Love you Mark! Super grateful for everything we've learned from you and your work, and even more grateful to have connected with you in the real world :) - Thomas
I found Yes Theory during covid. I'm in my 60's and I marveled not at how they say yes, because it's really a youth related thing to say yes; but I marveled at their ability to be civil and warm towards each other on the team, after a meteoric rise to fame and fortune, crossing cultural barriers, languages, time zones and close quarters. That was really impressive to me. I subscribed only because I wanted to watch how this would play out. I have to say, the jerky camera is a tough thing to overlook; I can watch better travelogues on other channels, but I was fascinated by 4 young men, of different backgrounds, traveling together and inspiring others to grab the day and get uncomfortable. I hope these guys stay friends their whole lives. I won't be around, but in 40 years, how cool to have a reunion episode. A 'where are they now' epilogue.
I related to Matt a lot during this podcast. I've always struggled with pleasing people and codependency. i've built my identity around it in some ways. It's hard to know where your pleasing self stops and your genuine self starts. I appreciate you guys making this episode!
Wow, great chat. I admire the ability to "wake up" at such a young age. So introspective. I'm from Gen X. we never grew up with these kinds of conversations. Such an important message. Well done!
47:00 people don't understand one thing as time changes people also change , accept the change and move on as fast as you could I've read it somewhere i don't remember clearly which book people often create their identity to what they have specialized in , like what they studied in college or university , they often feel obliged to continue what they specialized even when they're not interested in it cause they've spent so much money in college or university
Wow when you started talking about putting yourself to the side during a bad marriage and it clicked why I felt compelled to watch this. I experienced that exact thing and have over the years been getting to know myself and what I want to do. I've also found that with all of the deep healing I've done, I'm constantly in that state of getting to know myself. Thank you for sharing your insight on this topic!
This was so right on time, thank you both!! I've been uploading on RUclips for just over two years and was just yesterday thinking about what you said about how much freedom I've had to experiment and try different stuff cuz barely anyone was watching. And still as it's grown slowly and the pressure starts creeping up to make more of what the audience wants, it feels like what Mark was describing about adjusting to that over time. I feel very grateful at this point for these last two years to find my rhythm with creating where I don't feel like I'm just feeding the algorithm. I've had a chance to root into my intrinsic motivation. "If you lose at a pie eating contest, you didn't really lose, cuz you got to eat pie."
The series of Flow books by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi is such an amazing series, which prepares one nicely for life. This book came to my mind close to the end of this video. I don't know whether Matt read it or not. I got so many questions answered by these books (along with many other great books on subjects of happiness and living a fulfilled life in general).
Great episode and great guest, thanks Mark and Matt. Loved being able to hear the stories of someone I used to watch when I was younger and someone whose RUclips channel philosophy I used to idolize. Hearing Matt talk about how he feels he's still 19 now that he stopped acting for the audience and started figuring out who he truly is was super relatable. Brought me great solace knowing that we're all in this together. You'll get through it, amor fati :)
I came across "Yes Theory" once upon a time, and was immediately grateful that I had begun my mastery of saying NO. Watching the content drained the life out of me.
43:50ish... Exactly why I've NEVER wanted to own or run a skate shop. Skating my entire life and I feel if I tried to make a living off it, I would absolutely ruin it for me. Let's keep some stuff for ourselves.
As much as it's sad to see Matt leave, as much as I'm happy for him! very inspiring! I relate to many things Matt was discussing today. Thanks Mark for this amazing episode!
I saw a video of a guy who would flirt with and take out a girl he would see at his cornerstone alot, and he recorded the entire date, and subsequent dates as well. It was cute for sure, but also incredibly unnerving to read between the lines cuz its a girl you don’t know much of yet whom you’re placing hundreds of thousands of eyes in front of. It made me think how much better that date would have been if it were just them two, and uncomfortable saying ,”this seems like a personal event they should enjoy themselves, we shouldn’t be seeing this.”
I feel you, Matt. I didn't realize I am codependent with an insitution because I worked with them for a quite long time. Turned out this institution didn't and doesn't value me as I expected. I quit at 35, continued my study, but... with my CV revolves around it, I couldn't "escape" but to return working for the same institution. The extrinsic value (a.k.a. money) feels binding, because at the same time I need to support my parents. Other institutions would pay much less or even ignore my applications because, again, my experiences mostly revolve around one institution. I did try to soul-searching by solo traveling the world for 3.5 months, but still I felt empty. The moving from city to city, flying from country to country, didn't help. Hope you find what you're looking for, and soon 👍🏼.
Omg! “I’m just gonna get good at pottery.” The worst thing for a potter is trading happiness for custom jobs. I get no joy doing custom so I don’t do it. Worse, I get anxiety from custom. It ruins everything.
Love Yes Theory. Tremendous work! But glad he said I'm lost in the soup and I need to get out. Because sometimes we just have to! It's not a strange thing for me to hear that someone was willing to give up everything in order to find themselves again. Because at the end of the day if we're not okay, what we're doing will cease to matter! After a couple hours of watching your videos, you said two words that to me are a sign. Skewed. Swerve. Dude you basically said the title of my book. The other video was "how to beat procrastination like it owes you money" Lol! After 7 months I'm going to start writing again. Thank you.
While viewing this episode, I asked myself whether there were instances of silence during the recording that were edited out. I wonder how the viewing experience would've changed when these natural pauses were retained. Maybe it would add a more authentic and engaging rhythm to the dialogue.
Men, FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE - Have a strict morning routine. - Invest in stocks, bonds, shares & funds. - Income Generating Activity eg business or a farm. - Lift weights. Eat healthy. - Read books. - Learn a skill & foreign language. Have DISCIPLINE.
Incredible episode Mark and Matt! You truly touched on subjects and perspectives I don’t thank many, if any, have touched on around the consequences and choices surrounding varying degrees of notoriety and success. Thank you for this thoughtful discussion and sharing so candidly your experiences 💜.
