0:00: 😊 Happiness is not a destination, but a direction. 11:11: 🧠 Dopamine is a neuromodulator that gives us motivation to do things and is responsible for the anticipation of reward. 22:26: 🤔 The first step to developing self-awareness is to recognize and understand your default behaviors and their consequences, and then create a blueprint of alternative responses for different scenarios. 45:17: 😊 The process of engendering more happiness in life doesn't involve denying unhappiness, but rather experiencing the full range of emotions and processing them in a healthy way. 33:54: ! The danger of dedicating oneself entirely to superior performance at the expense of happiness. 1:19:11: 👨👧👦 The speaker's children embrace his ideas implicitly, even though they may roll their eyes at times. 56:01: 😅 The speaker discusses the characteristics of a population of people who have strong opinions about everything and are difficult to be around. 1:52:27: 🙏 The speaker discusses the importance of faith as one of the pillars of a fulfilling life. 1:07:03: 😊 Smiling is a purely physiological response involving specific muscles, and having crow's feet can indicate a happy life. 1:29:39: 🔑 Decades of patterning can override mindful responses in challenging situations with family members. 1:40:55: 🌟 Creating more happiness teachers throughout society is important for promoting healthier choices and well-being. 2:03:24: ! People tend to choose partners who are similar to them, even though they may not be attracted to them. 2:14:12: ✨ The speaker loves saying yes to opportunities and going on adventures to spread happiness. Recap by Tammy AI
Wow yes thank you indeed you have made me very happy to have written and explained all this made it much easier for me to understand i seriously appreciate it again thank you very much for your kindness 😊
“Anything that brings you pleasure that you do alone, look out. It’s not going to bring you happiness” OMG! Are you serious?!!!! You’ve literally made this all up. You don’t ALWAYS need other people to experience happiness and pleasure. Moving on…..
He meant those acts that are experienced in the limbic system. Not conscientious actions or creative actions which are experienced in the prefrontal cortex. Maybe he could have been clearer but I think from the context it was pretty obvious that he was talking about actions like drinking alcohol and not journaling or painting.
Everything spoken on this podcast is speaking to me. I am learning so much at this point of my life and I am grateful for that. I see things differently now. I desire to give happiness freely to others.
I had a hard time going through my work day while I listened because I needed to stop and write notes over and over. This one is just priceless! Thx Rich!
This should be a required listen for sad people, happy people, and everyone in between! I'm very, very familiar with Rich's incredible ability to conversationally navigate any topic but Arthur as a guest was a great blend of technical knowledge, humor, and real-world application. I don't give many 2+ hour podcasts a second listen but this one will be played multiple times. A big thank you to both gentlemen and the teams behind the scenes that got this out to the world.
Rich, Arthur, RR Team, proof that you're doing a good thing in the world... This episode hit me exactly where I needed it to hit, and precisely when I needed it. Thank you all.
Wow! Amazing! My story: I have Multiple Sclerosis. I have problems with walking. However, rehab I’m doing is slowly improving my abilities. However, it marks my life turning point. I applied for a green card in US. I will be working remotely and live in a van (I’m 46, specialist able to earn good money living in Europe). Now I think my health problems were blessing. I became more disciplined and I know what I want. I started saving money, spend much less. I feel like I’m becoming a new person.
Absolutely uplifting to listen to Rich Rolls and Arthur Brooks Love these very observant explanations to understanding the path of Happiness Such wisdom and open heartedness thank u both for your amazing words Blessings and live 🙏🧘❤️keep shinning ur light ⭐️⭐️⭐️
TRYING to be happy will never make you happy. It’s an oxymoron. Just appreciate the moment you’re living, moment by moment and BE happy. Grateful to be alive. 🙏🏽
"The problem is not that we have unconstructive emotions, but it's that they are mismanaged." - What a gem by Arthur. One of my favorites. Thanks for the incredibly informing discussion.
This happiness is primarily with other people thing is not exactly the simple truth. Let me explain: The last estimate I heard is that extroverts to introverts ratio in the world is 3 to 1. I think this professor needs to address the extroverts because that is by definition the mainstream and the majority so thus interacting with other people as maybe the primary source of happiness perhaps is valid for the majority of people and as an introvert talking to others around me I acknowledge that fully. However this does to some extent invalidate the idea that something like meditation which is inherently a solitary pursuit, because you can only "go inside" of yourself (of course you can physically meditate in a group). But clearly there is almost an infinite amount of evidence that shows that meditation directly increases peace and happiness for the individual immensely especially when practiced consistently. If you agree that happiness comes from within, then the need to interact with other people is by definition external - however biologically we are still social creatures even introverts just to a much lesser extent. There are very few introverts that want zero contact with other people and care zero for other people. Please remember, with regards to introversion or extroversion what consistently gives you energy and enjoyment over a long period of time, whether that's mostly being alone or mostly being with others is essentially the definition of who you are: either an introvert or extrovert. If you are an introvert I would highly highly recommend at least experimenting over several months being extroverted going to parties being social etc and then if you find that that is mostly draining for you then you truly know that solitude is more your jam and that is completely blissful and will bring you deep and profound peace and happiness (relative to going against your own internal grain and trying to be extroverted). Experimentation over several months of being social is key here, then you will actually deep down know.❤
Not to be annoying because I know he said there are exceptions, but I really enjoy being alone at home spending a day reading, cozy hobbies and intellectual pursuits. But these are all alone?
