Kirk, thank you so much for this episode. It’s great to see a balanced and educated view of this issue. I’m calling it an issue as a person living with a DID diagnosis who has felt completely exasperated by some of the Tic Toc videos that seem to romanticise this disorder and actually increase misinformation and stigma. My own experience has been extremely different to those commonly portrayed on social media and I appreciate you taking the time to speak up about what it is really like to live with DID. Would a deep dive be possible in the future?
Edited to add a trigger warning for SA. I apologize if anyone reading this since last night was triggered. . . . . And please do not be jealous of us. I have woken up in the middle of sex with strangers that (to me) I had just one second ago told no to. More than once. I don't remember my children being small because the person I was then is hiding. It's not something to want. It isn't "a fun disorder" as someone here called it. That said, fake claiming is more harmful to my community than those faking their way in. The way DID works is that it's there to hide your trauma from you. You aren't supposed to know you have it. Once you accept that you have it, it's completely expected you'll go through feeling like you must be faking, regularly. Other people claiming that DID isn't real, or that someone is faking it, makes it easier for your brain to stop accepting that what's happening is real. It makes it harder to get the help we need. If someone is faking, leave them alone and they'll stop eventually.
Yes this is what I was thinking. The Tumblr depression and anxiety thing made me feel like it was so hard to be taken seriously for extremely deep seeded issues I had, and this is so reminiscent of that. Even though I dealt with my issues for years it wasn't until this last year that I actually got diagnosed with having BPD (I thought it was depression and I was wrong which is why we do not self diagnose) and Panic Disorder. I've started to see videos of people saying they have ADHD but living with my boyfriend who has severe ADHD has made me question a lot of these people's validity. Not saying ADHD isn't experiences differently in different ways, but my boyfriend ADHD really does affect our lives every single day, so it's uncomfortable for me to see it being just... Trivialized? Made like it's a cute little quirky thing? Not to mention how hard it is every single day with both of us having these (I think of them as pretty severe with how much they affect our lives) diagnoses. Like when his ADHD is really bad and it starts stressing me out and I have to fight to control myself from exploding over it. We both have to put in a lot of effort every single day to be able to get through it. It isn't cute or funny or quirky or fun. And it is so bothersome to see that people think of it that way.
Sadly, they already have. Some tiktokers have whole careers based around monetizing ~fun and quirky~ DID videos, with different costumes and dances for each alter.
Adhd is so much more than not being able to sit still and not being able to concentrate.. I really hope people get more educated about mental disorders
i agree!! i think that the embrace of it is good and destigmatizes misconceptions of those disorders (as i also have adhd) but at the same time they bring new stigmas to having those disorders and makes me feel shy about saying I have adhd because of the sheer amount of romanticization and faking of it
I have also noticed people using “dissociate” as a synonym to zoning out, day dreaming, or thinking about something bad. Tik Tok is a place where people spread so much false information about medicine and psychology. I’ve seen so many videos where a person is saying something like, “psychology fact: people with green eyes tend to be more manipulative than people with brown eyes.” So many people take videos like that as true.
@@lulubellpop13 but zoning out is also a very normal occurrence that every person on the planet experiences. I think it’s risky to tell people that their zoning out is really disassociation, which is a serious thing. Self diagnosing is also a super common occurrence on tik tok and is not the best
@@lulubellpop13 There is a difference though between zoning out and dissociation. Like you can zone out and be in your thoughts or not necessarily thinking and it's not a stressful ordeal, and then there's this kind of high-like detached floating through the minutes dissociation that can be an extremely stressful situation. So I can be zoning out during class because I'm bored with the topic, but it isn't like dissociating and not realizing it until I've just punched a dog in the face for surprising me (something I would never do and scared myself by doing).
People think zoning out is dissociating? Damn, wish I had their lives. I do not enjoy the feeling of not being in my own body. The only emotion left being dread. I can't even bother to be sad or anxious about it because I'm just "not there" Or perhaps what I'm feeling is derealization. Either way, it's awful when I come back to myself.
I'm not all about diagnosing strangers, but I think it's very optimistic to think people don't and won't fake disorders in TikTok for attention. Mostly because it's been done before and some people will try to use the inappropriateness of calling someone out for having a fake disorder and run with it because it can't be called out.
I think the point is, you just don’t know and if they aren’t faking and you call them out because you think they are that just isn’t going to help anyone. I think you just shouldn’t watch and interact with them if you think they are faking it for attention so that way they see that behavior is not going to give them the attention they’re seeking if they are faking.
@@NeverShoutNever45454 I kinda agree with this sentiment of ignoring the person I think that if someone is doing it for attention and you suspect that the best cause of action is to just ignore the person unless you know them personally because obviously something else is going on with them if they feel this need for lying for attention esp to this degree
@@Redpandakiwi yea, I think it’s just shallow thinking to say “omg they’re faking it for attention”. Obviously it’s not acceptable behavior, but if they’re faking it there’s a deeper reason for it, like Dr. Honda said.
DID is real but I'm skeptical of teenagers self-diagnosing DID and presenting it as fun and quirky. It's optimistic to say people wouldn't lie about having DID or other medical disorders. Faking the disorder gives them die-hard followers, a unique identity and a sense of community. There is definitely an incentive there for people to fake having 'fun' disorders (whether they are aware they're faking or not). The presentation in a lot tiktoks is very performative also, like having one outfit for each alter, or having a fluid conversation with between two alters, or adopting someone who is trending as a new 'alter'.
Not to mention one of the most popular did tiktok accs basically lives of his "fame". people send him free stuff all the time. there's plenty of incentives to faking
Having a POSSIBLE DID diagnosis has already ruined my confidence severely, knowing that I went through something that was so traumatic im not myself is so uncomfortable and disgusting. It really scares me knowing it could be real but so far, its a bit too far proven. I wish people would stop.
@@KittenKit1 That's another problem with DID fakers: people who actually have it (or might have it) question themselves even more than the already do, and there is MORE stigma for them because people are on high alert for fakers. Whatever you're going through, I hope you're ok and get good help!
I've seen sooooo many 14 yr olds supposedly having DID, when really they're just making OCs, giving them cool names, cool designs, but saying they're "alters" and uh.. (not saying that if you're diagnosed with DID you're faking it but I've seen this instance so much especially with teens which makes me sad because mental illnesses these days are treated as a trend)
Yeah, as soon as someone presents mental illness as fun and quirky, I instantly write them off as faking it. No you don't have to be suffering all the time, but any mental illness is going to cause trouble sometimes. They're never all happiness and rainbows.
I have heard the suggestion when parenting to reframe what we see as “attention-seeking behavior” to see it as “connection-seeking behavior”. The same mindset shift could probably benefit adults as well!
That’s great! It makes so much more sense. When people engage in “attention seeking behavior”, they’re acting in desperation to feel close with someone.
It’s the same thing with people faking ptsd on TikTok. I don’t wish ptsd on anyone, it’s miserable. But when I see people “reacting” to “sounds that will trigger your trauma” I just want them to see what it’s really like to live with the consequences of mental illness. Ptsd is not just flinching at sudden noises. It’s not trusting anyone, it’s night terrors, it’s flashbacks, uncontrollable triggers, not going out for days because you were triggered on the way to the grocery store, not wanting to go to bed because you can’t find sleep anyways. It’s therapy, healing over years, regaining trust and worthiness. It’s about healing from your trauma. Not triggering another panic attack/flashback for attention on TikTok.
There's a “reacting” to “sounds that will trigger your trauma” trend on TikTok? ...wow... As I was reading what you wrote I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible that would be to purposefully play sounds that triggered a trauma reaction from me. It hurts just thinking of putting myself through that and what the consequences would be if I did that. ...Why did that even become a trend? What is the goal? Are people just trying to work on their acting reels or something? I'm flabbergasted. I also want to say that your comment was very well said and your clarifications within it are so important. Thank you for posting this comment. Wishing you all the best!
@@kiyavi Yeah like. I get wanting attention and maybe those people are doing it as a form of self-harm, but why would you purposely do this "challenge" if there's a possibility it could trigger you? In my experience, people with PTSD try to avoid their triggers as much as possible bc it's not a pleasant experience to have to deal with a panic/anxiety attack and flashbacks. Just. It doesn't add up, truly.
I don't get why ppl purposefully trigger themselves for views online, like raising awareness is one thing, but I only do that to myself when I'm in a really bad place and then I regret it immediately, it hurts so much, why would u do that to yourself? 😦
And like...someone with PTSD would never want to trigger themselves, like it's not a fun experience. Sounds, sights, etc. Like some things you just don't want to trigger. Even if say someone does it therapeutically to try and move past it, why would you record yourself and post it for people to see you at a very vulnerable state? Like...in general there are so many people trauma dumping just blasting all this personal stuff on tiktok about being assualted or abused or parents fighting or something I don't think or want to say they're all lying, I mean I can see...how someone might want to share their experiences like okay but, i mean ...I worry to about like other people finding it, like putting such personal stuff out there with your face showing
My bf has DID. He got diagnosed (finally) at 22. His childhood was a living hell. He barely survived. Whilst he had learned important life skills learning about his condition, he would do anything for it to not effect him. It’s not a fun thing. I don’t know how to feel about people using such a traumatic thing as entertainment. But it’s been happening on YT for years too.
Agreed. I don’t think this is some phenomenon on tiktok, creators have been manipulating people with DID for years. I also remember when it was a big thing on youtube…..And btw, I know my words carry very little weight, but I really hope your boyfriend is doing a little better now that he’s diagnosed and I can tell you are so compassionate for him. 🤍
@@noriii Well I imagine it would differ between systems, but for me and my DID partner it means developing individual relationships with each alter (as they feel comfortable or interested in interacting with me). A system does not come as a package deal, and just because you have a relationship with one or several of them does not mean you are dating all of them. Once you get to know them and their individual quirks and interests, it becomes easier to tell who is fronting (unless they're co-con and really mixed, sometimes they will have trouble telling who's fronting 😆) based on body language/facial expressions etc. It's not like dating separate "people", as they share a lot of memories and information with each other even if they weren't actively present (the gatekeeper will filter certain things out for certain alters) or they'll inform each other as needed. It's honestly not unlike how our singleton brains will reconcile conflicting perspectives, like if we should stay home and write that essay or say fuck it and go to a party. If we neglect one in favor of the other all the time, it's gonna cause some problems. The main difference is that these different perspectives are personified and cannot see the big picture on their own, which is why cooperative dynamics within systems are imperative to healthy functioning. As for my personal experience, it has been rich and colorful and beautiful as I get to know all of the unique individuals that make up my partner's system. 💜
To put it in perspective, acting like you have DID or saying you want DID is like saying you want to be s*x trafficked because you're into traveling. There are huge downsides to DID that nobody should imitate or want. Imitation only hurts the victims who actually have DID.
I know what video you’re referencing, and it’s really a perfect analogy. The most important thing to remember about DID, I believe, is that it’s about the trauma, not the alters.
Tbh yes it does hurt me if someone is faking a disorder I have. It's often extremely stigmatizing and promoting misinformation or making a disorder look fun and quirky
So... i have DID and I respect your feelings but also don't feel the same. Mostly, what I'm worried about is how friends and family, ie personal relationships, doctors, nurses, techs, ect. ie care relationships, and finally employers, schools ect ie professional relationships respond to my needs within my disorder. Medical professionals shouldn't be getting their information from random tiktok pages, so someone faking doesn't bother me there. Friends and family, if they have a misunderstanding about how my disorder affects my ability to function, then I can just correct them. The thing thats gebuinely harmful, is fakeclaiming culture. If I bring up DID and my friends and family won't even have a dialog with me because they assume I'm faking and they shouldn't feed that behavior, thats way more harmful than if they got some misinformation from a tiktok. Likewise, if hospital staff feed into that culture then (and I've seen this before not from doctors but certainly from techs) im less likely to be offered help coping when inpatient and instead ignored, dissmissed, and medically neglected. And as far as a professional relationships, if I'm seeking acomodations, such as a consistent schedule instead of shift work that's easier for me to handle with my memory loss, I'd much rather the buisiness not understand the ins and outs of amnesia than assume I'm lazy or attention seeking. In my opinion, its not fakers who harm the community, but the cultural attitude that people should be denied attention and assistance if they are seeking it in unhealthy ways, and fakeclaiming.
Respectfully disagree. As one of those 'tiktok systems' I have in a year of being on tiktok as a system, been fake claimed hundrets of times. And their arguments were always the same as yours. It's not only saying I'm faking a disorder but that I as an indivitual am not REAL. It's saying I made up the people I'm stuck with for the rest of my life. That I made up my trauma and made up my sexual assault. I had to leave tiktok BECAUSE of the mindset you are spreading. And tiktok waa really the only place I could be open about it because in real life, it was not safe.
Like Riley who has 78 alters listed in their notes , one being Ariana grande or storm or fluff who uses (bun/bun self ) pronouns is definitely faking and just having an identity crisis imo
I feel it's kinda sad at least a small number of people who are "apparently" calling for attention "making stuff up" are driven to it because they're ashamed of just having fun roleplaying, because there's so much hate on the internet people who do some stuff for fun get harassed or made fun of, and if you pretend you do stuff like these roleplays because you're "mentally ill" now you have an excuse and you potentially have a bunch of people ready to defend you tooth and nail because they pity you or they feel empathy for your condition
@@LokiLagoon they definitely are, but the amount of tiktoks that I’ve seen floating around that go along the lines of: “1,000 this week” * the next week * “2000” ???
@@theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella yeah but the Luna person was saying "78 alters" is a weirdly large amount of alters (it's large but doesn't mean someone is faking) and that ONE being an introject is too many
For those who has the disorder, I can’t imagine how extremely scary it must be to feel yourself dissapear in order to make space for another person so to speak. And the intense trauma they must have went through to develop this disorder.
As someone with DID, it is terrifying at first. I denied that I had it for months because every time an alter would introduce themselves to me, I would just tell myself that I had an over-active imagination and would immediately forget about it. Eventually, I had to accept it because my little alter, Mouse, kept coming out around people and because she’s 6 she talks like a kid and it’s so embarrassing. Now, I’ve accepted it and while it’s still scary, I have learned about my alters and we trust each other. I know that my alters would never do anything to try to hurt me because we’re all on the same team. In terms of trauma, I actually have no memories of childhood trauma but I can tell that some of my little alters are holding some dark memories that they are keeping from me so there’s probably something there.
another system with DID here! the first time we became system aware it felt very strange and alien, but also somewhat exhilarating because we finally had an explanation for most of our problems. now it feels quite comforting, and switching isnt scary at all. we dont 'disappear to make space' for another person, we share a drivers seat and use switching between conciousness'/alters as a tool to help us survive and live more comfortably- its all in collaboration with eachother! alters arent scary OR the problem, healthy multiplicity is very much a thing, the trauma that got us to this point is the scary part. though switching and the dissociation between switches can be pretty disorientating 🤢 we've def bumped our head a few times cause we weren't paying attention during a switch lol
And.... another DID system. Hi I'm Tonya/Host Shattered Bones System. A scary part for me is getting in the car fully aware and feeling grounded.... then, fronting or (becoming conscious) in a unfamiliar Town far away from my home or place I intended to go. This typically happens on my wAy to see my Psychologist. He said "A part" of me doesn't want me to work with him or get better. 😓 It is incredibly unnerving and frustrating. Fortunately, my Son drives me to my appointments for now.
Thank you for having such a compassionate response. It was terrifying when I first became aware of it. I was (still am) the host, I had no idea I had a dissociative disorder, and when I figured it out and was professionally diagnosed, I was just becoming an adult. It was so scary, it still can be scary sometimes even though we've been in treatment for it and our traumas for a while now. But for the most part, when we aren't in horrible flashbacks or freaking out about something, we all try our best to work together, and I have close friendships with many of the others in the system now. There can be some beauty in it, despite all the pain. It isn't a fun disorder, but we're creating love and peace and safety we weren't given in our childhood as a team.
Hey, yet another system! We are the Alphabet System and I (Mo) am a gatekeeper. Our host at the time was so frightened when they first researched about DID. At the time, they had thought that the other alters were their imagination and that they were maladaptive daydreaming. After a while, doing more research and talking with other alters, we found ways to survive. After a suicide attempt, Jay (host) realised we weren't here to harm them/others (due to stigma) but here to protect. Now, in therapy, we have started talking about our different traumas and triggers. Jay had thought there was only one trauma (that began while we were 9) but there are actually 8 traumas all together (beginning at the earliest of 3). *idk if I include attempts with traumas* but those 8 are traumas caused by a different person. It does get tricky time to time with headaches, disorientation, regular dissociative/depersonalization/derealization symptoms, and also stigma. We are on tiktok, working on ways to introduce all the alters and ways to de-stigmatize our disorder(s). We try to include humor as a way to draw people in so they can understand. I try to educate others anyway I can. We have yet learn how to communicate, but we are doing well. I hope you are well also
I think that the people who are faking it aren't faking the miserable parts. The people who fake it are in control so they don't have to worry about randomly switching altars or suffering from disassociation and nausea. Some people just want/need attention and DID is a hot topic right now so it's a relatively easy way to get attention, even if it's negative. Plus some people digitally self harm and gat something from the negative attention
@Funny Username i mean I dont imagine that would be pleasant but people who fake did act like it's all some rp going on in their head and not the trauma response it's meant to be. Or even confusing it w schizophrenia basically
I agree! I'm Mo, a gatekeeper for the Alphabet System. While on social media, you mainly wanna share the good parts, trying to not stigmatize. Since we are on social media, and having persecutors, we try to share how persecutors aren't always bad. What we don't share is the fact that just last night, a persecutor was stressing an alter out so much that the alter almost ripped off a nail (that was attached to our nail bed) due to derealization/stress. We tell our friends who know about our disorder (one actually brought the disorder to our attention) saying how much we hate having alters. We've sobbed on the bathroom floor due to relapsing because someone didn't care about the repercussions of self harm. We have persecutors who have controlled our dreams and made us have recurring nightmares, weeks in a row. And the switching, omfg. Littles being triggered at yelling. Protectors getting triggered through littles fronting. It's so hard to get new friends because a majority don't like them or they give off bad vibes (we've had an ex sexualise one of our littles who is 5). And we wish we could control our disorder. We wish that we didn't have it. We wish we didn't have trauma. We wish we didn't have littles or persecutors or protectors or hosts, we just wish we were alone. Alone in the head and alone in the world. I hope you are well
I kinda side eye the trend of intentionally trigger an alter trauma or forcing other alter to fronting. Sometime i feel awful bc it's not many concrete information about this disorder yet and still come with so many stigma around it.
@@SpecialBlanket Are you officially diagnosed? You're not supposed to be able to "talk" with alters afaik. I mean, that would be schizophrenia, not DID
During my childhood, around the time the movie Sybil released, my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Definitely traumatizing and disturbing to witness the constant switching from one personality to another (female to male, adult to child), seeing the self-harm/cutting and suicide attempts, and other horrific behaviors that a child should never be exposed to.
I don’t have DID, but I do dissociate under certain stressors, I know I’m me and I know my reality, but the world doesn’t feel real and my body feels strange, emotionless, it’s incredibly scary and not fun
that's is scary indeed. Same here, and the most terrifying thing for me was to do don't remembering the things I did or didn't do that could really hurt people by causing an accident or so. Hope you are getting the support you deserve!!!!
I dissociate sometimes when I either have to many panic attacs or very intense ones. I kind of like it to be honest. It gets me out of the situation immediately and it feels surreal, e.g. like a robot in autopilot mode or like the matrix or simply a dream. At the end I sometimes worry that I won't be able to get out of it though.
Dissociating was a scary thing for me especially before I was given the word for it, like I had heard of dissociation but I didn't realize that was the thing that I had been experiencing. It's only really with intense stress for me, but it can be different for me each time, which I guess is part of why I had a hard time being able to say what it is (it was actually a therapist of mine who explained to me that that was what my experiences were). Sometimes it can just be me feeling my body being slightly different from where it actually is (I still don't know how to explain this one in the best words but someday I'll figure it out) and sometimes it's like this detached high feeling with like no emotions or anything just like floating and existing there but not necessarily being present.
As a psych nurse we do not commonly see DID, we do see a lot more teenagers claiming it. It seems more it is claimed by those with borderline patients. I wish that people wouldn’t fake any mental health issues because it is a very serious thing many people have to go through.
Yeah, I think BPD is unfortunately more common than diagnosed. I've seen a few people in my life presenting traits of it by the books, but only one of them was diagnosed, and that was after several misdiagnosis of depression, bipolar, PTSD, etc.
It makes sense that BPD patients do that because of the identity disturbance aspect of BPD. I know autism is also occasionally self-diagnosed among those with BPD too.
I have bpd and I do dissociate, this is why I would never fake did. In general, i would never fake any other mental illness. I think it's just morally incorrect and I'm ashamed to hear that so many others do so... bpd is so painful already idk how people could fake did, knowing their pain is even worse. Way worse.
BPD looks like multiple personalities, or how most lay people would assume those of us with DID present. Having covert DID, I will switch if I'm triggered, but nearly 100 percent of the time that's to maintain an appearance of calm. The more upset I am, the calmer I seem.
I see this with BPD as well. People don’t understand that you need to have SEVERE REPEATED ABUSE. Your parents grounding you for doing dr*gs or other sh*t isn’t abuse or trauma likeee
small correction: it doesnt have to be abuse, just any kind of trauma. having your house burn down, witnessing deaths, war, natural disasters etc all contribute
Though I don't agree with your statement (because sometimes it's how you are programmed)... It's disappointing when someone's faking it. How do we trust people anymore?