MM has been my main idol for years, but this video helped me in a different way because I’ve found myself really jaded trying to create an online audience for my book launch. It’s so good to be reminded, blowing up is a 1 in a million, so it’s okay to just enjoy yourself and not try to game the algorithm. The algorithm works best when there’s a sweet spot between doing what you love and giving people what they want; I can’t forget about that first half. 🤙🏽
Kudos Matt! I am almost 60 and it took me much longer to learn what you've learned! Being female doesn't help either, raised to be co dependent. Much respect!
I know that it's logically gonna be impossible sometimes but I wish all the podcasts with featured guests will be in person from now on. This feels so much better and less janked :)
I definitely love the thought that investors making a ton of money quickly will be negative in the long run. We see it in Matt’s story, and I think it’s the same in relationships or marriages too. Too much success too quickly without enough struggle makes you undeservedly confident and you never learn how to push through difficult situations.
The episode is about Matt but I want to mention the comment on Ammar’s relationship with his dad. Mark cringed at that video/series because it wasn’t meant for him. The episode/series touched the audience it was meant for. Recognising that is important and it’s ok.
some of the people will call it stupid but from my pov this guy has balls of steel to leave fame for himself it needs a lot of courage to put yourself first . especially if you, re told to put others' feeling first . this podcast give me a different perspective of youtube. love your podcast
Mark, your point regarding 'Early Doors Success' & how in nearly all endeavours - this is a bad thing, is so very apt & I don't think it's a gets enough consideration. Be in RUclips, Investing, Writing or in my case, online gambling - 'winning' too early only ruins you in the end cause you can't REALLY appreciate just how Sweet or Fleeting your accomplishments are without the counterbalance of years worth of effort beforehand
Shout out to Matt, Mark, and the team from one of those recently divorced 40 year olds going to nightclubs 🕺🏻 Great messages. Great lessons. Keep up the great work!
38:10 as a video editor, i can agree with that 100% i got into it by "accident" by making my own stuff here and there and then i just got the opportunity to edit for creators and now im kind of stuck. I started it as a side hustle while studying, but now I graduated and this is my only source of income but honestly I've felt like moving on for 6 months already. But if I quit, Idk what to do
Mark , I have trouble maintaining friendships in my life . I don't have anyone in my social life rt now with whom I can talk about my problems or have deep conversations and worse, no person with whom I regularly hang out with apart from the ones I do bcoz I have to . There is no one whom I can call a close friend. So , I want some advices on maintaining friendships or u can mention me some books as u read a lot of books ,I admire that. So Mark , if u can , please give me some book mentions for friends . Whatever the book is (fiction/nonfiction) , if it will help me in my social life , I will read it
1. Models -Mark Manson 2. No More Mr Nice Guy -Robert Glover 3. Feeling Good -David Burns 4. Thinking Fast and Slow -Daniel Kahneman. These four book will HELP you get to the root of your problem. Fix the core, not the symptoms. Pretty much all you need to know is covered between these four books.
That was a really nice episode heightening stuff I've been thinking about and wondering if they are in the right direction (as Mark says there is not such a thing as a personal problem, somewhere there is at least one person with the same problem). I guess that comment would be too long for anyone to read it but fuck it... Here are my three not so special problems that you shared thoughts on: 1. Blogging for a living - when I was at school I used to write short stories with very detailed descriptions for things in the nature (storms, sunrise, etc) which were intertwined with personal stories giving human life to the nature. No one in my community didn't know what exactly these essays were but they all loved it.I even went to a very famous literature professor in a local university and he fell in love with them! I couldn't believe it. I was finally seen and understood. We started writing together based on my grandpa's paintings (he is an artist). It felt more then normal to start a blog, as I was also studing something that I hated and wouldn't turn into a career, so I did. Everyone made fun of me in my class, as I wrote quite cocky stuff in Mark's attitude but coming from a girl who matured a little too soon, but they all kept readings my articles. At some point I took it too seriously as my way out cuz at the same period I couldn't figure out where to go to university and what career to choose. And I hated every minute of it. I remember starting my firts summer job working 12h per day feeling ashamed that I didn't post anything and I didn't feel like it. I was counting on this becoming my path and way of earning money so bad that I lost all inspiration. I couldn't write a single line and I was terrified cuz for me that was who I am. That summer job was a pivot point as I found out about graphic design course and gave all of my money that I earned for it. I stated my first graphic design work right after school and I felt ashamed that I ever had a blog. I kept paying for the hosting but I hit it from people's eyes. I am actually writing the comment from the blog's yt channel and I'm always concerned that people might click on it and see my failure. The job was fine, got my money but still couldn't write a damn line... Five years forward...guess what... I'm a well-paid Product Designer in an international company, I live in the capital city of my home country. I got my shit together for the most part (again as Mark says workings with my current best guess). I work remotely and basically I can go wherever the fuck I want and.... and... I started having inspiration to write! Cuz I don’t rely on it! Still haven't done anything with the blog but I'll get there when I get there. So that point for doing something not needing the money from it felt very close to me. 2. Relying on getting paid for creative work - again...I'm a designer!!! (One more reason to be ashamed of my WordPress blog, if there isn't enough). You think I get paid for being creative? Bullshit! I get paid for following instructions. I also joke with myself for being a TV remote control from the communism (cuz old tv back then didn't have any remote controls and people used to ask their children to go to the tv and change the channel) - I do make stuff look the way someone wants to only because they don't know how to do it by themselves. That's not creative! 