I am also totally miserable with other people. I have like maybe 3 hour of socializing in me and then I need to go off and be alone for a couple of days. Most of what they have to say on this show is recovery/junk science propaganda.
judging by your language i assume you share a similar mindset to me, which is deep down you would like to tolerate more social situations but actually find it mentally or emotioanlly challenging to. when i was in therapy i thought i didnt want to be around people. turns out deep down i do and i fantasise about being more social but i struggle to manage i say this cos you use words like "need" and "totally" which are both indications you feel helpless. @@AlwaysUp-uf9dl
As a Yoga Therapist working within a Bio-enviro-psycho-socio-philosophical model of care I appreciate the mention of practicing meditation (listening to God & or the Universe & Everything) and prayer (talking to God & or The Universe & Everything) when for spirituality can be known as a philosophically and or theologically happy blissful spirit sustained by prayer and optimized by meditation (dhyana)🧘♀️
Love this episode. The idea that our happiness is what we have divided by what we want has been hugely helpful for me. When I find myself on the hedonic treadmill, I try to practice gratitude and remind myself that I have enough. Intentionally trying to reduce my desires by being grateful for what I have has made me happier.
Wow what a great in depth interview, I came to this after Chris evans read it out in his radio show in England. It made me cry as I puppet to all the 10on the list. Having spent 35years being housebound and bedbound through chronic illness, has given me insight into how social isolation kills!! In may I was able to emerge back into society through walking and my world has exploded… giving me such an appreciation of everything mentioned. I cry when people say just say “morning” as to be starved of daily human interaction affects you so deeply. Thank you for a great podcast as always Rich. A listener because of Chris evans. Hope to maybe met you next year if you do carfest again! X
Ultimate Happiness comes by wanting or needing nothing anymore and that is only possible by being fully awake present in the moment as long we are pushed in a illusionary past or future our happiness will always be fake happiness like pleasure, addiction etc these are just products created by mind and memory for true happiness we need to go beyond these creations by becoming more conscious being able to be in control of creation instead of controled by creation. True happiness is more about peace and freedom more than satisfaction or reward.
The idea that you can’t find happiness and enjoyment alone is ludicrous. Some of the happiest most enjoyable memories I have involve going to the movies by myself. One size doesn’t fit all and I wish this “self help experts” would finally understand that.
That’s temporary happiness. I think they were referring to long term well being, in which it’s impossible to be happy alone if you are an average person. We were born to socialize, a lack of it breeds severe mental illness.
@@Nisowyd that’s my point though not everyone is like that. “Normal” doesn’t exist. Ever heard of social anxiety? I have no desire for continuous social interaction or living with anyone. It doesn’t benefit me.
It's all about being awake and consciousness much more then reactive. Reactivity is all about survival. Survival is a product of not feeling whole lack and the reason for that is the inability to stay present in the moment. We are conditioned that we have to be someone to become happy. This is the ego. The stronger our ego. The more difficult it is to experience oneness and true happiness without stress. Stress always comes from separation. The idea that there is something we need to protect or feed. Life is always fully abundant here in the now. Only when we project something in the past or future we are placing our self in a position of lack .Only when we are able to be in the moment and enjoy that fullness we are able to trust to let go as opposite to be or become someone or something or to control something. Letting life unfold like it is without wanting in my opinion is absolutely the greatest happiness.
So much insightful knowledge to ponder and to make a plan to playfully practice. “Happiness is a Direction”. Golden nugget. Thank you Mr Brooks and Mr Roll🙏🏾
I truly enjoyed this chat/intv. It felt familiar when talking about addictions and feeling sort of lost and without an identity when trying to calm down and be in touch with emotions, which at some point for long for a long time believe it was impossible to erase from my memory who I have always believe to know, energy flowing through my pores 24/7, I was wrong. I’d watch this video over and over again ..
after hearing this guy on other podcasts and listening to his lifestyle habits; i am glad that i have other choices. good luck guy and i hope you continue "your jourey" for peace in your life
How is it that this guy is considered an expert? Sure, I find happiness in the company of others but I also find great happiness in a solitary yoga practice, sitting on my patio enjoying my morning latte while watching the sunrise over the mountains, going for a sunset run on the beach with my dog, reading a good book, creating art, crocheting blankets to donate to seniors in need, concocting a new recipe, immersing myself in music, taking a leisurely walk in my neighborhood park watching the cute squirrels scampering about while I listen to a Rich Roll podcast! I could go on and on. He says “anything that’s pleasurable that you do alone is not going to bring you happiness”. Rich doesn’t even challenge this. And he says yeah, there might be an exception here and there, but he really discounted that when it shouldn’t be discounted at all because there are countless solitary activities that greatly contribute to happiness and a satisfying life. Maybe this is just semantics here and he’d say the things I describe are pleasure and not happiness. That’s silly. I pursue all kinds of things, by myself, that contribute greatly to my happiness so I don’t agree with what he’s saying. He also states you can’t get joy without struggle. That’s an absurd statement. For someone Rick finds worthy of his platform, this guest lacks insight. I wonder how happy he is?
Completely agree. There has to be a first time I walk out of this podcast after 10 mins and this is the time. It's also easy to say "just have less" when you had more. The subject engaged here is much more complicated than what is offered here, which still makes the solutions proposed valuable for a certain kind of people.
I also had an issue with some of what he was saying but I would give the whole podcast a listen as there is some really good insights in here amongst the other parts.
I agree and I stopped at 7 mins to check out the comments in this respect. I don't understand why he says that other people are needed to create enjoyment. I get lots of enjoyment from similar things to you by myself. I find that when others are around, it can detract from the enjoyment sometimes. People usually want to talk and more often than not, people talk about the issues they are going through. This means that your attention is on them rather than the activity you love. This isn't always the case of course, some activities can be done with others and can be enjoyable. He also says that things like drinking alone can be damaging but from I've experienced, so is drinking with friends. Just because there are people sharing the experience with you, it doesn't make it OK if you are bingeing or an alcoholic. Many people drink irresponsibly with friends.
Brooks was more nuanced than what you say. He is fine with meditation, solitary walks, etc. What he said you shouldn’t do alone is activities that can be addictive (drinking beer alone rather than with friends). We tend to be too quickly critical these days.
@@myroslavabasladynsky4937 Yes, I went back - right when this confused be, to check if I had missed something - and yes, I had missed the "activities that can be addictive part" the first moment. This not listening closely can be quite misleading.