@@majortom4711 yes that is trauma. i dont think we talk enough about how mental illness itself can generate trauma. and this applies to both other people being mentally ill and yourself being mentally ill
I do think among teens, there is actually a positive aspect to faking DID, which is attention. There is very little social cost because they are still at home so don't have to worry about economic impact and social stigma stigma is already present no matter what teens do. So I could see faking DID being rare among adults, but more common among teens.
I remember a girl from my freshman year of college. She was desperate for attention. She would pretend to have DID with an alter that was a british man and have small seizures/moments of passing out (conveniently only when she had all her friends with her and was not in class or outside.) It was really difficult to watch knowing she felt she had to basically put on this performance everyday just to feel attention or like she was special.
@@KennyChesty She could be faking but those seizures you describe are a symptom of functional neurological disorder which is a real disorder that is very common with people with DID and gets worse under observation. I’m just saying that her symptoms line up with what we would expect from a genuine presentation.
My ex was an attention seeker and thought he had DID (but it wasn't like DID at all). He would call himself "we" and acted like he had a board of people in his head giving him input on everything and sometimes they would come out. When we fought, occasionally I he would slip into this super mean personality with a bit of an accent? I think german??? I absolutely hated it. I still cringe thinking about the look on his face and the voice. Bleh
@@hazeld8016 They were nothing like seizures but that is what she called them. I saw her most of the day since we had many of the same classes. They always happened at convenient times and magically ended exactly when her friends moved on from talking about it. There was so much more to it than just that which really made it clear that it was for attention but I still feel for her. She had a lot of issues stemming from her being adopted into a family with many biological children, although she never admitted it. I didn't stay connected with her but I hope she's doing okay now.
26:24 "no one would want to fake that, no one would want to have that much misery in their life" I think the misery comes from actually having the mental illness
I think there's confusion because for most of the video he's responding to this person concluding that *every single person said to have DID is either faking or brainwashed by a therapist* - debunking that. We're waiting for his take on the tiktok kids' shenanigans, and he does eventually briefly address it and say some seem to be faking, but that's obviously not the part he's very interested in. Understandable priority but could've been clearer.
@@Suzanne4415 Yes! I agree with this so much. The person who requested for him to do this had a lot of malice in their message towards DID and was heavily implying that the disorder as a whole doesn't exist. I feel like he did the right thing by prioritizing debunking their malice but he could have been more clear that he was doing that. Tiktok has done a lot of hard for the DID community and although Im not a system I've seen the effects of it through my girlfriend, ad its made it harder for her to make friends who also have DID who aren't carrying toxic delusions of inner world connectivity and other ideas that are meant to pull systems further out of reality and overall fuck them up in the head entirely. It doesn't help that people without the disorder see these things and believe that that's all DID therefore the disorder is fake.
@@SpecialBlanket my girlfriend knew some people who believed their inner worlds were connected and their alters could visit each other. She had gotten her first covid vaccine around that time too so it really fucked with her and its overall a toxic mindset that really messed the system up for a moment. Apparently that shit was popularized by tiktok.
@@phoenixreinle9398 the odd part of my system is at times we are able to see my friends system, I have one alter who is able to see different alters that aren’t part of my system and I don’t know how? I do In a way but it was hard to grasp around. I had to ask this other system if the same happened to his system and surprisingly it also happened to him. That alter talks often to my boyfriend of different alters he’s seen in different systems (only irls that I know of)
I believe that the disorder exists, but an abusive ex faked having DID and used it to manipulate me. I’m suspicious of anyone who claims to have the disorder because of this.
This^ Plus, faking it causes problems for people who actually have it. It creates myths and stigmas, many of which makes people with DID look evil or bizarre. It makes people think ALL DID is fake or even that all mental illness is fake.
Listen... anyone who has DID has been in Trauma Therapy for a very long time. It took my Trauma Team nearly 10 years to correctly Diagnosis me with DID. Toxic People use a Fake Diagnosis to excuse their Shitty Behavior. I assure you I am responsible for everything I say and do even if I am not Conscious of it. You see most of us with DID have been through so much Trauma we would never think about hurting anyone. And I am Still in Trauma Therapy weekly. In the future do not believe people who are not Actively in Therapy. And do not excuse bad behavior...I don't care what their Diagnosis is.
A lot of people's negative opinion on the existence of DID comes from its prevalence on social media where faking disorders is extremely common, to which its understandable to be skeptical. I blame those people more than the skeptics. Edit: this has been going on for much longer than the emergence of tiktok. And I find it odd that he turns it around on people calling this out rather than the people actually faking.
its also because of the movie Sybil. It was literally all based on a lie yet that movie led to an insane spike in people being diagnosed with DID. like, if the recent movie Split had the same impact people would be suspicious. not to mention all the times its been found out that a quack therapist was actually pushing the diagnosis on people who don't have it
I agree, I have seen this trend online at least since 2010. And with not just DID, other disorders too. On Tumblr, there used to be a whole community of people who collected self-dxed diagnoses on their bio as some type of badges of honor in their pain olympics. Most were teenagers who probably grew out of it, but alarmingly many adults were there as well. I, too find it weird and honestly somewhat aggravating that he turns it on people calling this behavior out rather than the people actually faking/glorifying these disorders. Yes, obviously there is something wrong with a person who is willing to fake something like this. But that does not at all make the faking harmless. Also, the people calling these actions out are never the ones saying that DID is ''fun and quirky'' - quite the opposite. It is EXACTLY BECAUSE they are not fun or quirky that faking them for attention is so bad. I had a hard time being diagnosed with another disorder as my doctor was somewhat aware of this trend and had to make sure I was not one of those.
Yeah I totally agree. Because of all the misinformation from social media, movies, tv shows, ect. a lot of people don't even believe this entire, painful disorder exists. Although, I do think people should be more responsible and do their own research when it comes to important medical topics like this.
I don't think people faking on socials is really the problem, especially when there's no actual way to tell besides them making you feel weird. The problem that we should be squashing is not people trying to talk about an experience but egotistical people who decided that the end all be all of reality is whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. The culture of fakeclaiming is what's stigmatizing, and we're feeding into our own stigmatization if we canabalize our community.
@@wren4741 yeah, I definitely remember that happening to the trans community a few years back, and I can see patterns repeating in this one, but I just hope it's different. It seems like it to me, but claims of fakers in the trans community may have been legitimate in the beginning too, until we became overly exclusive and policing every gendered behavior a person has. I think the main reason this guy is more concerned about fake claiming is because fakers might be an issue online, but fake claimers are way more prevelent in real life. You might have witnessed someone you know faking, or see people online doing it, and think you have to proper judgement now, and end up calling people close to you fakers when they actually have an illness. It happens to a lot of people unfortunately. Like my mom gets all of her knowledge of mental Illness from movies, and crazy people on the street that she had to deal with, so now that I have it, she doesn't believe me, and when I was at really bad points and got a bit unstable, she was more prepared to hurt me than help me. And that's exactly what happened.
I think part of the reason why people become so angry when they accuse people of faking DID is because of the trauma and suffering DID patients went through to get their conditions and the ongoing trauma they are going through. Like, DID isnt just “OMG SHERLOCK HOLMES IS MY ALTER YALL!!” But like the alters are made and truly take away from a person’s life as a result of many years of abuse from an early age. DID is really a tragic disorder when you really think about it and teenagers making it into something “QuIrKy aNd TrEnDy” is honestly super insulting to DID patients pain. This doesn’t excuse bullying a child, but it does need to be called out. Like I’m not accusing any specific person of faking, but if anyone is faking, they really need to think about it and stop. Like if you want to make TikToks about your favorite characters and play pretend that way, cool! Just don’t drag mental illness into it.
Because the dreamsmp system who never discussed it before it became a trend, draws out their headspace and developes 200+ alters and claims you don’t need trauma to have DID is definitely real and valid
I mean.. you might not need trauma to have DID but you'd need to be so bored and nothing to do that it basically becomes traumatic... I think that's just called a 'psychological break' though
@@spongmongler6760 part of the criteria for developing D.I.D. is on-going childhood trauma before the ages of 5-7. So, no you can't have D.I.D. without trauma.
@@spongmongler6760 You need childhood trauma to develop D.I.D. I'm also pretty sure psychotic breaks are caused by mental disorders, not the other way around.
16:40 It definitely feels harmful if I don't want to tell people about my disabilities because they might group me in with the kids on tiktok saying certain music is diagnosing them with ADHD, ASD, and the like.
UGH omg that shit is so annoying. I am diagnosed with both autism and ADHD, and as a classically trained pianist I do not understand what the deal is with those videos. 😂
Indeed, that subculture is on RUclips aswell, its related to the alot of the playlists build containing music that is supposedly meant to convey what its like to live with the different disorders. These playlists are often tied to life events aswell, such as the traumacore communities. I can't quite grasp if these are unhealthly gloryfying mental illness or helping, but in my case. I feel like alot of the playlists actually help. I have autism, tourettes, anxiety, depression and i have endured alot of bad things througout my life, i also have almost all of the symptoms of DP/DR but don't have that diagnosed. Alot of the playlists contain music that i find relaxing or to know that somone made the playlists as an attempt to cope along with others is kind of relieving, the comment sections are filled with people like me who suffer as a result of thier disabilities, if they actually have them that is. Which diagnoses do you have?
I told my boss and my coworkers that I had "multiple personality disorder", because I was trained to report fluctuations or concerns with my mental status, especially if they affect my job performance. After that I didn't mention it. Sometimes they have to retrain me.
The reason people have a visceral reaction to suspected fakers is not an enigma. Faking mental illness, faking Nurodivergence, faking disorders does real harm to the people who have them. It shapes public perception from an ill informed perspective leaning on tropes and stereotypes which will discourage people from seeking treatment and make the community have to yell 10 times louder just to have their genuine story heard over the fake noise. Self advocacy is already hard enough for people who are struggling day to day, they don’t need bored kids with overactive imaginations making their public image worse than the stigmatic perception that is currently prevalent in today’s society.
“Why am I so worked up about this?” Well, it de-legitimizes the disorder. It makes it increasingly difficult for those individuals living with an illness to be taken seriously. Yes fakery can come from a place of pain, but there’s still a large amount of people who are not doing it from a place of pain, they’re doing it to farm attention and pity. Especially when those faking a disorder hyperbolize and exaggerate the symptoms, it can cause very real harm to the real people living with the condition by making it ‘competitive’. If the general population is led to believe that people with DID are constantly swapping alters in dramatic fashion, then those affected who either have more subdued symptoms or have gone through the hard work of managing them become marginalized. It’s the same thing that happened with depression; people are far less inclined to believe I have a real brain chemistry issue and more inclined to believe that I’m either just lazy or trying to garner sympathy and attention which often leads to issues ranging from misunderstanding to outright hostility/abuse. People with DID need to be treated with care and respect, and when people become too desensitized by witnessing false behavior, those things go out the window. The blows of reluctance to believe, misunderstandings, hostility, and the *stigma* will be rained down upon those who are most vulnerable. I’m a little dumbfounded that someone so knowledgeable could ignore these very obvious issues. I’m not questioning your credentials, but I am questioning your thought process.
Psychiatrist here. I came across your video while educating myself on what’s going on with DID on social media as I’ve had 3 patients in the last month come in saying they have DID. I love your description of the association of trauma and dissociation. I’m a big Perry and Van Der Kolk fan. Anyway, my concern is about contagion phenomena. While all 3 of my pts had some mild trauma in the home, none of them had ever endorsed any dissociative sx’s let alone DID sx’s until this started blowing up on TikTok. And they all give the same description of their experience like they’re regurgitating the videos they’ve watched. Anyway, maybe it is legit, but I’m definitely worried that this could end up distracting from the primary underlying issues. Second thing, what’s your source for how to treat it? I was taught that you try to integrate into a single personality, but would love to keep on top of it if there’s updated research showing that there are other more productive ways. Thanks in advance for any insight you can add!
I wonder what would happen if you stuck in some treatment for narcissism as well, but without telling them that it’s for narcissism because god forbid they wouldn’t have any possibility that they could be narcissistic
I think part of it might be due to confirmation bias. Until downloading tiktok I knew very little about DID, but somehow it's become a huge part of my feed now Tiktok's algorithm notices which videos you watch for longer (even if it's out of morbid curiosity) and keeps showing you similar content. I kinda experienced this too. I got a few tiktoks about Adhd symptoms, watched them, thought "hm, i struggle with attention too, although not these other symptoms so I probably don't have it." But then because I watched those videos they keep showing up again and again. And each time you see them, you question again, "do i have it? Could i?" i can see how people could genuinely be convinced they might have something under those circumstances, especially if they are genuinely struggling and looking for a possible explanation for their mental problems
I'm curious, what were the symptoms they claimed? I'm understanding it sounded like they followed a strict template to describe their experiences and how they presented themselves, what exactly was that? I know the question wasn't directed to me but look into "functional multiplicity"
Everything he describes about real DID directly contradicts what TikTokers demonstrate. He says people with DID have nothing to gain, yet TikTokers gain tons of followers, positive attention, and even sometimes money. He says people with DID don't know they have nor seek out a DID diagnoses, yet that's exactly what TikTokers do--they claim they have DID w/o or before ever getting a real diagnosis. He says it's not fun to have DID, yet that's exactly how TikTokers present it: like it's a fun and quirky role-paying session. He says switching is distressing, yet TikTokers switch on-command to make silly "introduction videos" and are clearly having a great time. Also it's not comparable to faking depression, since depression doesn't come with pretending to be a bunch of fun or cool OC's and cartoon characters.
hey fun answer: you dont. you dont really know. the same way you dont know if you're just a brain plugged into a system so u experience a simulation. all your life you MAY have internalized sadness being an emotion others experience so much that you imitate it, even to yourself. you MAY be faking your sadness, even to yourself. fun, right? who knows if what you experience is real in comparison to others? i sure dont! its just best to assume what you feel is real at least on the level that you are truly experiencing it, and move on. anyways, i dont get what youre saying. are you arguing against the existence of DID, or do you just find his argument faulty?
@@user-nk2yn2hh6h neither, I’m simply in a constant state of existential crisis rooted in constantly questioning whether my own experiences reflect reality: ie, am I actually feeling/thinking/experience this or am I just making it up or being dramatic for attention? Because I have a crippling history of trauma and mental illness~ Also, it’s a funny sarcastic response and was the first thing my brain said when I got to that part of the video, not anything that was meant to be read into that deeply
"How is this effecting you?" *Looks at the three systems in the chatrooms I run, one who has a fictive alter who has threatened roommates with a hatchet, one who is co-fronting with all six of his alters after self diagnosing six months ago, and another who is encouraging all of this as 'normal' system behavior.* I actually came here looking for the answers to the questions that email posed, and you've actually given zero answers. I fully support people who have real DID, like the Kaleidoscope System down there. (You are doing amazing, you might not see this, but you should be very proud of what you've accomplished and the sheer amount of work you have put in.) But this is seriously getting to the point where it is becoming harmful like negative media portrayals of DID are harmful, and I'm about ready to kick someone out because they are encouraging self diagnosis while DISCOURAGING therapy, and I know I'm going to be called ablest for it, and I just don't care anymore.
That’s what’s upset me about this too. I don’t have DID, nothing even close. But I have a multitude of obsessive and anxiety driven disorders. I remember it being so painful and embarrassing to have to do my compulsions no matter who was around. I HAD to. I later developed body dysmorphic disorder which caused me to obsessively pick my acne until they became large wounds and refused to go to school out of fear and anxiety. People never really took it serious, they acted like I just was being difficult or that I wanted to draw attention to myself and play a victim but in reality It felt like life or death to me. And then people started making ocd some kind of quirky cute thing about being meticulous. And used body dysmorphic disorder as a term to describe regular insecurities. I’m angry at this TikTok fake disorder phenomenon because it serves to cause the people who invalidated my stuggles and all of us who have mental disorders’ struggles to think they were correct in doing so. Also the encouragement of these tiktokers to self diagnose is disturbing because if I had never gotten medicated or had therapy, I wouldn’t be alive right now. I’m worried people who have serious disorders either will self diagnose themselves incorrectly or be correct in their assumption but think they don’t need help. and that could have devastating consequences
Right. Because these people faking it have the biggest fucking mouths. most of them have some serious social defect and use DID to make themselves a "victim".
It is harmful and it does bother me because as someone with a professional diagnosis of a complicated disorder (not of DID) who has been through a lot of childhood trauma and misdiagnosis and years upon years of therapy to even remotely know what's wrong with me, they're (pardon my french) kicking me in the balls by saying "I don't need a diagnosis, I diagnosed myself." just because they want attention. yes, they probably have different issues of their own, but that doesn't excuse what they're doing. they're further stigmatizing an already very stigmatized disorder and topic by faking to have this just to live out their roleplay fantasy for attention.
Please know that DID and OSDD are misdiagnosed constantly. There's a huge stigma against them and alot of ignorance. Also the disorder itself tries to hide and be covert.
I think you’re missing the point. Yes no one wants to fake a horrible experience like that. That’s not what the tiktokers are doing. They’re glamorizing it and using it as a role playing device. I get that you’re a professional and you have to watch what you say but no one is saying these people aren’t experiencing SOMETHING, just that DID is probably not what’s going on. You also kinda skipped over the issues of self diagnosis and fic/factives, I would’ve liked a more in-depth look at that.
There are of course tiktokers who fake the disorder but I will say people who don't have DID or know anyone with it have no basis to criticize self diagnosis or fac/fictives. I'm dating someone who is self diagnosed with the disorder but there is REASON for this. She has no reason to fake it and often hid it to appease other. She has a system full of fictives and factives as well. You have to realize that the alters that form are completely out of the host's control. The brain takes familiar experiences and creates alters and places in inner world because of that. DID is also horribly taboo, making diagnosis EXTREMELY hard. As people will often minimize it to insanity or attention seeking or delusions. While im not familiar with the severity of the DID community in tiktok, you have to realize that you can't ask a psychologist to go in depth about topics such as that because it is more complex than right or wrong. The truth is that the disorder is stigmatized to such a degree that even professionals can't always have the answers for it. I would advise you to take your questions to an actual system (given you know they are real) and come up with a consensus there. You can't rely on someone without the disorder to answer all your questions.
A lot of people with DID also have a hard time getting diagnosis because of the environments they are in. Most won't get a diagnosis until at least early adulthood because since the diagnosis is caused by horrible repeated trauma, they usually aren't in the proper environment to get help for their condition.
Thank you for addressing this. When I was in grad school, I had a client with DID, and similar to what you described, they were mostly unaware/did not understand what was happening to them and instead sought treatment for other depression and ptsd related symptoms. It wasn’t until our first deeply emotional session that I noticed the DID symptoms. Sessions were intense and the pain and suffering this person experienced is still to this day like nothing I’ve seen before. I understand that it’s easy to be skeptical, but it pains me to hear people speak of DID like it’s a myth.
There are communities/RUclips videos entirely centered around young kids “getting/giving each other DID” via “subliminals” and other methods. And sooo many people who “have DID” online are incredibly young - far too young to have well communicating systems. Many of these kids are going to grow out of this within the next year or so, though. The only worry is the damage it does to further stigmatize people who live with this trauma disorder. I think it’s usually pretty clear when someone is just far too young to have the presentation of DID they claim to have and are just being kids on the internet - in those cases, just pay them no mind. Calling individual people out does nothing but potentially harm people with the disorder and I think we just need to continue to make sure we are promoting experts and making sure people have access to the resources they need.
I was in an abusive relationship as a young teen with someone who pretended to have DID to try and manipulate me and get away with their actions towards me. It was deeply traumatic and scary.
The same is going on with autism. I'm autistic, and it DOES hurt me when the mayority of the "ActUaLlyAuTIstIc" people online are faking it, because I know that I won't be taken seriously anymore, not even in a crucial situation when I know that my only, last chance to explain myself is my diagnosis, and then am laughed at. A few weeks ago people called the police after a severe "overload"/"meltdown", and when I told them of my diagnosis, one of the cops just said, "uh, another one!", laughing. Something like that didn't happen 10 or even just 5 years ago. And it's not the "fakeclaiming" or "gatekeeping" that does the damage, it's the faking. Period.
To be fair, it seems like the cop was the one at fault here. If you tell an officer you’re having a mental health episode and their reaction is to tell you that you’re faking it, then that cop isn’t doing their job.
Another thing is that autism is overly romanticised online - you get a good portion of actually autistic people who've bought into the narrative that it's a superpower or that it's normal people that are flawed. I couldn't deal with the subreddit for autism, because at times it almost had undertones of supremacism, which was wild for something that started as a medical disorder. These notions obviously started from a good place, it's a good thing to acknowledge the positives as well as the negatives that come as part of having autism. The problems come when you have a large number of autistic people within an echo chamber/in-group who've been repeatedly fed the idea that autism makes them a special class, and it often results in dismissive behaviour towards "allistics" and an unwillingness to acknowledge that ways they affect others is a result of anything but intolerance.
I've no degrees in psychology, but I've noticed a lot of motives for people that fake disorders. They can be more than one, of course. These reasons tend to be -a desire to be unique -wanting to fit a label for a sense of belonging -justifying not fitting in -confusing cognitive dissonance with different personalities rather than one's own identity facing said CD -riding trends
I have DID (I’m also 19 so I’m a young adult) and it seems like a fun disorder to the outside. I receive so much shit like ‘Oh that sounds so cool’. It is actually horrible. I struggle to accept that my brain is built the way it is and the memories flashbacks that come along with having the disorder. It isn’t fun and being an alter/having other head mates isn’t meant to be quirky or trendy. In fact, having other head mates isn’t the main issue I got with having the disorder. The main issue is the fact that everyone who has abused and harmed me as a kid, I can’t remember them. I remember what happened like a film and pieces are missing that I need to fill in over time. By the time that you’ve done that and got the persons name, it’s too late.
