"I Wasn’t Sure If We Would Ever Be Friends Again" (Matt & Thomas Open Up)
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2024
- Newsletter: www.mattdahlia.substack.com
Preorder the book: www.seekdiscomfort.com/book
Preorder the book in EU: tinyurl.com/35c4npdy
Hey everyone,
Thomas and I have worked through a lot behind the scenes, especially in the past six months.
It’s been really challenging, and at times our relationship was in serious jeopardy.
Thankfully, we’ve gotten through it.
In this podcast, we dive into all of it. Not just our relationship, but also how we see the world, advice for someone in their 20’s or 30’s, and reflections on our Yes Theory experience.
I’m very grateful this is real life. That my best friend and I get to do this.
Relationships take work, especially through big changes, and this one has been no different.
I hope you’ll get something out of this for your own life and for your ties with those closest to you.
Thank you for the support.
Sending you all love,
Matt
Timecodes:
0:00 Intro
1:25 Podcast begins, addressing the nerves
6:07 Thomas turning 30 & setting goals
17:14 Power of intention
27:35 Thomas’ first heartbreak & motivation it gave him
37:45 Change yourself = Change the world
41:40 Fear of things falling apart
47:58 The struggles of our relationship the past three years
50:30 Matt explains his gradual decision to leave
56:40 Filming our first video after 3 years
1:02:55 Thomas and Ammar’s perspective on Matt leaving
1:07:28 Reconnecting & evolving in our relationship
1:20:30 Dealing with fame
1:29:30 What Matt saw in Thomas from the beginning
1:31:19 Thomas’ reflections on the book
Thanks for this convo Matt and thanks for listening everyone ❤
❤
💙💙💙
I appreciate y’all doing this series!
😮😊😊 40:05 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😮😮😊😊😅😊
Love you both!!! 🤗
You two are exactly the type of guys who should be hosting podcasts in todays day! As a 23 year old guy, I really really hope that more young men can find positive role models such as yourselves, who are comfortable talking to each other about your lives, your relationships, your feelings, etc.
Pre-ordered the book and cannot wait to hear more of these pods :)
As a 38 year old man, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is allowing the younger generation to inspire me to do better myself. I allow myself to acknowledge that I can learn from those younger than me as much as those that are older. Yes Theory is one of a few channels that helped change my life over the last 5 years. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it!
what colour is your buggati?
There's a lot to take away from this, but one thing that stood out to me is they're both fantastic listeners. That level of true support is so enviable.
I guess I was confused. I thought Matt had stepped back to write his book and to be more behind the scenes instead. But I had not understood that he was totally leaving Yes Theory. Or that he and Thomas had not spoken for some time. Thomas and the Yes Theory team should know that you have created the very best content and channel on RUclips -- and you have created an incredible movement. Your impact for people around the globe has been so incredibly impactful and will last a lifetime. So sorry to hear that Thomas has had so much pain and stress. This is a lot of work on all of your shoulders. But you and your team represent greatness! Your content uplifts people like no other content channel can. Thank you Thomas and Ammar and Matt. I know you will miss Matt -- but you and Ammar have been blessed by some new members of your team to continue your inspiring work.
One of the biggest mistakes that I made in my 20’s was to think that ‘tomorrow will be better’. The reality is that there is no guarantee that it will be. Now I deal with my uncomfortable crap as quickly as possible and get it behind me so that the odds are much better that I will be having good days ahead.
I understand what Matt feels. It's hard not to have a purpose. Like having too much freedom and space is just a perfect recipe for anxiety.
my entire lifeeee
I think the Seek Discomfort videos should dive more into the mental health side of things with Matt heading that part up. He analyses and breaks things down, I love it
Been waiting for this since the day Matt announced about his going away party podcast 😍⚡️🤍
So much respect for Thomas bringing this level of compassion and empathy to the friendship
Hearing Thomas talk about one of his biggest priorities being starting a family was actually so refreshing. I’m 29 and the dating scene is so focused on short term relationships and not many people seem intent on settling down (at least in the Netherlands it is). But I have the same desire, so I hope we will both find someone in our 30s ❤️
Also, as a teacher I LOVED hearing you talk about education. If ever you need anything, I’d be so down to help! I proudly use your videos in my classes in the hopes I can inspire my students, so I’d love to do something to pay it forward
heartbreaking to hear thomas admit that their friendship basically ended until a few months ago. but happy that they are able to rebuild their relationship in a way that makes more sense for them at this stage in their lives ❤
I’m loving this podcast. Matt is like a missing piece of the YES puzzle. I’m an introverted dude with anxiety but also have an adventurous side so I can relate to you. Just take your time and just don’t over do it. I’m trying to learn that in my own life.
Love these open conversations. Great one 🔥
Thanks Mike 🙏
Power of Intention: I am very open to dating either Matt or Thomas 😂
Girl sameeee but more Thomas for me.
