long term host)
I totally agree with everything you said, just want to add that even if someone is faking any kind of mental disorder it is not ok to call them out and invalidate them, because there's a reason to be doing that and you don't know what's going on in their life or what they've been through that they feel the need to pretend to have a disorder. Mental health is not black and white, it is a spectrum, every experience is unique and valid. Hugs (if allowed) from Chile.
I've been too busy convincing myself that I'm faking it, not that I've exactly been running around advertising it. I've spent my life writing all of this off as my "over active imagination" so as I'm having symptoms, I just assume it's my broken ol' brain just doin' it's thing. Then a few seconds after the symptoms are gone, I've either forgotten it's happened or I think to myself, "There is no way X or Y happened, you're imagining it." The simple answer would be to go to therapy but I'm not having fun finding therapists that I'm covered for by my insurance who happen to be taking clients. So I'm just kind of in a downward spiral of self doubt. I'll be well and convinced that it's not possible and then something will happen and rinse and repeat :/
Now I don't have DID nor am I a system, I just have depersonalization and derealization disorder, but I wish to understand DID and other dissociative disorders better. I do agree, while it has always been a phenomenon where people fake physical and mental illnesses, no one owes anyone an explanation and no one is entitled to anyone's diagnoses and medical records. Not to mention, these are MENTAL disorders, so you can't see what they're going through in their minds, so dissociative disorders are really hard to tell, and like you said, impossoble, and most if not all of the time, you are the only one who can tell when your mind is dissociating. And even so, just because someone is not diagnosed with something doesn't mean they don't have it. Some people don't have access to these or don't have a good support system to encourage them to get help either. You truly don't know what anyone is going through.
It's also worth noting that getting a formal diagnosis can kill a number of career paths... like ours, for example. The moment there's a official documentation of there being more than one of us in sharing the meatsuit, we'll lose our medical card and therefore our license. So going to the VA, booking an appointment with a shrink, and straight up saying "hey, there's more than one person up in this bitch" is completely and totally off the table because even *if* we were received well (and that's a HUGE if, ESPECIALLY on vet benefits), we'd lose our livelihood and our ability to survive. Really does ultimately come down to a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't
"Some people who don't know they're part of a system, that aren't aware that they have DID" I think about this so much. What if that's me, what if I am an alter in someone else's body and my whole life is the product of someone else's brain?
Omgggg alters being similar. I actually was thinking about that within my own system recently. We have a few very heavily goth badass females in our system. But they all do have their own version of goth style and such. But I was recently thinking "why do we have so many gothic females in our system?" Then remembered we grew up with characters we loved such as The Hex Girls from Scooby Doo, Raven from Teen Titans, Sam from Danny Phantom, Shego from Kim Possible, Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family (we actually have an alter that has the same style as her), Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice, Abby from NCIS, Tiffany from the Chucky movies, Gwen from Total Drama Island, etc So... it only makes sense that we were bound to have a few alters based after them whether it was full fictive or taking some aspects such as style.
I guess I really feel dou on this one. In my country people just assume people with ADHD just have lazy parents who cant raise their kids with enough discipline. So I never tell anyone, cause i am so sick of people telling me, an adult who has had a challenging life because of adhd her entire lifetime, that I am just imagining it.or they think they know the symptoms even though they dont even know what adhd stands for and then have the guts to tell me i cant have it, cause i don't even "show typical symptoms"
I LOVED this video!!! I was sitting in my seat going, "PREACH IT PREACH IT!!" I admire your courage speaking out about this! As a system I HATE IT when people ask me if there's a way I can tell if someone is 'faking' and I despise that question. My usual response has been, "No, there's no way I can tell their faking it, but why would someone want to fake this? Doesn't make sense." I do try to shut this type of talk down as fast as possible when it has come up. Again, thanks for the incredible message!! Hugs if ok (Daxx - Encrypted Angels System)
I feel bad about it, but when I was a teen I pretended to have alters. Looking back on it now I recognise I was trying to process emotions or dissociating and was linked to my (at the time) undiagnosed ASD, and it was especially a crutch to help me feel safer when stressed. What I really learnt from it though, was that my friends were deeply supportive of me no matter how strange I was. I'm really glad they supported me through everything, and now I endeavour to learn as much as I can about disorders so can understand everybody's situations and help them too.
I only just found this channel and this video.... and I feel so validated and respected. I've just gone through an emotional stabbing from a friend of 5 years. From the moment we met and connected as best friends, I reached out and said "hey look... these people exist in my head" and as a writer, a lot of them are similar to my character or I've based characters off of them. And y'know... for years it's I've been like "okay yeah. These people exist, it's normal. I have a tight friend group of people going through the same thing" but it only just recently hit me fully that "oh shit. This is actually actual." And it turns out I've had one of my alters for a LOT longer than I realised. And so I excite at this friend of 5 years... and they're like "wait really!?" Pause... pause... "now I just feel really bad about the whole -insert name of "alter"- thing"..... they pretended to believe me and then made up alters and aftet 5 years admitted to me that they were faking.... now many of my alters are badly damaged because they had built relationships with these people that don't actually exist... We're working through it... but this has helped us in many ways, so thank you.
People should never diagnose anyone with anything or not believe their experience if it differs from theirs! I get accused of faking my cptsd; it's so discounting. It's why I share it with no one.
I hope you find people who you can talk to about your experience/diagnosis/trauma (if you want to talk about it). I've had people tell me that I don't/can't have ptsd plenty of times and it absolutely sucks - but when you find people who not only believe you but understand and want to be there for you, it's pretty great. It definitely takes time and not everyone is going to react well, but I do think it's worth continuing to try.
Thank you for another amazing video. When we first told someone (Mom) that we were hearing voices in our head(the body was 5 or 6 yrs old)and we were told to keep quiet about it or "we would get locked up in head jail".Then later when we learned about computers,we tried to interact with the MPD/DID communities of the time because we felt so lonely and misunderstood( only a few back in the 90's;early 2000s)and we was told that we were fakes and liars because we were born with MPD/DID. We felt invalidated and didnt feel that we belonged anywhere and it took a very long time before we opened up to anyone( Single ID or Multi ID).We have learned to forgive those people in the multichats back then ( nobody knew about birth trauma, cptsd,and that infants could be in danger of getting DID/MPD until much later). All Systems are Valid though different from one another.Love from Maine USA
Somebody recently came to me wanting to discuss that they feel I may have DID. And I can't lie I nearly laughed in there face. I hate the idea of self diagnosing and it sounded so ridiculous. From all that I know is I have what I always described as mood swings involved with my dissociative episodes and inconsistent periods of heavy or light amnesia. I do have a heavy history of all kinds of abuse from the time I was a toddler. I've been told I react differently to issues in these "moods" in different ways. Different mindsets and different idealogies. Personally? I still don't believe it. I do struggle with identity and sometimes I feel this (swings?) Are not who I am and they scare me. But I don't believe it's DID. until I can get to my psychiatrist I am doing as much research as possible to figure things out and educate myself.
i am part of an osdd system and i think its so horrible how people, especially people without dissocative disorders, are so obsessed with trying to call people fake and give “reasons” why like i saw a video a while ago saying that having coloured hair is a reason of faking like im sorry what?.. i think a good example of this is the way people treated the wonderland system on tiktok
THE FIRST ONE IS SOOO important!!! For me I haven’t adapted to calling each one of them alters yet. It feels weird to call them alters as it makes me feel a little more sane to refer to them as personalities rather than An alter, because referring to them as such has a connotation of being alternate versions of myself. And as true and accurate as that is to the diagnosis it is still very unsettling to process that and referring to them as personalities helps me deal with the fact that within myself, there is something separate from myself. I love this video for clarifying this because what a person refers to the alters as or how they switch has nothing to do with the realness of the disorder. It has to do with how you had to adapt to whatever trauma and unique situations surrounding each person. There is a general diagnosis but there is not one set way for DID to exist. Even as someone with OSDD I have found these videos so enlightening and helpful to me since the beginning of my journey into figuring out what this diagnosis meant to me and how it affected me. 🖤🖤🖤 keep it up!!!
Thank you for advocating for mental illness and DID in particular. It means so much that you put a voice out there for us systems and making us feel valid. Love you all so much! -The Faithful System
Here's our take....think that more systems are coming out because they see others thriving and coming out and now everyone thinks it's a attention grab. I'm (host) are most def still not open to my family, only like 3 people know and we are even close to opening up to those that are closest to us. We have a spouse that has been with us for almost 5 years now.... slowly trying to introduce him what DID is because of media and other stuff....I struggled for a long f-ing time to accept my reality. He does notice when certain alters are fronting but he just goes quiet. Which makes them uncomfortable and I, end up just making the body sleep for almost 20 hours a day so I can just stay where I am without any noise from the outside..... Other than RUclips, deleted all other social media because it was becoming obvious that it wasn't just me (host) posting...and the family kept making a scene about it because of past addiction struggles. We have been clean for over five years. Ok, this is longer than wanted so pressing send.🤬🌬️💕💞💖
I had a person with DID tell me that I couldn't possibly have DID and must "only" have OSDD because none of my alters cause a lot of trouble in my life
Hells yessss! We love this video! Also off topic, but my system and I love looking at your shelves! We noticed immediately it was different from the usually and started this full blown head space convo about hey there's that one thing I like or omg they like the same stuff we do 😂
I’m so glad to see this video. I see a lot of people on RUclips comments about DID that are very very vicious. I think you brought up very valid points! :) Also your new hairstyle is lovely and looks wonderful on you
Thank you! DID/OSDD is so varied and we as a community needs to be supportive of each other and the experiences we have. If someone admits they were faking then that is different but we should lovingly embrace all.