Hey Rich, you mentioned around the 1:42:16 about this happiness material being in like every high school. I have been listening to you for years and so much of what I have learned on your podcast through your discussions with guests have found itself into my classroom. For example, from your previous podcast with Arthur, I took the "What's Your Idol?" game and shared it. It definitely helped some of my students be a little more aware of what may influence some of the decisions they make. Thanks for all that you do.
After 60 some years of thinking and reading about happiness I have finally realized that it’s far less complicated than all the theories would suggest. Happiness/peace/joy is part of our true nature and available to us at any time. The activities that we engage in are all fleeting and may give momentary feelings of this or that but they do not create lasting and durable happiness. Getting in touch with our true nature is often best done initially alone but then once established can also readily be done in the company of others.
I think this was discussed in concept linked to activities that have an easy pass to addiction behaviours that are damaging to human mind and body. You might heard that common as a "blanket" statement and as result it courses the reaction you had... Actually, the do say that there are exceptions and mentioning a silent walk in a nature along.
This is all advice for psychological balance. Nothing wrong with that, as that is essential. Happiness , however, comes from the consciousness of bliss, which a person finds by focusing within one's self, on the source of their existence, rooted in the breath, not in all the mechanisms this guy is describing. And that indeed does not involve other people. It requires dedication, and the reward doesn't come from struggle but from letting go to that bliss that is in the breath all the time.
@@jasongravely7217 I would say that psychological balance is essential to being able to focus on the bliss within, while immersion in the bliss is happiness.
We’re social beings even introverts rely on the tribe to survive. Very few people could be happy alone, that doesn’t mean everyone is a social butterfly because loneliness isn’t about having a lot of friends and socializing all the time there are people with many “friends” and a busy social calendar who feel lonely. It’s more about having love in your life, people you can truly trust with your emotions, fears, secrets etc… people who are committed to you and to whom you are committed. People you would help without hesitation and who would do the same for you. We are happier when we have others in our lives who we can love and who love us. Not acquaintances who we use for social clout not all alone trying to do everything “by ourselves” We all NEED people. For real. We literally live in a society and rely on one another every day. Being ultra independent isn’t a healthy mindset and is really based on a fear of abandonment or disappointment. Most people with the “I don’t need anyone attitude” aren’t happy at all they are scared of getting close to others and that’s sad. Again it’s not saying everyone needs to be comfortable in large social settings with strangers mingling but everyone needs people in their lives who they love and who love them.
I give A to Zoya! She is dealing with a lot of parental stress but remains reasonable in dealing with it. She almost seems to be getting bullied most of the time. This is coming from an Indian daughter whose parents had similar approach as the Gargs, became an adult in this country and is now in her 70s. Parents don't always know what's best for their children. Making mistakes and learning from them is not an awful outcome! Let your children be , parents don't own them and raising children is a responsibility given by nature ( once we decide to have them). Children don't owe us security and definitive outcomes.
I think "the anticipation of reward" is what people who obsessively clean houses/cars get....so for me when I feel frustrated or stressed out, i clean and tidy my house, or wash my car and I get that sense of satisfaction....which gives me a hit.
*Happiness is a project.* Get balance and abundance in - *Enjoyment* - *Satisfaction* - *Purpose* Pleasure (while being alone and not creating memories) will bring you addiction. Also: *WANT LESS❣️*
I don’t keep track how many people are praising this, but I AM SO HERE FOR THE CHAPTERS and their detailed descriptions! Incredibly helpful, also, for going back and re-listening to bits!
The idea that “pleasurable things are only ok if you do them with other people” is so invalidating to introverts!! Introverts would often RATHER do those things alone; it literally would not increase their happiness to have other people there.
It's more nuanced than he put it. U can absolutely have some joy n find fulfillment with solo activities and me time. I do but I do understand his overall sentiment. I think it's more about us just being social creatures in general n also being of service to people n that can come in all kinda forms
Whenever I listen to Arthur Brooks I feel like I should take notes but I know that I’ll end up writing the whole conversation down. I simply give up and listen.
Very informative and enlightening episode. Another problem with dating apps is that the abundance of choices diminishes the value of each person. In addition, it feeds the male biological drive to copulate and procreate as much as possible in order to pass on his genes. This is one of the reasons why it's a convenient means for short-term mating strategy as many users who aren't looking for commitment use dating apps. In fact, my male friends say they can't imagine having sex with one person for the rest of their lives. Last but not least, the novelty of meeting and interacting with a new person activates dopamine, which develops into an addiction.
35:50: No, the happiness situation is precisely the other way around! Without following the human - animal - path, without living the human lifestyle, a human will never be fulfilled!
He's the "Wizard of Oz" frantically slinging medical jargon around, name dropping Oprah, months at the beach... are we really thinking he can teach us about happiness? One must become a master before one can teach. Observe how fast he's dancing for you because he's intimidated by your authenticity.
Great podcast! I appreciate your effort in creating this. Finding satisfaction in both work and life has proven to be a bit challenging for me. Prayer and self-reflection have been valuable tools in managing my mental hurdles. I will definitely keep this podcast for future listening.
The energy that you share together is in itself....filled with joy and happiness. Thank you both for this delightful, insightful and truly inspirational podcast. You both make the world a better place, know this, always 😘😘
You may be surprised that it took you so long to discover your current profession and the increase of happiness you have found, but you must understand that some forms of service are required to balance certain karma. When the karma is balanced, you are free to move on.
interesting... they lost me after the requirement that something has to be social to bring happiness--I finding reading excellent books, painting, drawing, photographing, writing, gardening--all of those things are very very solitary for me at least, and bring me immense contentment and many, many happy memories. If that isn't the same thing as the journey of happiness, I don't know what is, honestly. Being true to yourself, staying in your integrity--those are the vehicles that propel us into a future of peace. When we are at peace, we find happiness.