I feel like that’s more narcissistic trend. They will pretend to be anyone raither than to be themselves. I believe ( from my own experience of course) that individuality is often get suppressed by society in general and many people as well. People grow up less understanding who they are and what they feel, maybe only fragmented feelings are left that they call dissociative personality disorder
Absolutely. They see these different aspects of who they are, and if they don't fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, they question if it's really them or something/someone else. Like sometimes I do things and later I don't know WHY, but I know it was me. It was me being irrational because I was upset, or me dissociating from being overwhelmed and not totally knowing what I was doing. The whole time, I'm still me though. I accept that I have many aspects of my personality and that sometimes those change a bit if I'm in a bad mental state.
Thanks for covering this. It’s distressing to know that this is happening. It’s already so hard to be taken seriously when you have DID, this is only making it harder.
I wonder how much of this kind of attention-seeking behavior among kids and teens (described in the video and in the comments) correlates with insufficient opportunities for imaginative play. There's such a pernicious web of problems facing kids navigating the modern Internet, not the least of which is how omnipresent it is, and I don't want to start wildly throwing out hypotheses here. I guess my point is when I hear about kids doing things like pretending to/convincing themselves they have DID, or the reality-shifting thing, what I see is kids who desperately need imaginative play and make-believe and feel the need to somehow justify it through an identity label. God. Every day I become more convinced that letting children and teens use social media in its current state is a form of neglect. I have really fond and formative and beneficial memories of online spaces when I was growing up, but those were either forum communities that were moderated by real members of the community or small (10-20 people) circles of friends who leveraged social power among each other and at least attempted to resolve conflicts directly. Mega-platforms where everything is public and the most viral content wins are a completely different animal. We need to do better.
I'm honestly scared of just how mentally troubled the NEXT generation is going to be... my age group just barely escaped the worst of it, I think. We primarily grew up on Minecraft and Black Ops, not TikTok or Twitter.
you can blatantly tell some of these kids faking it for attention with their poc or disabled or lgb alters like stop taking advantage of marginalized communities for attention/to feel included....
As a person with DiD this comment bothers me cause you can have a alter who is a different race than the body. We don't have one in our system (at least I think right now? I don't know everyone tbh...) but its not impossible. Same with disabilities and sexuality/gender. I'm just bothered a bit- people like you say this stuff as if you know its true when there's evidence that contradicts what you just said here. Again alters can be anything; a fictional character, a real life person, someone with a different race, disability. Even some of us in the system can speak different languages while others can only speak English. And not all of us in the system are pansexual like the host or transgender like he is. I just want you to realize we're still valid even if all the alters aren't the same as the host/core alter. It doesn't make us less human. But yeah, I really hate people who fake it cause they don't understand how horrible it is to deal with, it gets super bad on certain days where we get panic attacks or headaches... :/ i hope anyone reading this has a good day though! /pos
@@GrimoireRose um ok so say you have an alter that's 'Chinese' but your body is white (or whatever else) and your brain's lived experience is only that of a white person in a western country... Do i still have to respect that alter? When my whole life I've had to live as a POC? What if that alter is formed entierly by racist stereotypes, like a dragon lady or submissive Asian woman? I know the ridicule a poc body would get for asking to be treated as white. I can understand it's a mental illness - that alter was created due to trauma, and it's not voluntry. With that explaination I'd give more leeway, for sure. But you have to be a bit more empathetic to people with the real lived experiences that your systems alters take on! Same for disability, gender identity etc. Although an alter isn't something you can just take off, there's a lot more nuance than 'I'm/we're mentally ill, deal with it' esp when stuff like race and skin color come into play.
@@farialebowski2459 there's actually been a lot of education on this subject in the DID community, through BIPOC systems, and BIPOC friends in the last 16 months. In the inner world, alters can see themselves as anything. It's harmful to claim a culture that isn't your lived experience, though, so it's important that systems change the way we talk about our alters that don't have the lived experience of a culture or race they see themselves as. Often, these alters are introjects.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and the anger and sadness I feel when I see all the people faking adhd/adhd symptoms on tiktok is unbelievable. I hate seeing my mental illness misrepresented or romanticized. I cannot imagine how hurtful all this faking must be for people with DID, which is a much more destabilizing and stigmatized disorder then ADHD.
My 14 year old child is heavily involved in communication with someone online who claims to have DID. My child is autistic, has generalized anxiety disorder and some other troubles, and is making herself sick just memorizing every single thing about this person and their alters online. They met in a role playing game, and during part of the role play, one of my child’s characters supposedly materialized as a new alter for the other “kid”. So my child feels somewhat responsible. I just found out how deeply involved this is, because of how much sleep my child has been missing, nothing else matters to her, her self esteem has taken a dive, and she’s showing what looks exactly like addictive behavior. I know she started out trying to help someone, and she doesn’t know how to make friends irl because her autism makes it hard for her to understand when she has a real friend. Aside from cutting her completely off of the internet and going cold turkey, I don’t know how to help her. She’s being harmed, and I don’t know if this person actually has DID, or even if this person is a real child of the same age. I do know that I have recently seen some dissociation in her because of the trauma this situation is causing her. This is all going down on a Discord server for fans of a certain band. She has a therapist, but we need a new therapist. The therapist she has right now is literally just “calling it in” talking to her once a month over the phone so that my child doesn’t lose her access to her skills trainers. Here, you have to have a therapist to get skills training. If you see this, can you maybe do a video on the harm and dangers to other vulnerable people when they aren’t equipped or trained to deal with things like this? I’m exhausted because my child is in some distress and I just don’t know how to help her right now.
Very tough situation, my absolute condolences. Your child’s been manipulated by a faker. Or at the very least, someone who doesnt know who to push their disorder onto. No matter the case, going cold turkey was the right idea, however your kids probably going to still feel shaken up about it, or feel ashamed about having to leave them. No kid should have to deal with someone else’s disorder (real or fake), its a nightmare.
I'm so sorry. This is awful. I just wanted to also second your request. I'm autistic and actually have did and I think I'm figuring out that my husband is an abuser. His new thing is suddenly having did but it seems very fake and all to control me, but I can't tell for sure. It's making me sick not knowing if I'm an asshole for suspecting manipulation or if he's the asshole. Autistic people are so much more susceptible to manipulation. I'm glad you're looking out for your kiddo. Maybe don't cut them off but try to start educating them on the topics you mentioned. Maybe you can learn about DID together. I'm pretty sure an alter can't just appear because of your child's character. Maybe then she won't feel so responsible. That's the hope at least.
no adult with did would've said anything like that to your child, definitely another kid faking it who got all his did info from tiktok and youtube, maybe just wait until you can find a way to explain to her that it wasnt really real, so sorry to hear about your situation, I hope it has gotten better
Awesome video! One of the things that worries me the most is when adult TikTokers and RUclipsrs who have DID (real or not) become influencers. They become a pretty big guiding force on how people with DID should be treated, and even more scary, how people who have DID should treat themselves. I've seen multiple instances of popular DID content creators doing some not-so-great stuff and then don't acknowledge that it was bad, leaving the audience thinking it was good and OK to do. I've heard a few instances where people who have DID tried to internalize and copy how the influencer was behaving and treating their alters, only for their mental health to get much worse. This is where the misinformation becomes a problem. For instance, one adult TikToker who was experiencing "rapid switching" and talking about how distressed they were, said they were trying to ground, but kept deliberately trying to switch alters over and over again. Even going so far as to drown out an obvious positive grounding stimuli (a storm, which the fronting alter enjoyed) with music in order to deliberately switch yet again. Bearing in mind, the whole time they're talking about how distressing it is and how they want it to stop. It was disturbing, and as far as I'm aware, they never pointed out that it was a mistake. That system does interviews on DID and is a pretty big influencer in the niche of DID. I worry for anyone who has DID or knows someone who has DID taking this on board and treating it this way in real life.
RUclips/Social Media isn't a reliable source for any type of Diagnosis. Anyone who thinks it is needs serious Mental Health Therapy STAT. Be Accountable for yourself and Watch what you want skip over what you don't want to watch. It's simple really. I can't imagine anyone Faking DID because in Real Life it SUCKS.
It's so nice to see this. I've been professionally diagnosed with DID, and my therapist and I are currently working through it, and it's really hard to see these kids who are acting like it's fun or quirky. The disorder is not fun at all, chunks of my day are just missing entirely, I have to pretend I've already met people that I don't know, I've missed important appointments and the like due to not being the one fronting, I've been stuck dissociating for hours to the point of actively harming myself from not moving. It isn't fun, it will never be fun, and the fact these young teens are going on tiktok showing their 'uwu' alters and actively dressing up to showcase each alter is what I can only put as severely insulting.
I feel guilty about being so angry at these tiktokers faking this, but this is why. Painting this potentially debilitating and serious disorder as fun and quirky and like all your alters are just besties in your head you can call out and anytime you want to help you out is quite misleading. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through.
DID is like a social contagion that appears in connection with movies and TV. It always manifests in culturally specific ways based on how the media presents it in that culture. In India, where movies and TV present DID sufferers as waking up with different personalities each day, that's how it "manifests." In the US. At first, people had max five alters. Suddenly pop culture started showing people with hundreds of alters, and now the average is like 60. Originally you had people switching once every few months and therapists having to "draw" personalities out. Now you have people "sharing a headspace" and "switching multiple times an hour." Originally it was total amnesia and alters that weren't aware of each other. Now people have alters that are "coconscious," who can talk to each other, and even alters that are "dating." And alters “co-fronting”
This is one of the most compelling reasons as to its none existence. These manifestations should be consistent across cultures, but they aren't. It's entirely malleable and fits into underlying cultural values and beliefs, which I believe denoted the person with DID subconsciously acting like they have it, and legitimately believing that they do as well.
As someone with a DID diagnosis, I avoid everything like this online. It's so upsetting. Real awareness hasn't increased, stigma is still massive (horror movies and the like), and even some so called doctors don't believe that we exist. It's bad enough having to live with the effects of severe trauma and a dozen other diagnoses on top of it, being disabled, without shit like this.
I watched a RUclips video 3 weeks about by a young lady who did the video on TikTok and mental illness; The video was the first in a series of videos on the topic. In the comments, a person who claimed to be a mental health professor declared very strongly that DID doesn't exist. The person didn't give any reasons for their comment. When I read the comment, it made me question if they were really a mental health professional because of not backing up their comment.
Thank you for emphasizing that DID is real, and for asking people to question where the urge to scrutinize people's illness/disability comes from, and touching on the stigma that can add. I don't have DID myself but I am disabled, and the focus that people put on seeking out 'fakers' harms a lot of disabled people. I'm glad to see that you both acknowledged that there are going to people out their who do fake from time to time, but did not suggest that it's helpful to scrutinize the validity of someone's illness or assume you can know for sure if you're judging from the sidelines
Yeah I use to watch those, like, cringe compilations? on here with the others in the system and later on it would just make us feel like genuine shit... I know they could be faking, but we aren't professionals. We don't know what goes on in other people's minds. but some people that comment on those videos are very ableist too and will attack real systems that struggle with DiD or OSDD. (One of us commented on those videos and it started a wildfire of invalidation on us cause we don't wanna Integrate. combining into one person basically) They don't seem to understand the thought process. I feel like thats why so much stigma just happens because they can't relate or other reasons. Its very unfortunate its such a huge issue in society still, wish we could all love each other than spread negativity :/ Hopefully your life gets better too though! I understand how hard it might be for people like us and you to function on the daily. Despite how stressful it is we're all human, we can push through each day step by step and thats what matters ❤
I took abnormal psychology over the summer and we talked a little about DID. I find it really fascinating, and I think it makes sense that it would be a response to some kind of traumatic experience. It's so interesting how the brain works. Lol And I'm glad you made this video, because I needed a reminder too that I don't have to react to everything I don't like. Lol 👍
On tik tok it is not usually coming from pain but in lot of cases it is caused because views make you earn money. And faking illness make a terrible harm to the persons that really have them.
Heating how DID comes about is heartbreaking. Bringing an alter forward so you can "survive that trama mentally" this entire video was so informative and very needed in this day and age. Thank you for the insite
Back in, lets say, 2016, if someone told me they had a mental condition/disorder, I'd likely just believe them. Now (2022), if someone tells me they have a disorder, I feel the need to ask if it's self-diagnosed or professionally diagnosed. I always feel bad assuming everyone is faking, especially if I meet them in real life, but I will absolutely not shed sympathy for people faking any kind of struggle.
I think there’s a worthwhile distinction to make between “faking” DID/any disorder in your real everyday life, and faking it only on social media. There is a much different value proposition to faking for just a few seconds or minutes at a time for a video.
As someone with D.I.D. who figured it out and brought it to my therapist and then was brought to be futher tested by psychologist. It took me YEARS i read and read and looked into people with the disorder. I have huge lapses in memory, depression, sucidial ideology and thoughts, and mood swings. i started researching my symptoms at 13-14 and i got diagnosed at 21. Its stressful, its chaotic, its disorienting. We are working on learning to work together as a system now that we are self aware of most alters...im at currently 13 alters. im currently out of work though so i cant go to therapy thank god me and my therapist are also just friends which i needed. Shes just message me and ask me how im doing and help me out best i can...we are also a covert system we hide very well...as my parents dont believe in this...and are part of the issue but i cant afford to live alone rn... -Eli and Company
Heya, might just be a stranger on the internet but I wish you the best of luck for everything. Therapy, job, or just a support group and awesome friends that can love and help y'all cause ya deserve that! Every single one of you got this and can pull though ^^! Best wishes once again 💜!
Can you do a deep dive into "reality shifting"? It's a new trend and community on TikTok. They believe they can shift their consciousness to another reality as they sleep. While most of us think it's vivid dreams, they try to persuade everyone that shifting to another reality is possible. My question is: why do some people -- like reality shifters -- get so attached to alternative realities and fictional worlds? Do you think these content creators are faking it?
No its 100% real, ive shifted exactly once after over 10 tries, and its quite legitimate. It isnt "vivid dreams", not even slightly. People get attached to those alternate realities because those realities promise them comfort and peace. Example: You shift to the world of your favorite show. You develop a relationship with your favorite character. You feel a sense of community in that alternate reality. -- Who wouldnt become attached to that? its paradise, you know? using scripts, you can make those alternate realities anything you want them to be.
Because the world that humanity built for itself sucks, being a teen/tweenager inherently sucks, and science fiction involving alternative realities has saturated popular culture to the point of being a solid part of modern Western cultural myth. Additionally western liberal thought heavily promotes the idea that lived experience is the highest and most valid form of truth, above consensus or empiricism or tradition/religion or anything else (which has bled across the entire political spectrum actually, but that's where it started). So if someone gets told that their lived experience in a dream is just a consequence of neurological functions while you're asleep, it can be easier to outright reject that and hold on to this "reality shifting" idea instead. It doesn't really matter if some or all content creators are 'faking it' because ultimately the end effect is the same, and if you accept the primacy of lived experience then it's entirely immaterial to accuse someone of faking it from the outside anyway.
I think there is a big difference in the group of people who say they have DID on social media vs the people who are actually seeking help. If I was faking a disorder to get attention on the internet I wouldn’t go to a doctor about it.
This is so discouraging. It’s already a problem trying to get professionals to try and take DID seriously, and tik tok is sadly making many of them think it isn’t. It’s a never ending uphill battle. For every person who fakes DID, there’s many more people who are going undiagnosed and can’t get help. I’m so glad that this channel re affirms that it’s real.
People are so fast to self diagnose. Sadness does not always equal depression, shyness does not always equal anxiety, not being able to sit still and concentrate does not always equal adhd. I often dissociate due to my anxiety/adhd but I have never claimed it as being DID. I wish people understood that
it absolutely sucks that ppl are faking did on tiktok because people who actually have it or suspect they might dont feel comfortable talking about it on social media for fear of being lumped in with the people poisoning the social association with DID as a whole
And they claim it's to spread awareness or it's their way of coping. I think there's a very distinct difference when a diagnosed DID individual uses the plaform genuinely for those purposes vs those who fake their DID for clout
I have to agree with many others. While having DID isn't fun, that doesn't mean faking it wouldn't be. Because they don't experience the things that make those who have it miserable. That's like saying people wouldn't lie about having cancer because it's really painful. Well, yes, but not if you don't actually have it. And I do believe it does harm people immensly if faking disorders becomes a trend. It harms those who have the disorder and it harms those who don't. Yes, if you feel the need to fake a disorder, there is very likely something wrong with you. But that doesn't mean "It's OK, they're still sick". It's a real problem, because those who have some other kind of disorder might see videos like that and become convinced it's DID. There are many other disorders that can cause some symptoms that might look similar. We all have different aspects of personality, there are days or cirsumstances when you feel almost like a different person. If you are a teenager and your personality isn't fully solidified it's even more extreme. Pair that with some kind of underlying disorder, possibly even some dissociative symptoms and it's easy to trick yourself into believing you might have DID. Because it's one of the "cool", "interesting" disorders right now. The more they see videos of systems with 100+ colourful alters who all have interesting backstories, speech/writing quirks, who are based in what ever fictional universes are trendy right now, the more they hear about all those fun anecdotes about what's happening in their headspace, the more they want to have this cool, fun group of people in their head, the more they want to be that celebrity they look up to. They might refuse another disgnosis. I've even heard of people changing therapists until they get someone to tell them what they want to hear, or seeking out doctors they know are more open to diagnosing DID in ...questionable.. cases. Because *just* having BPD or PTSD just isn't *fun*. Just getting hazy and disoriented and unable to function when you dissociate isn't *fun*. You know what's fun? Putting on wigs and makeup and pretending to be a 3000 year old vampire. Imagining all the crazy adventures that the aliens, wolves and celebrities in you head are having together. It keeps people from getting a real diagnosis and real help. It makes people question a disorder that many people already don't believe in. It makes a serious disorder look like something desirable to those who are already mentally unstable or impressionable. And they have the ultimate way to shut everybody down who dares to tell them they might not have DID, because "It's a serious disorder guys, I'm really suffering, who are you to tell me I'm faking!!"
I argue if their faking it for attention they should probably get help because that need for attention is still inherently human. Is it harmful? Hell Yeah, but they should probably get help-??? because if their acting out for attention in the only way they know how to get it??? that's probably enough to justify therapy-??
As an abuse survivor with bipolar disorder w/ psychotic tendencies. When people lie about it for attention it hurts. It’s like they can just take off a mask and go back to their normal lives meanwhile I’m dealing with it all day, everyday. It makes me feel like my mental issues are just fun and games to them. It’s extremely insensitive.
I'm really glad you spent a good portion of this video talking about how DID develops and the stigma around it before actually talking about people who fake it because it is important to remind others that this is absolutely a real condition. I have a close friend who was recently diagnosed with DID; at one point before he was diagnosed we stopped talking for months because our friendship had become quite toxic and I needed to step away. It felt shitty since we've known each other since we were 13 and I have a very hard time cutting people off, but he was hurtful towards me and my friends on several instances and then I'd get angry, so it became mutually unhealthy. Ever since he started therapy and was moved out of his abusive household things have been going unbelievably well, and I'm very happy for him. Even though we're both adults now, he's always shown these symptoms (although he didn't know he was in a system), so it's entirely possible for teenagers to have DID and I think assuming every 15 year old who makes a Tik Tok about having DID is faking does more harm than good. However, I've also personally known of someone who faked it. We were classmates in 10th grade, and they told me they had DID pretty much the same day we met (to quote, "are you scared of me yet"). I'm a bit of a fawner (worse when I was younger, because I hadn't been getting help) so I refused to let that deter me from befriending them. They never really displayed symptoms of DID unless they wanted attention or an excuse to lash out and be mean, and they magically cured themselves of it about a year later. Now, it's very obvious they were trying to convince themselves of having DID as some sort of coping mechanism. I feel like it brought them some sense of joy because they felt pretty worthless, so having this rare and interesting illness made them feel cool and unique, and because it provided them with an excuse to act "weird" or say things that they otherwise would be too scared to. I think a lot of people on Tik Tok do this too, but those who are faking will eventually grow out of it. It's useless to bully people, negative reinforcement is only going to worsen whatever underlying issues they have (because I believe nobody who's completely stable would fake a disorder unless it was exclusively for money or to get away with a crime). This is something that I see happening with other disorders too though. A lot of autistic kids try to convince themselves of having ASPD because they're seen as "weird" and sometimes don't experience empathy quite like their peers, so the idea of having a personality disorder that's stigmatized as being evil feels "cooler" and more empowering. Feeling"scary" or "dangerous" helps them cope with bullying and social ostracization. Please don't harass people who you believe are faking disorders, not only is it hard to tell but even if they were faking that's no excuse for being an asshole. If someone's actively spreading harmful misinformation or hiding behind the excuse of mental illness to harm others then it's ok to bring that to light, but bullying strangers is an entirely different matter.
Confession: I suffered for a long time wondering if I had DID/OSSD, and I still do sometimes. I used to obsess over myself, questioning every thought I had to see if it matched with a diagnosis. I am fascinated by psychology in general but especially this disorder, and I’ve made plenty of friends who have it along the way. I’m still uncertain why I thought/think I have it but the brief comment about jealousy at the end really stuck with me. I don’t want an identity disorder for attention, I actually hate attention. And I don’t want one because my life would be ten times harder. I certainly do not actually wish for the disorder. But at the same time, I kind of fantasize about it in a way. I think part of me wants to be a little more interesting or complex, and I wonder if that’s what a lot of these kids on tik tok are going through. I’m really worried about a generation of kids plugged into their phones all the time, trying to make themselves stand out and feel something on the internet where everyone is disconnected. PS I love this channel, this is my new favorite pysch channel : )
Being optimistic is well and good, but it is blatantly obvious that these are posers. I wish them health and to find themselves, because I'm sure this is a phase based off underlying problems.