There needs to be more support with the DID community. Yeah, there's more and more cases. But that's because more people are able to be diagnosed. Also, there's really not THAT many people with DID. But with the access of the internet we're all able to communicate with other systems easier than in the past. All of us in this community need to stick together and stop this witchhunt cause it's way more damaging and causes so much drama that we don't need. Let's become a more supporting community than a hateful one. This video was so wonderful and well put together. Thank you from everyone in my system
I can't imagine why anyone is judging you folks. I have many friends who have DID. They are wonderful people, not dangerous, not weird. It's not rare. I'm sorry you've had weird, nasty comments to deal with.
Karen Heilborn there are some RA survivors who have/had dangerous alters. My partners system had one and she’s now a protector. But I was afraid of her at first.
Yes, but the chances of any alter being violent and dangerous is the same chance of any other person in society being violent and dangerous, with a disorder or not. So it doesn't mean that every person with DID will be violent or dangerous, and it also doesn't mean that no·one with DID will be violent or dangerous, it depends on the person (alter), just like it depends on any other person, how many violent and dangerous un·disorder·ed people you've heard of? People who commit hate crimes, passionate crimes, toxic masculinity, misogeny, homophobia...
I’ve been following the DissociaDID system for a while now. I’m glad you guys popped up on my suggested videos. Thank you for the video. It’s nice to get another opinion & explanation of this disorder. I don’t have DID, I do find it interesting & am curious to know more.
I think there are a lot of people who do Malinger. I've seen it at work ,as a live in 24/7 P/A.I dont think its particular to DID,what I see is people that are malingeres .Tend to pick disorders and illness that is either a difficult diagnosis or something that has a popular image (there are trends throughout medical history ).I had one client who owned 6 wheelchairs, had her house fitted with lifts everything,.I was told in no uncertain terms ,she couldn't walk or even sit up for more than 30 seconds , or she would die.After my 2 and week of live in ,I thpught someone was breaking in the house at night .She was walking down a long stair flight to go to the downstairs kitchen to get extra food .I had a heart attack ,I turned the light on and there she was walking around .If ypu pick a complex diagnosis it's easier to fake .
A nurse told me “if you can remember anything your alters do then you dont have DID” and it felt really bad and i later found out from a trauma specialist that its not true and i have just achieved “co-consciousness”
This video is so very well done: eloquent, passionate, well-organized, authoritative. Thank you very much for it. I really appreciate what y'all are doing with your channel! I realize that now is a hard time for the DID-RUclipsr community, but I want to go on now from having offered compliments to raise a concern. Thankfully, M&M's 360 video came up in my recommendations several weeks ago--probably because of all the current controversy--and I've been binging on this material ever since. So I'm just getting to know your system. What I want to say is that I react negatively to Lito each time he appears, not because of reasons currently hot on RUclips but instead because he feels inauthentic/insincere to me (for reasons I won't specify here). If Lito was a single, I think I would find him inauthentic/insincere and would distance myself from him accordingly; but because he appears as part of a system, he causes me to doubt the reality of the system as a whole--despite the seeming authenticity/sincerity of other members of the system. (I'm just being honest here; I'm not trying to attack you or DID.) As I don't have DID myself and have been learning about it for only several years, I don't really know what to do with this, but I'm currently trying to think of Lito as just one inauthentic (I don't say fake) member of a system populated by authentic alters, and I'm trying to understand him on the model of inauthentic singles I've encountered. One more thing: It seems relevant to point out here that most people (autistics excepted) develop a somewhat reliable sense for authenticity/sincerity over the course of their lives and that this sense is particularly important to trauma sufferers who need to determine at a glance whether someone is likely to hurt them or not. (My own traumas have been religious in nature, and I've suffered them in a tradition that demands blind faith above all, so I no longer have a capacity for blind faith.) So though I appreciate and agree that it's hard to spot a faker, I must nevertheless be on the lookout for fakers and certainly have the right and even responsibility to do so. Also, this seems true for all of us. Anyway, perhaps it's a good idea to develop a more subtle position on the are-they-faking question? I appreciate the position I've encountered over at Multiplicity&Me. Jake has said that he himself has doubts about some systems but keeps them to himself because one can never be sure that someone is faking and he knows first-hand that DID is real. Jess has said that, though she used to get very upset if people doubted the reality of her condition, she has come to respond with patience and understanding. Also, a video on seemingly inauthentic/insincere alters might be helpful. Though people without DID who are even somewhat skeptical about DID might doubt the reality of an entire system--and perhaps even doubt the reality of DID itself--after encountering a seemingly inauthentic/insincere alter, the better-informed response is perhaps to think of that alter as one inauthentic/insincere member of an overall authentic system while trying to get to know the alter better in an attempt to overcome the first impression. Lito, I apologize if my comments are hurtful! Perhaps if I knew you better I would react more positively to you. I'll keep watching in anticipation of this.
This video honestly means so much to me to find. I've been struggling a lot mentally recently, because about a week ago I was diagnosed with DID on top of me already being diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder, and ADHD. During this week I kept having really negative thoughts of, "no this couldn't be real, I'm just making all of this up to make people think I have DID, for attention. I'm faking it. I'm overreacting." All that stuff. This honestly helped me so much to feel valid in everything that I've been feeling and going through, because it explained a lot of things that I had misconceptions about personally from not knowing much about DID yet. So from my bottom of my heart, thank you so much for having this platform to help those that are going through this.
one thing i don't see ppl talking about a lot is DID/OSDD comorbid with something like ADHD and/or autism, a huge part of each of those disorders being hyperfixations and special interests respectively. basically, someone with one of those disorders will obsess over one (or a few) specific things, such as a piece of media or a certain topic, (a common one for autism is trains), and those kinds of disorders comorbid with DID can and probably will cause someone to have a lot of fictives, i know this knowing quite a few systems (including my system) that have not only a ton of fictives, but a ton of *repeated* fictives, as in multiple of the same fictional character, because of our ADHD. it's a completely normal and relatively widely experienced thing with ADHD comorbid DID/OSDD systems, at least in my experience.
so if someone has a lot of fictives in their system, maybe it's ADHD or autism, or maybe they just feel that character or that specific piece of media is very safe, or like that character could possibly protect them or take care of them subconsciously, or maybe they just have a lot of fictives because mind your own business! it's not your job to weed out "fake" systems.
edit: changed the spacing between paragraphs because that was super weird, lol
Trans Punk I have ADHD and this is ME. I know I have to look for reassurance inside myself, but hearing (reading?) you say this is a relief to me.
this is totally true! my partner is an autistic system, and several of their alters are named after anime characters because most of the system really loves anime. (in their case they don’t actually identify as “fictives,” because they don’t identify /as/ the characters they’ve chosen as namesakes, but they do often share several characteristics with them.)
just to say, thanks for making this comment, because i think you’re right that not enough people talk about system comorbidity with things like adhd & autism!
Yes, absolutely!! We're an autistic system, so thank you for mentioning this. It's so important 💜
-B
@@PoppyRoseWitch im really glad, and honestly, even reading it (even though its from myself) helps me too. this isn't something i see talked about a lot, and i think it's really interesting how something like this can happen, and the effect that certain medias can have on someone with ADHD and/or autism.
@@keyflowers im glad you liked my comment!! i just think that this sort of thing is really fascinating, and i wish it was brought up a little more. i'm glad to have a comment like this pinned so that people can learn about this sort of thing.
"If you had DID you wouldnt be able to function" I've heard this one. The funny thing is that DID is meant to HELP us function! It's meant to help us survive
Vee Johnson I feel like this is an assumption about a lot of mental illnesses that act as coping mechanisms. People don’t realize that by saying “you shouldn’t be functioning!” They’re just invalidating that person’s experience, making them feel awful, and possibly feeding into whatever thoughts they’ve been having that “oh, maybe I’m not sick after all.”
I dont have DID but i love the way you explained this. So many people need to see this comment
@@jacyevans I have a tumblr post screen cap of someone ranting. their mom wants them to get a job and do all these things, but they can't because their toddler and flying dog alter get in the way. they have god to be joking. other systems have 2 year old Littles that are excellent drivers
@@kaiyodei I mean, having a little who fronts often could be an issue at work, because they are very easy to manipulated, littles can understand concepts, they just process stuff like children. A flying dog alter, with delusions, which they may have, could easily attempt to fly. Both of these can put the body in a dangerous place, and may get way worse with bad communication. You can never, and should never try to, figure out if a system is faking. What video did you just watch??
@@settheshallow8913 I thought DID didn't come with delusions
I’d rather be the person to believe a person who’s lying about serious things then be someone questioning peoples legitimacy.
This! Eventhough it feels way more scary to do it this way. I feel so much more terrified when I trust someone. So I get that not trusting is the default, it feels dangerous to trust.
Thank you.. It is terrifying.. People don't know that there are so many of us that thought suicide was the only answer. Having supportive people out there is everything to us..
Btw.. Speaking of terminology.. I dont call.. My " system" a system. Everyone got caught up in what to name it that eventually we all went with what I called them early on... "The Gang". You all are the first people I have ever spoken to about this..besides my therapist. Its folks like you.. that help folks like us speak out. Again ...thank you❤
Yes yes yes!!! -Wyn
Yeah I also just think even people who fake should probably be like ignored?? You know like they are going through their own shit and this has become and unhealthy coping mechanism but it's none of our business so like ignore it... idk that's my rule
Agreed, and thank you. Acceptance isn't a risk.
Haircut: love it. So cute
Makeup: superb I love I stan
Video: always good af
Preach
Hotel: Trivago
She looks like Yasmin Hani from malaysia 🤔 ruclips.net/video/UYbCZsDRzL8/видео.html
Trying to suss out “faking” is so much “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”
Khecid’s Dragons absolutely. That sums it all up pretty well
It's like literal Witch hunting
I've met a single person that faked it and the only reason I found out is cos they told me that they where lying and just wanted to be the same as me and try and relate to someone. That person was diagnosed with other disorders that made more sense to them and tho they did lie I never held it against them cos hey what 14 year year old going through shit is 100% perfect. In the end they felt bad they tried to fake it but where grateful that I was still accepting and it helped them grow as a person. Be open with people. Everyone has a justified reason in their own mind in why they did something. Listen be open and if someone is too toxic feel free to walk away calmly.