Totally agree with you! Peace and divinity doesn’t have to be found in the company of other people! I’m surprised a brilliant man like him missed that!
I’m only a few minutes in but can already tell this is going to be one of the most life changing interviews I’ve ever seen watched on RUclips. Thank you!
One thing that we know is loniness is rampid right now, i dont know if he is right or wrong but i know im happier when i take the time to present with my family and friends.
Alcohol doesn’t magically become more healthy if you drink it with other people. I say this as an extreme introvert who occasionally loves drinking a few beers at home alone and relaxing. I know drinking is not healthy, but it wouldn’t be more healthy if I were forcing myself to socialize to “justify” it.
@19-minutes in this video Arthur talks about the 30-seconds delay before responding. It's similar to what I've heard caring mentors discuss with inner-city gang members when they are thinking of (or about to) shoot/kill someone, that is to imagine what your life will be like 30-seconds later when the heat of the moment begins to cool and 'life' comes back into focus, but now with an action that just changed the world for the worse for many people, especially yourself and your family. Strong stuff ...
Few podcasts feel as instantly impactful as this one. In 2.5 hours I've learnt more about myself and others - that I think I can carry for years - than years of therapy. Something magical happens when all of the different sciences come together.
Interesting interview, though I disagree that artists create their best work when depressed. Not true! I work with creatives and see that depression shuts them down. Instead, it's the feeling of the feelings, whatever they are (anger, sadness, grief, joy) that provokes creativity. (Why does Brooks demonize feeling? Gah!) And this is also why listening to music is so helpful for depressed people - it allows their feelings to flow. Artists are feelers, and they're at their best when they give themselves permission to feel - we NEED the feelers when so many are numb to this beautiful world. Artists are the ones who actually have the COURAGE to feel, to keep their hearts open in the face of a difficult world, they're the canaries in the mine, and they can transmute that pain in an alchemical way. (Gandhi said, “Nothing has saddened me so much in life as the hardness of heart of educated people.”) Artists should be revered and honored! Lastly, I take issue with people who don't claim to be artists (we all are) but then talk about how they know about the inner world of artists. (Case in point during this interview.) "Theater is just a place where someone goes and feels on behalf of everyone else. That's what the original purpose was. It's always like, this person is going to get up and they're going to grieve for us and they're going to tell us a love story so we can all touch into it." ~Adrienne Maree Brown
I'm sick of these bigots that say you can't be happy alone . Some people don't have the option . The only option is toxic people . Like masterbation is an addiction . A sickness . Something to feel guilty about .
I have been following this podcast, for a LONG time. This was one of the Best episodes yet! Thank you to both. Such a great Dialogue :) Rich.., you're a great interviewer. And yes! you DO prepare really well, for each and every episode. It helps being smart, hard working and holding a good degree of sophistication. ;)
Balance is the key but you have to have the environment to help you create that balance, otherwise you just have the theory without the practical path to become physically and mentally balanced, some meditation retreats have that environment where you have balanced meals and physical and mental exercises to balance the mind then after about a week you start to feel happy, calm, peaceful and balanced because your mind and body's system is more at ease and you've put it into practice instead of compulsively thinking and analyzing the state of your wellbeing anymore.
0:00: 😊 Happiness is not a destination, but a direction.
11:11: 🧠 Dopamine is a neuromodulator that gives us motivation to do things and is responsible for the anticipation of reward.
22:26: 🤔 The first step to developing self-awareness is to recognize and understand your default behaviors and their consequences, and then create a blueprint of alternative responses for different scenarios.
45:17: 😊 The process of engendering more happiness in life doesn't involve denying unhappiness, but rather experiencing the full range of emotions and processing them in a healthy way.
33:54: ! The danger of dedicating oneself entirely to superior performance at the expense of happiness.
1:19:11: 👨👧👦 The speaker's children embrace his ideas implicitly, even though they may roll their eyes at times.
56:01: 😅 The speaker discusses the characteristics of a population of people who have strong opinions about everything and are difficult to be around.
1:52:27: 🙏 The speaker discusses the importance of faith as one of the pillars of a fulfilling life.
1:07:03: 😊 Smiling is a purely physiological response involving specific muscles, and having crow's feet can indicate a happy life.
1:29:39: 🔑 Decades of patterning can override mindful responses in challenging situations with family members.
1:40:55: 🌟 Creating more happiness teachers throughout society is important for promoting healthier choices and well-being.
2:03:24: ! People tend to choose partners who are similar to them, even though they may not be attracted to them.
2:14:12: ✨ The speaker loves saying yes to opportunities and going on adventures to spread happiness.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thank you so much
Wow yes thank you indeed you have made me very happy to have written and explained all this made it much easier for me to understand i seriously appreciate it again thank you very much for your kindness 😊
Great summaries time stamps. Saved me from watching it all. 😊👍
My #1 podcaster with my #1 guest! Let’s go!
😊
“Anything that brings you pleasure that you do alone, look out. It’s not going to bring you happiness” OMG! Are you serious?!!!! You’ve literally made this all up. You don’t ALWAYS need other people to experience happiness and pleasure. Moving on…..
😂
He did mention that there are some exceptions such as spending time in nature.
Taken out of context...😵💫
He said anything an individual can abuse while alone - doom scrolling, alcohol, food, etc.
He meant those acts that are experienced in the limbic system. Not conscientious actions or creative actions which are experienced in the prefrontal cortex. Maybe he could have been clearer but I think from the context it was pretty obvious that he was talking about actions like drinking alcohol and not journaling or painting.
Rich Roll's interviewing skills are amazing. He always draws out the salient idea, cuts through the blah blah blah.