😂 And I'm fine with that. Yes, when years past, you get some stuff on your portfolio and get a decent job where people are not fucking d*ckheads you can say "that's not the best UX approach" here and there but still you're doing things that should be practical and should work fine (same as the toilets in the example by the way 😂). So yeah... Mark is very right for creative work and what pays your bills at the end of the day. 3. Saying yes to everything and life after bad marriage - strangely enough my bf got married and divorced ridiculously fucking young. He started his relationship with me right after that and I was very nervous about it cuz he hasn't been single...like...ever. He kept saying he's fine (same as Ross when he finds out about Rachel and Joey - lound and sweeky) but he's not fine 😂 He hasn't been himself in years and he's stuck in party-exploration mode. We clicked very well in the beginning cuz I was traveling, climbing, diving, rocking to metal festivals buuut the moments I started wanting stability, staying home, chilling, not meeting people it all became a shit show. I'm trying to explain to him that you can't keep saying yes to everything to the rest of your life and coming home at 3 am after just wondering in the streets for no reason (no alcohol and drugs, just enjoying yourself) at the age of 30+ when you have a wife and baby ( we're not there yet) or playing video games till 5 am and sleep till 3pm on a regular basis buuut he keeps feeling as if I'm not giving him space my saying that and he has a feeling that this is something that is defining him while I thing he just didn't have the time for it. I had my fair amount of time just doing shit while still working 9-5 job and I'm done with it but after our initial honey moon phase he went back to his old self from before marriage. And you can't make someone understand something by forcing them, so... he has to live it to see it. I started laughing and almost woke him up in 3pm when Matt said he feels like his highschool version 😂 So if anyone read this toilet paper sized comment thank you, be happy and present. Life is a very hard thing to wrap your head around it. We shouldn't rely on being always happy as well cuz that's not realistic but be honest to yourself and ask hard questions! Peace ❤
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Here is the entire summary: ```markdown 🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🌟 *Matt Dahlia's Journey with Yes Theory* - Matt Dahlia's meteoric rise from a dishwasher to a RUclips sensation with Yes Theory. - Yes Theory's early success, experiencing rapid fame, fortune, and the challenges that came with it: *- Transition from obscurity to worldwide recognition within seven years.* *- Experiencing codependency with an audience and the toll of excessive success.* 01:51 🎬 *Challenges of RUclips Stardom* - The allure of becoming a RUclipsr among young individuals and the reality behind such aspirations. - Matt's decision to leave RUclips at the peak of his success and the challenges he faced: *- Struggles with overwhelming obligations and the pressure to maintain constant engagement.* *- The discrepancy between public persona and private life causing stress and burnout.* 03:42 🤔 *Struggles with Extroversion and Identity* - Matt's realization of introversion conflicting with the extroverted demands of RUclips. - Challenges faced due to constant social interactions and the need to always be "on": *- Struggles in reconciling the public perception versus his true self.* *- Pressure to maintain an exaggerated persona leading to exhaustion and emotional strain.* 05:12 🔄 *Boundary Challenges in RUclips Journey* - Discussion about the lack of boundaries between public and private life in a RUclips career. - Matt's experiences dealing with the constant need for performance and its psychological toll: *- The struggle to request breaks or reduced workload due to ingrained work ethic.* *- Childhood upbringing influencing the difficulty in setting personal limits or taking breaks.* 06:09 💡 *Psychological Impact of RUclips Fame* - Exploring the psychological impact and upbringing's role in shaping behavior within RUclips fame. - Matt's childhood experiences affecting behavior patterns and relationships: *- Balancing extroverted traits for public approval leading to exhaustion and inner conflict.* *- Perceived obligation to maintain a certain image despite personal discomfort.* 08:33 🔄 *Challenges of Maintaining Persona* - Addressing the pressure of maintaining a consistent persona on RUclips and its consequences. - The burden of being perceived consistently versus the personal toll it takes: *- The struggle between authentic self-expression and the pressure to fulfill audience expectations.* *- The exhaustion from perpetuating a persona leading to a feeling of stagnation and frustration.* 09:32 🤝 *Codependency and Personal Growth* - The discussion on codependency with a RUclips channel and its parallels with personal relationships. - Matt's realization about his codependent relationship with the RUclips audience: *- Similarities between codependency in personal relationships and an audience-driven career.* *- Fear of regression and the struggle to define personal identity amidst success.* 10:56 🔄 *Rediscovering Self-Identity Post-RUclips* - Delving into the challenge of rediscovering self-identity after immense success at a young age. - Matt's feeling of a lack of personal growth amidst professional accomplishments: *- The struggle of feeling stuck in a youthful mindset despite experiencing considerable success.* *- The difficulty in reconciling personal maturity with past achievements and career trajectory.* 19:54 🚀 *Matt recounts the rapid growth of their RUclips channel, detailing their early success, the unique offer from Snapchat, and the exponential increase in subscribers.* - Growing their RUclips channel to hundreds of thousands of subscribers within a year, reaching a million within three years. - The absence of major setbacks or the need to pivot, signifying seamless progress from the start. 21:52 🧠 *Success, growth, and its potential downsides are discussed, highlighting the impact of quick success on learning important lessons and developing sustainable habits.* - Analogies drawn between quick success in investment and creative pursuits. - The necessity of experiencing setbacks and failures to build sustainable long-term success. - Establishing boundaries between personal and public life amidst rapid growth and fame. 23:48 🌟 *The pressures and challenges of fame and audience expectations are explored, touching upon the intense pressure to constantly please, the codependent relationship formed with audience feedback, and the lack of personal boundaries.* - Struggles with maintaining authenticity amid audience expectations. - Instances of prioritizing audience feedback over personal connections. - Reflecting on the overwhelming influence of social media fame on personal life decisions. 26:22 💡 *Reflecting on the fear of authenticity and avoiding personal moments due to the obsession with performance and audience validation, discussing the struggle of living authentically and avoiding the temptation to constantly perform for an audience.* - Recognizing the fear associated with putting aside the performance and being genuinely present. - Insights into the hesitation to embrace personal moments due to the fear of losing audience interest. - Acknowledgment of the importance of being present and living authentically, away from the pressures of performing for an audience. 29:20 📚 *Balancing vulnerability and privacy in public-facing careers is discussed, focusing on the challenges of sharing personal struggles while avoiding complications that arise from sharing current ongoing issues.* - The difficulty in sharing unresolved personal struggles due to potential complications. - The distinction between sharing past versus present personal issues. - Navigating the balance between revealing personal struggles for connection and safeguarding ongoing personal challenges from public disclosure. 