Am a Matty girl Thomas is so extroverted for me i wouldn't keep UP haha
Yall are like those dating cults. Chill out man 😂
This is the type of conversations that strikes a chord at a soul level. Genuine human connection. I'm glad there are role models like you out there who are willing to speak so openly about mental health and learning to process emotions and events. Thank you for this great conversation and for opening up so authentically about what you both lived through.
I wish every potentially healthy or broken friendship and maybe specifically male friedship to reach out this point when you can seat together without any judgments and just share perspectives, emotions, assumptions, be vulnerable and process. It is all about communication!
I'm 25 and still live in my hometown. I want to travel but I'm terrified. I want to move out of my parents' house but I'm terrified. I've had so many times where, without my family, I would be homeless. If I leave, only I can save me. I hate myself to have wasted so much time..
i think a a lot of people don't understand the amount of stress and time it takes to make a yes theory video happen, it's a lot of planning a lot of footage combined and TONS of editing, and mixing.. i feel like a lot of people would think this is only go pro footage but its not, you have to mix the audio the video and all the cuts after recording for days with different batteries, it is truly a miracle that this small group of people met up to create the biggest solution to the continuous problem of our society that we live in... We are the people and more than ever... we need to bring the people back together...
You are all men of excellence. Matt, there are many famous people who will never have the depth or the character that you have. That makes you not “just a dude”. Who you are and what you carry is priceless. Hold your head up high and be proud. I admire you.
Even though this wasn’t a super fun adventure type video, I think the journey you’ve gone on Matt is one of the most brilliant displays of seeking discomfort I’ve seen from Yes Theory yet. Same to you Thomas with how you have pursued relationship and worked through the hard things with love.
Thank you for sharing this all!
I feel so understood… when Matt talks about the anxiety and experience he went through
Both of you have always been so articulate in the way you speak and convey emotions. You just have this tone and mannerism that I can listen to all day. If there was a regular podcast I would definitely tune in.
Watching the part where they talk about being recognized. I’ll never forget driving back from the beach in Hawaii and seeing Ammar and Thomas walking in Ala Moana and freaking out wishing I could’ve just stopped the car and said hi.
I felt for Matt after his break up because of how he had to open up to peruse that relationship only for it to end
You guys obviously love each other. I can't imagine either of you not being in each other's lives.
It's really nice to see your friendship isn't perfect (like often portrayed in older videos) and inspiring to see your journey of seeking discomfort, talking it out and facing the issues head on rather than continuing to avoid/run from them worked out as I'm dealing with a similar struggle and it becoming harder and harder to reach back out the longer time goes without speaking.
THE BOOK LAUNCHES ON MY BIRTHDAY OH HELL YES
As a person with chronic anxiety life became easier when the world slowed down. I think its okay to be grateful for that sudden change of pace, while also being sad for the cause of it.
I feel this so much. I was also never really able to admit it out loud, because COVID meant a lot of horrible things for a lot of people. The impact that it had on everyone was severe, so I still don't understand why, but the pandemic really saved my life. That was the only way that I was able to escape from the horrible life that I had, slow down and start working on myself to change it.
hearing two people who have this amount of love and care for one another is truly so wonderful to see. the way you both communicate your feelings is very admiring. it makes me want to open up more and stop being so hard on myself. there are so many people struggling with mental health and it's comforting knowing you aren't alone in it all and we all have similar worries and fears. it was nice to see you two again and i hope the best for you guys.
In the conversation between Matt and Thomas, they reflect on a period when their friendship was strained and they weren't as close. The reasons for this period of distance can be summarized as follows:
Personal Challenges and Growth: Both Matt and Thomas were going through their own personal journeys of self-discovery and growth. Matt, in particular, talks about dealing with anxiety, mental health issues, and the need for a break from the constant pressures of content creation and public life. His decision to step back and focus on his health and well-being was a major factor in the distance that grew between them.
Professional Pressures: The demands and pressures of running a successful RUclips channel and business, such as Yes Theory, also played a role. The constant need to produce content, manage a growing brand, and live up to public expectations put a strain on their relationship.
Change in Dynamics: Their professional relationship, being part of a popular RUclips channel, inevitably impacted their personal friendship. The dynamics of working closely together, dealing with fame, and navigating the challenges of content creation led to tensions and a need for personal space.
Communication and Misunderstandings: There were instances of miscommunication and misunderstandings between them, compounded by the fact that they were dealing with their individual struggles and changes in their professional lives.
Need for Personal Space: Both of them recognized a need for personal space to deal with their respective issues. This period of distance allowed them to focus on themselves, reflect on their priorities, and address their personal challenges.