I’m sorry if you addressed this in the video and I missed it, but is it common for people with DID to identify as fictional characters or real people? How do you as a therapist help someone manage an alter that believes that he’s Dean Winchester or Bo Burnham? There are several ways in which I can imagine this belief would cause problems for the system. Another reason why I think DID is so controversial is the intersectionality issues it presents with other oppressions. Is it valid for an alter living in a white, blond-haired, blue-eyed body to identify as a member of a racial minority and talk about issues faced by that minority as if they also face them? I can understand why a person who is visibly a racial minority might be frustrated by having their experiences contradicted by someone with 100% European DNA, who claims to be a member of the same racial minority and expects to be validated as such because of their DID. It’s a complicated disorder. This was a very informative video, and I appreciate that you approached it without an agenda and just tried to get the facts out.
system here- fictives/factives are VERY common!! we've noticed that especially if the system in question is neurodivergent, its just easier to be a person if you have a pre-determined look/shape, though im not saying that being an introject is much of a choice- most of the time you pop into existence like this. im speaking through personal experience on this cause thats really all i can do, as all systems are different just like how all brains are different, but we have a couple online friends who are also ND and systems (absolute serendipity that we all met eachother), and we all at least have one fictive or factive running around. i'd go as far as to say introjects are pretty normal for systems, and as long as the introject in question doesnt fall too far into delusion (things like very firmly believing that they are The Real Version of their source material, having false memories esp if they're distressing or painful), then its okay as long as they're feeling alright about their introject-ness. im not sure what to add about alters who ID with specific races/ethnicities tbh? while we have a fair number of alters who don't match the body's race, we're all very aware that we're the race that we are, so besides doing our best to be good allies for bipoc in general we dont go beyond that line as we feel it'd be inappropriate. since we're white, we havent lived through racism no matter how many of us feel like we don't match our body, so we take it in stride and help boost real bipoc voices. things like gender on the other hand has a LOT more intersectionality in being a system, and we've found that being a system has given us a unique perspective and also emotions on being part of the lgbt+ community. an example could be that an alter could ID as a cis man but lives in a female body. he might very much still feel like a cis man even if he's fronting, but because he's in a female body, he'll have a trans experience! these were really good questions!! i hope we could help a little- this disorder is VERY complicated, and depending on the system you'll probably get different answers. we arent professionals by far, but we DO live this so i thought our own example would help too
@@cervidae3291 I loved this, thank you! My partner's system has ADHD and they have numerous fictives and non-human alters. My partner (cis hetero man in a female body) is a protector/co-host and he's a knight! Something that is important for people without DID to remember is that alters don't really get to write their own origin stories, and invalidating the legitimacy of alters based on the identities that were assigned to them can be very damaging and harmful to them, and is ultimately unnecessary in the bigger picture (unless they are causing real irl distress for others, then personal responsibility comes into play).
Not a psychologist, but I'm an alter in a system with a variant of DID (OSDD-1b). Factives and fictives are incredibly common. We've had 3 or 4 in our system to my knowledge, though only one of then has not integrated. I know other systems in my personal life, also in cursory ways online, and it is often common for them to have a few or have had some in the past. This is because when the brain is stressed, it will create new alters--and if you're stressed and feel your stress or pain is understood through a character you're thinking about a lot, often the alter that forms will be a fictive/factive. It is the brain's way of protecting you and compartmentalizing difficult emotions, and it learned to do it when you were in danger as a child, so it keeps on doing it as a safety mechanism into adulthood. It is a completely involuntary process that we cannot control. I've definitely had it surprise me before. On the subject of non white alters/ alters claiming to be of an oppressed background the body has never experienced, it is a both simple and complex answer. Non white alters are created involuntarily, we cannot control it , and they feel certain things about their identity. The question is, how do you express this? Honestly, as a black/brown alter in a white body, you should not be speaking on experiences you fundamentally do not have and will never have. It is part of system responsibility to discuss that with alters who are brown/black and tell them that they cannot speak over people of color who are discriminated against for the color of their skin and physical appearance. It is a conversation I have had with alters with darker skin and ethnic features the body doesn't have, and we discuss how to approach this often. Systems who don't discuss or deal with it are not being responsible or checking their privelage, it's as simple as that.
Would one of the systems in this comment thread mind helping me? I believe I have a few alters but I don't want to diagnose myself and come off as a trender. For context, I live in a rocky household. Not quite abusive, but definitely dysfunctional, and the community surrounding me is incredibly hostile. This combined with the stress and isolation of quarantine has caused my mental health to go downhill quite a bit and over time, distinct "voices"/people have formed in my mind along with myself. A few are fictives but there are also a couple that have formed from nothing and taken on their own identities. A lot of them seem focused on keeping me distracted from the worse parts of my day or just giving advice, but there are some as well that act as though to prosecute me and tell me that I deserve the unkindness and unhappiness i face. This doesn't affect my life much and I'm hesitant to tell any of my friends or family, fearing judgement from mu friends and knowing that my family would likely tell me I'm faking it and that social media has convinced me I'm mentally ill. Help? Edit: its also worth noting that a lot of them will come to my defense when I'm being criticized by my parents or peers, as if they try to put themselves in front of me/between me and whatever the stress is.
First, thank you. DID is an uphill battle with all your unknown (for us) trauma dragging you down. It's frightening to lose entire sections of time, even more so suddenly becoming aware that you are missing time. Then the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon begins and you see it every day and how much you are missing from your life. It's incredibly disorienting and frightening. Second, as someone who is still struggling with acceptance, hearing the statement including "terror" as trauma was incredibly enlightening. The largest point of contention for our diagnosis was that we can not recall anything other than the fear. There's no way that something that seems so trivial now could be the trigger for a life long dissociative issue. It is a massive hurdle and feeds our denial spiral. Sometimes being called out inadvertently is greatly needed. Thank you again.
Mmmm there are definitely people who think any attention - good or bad - is a net gain. Particularly in the context of teenage behavior, I think we’ve been seeing it’s pretty normal for them to “seriously” play pretend (see: reality shifting lol). I think we’re seeing a lot of immaturity but it happens
Yeahhhh seeing trends teens cook up makes me cringe (even when I was a teen) I did some dumb stuff when I was young, but I was never much of a trend hopper. I had a few friends back in the day that would lie about different disorders they had. I never wanted to be mean cause obviously something probably was wrong in between the play pretend. It just made it really hard to talk to them cause I wasn't making up my problems, I felt like they didn't take anyone but themselves seriously... One friend once had DID for a few months, "seizures" where she would blank out, etc cause I can't even remember all of her physical/mental ailments anymore. I'm not trying to be mean but she was a bad actress. I couldn't/would'nt call her out directly but that shit worried me. Another friend would fake athsma attacks to get out of shit and lied to me for 2-3 months about being pregnant. I don't think they realize when they do that sort of shit it puts distance in their relationships. I would care and worry without all that. Like a few admitted that their stories were bs (another friend for example that said her step dad abused her for years). It really made me feel like anything personal I told them (which stopped when this shit started), was probably seen as bs. Shit sucks
I needed this video. Especially the beginning. I found myself with a lot of anger towards these teenagers rapid switching making shows out of a serious mental disorder. But when you said “think about why this upsets you so much even if they are faking it” And I did. I realized I’m so upset bc I felt super invalidated when I was a teenager when I was diagnosed with ocd/body dysmorphic disorder/depression/anxiety. I was treated like I was faking it or like I secretly had control over it but just didn’t wanna “try” enough to make it go away. And something about the thought of people actually faking a disorder made me feel upset as I felt people faking contributes to those of us really struggling not being taken seriously. It’s not too often I come across things that make me rethink my whole view. I came out of this video with a totally new opinion. A much less angry and aggressive one. Thank you
I think you and the person who wrote in about this were watching different videos. Yes, there are some legitimate DID sufferers on there who, as you noted, don't sensationalize their disorder, but there are entire series of 20 minute compilation videos of thousands of teenagers who are doing exactly that. You know how you can tell when someone's legitimately fainting vs. faking it? It's the same thing with alters switching. There's some human mechanism in the brain that just makes it very obvious. I liked that you pointed out that that behavior could very well be indicative of another (quite legitimate) mental illness, though. We all know that adolescence is a brutally difficult phase of life for everyone, so it isn't shocking that a segment of the population already prone to rebellious, off the wall acts would partake in a trend like this with technology being where it is and in light of the recent increase in awareness around DID. There's the "I'm special" factor, plus, in a phase where you're trying to figure out who you are in a big, scary world, it's not hard to see how seductive it could seem to just not have to choose at all. It would also just be naive to ignore the fact that videos where teens claim to transform on camera into six different anime characters, three separate species, and at least one race not their own (complete with extremely problematic "blaccent") get views and command attention, be it positive or negative, in a way that most of the kids doing this have no other means of attaining on social media.
Stuff/people like this makes it hard for people like me to try and get treated or even listened to. To me it seems like they ruin it for people who actually need help. Very sad and very frustrating.
i like that you pointed out how people who are "faking" disorders may not necessarily be doing it on purpose. a lot of people--especially young people--can easily be misled (intentionally or otherwise) into thinking they have one condition when in reality, they have something else, or even have some sub-clinical issue that isn't a full-blown disorder at all. it's generally best to not immediately assume malice with things like this. someone faking a disorder and getting a huge amount of attention for it can contribute to the stigma around that disorder and cause harm, yes, but a few people doing that doesn't mean that everyone who claims to have a disorder which presents itself in a non-stereotypical way is faking. plus, even if they are, it may very well be because of another disorder causing them to sincerely believe they have something that they actually don't have. these sorts of situations need a more nuanced approach that just assuming that everyone who appears to be faking a disorder is being malicious or assuming that no one could ever possibly be faking at all. the truth is somewhere in the middle, as it almost always is.
I was diagnosed with this and I didn't realize I was mentally ill until 2021. I was sexually abused consistently when I was 5-6 years old and developed the first dissociative episode when I was 8 years old. It was not like what you see on Tiktok. It felt like I was all of a sudden, drunk and having an out-of-body experience and experiencing my body in 3rd person. It felt like I was posessed with a demonic being and lost control over my limbs while I sat and watched it happen. I didn't come down from it until my mother came in with her Bible and held me. I can only remember saying I didn't know where I was. Again, this was just when I was 8. I have only had these awful switches very rarely and mostly these fragments stay inside of my mind and communicate via thoughts. The most they do is come forward but I am able to keep it back. The Tiktok and RUclips people who are switching are very misleading and hurtful. Also, the people who are claiming it isn't real are the same as those who don't think lucid dreaming is real. Just because YOU have never dealt with it does not make it fake. DID is real and it is scary and embarrassing. I have no idea why anybody in their right mind would want to show this to anybody. People who make a show of it online have something to gain and are highly annoying, as well as doctors who use these ridiculous cases to point and say it isn't real. Maybe study actual people who have severe dissociation and not some tiktoker.
Seriously thank you so much for this. We are a system ourselves and we really wanna be who we are openly. It's horrifying- honestly. Switching can be distressing, we've gotten better at communicating and stuff as well as normalizing it. Honestly we're a bit all over the place rn- literally- But we all really agree with your points and appreciate this video. Ngl we were hoping to share this video and we've copied the link to share it a lot-
anyone who calls themselves a system is 1000% faking. If you are referring to yourself as 'we' you're faking. You don't "communicate" with your alters, you literally cannot do that with DID. You are faking, even if you don't realize it.
what im going to say might be very controversial, but please read my whole comment. it is okay to self-diagnose BUT only if youre not using it as a professional/real diagnosis, and instead as a way of saying "i think i might have this disorder, ive looked up a lot about it but i dont have the funds/time to get the diagnosis set on paper.". it is NOT okay to self-diagnose if youre going to use it as something official and have not even looked into it enough to be sure, using the excuse "well it costs too much, i dont have the money, just believe me." because thats bullshit. the only acceptable way to self-diagnose is if youve done enough looking into said disorder and after a good while feel like you might have it, but keeping it to yourself and not telling anyone youre "diagnosed" when youre not.
This! Thank you so much for this video. I came here late to the game and wanted to express my thoughts and feelings as someone who has been diagnosed by psychiatrists and trauma therapists. I get so upset when people fake the disorder. This is not an easy or fun disorder to have. I've lost 3 jobs because an obvious Altar came out at a bad time (not because they did anything wrong just because of stigma). Dissociating is not fun I can usually tell if someone else is about to come out and can't always let them. Feeling you are in a dream, sick to your stomach, dizzy and having a headache are some of the symptoms I experience during a switch. Having to hide it because of the fear of stigma and all the jobs I lost sucks too. Always worried you might lose a job at any time just because you couldn't control a switch enough. I'm so thankful I found this and I appreciate all the info you placed in here. Hollywood movies like Slplit and Sybil have caused some huge misunderstandings about this disorder and can make us look scary to people who don't understand it. Thank you again so much for this informative video!
The fact that you don't believe that these kids of tiktok are faking DID, when many of them have come out about lying about it, when they say their DID just showed up one day and they never had any severe trauma, when they know every single one of their alters along with their names, likes and dislikes, different clothing styles almost as if they're creating a charachter, when their alters all talk to eachother and sometimes even date eachother in their "headspace", when they can switch at will without a trigger dozens of times on camera in order to introduce all their different alters to their tiktok audience, when they're constantly gaining new alters as if it's a race, when they think getting a diagnosis is unnecessary and even bad because they think DID is something great that makes them special and think they're quality of life would diminished were they to be a "boring ass singlet" (I've actually heard that said), when they experience no amnesia... I can't believe you're going to give credence to these teenagers who are only working to further stigmatize people who actually have DID, people who are mortified when they see these fakers and can't believe anyone would want to role-play the disorder that causes teeth so much strife, to present it as something fun and quirky. There is a youtuber whose entire channel is sharing stories of these people confessing to faking DID and confirming that the faking of the disorder has become a massive trend among teens and young adults. DID is incredibly rare and also by nature a covert disorder due to the amnesia and splitting or identities; in being aware of alters and getting them to cooperate or integrate in any sort of way often requires intensive therapy. For there to suddenly be thousands of teens who realized they had DID on their own suddenly after seeing someone else showing off their different alters fashion styles and immediately know all their alters and everything about and them and have the ability to switch whenever they want to is a laugh in the face of the DSM-V, every true sufferer of DID, and anyone with common sense. These kids certainly need help and mental treatment, but not for DID.
This disorder almost ruined my life. It sucks so bad to see it romanticized. I don’t tell people I have DID. I’m in therapy for it. I disclosed it to a friend once and he told all our mutuals- next thing I know they’re all wearing wigs and speaking in different accents. I’ve ended up miles from home at a stranger’s house, had to start carrying important info with me. I’m better now thanks to therapy.
I've dissociated before, and from my experience its totally random, and uncontrollable. So are they like recording themselves all day or just doing this on cue?
It's very scary to even have a sort of mental disorder at all. I have a symptoms of DID and like *it's not fun as all* , it's not cute, it's not quirky. And when people fake it, it's disrespectful because people who has DID (or similar to it). To anyone who has DID or similar to it, you guys are such strong people!
I love videos like this A decent length video, exploring a topic As a patreon it's great to hear the deep dives, and it's great to have a digestible video like this (I just can't watch the dysfunctional people on reality tv shows anymore) (also good question by the listener)
I can't stand the abusive couples anymore so I've been watching a lot less, brandon and julia are still interesting/watchable, it's disfuncional but I don't think abusive TT at some point it just felt like it was raising my anxiety more to listen to abuse happen so often cuz I binged the 90 day fiancee reactions
As someone with D.I.D, our community disapproves on anyone fake claiming others. It's not our place. D.I.D is so widely diverse. Its moments like this that I hear," it's following a trend" or "just for attention" when in reality it's been a struggle for years to get accepted but thankfully with the newer generations becoming more open; it would make sense that they feel Tiktok or RUclips or other sites could be that place they can reach out and can express themselves. Unless you are their therapist, you shouldn't gatekeep what you think is valid or not. I also have friends that thought they had D.I.D but later find out they have OSDD or other serious mental illnesses and that's fine too! What they are feeling in that moment of recovery is their truth. We're just human.
I personally have ADHD and Autism, diagnoses that I have been given and have been managing since I was six years old. After COVID and the explosion of social media and many individuals getting online diagnoses from online doctors (which is not nearly as effective as in-house evaluations), my medication to manage my ADHD has been in very short supply. I have to go without it every other month because there has been a boom in people who have been diagnosed and prescribed these stimulants. It's very taxing on my body and stress because the medicine I take is a STIMULANT! If I'm not weaned off of it properly, I get gradual withdrawal symptoms that affect my quality of life. These "fakers," when there are enough of them, have real effects on people who actually have these disorders.
From knowing someone closely with DID, there is a reason people with DID want to keep their system secret that I haven’t heard talked about. That system keeps them safe. Part of keeping them safe is making sure that their abusers don’t know about the parts system. So it can be really hard for some people to trust others enough to allow them to see the system and other parts. Keeping it all secret can give an illusion of safety.
I feel like media portrayals of DID are a big influence on people trying to fake having it. As another commenter here pointed out its connection-seeking behavior through desperate means.
@@peachsystem1024 That they should be so completely successful at hiding, considering the symptoms, is the shocking part. For example, 0.7% of the population has been to prison, which is something people usually prefer to conceal, but knowing someone who has been to prison is common. It's incredible that 1% of the population could have a disorder no one's even heard of.
If you’re faking it for attention you need an Audience, if it’s all still happening behind closed doors and you’re not telling anyone you’re not faking it. Also people who are faking it don’t worry about if they’re faking it
Thank you for talking about this. That’s one of the reasons I left the app because as someone with DID it’s easy to spot when someone is faking and it’s so infuriating.
Here is the episode in which I interview someone with DID: ruclips.net/video/8bMUXVFX9Do/видео.html
Kirk, thank you so much for this episode. It’s great to see a balanced and educated view of this issue. I’m calling it an issue as a person living with a DID diagnosis who has felt completely exasperated by some of the Tic Toc videos that seem to romanticise this disorder and actually increase misinformation and stigma. My own experience has been extremely different to those commonly portrayed on social media and I appreciate you taking the time to speak up about what it is really like to live with DID.
Would a deep dive be possible in the future?
@@madnessofkate3802 he already did one.
@@shadowdancer9768 Ah thank you, I must of missed it somehow. I just got an email saying he’s put up a re-run.
Sounds like teenagers going through a phase monkey see monkey do. Could be a background of trauma too, but can’t help them unless they want help.
Edited to add a trigger warning for SA.
I apologize if anyone reading this since last night was triggered.
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And please do not be jealous of us.
I have woken up in the middle of sex with strangers that (to me) I had just one second ago told no to. More than once.
I don't remember my children being small because the person I was then is hiding.
It's not something to want. It isn't "a fun disorder" as someone here called it.
That said, fake claiming is more harmful to my community than those faking their way in.
The way DID works is that it's there to hide your trauma from you. You aren't supposed to know you have it.
Once you accept that you have it, it's completely expected you'll go through feeling like you must be faking, regularly. Other people claiming that DID isn't real, or that someone is faking it, makes it easier for your brain to stop accepting that what's happening is real.
It makes it harder to get the help we need.
If someone is faking, leave them alone and they'll stop eventually.
I'm worried that Tiktok will do to DID and ADHD what Tumblr did to depression, essentially romanticize it and misrepresent it to get attention
Yes this is what I was thinking. The Tumblr depression and anxiety thing made me feel like it was so hard to be taken seriously for extremely deep seeded issues I had, and this is so reminiscent of that. Even though I dealt with my issues for years it wasn't until this last year that I actually got diagnosed with having BPD (I thought it was depression and I was wrong which is why we do not self diagnose) and Panic Disorder. I've started to see videos of people saying they have ADHD but living with my boyfriend who has severe ADHD has made me question a lot of these people's validity. Not saying ADHD isn't experiences differently in different ways, but my boyfriend ADHD really does affect our lives every single day, so it's uncomfortable for me to see it being just... Trivialized? Made like it's a cute little quirky thing? Not to mention how hard it is every single day with both of us having these (I think of them as pretty severe with how much they affect our lives) diagnoses. Like when his ADHD is really bad and it starts stressing me out and I have to fight to control myself from exploding over it. We both have to put in a lot of effort every single day to be able to get through it. It isn't cute or funny or quirky or fun. And it is so bothersome to see that people think of it that way.
Sadly, they already have. Some tiktokers have whole careers based around monetizing ~fun and quirky~ DID videos, with different costumes and dances for each alter.
Adhd is so much more than not being able to sit still and not being able to concentrate.. I really hope people get more educated about mental disorders
They already did that to bpd and eating disorders, it’s frustrating to say the least
i agree!! i think that the embrace of it is good and destigmatizes misconceptions of those disorders (as i also have adhd) but at the same time they bring new stigmas to having those disorders and makes me feel shy about saying I have adhd because of the sheer amount of romanticization and faking of it
I have also noticed people using “dissociate” as a synonym to zoning out, day dreaming, or thinking about something bad. Tik Tok is a place where people spread so much false information about medicine and psychology. I’ve seen so many videos where a person is saying something like, “psychology fact: people with green eyes tend to be more manipulative than people with brown eyes.” So many people take videos like that as true.
but zoning out is a form of dissociation...its a light form but it is its when it gets DEEPER that it becomes a HUGE problem.