31:49 🎤 *The power and discomfort of vulnerability in public figures' narratives are highlighted, emphasizing the potency of vulnerability in art and personal stories while acknowledging the emotional toll and self-sacrifice it entails.* - The resonance of vulnerability in connecting deeply with an audience. - The internal conflict between sharing deeply personal stories and the emotional aftermath. - Balancing the benefits of vulnerability with the emotional toll it takes on public figures. 34:47 💼 *Creating healthy relationships with public-facing careers is addressed, emphasizing the impact of stress and suggesting the significance of not solely relying on creative work for income.* - Stress levels among creators relative to financial dependence on creative work. - The importance of not relying solely on creative output for income. - Maintaining a balanced relationship with creativity when it becomes the primary source of income. 37:42 🤔 *The dichotomy between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in creative work is discussed, focusing on how external incentives may negatively affect creative endeavors, leading to a conflict between authenticity and audience expectations.* - Distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in creative work. - The adverse impact of external motivators on creativity and authenticity. - The ongoing struggle between creating for oneself versus creating for external validation. 39:06 📽 *Creative Pressure in Traditional Media* - Feeling stifled by extrinsic motivation in traditional media (TV, film, books). - Stress, pressure, and anxiety associated with high-stakes projects like movies or books. - Lack of creative liberty due to contractual obligations and the pressure to deliver a hit. 41:30 🎥 *Balancing Passion Projects and Audience Expectations* - Discussing the freedom to experiment in content creation due to a strong, established audience. - Highlighting the importance of pursuing personal passion projects alongside audience-driven content. - Encouraging creators to maintain a balance between what they create for their audience and what they create for personal fulfillment. 43:57 💡 *Setting Boundaries and Work-Life Balance* - Exploring the challenges of collaborating with a partner and setting boundaries in a relationship. - Emphasizing the significance of setting personal boundaries for work and life. 48:30 📚 *Challenges in Writing a Book* - Discussing the emotional challenges encountered while writing a book. - Initially despising the writing process and feeling trapped by the book's creation. 52:23 🌟 *Superpowers of Yes Theory Founders* - Highlighting the distinctive strengths of each Yes Theory founder. - Thomas's storytelling prowess, Ammar's artistic vision, and Matt's focus on community. 54:19 🏁 *Anticipating Life Shifts and Identity Changes* - Addressing the anticipation and expectations regarding monumental life shifts. - Acknowledging the potential post-transition feelings of disorientation and uncertainty. 56:23 🏖 *Plans Post-Life Shifts* - Expressing plans for a break and leisure time post-major life transitions. - Emphasizing the desire for freedom from obligations, including a hiatus from cameras. Made with HARPA AI ```
what's your opinion on leo skepi, mark? he's like the buffed up, bald, albanian gay version of you - and he's lit as shit. he's also sassy and tries to appear 'strong'. he has pretty good self-help advice on his podcast so I tend to fit in time in my busy schedule to watch the Subtle Art podcast and the "aware and aggravated" one by leo. Checkk him out, i wanna know what u think of his advice. tbh, all this self help stuff is repetitive, just packaged uniquely to suit their viewer's tastes. even so, your recent video on '7 life lessons' was truly life changing and reassuring to hear. i think u should have some random podcasts with random celebrities or athletes - like gymnasts or something. would be cool.
Hey Mark. I find that changing angles and cutting frames every 5 seconds to be very distracting. I wonder if it is just me. Great interview nonetheless!
Great podcast but the game at the end where he has to choose between his crew, that wasn’t fair Mark. You know what the guy is going through and you ask that question on RUclips. Not fair
another book from a RUclipsr that is kind of in the same vibe is " van niks naar clicks" from a Dutch RUclipsr called Kalvijn. So it has been done just not on the scale of a channel like Yes Theory...
Whenever pretending becomes your life, you’re no longer in touch with your real self. Congratulations to Matt for having the courage to be real.
Absolutely!❤🎉
Love you Mark! Super grateful for everything we've learned from you and your work, and even more grateful to have connected with you in the real world :) - Thomas
this crossover was INCREDIBE mannn
The cross over we never expected
Two legends!
Thanks to Matt for being so candid and forthcoming. Be sure to check out the book, it's an incredible story.
love this content mark
No one fuckin knows where they goin Matt, just enjoy the ride
Starting to think these podcasts are just excuses for you to show off all the people you're friends with😮
nahh ive been thing about this crossover ever since matt started writing that book
Amazing podcast 🎉 Mark I recommend you add microphones to clear up the audio to improve the sound quality 🎙️
I found Yes Theory during covid. I'm in my 60's and I marveled not at how they say yes, because it's really a youth related thing to say yes; but I marveled at their ability to be civil and warm towards each other on the team, after a meteoric rise to fame and fortune, crossing cultural barriers, languages, time zones and close quarters. That was really impressive to me. I subscribed only because I wanted to watch how this would play out. I have to say, the jerky camera is a tough thing to overlook; I can watch better travelogues on other channels, but I was fascinated by 4 young men, of different backgrounds, traveling together and inspiring others to grab the day and get uncomfortable. I hope these guys stay friends their whole lives. I won't be around, but in 40 years, how cool to have a reunion episode. A 'where are they now' epilogue.
Don't write yourself off, we hope u will stay and watch with the community on ur centennial !
AGI will be able to create that episode for you in a few years. You won't have to wait 4 decades.
I related to Matt a lot during this podcast. I've always struggled with pleasing people and codependency. i've built my identity around it in some ways. It's hard to know where your pleasing self stops and your genuine self starts. I appreciate you guys making this episode!
This is well edited. My hat's off to the producer who actually makes a show instead of just throwing unfinished stuff up onto RUclips.
I think the split-screen parts are a smart editing decision, feels more like a real conversation.
That was nice. I love to see grown men have good conversations about deep topics. The world needs more of that.
Don't they usually?
@@sudhakar7889most people don't regardless of gender
@@Vivi_9 Friends do.
@@sudhakar7889 if you have good ones who are smart! Most people are not emotionally mature enough to have the capacity for a deep conversation
@@Vivi_9 Indeed. Many a times it's result of education and culture.
Wow, great chat. I admire the ability to "wake up" at such a young age. So introspective.
I'm from Gen X. we never grew up with these kinds of conversations. Such an important message.
Well done!