Dang I have never met someone who has faked. It must have been really difficult to keep that up because DID itself is tiring I can't imagine how hard it would be to fake
I know someone who didn’t even mean to fake it. She had severe childhood trauma and when she discovered DID she thought that would be a way to deal with it and created this illusion for herself and I don’t blame her
I've just gone through this exact thing. For 5 years they faked it. And I only just found out because they told me.... and they had no reason to do it other than to keep my attention. And they were already a toxic person without this... one of my alters was set to marry one of their "alters" and now my alter refuses to talk to even us. I was already distancing myself from this friend for other reasons (I was letting the relationship go naturally) but this added to it... it hurts. But I'm not making a big thing of it, I'm just letting the friendship fade and letting us go our separate ways.
they could still become plural with evoking spirits and driving themself into "poor mental health"
I made up a migraine disorder as a tween because I didn't understand that I was having debilitating panic attacks - I knew I was in pain but had no way to articulate what kind, and I didn't think anyone would believe me. I didn't know how to say "my mind hurts too much to function" so I said "my head hurts". I was hard on myself for a long time for "lying" but I eventually realized that usually when we lie about a health thing, it's because there IS a health thing we don't understand or don't have the tools to talk about. I've since been diagnosed with OCD and social phobia as an adult (and ironically, developed an actual migraine disorder due to a car accident that messed up my neck....karmic? idk?). Aside from people who are truly predatory, I don't think most folks would lie if we knew how to tell the truth safely and know we would be heard.
"Weeding out fakers" is so damaging in mental/chronic illness and disability communities! Even though I am not part of the DID community I relate to a lot of these as a result of my own mental and physical health disorders. Thank you for sharingd
Ari Murphy same here, I was asked about my mental health by the housing office when I was declared homeless and when I told her I had depression she told me everyone says that and it won’t help me get a house faster. I felt awful enough being homeless without being made to feel like my diagnosis was invalid. Plus maby she hears a lot of people say that because it’s fairly common for people living on the streets to suffer from varying mental health issues.
Same
so if i had 4 conditions, and was a soulbonder and mental shifting therianthrope, who thought my theri-side was a differnt person. saying and educating people about DID it is going to be damaging to everyone, and everbody else.
It's because sensationalism makes it difficult for people to get help. 🤦♀️
i think you should be there then, if anyone comes out to of been a "munchie". as long as it was self inflicted. be it mental health or physical. or con spirtual people into thinking they have astral AIDs or something
It’s very telling that nearly all of these points can be flipped. “Too similar” and “too different.” Like, those things are mutually exclusive so how can anyone possibly use them as criteria for anything? Wtf.
KeetyAlexx might as well say “they don’t have DID they same way I have it and that makes me mad!”
Katie K right?!? That’s so ridiculous considering osdd exists
@@Lovelydeck guess that is why it's hard to study, or believe. I guess it's a spectrum, like everything is
I'm not a system, but I am a mental health professional and I agree with everything you've said. One sad thing for me is finding people who don't believe DID is real among my colleagues, which is even sadder because at the inpatient facility where I work I have had patients with DID who need their DID recognized so that their co-morbid conditions can be treated in the best way for them, and understanding DID is essential for a holistic treatment of their addiction or depression or other mental health issue. Thank you for speaking up, and for all your hard work. Also, I agree with other commenters: I love the hair!
do they doubt from seeing the community or stuffy science texts? i hear that the way drugs and alchohol affect the body changes in someone with DID. to the point that the host can get fall down, crawling, can't think drunk, but once an alter fronts, they can drive home safe. if an alter can be blind, and nobody else in the system. why not that?
the same with non psycosomatic changes from the body, or mental disorder
kaiyodei get help from a professional. stop harassing others on the internet.
@@kaiyodei alcohol decrease any person's skill to drive. That is body functions and not personality difference within the same body.
AHHH THIS HAIRCUT LOOKS AMAZING ON THE BODY! ACTUALLY THE WHOLE LOOK IS AMAZING!!😍
I don’t have DID, but I think like a lot of people supposedly “faking” mental illness, it’s not like they’re consciously thinking to themselves “yeah, I’m gonna pretend to do this”. Some people may just been mistaken about their diagnosis. And if they are consciously pretending, that person is clearly crying for help anyway. Either way, I’d much rather be a sucker than accuse someone of lying about something this serious. It’s just too much of a risk to their health.
this is such a good point tbh. alot of times faking something so severe (not necessarily did) is a symptom of something much bigger
munchausens....
because some people make it look 'cool". or awareness becomes popular so people think it's trendy. so they get Imitative DID.
www.kinmunity.com/library/alterhuman/plurality/a-guide-to-multiplicity-r18/ you might not want to have DID. but gateway systems
Usually when I see people online or whatever faking disorders for whatever reason I try to just ignore it. (Not all of us though, one alter is more irritable and edgy or whatever I guess) As long as it's not reflecting badly on communities or romanticizing etc. then I try to remind myself, "Hey this isn't really affecting me so why should I put in the effort to say anything" you know?
When I first made a video about being diagnosed with DID, I remember getting so many hateful comments because I didn’t know all the terminology or the ins and outs of this disorder yet. Everyone has a different learning curve and deserves time and grace. Thank you for reminding us of that!
That sounds like bullying. I've noticed that in the community, which is why this is the only channel I watch. Lots of low self esteem breeds bullies and, since DID is born out of trauma, I guess it makes sense that's a thing. Sad, though. No one deserves it.
@@papongpapong1047 thanks I appreciate it
Multiplicity and me as well 😊
but endogenicsssssssssssssssssssssss
www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2018/04/can-a-headmate-kill-another-headmate thoughts?
A close family member completely discounted my diagnosis, said I had no trauma (even tho she says she doesn't remember my childhood), told me dissociation has a whole was for whack jobs, and I was making the whole thing in my head
Just a quick absolutely FUCK that person
Pinky Dinky sounds like that person earned a ticket out of your life!
She sounds f*cked up and needs a therapist.
Peheps have a real hard time accepting that evil is a terrible reality, it's outside the box most are conditioned to what they get from other peeps who haven't been there. Like they get all their cues from laugh tracks on a tv show programming you to believe "this is funny" - or normal. Being able to walk through very dark places with God and a sensitive friend has helped me enormously. That close family member doesn't have (at this time) the skills/tools to support you in the way you'd like. Bless them, try not to judge them, but be thankful your boundaries NOW ARE being taken seriously by the most important person, you, (and a trusted person)
Bruh... Where tf else would it be? I hate the "it's all in your head" is so dumb for mental disorders
Can you talk about people that try to diagnose DID when its not actually there? I have OCD, which leads to terrible dissociation, and I went to see and EMDR therapist who diagnosed me with DID. As far as I can tell, the only diagnostic criteria was that I dissociated in his office. I would be fine if that was my actual diagnosis, but had I not walked away, I would have been given incorrect treatment. Well down the road from that, my therapist says I'm actually stable! YAY! But this is definitely something that should be addressed... not all dissociation is DID.
I think that's a pretty rare occurrence, and a very shitty therapist! Sorry that happened, and glad you got a correct diagnosis!
@@rickyelliot7161 It's actually not that rare. I know several times where Borderline personality disorder, OCD, PTSD, and bipolar get misdiagnosed as D.I.D. or vis versa. Sometimes, schizophrenia aswell
@@kristall5928 It's usually the other way around... people with DID get those other diagnoses. Maybe it's different or changing in different parts of the world (or country??) but where I live I have yet to find a therapist who solidly understands or believes in DID let alone would diagnose it first before anything else!
I have complex ptsd and the amount of people I've had trying to diagnose me with did and because I have system friends my mother thinks that's why I act up (me 'acting up' is telling her to stop shouting at me because shouting makes me scared af) and then they say 'your alters just need to come forward' I mean I'm 13 calm down
I do have a really good therapist now who's helping me with anxiety online so I can go to proper therapy 😊
is it common for autistic-bipolar-ocd people to have systems? would you want a system for your OCD? it could be healthy.
Yes Kit, preach it sister!! we are so over the whole "faking D.I.D. thing" FR! it's so damaging to tell someone (or someones?) that they are faking! and it really is ridiculous, as D.I.D. is all about survival, each and every system adapts to their own particular circumstances and neurochemistry etc etc, and they are all totally valid. plus it's already hard enough cuz we question ourselves and our own realities enough as it is- no one needs anyone scrutinizing them looking for red flags and shit! esp since, as you said, pretty much all of the "red flags" are things that actually happen with various systems. Thank you for speaking out about this! Much love to you all! -Hunter
It boggles my mind that there are people like that out there. "I took Psych 101 30 years ago, and I watched this one video, so I'm an expert."
Thank you for putting yourself out there and teaching people (especially Singles like me.)
Lydia Butler none of my intro psych classes even hinted at DID. We didn’t even cover it in depth for my abnormal psych class. Even with friends with DID and a partner I would never say I’m an expert. I just have a lot of empathy for y’all.
Someone like that tired to tell me to get over complex ptsd from childhood sexual abuse. Saying 'get over it' automatically means you do not know wtf you are saying. There are just projecting there own shit. You can go into remission with ptsd, but you will never 'get over it'.
astrea's web site is good place
@@iciajay6891 i hear you don't even tell a fictive to get over in-cannon trauma or abuse, that was the kind nobody could of ever had in life. it's real to them. so it's real
it's better than learning from woo-ish sites writen by people with DID but who might be endogenics
Bleh, those faking-it trolls remind me of my co-workers diagnosing people whenever they act "weird". Spoiler: none of us are qualified to do that, and it's completely pointless.
Love the haircut btw.