Throughout their conversation, it's evident that despite these challenges, they maintained a deep respect and care for each other. Their discussion highlights the complexities of maintaining a friendship in the face of personal and professional growth, especially when in the public eye. The conversation ends on a positive note, with both expressing a renewed understanding and appreciation for their friendship and the journey they have shared.
😂😂😂 wow!!
Or should it be WAW!!
I used to think that talking about your feelings was too indulgent. Then I went in to recovery and half way through, a young man came in. He was acting all gangster and I saw a lot of myself in his attitude. I sat down with him, and very assertively said 'look: let's take off these masks and actually be vulnerable'. A month later, he told me that that conversation changed his life. I told him it changed mine, too'. He left our retreat program and had the courage to tell his family about his daughter (they didn't know he had a child). Unfortunately, they weren't ready to be vulnerable, themselves. They didn't take it well. He ran out, and his body was found the next day in the woods. When I see men like Matt and Thomas be able to open up, it reminds me of my dear friend. And I hope that we can all be open and vulnerable with each other. Some people are more sensitive than others, but even if you aren't really sensitive, please try to be sensitive to those around you. Matt, you are amazing, and I'm so glad you are going through your own recovery.
I can't tell you guys how much it means to me to hear you both open up about your struggles, hardships, and lessons you've learned. I've found myself in the same headspace alot recently, and listening to how you're both working through it.... it helps more than I can put into words.
It’s genuinely makes me happy to how raw they come and put themselves vulnerable to everyone. Thanks for this podcast
So awesome being able to have these types of chats. That's real friendship.
I’m so touched watching this. I’ve followed YesTheory for a few years now and you, Thomas and Ammar have highlighted the true definition of friendship and love. You both have so much kindness and compassion toward each other, really such a beautiful thing to see. I’m so excited for your book and to hopefully see more of you in the future!
You guys are an inspiration to so many. It is great to see you being vulnerable and sharing this conversation with us, thank you!
Can’t wait to purchase the book❤ you’re both amazing ! Ammar included 👏🏽🙏🏽 keep being you , the world needs more of you !
We love you, Matt!! Stoked for the book & so happy to always have you as part of the YES fam & OG. Much love to your next endeavors & happy to still be here
HOW DOES THIS ONLY HAVE 34k VIEWS?!?!? i’ve been waiting for this for years 🥳🥳🥳🥳
Pre-ordered the book can’t wait to read it! Absolutely agree you need to go out and try things in your 20’s or you truly will never know. That’s something I’ve been trying to incorporate more and more in my work and in general life.
Love this. I was sad to hear Matt was leaving. I'm sad this is also his farewell tour. However, I'm so happy that he's in a good place where he recognizes where he's at and has the support from his bros. As we grow, we are constantly rediscovering ourselves and this is just what that is - hardships lead to growth. And I'm glad we will see him in some adventures!
Yes Theory has wholeheartedly been my biggest inspiration and watching this podcast made me feel so warm inside knowing this genuine relationship is still in tact. From watching every shingle episode some multiple times I cant express how much this group has meant for me. Yes Fam for life
Great convo! My daughter has a math disability called Dyscalculia and getting her needs met have been supported by her school but also been a major struggle in some ways. Education is so important and offers opportunities for all people. Those who struggle economically, politically and with learning disabilities need even more support and empowerment.
One of your best video’s yet…seeking discomfort at it’s prime! Matt even if you removed everything…you are more than good enough just being Matt, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. I see the actions you’ve taken as a journey of courage and strength…simply inspiring on so many levels. I’ve watched you guys for years, your existence and energy is a blessing to this world. Your new passion/s & why/s will come when they’re meant to, it’s not something that you can force…just have faith, that one day, they will suddenly come out of nowhere. In the meantime, focus on finding the love within for yourself…I can’t wait for you to see what we strangers see so clearly
You can tell there's a lot of love put into everything y'all do and also into this friendship. I already pre-ordered the book and can't wait to read it :)
Genuinely love the candidness
I truly loved this conversation as a whole. And as someone who has been ticking my goals off one by one since i was 18. I applaud you thomas for allowing yourself to choose which goals are achievable in the right time frame of your life. And which ones you don't have to rush. It's extremely important to do that.
Here to sign up to being Thomas future wife 🙋♀️
I'm all for this, you two would be a power couple 💪🏻🤩
It is so profound to watch your interaction and hear about the difficulties you two had to face in your friendship. The reality behind Matt stepping out and the authenticity with whom your sharing the story, the love and care you two show as possible through the ups and downs, opens a door into the mainstream consciousness of what is possible. Usually we regard only romantic relationships in these terms, but your conversation puts intimacy (into-me-see)into a whole new perspective. Your honesty is raising mass consciousness big time and I thank you for that. Change is the only constant of our lives, and that includes relationships.
Both are great ❤️ Matt is such a special person. It’s so clear how well he wishes for others and genuinely cares for thomas
This is such a relatable conversation, wow. I resonated with so much of your experiences. Thank you for sharing!