47:00 people don't understand one thing
as time changes people also change , accept the change and move on as fast as you could
I've read it somewhere i don't remember clearly which book
people often create their identity to what they have specialized in , like what they studied in college or university , they often feel obliged to continue what they specialized even when they're not interested in it cause they've spent so much money in college or university
Wow when you started talking about putting yourself to the side during a bad marriage and it clicked why I felt compelled to watch this. I experienced that exact thing and have over the years been getting to know myself and what I want to do. I've also found that with all of the deep healing I've done, I'm constantly in that state of getting to know myself. Thank you for sharing your insight on this topic!
This was so right on time, thank you both!! I've been uploading on RUclips for just over two years and was just yesterday thinking about what you said about how much freedom I've had to experiment and try different stuff cuz barely anyone was watching. And still as it's grown slowly and the pressure starts creeping up to make more of what the audience wants, it feels like what Mark was describing about adjusting to that over time. I feel very grateful at this point for these last two years to find my rhythm with creating where I don't feel like I'm just feeding the algorithm. I've had a chance to root into my intrinsic motivation. "If you lose at a pie eating contest, you didn't really lose, cuz you got to eat pie."
The series of Flow books by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi is such an amazing series, which prepares one nicely for life. This book came to my mind close to the end of this video. I don't know whether Matt read it or not. I got so many questions answered by these books (along with many other great books on subjects of happiness and living a fulfilled life in general).
Great episode and great guest, thanks Mark and Matt. Loved being able to hear the stories of someone I used to watch when I was younger and someone whose RUclips channel philosophy I used to idolize. Hearing Matt talk about how he feels he's still 19 now that he stopped acting for the audience and started figuring out who he truly is was super relatable. Brought me great solace knowing that we're all in this together. You'll get through it, amor fati :)
I love when Mark laughs. It feels so heartfelt. ❤❤
I came across "Yes Theory" once upon a time, and was immediately grateful that I had begun my mastery of saying NO. Watching the content drained the life out of me.
I absolutely am in love with this podcast and this ep is a genius idea to show that self-help advice is not absolute
43:50ish... Exactly why I've NEVER wanted to own or run a skate shop. Skating my entire life and I feel if I tried to make a living off it, I would absolutely ruin it for me. Let's keep some stuff for ourselves.
As much as it's sad to see Matt leave, as much as I'm happy for him! very inspiring! I relate to many things Matt was discussing today. Thanks Mark for this amazing episode!
I saw a video of a guy who would flirt with and take out a girl he would see at his cornerstone alot, and he recorded the entire date, and subsequent dates as well. It was cute for sure, but also incredibly unnerving to read between the lines cuz its a girl you don’t know much of yet whom you’re placing hundreds of thousands of eyes in front of.
It made me think how much better that date would have been if it were just them two, and uncomfortable saying ,”this seems like a personal event they should enjoy themselves, we shouldn’t be seeing this.”
I feel you, Matt. I didn't realize I am codependent with an insitution because I worked with them for a quite long time. Turned out this institution didn't and doesn't value me as I expected. I quit at 35, continued my study, but... with my CV revolves around it, I couldn't "escape" but to return working for the same institution. The extrinsic value (a.k.a. money) feels binding, because at the same time I need to support my parents. Other institutions would pay much less or even ignore my applications because, again, my experiences mostly revolve around one institution. I did try to soul-searching by solo traveling the world for 3.5 months, but still I felt empty. The moving from city to city, flying from country to country, didn't help. Hope you find what you're looking for, and soon 👍🏼.
Omg! “I’m just gonna get good at pottery.” The worst thing for a potter is trading happiness for custom jobs. I get no joy doing custom so I don’t do it. Worse, I get anxiety from custom. It ruins everything.
Ego is the enemy...No one becomes self aware catering to an audience
Love Yes Theory. Tremendous work! But glad he said I'm lost in the soup and I need to get out. Because sometimes we just have to! It's not a strange thing for me to hear that someone was willing to give up everything in order to find themselves again. Because at the end of the day if we're not okay, what we're doing will cease to matter!
After a couple hours of watching your videos, you said two words that to me are a sign. Skewed. Swerve. Dude you basically said the title of my book. The other video was "how to beat procrastination like it owes you money" Lol! After 7 months I'm going to start writing again. Thank you.
Well this is a dark twist on Yes. Excited to watch.
This video it's a reminder that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away, even when everyone else wants you to stay.
While viewing this episode, I asked myself whether there were instances of silence during the recording that were edited out. I wonder how the viewing experience would've changed when these natural pauses were retained. Maybe it would add a more authentic and engaging rhythm to the dialogue.
Men,
FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE
- Have a strict morning routine.
- Invest in stocks, bonds, shares & funds.
- Income Generating Activity eg business or a farm.
- Lift weights. Eat healthy.
- Read books.
- Learn a skill & foreign language.
Have DISCIPLINE.
Incredible episode Mark and Matt! You truly touched on subjects and perspectives I don’t thank many, if any, have touched on around the consequences and choices surrounding varying degrees of notoriety and success. Thank you for this thoughtful discussion and sharing so candidly your experiences 💜.
MM has been my main idol for years, but this video helped me in a different way because I’ve found myself really jaded trying to create an online audience for my book launch. It’s so good to be reminded, blowing up is a 1 in a million, so it’s okay to just enjoy yourself and not try to game the algorithm. The algorithm works best when there’s a sweet spot between doing what you love and giving people what they want; I can’t forget about that first half. 🤙🏽
I just loved the conversation. It's kind of challenging to put on hold when you are getting a lot. I always love Matt.
Funny that I met Mark at an event a few months ago not feeling how exhausting it must have been for him and I thought, wow he’s like on RUclips 😅
Kudos Matt! I am almost 60 and it took me much longer to learn what you've learned! Being female doesn't help either, raised to be co dependent. Much respect!
I know that it's logically gonna be impossible sometimes but I wish all the podcasts with featured guests will be in person from now on.
This feels so much better and less janked :)
Love this! Mark is almost mentoring Matt throughout this video, great camaraderie!
I definitely love the thought that investors making a ton of money quickly will be negative in the long run. We see it in Matt’s story, and I think it’s the same in relationships or marriages too. Too much success too quickly without enough struggle makes you undeservedly confident and you never learn how to push through difficult situations.