Some read and watch psychology and want to read people in order to have a "superpower." Others learn it because they want to find the issue they are facing with in themselves. Some have an urge to help others whenever they can in whichever way they feel like it will help the person and I don't mean tossing a coin to a beggar way. We're different inside, some people walk around without knowing that they have APD (Sociopath) and act as they feel like, which may be different from what you feel like. It all depends on the person in question.
She pulls ot off perfectly. Wish I could
It's to bully people because they bring stigma
@CrimsonCraftyCat I've been asked if I'm on drugs a lot, especially when the "most", autistic alter (basically the whole system is autistic of course, but he doesn't mask a lot) is out living his life peacefully :(
I have those coworkers too! Or just one who does that.
As a system of mostly introjects/fictives, really appreciated this!!!!!
~Envy
I'm curious about what leads to a large number of fictives as they seem to often have the hardest time blending in as the body's designated personality due to the backstory/present day disparity.
@@MAashChick it's just prevalent in if the "original" (loosely) or whoever the alter split from is very immersed in media. we have fictive alters and were basically raised on media, i got my first laptop with an un-filtered internet connection at 8, so any formed alters at the time probably latched onto the identities of the characters i saw - and i watched a Lot of things!
@@MAashChick For us personally, I think it's how the Brain chose to manifest what it needed, in the form of characters from media it felt would work the best to handle what was going on perhaps? I'm afraid none of us are experts on the matter ~Sylvanas
@@kilobucket another question if I may, do any of y'all have days you sure back and go, "Brain, what was your thought process here?"
I know I get days with my ADHD that I'm left trying to figure out how I got from thought point A to point Lambda when all along I was aiming for point B.
@Ashie F I would love to read about their perspectives, I know all of y'all are legitimate, but it has to be weird to live your entire life in say Middle Earth and then suddenly wake up in the "real world" as experienced by the body.
One I hear a lot is "That character is too new, you can't have a fictive of them yet!" Like, I'm not a system, but I'm sure people are allowed to be stressed at any point in time, even after a new character is introduced in a story they like, right?
We got accused of being fake because of Lito for that exact reason. People seem to forget that alters can develop at any time, not just childhood 🙄 -Wyn
What a strange accusation for someone to have? Is the logic that a human brain, the very complex, intricate human brain, has to wait for a copyright to become available? I'd someone says that is a reason to question if a person is malingering, they are grabbing at straws.
If* (ugh I hate autocorrect, what devil invented autocorrect! I know what word I'm typing, let me type it!)
because there had been people, and in other communities who did collect fictives and soulbonds as if they were trading cards. because there are people who will see fictive the same as "fictionkin". if I told you I was a character from a movie "in a past life" and that movie came out last month, under other circumstances would you be that way? a "how could you of been them in a past life!? movie came out last month, and was in the works for 5" because sometimes fictives do pull a past life card. and not a "i'm not for true that character, it's more like an export of who I should be. I wear that identidy because you can't be a entidy and have nothing"
@@TheEntropySystem but it still is the result of "a child's brain thinking this is what they need". not "what a traumatized brain needing something". people always say things happen "because a child might". making me then wonder if someone is in a child-like state of emotion or mind, when half the cast of whatever media piece they are realling into
We put up "self portraits" of ourselves on Instagram and had someone tell me I was making a "mockery of people who actually suffer from this disorder"... When we said that we have been formally diagnosed they literally said "I'm not denying that there's something wrong with you but it's not DiD".
It was so rude and hurtful. Can't believe people can be like that.
Omgg your hair is so pretty omggggg
I had a friend for 7ish years, finally told her about my DID. She called me a liar and she stopped talking to me. Even though I showed her my medical documents she wouldn't believe it. We don't speak to this day. She also contacted my work, telling them I'm insane and a compulsive liar and got me fired... I'm glad she's not my friend anymore.
What an awful person...I'm so sorry. -Wyn
Sorry you got hurt. 🤗 big hug for you.
Sorry to hear that .
I only know my boyfriend has DiD becuase i accidentally trigered one of his personalitys ,positiv triger with musik ... i didn't knew he liked that and yeah, but yeah most people with did i knew off are the friendliest persons you could meet and the best thing to do is being nice
Wath your friend did whas just downright bad and i feel sorry for you
Also if you feel better big hug from an stranger out the web
I have to admit I call my alters “characters” because of the stigma 😞 and it makes them uncomfortable to be called alters.
I call them facets because it fits and that's what they are.
We usually call ours parts... It sounds so much more of a normalized term, we feel odd saying alters... It really should just matter what each system prefers!
I hate the term 'alters' and never use it. I have no problem with other people using it for themselves, but it doesn't work for me. I never had a name for it. I'm only split in two, so we're just...us. She's her and I'm me. There's no need for a label.
We came up with "folks" XD
@@Gedankenwald Ahh "folks", I like that, When I'm talking to other people that are out of the system like singular people, I tend to say alter just because it's a well known term, but when I'm talking to others in my system, I usually call them by name or call them people cause, well that's what we are is different people that timeshare a body. Alter kind of sounds better as it can be short for alternate person, but "folks" is a great term
As a 35 year old, whole ass adult, it's so insulting to be told I'm faking. Or my intuitions and my therapists feelings on the matter are flat out wrong. My best friend told me flat out "no, you cant possibly have that. I'd have noticed." And another person I'm close to told me the same thing. Said my personality is intense so if I were multiple they wouldve noticed. It's so hurtful when I've tried to share something so personal with someone and they treat me like a child who couldnt possibly know my own body and what I am and have gone through. And I honestly thought I was normal, that people just didnt remember big chunks of their lives, that everyone just had running dialogue in their heads, or that everyone has very intense feelings and reactions.. idk it's just so isolating. It does make sense now all those times growing up when people would tell me it was like I "had multiple personalities" and I was left confused as to what the hell they were talking about.. our brains are so complicated and crazy.. we are such powerful, beautiful, complex beings piloting a watery flesh sack..
This is a really good way of putting it. I haven't told anyone yet because I'm not in a good situation currently (I'm a 14 year old girl living with her very religious parents who don't believe in mental health or really talking to eachother) but that is probably the biggest fear of someone with any mental health issue. To be told they are faking. Throughout my life I thought I was normal too. I think the best way for me to understand it is if someone is colourblind they don't know. Their green could be your red and you would both may not even notice. Its a matter of perspective.
I'm 25, and honestly you just like discribed my life. I still can't believe everyone doesnt have running dialogue in their heads.
well, a person can change their inner monologue into diaolaug if they work hard
@@kaiyodei no, a single person cannot have a dialogue in their head because a dialogue requires two separate entitities. you're making lots of comments about this yet you seem uninformed.
@@gothboithick but what if the second person is invasive thoughts? like the one time i thought to my self "oh poptarts i need these" and right away a "no you don't" came into mind
What also makes me angry is that DID research - and research on multiplicity in general - is such a comparatively young field of research. It is foolhardy to judge others' multiplicity for reasons beyond its cruelty.
Also LOVING the look. Y'all look AMAZING!
@@artematthew Damn right it does! Effective advocacy is fueled by good self-care. It must be so, so difficult, but I'm proud of you all for pushing forward!
because it's going to take so much for reserch, and you would need a huge sample size, and also include people who believe they are plural due to spirtual ways.
DID/OSDD Multiplicy is not the same as gateway and medien system multiplicty. as is one made of ONLY sounbonds and tulpas. studies are going to need to include them, as well as mildly dissassociating conditions with reality processing problems, and people who think they can talk to ghosts and angels.
@M H like how the human brain is capable of running vivid, lifelife, real time inner worlds of expert level(i don't know what programming term to use) complexity? with each system member interacting in real time, on their own, even to a point it's like the outside world. where you can eat, swim, have a pet, do sorcerly, fly, be the non human you might be, and yes, date your fellow headmate(as well as said world being affected by literal disasters, and not dream-symbolism like happening) that it is not a psudomemory,, not a dream, real universe in the brain.
@M H like ones where there is proof how an alter can have a neurological, physical, mental condiiton but not the body? no such thing as "the body is autistic, bulimic, aspd, ocd, and has food allergies" that any variation in senses is psycosomatic, and any skill sets differ due to amnesia?
People like to think that conditions they can't see are all fake.
I chose to believe in the systems. When I don't want to watch one of their videos because the content makes me sad or worried I just skip it. Sometimes their experiences remind me of my own and I need to preserve myself.
I think the brain is the most amazing, mysterious and dangerous place. And when I happen to talk about it I say "Imagine that a person goes through a trauma so severe that their brain decides to split into other people to deal with it.".
Once I heard that when the brain "feels" in danger it will shut down to preserve its functions and that's why we faint. Now imagine the things the brain would have to go through in other to feel the need to create the alters.
And besides we shouldn't be here judging anyone. We don't have the right.
because you cannot mimic some of those things in a laboratory. because some people make claims that sound so outragous. if I told you , I have a place I go, where I can fly around and cast fireballs. you would think it's silly right? well maybe not. you trust and believe the people who do so in their inner-worlds. because it's consistent and not like dreaming.
it dosen't split. the brain never formed as "one", and that is the only way it knows how to deal with harmful situations. humans are all parts until a particular age. the repeted trauma stops that, and all the parts that would come together, just grow their own
Thank you so much for this video, I was recently reported on my Twitter for faking and "harming the DID community"???
Thankfully nothing came of it but it was incredibly upsetting. I've never been anything but honest and open on my account about my very real experiences. It hurt to have someone think that I'm doing it for a joke....
Also I love your all's new haircut!!! It looks so good on y'all and we can tell that it's helped you feel more comfortable, Kit!!! You look so much more confident and comfortable in the body in this video 😊
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Keep on keeping on and be safe!
The notion of doing that to an already-traumatized person is so disgusting. I'm glad to hear you were alright.
Wrong Terminology: Where I live the majority of the medical and psychiatric community still refers to it as Multiple Personality Disorder. A lady who works in ER and just recently finished a psychology course at our local community collage even called it MPD and had no idea what DID was. I was hesitant to even mention that I have DID I just asked off highhandedly if they were teaching that subject. So it is very possible that even in 2019 someone could still be diagnosed with MPD and not DID.