Rich will be impressed with your word salient. We all know Rich is a walking dictionary.
maybe i should have come up with a better term for 'blah blah blah' then@@TechOutAdam
Great way to put it
@@TechOutAdam glad to know that I’m not the only one who is impressed/notices Rich’s vocabulary😂
He talks too much, no need to repeat what the guest said. I don't like this interviewer
Everything spoken on this podcast is speaking to me. I am learning so much at this point of my life and I am grateful for that. I see things differently now. I desire to give happiness freely to others.
I had a hard time going through my work day while I listened because I needed to stop and write notes over and over. This one is just priceless! Thx Rich!
This should be a required listen for sad people, happy people, and everyone in between! I'm very, very familiar with Rich's incredible ability to conversationally navigate any topic but Arthur as a guest was a great blend of technical knowledge, humor, and real-world application. I don't give many 2+ hour podcasts a second listen but this one will be played multiple times. A big thank you to both gentlemen and the teams behind the scenes that got this out to the world.
Amazing. My husband and I are always saying how much more stimulating it is to socialize and travel. Makes sense now
Rich, Arthur, RR Team, proof that you're doing a good thing in the world... This episode hit me exactly where I needed it to hit, and precisely when I needed it. Thank you all.
Wow! Amazing!
My story: I have Multiple Sclerosis. I have problems with walking. However, rehab I’m doing is slowly improving my abilities.
However, it marks my life turning point. I applied for a green card in US. I will be working remotely and live in a van (I’m 46, specialist able to earn good money living in Europe). Now I think my health problems were blessing. I became more disciplined and I know what I want. I started saving money, spend much less. I feel like I’m becoming a new person.
Absolutely uplifting to listen to Rich Rolls and Arthur Brooks
Love these very observant explanations to understanding the path of Happiness
Such wisdom and open heartedness thank u both for your amazing words
Blessings and live 🙏🧘❤️keep shinning ur light ⭐️⭐️⭐️
🙏🏼Thank you for making this rich lecture video 🙏🏼 extremely deep and rich ❤
TRYING to be happy will never make you happy. It’s an oxymoron. Just appreciate the moment you’re living, moment by moment and BE happy. Grateful to be alive. 🙏🏽
"The problem is not that we have unconstructive emotions, but it's that they are mismanaged." - What a gem by Arthur. One of my favorites. Thanks for the incredibly informing discussion.
This has been incredibly helpful to my psychology. Thank you
This happiness is primarily with other people thing is not exactly the simple truth. Let me explain: The last estimate I heard is that extroverts to introverts ratio in the world is 3 to 1. I think this professor needs to address the extroverts because that is by definition the mainstream and the majority so thus interacting with other people as maybe the primary source of happiness perhaps is valid for the majority of people and as an introvert talking to others around me I acknowledge that fully. However this does to some extent invalidate the idea that something like meditation which is inherently a solitary pursuit, because you can only "go inside" of yourself (of course you can physically meditate in a group). But clearly there is almost an infinite amount of evidence that shows that meditation directly increases peace and happiness for the individual immensely especially when practiced consistently. If you agree that happiness comes from within, then the need to interact with other people is by definition external - however biologically we are still social creatures even introverts just to a much lesser extent. There are very few introverts that want zero contact with other people and care zero for other people. Please remember, with regards to introversion or extroversion what consistently gives you energy and enjoyment over a long period of time, whether that's mostly being alone or mostly being with others is essentially the definition of who you are: either an introvert or extrovert. If you are an introvert I would highly highly recommend at least experimenting over several months being extroverted going to parties being social etc and then if you find that that is mostly draining for you then you truly know that solitude is more your jam and that is completely blissful and will bring you deep and profound peace and happiness (relative to going against your own internal grain and trying to be extroverted). Experimentation over several months of being social is key here, then you will actually deep down know.❤
Not to be annoying because I know he said there are exceptions, but I really enjoy being alone at home spending a day reading, cozy hobbies and intellectual pursuits. But these are all alone?
I am also totally miserable with other people. I have like maybe 3 hour of socializing in me and then I need to go off and be alone for a couple of days. Most of what they have to say on this show is recovery/junk science propaganda.
I am the same as YOU. Thanks for sharing 🤗
I live alone and have for decades, enjoying two glasses of red wine with my dinner every evening.
judging by your language i assume you share a similar mindset to me, which is deep down you would like to tolerate more social situations but actually find it mentally or emotioanlly challenging to.
when i was in therapy i thought i didnt want to be around people. turns out deep down i do and i fantasise about being more social but i struggle to manage
i say this cos you use words like "need" and "totally" which are both indications you feel helpless. @@AlwaysUp-uf9dl
😊😊
Wow - every man is the whole world- makes diving into service so approachable. Thank you 🙏. This is no about scale, this is about people.
As a Yoga Therapist working within a Bio-enviro-psycho-socio-philosophical model of care I appreciate the mention of practicing meditation (listening to God & or the Universe & Everything) and prayer (talking to God & or The Universe & Everything) when for spirituality can be known as a philosophically and or theologically happy blissful spirit sustained by prayer and optimized by meditation (dhyana)🧘♀️
I could listen to this ten more times❤❤❤
Great podcast. Paradox of choice was very insightful.
Love this episode. The idea that our happiness is what we have divided by what we want has been hugely helpful for me. When I find myself on the hedonic treadmill, I try to practice gratitude and remind myself that I have enough. Intentionally trying to reduce my desires by being grateful for what I have has made me happier.
Wow what a great in depth interview, I came to this after Chris evans read it out in his radio show in England. It made me cry as I puppet to all the 10on the list. Having spent 35years being housebound and bedbound through chronic illness, has given me insight into how social isolation kills!! In may I was able to emerge back into society through walking and my world has exploded… giving me such an appreciation of everything mentioned. I cry when people say just say “morning” as to be starved of daily human interaction affects you so deeply. Thank you for a great podcast as always Rich. A listener because of Chris evans. Hope to maybe met you next year if you do carfest again! X
Something about the smaller table made this feel and sound so much more intimate and in depth. Love it!
great observation. so true :)
I recognized the smaller table straight away also and liked it. Of course, great interview and topic.