The episode is about Matt but I want to mention the comment on Ammar’s relationship with his dad.
Mark cringed at that video/series because it wasn’t meant for him. The episode/series touched the audience it was meant for.
Recognising that is important and it’s ok.
Wow. I never expected this duo! 💯🔥
some of the people will call it stupid but from my pov this guy has balls of steel to leave fame for himself it needs a lot of courage to put yourself first . especially if you, re told to put others' feeling first . this podcast give me a different perspective of youtube. love your podcast
Freedom of choice is such a piece of joy
I do not know how but I feel this episode healed a part of me which I did no know hurt. Thank you Matt, thank you Mark.
Mark, your point regarding 'Early Doors Success' & how in nearly all endeavours - this is a bad thing, is so very apt & I don't think it's a gets enough consideration.
Be in RUclips, Investing, Writing or in my case, online gambling - 'winning' too early only ruins you in the end cause you can't REALLY appreciate just how Sweet or Fleeting your accomplishments are without the counterbalance of years worth of effort beforehand
Always refreshing to listen to an honest conversation. Respect lads.
Shout out to Matt, Mark, and the team from one of those recently divorced 40 year olds going to nightclubs 🕺🏻
Great messages. Great lessons.
Keep up the great work!
Thank-you. An amazing episode. And truly helpful to digest...
Amazing episode and very inspirational. Thanks Matt for sharing your journey and Mark for the discussion!
38:10 as a video editor, i can agree with that 100%
i got into it by "accident" by making my own stuff here and there and then i just got the opportunity to edit for creators and now im kind of stuck. I started it as a side hustle while studying, but now I graduated and this is my only source of income but honestly I've felt like moving on for 6 months already. But if I quit, Idk what to do
Thanks guys! I needed this 🙏
Mark , I have trouble maintaining friendships in my life . I don't have anyone in my social life rt now with whom I can talk about my problems or have deep conversations and worse, no person with whom I regularly hang out with apart from the ones I do bcoz I have to . There is no one whom I can call a close friend. So , I want some advices on maintaining friendships or u can mention me some books as u read a lot of books ,I admire that. So Mark , if u can , please give me some book mentions for friends . Whatever the book is (fiction/nonfiction) , if it will help me in my social life , I will read it
There are no stupid questions, but there are lazy questions
1. Models -Mark Manson
2. No More Mr Nice Guy -Robert Glover
3. Feeling Good -David Burns
4. Thinking Fast and Slow -Daniel Kahneman.
These four book will HELP you get to the root of your problem. Fix the core, not the symptoms. Pretty much all you need to know is covered between these four books.
@@Jurtz thanks for letting me know
@@JaysonT1 thanks
Why do you spaces in between full stops and commas?
this video should watch more people, i think it has so much value in it, keep it up Mark!
This is truly inspiring. Thank you both for this incredible & authentic insight. ❤️ it's so important to know.
Thanks for posting!
That was a really nice episode heightening stuff I've been thinking about and wondering if they are in the right direction (as Mark says there is not such a thing as a personal problem, somewhere there is at least one person with the same problem). I guess that comment would be too long for anyone to read it but fuck it... Here are my three not so special problems that you shared thoughts on:
1. Blogging for a living - when I was at school I used to write short stories with very detailed descriptions for things in the nature (storms, sunrise, etc) which were intertwined with personal stories giving human life to the nature. No one in my community didn't know what exactly these essays were but they all loved it.I even went to a very famous literature professor in a local university and he fell in love with them! I couldn't believe it. I was finally seen and understood.
We started writing together based on my grandpa's paintings (he is an artist). It felt more then normal to start a blog, as I was also studing something that I hated and wouldn't turn into a career, so I did. Everyone made fun of me in my class, as I wrote quite cocky stuff in Mark's attitude but coming from a girl who matured a little too soon, but they all kept readings my articles.
At some point I took it too seriously as my way out cuz at the same period I couldn't figure out where to go to university and what career to choose. And I hated every minute of it. I remember starting my firts summer job working 12h per day feeling ashamed that I didn't post anything and I didn't feel like it. I was counting on this becoming my path and way of earning money so bad that I lost all inspiration. I couldn't write a single line and I was terrified cuz for me that was who I am.
That summer job was a pivot point as I found out about graphic design course and gave all of my money that I earned for it.
I stated my first graphic design work right after school and I felt ashamed that I ever had a blog. I kept paying for the hosting but I hit it from people's eyes. I am actually writing the comment from the blog's yt channel and I'm always concerned that people might click on it and see my failure. The job was fine, got my money but still couldn't write a damn line...
Five years forward...guess what... I'm a well-paid Product Designer in an international company, I live in the capital city of my home country. I got my shit together for the most part (again as Mark says workings with my current best guess). I work remotely and basically I can go wherever the fuck I want and.... and... I started having inspiration to write! Cuz I don’t rely on it! Still haven't done anything with the blog but I'll get there when I get there. So that point for doing something not needing the money from it felt very close to me.
2. Relying on getting paid for creative work - again...I'm a designer!!! (One more reason to be ashamed of my WordPress blog, if there isn't enough). You think I get paid for being creative? Bullshit! I get paid for following instructions. I also joke with myself for being a TV remote control from the communism (cuz old tv back then didn't have any remote controls and people used to ask their children to go to the tv and change the channel) - I do make stuff look the way someone wants to only because they don't know how to do it by themselves. That's not creative! 😂 And I'm fine with that. Yes, when years past, you get some stuff on your portfolio and get a decent job where people are not fucking d*ckheads you can say "that's not the best UX approach" here and there but still you're doing things that should be practical and should work fine (same as the toilets in the example by the way 😂). So yeah... Mark is very right for creative work and what pays your bills at the end of the day.