Switching wrong: Not only is this different from one system to another every switch within the same system can be different too. It's very subtle most of the time because it's a disorder that isn't meant to be noticed but if I'm aware of another alter close to the front and I'm actively trying to stop a switch then it can be a lot more noticeable and dramatic.
Number of Alters: That can range anywhere from 2 to 200 (maybe more) so how can there ever be too few or too many?
Awareness: I had someone claim that I was faking because I knew about it... of course I was already having time gaps where I had no memory and had been diagnosed by the therapist before this point and he still claimed that I shouldn't be aware of it. To make matters worse when I said I was diagnosed already he immediately jumped to the self diagnosis conclusion and continued to call me a faker. I don't think that should even be issue in this case because it is a mental disorder so self diagnosed or not I think it's still a valid diagnosis. It's not like a physical illness where anyone other than you can actually see your symptoms. It's not like you can confuse the symptoms with any other illness that exists because unlike most other disorders where a symptom can be a sign of many different possible illnesses there's only one conclusion you can come to when one of your symptoms is having other people living inside your head.
Anyway... unless you have access to an MRI and do a brain scan I don't think I'd possible to tell... and even then it might not be possible because the system may have medical trauma or claustrophobia that would make switching in that sort environment an impossible thing to do.
There's a documentary on 60 Minutes about a woman with 2500 parts who got her abuser put away for life
Yeah for me I have had a lot of mri scans and I never understood why I couldn't remember them for a long time. Well apparently because they are loud and claustrophobic one of the other members of my system would come out in hospitals who wasn't a trauma holder and therefore I would forget it. I'm currently going to hospital a lot and that is why I am currently becoming aware of my system as I have many memory gaps and so decided to seek help and am in the works of getting a diagnosis. For me also I don't have memories of my mum and when I'm around her I don't remember the conversations. I also don't remember anything from when I was 5 and 6. Really I think everything is so different for each system you cannot expect them to be anything alike because it is what protects you and your brain the best
Edit: I just want to clarify I don't have much trauma myself so I still consider my self an ANP.
first time i interacted with someone with it. i could of sworn they told me those are two things. they differ in severity, functionality and source, and source of alters. DID alters are created as a response to external factors or strong emotion. MPD headmates could come from somewhere else.
famous person had 2500 alters. they or a few of them helped get (her) abusive father in jail. I hear it is possible to have millions of fully formed alters. I hear the brain cannot run, a million fully formed, non fragment, non "i think this is me" consiousness states. it might even be possible for 10 to be coconsious.
even good actor's brain changes when they really get into the role
EVERY SYSTEM NO MATTER HOW THEY PRESENT IS VALID
Many people don't consider themselves a "system". I'm not the disorder.
@@Shadow-nlr No not saying the person is a system, but that they *have* a system
Every professionally diagnosed system is valid.
YES
@@telesnow every system diagnosed or not is valid, actually
Generally if someone IS faking it- there's a SERIOUS problem behind their actions. Attacking them for faking it isn't helping them. MAYBE instead of being so hateful, ppl should like try being compassionate human beings and being their friend and trying to help them.
But like for real, how in the world does anyone NOT an expert AND having spent a lot of time with the person to even KNOW for real?!
like munchausens, or extream lonlyness?
8:46 the self fulfilling prophecy. It’s sociologically recognised. When I did sociology A level we read about it in education. My mum saw it as a teacher all the time. There’s a saying, ‘give a dog a bad name and hang him’. It’s one of the many natural reactions to judgement. And sometimes there’s safety in stereotypes. For me, as a fat person, I stuck a lot to the ‘bubbly’ fat girl stereotype in high school despite having severe depression and anxiety. I could be what was expected of me and know the reaction it got.
Sorry for rambling. I don’t have DID but I still relate to the stuff in this video as I experienced the questioning of my depression etc for still doing great in school as that wasn’t the stereotype of my disorder. Then when I sunk really low and took time off school they would still expect me to be ‘fine’ like I was before. We can never win 🙄
Hope you’re all doing ok 💛
This is the most civil and reasonable video on this whole mess that I've seen and we all appreciate you so much!!
When we first figured out that we were a system, we really didn't like the term "alter" for a good few months. It took us 6 months to really come to terms with things and longer to even want to reach out and find a community. It's a rough world out there IN GENERAL! Attacking people and pulling them apart is not only WILDLY UNNECESSARY, but it's disgusting. You presented things so well and we all appreciate all of you. The world as a whole needs more people like you. - Maxwell (co. Locke)
LOL @ "Oooh I'm scary and dangerous!" Our worst persecutors flirt inappropriately!!!
Oh man...I get sooooo tired of people criticizing the challenges we have in communication, as well as our chosen career.
Ooh! Love the hair!!!
This a big topic for me atm. I've been thinking for nearly two years that I have alters. Now I'm not sure. I had a massive seizure (still medically investigating) and since then, I've got none of the symptoms of Did or osdd. I feel so alone and strange and feel so guilty that I was faking it. I still don't even know what's going on. I have been told that it could be that I was reblocked out as that's my job during this time of medical stress. But it could be that I have another disorder that appeared as osdd and doesn't anymore.
Honestly I have no idea what's going on but I don't think it's fair to beat myself up for 'faking' as it seemed completely real to me. And what is going on now is freaking me out so much. Mental health is not easy and symptoms are scary and confusing and most people still don't know what's happening to them.
It sucks. Really sucks
My therapist always told me during the confusing times to be mindful and see where things go without jumping to conclusions.
If you were faking, you wouldn't be asking yourself if you were faking. It would have been a conscious decision. -Wyn
it is possible for only one alter to have a seizure condition.
@@kaiyodei hello :) I was diagnosed almost 2 months ago now with non-epileptic attack disorder, an extreme dissociation and panic disorder. I've since started to get a few of the osdd symptoms back but no answers yet. As it's a psychiatric disorder, I believe it can only effect me. As for epileptic seizures, I'm not sure as it's to do with the brain's electrical activity. Hope that helps :)
@@AliceSylph has this been studied/investigated more in the medical field? it just sounds so unbelievable. like if someone says when having a manic episode with their bipolar they are either no longer diabetic or allergic to grapes
Preach sista! My co workers actually deal better with DID than my partner! He has actually used the following sentence: "seems weird that suddenly your symptoms are so much worse lately, you were never this bad (refering to dissociative amnesia) youre obviously faking it."
Like ffs WHY! Why would i fake forgetting my passwords and make myself look like a total idiot in the process. Why would i fake missing time. Why in the world would anyone fake switching, it makes you feel ill, it can be really embarrassing and confusing. Like, just why?! I choose to believe anyone who says they have DID is legit. Theres no benefit to this crappy disorder. No one would gain from faking this, cant see why anyone would want to.
I can’t believe some trained therapists deny the existence of this disorder... especially that of RA survivors. I’m working on a paper on DID for my abnormal psych class and expressed my distaste for the dismissive attitudes.
Totally a huge reason they deny DID
Cos they trying to hide SRA and RA
must be harder, as a good deal don't believe ritual abuse is a thing, because they think it just means one thing
@@brookefederline3109 but things like "how to raise up a child" is not satanic at all
It's because there are too many people sensationlizing the disorder. Making a living off of it.
Another point with Fictives: some systems have a TON of Fictives, and, in our own experience, it could be because watching movies or TV shows or reading books is a coping skill or something that your system finds solace in. If you think you're invalid for having lots of Fictives, you are not invalid in any way. Your brain may find comfort or maybe even protection in the disconnection movies/TV/books provide you and may find that certain characters could help you in some way. Same goes for Factives of actors. You may find something comforting or protective or helpful in an actor you may like, so your brain may create an alter based on that person.
but when it is ONLY from your favorites, it looks sketchy, like it's almost choosing who you want . that is why people are skeptical. and not randomly generated alters, or getting an alter from media that one sees all the time. if someone can have an athletic transwoman alter, and another has "their favorite character alter" which one looks more like they are lieing to be cool? (plus the soulbonding thing) what does the brain need with the non intellectual property? and of course the brain is going to want the favorite. but if it's so random, you would think a person will wind up with a brand mascot, and "why did that happen".
the fact that this had to be said is disappointing
For real. -Wyn
D- Agree. It's been terrifying learning to be out instead of covert. Channels like this make me realize i just gotta be like think what you want i don't care i know what goes on off camera. Our system saved us and the most stress we get is from singlets who try to say we're a mental illness or not real
Wyn! (just finding out your name is written that way)
a Hello from another Wyn!
kind of
(Ƿynn is Wynn, just in old english)
Do I have did if I don’t think of my alters as people, more as personalities? I don’t have much of a change when I which. I’m not diagnosed, but I think I do, am I faking.
@@rossetheduck4872 I also thought that at the beginning. We do change a lot but I'm always aware of the outside world so I thought that I just changed between different personalities. I didn't know our internal communication was internal communication, I didn't know my dissociations were dissociations, etc.
My sister got screwed over by someone who pretented to have a d.i.d. And has seriously suffered because of it. She knew this person for about 10 years and took advantage of her trusting nature and mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused her, using the d.i.d. as an excuse for nearly everything. A few months before their friendship ended, my sister's friend reluctantly admitted that they were faking the disorder. I know there are reasons for that person to have lied so long about something so massive, but how she used that lie to damage my sister... It will take me a long time if ever to forgive them. Yes, I agree that people with mental illnesses (and just people in general) need to be respected and ideally believed, but there are so many fakers out there... And they can affect others in extremely harmful ways. It's so important and sadly nearly impossible to know what is real and what is not. There are many people who suffer this sincerely, and my heart goes out to them. But there are also so many wolves is sheep's clothing. You can't be angry with people who want to know the truth.