I think he turned it. I like it much better. More intimate.
First thing I noticed too. Allows for different more intimite camera angles. Like it (and the rest of the discussion of course).
This is great.
Thanks for making this for all of us to enjoy and learn from for free. 🙏💪♥️
Ultimate Happiness comes by wanting or needing nothing anymore and that is only possible by being fully awake present in the moment as long we are pushed in a illusionary past or future our happiness will always be fake happiness like pleasure, addiction etc these are just products created by mind and memory for true happiness we need to go beyond these creations by becoming more conscious being able to be in control of creation instead of controled by creation. True happiness is more about peace and freedom more than satisfaction or reward.
The idea that you can’t find happiness and enjoyment alone is ludicrous. Some of the happiest most enjoyable memories I have involve going to the movies by myself. One size doesn’t fit all and I wish this “self help experts” would finally understand that.
That’s temporary happiness. I think they were referring to long term well being, in which it’s impossible to be happy alone if you are an average person. We were born to socialize, a lack of it breeds severe mental illness.
@@Nisowyd that’s my point though not everyone is like that. “Normal” doesn’t exist. Ever heard of social anxiety? I have no desire for continuous social interaction or living with anyone. It doesn’t benefit me.
@@Nisowyd oh and my issues with mental illness started when my social interactions significantly increased.
He also mentioned if these activities done alone are potentially addictive in a harmful way
Taken out of context...geez 😵💫
It's all about being awake and consciousness much more then reactive. Reactivity is all about survival. Survival is a product of not feeling whole lack and the reason for that is the inability to stay present in the moment. We are conditioned that we have to be someone to become happy. This is the ego. The stronger our ego. The more difficult it is to experience oneness and true happiness without stress. Stress always comes from separation. The idea that there is something we need to protect or feed. Life is always fully abundant here in the now. Only when we project something in the past or future we are placing our self in a position of lack .Only when we are able to be in the moment and enjoy that fullness we are able to trust to let go as opposite to be or become someone or something or to control something. Letting life unfold like it is without wanting in my opinion is absolutely the greatest happiness.
Generosity, kindness and selflessness is key to a happy life.
So much insightful knowledge to ponder and to make a plan to playfully practice. “Happiness is a Direction”. Golden nugget. Thank you Mr Brooks and Mr Roll🙏🏾
I truly enjoyed this chat/intv. It felt familiar when talking about addictions and feeling sort of lost and without an identity when trying to calm down and be in touch with emotions, which at some point for long for a long time believe it was impossible to erase from my memory who I have always believe to know, energy flowing through my pores 24/7, I was wrong.
I’d watch this video over and over again ..
after hearing this guy on other podcasts and listening to his lifestyle habits; i am glad that i have other choices. good luck guy and i hope you continue "your jourey" for peace in your life
Grateful a good friend shared this with me.
How is it that this guy is considered an expert? Sure, I find happiness in the company of others but I also find great happiness in a solitary yoga practice, sitting on my patio enjoying my morning latte while watching the sunrise over the mountains, going for a sunset run on the beach with my dog, reading a good book, creating art, crocheting blankets to donate to seniors in need, concocting a new recipe, immersing myself in music, taking a leisurely walk in my neighborhood park watching the cute squirrels scampering about while I listen to a Rich Roll podcast! I could go on and on. He says “anything that’s pleasurable that you do alone is not going to bring you happiness”. Rich doesn’t even challenge this. And he says yeah, there might be an exception here and there, but he really discounted that when it shouldn’t be discounted at all because there are countless solitary activities that greatly contribute to happiness and a satisfying life. Maybe this is just semantics here and he’d say the things I describe are pleasure and not happiness. That’s silly. I pursue all kinds of things, by myself, that contribute greatly to my happiness so I don’t agree with what he’s saying. He also states you can’t get joy without struggle. That’s an absurd statement. For someone Rick finds worthy of his platform, this guest lacks insight. I wonder how happy he is?
Completely agree. There has to be a first time I walk out of this podcast after 10 mins and this is the time.
It's also easy to say "just have less" when you had more.
The subject engaged here is much more complicated than what is offered here, which still makes the solutions proposed valuable for a certain kind of people.
I also had an issue with some of what he was saying but I would give the whole podcast a listen as there is some really good insights in here amongst the other parts.
I agree and I stopped at 7 mins to check out the comments in this respect. I don't understand why he says that other people are needed to create enjoyment. I get lots of enjoyment from similar things to you by myself. I find that when others are around, it can detract from the enjoyment sometimes. People usually want to talk and more often than not, people talk about the issues they are going through. This means that your attention is on them rather than the activity you love. This isn't always the case of course, some activities can be done with others and can be enjoyable. He also says that things like drinking alone can be damaging but from I've experienced, so is drinking with friends. Just because there are people sharing the experience with you, it doesn't make it OK if you are bingeing or an alcoholic. Many people drink irresponsibly with friends.
Brooks was more nuanced than what you say. He is fine with meditation, solitary walks, etc. What he said you shouldn’t do alone is activities that can be addictive (drinking beer alone rather than with friends). We tend to be too quickly critical these days.
@@myroslavabasladynsky4937 Yes, I went back - right when this confused be, to check if I had missed something - and yes, I had missed the "activities that can be addictive part" the first moment. This not listening closely can be quite misleading.
You Can't Choose Your Emotions, But You Can Choose What to Do With Them
Happiness is only real when shared..
Hey Rich, you mentioned around the 1:42:16 about this happiness material being in like every high school. I have been listening to you for years and so much of what I have learned on your podcast through your discussions with guests have found itself into my classroom. For example, from your previous podcast with Arthur, I took the "What's Your Idol?" game and shared it. It definitely helped some of my students be a little more aware of what may influence some of the decisions they make. Thanks for all that you do.