3. Saying yes to everything and life after bad marriage - strangely enough my bf got married and divorced ridiculously fucking young. He started his relationship with me right after that and I was very nervous about it cuz he hasn't been single...like...ever. He kept saying he's fine (same as Ross when he finds out about Rachel and Joey - lound and sweeky) but he's not fine 😂 He hasn't been himself in years and he's stuck in party-exploration mode. We clicked very well in the beginning cuz I was traveling, climbing, diving, rocking to metal festivals buuut the moments I started wanting stability, staying home, chilling, not meeting people it all became a shit show. I'm trying to explain to him that you can't keep saying yes to everything to the rest of your life and coming home at 3 am after just wondering in the streets for no reason (no alcohol and drugs, just enjoying yourself) at the age of 30+ when you have a wife and baby ( we're not there yet) or playing video games till 5 am and sleep till 3pm on a regular basis buuut he keeps feeling as if I'm not giving him space my saying that and he has a feeling that this is something that is defining him while I thing he just didn't have the time for it. I had my fair amount of time just doing shit while still working 9-5 job and I'm done with it but after our initial honey moon phase he went back to his old self from before marriage. And you can't make someone understand something by forcing them, so... he has to live it to see it. I started laughing and almost woke him up in 3pm when Matt said he feels like his highschool version 😂
So if anyone read this toilet paper sized comment thank you, be happy and present. Life is a very hard thing to wrap your head around it. We shouldn't rely on being always happy as well cuz that's not realistic but be honest to yourself and ask hard questions! Peace ❤
It’s great to listen to these on Spotify, but the sound quality is not so good there.
Otherwise great episode as always💪🏼
Great interview! Never heard the threesome approach for FMK, game changer.
Excellent episode, which I really enjoyed. 😊
🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦South Africa loves you two❤❤
This is heavy. Thank you 😂
It all comes down to "I don't need you, that's why I enjoy our relationship"
Codependent relationships are parasitic. It's so important to get out of such relationships and build a self identity.
Looveeeed this interview!!! Thanks for sharing :’)
This was great Mark. Really spoke to me !
If the movie Yes Man was real
The movie Yes Man _was_ real. It was based on a book by Danny Wallace. Check it out, it's a great read!
Such a helpful conversation. Thank you both!
The host-guest duo we didn't know we needed 🔥
Amazingly insightful video. Thanks, M&M!
Amazing interview!
The collaboration we never expect
Fantastic content, Mark! Sending cheers and warm greetings from Brazil. Looking forward to more amazing content 🇧🇷
yes! gotta read ur new book matt!
⛔ Could not find **Add a comment** button. Here is the entire summary:
```markdown
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🌟 *Matt Dahlia's Journey with Yes Theory*
- Matt Dahlia's meteoric rise from a dishwasher to a RUclips sensation with Yes Theory.
- Yes Theory's early success, experiencing rapid fame, fortune, and the challenges that came with it:
*- Transition from obscurity to worldwide recognition within seven years.*
*- Experiencing codependency with an audience and the toll of excessive success.*
01:51 🎬 *Challenges of RUclips Stardom*
- The allure of becoming a RUclipsr among young individuals and the reality behind such aspirations.
- Matt's decision to leave RUclips at the peak of his success and the challenges he faced:
*- Struggles with overwhelming obligations and the pressure to maintain constant engagement.*
*- The discrepancy between public persona and private life causing stress and burnout.*
03:42 🤔 *Struggles with Extroversion and Identity*
- Matt's realization of introversion conflicting with the extroverted demands of RUclips.
- Challenges faced due to constant social interactions and the need to always be "on":
*- Struggles in reconciling the public perception versus his true self.*
*- Pressure to maintain an exaggerated persona leading to exhaustion and emotional strain.*
05:12 🔄 *Boundary Challenges in RUclips Journey*
- Discussion about the lack of boundaries between public and private life in a RUclips career.
- Matt's experiences dealing with the constant need for performance and its psychological toll:
*- The struggle to request breaks or reduced workload due to ingrained work ethic.*
*- Childhood upbringing influencing the difficulty in setting personal limits or taking breaks.*
06:09 💡 *Psychological Impact of RUclips Fame*
- Exploring the psychological impact and upbringing's role in shaping behavior within RUclips fame.
- Matt's childhood experiences affecting behavior patterns and relationships:
*- Balancing extroverted traits for public approval leading to exhaustion and inner conflict.*
*- Perceived obligation to maintain a certain image despite personal discomfort.*
08:33 🔄 *Challenges of Maintaining Persona*
- Addressing the pressure of maintaining a consistent persona on RUclips and its consequences.
- The burden of being perceived consistently versus the personal toll it takes:
*- The struggle between authentic self-expression and the pressure to fulfill audience expectations.*
*- The exhaustion from perpetuating a persona leading to a feeling of stagnation and frustration.*
09:32 🤝 *Codependency and Personal Growth*
- The discussion on codependency with a RUclips channel and its parallels with personal relationships.
- Matt's realization about his codependent relationship with the RUclips audience:
*- Similarities between codependency in personal relationships and an audience-driven career.*
*- Fear of regression and the struggle to define personal identity amidst success.*
10:56 🔄 *Rediscovering Self-Identity Post-RUclips*
- Delving into the challenge of rediscovering self-identity after immense success at a young age.
- Matt's feeling of a lack of personal growth amidst professional accomplishments:
*- The struggle of feeling stuck in a youthful mindset despite experiencing considerable success.*
*- The difficulty in reconciling personal maturity with past achievements and career trajectory.*
19:54 🚀 *Matt recounts the rapid growth of their RUclips channel, detailing their early success, the unique offer from Snapchat, and the exponential increase in subscribers.*
- Growing their RUclips channel to hundreds of thousands of subscribers within a year, reaching a million within three years.
- The absence of major setbacks or the need to pivot, signifying seamless progress from the start.
21:52 🧠 *Success, growth, and its potential downsides are discussed, highlighting the impact of quick success on learning important lessons and developing sustainable habits.*
- Analogies drawn between quick success in investment and creative pursuits.
- The necessity of experiencing setbacks and failures to build sustainable long-term success.
- Establishing boundaries between personal and public life amidst rapid growth and fame.
23:48 🌟 *The pressures and challenges of fame and audience expectations are explored, touching upon the intense pressure to constantly please, the codependent relationship formed with audience feedback, and the lack of personal boundaries.*
- Struggles with maintaining authenticity amid audience expectations.
- Instances of prioritizing audience feedback over personal connections.
- Reflecting on the overwhelming influence of social media fame on personal life decisions.