@@lulubellpop13 but zoning out is also a very normal occurrence that every person on the planet experiences. I think it’s risky to tell people that their zoning out is really disassociation, which is a serious thing. Self diagnosing is also a super common occurrence on tik tok and is not the best
@@lulubellpop13 There is a difference though between zoning out and dissociation. Like you can zone out and be in your thoughts or not necessarily thinking and it's not a stressful ordeal, and then there's this kind of high-like detached floating through the minutes dissociation that can be an extremely stressful situation. So I can be zoning out during class because I'm bored with the topic, but it isn't like dissociating and not realizing it until I've just punched a dog in the face for surprising me (something I would never do and scared myself by doing).
The word “trauma” is thrown around on tik tok a lot too. They use the word for everyday things. It’s really harmful.
People think zoning out is dissociating?
Damn, wish I had their lives. I do not enjoy the feeling of not being in my own body. The only emotion left being dread. I can't even bother to be sad or anxious about it because I'm just "not there"
Or perhaps what I'm feeling is derealization. Either way, it's awful when I come back to myself.
I'm not all about diagnosing strangers, but I think it's very optimistic to think people don't and won't fake disorders in TikTok for attention. Mostly because it's been done before and some people will try to use the inappropriateness of calling someone out for having a fake disorder and run with it because it can't be called out.
I think the point is, you just don’t know and if they aren’t faking and you call them out because you think they are that just isn’t going to help anyone. I think you just shouldn’t watch and interact with them if you think they are faking it for attention so that way they see that behavior is not going to give them the attention they’re seeking if they are faking.
Omg, hi Kat Blaque! 💛 What an amazing crossover moment.
@@NeverShoutNever45454 I kinda agree with this sentiment of ignoring the person I think that if someone is doing it for attention and you suspect that the best cause of action is to just ignore the person unless you know them personally because obviously something else is going on with them if they feel this need for lying for attention esp to this degree
Also very cool to see kat blaque here chipping in ^^
@@Redpandakiwi yea, I think it’s just shallow thinking to say “omg they’re faking it for attention”. Obviously it’s not acceptable behavior, but if they’re faking it there’s a deeper reason for it, like Dr. Honda said.
DID is real but I'm skeptical of teenagers self-diagnosing DID and presenting it as fun and quirky. It's optimistic to say people wouldn't lie about having DID or other medical disorders. Faking the disorder gives them die-hard followers, a unique identity and a sense of community. There is definitely an incentive there for people to fake having 'fun' disorders (whether they are aware they're faking or not). The presentation in a lot tiktoks is very performative also, like having one outfit for each alter, or having a fluid conversation with between two alters, or adopting someone who is trending as a new 'alter'.
Not to mention one of the most popular did tiktok accs basically lives of his "fame". people send him free stuff all the time. there's plenty of incentives to faking
Having a POSSIBLE DID diagnosis has already ruined my confidence severely, knowing that I went through something that was so traumatic im not myself is so uncomfortable and disgusting. It really scares me knowing it could be real but so far, its a bit too far proven. I wish people would stop.
@@KittenKit1 That's another problem with DID fakers: people who actually have it (or might have it) question themselves even more than the already do, and there is MORE stigma for them because people are on high alert for fakers. Whatever you're going through, I hope you're ok and get good help!
I've seen sooooo many 14 yr olds supposedly having DID, when really they're just making OCs, giving them cool names, cool designs, but saying they're "alters" and uh.. (not saying that if you're diagnosed with DID you're faking it but I've seen this instance so much especially with teens which makes me sad because mental illnesses these days are treated as a trend)
Yeah, as soon as someone presents mental illness as fun and quirky, I instantly write them off as faking it.
No you don't have to be suffering all the time, but any mental illness is going to cause trouble sometimes. They're never all happiness and rainbows.
I have heard the suggestion when parenting to reframe what we see as “attention-seeking behavior” to see it as “connection-seeking behavior”. The same mindset shift could probably benefit adults as well!
That’s great! It makes so much more sense. When people engage in “attention seeking behavior”, they’re acting in desperation to feel close with someone.
Thanks for sharing this!
@@MsJeanneMarie This explains the entirety of my 20's *laugh cry emoji*
@@User-90762 hahaha meeeee too!!
I like that :) Thanks for sharing
It’s the same thing with people faking ptsd on TikTok. I don’t wish ptsd on anyone, it’s miserable. But when I see people “reacting” to “sounds that will trigger your trauma” I just want them to see what it’s really like to live with the consequences of mental illness. Ptsd is not just flinching at sudden noises. It’s not trusting anyone, it’s night terrors, it’s flashbacks, uncontrollable triggers, not going out for days because you were triggered on the way to the grocery store, not wanting to go to bed because you can’t find sleep anyways. It’s therapy, healing over years, regaining trust and worthiness. It’s about healing from your trauma. Not triggering another panic attack/flashback for attention on TikTok.
There's a “reacting” to “sounds that will trigger your trauma” trend on TikTok? ...wow... As I was reading what you wrote I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible that would be to purposefully play sounds that triggered a trauma reaction from me. It hurts just thinking of putting myself through that and what the consequences would be if I did that. ...Why did that even become a trend? What is the goal? Are people just trying to work on their acting reels or something? I'm flabbergasted. I also want to say that your comment was very well said and your clarifications within it are so important. Thank you for posting this comment. Wishing you all the best!
@@kiyavi Yeah like. I get wanting attention and maybe those people are doing it as a form of self-harm, but why would you purposely do this "challenge" if there's a possibility it could trigger you? In my experience, people with PTSD try to avoid their triggers as much as possible bc it's not a pleasant experience to have to deal with a panic/anxiety attack and flashbacks. Just. It doesn't add up, truly.
I don't get why ppl purposefully trigger themselves for views online, like raising awareness is one thing, but I only do that to myself when I'm in a really bad place and then I regret it immediately, it hurts so much, why would u do that to yourself? 😦
And like...someone with PTSD would never want to trigger themselves, like it's not a fun experience. Sounds, sights, etc. Like some things you just don't want to trigger. Even if say someone does it therapeutically to try and move past it, why would you record yourself and post it for people to see you at a very vulnerable state?
Like...in general there are so many people trauma dumping just blasting all this personal stuff on tiktok about being assualted or abused or parents fighting or something
I don't think or want to say they're all lying, I mean I can see...how someone might want to share their experiences like okay but, i mean ...I worry to about like other people finding it, like putting such personal stuff out there with your face showing
Amen 🙏🏻
My bf has DID. He got diagnosed (finally) at 22. His childhood was a living hell. He barely survived. Whilst he had learned important life skills learning about his condition, he would do anything for it to not effect him. It’s not a fun thing. I don’t know how to feel about people using such a traumatic thing as entertainment. But it’s been happening on YT for years too.
how do you date someone when they're not just one person? sorry if that's a dumb question I'm just confused
Agreed. I don’t think this is some phenomenon on tiktok, creators have been manipulating people with DID for years. I also remember when it was a big thing on youtube…..And btw, I know my words carry very little weight, but I really hope your boyfriend is doing a little better now that he’s diagnosed and I can tell you are so compassionate for him. 🤍
I would also be interested in the dynamics of dating someone with different alters. With all due respect 🖤
@@noriii Well I imagine it would differ between systems, but for me and my DID partner it means developing individual relationships with each alter (as they feel comfortable or interested in interacting with me). A system does not come as a package deal, and just because you have a relationship with one or several of them does not mean you are dating all of them. Once you get to know them and their individual quirks and interests, it becomes easier to tell who is fronting (unless they're co-con and really mixed, sometimes they will have trouble telling who's fronting 😆) based on body language/facial expressions etc.
It's not like dating separate "people", as they share a lot of memories and information with each other even if they weren't actively present (the gatekeeper will filter certain things out for certain alters) or they'll inform each other as needed. It's honestly not unlike how our singleton brains will reconcile conflicting perspectives, like if we should stay home and write that essay or say fuck it and go to a party. If we neglect one in favor of the other all the time, it's gonna cause some problems. The main difference is that these different perspectives are personified and cannot see the big picture on their own, which is why cooperative dynamics within systems are imperative to healthy functioning.
As for my personal experience, it has been rich and colorful and beautiful as I get to know all of the unique individuals that make up my partner's system. 💜
@@gabbyb9418 I responded to pixie if you're interested ^^^
To put it in perspective, acting like you have DID or saying you want DID is like saying you want to be s*x trafficked because you're into traveling. There are huge downsides to DID that nobody should imitate or want. Imitation only hurts the victims who actually have DID.
Great analogy
Damn that was brilliant way to put it.
Sadly they don’t care, they do it regardless.
Exactly! I think anyone who wants to fake it should have to go through our trauma! Let's torture these shitheads and make them see the light.
I know what video you’re referencing, and it’s really a perfect analogy. The most important thing to remember about DID, I believe, is that it’s about the trauma, not the alters.
Tbh yes it does hurt me if someone is faking a disorder I have. It's often extremely stigmatizing and promoting misinformation or making a disorder look fun and quirky
So... i have DID and I respect your feelings but also don't feel the same. Mostly, what I'm worried about is how friends and family, ie personal relationships, doctors, nurses, techs, ect. ie care relationships, and finally employers, schools ect ie professional relationships respond to my needs within my disorder. Medical professionals shouldn't be getting their information from random tiktok pages, so someone faking doesn't bother me there. Friends and family, if they have a misunderstanding about how my disorder affects my ability to function, then I can just correct them. The thing thats gebuinely harmful, is fakeclaiming culture. If I bring up DID and my friends and family won't even have a dialog with me because they assume I'm faking and they shouldn't feed that behavior, thats way more harmful than if they got some misinformation from a tiktok. Likewise, if hospital staff feed into that culture then (and I've seen this before not from doctors but certainly from techs) im less likely to be offered help coping when inpatient and instead ignored, dissmissed, and medically neglected. And as far as a professional relationships, if I'm seeking acomodations, such as a consistent schedule instead of shift work that's easier for me to handle with my memory loss, I'd much rather the buisiness not understand the ins and outs of amnesia than assume I'm lazy or attention seeking. In my opinion, its not fakers who harm the community, but the cultural attitude that people should be denied attention and assistance if they are seeking it in unhealthy ways, and fakeclaiming.
Respectfully disagree. As one of those 'tiktok systems' I have in a year of being on tiktok as a system, been fake claimed hundrets of times. And their arguments were always the same as yours. It's not only saying I'm faking a disorder but that I as an indivitual am not REAL. It's saying I made up the people I'm stuck with for the rest of my life. That I made up my trauma and made up my sexual assault. I had to leave tiktok BECAUSE of the mindset you are spreading. And tiktok waa really the only place I could be open about it because in real life, it was not safe.
Yes exactly!
@@justme-ro9of okay but not everyone has it like you. I’m sorry you go have had to go through that though.
@@aliceseleiro9498???
I think it’s mainly the teens who are basically making characters and have a whole laundry list in their phone, it’s roleplay not DID
Like Riley who has 78 alters listed in their notes , one being Ariana grande or storm or fluff who uses (bun/bun self ) pronouns is definitely faking and just having an identity crisis imo
I feel it's kinda sad at least a small number of people who are "apparently" calling for attention "making stuff up" are driven to it because they're ashamed of just having fun roleplaying, because there's so much hate on the internet people who do some stuff for fun get harassed or made fun of, and if you pretend you do stuff like these roleplays because you're "mentally ill" now you have an excuse and you potentially have a bunch of people ready to defend you tooth and nail because they pity you or they feel empathy for your condition
Introjects are real tho, and p common
@@LokiLagoon they definitely are, but the amount of tiktoks that I’ve seen floating around that go along the lines of:
“1,000 this week”
* the next week *
“2000”
???
@@theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella yeah but the Luna person was saying "78 alters" is a weirdly large amount of alters (it's large but doesn't mean someone is faking) and that ONE being an introject is too many
For those who has the disorder, I can’t imagine how extremely scary it must be to feel yourself dissapear in order to make space for another person so to speak. And the intense trauma they must have went through to develop this disorder.
As someone with DID, it is terrifying at first. I denied that I had it for months because every time an alter would introduce themselves to me, I would just tell myself that I had an over-active imagination and would immediately forget about it. Eventually, I had to accept it because my little alter, Mouse, kept coming out around people and because she’s 6 she talks like a kid and it’s so embarrassing. Now, I’ve accepted it and while it’s still scary, I have learned about my alters and we trust each other. I know that my alters would never do anything to try to hurt me because we’re all on the same team. In terms of trauma, I actually have no memories of childhood trauma but I can tell that some of my little alters are holding some dark memories that they are keeping from me so there’s probably something there.
another system with DID here! the first time we became system aware it felt very strange and alien, but also somewhat exhilarating because we finally had an explanation for most of our problems. now it feels quite comforting, and switching isnt scary at all. we dont 'disappear to make space' for another person, we share a drivers seat and use switching between conciousness'/alters as a tool to help us survive and live more comfortably- its all in collaboration with eachother! alters arent scary OR the problem, healthy multiplicity is very much a thing, the trauma that got us to this point is the scary part. though switching and the dissociation between switches can be pretty disorientating 🤢 we've def bumped our head a few times cause we weren't paying attention during a switch lol
And.... another DID system.
Hi I'm Tonya/Host Shattered Bones System.
A scary part for me is getting in the car fully aware and feeling grounded.... then, fronting or (becoming conscious) in a unfamiliar Town far away from my home or place I intended to go.
This typically happens on my wAy to see my Psychologist. He said "A part" of me doesn't want me to work with him or get better. 😓
It is incredibly unnerving and frustrating.
Fortunately, my Son drives me to my appointments for now.
Thank you for having such a compassionate response. It was terrifying when I first became aware of it. I was (still am) the host, I had no idea I had a dissociative disorder, and when I figured it out and was professionally diagnosed, I was just becoming an adult. It was so scary, it still can be scary sometimes even though we've been in treatment for it and our traumas for a while now. But for the most part, when we aren't in horrible flashbacks or freaking out about something, we all try our best to work together, and I have close friendships with many of the others in the system now. There can be some beauty in it, despite all the pain. It isn't a fun disorder, but we're creating love and peace and safety we weren't given in our childhood as a team.
Hey, yet another system!
We are the Alphabet System and I (Mo) am a gatekeeper.
Our host at the time was so frightened when they first researched about DID. At the time, they had thought that the other alters were their imagination and that they were maladaptive daydreaming. After a while, doing more research and talking with other alters, we found ways to survive. After a suicide attempt, Jay (host) realised we weren't here to harm them/others (due to stigma) but here to protect.
Now, in therapy, we have started talking about our different traumas and triggers. Jay had thought there was only one trauma (that began while we were 9) but there are actually 8 traumas all together (beginning at the earliest of 3). *idk if I include attempts with traumas* but those 8 are traumas caused by a different person.
It does get tricky time to time with headaches, disorientation, regular dissociative/depersonalization/derealization symptoms, and also stigma. We are on tiktok, working on ways to introduce all the alters and ways to de-stigmatize our disorder(s). We try to include humor as a way to draw people in so they can understand. I try to educate others anyway I can.
We have yet learn how to communicate, but we are doing well.
I hope you are well also
I think that the people who are faking it aren't faking the miserable parts. The people who fake it are in control so they don't have to worry about randomly switching altars or suffering from disassociation and nausea. Some people just want/need attention and DID is a hot topic right now so it's a relatively easy way to get attention, even if it's negative. Plus some people digitally self harm and gat something from the negative attention
the main difference is rapid switching/voluntary switching. i would assume most people actually diagnosed wouldn't do that.
@Funny Username i mean I dont imagine that would be pleasant but people who fake did act like it's all some rp going on in their head and not the trauma response it's meant to be. Or even confusing it w schizophrenia basically
I agree! I'm Mo, a gatekeeper for the Alphabet System. While on social media, you mainly wanna share the good parts, trying to not stigmatize. Since we are on social media, and having persecutors, we try to share how persecutors aren't always bad. What we don't share is the fact that just last night, a persecutor was stressing an alter out so much that the alter almost ripped off a nail (that was attached to our nail bed) due to derealization/stress.
We tell our friends who know about our disorder (one actually brought the disorder to our attention) saying how much we hate having alters. We've sobbed on the bathroom floor due to relapsing because someone didn't care about the repercussions of self harm.
We have persecutors who have controlled our dreams and made us have recurring nightmares, weeks in a row.
And the switching, omfg.
Littles being triggered at yelling.
Protectors getting triggered through littles fronting.
It's so hard to get new friends because a majority don't like them or they give off bad vibes (we've had an ex sexualise one of our littles who is 5).
And we wish we could control our disorder. We wish that we didn't have it. We wish we didn't have trauma. We wish we didn't have littles or persecutors or protectors or hosts, we just wish we were alone. Alone in the head and alone in the world.
I hope you are well
I kinda side eye the trend of intentionally trigger an alter trauma or forcing other alter to fronting. Sometime i feel awful bc it's not many concrete information about this disorder yet and still come with so many stigma around it.
@@SpecialBlanket Are you officially diagnosed? You're not supposed to be able to "talk" with alters afaik. I mean, that would be schizophrenia, not DID
During my childhood, around the time the movie Sybil released, my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Definitely traumatizing and disturbing to witness the constant switching from one personality to another (female to male, adult to child), seeing the self-harm/cutting and suicide attempts, and other horrific behaviors that a child should never be exposed to.
I'm so happy you're still here, thank you for sharing and I really hope you can have a happy healthy life :)
@Funny Username She wasn't talking about BPD being called MPD, but DID used to be known as MPD.
Thats awful, I hope you're healing
@Funny Username she said her mom had both MPD(DID) & BPD.
I can't even imagine how scary that would be on a child. I hope your well!
I don’t have DID, but I do dissociate under certain stressors, I know I’m me and I know my reality, but the world doesn’t feel real and my body feels strange, emotionless, it’s incredibly scary and not fun
that's is scary indeed. Same here, and the most terrifying thing for me was to do don't remembering the things I did or didn't do that could really hurt people by causing an accident or so. Hope you are getting the support you deserve!!!!
I dissociate sometimes when I either have to many panic attacs or very intense ones. I kind of like it to be honest. It gets me out of the situation immediately and it feels surreal, e.g. like a robot in autopilot mode or like the matrix or simply a dream. At the end I sometimes worry that I won't be able to get out of it though.
Dissociating was a scary thing for me especially before I was given the word for it, like I had heard of dissociation but I didn't realize that was the thing that I had been experiencing. It's only really with intense stress for me, but it can be different for me each time, which I guess is part of why I had a hard time being able to say what it is (it was actually a therapist of mine who explained to me that that was what my experiences were). Sometimes it can just be me feeling my body being slightly different from where it actually is (I still don't know how to explain this one in the best words but someday I'll figure it out) and sometimes it's like this detached high feeling with like no emotions or anything just like floating and existing there but not necessarily being present.
Samesies. It totally sucks.
I think that's called derealization and it's extremely common.
As a psych nurse we do not commonly see DID, we do see a lot more teenagers claiming it. It seems more it is claimed by those with borderline patients. I wish that people wouldn’t fake any mental health issues because it is a very serious thing many people have to go through.
Yeah, I think BPD is unfortunately more common than diagnosed. I've seen a few people in my life presenting traits of it by the books, but only one of them was diagnosed, and that was after several misdiagnosis of depression, bipolar, PTSD, etc.
It makes sense that BPD patients do that because of the identity disturbance aspect of BPD. I know autism is also occasionally self-diagnosed among those with BPD too.
I have bpd and I do dissociate, this is why I would never fake did. In general, i would never fake any other mental illness. I think it's just morally incorrect and I'm ashamed to hear that so many others do so... bpd is so painful already idk how people could fake did, knowing their pain is even worse. Way worse.
BPD looks like multiple personalities, or how most lay people would assume those of us with DID present.
Having covert DID, I will switch if I'm triggered, but nearly 100 percent of the time that's to maintain an appearance of calm.
The more upset I am, the calmer I seem.
@@Nakia11798 it's more common than anerorexia right?
I see this with BPD as well. People don’t understand that you need to have SEVERE REPEATED ABUSE. Your parents grounding you for doing dr*gs or other sh*t isn’t abuse or trauma likeee
1,000% yes
small correction: it doesnt have to be abuse, just any kind of trauma. having your house burn down, witnessing deaths, war, natural disasters etc all contribute
Though I don't agree with your statement (because sometimes it's how you are programmed)... It's disappointing when someone's faking it. How do we trust people anymore?
@@MC-tl5bf would instances of self destructive and self harming behavior due to depression be considered trauma?
@@majortom4711 yes that is trauma. i dont think we talk enough about how mental illness itself can generate trauma. and this applies to both other people being mentally ill and yourself being mentally ill
I do think among teens, there is actually a positive aspect to faking DID, which is attention. There is very little social cost because they are still at home so don't have to worry about economic impact and social stigma stigma is already present no matter what teens do. So I could see faking DID being rare among adults, but more common among teens.
I remember a girl from my freshman year of college. She was desperate for attention. She would pretend to have DID with an alter that was a british man and have small seizures/moments of passing out (conveniently only when she had all her friends with her and was not in class or outside.) It was really difficult to watch knowing she felt she had to basically put on this performance everyday just to feel attention or like she was special.
@@KennyChesty She could be faking but those seizures you describe are a symptom of functional neurological disorder which is a real disorder that is very common with people with DID and gets worse under observation. I’m just saying that her symptoms line up with what we would expect from a genuine presentation.
100% agree with you!