After 60 some years of thinking and reading about happiness I have finally realized that it’s far less complicated than all the theories would suggest. Happiness/peace/joy is part of our true nature and available to us at any time. The activities that we engage in are all fleeting and may give momentary feelings of this or that but they do not create lasting and durable happiness. Getting in touch with our true nature is often best done initially alone but then once established can also readily be done in the company of others.
Anything you do alone and you enjoy doesn't bring happiness? Are you shittttiiiinnggg me?
I think this was discussed in concept linked to activities that have an easy pass to addiction behaviours that are damaging to human mind and body. You might heard that common as a "blanket" statement and as result it courses the reaction you had... Actually, the do say that there are exceptions and mentioning a silent walk in a nature along.
Happiness is an active choice daily rather than a goal . Meaning in life makes connections between activities and feelings .
Thank you for listening.
This is all advice for psychological balance. Nothing wrong with that, as that is essential. Happiness , however, comes from the consciousness of bliss, which a person finds by focusing within one's self, on the source of their existence, rooted in the breath, not in all the mechanisms this guy is describing. And that indeed does not involve other people. It requires dedication, and the reward doesn't come from struggle but from letting go to that bliss that is in the breath all the time.
I was thinking of this too when he said it MUST be with others. I'm like that can't be fully true. But I appreciate the breakdown tho
Can it be both/and instead of either/or?
@@jasongravely7217 I would say that psychological balance is essential to being able to focus on the bliss within, while immersion in the bliss is happiness.
There is NO ONE PATH. Experiment and enjoy!
@@BrianTCarter Actually there is only one, direct at the source.
That interview interaction is Up there with the best … thank you to two greats…👏🙏
Can’t be happy alone? Other people don’t make me happy, I make me happy.
We’re social beings even introverts rely on the tribe to survive. Very few people could be happy alone, that doesn’t mean everyone is a social butterfly because loneliness isn’t about having a lot of friends and socializing all the time there are people with many “friends” and a busy social calendar who feel lonely. It’s more about having love in your life, people you can truly trust with your emotions, fears, secrets etc… people who are committed to you and to whom you are committed. People you would help without hesitation and who would do the same for you.
We are happier when we have others in our lives who we can love and who love us. Not acquaintances who we use for social clout not all alone trying to do everything “by ourselves”
We all NEED people. For real. We literally live in a society and rely on one another every day. Being ultra independent isn’t a healthy mindset and is really based on a fear of abandonment or disappointment. Most people with the “I don’t need anyone attitude” aren’t happy at all they are scared of getting close to others and that’s sad. Again it’s not saying everyone needs to be comfortable in large social settings with strangers mingling but everyone needs people in their lives who they love and who love them.
Who is he to say what makes someone happy
I really really really enjoyed this episode. Thank you Thank you Thank you... thus kind of content feeds my soul.
I give A to Zoya! She is dealing with a lot of parental stress but remains reasonable in dealing with it. She almost seems to be getting bullied most of the time. This is coming from an Indian daughter whose parents had similar approach as the Gargs, became an adult in this country and is now in her 70s. Parents don't always know what's best for their children. Making mistakes and learning from them is not an awful outcome! Let your children be , parents don't own them and raising children is a responsibility given by nature ( once we decide to have them). Children don't owe us security and definitive outcomes.
I think "the anticipation of reward" is what people who obsessively clean houses/cars get....so for me when I feel frustrated or stressed out, i clean and tidy my house, or wash my car and I get that sense of satisfaction....which gives me a hit.
True here too! When I'm not sure what to do, I clean. If I lose something I clean or organize. Works well!
*Happiness is a project.*
Get balance and abundance in
- *Enjoyment*
- *Satisfaction*
- *Purpose*
Pleasure (while being alone and not creating memories) will bring you addiction.
Also: *WANT LESS❣️*
Such a wonderful video!
I don’t keep track how many people are praising this, but I AM SO HERE FOR THE CHAPTERS and their detailed descriptions! Incredibly helpful, also, for going back and re-listening to bits!
Faith. Family. Friends. Work that serves
My radar went up on the O reference. She is all about herself and money.
Just loved this show. Thank you so much
Hollup! you say you need people..? but I am truly happy and ok with being alone
The idea that “pleasurable things are only ok if you do them with other people” is so invalidating to introverts!! Introverts would often RATHER do those things alone; it literally would not increase their happiness to have other people there.
Introvert =/ asocial. You can be an introvert and love social interaction, most humans enjoy having a good time with friends and family.
It's more nuanced than he put it. U can absolutely have some joy n find fulfillment with solo activities and me time. I do but I do understand his overall sentiment. I think it's more about us just being social creatures in general n also being of service to people n that can come in all kinda forms
He never really invalidated solo joy.
Thank you 😊 💓
Whenever I listen to Arthur Brooks I feel like I should take notes but I know that I’ll end up writing the whole conversation down.
I simply give up and listen.
I love this guy!
Very informative and enlightening episode. Another problem with dating apps is that the abundance of choices diminishes the value of each person. In addition, it feeds the male biological drive to copulate and procreate as much as possible in order to pass on his genes. This is one of the reasons why it's a convenient means for short-term mating strategy as many users who aren't looking for commitment use dating apps. In fact, my male friends say they can't imagine having sex with one person for the rest of their lives. Last but not least, the novelty of meeting and interacting with a new person activates dopamine, which develops into an addiction.
35:50: No, the happiness situation is precisely the other way around! Without following the human - animal - path, without living the human lifestyle, a human will never be fulfilled!
Perfect podcast to watch when feeling melancholic. Thanks a million!
When did this Bucket list come in. I am in my 80ties and never had one. would not want to carry one around.
He's the "Wizard of Oz" frantically slinging medical jargon around, name dropping Oprah, months at the beach... are we really thinking he can teach us about happiness?
One must become a master before one can teach.
Observe how fast he's dancing for you because he's intimidated by your authenticity.