Completely Agreed
Thank you. There are some details I keep private and some I choose to share. It is how I am comfortable. I also am sometimes hesitant to share a co-morbid diagnosis I received because I don't want people making judgements about what they think it should be. I didn't get to choose how to survive as a child, but I'm here and I am just glad to be alive
I personally believe that if someone says they have D.I.D., who is anyone to judge? I do believe them. It is developed due to situations in that person's life that was beyond their control. And if a system is good at masking the alters, it is because it was and is very necessary for survival.
I immediately and audibly gasped when I saw your hair. It fits you, your style, and face shape so well. The body looks stunning with this hair!!!
This is such a bad ass video. Important and valuable to put out. So many words I want to use but the spam fold is real yo. 💚
I'm diagnosed with DID but my doctor is threatening to remove it from my diagnoses because
"I wouldn't know I had it"
and because I don't want to tell her my trauma.
I went years without knowing so????
is it possible to get a new doctor? like, YOU are the client, if a doctor's an asshole, there is nothing legally binding you to her
OH MY GOSH YOUR HAIR IS SO WONDERFUL! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! also a question: one of my best friends often has a hard time telling WHOS fronting most of the time for her, do you have any advice for what she can do?
Some kind of wearable alter identification if this is possible for their situation. We have this problem too, but it helped a lot to get those cheap, blank silicone wristbands and have each of our alters pick a different colour. Then when we switch, figuring out who is fronting is easier just by trying to pick which wristband we should be wearing.
Different accessories, like one favorite accessory for each person in the system, like a watch, jewelry, or hats, you can keep a bag around with everybody's accessories in it so when they switch out they can wear their own accessory, individual clothing is also a way to show who is fronting, but it can be a hassle unless one certain person is gonna be trying to front for most of the day.
The Rings System has a good video on alter identifiers (sorry I can't link). They talk about a few different options - one is hair clips. Not necessarily in your hair, they wear them on their t-shirt. You can get them pretty cheap online and have a different colour/pattern each.
I can’t get over how good that haircut looks on you
New subscriber to your channel. Been binging the past few days. Love the new hair! Love this channel and the dedication yous bring to awareness of DID. Was diagnosed in 1995. Bad time to even try to find a community. This very topic was so terrible back then. Especially with the "False Memory Syndrome" crowd screaming "fakers and frauds" constantly. We went underground. Quit everything (therapy, doctors, meds, anything and everything to do with getting help for us). It's only been a 1.5 years (July 2018) that we searched out therapy again. And, oh my! It's such a relief. Watching your channel and a couple others has given us hope that we can be in the outside world without so much incredible hate being spewed at us. TYVM for the hard work yous put in to helping everyone with DID/OSDD feel wanted, welcomed, loved, validated. -B
Yeah, I got called out for faking because I didnt meet the right age group (7 and up). Trauma can happen at different ages! Mine sadly started at age six and the voice in my head said they could help me and take the pain away. Being a kid, I thought it was an imaginary friend. Boom, here I am as a multiple. I don't know, it felt like we didnt matter. Until I realized, people suffer from traumatic experiences and deal with it differently and this is mine!
wait, what??? the "right age group" for DID to form is basically under 9. anyone who thinks you have to be older than 7 is very mistaken.
@@stormweaverwitch so you cannot develop did at 13 14 ect? Just curious
@@vanillaa_spice460 it's theorized that OSDD can develop up to age 12ish in some cases, but there's not much research on OSDD. going off of current theories of dissociative trauma disorders, that seems to hold water, but no, DID cannot develop any later than age 9 at the very latest.
@@stormweaverwitch thanks for replying I love learning about did though I don't have did thank you for for telling me much love _vanilla
@Shinnzy's Headspace ah, but 7,8 and 9 can and do?
2:20 Always said “voices”, for the longest time. It was personal to me and fit because it was normal to us for many years, we had no way to properly research what was going on with myself, and the rest of us as a whole. “Voices” was what we all called each other. We didn’t know about alters, or DID, and I cannot understand why some people don’t realize that we don’t always have access to delving into information. :((((
We’ve dealt with this a lot growing up as a system. Especially with our switches. The only way friends caught in highschool was through notes and changes in phrasing, as well as different/abnormal behavior. Our partner caught on early in the first year of our relationship and then later confirmed through the use of psychedelics -safely- and has seen a majority of the system and works hard to show us the same love and respect. We always love your videos because they prove you guys put a lot of thought, time, and love into the topics you address and we absolutely appreciate you guys ❤️ much love from the rose system.
Yes! Thank you! It's taken me about a year to start really opening up to the others in my system, and one reason I was so determined to wear blinders (instead of actually listening and getting to know how things work within) was out of fear and doubt brought on by the whole fake-hunting trend. I felt like I needed to fit into the definition and match all my experiences/symptoms up with other multiples. I had to hear messages like this a few times before I started to calm down and just accept what was happening.
There really is no one right way to be multiple.
I’ve got a friend with DID and they haven’t really shared it with anyone else and they have bad amnesia so they always come to me to ask what they missed so I’m just glad that they all trust me enough to ask what has happened when they were gone
I think I have OSDD-1b (not diagnosed, and can't be, cause therapy is expensive and I can't tell my parents) and one person on a discord server was like "How does your host remember the trauma??? The host isn't s u p p o s e d to remember it. Mine does, but I've been diagnosed and have been researching this for 2 years." and then they asked me about my trauma.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years with someone who straight up told me “I’m creating counterparts on purpose to date your alters” and would act them out. And every time we found out about a new alter that I had, he would ask them their sexuality and their age and name and then immediately create a new counterpart for them. He also told me that my trauma was just a vivid dream. And later he would deny creating counterparts and said that he had DID and that he got it from me or something, and I never once called him fake because I didn’t want to be wrong. But in some situations, like an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s very hard to just back away quietly.
However, I do 100% agree with everything you said in this video, there is no way to tell if someone is faking just by “reading signs” and if I didn’t know him personally and have him specifically admit to me that he made it up, I would never even think that. And even with him saying that, most of the time I still wasn’t sure what to think. Just like with everything else he said.
Calling a system fake is honestly so damaging! The first time we tried to explain what was going on in our head to a counsellor (in an emergency) she immediately said we were faking and said "that sounds like a movie, so I think you're just trying to get attention". For years we thought the symptoms of DID were normal. To this day, talking to our (very good) therapist who helped us understand what was going on is nerve-wracking. It's not just online (even though that is very prominent) that a system can be called fake. Sometimes it's people you think you can trust. Either way, it's so damaging!
Honestly I might have DID? I've had some...shitty childhood. I don't remember my childhood much, but my first memory is being so terrified and not knowing who I was, where I was, and who the woman looking at me so concerned was (btw, that was my mother). I have very fragmented memories of my trauma, then I have what was told to me by my grandma, who got some info out of me when I was little.
I used to have blackouts all the time when I was growing up. Not all the time, but I brushed it off as daydreaming. I had notes taken for school, but I couldn't remember the last several hours of classes.
Other things were like getting ready to shower, then next thing I know, I'm already out and in the middle of drying. It would freak me out, but I've always been told I'm scatter brained and never pay attention to anything (I have ADHD), so again it was brushed off.
Years later I had been living with a very emotionally manipulative ex who stressed me out more than my abusive household had ever in my life thus far. The blackouts hadn't been happening for long periods of time in between until then. When my stress was causing me to disassociate (something that never happened unless I was on the edge of what I could handle) every day, my ex said I was acting different. I didn't understand how. He said I was snappy with him and then started to guilt me, which gave me a headache each time. Sometimes id just sit and listen to his bs, other times I'd be listening, then realize he wasn't talking and look around. I'd either be somewhere else in the apartment, or he'd be gone. Usually an hour or more had passed when I checked the time. I blamed it on stress and me running on autopilot. However, it for progressively....worse? The first actual proof of a switch i had was a night we got some alcohol (but keep in mind, I didn't have more than a sip of a large McDonald's Dr pepper with a little 5% alcohol drink in it). I was getting ready to work on something on my laptop. I worked for a minute, got a sip of my drink, then looked back to the time. /6 hours/ had passed and I had no clue what was happening. There was a little work done, but not much more than I had done.
The next day my ex asked what my problem was. I had no clue what he was talking about. Apparently in my missing time, he got a call from his dad. His uncle had died that night and his parents were calling from the hospital over in Cali where he's from. He said I heard this on the speaker call, and chuckled. He said I said "people are like goldfish, ya know? They die all the time and you get the fuck over it". I immediately didn't believe him. I didn't remember a phone call from last night. I surely should have remembered saying that. I would never have said that anyways, but his dad called later that day. He told me to be quiet and listen. He had it on speaker. He apologized to his dad about what I said, that I was having a bad night or something and didn't mean it. His dad was really mad and said he wasn't accepting any apology from anyone but me, because I was so rude and inconsiderate towards their family when his uncle has just passed.
It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks.
I immediately worried I was having a breakdown. Or something. From then on, I was having more and more blackouts. More when I was stressed or upset, less when I was able to relax and keep myself calm.
The moment I was trying to take a nap and I heard someone say something to me in a voice that /wasn't/ my head voice, I was seriously concerned. I was trying to joke my worries away as I was laying down. I thought something along the lines of. "I have a angry alter ego or something, probably. Ha. I'll name him Jared or some other asshole name" and when I finished that thought, my head was filled with a strong, deep voice saying "my fucking name is Devin" or something along those lines. I didn't sleep all night because it scared me so bad.
After my ex and I broke up and I met my current partner, my blackouts were still happening, but starting to slow in frequency. I'd still occasionally hear something from the voice calling itself Devin when I was having bad disassociation days. Now, I don't hear anything or feel any emotions that I know aren't mine unless I'm stressed to the point of no return. Then I either have a blackout, or I feel like I'm watching my body moving around from the back of my head. I know that's just disassociating, but it feels like /someone else/ is in the driver's seat. Its not as scary anymore, but it's still unnerving when it happens.