My ex was an attention seeker and thought he had DID (but it wasn't like DID at all). He would call himself "we" and acted like he had a board of people in his head giving him input on everything and sometimes they would come out. When we fought, occasionally I he would slip into this super mean personality with a bit of an accent? I think german??? I absolutely hated it. I still cringe thinking about the look on his face and the voice. Bleh
@@hazeld8016 They were nothing like seizures but that is what she called them. I saw her most of the day since we had many of the same classes. They always happened at convenient times and magically ended exactly when her friends moved on from talking about it. There was so much more to it than just that which really made it clear that it was for attention but I still feel for her. She had a lot of issues stemming from her being adopted into a family with many biological children, although she never admitted it. I didn't stay connected with her but I hope she's doing okay now.
26:24 "no one would want to fake that, no one would want to have that much misery in their life"
I think the misery comes from actually having the mental illness
I think there's confusion because for most of the video he's responding to this person concluding that *every single person said to have DID is either faking or brainwashed by a therapist* - debunking that. We're waiting for his take on the tiktok kids' shenanigans, and he does eventually briefly address it and say some seem to be faking, but that's obviously not the part he's very interested in. Understandable priority but could've been clearer.
@@Suzanne4415 Yes! I agree with this so much. The person who requested for him to do this had a lot of malice in their message towards DID and was heavily implying that the disorder as a whole doesn't exist. I feel like he did the right thing by prioritizing debunking their malice but he could have been more clear that he was doing that. Tiktok has done a lot of hard for the DID community and although Im not a system I've seen the effects of it through my girlfriend, ad its made it harder for her to make friends who also have DID who aren't carrying toxic delusions of inner world connectivity and other ideas that are meant to pull systems further out of reality and overall fuck them up in the head entirely. It doesn't help that people without the disorder see these things and believe that that's all DID therefore the disorder is fake.
@@SpecialBlanket my girlfriend knew some people who believed their inner worlds were connected and their alters could visit each other. She had gotten her first covid vaccine around that time too so it really fucked with her and its overall a toxic mindset that really messed the system up for a moment. Apparently that shit was popularized by tiktok.
@@phoenixreinle9398 the odd part of my system is at times we are able to see my friends system, I have one alter who is able to see different alters that aren’t part of my system and I don’t know how? I do In a way but it was hard to grasp around. I had to ask this other system if the same happened to his system and surprisingly it also happened to him.
That alter talks often to my boyfriend of different alters he’s seen in different systems (only irls that I know of)
@@phoenixreinle9398 I haven’t heard of that being viral on tik tok..I’m not on that side of Tik Tok fuck
I believe that the disorder exists, but an abusive ex faked having DID and used it to manipulate me. I’m suspicious of anyone who claims to have the disorder because of this.
i’m so sorry you went through that. Hoping you healed from that 🤲🏽
This^ Plus, faking it causes problems for people who actually have it. It creates myths and stigmas, many of which makes people with DID look evil or bizarre. It makes people think ALL DID is fake or even that all mental illness is fake.
I had a similar experience. I hate that it's impacted my trust of others, but it it what it is.
I understand your wariness. Just try not to let it get the best of you, because there are plenty of people with actual DID who are really good people.
Listen... anyone who has DID has been in Trauma Therapy for a very long time. It took my Trauma Team nearly 10 years to correctly Diagnosis me with DID.
Toxic People use a Fake Diagnosis to excuse their Shitty Behavior.
I assure you I am responsible for everything I say and do even if I am not Conscious of it.
You see most of us with DID have been through so much Trauma we would never think about hurting anyone.
And I am Still in Trauma Therapy weekly.
In the future do not believe people who are not Actively in Therapy. And do not excuse bad behavior...I don't care what their Diagnosis is.
A lot of people's negative opinion on the existence of DID comes from its prevalence on social media where faking disorders is extremely common, to which its understandable to be skeptical. I blame those people more than the skeptics.
Edit: this has been going on for much longer than the emergence of tiktok. And I find it odd that he turns it around on people calling this out rather than the people actually faking.
its also because of the movie Sybil. It was literally all based on a lie yet that movie led to an insane spike in people being diagnosed with DID. like, if the recent movie Split had the same impact people would be suspicious. not to mention all the times its been found out that a quack therapist was actually pushing the diagnosis on people who don't have it
I agree, I have seen this trend online at least since 2010. And with not just DID, other disorders too. On Tumblr, there used to be a whole community of people who collected self-dxed diagnoses on their bio as some type of badges of honor in their pain olympics. Most were teenagers who probably grew out of it, but alarmingly many adults were there as well.
I, too find it weird and honestly somewhat aggravating that he turns it on people calling this behavior out rather than the people actually faking/glorifying these disorders. Yes, obviously there is something wrong with a person who is willing to fake something like this. But that does not at all make the faking harmless. Also, the people calling these actions out are never the ones saying that DID is ''fun and quirky'' - quite the opposite. It is EXACTLY BECAUSE they are not fun or quirky that faking them for attention is so bad.
I had a hard time being diagnosed with another disorder as my doctor was somewhat aware of this trend and had to make sure I was not one of those.
Yeah I totally agree. Because of all the misinformation from social media, movies, tv shows, ect. a lot of people don't even believe this entire, painful disorder exists. Although, I do think people should be more responsible and do their own research when it comes to important medical topics like this.
I don't think people faking on socials is really the problem, especially when there's no actual way to tell besides them making you feel weird. The problem that we should be squashing is not people trying to talk about an experience but egotistical people who decided that the end all be all of reality is whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. The culture of fakeclaiming is what's stigmatizing, and we're feeding into our own stigmatization if we canabalize our community.
@@wren4741 yeah, I definitely remember that happening to the trans community a few years back, and I can see patterns repeating in this one, but I just hope it's different. It seems like it to me, but claims of fakers in the trans community may have been legitimate in the beginning too, until we became overly exclusive and policing every gendered behavior a person has. I think the main reason this guy is more concerned about fake claiming is because fakers might be an issue online, but fake claimers are way more prevelent in real life. You might have witnessed someone you know faking, or see people online doing it, and think you have to proper judgement now, and end up calling people close to you fakers when they actually have an illness. It happens to a lot of people unfortunately. Like my mom gets all of her knowledge of mental Illness from movies, and crazy people on the street that she had to deal with, so now that I have it, she doesn't believe me, and when I was at really bad points and got a bit unstable, she was more prepared to hurt me than help me. And that's exactly what happened.
I think part of the reason why people become so angry when they accuse people of faking DID is because of the trauma and suffering DID patients went through to get their conditions and the ongoing trauma they are going through. Like, DID isnt just “OMG SHERLOCK HOLMES IS MY ALTER YALL!!” But like the alters are made and truly take away from a person’s life as a result of many years of abuse from an early age. DID is really a tragic disorder when you really think about it and teenagers making it into something “QuIrKy aNd TrEnDy” is honestly super insulting to DID patients pain.
This doesn’t excuse bullying a child, but it does need to be called out. Like I’m not accusing any specific person of faking, but if anyone is faking, they really need to think about it and stop. Like if you want to make TikToks about your favorite characters and play pretend that way, cool! Just don’t drag mental illness into it.
Because the dreamsmp system who never discussed it before it became a trend, draws out their headspace and developes 200+ alters and claims you don’t need trauma to have DID is definitely real and valid
I mean.. you might not need trauma to have DID but you'd need to be so bored and nothing to do that it basically becomes traumatic... I think that's just called a 'psychological break' though
@@spongmongler6760 part of the criteria for developing D.I.D. is on-going childhood trauma before the ages of 5-7. So, no you can't have D.I.D. without trauma.
@@spongmongler6760 you literally need trauma to have DID...
@@phantompizza learn how to read
@@spongmongler6760 You need childhood trauma to develop D.I.D.
I'm also pretty sure psychotic breaks are caused by mental disorders, not the other way around.
16:40 It definitely feels harmful if I don't want to tell people about my disabilities because they might group me in with the kids on tiktok saying certain music is diagnosing them with ADHD, ASD, and the like.
UGH omg that shit is so annoying. I am diagnosed with both autism and ADHD, and as a classically trained pianist I do not understand what the deal is with those videos. 😂
Indeed, that subculture is on RUclips aswell, its related to the alot of the playlists build containing music that is supposedly meant to convey what its like to live with the different disorders. These playlists are often tied to life events aswell, such as the traumacore communities. I can't quite grasp if these are unhealthly gloryfying mental illness or helping, but in my case. I feel like alot of the playlists actually help. I have autism, tourettes, anxiety, depression and i have endured alot of bad things througout my life, i also have almost all of the symptoms of DP/DR but don't have that diagnosed. Alot of the playlists contain music that i find relaxing or to know that somone made the playlists as an attempt to cope along with others is kind of relieving, the comment sections are filled with people like me who suffer as a result of thier disabilities, if they actually have them that is. Which diagnoses do you have?
I told my boss and my coworkers that I had "multiple personality disorder", because I was trained to report fluctuations or concerns with my mental status, especially if they affect my job performance. After that I didn't mention it. Sometimes they have to retrain me.
The reason people have a visceral reaction to suspected fakers is not an enigma. Faking mental illness, faking Nurodivergence, faking disorders does real harm to the people who have them. It shapes public perception from an ill informed perspective leaning on tropes and stereotypes which will discourage people from seeking treatment and make the community have to yell 10 times louder just to have their genuine story heard over the fake noise. Self advocacy is already hard enough for people who are struggling day to day, they don’t need bored kids with overactive imaginations making their public image worse than the stigmatic perception that is currently prevalent in today’s society.
“Why am I so worked up about this?” Well, it de-legitimizes the disorder. It makes it increasingly difficult for those individuals living with an illness to be taken seriously. Yes fakery can come from a place of pain, but there’s still a large amount of people who are not doing it from a place of pain, they’re doing it to farm attention and pity. Especially when those faking a disorder hyperbolize and exaggerate the symptoms, it can cause very real harm to the real people living with the condition by making it ‘competitive’. If the general population is led to believe that people with DID are constantly swapping alters in dramatic fashion, then those affected who either have more subdued symptoms or have gone through the hard work of managing them become marginalized. It’s the same thing that happened with depression; people are far less inclined to believe I have a real brain chemistry issue and more inclined to believe that I’m either just lazy or trying to garner sympathy and attention which often leads to issues ranging from misunderstanding to outright hostility/abuse. People with DID need to be treated with care and respect, and when people become too desensitized by witnessing false behavior, those things go out the window. The blows of reluctance to believe, misunderstandings, hostility, and the *stigma* will be rained down upon those who are most vulnerable. I’m a little dumbfounded that someone so knowledgeable could ignore these very obvious issues. I’m not questioning your credentials, but I am questioning your thought process.
yes!! thank you!!
fucking yes!
Yes!!! 10000%.
Psychiatrist here. I came across your video while educating myself on what’s going on with DID on social media as I’ve had 3 patients in the last month come in saying they have DID. I love your description of the association of trauma and dissociation. I’m a big Perry and Van Der Kolk fan. Anyway, my concern is about contagion phenomena. While all 3 of my pts had some mild trauma in the home, none of them had ever endorsed any dissociative sx’s let alone DID sx’s until this started blowing up on TikTok. And they all give the same description of their experience like they’re regurgitating the videos they’ve watched. Anyway, maybe it is legit, but I’m definitely worried that this could end up distracting from the primary underlying issues.
Second thing, what’s your source for how to treat it? I was taught that you try to integrate into a single personality, but would love to keep on top of it if there’s updated research showing that there are other more productive ways.
Thanks in advance for any insight you can add!
I wonder what would happen if you stuck in some treatment for narcissism as well, but without telling them that it’s for narcissism because god forbid they wouldn’t have any possibility that they could be narcissistic
I think part of it might be due to confirmation bias. Until downloading tiktok I knew very little about DID, but somehow it's become a huge part of my feed now
Tiktok's algorithm notices which videos you watch for longer (even if it's out of morbid curiosity) and keeps showing you similar content. I kinda experienced this too. I got a few tiktoks about Adhd symptoms, watched them, thought "hm, i struggle with attention too, although not these other symptoms so I probably don't have it." But then because I watched those videos they keep showing up again and again. And each time you see them, you question again, "do i have it? Could i?" i can see how people could genuinely be convinced they might have something under those circumstances, especially if they are genuinely struggling and looking for a possible explanation for their mental problems
@@minihwas TikTok seems like it's actually dangerous for the youth.
I'm curious, what were the symptoms they claimed? I'm understanding it sounded like they followed a strict template to describe their experiences and how they presented themselves, what exactly was that?
I know the question wasn't directed to me but look into "functional multiplicity"
It’s fake dude. Cut
The
Crap.
Everything he describes about real DID directly contradicts what TikTokers demonstrate. He says people with DID have nothing to gain, yet TikTokers gain tons of followers, positive attention, and even sometimes money. He says people with DID don't know they have nor seek out a DID diagnoses, yet that's exactly what TikTokers do--they claim they have DID w/o or before ever getting a real diagnosis. He says it's not fun to have DID, yet that's exactly how TikTokers present it: like it's a fun and quirky role-paying session. He says switching is distressing, yet TikTokers switch on-command to make silly "introduction videos" and are clearly having a great time. Also it's not comparable to faking depression, since depression doesn't come with pretending to be a bunch of fun or cool OC's and cartoon characters.
"If someone tells me they're sad, how do I know they're not faking it"
Okay, but how do *✨I✨* know I'm not faking being sad????
hey fun answer: you dont. you dont really know. the same way you dont know if you're just a brain plugged into a system so u experience a simulation. all your life you MAY have internalized sadness being an emotion others experience so much that you imitate it, even to yourself. you MAY be faking your sadness, even to yourself. fun, right? who knows if what you experience is real in comparison to others? i sure dont! its just best to assume what you feel is real at least on the level that you are truly experiencing it, and move on. anyways, i dont get what youre saying. are you arguing against the existence of DID, or do you just find his argument faulty?
@@user-nk2yn2hh6h neither, I’m simply in a constant state of existential crisis rooted in constantly questioning whether my own experiences reflect reality: ie, am I actually feeling/thinking/experience this or am I just making it up or being dramatic for attention? Because I have a crippling history of trauma and mental illness~
Also, it’s a funny sarcastic response and was the first thing my brain said when I got to that part of the video, not anything that was meant to be read into that deeply
S A M E
ME
@@user-nk2yn2hh6h But what if the truth is both? That is DID. That is me.
"How is this effecting you?"
*Looks at the three systems in the chatrooms I run, one who has a fictive alter who has threatened roommates with a hatchet, one who is co-fronting with all six of his alters after self diagnosing six months ago, and another who is encouraging all of this as 'normal' system behavior.*
I actually came here looking for the answers to the questions that email posed, and you've actually given zero answers. I fully support people who have real DID, like the Kaleidoscope System down there. (You are doing amazing, you might not see this, but you should be very proud of what you've accomplished and the sheer amount of work you have put in.)
But this is seriously getting to the point where it is becoming harmful like negative media portrayals of DID are harmful, and I'm about ready to kick someone out because they are encouraging self diagnosis while DISCOURAGING therapy, and I know I'm going to be called ablest for it, and I just don't care anymore.
That’s what’s upset me about this too. I don’t have DID, nothing even close. But I have a multitude of obsessive and anxiety driven disorders. I remember it being so painful and embarrassing to have to do my compulsions no matter who was around. I HAD to. I later developed body dysmorphic disorder which caused me to obsessively pick my acne until they became large wounds and refused to go to school out of fear and anxiety. People never really took it serious, they acted like I just was being difficult or that I wanted to draw attention to myself and play a victim but in reality It felt like life or death to me. And then people started making ocd some kind of quirky cute thing about being meticulous. And used body dysmorphic disorder as a term to describe regular insecurities. I’m angry at this TikTok fake disorder phenomenon because it serves to cause the people who invalidated my stuggles and all of us who have mental disorders’ struggles to think they were correct in doing so. Also the encouragement of these tiktokers to self diagnose is disturbing because if I had never gotten medicated or had therapy, I wouldn’t be alive right now. I’m worried people who have serious disorders either will self diagnose themselves incorrectly or be correct in their assumption but think they don’t need help. and that could have devastating consequences
Right. Because these people faking it have the biggest fucking mouths. most of them have some serious social defect and use DID to make themselves a "victim".
He didn’t say that nobody was faking it, to be fair
It is harmful and it does bother me because as someone with a professional diagnosis of a complicated disorder (not of DID) who has been through a lot of childhood trauma and misdiagnosis and years upon years of therapy to even remotely know what's wrong with me, they're (pardon my french) kicking me in the balls by saying "I don't need a diagnosis, I diagnosed myself." just because they want attention.
yes, they probably have different issues of their own, but that doesn't excuse what they're doing. they're further stigmatizing an already very stigmatized disorder and topic by faking to have this just to live out their roleplay fantasy for attention.
Please know that DID and OSDD are misdiagnosed constantly. There's a huge stigma against them and alot of ignorance. Also the disorder itself tries to hide and be covert.
I find this with Tourette’s as well. Which is harmful to people who actually have it
I think you’re missing the point. Yes no one wants to fake a horrible experience like that. That’s not what the tiktokers are doing. They’re glamorizing it and using it as a role playing device. I get that you’re a professional and you have to watch what you say but no one is saying these people aren’t experiencing SOMETHING, just that DID is probably not what’s going on. You also kinda skipped over the issues of self diagnosis and fic/factives, I would’ve liked a more in-depth look at that.
This is how I feel
Commenting to boost
There are of course tiktokers who fake the disorder but I will say people who don't have DID or know anyone with it have no basis to criticize self diagnosis or fac/fictives. I'm dating someone who is self diagnosed with the disorder but there is REASON for this. She has no reason to fake it and often hid it to appease other. She has a system full of fictives and factives as well. You have to realize that the alters that form are completely out of the host's control. The brain takes familiar experiences and creates alters and places in inner world because of that. DID is also horribly taboo, making diagnosis EXTREMELY hard. As people will often minimize it to insanity or attention seeking or delusions. While im not familiar with the severity of the DID community in tiktok, you have to realize that you can't ask a psychologist to go in depth about topics such as that because it is more complex than right or wrong. The truth is that the disorder is stigmatized to such a degree that even professionals can't always have the answers for it. I would advise you to take your questions to an actual system (given you know they are real) and come up with a consensus there. You can't rely on someone without the disorder to answer all your questions.
A lot of people with DID also have a hard time getting diagnosis because of the environments they are in. Most won't get a diagnosis until at least early adulthood because since the diagnosis is caused by horrible repeated trauma, they usually aren't in the proper environment to get help for their condition.
@@phoenixreinle9398 I’m sure your girlfriend “actually has DID” and totally “isn’t faking”
Thank you for addressing this. When I was in grad school, I had a client with DID, and similar to what you described, they were mostly unaware/did not understand what was happening to them and instead sought treatment for other depression and ptsd related symptoms. It wasn’t until our first deeply emotional session that I noticed the DID symptoms. Sessions were intense and the pain and suffering this person experienced is still to this day like nothing I’ve seen before. I understand that it’s easy to be skeptical, but it pains me to hear people speak of DID like it’s a myth.
There are communities/RUclips videos entirely centered around young kids “getting/giving each other DID” via “subliminals” and other methods. And sooo many people who “have DID” online are incredibly young - far too young to have well communicating systems. Many of these kids are going to grow out of this within the next year or so, though. The only worry is the damage it does to further stigmatize people who live with this trauma disorder. I think it’s usually pretty clear when someone is just far too young to have the presentation of DID they claim to have and are just being kids on the internet - in those cases, just pay them no mind. Calling individual people out does nothing but potentially harm people with the disorder and I think we just need to continue to make sure we are promoting experts and making sure people have access to the resources they need.
I was in an abusive relationship as a young teen with someone who pretended to have DID to try and manipulate me and get away with their actions towards me. It was deeply traumatic and scary.
The same is going on with autism. I'm autistic, and it DOES hurt me when the mayority of the "ActUaLlyAuTIstIc" people online are faking it, because I know that I won't be taken seriously anymore, not even in a crucial situation when I know that my only, last chance to explain myself is my diagnosis, and then am laughed at. A few weeks ago people called the police after a severe "overload"/"meltdown", and when I told them of my diagnosis, one of the cops just said, "uh, another one!", laughing. Something like that didn't happen 10 or even just 5 years ago. And it's not the "fakeclaiming" or "gatekeeping" that does the damage, it's the faking. Period.
To be fair, it seems like the cop was the one at fault here. If you tell an officer you’re having a mental health episode and their reaction is to tell you that you’re faking it, then that cop isn’t doing their job.
Another thing is that autism is overly romanticised online - you get a good portion of actually autistic people who've bought into the narrative that it's a superpower or that it's normal people that are flawed. I couldn't deal with the subreddit for autism, because at times it almost had undertones of supremacism, which was wild for something that started as a medical disorder.
These notions obviously started from a good place, it's a good thing to acknowledge the positives as well as the negatives that come as part of having autism. The problems come when you have a large number of autistic people within an echo chamber/in-group who've been repeatedly fed the idea that autism makes them a special class, and it often results in dismissive behaviour towards "allistics" and an unwillingness to acknowledge that ways they affect others is a result of anything but intolerance.
I've no degrees in psychology, but I've noticed a lot of motives for people that fake disorders. They can be more than one, of course. These reasons tend to be
-a desire to be unique
-wanting to fit a label for a sense of belonging
-justifying not fitting in
-confusing cognitive dissonance with different personalities rather than one's own identity facing said CD
-riding trends
I have DID (I’m also 19 so I’m a young adult) and it seems like a fun disorder to the outside. I receive so much shit like ‘Oh that sounds so cool’.