Great podcast! I appreciate your effort in creating this. Finding satisfaction in both work and life has proven to be a bit challenging for me. Prayer and self-reflection have been valuable tools in managing my mental hurdles. I will definitely keep this podcast for future listening.
The energy that you share together is in itself....filled with joy and happiness. Thank you both for this delightful, insightful and truly inspirational podcast. You both make the world a better place, know this, always 😘😘
You may be surprised that it took you so long to discover your current profession and the increase of happiness you have found, but you must understand that some forms of service are required to balance certain karma. When the karma is balanced, you are free to move on.
interesting... they lost me after the requirement that something has to be social to bring happiness--I finding reading excellent books, painting, drawing, photographing, writing, gardening--all of those things are very very solitary for me at least, and bring me immense contentment and many, many happy memories. If that isn't the same thing as the journey of happiness, I don't know what is, honestly. Being true to yourself, staying in your integrity--those are the vehicles that propel us into a future of peace. When we are at peace, we find happiness.
Totally agree with you! Peace and divinity doesn’t have to be found in the company of other people! I’m surprised a brilliant man like him missed that!
I’m only a few minutes in but can already tell this is going to be one of the most life changing interviews I’ve ever seen watched on RUclips. Thank you!
So great. 42 minutes in while I'm laying on the floor relaxing ❤
One thing that we know is loniness is rampid right now, i dont know if he is right or wrong but i know im happier when i take the time to present with my family and friends.
“The pursuit of pleasure will bring you addiction.”
Another legendary episode. ❤
Alcohol doesn’t magically become more healthy if you drink it with other people. I say this as an extreme introvert who occasionally loves drinking a few beers at home alone and relaxing. I know drinking is not healthy, but it wouldn’t be more healthy if I were forcing myself to socialize to “justify” it.
Ugh...he didn't say having a few beers... he's talking about pounding twelve paks alone...
Phenomenal episode! Thank you!
@19-minutes in this video Arthur talks about the 30-seconds delay before responding. It's similar to what I've heard caring mentors discuss with inner-city gang members when they are thinking of (or about to) shoot/kill someone, that is to imagine what your life will be like 30-seconds later when the heat of the moment begins to cool and 'life' comes back into focus, but now with an action that just changed the world for the worse for many people, especially yourself and your family. Strong stuff ...
Enjoyed this interview very much. Purchased Arthur's audio book and look forward to that as well.
Timestamp: 01:09:33 Poets and comedians represent.
If we could all delude ourselves like Brooks with this gobiligoogaga 😢
Amazing, thank you 🙌🙌💓💓💓💓
Satisfaction. Otis Redding.
You guys knocked it out of the park with this one. So inspiring, energizing, fun, and funny 🙏🏼
what about couples who can't afford to do what they always wanted to do. How do you rekindle the relationship after the kids leave.
If you're not already, start with going for a daily walk in nature .
Great, thank you!
Few podcasts feel as instantly impactful as this one. In 2.5 hours I've learnt more about myself and others - that I think I can carry for years - than years of therapy. Something magical happens when all of the different sciences come together.
Any chance you can pin a link to the book. I cant seem to find it on my Kindle?
Interesting interview, though I disagree that artists create their best work when depressed. Not true! I work with creatives and see that depression shuts them down. Instead, it's the feeling of the feelings, whatever they are (anger, sadness, grief, joy) that provokes creativity. (Why does Brooks demonize feeling? Gah!) And this is also why listening to music is so helpful for depressed people - it allows their feelings to flow. Artists are feelers, and they're at their best when they give themselves permission to feel - we NEED the feelers when so many are numb to this beautiful world. Artists are the ones who actually have the COURAGE to feel, to keep their hearts open in the face of a difficult world, they're the canaries in the mine, and they can transmute that pain in an alchemical way. (Gandhi said, “Nothing has saddened me so much in life as the hardness of heart of educated people.”) Artists should be revered and honored! Lastly, I take issue with people who don't claim to be artists (we all are) but then talk about how they know about the inner world of artists. (Case in point during this interview.) "Theater is just a place where someone goes and feels on behalf of everyone else. That's what the original purpose was. It's always like, this person is going to get up and they're going to grieve for us and they're going to tell us a love story so we can all touch into it." ~Adrienne Maree Brown
I'm sick of these bigots that say you can't be happy alone . Some people don't have the option . The only option is toxic people . Like masterbation is an addiction . A sickness . Something to feel guilty about .
What a conversation ... Thanks to both of you
Are black Tshirts the uniform for all wellness podcasters? You too Stephen Bartlett
😆
I look at life from the one source we all come from. This way we can not becime lost in our iwn play of life just by conscious creation
Thank God happiness can't be put in a pill. We'd never fix our junk.
26:38 not to be that guy, but maybe someone will be confused also and wants an answer to that, DEFCON one is the most severe level
1:01:33 1:01:34 😅🥹🤮
This is the only channel from which I'd watch a 2,5 hour video.
I have been following this podcast, for a LONG time.
This was one of the Best episodes yet!
Thank you to both.
Such a great Dialogue :)
Rich.., you're a great interviewer. And yes! you DO prepare really well, for each and every episode.
It helps being smart, hard working and holding a good degree of sophistication.
;)
Balance is the key but you have to have the environment to help you create that balance, otherwise you just have the theory without the practical path to become physically and mentally balanced, some meditation retreats have that environment where you have balanced meals and physical and mental exercises to balance the mind then after about a week you start to feel happy, calm, peaceful and balanced because your mind and body's system is more at ease and you've put it into practice instead of compulsively thinking and analyzing the state of your wellbeing anymore.
Happiness is transient, like all thoughts & emotions, aim for contentment..
Ok. This guy is great. Cool stuff. But once Oprah was brought up. I’m out. I.e dr Phil and dr oz. Keep it.
The reverse bucket list..? I think he means the fuck-it list
Muy bueno este libro ❤
Incredible info definitely getting the book