I tried finding groups for DID, but I was well...talked kinda badly to. Like mentioned in this video, they took what they thought I should be like and said I was faking, then kicked me from their group.
I have a lot of self doubt in general because I've been sickly my whole life, but always told I'm faking everything I feel(I'm pregnant and I was so scared I might be unknowingly faking my symptoms that I took four home tests, all positive, worries I was still faking somehow, and got a test at the Dr office) so you can imagine how that really fucked with my thoughts about what I'm feeling and experiencing.
Sorry for the rant. The video dug up some bad feelings and I wanted to just tell someone, anyone really.
Edit: some spelling mistakes
This is SO old, but well--
if you're still figuring out your disorder, I suggest to keep a journal. Maybe it can help communicate with your alters if you have any, or note down the dissociations
@@troomtroom_simpuwurawrandn8170
I agree! I dissociate a lot but I don’t have DID, I just do sometimes lol, I keep a journal to keep track of time! I can’t grasp the concept of time sometimes.. xC
@@Orchidlettux Interesting! I'm questioning if I have DID as I am dissociating a lot more than usual to the point I feel like someone else at times and have very little awareness as to what's happening
Thank you so much for this video. The “they’re not a real _____ because ____” bullsh*it is so annoying.
PS your new look is lit. ❤️ It suits you hella well and you look really really awesome.
Spike: I just recently surfaced as of a few days ago. Far as I'm aware my host has 10 active alters. It started during the start of this pandemic and when his mom died from Covid. That's actually when the primary alter became active again. There were traumatic events when he was around 5 or 6 years of age revolving around a school that he went to which involved a druggy that he rode the bus with. On top of that, the school didn't treat him well at all. From what I've found out that alter had to switch a ton and just keep him still, ignorant to a lot of what happened. Once he got _out_ of that school then things evened out and the primary alter faded into the background until a year ago. It's been a really rough journey and honestly some of his alters kinda weird me out but I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to it. Keep up the good work.
We recently discovered that we're a system and after talking to our therapist about it and "getting approval", we felt comfortable enough to come out to a few friends about it. There was this one friend who had a relationship with the former host a few years ago and he just went like "but you're EXACTLY THE SAME as in 2013, if there had been a switch I would've noticed, ..." We told him to please stop trying to invalidate our experience (also, even our new host has changed since becoming host, there's no way we're "exactly the same"). Now he made the decision to leave, since we opened up about our former host still being incredibly angry with him for that one thing he did a few years ago that really hurt her and he just went "well, I'll never make amends anyways, so bye".
Luckily that was not our first experience of coming out. So far we've had two really wonderful reactions to coming out. One of our friends even replied with "oh, so that just means that I can now like you multiple times". That was really cute.
I'm absolutely loving the hair!! You guys seem to be doing so well and I'm glad to see it! I've been called a faker my whole life. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I've been called lazy and unmotivated my whole life. Its baffling to me the information people think they're entitled to!
Do they think you just want to be tired all the time? Wth? I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. -Wyn
Thank you, this really needed to be put out there.
This was a great video! I'm relatively new to the community (and being aware of what's probably happening in my head and all that). Symptoms might not be cookie-cutter, but neither are experiences that led to them. Thanks for the reminder that everyone's story and system expression is unique, even with similar themes. As an aside, that haircut rocks! Reminds me I'm due for a cut myself. Lol.
-Kate (from an as-yet undiagnosed OSDD-1b (probably) system)
So obsessed with your hair!!! 😍 I’m very early in my journey and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your channel. You’ve saved me and my mental health more than once. Thank you!
Thank you, Kit, for this!! 💙 went through so many emotions watching this, smiled, confused, cried, happy and even angry! You have a way of speaking to me! Defiantly Helped me feel ALOT more real and valid ox - Beth(long term host)
I totally agree with everything you said, just want to add that even if someone is faking any kind of mental disorder it is not ok to call them out and invalidate them, because there's a reason to be doing that and you don't know what's going on in their life or what they've been through that they feel the need to pretend to have a disorder.
Mental health is not black and white, it is a spectrum, every experience is unique and valid.
Hugs (if allowed) from Chile.
I've been too busy convincing myself that I'm faking it, not that I've exactly been running around advertising it. I've spent my life writing all of this off as my "over active imagination" so as I'm having symptoms, I just assume it's my broken ol' brain just doin' it's thing. Then a few seconds after the symptoms are gone, I've either forgotten it's happened or I think to myself, "There is no way X or Y happened, you're imagining it."
The simple answer would be to go to therapy but I'm not having fun finding therapists that I'm covered for by my insurance who happen to be taking clients.
So I'm just kind of in a downward spiral of self doubt. I'll be well and convinced that it's not possible and then something will happen and rinse and repeat :/
There are things that are way easier to fake if someone wants attention or is trying to get out of something. Also, love the new cut!
Now I don't have DID nor am I a system, I just have depersonalization and derealization disorder, but I wish to understand DID and other dissociative disorders better. I do agree, while it has always been a phenomenon where people fake physical and mental illnesses, no one owes anyone an explanation and no one is entitled to anyone's diagnoses and medical records. Not to mention, these are MENTAL disorders, so you can't see what they're going through in their minds, so dissociative disorders are really hard to tell, and like you said, impossoble, and most if not all of the time, you are the only one who can tell when your mind is dissociating. And even so, just because someone is not diagnosed with something doesn't mean they don't have it. Some people don't have access to these or don't have a good support system to encourage them to get help either. You truly don't know what anyone is going through.
oh my god why am I getting SU Pearl vibes
You too???
It's also worth noting that getting a formal diagnosis can kill a number of career paths... like ours, for example. The moment there's a official documentation of there being more than one of us in sharing the meatsuit, we'll lose our medical card and therefore our license. So going to the VA, booking an appointment with a shrink, and straight up saying "hey, there's more than one person up in this bitch" is completely and totally off the table because even *if* we were received well (and that's a HUGE if, ESPECIALLY on vet benefits), we'd lose our livelihood and our ability to survive. Really does ultimately come down to a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't
"Some people who don't know they're part of a system, that aren't aware that they have DID" I think about this so much. What if that's me, what if I am an alter in someone else's body and my whole life is the product of someone else's brain?
Omgggg alters being similar. I actually was thinking about that within my own system recently. We have a few very heavily goth badass females in our system. But they all do have their own version of goth style and such. But I was recently thinking "why do we have so many gothic females in our system?"
Then remembered we grew up with characters we loved such as The Hex Girls from Scooby Doo, Raven from Teen Titans, Sam from Danny Phantom, Shego from Kim Possible, Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family (we actually have an alter that has the same style as her), Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice, Abby from NCIS, Tiffany from the Chucky movies, Gwen from Total Drama Island, etc
So... it only makes sense that we were bound to have a few alters based after them whether it was full fictive or taking some aspects such as style.
I guess I really feel dou on this one. In my country people just assume people with ADHD just have lazy parents who cant raise their kids with enough discipline. So I never tell anyone, cause i am so sick of people telling me, an adult who has had a challenging life because of adhd her entire lifetime, that I am just imagining it.or they think they know the symptoms even though they dont even know what adhd stands for and then have the guts to tell me i cant have it, cause i don't even "show typical symptoms"
I LOVED this video!!! I was sitting in my seat going, "PREACH IT PREACH IT!!" I admire your courage speaking out about this! As a system I HATE IT when people ask me if there's a way I can tell if someone is 'faking' and I despise that question. My usual response has been, "No, there's no way I can tell their faking it, but why would someone want to fake this? Doesn't make sense." I do try to shut this type of talk down as fast as possible when it has come up. Again, thanks for the incredible message!! Hugs if ok (Daxx - Encrypted Angels System)
I feel bad about it, but when I was a teen I pretended to have alters. Looking back on it now I recognise I was trying to process emotions or dissociating and was linked to my (at the time) undiagnosed ASD, and it was especially a crutch to help me feel safer when stressed. What I really learnt from it though, was that my friends were deeply supportive of me no matter how strange I was. I'm really glad they supported me through everything, and now I endeavour to learn as much as I can about disorders so can understand everybody's situations and help them too.
I’m glad you had the love and support you needed to find out what was going on. Thank you for taking your experience and paying it forward. -Wyn
I only just found this channel and this video.... and I feel so validated and respected.
I've just gone through an emotional stabbing from a friend of 5 years. From the moment we met and connected as best friends, I reached out and said "hey look... these people exist in my head" and as a writer, a lot of them are similar to my character or I've based characters off of them. And y'know... for years it's I've been like "okay yeah. These people exist, it's normal. I have a tight friend group of people going through the same thing" but it only just recently hit me fully that "oh shit. This is actually actual." And it turns out I've had one of my alters for a LOT longer than I realised. And so I excite at this friend of 5 years... and they're like "wait really!?" Pause... pause... "now I just feel really bad about the whole -insert name of "alter"- thing"..... they pretended to believe me and then made up alters and aftet 5 years admitted to me that they were faking.... now many of my alters are badly damaged because they had built relationships with these people that don't actually exist...
We're working through it... but this has helped us in many ways, so thank you.
People should never diagnose anyone with anything or not believe their experience if it differs from theirs! I get accused of faking my cptsd; it's so discounting. It's why I share it with no one.
I hope you find people who you can talk to about your experience/diagnosis/trauma (if you want to talk about it). I've had people tell me that I don't/can't have ptsd plenty of times and it absolutely sucks - but when you find people who not only believe you but understand and want to be there for you, it's pretty great. It definitely takes time and not everyone is going to react well, but I do think it's worth continuing to try.