It is actually horrible. I struggle to accept that my brain is built the way it is and the memories flashbacks that come along with having the disorder. It isn’t fun and being an alter/having other head mates isn’t meant to be quirky or trendy. In fact, having other head mates isn’t the main issue I got with having the disorder. The main issue is the fact that everyone who has abused and harmed me as a kid, I can’t remember them. I remember what happened like a film and pieces are missing that I need to fill in over time. By the time that you’ve done that and got the persons name, it’s too late.
🫂 hugs 😔
Having DID is a constant struggle. There's nothing quirky or fun about it.
I feel like that’s more narcissistic trend. They will pretend to be anyone raither than to be themselves. I believe ( from my own experience of course) that individuality is often get suppressed by society in general and many people as well. People grow up less understanding who they are and what they feel, maybe only fragmented feelings are left that they call dissociative personality disorder
Absolutely. They see these different aspects of who they are, and if they don't fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, they question if it's really them or something/someone else.
Like sometimes I do things and later I don't know WHY, but I know it was me. It was me being irrational because I was upset, or me dissociating from being overwhelmed and not totally knowing what I was doing. The whole time, I'm still me though.
I accept that I have many aspects of my personality and that sometimes those change a bit if I'm in a bad mental state.
I think a lot of people who fake DID online actually have histrionic personality disorder... But that's just my own hypothesis.
Um. No.
Thanks for covering this. It’s distressing to know that this is happening. It’s already so hard to be taken seriously when you have DID, this is only making it harder.
I wonder how much of this kind of attention-seeking behavior among kids and teens (described in the video and in the comments) correlates with insufficient opportunities for imaginative play. There's such a pernicious web of problems facing kids navigating the modern Internet, not the least of which is how omnipresent it is, and I don't want to start wildly throwing out hypotheses here. I guess my point is when I hear about kids doing things like pretending to/convincing themselves they have DID, or the reality-shifting thing, what I see is kids who desperately need imaginative play and make-believe and feel the need to somehow justify it through an identity label.
God. Every day I become more convinced that letting children and teens use social media in its current state is a form of neglect. I have really fond and formative and beneficial memories of online spaces when I was growing up, but those were either forum communities that were moderated by real members of the community or small (10-20 people) circles of friends who leveraged social power among each other and at least attempted to resolve conflicts directly. Mega-platforms where everything is public and the most viral content wins are a completely different animal. We need to do better.
I'm honestly scared of just how mentally troubled the NEXT generation is going to be... my age group just barely escaped the worst of it, I think. We primarily grew up on Minecraft and Black Ops, not TikTok or Twitter.
you can blatantly tell some of these kids faking it for attention with their poc or disabled or lgb alters like stop taking advantage of marginalized communities for attention/to feel included....
i- lgb???
Funny when their LGBT alters are conveniently asexual too 🤣
As a person with DiD this comment bothers me cause you can have a alter who is a different race than the body. We don't have one in our system (at least I think right now? I don't know everyone tbh...) but its not impossible. Same with disabilities and sexuality/gender. I'm just bothered a bit- people like you say this stuff as if you know its true when there's evidence that contradicts what you just said here. Again alters can be anything; a fictional character, a real life person, someone with a different race, disability. Even some of us in the system can speak different languages while others can only speak English. And not all of us in the system are pansexual like the host or transgender like he is. I just want you to realize we're still valid even if all the alters aren't the same as the host/core alter. It doesn't make us less human. But yeah, I really hate people who fake it cause they don't understand how horrible it is to deal with, it gets super bad on certain days where we get panic attacks or headaches... :/ i hope anyone reading this has a good day though! /pos
@@GrimoireRose um ok so say you have an alter that's 'Chinese' but your body is white (or whatever else) and your brain's lived experience is only that of a white person in a western country... Do i still have to respect that alter? When my whole life I've had to live as a POC? What if that alter is formed entierly by racist stereotypes, like a dragon lady or submissive Asian woman? I know the ridicule a poc body would get for asking to be treated as white. I can understand it's a mental illness - that alter was created due to trauma, and it's not voluntry. With that explaination I'd give more leeway, for sure. But you have to be a bit more empathetic to people with the real lived experiences that your systems alters take on! Same for disability, gender identity etc. Although an alter isn't something you can just take off, there's a lot more nuance than 'I'm/we're mentally ill, deal with it' esp when stuff like race and skin color come into play.
@@farialebowski2459 there's actually been a lot of education on this subject in the DID community, through BIPOC systems, and BIPOC friends in the last 16 months.
In the inner world, alters can see themselves as anything.
It's harmful to claim a culture that isn't your lived experience, though, so it's important that systems change the way we talk about our alters that don't have the lived experience of a culture or race they see themselves as.
Often, these alters are introjects.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and the anger and sadness I feel when I see all the people faking adhd/adhd symptoms on tiktok is unbelievable. I hate seeing my mental illness misrepresented or romanticized. I cannot imagine how hurtful all this faking must be for people with DID, which is a much more destabilizing and stigmatized disorder then ADHD.
My 14 year old child is heavily involved in communication with someone online who claims to have DID. My child is autistic, has generalized anxiety disorder and some other troubles, and is making herself sick just memorizing every single thing about this person and their alters online. They met in a role playing game, and during part of the role play, one of my child’s characters supposedly materialized as a new alter for the other “kid”. So my child feels somewhat responsible. I just found out how deeply involved this is, because of how much sleep my child has been missing, nothing else matters to her, her self esteem has taken a dive, and she’s showing what looks exactly like addictive behavior. I know she started out trying to help someone, and she doesn’t know how to make friends irl because her autism makes it hard for her to understand when she has a real friend.
Aside from cutting her completely off of the internet and going cold turkey, I don’t know how to help her. She’s being harmed, and I don’t know if this person actually has DID, or even if this person is a real child of the same age.
I do know that I have recently seen some dissociation in her because of the trauma this situation is causing her.
This is all going down on a Discord server for fans of a certain band.
She has a therapist, but we need a new therapist. The therapist she has right now is literally just “calling it in” talking to her once a month over the phone so that my child doesn’t lose her access to her skills trainers. Here, you have to have a therapist to get skills training.
If you see this, can you maybe do a video on the harm and dangers to other vulnerable people when they aren’t equipped or trained to deal with things like this?
I’m exhausted because my child is in some distress and I just don’t know how to help her right now.
Very tough situation, my absolute condolences. Your child’s been manipulated by a faker. Or at the very least, someone who doesnt know who to push their disorder onto. No matter the case, going cold turkey was the right idea, however your kids probably going to still feel shaken up about it, or feel ashamed about having to leave them.
No kid should have to deal with someone else’s disorder (real or fake), its a nightmare.
That's terrible :(
I really hope she's better now ‹3
I'm so sorry. This is awful. I just wanted to also second your request. I'm autistic and actually have did and I think I'm figuring out that my husband is an abuser. His new thing is suddenly having did but it seems very fake and all to control me, but I can't tell for sure. It's making me sick not knowing if I'm an asshole for suspecting manipulation or if he's the asshole. Autistic people are so much more susceptible to manipulation. I'm glad you're looking out for your kiddo. Maybe don't cut them off but try to start educating them on the topics you mentioned. Maybe you can learn about DID together. I'm pretty sure an alter can't just appear because of your child's character. Maybe then she won't feel so responsible. That's the hope at least.
I’d have them start seeing a therapist, if i were you
no adult with did would've said anything like that to your child, definitely another kid faking it who got all his did info from tiktok and youtube, maybe just wait until you can find a way to explain to her that it wasnt really real, so sorry to hear about your situation, I hope it has gotten better
Awesome video! One of the things that worries me the most is when adult TikTokers and RUclipsrs who have DID (real or not) become influencers. They become a pretty big guiding force on how people with DID should be treated, and even more scary, how people who have DID should treat themselves. I've seen multiple instances of popular DID content creators doing some not-so-great stuff and then don't acknowledge that it was bad, leaving the audience thinking it was good and OK to do. I've heard a few instances where people who have DID tried to internalize and copy how the influencer was behaving and treating their alters, only for their mental health to get much worse. This is where the misinformation becomes a problem.
For instance, one adult TikToker who was experiencing "rapid switching" and talking about how distressed they were, said they were trying to ground, but kept deliberately trying to switch alters over and over again. Even going so far as to drown out an obvious positive grounding stimuli (a storm, which the fronting alter enjoyed) with music in order to deliberately switch yet again. Bearing in mind, the whole time they're talking about how distressing it is and how they want it to stop. It was disturbing, and as far as I'm aware, they never pointed out that it was a mistake. That system does interviews on DID and is a pretty big influencer in the niche of DID. I worry for anyone who has DID or knows someone who has DID taking this on board and treating it this way in real life.
RUclips/Social Media isn't a reliable source for any type of Diagnosis.
Anyone who thinks it is needs serious Mental Health Therapy STAT.
Be Accountable for yourself and Watch what you want skip over what you don't want to watch. It's simple really.
I can't imagine anyone Faking DID because in Real Life it SUCKS.
It's so nice to see this. I've been professionally diagnosed with DID, and my therapist and I are currently working through it, and it's really hard to see these kids who are acting like it's fun or quirky. The disorder is not fun at all, chunks of my day are just missing entirely, I have to pretend I've already met people that I don't know, I've missed important appointments and the like due to not being the one fronting, I've been stuck dissociating for hours to the point of actively harming myself from not moving. It isn't fun, it will never be fun, and the fact these young teens are going on tiktok showing their 'uwu' alters and actively dressing up to showcase each alter is what I can only put as severely insulting.
I feel guilty about being so angry at these tiktokers faking this, but this is why. Painting this potentially debilitating and serious disorder as fun and quirky and like all your alters are just besties in your head you can call out and anytime you want to help you out is quite misleading. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through.
Im sorry you are going through that. I hope you and your therapist find a way fro you to cope with this condition
DID is like a social contagion that appears in connection with movies and TV. It always manifests in culturally specific ways based on how the media presents it in that culture. In India, where movies and TV present DID sufferers as waking up with different personalities each day, that's how it "manifests."
In the US. At first, people had max five alters. Suddenly pop culture started showing people with hundreds of alters, and now the average is like 60. Originally you had people switching once every few months and therapists having to "draw" personalities out. Now you have people "sharing a headspace" and "switching multiple times an hour." Originally it was total amnesia and alters that weren't aware of each other. Now people have alters that are "coconscious," who can talk to each other, and even alters that are "dating." And alters “co-fronting”
i thought i selected an image but nope, its your pfp! XD
@@SpecialBlanket im not a student anymore so I don’t really have access to look into it but I remember reading about it in grad school
@@MightyJKF sorry I just didn’t want a selfie or a meme since I started using this account for professional contacts haha
@@danielmendes5120 ok
This is one of the most compelling reasons as to its none existence. These manifestations should be consistent across cultures, but they aren't. It's entirely malleable and fits into underlying cultural values and beliefs, which I believe denoted the person with DID subconsciously acting like they have it, and legitimately believing that they do as well.
"Can DID be faked? Yes. Is it all faked? No. Is 99% of DID on TikTok fake? Oh yes indeed."
Also RUclips
@@salemslostchildI’ve seen a bunch on discord. People got mad when I called them out…
As someone with a DID diagnosis, I avoid everything like this online. It's so upsetting. Real awareness hasn't increased, stigma is still massive (horror movies and the like), and even some so called doctors don't believe that we exist. It's bad enough having to live with the effects of severe trauma and a dozen other diagnoses on top of it, being disabled, without shit like this.
I watched a RUclips video 3 weeks about by a young lady who did the video on TikTok and mental illness; The video was the first in a series of videos on the topic. In the comments, a person who claimed to be a mental health professor declared very strongly that DID doesn't exist. The person didn't give any reasons for their comment. When I read the comment, it made me question if they were really a mental health professional because of not backing up their comment.
Thank you for emphasizing that DID is real, and for asking people to question where the urge to scrutinize people's illness/disability comes from, and touching on the stigma that can add. I don't have DID myself but I am disabled, and the focus that people put on seeking out 'fakers' harms a lot of disabled people. I'm glad to see that you both acknowledged that there are going to people out their who do fake from time to time, but did not suggest that it's helpful to scrutinize the validity of someone's illness or assume you can know for sure if you're judging from the sidelines
Yeah I use to watch those, like, cringe compilations? on here with the others in the system and later on it would just make us feel like genuine shit... I know they could be faking, but we aren't professionals. We don't know what goes on in other people's minds. but some people that comment on those videos are very ableist too and will attack real systems that struggle with DiD or OSDD. (One of us commented on those videos and it started a wildfire of invalidation on us cause we don't wanna Integrate. combining into one person basically) They don't seem to understand the thought process. I feel like thats why so much stigma just happens because they can't relate or other reasons. Its very unfortunate its such a huge issue in society still, wish we could all love each other than spread negativity :/
Hopefully your life gets better too though! I understand how hard it might be for people like us and you to function on the daily. Despite how stressful it is we're all human, we can push through each day step by step and thats what matters ❤
When kids/teens or even young adults sometimes are having “did parties”, yes I think they are faking.
I took abnormal psychology over the summer and we talked a little about DID. I find it really fascinating, and I think it makes sense that it would be a response to some kind of traumatic experience. It's so interesting how the brain works. Lol And I'm glad you made this video, because I needed a reminder too that I don't have to react to everything I don't like. Lol 👍
On tik tok it is not usually coming from pain but in lot of cases it is caused because views make you earn money. And faking illness make a terrible harm to the persons that really have them.
Heating how DID comes about is heartbreaking. Bringing an alter forward so you can "survive that trama mentally" this entire video was so informative and very needed in this day and age. Thank you for the insite
Back in, lets say, 2016, if someone told me they had a mental condition/disorder, I'd likely just believe them. Now (2022), if someone tells me they have a disorder, I feel the need to ask if it's self-diagnosed or professionally diagnosed. I always feel bad assuming everyone is faking, especially if I meet them in real life, but I will absolutely not shed sympathy for people faking any kind of struggle.
This has also been a trend among _some_ in the tech scene for a while now. Its yuck!! Faking DID for attention is a horrible thing to do.
I think there’s a worthwhile distinction to make between “faking” DID/any disorder in your real everyday life, and faking it only on social media. There is a much different value proposition to faking for just a few seconds or minutes at a time for a video.
As someone with D.I.D. who figured it out and brought it to my therapist and then was brought to be futher tested by psychologist. It took me YEARS i read and read and looked into people with the disorder. I have huge lapses in memory, depression, sucidial ideology and thoughts, and mood swings. i started researching my symptoms at 13-14 and i got diagnosed at 21. Its stressful, its chaotic, its disorienting. We are working on learning to work together as a system now that we are self aware of most alters...im at currently 13 alters. im currently out of work though so i cant go to therapy thank god me and my therapist are also just friends which i needed. Shes just message me and ask me how im doing and help me out best i can...we are also a covert system we hide very well...as my parents dont believe in this...and are part of the issue but i cant afford to live alone rn...
-Eli and Company
Heya, might just be a stranger on the internet but I wish you the best of luck for everything. Therapy, job, or just a support group and awesome friends that can love and help y'all cause ya deserve that! Every single one of you got this and can pull though ^^! Best wishes once again 💜!
Help. Need validation one way or another. Please. You are a DID system. Am I?
Can you do a deep dive into "reality shifting"? It's a new trend and community on TikTok. They believe they can shift their consciousness to another reality as they sleep. While most of us think it's vivid dreams, they try to persuade everyone that shifting to another reality is possible. My question is: why do some people -- like reality shifters -- get so attached to alternative realities and fictional worlds? Do you think these content creators are faking it?
Its basicaly "new age spirituality" so it kind of clasifies as a religion, defficult to talk about.
No its 100% real, ive shifted exactly once after over 10 tries, and its quite legitimate. It isnt "vivid dreams", not even slightly. People get attached to those alternate realities because those realities promise them comfort and peace. Example: You shift to the world of your favorite show. You develop a relationship with your favorite character. You feel a sense of community in that alternate reality. -- Who wouldnt become attached to that? its paradise, you know? using scripts, you can make those alternate realities anything you want them to be.
@@jennathemartian5614 If you've experienced reality shifting, seek a psychiatrist.
Usually too much escapism.
Because the world that humanity built for itself sucks, being a teen/tweenager inherently sucks, and science fiction involving alternative realities has saturated popular culture to the point of being a solid part of modern Western cultural myth. Additionally western liberal thought heavily promotes the idea that lived experience is the highest and most valid form of truth, above consensus or empiricism or tradition/religion or anything else (which has bled across the entire political spectrum actually, but that's where it started). So if someone gets told that their lived experience in a dream is just a consequence of neurological functions while you're asleep, it can be easier to outright reject that and hold on to this "reality shifting" idea instead.
It doesn't really matter if some or all content creators are 'faking it' because ultimately the end effect is the same, and if you accept the primacy of lived experience then it's entirely immaterial to accuse someone of faking it from the outside anyway.
I think there is a big difference in the group of people who say they have DID on social media vs the people who are actually seeking help. If I was faking a disorder to get attention on the internet I wouldn’t go to a doctor about it.
This is so discouraging. It’s already a problem trying to get professionals to try and take DID seriously, and tik tok is sadly making many of them think it isn’t. It’s a never ending uphill battle. For every person who fakes DID, there’s many more people who are going undiagnosed and can’t get help. I’m so glad that this channel re affirms that it’s real.
You should make a video of the absurd trigger warnings on TikTok (shelves, hair, pink, glasses, playgrounds, words, numbers, etc.)
those are made by troll accounts, they’re mocking people who actually need them
People are so fast to self diagnose. Sadness does not always equal depression, shyness does not always equal anxiety, not being able to sit still and concentrate does not always equal adhd. I often dissociate due to my anxiety/adhd but I have never claimed it as being DID. I wish people understood that
it absolutely sucks that ppl are faking did on tiktok because people who actually have it or suspect they might dont feel comfortable talking about it on social media for fear of being lumped in with the people poisoning the social association with DID as a whole
this was a really really good video though, thank you
And they claim it's to spread awareness or it's their way of coping. I think there's a very distinct difference when a diagnosed DID individual uses the plaform genuinely for those purposes vs those who fake their DID for clout
I have to agree with many others. While having DID isn't fun, that doesn't mean faking it wouldn't be.
Because they don't experience the things that make those who have it miserable.
That's like saying people wouldn't lie about having cancer because it's really painful. Well, yes, but not if you don't actually have it.
And I do believe it does harm people immensly if faking disorders becomes a trend. It harms those who have the disorder and it harms those who don't.
Yes, if you feel the need to fake a disorder, there is very likely something wrong with you. But that doesn't mean "It's OK, they're still sick". It's a real problem, because those who have some other kind of disorder might see videos like that and become convinced it's DID. There are many other disorders that can cause some symptoms that might look similar. We all have different aspects of personality, there are days or cirsumstances when you feel almost like a different person. If you are a teenager and your personality isn't fully solidified it's even more extreme. Pair that with some kind of underlying disorder, possibly even some dissociative symptoms and it's easy to trick yourself into believing you might have DID. Because it's one of the "cool", "interesting" disorders right now.
The more they see videos of systems with 100+ colourful alters who all have interesting backstories, speech/writing quirks, who are based in what ever fictional universes are trendy right now, the more they hear about all those fun anecdotes about what's happening in their headspace, the more they want to have this cool, fun group of people in their head, the more they want to be that celebrity they look up to.
They might refuse another disgnosis. I've even heard of people changing therapists until they get someone to tell them what they want to hear, or seeking out doctors they know are more open to diagnosing DID in ...questionable.. cases.
Because *just* having BPD or PTSD just isn't *fun*. Just getting hazy and disoriented and unable to function when you dissociate isn't *fun*. You know what's fun? Putting on wigs and makeup and pretending to be a 3000 year old vampire. Imagining all the crazy adventures that the aliens, wolves and celebrities in you head are having together.
It keeps people from getting a real diagnosis and real help. It makes people question a disorder that many people already don't believe in. It makes a serious disorder look like something desirable to those who are already mentally unstable or impressionable. And they have the ultimate way to shut everybody down who dares to tell them they might not have DID, because "It's a serious disorder guys, I'm really suffering, who are you to tell me I'm faking!!"
I argue if their faking it for attention they should probably get help because that need for attention is still inherently human. Is it harmful? Hell Yeah, but they should probably get help-??? because if their acting out for attention in the only way they know how to get it??? that's probably enough to justify therapy-??
As an abuse survivor with bipolar disorder w/ psychotic tendencies. When people lie about it for attention it hurts. It’s like they can just take off a mask and go back to their normal lives meanwhile I’m dealing with it all day, everyday. It makes me feel like my mental issues are just fun and games to them. It’s extremely insensitive.
You assume that they aren’t mentally ill in some other way though. Someone who fakes a disorder probably has a different one
I'm really glad you spent a good portion of this video talking about how DID develops and the stigma around it before actually talking about people who fake it because it is important to remind others that this is absolutely a real condition.
I have a close friend who was recently diagnosed with DID; at one point before he was diagnosed we stopped talking for months because our friendship had become quite toxic and I needed to step away. It felt shitty since we've known each other since we were 13 and I have a very hard time cutting people off, but he was hurtful towards me and my friends on several instances and then I'd get angry, so it became mutually unhealthy. Ever since he started therapy and was moved out of his abusive household things have been going unbelievably well, and I'm very happy for him. Even though we're both adults now, he's always shown these symptoms (although he didn't know he was in a system), so it's entirely possible for teenagers to have DID and I think assuming every 15 year old who makes a Tik Tok about having DID is faking does more harm than good.
However, I've also personally known of someone who faked it. We were classmates in 10th grade, and they told me they had DID pretty much the same day we met (to quote, "are you scared of me yet"). I'm a bit of a fawner (worse when I was younger, because I hadn't been getting help) so I refused to let that deter me from befriending them. They never really displayed symptoms of DID unless they wanted attention or an excuse to lash out and be mean, and they magically cured themselves of it about a year later. Now, it's very obvious they were trying to convince themselves of having DID as some sort of coping mechanism. I feel like it brought them some sense of joy because they felt pretty worthless, so having this rare and interesting illness made them feel cool and unique, and because it provided them with an excuse to act "weird" or say things that they otherwise would be too scared to.
I think a lot of people on Tik Tok do this too, but those who are faking will eventually grow out of it. It's useless to bully people, negative reinforcement is only going to worsen whatever underlying issues they have (because I believe nobody who's completely stable would fake a disorder unless it was exclusively for money or to get away with a crime).
This is something that I see happening with other disorders too though. A lot of autistic kids try to convince themselves of having ASPD because they're seen as "weird" and sometimes don't experience empathy quite like their peers, so the idea of having a personality disorder that's stigmatized as being evil feels "cooler" and more empowering. Feeling"scary" or "dangerous" helps them cope with bullying and social ostracization.
Please don't harass people who you believe are faking disorders, not only is it hard to tell but even if they were faking that's no excuse for being an asshole. If someone's actively spreading harmful misinformation or hiding behind the excuse of mental illness to harm others then it's ok to bring that to light, but bullying strangers is an entirely different matter.
Confession: I suffered for a long time wondering if I had DID/OSSD, and I still do sometimes. I used to obsess over myself, questioning every thought I had to see if it matched with a diagnosis. I am fascinated by psychology in general but especially this disorder, and I’ve made plenty of friends who have it along the way. I’m still uncertain why I thought/think I have it but the brief comment about jealousy at the end really stuck with me.
I don’t want an identity disorder for attention, I actually hate attention. And I don’t want one because my life would be ten times harder. I certainly do not actually wish for the disorder. But at the same time, I kind of fantasize about it in a way. I think part of me wants to be a little more interesting or complex, and I wonder if that’s what a lot of these kids on tik tok are going through. I’m really worried about a generation of kids plugged into their phones all the time, trying to make themselves stand out and feel something on the internet where everyone is disconnected.
PS I love this channel, this is my new favorite pysch channel : )
Being optimistic is well and good, but it is blatantly obvious that these are posers. I wish them health and to find themselves, because I'm sure this is a phase based off underlying problems.
Who is "they"?
I’m sorry if you addressed this in the video and I missed it, but is it common for people with DID to identify as fictional characters or real people? How do you as a therapist help someone manage an alter that believes that he’s Dean Winchester or Bo Burnham? There are several ways in which I can imagine this belief would cause problems for the system.
Another reason why I think DID is so controversial is the intersectionality issues it presents with other oppressions. Is it valid for an alter living in a white, blond-haired, blue-eyed body to identify as a member of a racial minority and talk about issues faced by that minority as if they also face them? I can understand why a person who is visibly a racial minority might be frustrated by having their experiences contradicted by someone with 100% European DNA, who claims to be a member of the same racial minority and expects to be validated as such because of their DID.
It’s a complicated disorder. This was a very informative video, and I appreciate that you approached it without an agenda and just tried to get the facts out.
@Dylan Lesperance Exactly what I was gonna say!
system here- fictives/factives are VERY common!! we've noticed that especially if the system in question is neurodivergent, its just easier to be a person if you have a pre-determined look/shape, though im not saying that being an introject is much of a choice- most of the time you pop into existence like this. im speaking through personal experience on this cause thats really all i can do, as all systems are different just like how all brains are different, but we have a couple online friends who are also ND and systems (absolute serendipity that we all met eachother), and we all at least have one fictive or factive running around. i'd go as far as to say introjects are pretty normal for systems, and as long as the introject in question doesnt fall too far into delusion (things like very firmly believing that they are The Real Version of their source material, having false memories esp if they're distressing or painful), then its okay as long as they're feeling alright about their introject-ness.
im not sure what to add about alters who ID with specific races/ethnicities tbh? while we have a fair number of alters who don't match the body's race, we're all very aware that we're the race that we are, so besides doing our best to be good allies for bipoc in general we dont go beyond that line as we feel it'd be inappropriate. since we're white, we havent lived through racism no matter how many of us feel like we don't match our body, so we take it in stride and help boost real bipoc voices. things like gender on the other hand has a LOT more intersectionality in being a system, and we've found that being a system has given us a unique perspective and also emotions on being part of the lgbt+ community. an example could be that an alter could ID as a cis man but lives in a female body. he might very much still feel like a cis man even if he's fronting, but because he's in a female body, he'll have a trans experience!
these were really good questions!! i hope we could help a little- this disorder is VERY complicated, and depending on the system you'll probably get different answers. we arent professionals by far, but we DO live this so i thought our own example would help too
@@cervidae3291 I loved this, thank you! My partner's system has ADHD and they have numerous fictives and non-human alters. My partner (cis hetero man in a female body) is a protector/co-host and he's a knight!
Something that is important for people without DID to remember is that alters don't really get to write their own origin stories, and invalidating the legitimacy of alters based on the identities that were assigned to them can be very damaging and harmful to them, and is ultimately unnecessary in the bigger picture (unless they are causing real irl distress for others, then personal responsibility comes into play).
Not a psychologist, but I'm an alter in a system with a variant of DID (OSDD-1b).
Factives and fictives are incredibly common. We've had 3 or 4 in our system to my knowledge, though only one of then has not integrated. I know other systems in my personal life, also in cursory ways online, and it is often common for them to have a few or have had some in the past. This is because when the brain is stressed, it will create new alters--and if you're stressed and feel your stress or pain is understood through a character you're thinking about a lot, often the alter that forms will be a fictive/factive. It is the brain's way of protecting you and compartmentalizing difficult emotions, and it learned to do it when you were in danger as a child, so it keeps on doing it as a safety mechanism into adulthood. It is a completely involuntary process that we cannot control. I've definitely had it surprise me before.
On the subject of non white alters/ alters claiming to be of an oppressed background the body has never experienced, it is a both simple and complex answer. Non white alters are created involuntarily, we cannot control it , and they feel certain things about their identity. The question is, how do you express this? Honestly, as a black/brown alter in a white body, you should not be speaking on experiences you fundamentally do not have and will never have. It is part of system responsibility to discuss that with alters who are brown/black and tell them that they cannot speak over people of color who are discriminated against for the color of their skin and physical appearance. It is a conversation I have had with alters with darker skin and ethnic features the body doesn't have, and we discuss how to approach this often. Systems who don't discuss or deal with it are not being responsible or checking their privelage, it's as simple as that.
Would one of the systems in this comment thread mind helping me? I believe I have a few alters but I don't want to diagnose myself and come off as a trender.
For context, I live in a rocky household. Not quite abusive, but definitely dysfunctional, and the community surrounding me is incredibly hostile. This combined with the stress and isolation of quarantine has caused my mental health to go downhill quite a bit and over time, distinct "voices"/people have formed in my mind along with myself. A few are fictives but there are also a couple that have formed from nothing and taken on their own identities. A lot of them seem focused on keeping me distracted from the worse parts of my day or just giving advice, but there are some as well that act as though to prosecute me and tell me that I deserve the unkindness and unhappiness i face. This doesn't affect my life much and I'm hesitant to tell any of my friends or family, fearing judgement from mu friends and knowing that my family would likely tell me I'm faking it and that social media has convinced me I'm mentally ill. Help?
Edit: its also worth noting that a lot of them will come to my defense when I'm being criticized by my parents or peers, as if they try to put themselves in front of me/between me and whatever the stress is.
Also, you’re kinda ‘cool’ and ‘in’ to right now and I love how you’re using your platform to educate. 👏👍
First, thank you. DID is an uphill battle with all your unknown (for us) trauma dragging you down. It's frightening to lose entire sections of time, even more so suddenly becoming aware that you are missing time. Then the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon begins and you see it every day and how much you are missing from your life. It's incredibly disorienting and frightening.
Second, as someone who is still struggling with acceptance, hearing the statement including "terror" as trauma was incredibly enlightening. The largest point of contention for our diagnosis was that we can not recall anything other than the fear. There's no way that something that seems so trivial now could be the trigger for a life long dissociative issue. It is a massive hurdle and feeds our denial spiral. Sometimes being called out inadvertently is greatly needed. Thank you again.
inb4 the comments section gets flooded with fifteen year olds calling you a fake-claiming singlet
Man they should be scared then! Singlet oxygen is one fiesty sucker!
Mmmm there are definitely people who think any attention - good or bad - is a net gain.
Particularly in the context of teenage behavior, I think we’ve been seeing it’s pretty normal for them to “seriously” play pretend (see: reality shifting lol). I think we’re seeing a lot of immaturity but it happens
Yeahhhh seeing trends teens cook up makes me cringe (even when I was a teen)
I did some dumb stuff when I was young, but I was never much of a trend hopper. I had a few friends back in the day that would lie about different disorders they had. I never wanted to be mean cause obviously something probably was wrong in between the play pretend. It just made it really hard to talk to them cause I wasn't making up my problems, I felt like they didn't take anyone but themselves seriously...
One friend once had DID for a few months, "seizures" where she would blank out, etc cause I can't even remember all of her physical/mental ailments anymore. I'm not trying to be mean but she was a bad actress. I couldn't/would'nt call her out directly but that shit worried me. Another friend would fake athsma attacks to get out of shit and lied to me for 2-3 months about being pregnant. I don't think they realize when they do that sort of shit it puts distance in their relationships. I would care and worry without all that. Like a few admitted that their stories were bs (another friend for example that said her step dad abused her for years). It really made me feel like anything personal I told them (which stopped when this shit started), was probably seen as bs. Shit sucks
I needed this video. Especially the beginning. I found myself with a lot of anger towards these teenagers rapid switching making shows out of a serious mental disorder. But when you said “think about why this upsets you so much even if they are faking it” And I did. I realized I’m so upset bc I felt super invalidated when I was a teenager when I was diagnosed with ocd/body dysmorphic disorder/depression/anxiety. I was treated like I was faking it or like I secretly had control over it but just didn’t wanna “try” enough to make it go away. And something about the thought of people actually faking a disorder made me feel upset as I felt people faking contributes to those of us really struggling not being taken seriously. It’s not too often I come across things that make me rethink my whole view. I came out of this video with a totally new opinion. A much less angry and aggressive one. Thank you
I think you and the person who wrote in about this were watching different videos. Yes, there are some legitimate DID sufferers on there who, as you noted, don't sensationalize their disorder, but there are entire series of 20 minute compilation videos of thousands of teenagers who are doing exactly that. You know how you can tell when someone's legitimately fainting vs. faking it? It's the same thing with alters switching. There's some human mechanism in the brain that just makes it very obvious. I liked that you pointed out that that behavior could very well be indicative of another (quite legitimate) mental illness, though. We all know that adolescence is a brutally difficult phase of life for everyone, so it isn't shocking that a segment of the population already prone to rebellious, off the wall acts would partake in a trend like this with technology being where it is and in light of the recent increase in awareness around DID. There's the "I'm special" factor, plus, in a phase where you're trying to figure out who you are in a big, scary world, it's not hard to see how seductive it could seem to just not have to choose at all. It would also just be naive to ignore the fact that videos where teens claim to transform on camera into six different anime characters, three separate species, and at least one race not their own (complete with extremely problematic "blaccent") get views and command attention, be it positive or negative, in a way that most of the kids doing this have no other means of attaining on social media.
Where did you get the idea that switches are always obvious?
Stuff/people like this makes it hard for people like me to try and get treated or even listened to.
To me it seems like they ruin it for people who actually need help. Very sad and very frustrating.
🥺 I'm sorry that your experience has been so discouraging. Try not to give up hope!
i like that you pointed out how people who are "faking" disorders may not necessarily be doing it on purpose. a lot of people--especially young people--can easily be misled (intentionally or otherwise) into thinking they have one condition when in reality, they have something else, or even have some sub-clinical issue that isn't a full-blown disorder at all. it's generally best to not immediately assume malice with things like this.
someone faking a disorder and getting a huge amount of attention for it can contribute to the stigma around that disorder and cause harm, yes, but a few people doing that doesn't mean that everyone who claims to have a disorder which presents itself in a non-stereotypical way is faking. plus, even if they are, it may very well be because of another disorder causing them to sincerely believe they have something that they actually don't have.
these sorts of situations need a more nuanced approach that just assuming that everyone who appears to be faking a disorder is being malicious or assuming that no one could ever possibly be faking at all. the truth is somewhere in the middle, as it almost always is.
I was diagnosed with this and I didn't realize I was mentally ill until 2021. I was sexually abused consistently when I was 5-6 years old and developed the first dissociative episode when I was 8 years old.
It was not like what you see on Tiktok. It felt like I was all of a sudden, drunk and having an out-of-body experience and experiencing my body in 3rd person.
It felt like I was posessed with a demonic being and lost control over my limbs while I sat and watched it happen. I didn't come down from it until my mother came in with her Bible and held me. I can only remember saying I didn't know where I was. Again, this was just when I was 8. I have only had these awful switches very rarely and mostly these fragments stay inside of my mind and communicate via thoughts. The most they do is come forward but I am able to keep it back.
The Tiktok and RUclips people who are switching are very misleading and hurtful. Also, the people who are claiming it isn't real are the same as those who don't think lucid dreaming is real.
Just because YOU have never dealt with it does not make it fake. DID is real and it is scary and embarrassing. I have no idea why anybody in their right mind would want to show this to anybody.
People who make a show of it online have something to gain and are highly annoying, as well as doctors who use these ridiculous cases to point and say it isn't real. Maybe study actual people who have severe dissociation and not some tiktoker.
Seriously thank you so much for this.
We are a system ourselves and we really wanna be who we are openly. It's horrifying- honestly.
Switching can be distressing, we've gotten better at communicating and stuff as well as normalizing it.
Honestly we're a bit all over the place rn- literally- But we all really agree with your points and appreciate this video. Ngl we were hoping to share this video and we've copied the link to share it a lot-
anyone who calls themselves a system is 1000% faking. If you are referring to yourself as 'we' you're faking. You don't "communicate" with your alters, you literally cannot do that with DID. You are faking, even if you don't realize it.
@@BeelzebubMontgomery Dude did you like. Not watch the video at all?
what im going to say might be very controversial, but please read my whole comment.
it is okay to self-diagnose BUT only if youre not using it as a professional/real diagnosis, and instead as a way of saying "i think i might have this disorder, ive looked up a lot about it but i dont have the funds/time to get the diagnosis set on paper.". it is NOT okay to self-diagnose if youre going to use it as something official and have not even looked into it enough to be sure, using the excuse "well it costs too much, i dont have the money, just believe me." because thats bullshit. the only acceptable way to self-diagnose is if youve done enough looking into said disorder and after a good while feel like you might have it, but keeping it to yourself and not telling anyone youre "diagnosed" when youre not.
This! Thank you so much for this video. I came here late to the game and wanted to express my thoughts and feelings as someone who has been diagnosed by psychiatrists and trauma therapists. I get so upset when people fake the disorder. This is not an easy or fun disorder to have. I've lost 3 jobs because an obvious Altar came out at a bad time (not because they did anything wrong just because of stigma). Dissociating is not fun I can usually tell if someone else is about to come out and can't always let them. Feeling you are in a dream, sick to your stomach, dizzy and having a headache are some of the symptoms I experience during a switch. Having to hide it because of the fear of stigma and all the jobs I lost sucks too. Always worried you might lose a job at any time just because you couldn't control a switch enough. I'm so thankful I found this and I appreciate all the info you placed in here. Hollywood movies like Slplit and Sybil have caused some huge misunderstandings about this disorder and can make us look scary to people who don't understand it. Thank you again so much for this informative video!
The fact that you don't believe that these kids of tiktok are faking DID, when many of them have come out about lying about it, when they say their DID just showed up one day and they never had any severe trauma, when they know every single one of their alters along with their names, likes and dislikes, different clothing styles almost as if they're creating a charachter, when their alters all talk to eachother and sometimes even date eachother in their "headspace", when they can switch at will without a trigger dozens of times on camera in order to introduce all their different alters to their tiktok audience, when they're constantly gaining new alters as if it's a race, when they think getting a diagnosis is unnecessary and even bad because they think DID is something great that makes them special and think they're quality of life would diminished were they to be a "boring ass singlet" (I've actually heard that said), when they experience no amnesia...
I can't believe you're going to give credence to these teenagers who are only working to further stigmatize people who actually have DID, people who are mortified when they see these fakers and can't believe anyone would want to role-play the disorder that causes teeth so much strife, to present it as something fun and quirky.
There is a youtuber whose entire channel is sharing stories of these people confessing to faking DID and confirming that the faking of the disorder has become a massive trend among teens and young adults. DID is incredibly rare and also by nature a covert disorder due to the amnesia and splitting or identities; in being aware of alters and getting them to cooperate or integrate in any sort of way often requires intensive therapy.
For there to suddenly be thousands of teens who realized they had DID on their own suddenly after seeing someone else showing off their different alters fashion styles and immediately know all their alters and everything about and them and have the ability to switch whenever they want to is a laugh in the face of the
DSM-V, every true sufferer of DID, and anyone with common sense. These kids certainly need help and mental treatment, but not for DID.
completely off-topic, but your hair looks amazing, Dr Kirk!
It looks so healthy and soft!!
This disorder almost ruined my life. It sucks so bad to see it romanticized. I don’t tell people I have DID. I’m in therapy for it. I disclosed it to a friend once and he told all our mutuals- next thing I know they’re all wearing wigs and speaking in different accents. I’ve ended up miles from home at a stranger’s house, had to start carrying important info with me. I’m better now thanks to therapy.
I've dissociated before, and from my experience its totally random, and uncontrollable. So are they like recording themselves all day or just doing this on cue?
Switches can be intentional or unintentional. It's not "totally random", usually there are triggers involved if it "comes out of nowhere".
If they know what triggers a dissociative episode or a switch, they can use said trigger to initiate it for the video.
People with DID are constantly dissociating. That's why it's a dissociative disorder, and not a "I dissociated once"
For us we can feel it (we get headaches) we've never posted them publicly but sometimes we have the wherewithall to record it for therapy
It's very scary to even have a sort of mental disorder at all. I have a symptoms of DID and like *it's not fun as all* , it's not cute, it's not quirky. And when people fake it, it's disrespectful because people who has DID (or similar to it).
To anyone who has DID or similar to it, you guys are such strong people!
I love videos like this
A decent length video, exploring a topic
As a patreon it's great to hear the deep dives, and it's great to have a digestible video like this (I just can't watch the dysfunctional people on reality tv shows anymore)
(also good question by the listener)
I can't stand the abusive couples anymore so I've been watching a lot less, brandon and julia are still interesting/watchable, it's disfuncional but I don't think abusive TT at some point it just felt like it was raising my anxiety more to listen to abuse happen so often cuz I binged the 90 day fiancee reactions
As someone with D.I.D, our community disapproves on anyone fake claiming others. It's not our place. D.I.D is so widely diverse. Its moments like this that I hear," it's following a trend" or "just for attention" when in reality it's been a struggle for years to get accepted but thankfully with the newer generations becoming more open; it would make sense that they feel Tiktok or RUclips or other sites could be that place they can reach out and can express themselves. Unless you are their therapist, you shouldn't gatekeep what you think is valid or not.
I also have friends that thought they had D.I.D but later find out they have OSDD or other serious mental illnesses and that's fine too! What they are feeling in that moment of recovery is their truth. We're just human.
Teens on Tiktok fake every disorder they discover. Well, teens in general, not just Tiktok.
A lot of people fake having ADHD as well.
I personally have ADHD and Autism, diagnoses that I have been given and have been managing since I was six years old. After COVID and the explosion of social media and many individuals getting online diagnoses from online doctors (which is not nearly as effective as in-house evaluations), my medication to manage my ADHD has been in very short supply. I have to go without it every other month because there has been a boom in people who have been diagnosed and prescribed these stimulants. It's very taxing on my body and stress because the medicine I take is a STIMULANT! If I'm not weaned off of it properly, I get gradual withdrawal symptoms that affect my quality of life. These "fakers," when there are enough of them, have real effects on people who actually have these disorders.
From knowing someone closely with DID, there is a reason people with DID want to keep their system secret that I haven’t heard talked about. That system keeps them safe. Part of keeping them safe is making sure that their abusers don’t know about the parts system. So it can be really hard for some people to trust others enough to allow them to see the system and other parts. Keeping it all secret can give an illusion of safety.
I feel like media portrayals of DID are a big influence on people trying to fake having it. As another commenter here pointed out its connection-seeking behavior through desperate means.
1-2%? Of the population?! The average person (according to a 2013 University of Columbia study) knows 6-12 people with DID?
yea, this is not believable lol.
Considering 97% of DID cases are covert (hidden), yeah it’s entirely possible that you know 6-12 people with it without knowing they have it
@@peachsystem1024 That they should be so completely successful at hiding, considering the symptoms, is the shocking part. For example, 0.7% of the population has been to prison, which is something people usually prefer to conceal, but knowing someone who has been to prison is common. It's incredible that 1% of the population could have a disorder no one's even heard of.
If you’re faking it for attention you need an Audience, if it’s all still happening behind closed doors and you’re not telling anyone you’re not faking it. Also people who are faking it don’t worry about if they’re faking it
Thank you for talking about this. That’s one of the reasons I left the app because as someone with DID it’s easy to spot when someone is faking and it’s so infuriating.
May I have your perspective? I am trying to validate or invalidate one way or another.