26:22 💡 *Reflecting on the fear of authenticity and avoiding personal moments due to the obsession with performance and audience validation, discussing the struggle of living authentically and avoiding the temptation to constantly perform for an audience.*
- Recognizing the fear associated with putting aside the performance and being genuinely present.
- Insights into the hesitation to embrace personal moments due to the fear of losing audience interest.
- Acknowledgment of the importance of being present and living authentically, away from the pressures of performing for an audience.
29:20 📚 *Balancing vulnerability and privacy in public-facing careers is discussed, focusing on the challenges of sharing personal struggles while avoiding complications that arise from sharing current ongoing issues.*
- The difficulty in sharing unresolved personal struggles due to potential complications.
- The distinction between sharing past versus present personal issues.
- Navigating the balance between revealing personal struggles for connection and safeguarding ongoing personal challenges from public disclosure.
31:49 🎤 *The power and discomfort of vulnerability in public figures' narratives are highlighted, emphasizing the potency of vulnerability in art and personal stories while acknowledging the emotional toll and self-sacrifice it entails.*
- The resonance of vulnerability in connecting deeply with an audience.
- The internal conflict between sharing deeply personal stories and the emotional aftermath.
- Balancing the benefits of vulnerability with the emotional toll it takes on public figures.
34:47 💼 *Creating healthy relationships with public-facing careers is addressed, emphasizing the impact of stress and suggesting the significance of not solely relying on creative work for income.*
- Stress levels among creators relative to financial dependence on creative work.
- The importance of not relying solely on creative output for income.
- Maintaining a balanced relationship with creativity when it becomes the primary source of income.
37:42 🤔 *The dichotomy between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in creative work is discussed, focusing on how external incentives may negatively affect creative endeavors, leading to a conflict between authenticity and audience expectations.*
- Distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in creative work.
- The adverse impact of external motivators on creativity and authenticity.
- The ongoing struggle between creating for oneself versus creating for external validation.
39:06 📽 *Creative Pressure in Traditional Media*
- Feeling stifled by extrinsic motivation in traditional media (TV, film, books).
- Stress, pressure, and anxiety associated with high-stakes projects like movies or books.
- Lack of creative liberty due to contractual obligations and the pressure to deliver a hit.
41:30 🎥 *Balancing Passion Projects and Audience Expectations*
- Discussing the freedom to experiment in content creation due to a strong, established audience.
- Highlighting the importance of pursuing personal passion projects alongside audience-driven content.
- Encouraging creators to maintain a balance between what they create for their audience and what they create for personal fulfillment.
43:57 💡 *Setting Boundaries and Work-Life Balance*
- Exploring the challenges of collaborating with a partner and setting boundaries in a relationship.
- Emphasizing the significance of setting personal boundaries for work and life.
48:30 📚 *Challenges in Writing a Book*
- Discussing the emotional challenges encountered while writing a book.
- Initially despising the writing process and feeling trapped by the book's creation.
52:23 🌟 *Superpowers of Yes Theory Founders*
- Highlighting the distinctive strengths of each Yes Theory founder.
- Thomas's storytelling prowess, Ammar's artistic vision, and Matt's focus on community.
54:19 🏁 *Anticipating Life Shifts and Identity Changes*
- Addressing the anticipation and expectations regarding monumental life shifts.
- Acknowledging the potential post-transition feelings of disorientation and uncertainty.
56:23 🏖 *Plans Post-Life Shifts*
- Expressing plans for a break and leisure time post-major life transitions.
- Emphasizing the desire for freedom from obligations, including a hiatus from cameras.
Made with HARPA AI
```
Great podcast mark. You are rocking. I hope you will increase the duration more.
Love you both ❤
What a great interview and a genuine conversation. ❤🎉
The colab I never knew I needed
Please bring Ryan Holiday on this podcast Mark. Please. Please. Please. I'm a huge fan of yours by the way !!!
I call this masking, interesting to see how it feels to regulars.
what's your opinion on leo skepi, mark? he's like the buffed up, bald, albanian gay version of you - and he's lit as shit. he's also sassy and tries to appear 'strong'. he has pretty good self-help advice on his podcast so I tend to fit in time in my busy schedule to watch the Subtle Art podcast and the "aware and aggravated" one by leo. Checkk him out, i wanna know what u think of his advice. tbh, all this self help stuff is repetitive, just packaged uniquely to suit their viewer's tastes. even so, your recent video on '7 life lessons' was truly life changing and reassuring to hear. i think u should have some random podcasts with random celebrities or athletes - like gymnasts or something. would be cool.
I freakin love it Matt!!
Thank you! Thins really spoke to me :)
Great Great podcast , really appreciate of things your giving to us are very lessonable, funny educated, relevant amazing mark.😅🤩😍
the first 5 seconds hit hard
Hey Mark. I find that changing angles and cutting frames every 5 seconds to be very distracting. I wonder if it is just me. Great interview nonetheless!
I want that motivational poster! 😂🖤🤟
Nothing is worse than loosing fame?.... Now that is sad
great episode, much love to both
Another great episode. 🙏🏽
I love your content Mark! You are fabulous.
Ola mark estoy leyendo tu libro creo que cambio mi vida de mi mentalidad y se convirtio en mi libro favorito ajajsj
2 coversations in 1 video but only some people will hear 1, ignirance is bliss i guess
Ohhh such a good topic 👏👏👏
When the dream turns into a nightmare.
See your next week Mark❤️❤️❤️
Matt❣️
Great podcast but the game at the end where he has to choose between his crew, that wasn’t fair Mark. You know what the guy is going through and you ask that question on RUclips. Not fair
another book from a RUclipsr that is kind of in the same vibe is " van niks naar clicks" from a Dutch RUclipsr called Kalvijn. So it has been done just not on the scale of a channel like Yes Theory...
My new fav channel
Johnatham Seed is gonna throw a fit 😂
It really does sound like yesterday...the boys did well, I hope they saved but now it's done.
An incredible podcast😘. Enjoyed it to the last bit!💝💪 'fuck, marry, kill'...🤣Matt you neiled it.🤣🤣
Nailed*