Matt is such a great listener. Feels weird listening in to a conversation between best friends. Thanks for sharing ❤
I love this so much! The perspective that you all have is amazing! So proud of you matt and thomas for breaching these topics and just being open with each other and the viewers. Thanks for these
I love the rawness, honesty and sense of comfort/discomfort of this podcast. Grateful for this channel and Yes Theory. Such an inspiration and light to many, Love from Thailand xx
Honestly there is nothing more attractive than a man who talks so openly about his intentions, fears and emotions. It makes me quite sad and annoyed at us people for having built, throughout many decades, this type of patriarchal society where sharing these parts of ourselves with this kind of openness is considered weak and something to be ashamed of for men. I truly admire the ability that you two have to sit in front of each other and share your experiences face to face. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence, and I am glad to see it happening more and more between guys.💫
Over the past few weeks and months I was struggling a lot with trying to figure out my next steps, trying to decide what dreams I'm capable to chase, and especially what my personal WHY is. This has helped me a lot to see things more clearly and to take a step back from feeling alone with this issue that at times can completely take over my mind. Thank you so much for sharing and helping other people with this kind of honest talks❤️
Such a gorgeous video, you can feel the friendship and love
Loving this podcast Matt, thank you for bringing us these conversations!
I've connected and reflected with this conversation in so many ways.. thank you for sharing this 🤍
Thanks for sharing to us. Relationship grows, changes and sometimes it continues or ends. It is up to the people in the relation how it goes. I am happy to listen to your growth. ❤
This one was hard to listen to, I loved it. After all these years I think I was not even ready to face some of the things you said, but I listened, I understand and I appreciate the honesty. This episode is taking us close to the end. Agh, bittersweet.
Just so excited for the book! Another amazing conversation. If everything does not work out in your endeavors Matt, you can do this podcast forever, you will always have one listener.
Thank you both for this. I know it wasn't the easiest thing to do based on some of the things said, but that's what makes you both who you are. Brave as hell, honest, accepting, and emotional. It's truly something to be proud of, and I'm so happy this episode exists.
I know you both have me thinking.
Thank you for your vulnerability, and I hope to see the future blossom with you all together.
Just when I thought the podcast with Pedro was the best you topped it with this. You guys are amazing in a world where it seems forbidden to talk about mental health your strong and so amazing for sharing it this way. I appreciate the openness.
And Thomas I'm one of the people who think about changing the education system in my country but also would love to have an impact in any other country as well in that sector so I'd love to be a part of it.
Awesome conversation guys, thank you for sharing
Thank you Matt, Thank you Thomas for both being so open and honest about your friendship and you maybe leaving Yes Theory but that door is always open and I can bet you anything this isn't the last we will see of you Matt!
Wow. Deep. Thanks Thomas and Matt for opening up and being vulnerable in front of the Yes Theory family. Great role models for your audience and men, to be real with yourself and reflect your emotions. The videos are amazing, we don’t realize the amount of pull it may have on a RUclipsrs life. Thank you guys for all that you do for the global community. Peace be with you and greetings from Los Angeles, you guys rock!
I've been WAITING for this podcast
Good for you guys. This is fantastic, especially to see two young men talking so openly about how they feel. Bravo! It’s remarkable the insights that you’re having at 30. I’m 39, and it certainly is a much different perspective than 29, but I’m just starting to finally sit with myself and feel everything I’ve been through over my lifetime. Lots and lots of trauma. Lots of saying yes when I really wanted to say no. Lots of burn out. It is hard and it is a lot to process. But man is life so much better once you do and have that wisdom and experience to pull from. Great video. Thanks for being brave!
So much kindness and compassion throughout this conversation. ❤ it was worth listening and i took so much from this.
I finally got around to watching this one. My birthday was 11/19 I’m so happy to see what happened on that day and to now come back and here this, it was a surprise gift that was in front of my eyes ❤
I love the openness between you. An openness of heart.
This was so impactful Matt! I know I barely know you, but having recently met you - wow. This to me speaks on so many levels; namely the evolution of anyone's trajectory in life. You both are a bit younger than I, but man you guys are inspiring, and both Yes Theory and Seek Discomfort has resonated with me over the last few months, and I am now trying to figure out how to get to my dream, and I'm still trying to breakthrough that. Thomas - your thought pattern and mind mapping is amazing. You both are just amazing men, you have made such an impact in so many areas of the world. I'm blown away 😊 💜
After 8 years of amazing and eye opening experiences, all you can do is pray your next years to come can change more lives in more ways! I’m so proud of you guys for everything you’ve accomplished. It’s an amazing story and some stories come to an end and some stories don’t ❤ you guys have opened my eyes throughout the years and I cherish the fact you’re so open and confident with your audience. