To work 1-on-1 to overcome anxiety and a lack of assertiveness so you can confidently express yourself and lead others, book a short call with me to see if we'd be a good fit for working together: www.ashajacob.com/chatwithasha
I've felt GUILTY of even feeling angry 'because' I was such an empathetic person and loving child. The tendency is to see the other side and excuse..........and when you feel unable to set boundaries with someone.....anger is really the only thing preventing you from being totally used by people when you are naturally caring. We should preach ENPOWERMENT, in its many forms, in all the different contexts.........if after we have enpowered ourselves (by removing ourselves from the problem, changing something, feeling better in other ways etc) then....forgiveness may become relevant. If you forgive anyone from a place of DISenpowerment........you are just sacrificing yourself. So forgiveness for me is only valuable for small offenses or for when the major problem has been dealt with in some way.
Agree, it’s how you process your anger. Listening to your anger is difficult, lashing out on people that had nothing to do with what has happened to you is unhealthy way of processing your anger. It takes emotional maturity to control it and appreciate that emotion.
Forgiveness is overrated ppl know excatly what they're doing I'm tired of society judging ppl just because he/she has the right not accept an apology from someone
No, forgiveness is literally giving an abuser another chance. It’s just modern definition misconstrued the original meaning. The forgiveness is used one of the virtues of the Bible, as exact words of Jesus forgive them father as they don’t understand what they are doing. Portraying people incapable of self control. They knew exactly what they were doing, all the historic violence was inflicted for land, resources, control and exploitation. And no forgiveness allows that cycle to repeat and continue. Religion did a great disservice to humanity.
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 It leaves no leeway for different contextes though. What if you are stuck with the people in question? What if you were never able to set boundaries, and the bitterness is the only way to protect yourself? Forgiveness means jacksh*t. ENPOWERMENT, in its many forms, is what we should suggest to people. It can look like lettting go of bitterness in SOME cases, not all or most.
@vkrgfan you don t understand what u r saying. U Don t understand what forgiveness is. It does not mean u accept being wronged or not seeking justice, just that u Don t take revenge bc revenge will always return to you. Always. If u Don t understand spiritual laws u can never be happy, bc spiritual laws run the universe, always
It's grossly unfair to put pressure about forgiveness / compassion onto survivors of childhood abuse before they're ready. These people have often taken many years to even even start to accept the reality that their parents abused them, and guilt / compassion pressure has been used to keep them in line. It's not helpful, and invalidating. They have the right to reach a space of forgiveness when they're ready - if they ever reach it. It's healthy to feel anger they were denied for years, not be shamed over it.
@@AshaJacob Thanks. Speaking from experience, sadly. Remarks like this either come from enablers within the family, or from well-intentioned people who have never had to go through this stuff and should really say nothing. "Your parents did their best", "they could only do do what they knew at the time"...another way to shame us. Our parents have had 30+ years on this Earth longer than us to reflect on and redeem their actions, but choose not to. Thanks for your videos :)
Not to mention, it's not very forgiving or compassionate to judge "non-forgiveness" as a nono lol. The number one pattern I see in what I consider healthy guidance in any arena in this world (be it spiritual etc) is.........always help people VALIDATE how they feel. I couldn't even get angry at my family because I'm so naturally empathetic and undersstanding........and if I simply read a lot of well meaning guidance outt here........I would never learn that I have the right to be angry in the first place, rather than having to be mature...etc
Let’s be honest we didn’t get into relationship with insane person who screams profanities all day long, we got into relationships and friendships with people who can reason, therefore when they hurt you it’s deliberate and they know exactly what they have done. Narcissistic and Psychopathic folks have no empathy, they hurt people for entertainment therefore they don’t deserve your time and energy at all.
To work 1-on-1 to overcome anxiety and a lack of assertiveness so you can confidently express yourself and lead others, book a short call with me to see if we'd be a good fit for working together: www.ashajacob.com/chatwithasha
Thank you so much for this video. I agree with need this message.
I've felt GUILTY of even feeling angry 'because' I was such an empathetic person and loving child. The tendency is to see the other side and excuse..........and when you feel unable to set boundaries with someone.....anger is really the only thing preventing you from being totally used by people when you are naturally caring.
We should preach ENPOWERMENT, in its many forms, in all the different contexts.........if after we have enpowered ourselves (by removing ourselves from the problem, changing something, feeling better in other ways etc) then....forgiveness may become relevant. If you forgive anyone from a place of DISenpowerment........you are just sacrificing yourself. So forgiveness for me is only valuable for small offenses or for when the major problem has been dealt with in some way.
Agree, it’s how you process your anger. Listening to your anger is difficult, lashing out on people that had nothing to do with what has happened to you is unhealthy way of processing your anger.
It takes emotional maturity to control it and appreciate that emotion.
Forgiveness is overrated ppl know excatly what they're doing I'm tired of society judging ppl just because he/she has the right not accept an apology from someone
Common sense is so rare, which is why there are a billion nonsense videos on forgiveness and this gem of knowledge that’s barely been viewed.
Forgiveness is not what we think. It s letting go of bitterness,. Moving on. It does not mean you accept sbody who s wronged you back
No, forgiveness is literally giving an abuser another chance.
It’s just modern definition misconstrued the original meaning.
The forgiveness is used one of the virtues of the Bible, as exact words of Jesus forgive them father as they don’t understand what they are doing.
Portraying people incapable of self control. They knew exactly what they were doing, all the historic violence was inflicted for land, resources, control and exploitation. And no forgiveness allows that cycle to repeat and continue.
Religion did a great disservice to humanity.
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 It leaves no leeway for different contextes though. What if you are stuck with the people in question? What if you were never able to set boundaries, and the bitterness is the only way to protect yourself? Forgiveness means jacksh*t. ENPOWERMENT, in its many forms, is what we should suggest to people. It can look like lettting go of bitterness in SOME cases, not all or most.
@vkrgfan you don t understand what u r saying. U Don t understand what forgiveness is. It does not mean u accept being wronged or not seeking justice, just that u Don t take revenge bc revenge will always return to you. Always. If u Don t understand spiritual laws u can never be happy, bc spiritual laws run the universe, always
It's grossly unfair to put pressure about forgiveness / compassion onto survivors of childhood abuse before they're ready. These people have often taken many years to even even start to accept the reality that their parents abused them, and guilt / compassion pressure has been used to keep them in line. It's not helpful, and invalidating. They have the right to reach a space of forgiveness when they're ready - if they ever reach it. It's healthy to feel anger they were denied for years, not be shamed over it.
Excellently said, Alina!
@@AshaJacob Thanks. Speaking from experience, sadly. Remarks like this either come from enablers within the family, or from well-intentioned people who have never had to go through this stuff and should really say nothing. "Your parents did their best", "they could only do do what they knew at the time"...another way to shame us. Our parents have had 30+ years on this Earth longer than us to reflect on and redeem their actions, but choose not to. Thanks for your videos :)
Not to mention, it's not very forgiving or compassionate to judge "non-forgiveness" as a nono lol. The number one pattern I see in what I consider healthy guidance in any arena in this world (be it spiritual etc) is.........always help people VALIDATE how they feel. I couldn't even get angry at my family because I'm so naturally empathetic and undersstanding........and if I simply read a lot of well meaning guidance outt here........I would never learn that I have the right to be angry in the first place, rather than having to be mature...etc
~Yep!!!~This makes much more sense to me, and always has!!!~Its rare to hear anyone else say it!!!~
I have been saying that forever!!!!!
I love you I needed someone like you.
Let’s be honest we didn’t get into relationship with insane person who screams profanities all day long, we got into relationships and friendships with people who can reason, therefore when they hurt you it’s deliberate and they know exactly what they have done.
Narcissistic and Psychopathic folks have no empathy, they hurt people for entertainment therefore they don’t deserve your time and energy at all.
Thank you for this!!
Thank you. Liked and subscribed because of this (I saw it shared in a FB group)
So glad you enjoyed it!
🧡