My switching video kinda went "viral"?? And I got a lot of hate lmao so this is very reassuring
Thank you for another amazing video. When we first told someone (Mom) that we were hearing voices in our head(the body was 5 or 6 yrs old)and we were told to keep quiet about it or "we would get locked up in head jail".Then later when we learned about computers,we tried to interact with the MPD/DID communities of the time because we felt so lonely and misunderstood( only a few back in the 90's;early 2000s)and we was told that we were fakes and liars because we were born with MPD/DID. We felt invalidated and didnt feel that we belonged anywhere and it took a very long time before we opened up to anyone( Single ID or Multi ID).We have learned to forgive those people in the multichats back then ( nobody knew about birth trauma, cptsd,and that infants could be in danger of getting DID/MPD until much later). All Systems are Valid though different from one another.Love from Maine USA
Somebody recently came to me wanting to discuss that they feel I may have DID. And I can't lie I nearly laughed in there face. I hate the idea of self diagnosing and it sounded so ridiculous. From all that I know is I have what I always described as mood swings involved with my dissociative episodes and inconsistent periods of heavy or light amnesia. I do have a heavy history of all kinds of abuse from the time I was a toddler. I've been told I react differently to issues in these "moods" in different ways. Different mindsets and different idealogies. Personally? I still don't believe it. I do struggle with identity and sometimes I feel this (swings?) Are not who I am and they scare me. But I don't believe it's DID. until I can get to my psychiatrist I am doing as much research as possible to figure things out and educate myself.
i am part of an osdd system and i think its so horrible how people, especially people without dissocative disorders, are so obsessed with trying to call people fake and give “reasons” why like i saw a video a while ago saying that having coloured hair is a reason of faking like im sorry what?.. i think a good example of this is the way people treated the wonderland system on tiktok
THAT HAIR LOOKS SO CUTE ON YOU
I'm sorry but I can't get over how much I love this style on the body
THE FIRST ONE IS SOOO important!!! For me I haven’t adapted to calling each one of them alters yet. It feels weird to call them alters as it makes me feel a little more sane to refer to them as personalities rather than An alter, because referring to them as such has a connotation of being alternate versions of myself. And as true and accurate as that is to the diagnosis it is still very unsettling to process that and referring to them as personalities helps me deal with the fact that within myself, there is something separate from myself. I love this video for clarifying this because what a person refers to the alters as or how they switch has nothing to do with the realness of the disorder. It has to do with how you had to adapt to whatever trauma and unique situations surrounding each person. There is a general diagnosis but there is not one set way for DID to exist. Even as someone with OSDD I have found these videos so enlightening and helpful to me since the beginning of my journey into figuring out what this diagnosis meant to me and how it affected me. 🖤🖤🖤 keep it up!!!
Uggghhhh... why i'll never go into psychology:
8 billion people, 8 billion different minds. Nothing will be the same twice. I like order
8 billion people- wait, there are more! (Coughs* systems exist* cough)
Thank you for advocating for mental illness and DID in particular. It means so much that you put a voice out there for us systems and making us feel valid. Love you all so much! -The Faithful System
I know you heard it loads of times by now but LOVE THE HAIRCUT!
Here's our take....think that more systems are coming out because they see others thriving and coming out and now everyone thinks it's a attention grab. I'm (host) are most def still not open to my family, only like 3 people know and we are even close to opening up to those that are closest to us. We have a spouse that has been with us for almost 5 years now.... slowly trying to introduce him what DID is because of media and other stuff....I struggled for a long f-ing time to accept my reality. He does notice when certain alters are fronting but he just goes quiet. Which makes them uncomfortable and I, end up just making the body sleep for almost 20 hours a day so I can just stay where I am without any noise from the outside.....
Other than RUclips, deleted all other social media because it was becoming obvious that it wasn't just me (host) posting...and the family kept making a scene about it because of past addiction struggles. We have been clean for over five years. Ok, this is longer than wanted so pressing send.🤬🌬️💕💞💖
I had a person with DID tell me that I couldn't possibly have DID and must "only" have OSDD because none of my alters cause a lot of trouble in my life
Hells yessss! We love this video! Also off topic, but my system and I love looking at your shelves! We noticed immediately it was different from the usually and started this full blown head space convo about hey there's that one thing I like or omg they like the same stuff we do 😂
You should check out our bookshelf tour video! :D -Wyn
I’m so glad to see this video. I see a lot of people on RUclips comments about DID that are very very vicious. I think you brought up very valid points! :)
Also your new hairstyle is lovely and looks wonderful on you
Thank you! DID/OSDD is so varied and we as a community needs to be supportive of each other and the experiences we have. If someone admits they were faking then that is different but we should lovingly embrace all.
Y’all got a haircut and it’s so good omg also your swEater!!! 10/10
There needs to be more support with the DID community. Yeah, there's more and more cases. But that's because more people are able to be diagnosed. Also, there's really not THAT many people with DID. But with the access of the internet we're all able to communicate with other systems easier than in the past. All of us in this community need to stick together and stop this witchhunt cause it's way more damaging and causes so much drama that we don't need. Let's become a more supporting community than a hateful one. This video was so wonderful and well put together.
Thank you from everyone in my system
I can't imagine why anyone is judging you folks. I have many friends who have DID. They are wonderful people, not dangerous, not weird. It's not rare. I'm sorry you've had weird, nasty comments to deal with.
Karen Heilborn there are some RA survivors who have/had dangerous alters. My partners system had one and she’s now a protector. But I was afraid of her at first.
Yes, but the chances of any alter being violent and dangerous is the same chance of any other person in society being violent and dangerous, with a disorder or not. So it doesn't mean that every person with DID will be violent or dangerous, and it also doesn't mean that no·one with DID will be violent or dangerous, it depends on the person (alter), just like it depends on any other person, how many violent and dangerous un·disorder·ed people you've heard of? People who commit hate crimes, passionate crimes, toxic masculinity, misogeny, homophobia...
I’ve been following the DissociaDID system for a while now. I’m glad you guys popped up on my suggested videos. Thank you for the video. It’s nice to get another opinion & explanation of this disorder. I don’t have DID, I do find it interesting & am curious to know more.
Our best friend of 12 years called us a freak and a child of Satan.
She is heavily Christian so we knew the risks. That didn’t make it hurt any less
I think there are a lot of people who do Malinger. I've seen it at work ,as a live in 24/7 P/A.I dont think its particular to DID,what I see is people that are malingeres .Tend to pick disorders and illness that is either a difficult diagnosis or something that has a popular image (there are trends throughout medical history ).I had one client who owned 6 wheelchairs, had her house fitted with lifts everything,.I was told in no uncertain terms ,she couldn't walk or even sit up for more than 30 seconds , or she would die.After my 2 and week of live in ,I thpught someone was breaking in the house at night .She was walking down a long stair flight to go to the downstairs kitchen to get extra food .I had a heart attack ,I turned the light on and there she was walking around .If ypu pick a complex diagnosis it's easier to fake .
A nurse told me “if you can remember anything your alters do then you dont have DID” and it felt really bad and i later found out from a trauma specialist that its not true and i have just achieved “co-consciousness”
This video is so very well done: eloquent, passionate, well-organized, authoritative. Thank you very much for it. I really appreciate what y'all are doing with your channel!
I realize that now is a hard time for the DID-RUclipsr community, but I want to go on now from having offered compliments to raise a concern. Thankfully, M&M's 360 video came up in my recommendations several weeks ago--probably because of all the current controversy--and I've been binging on this material ever since. So I'm just getting to know your system. What I want to say is that I react negatively to Lito each time he appears, not because of reasons currently hot on RUclips but instead because he feels inauthentic/insincere to me (for reasons I won't specify here). If Lito was a single, I think I would find him inauthentic/insincere and would distance myself from him accordingly; but because he appears as part of a system, he causes me to doubt the reality of the system as a whole--despite the seeming authenticity/sincerity of other members of the system. (I'm just being honest here; I'm not trying to attack you or DID.) As I don't have DID myself and have been learning about it for only several years, I don't really know what to do with this, but I'm currently trying to think of Lito as just one inauthentic (I don't say fake) member of a system populated by authentic alters, and I'm trying to understand him on the model of inauthentic singles I've encountered.
One more thing: It seems relevant to point out here that most people (autistics excepted) develop a somewhat reliable sense for authenticity/sincerity over the course of their lives and that this sense is particularly important to trauma sufferers who need to determine at a glance whether someone is likely to hurt them or not. (My own traumas have been religious in nature, and I've suffered them in a tradition that demands blind faith above all, so I no longer have a capacity for blind faith.) So though I appreciate and agree that it's hard to spot a faker, I must nevertheless be on the lookout for fakers and certainly have the right and even responsibility to do so. Also, this seems true for all of us.
Anyway, perhaps it's a good idea to develop a more subtle position on the are-they-faking question? I appreciate the position I've encountered over at Multiplicity&Me. Jake has said that he himself has doubts about some systems but keeps them to himself because one can never be sure that someone is faking and he knows first-hand that DID is real. Jess has said that, though she used to get very upset if people doubted the reality of her condition, she has come to respond with patience and understanding.
Also, a video on seemingly inauthentic/insincere alters might be helpful. Though people without DID who are even somewhat skeptical about DID might doubt the reality of an entire system--and perhaps even doubt the reality of DID itself--after encountering a seemingly inauthentic/insincere alter, the better-informed response is perhaps to think of that alter as one inauthentic/insincere member of an overall authentic system while trying to get to know the alter better in an attempt to overcome the first impression.
Lito, I apologize if my comments are hurtful! Perhaps if I knew you better I would react more positively to you. I'll keep watching in anticipation of this.
Important message! Well said
Also loving the hair 👍
This video honestly means so much to me to find. I've been struggling a lot mentally recently, because about a week ago I was diagnosed with DID on top of me already being diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder, and ADHD. During this week I kept having really negative thoughts of, "no this couldn't be real, I'm just making all of this up to make people think I have DID, for attention. I'm faking it. I'm overreacting." All that stuff. This honestly helped me so much to feel valid in everything that I've been feeling and going through, because it explained a lot of things that I had misconceptions about personally from not knowing much about DID yet. So from my bottom of my heart, thank you so much for having this platform to help those that are going through this.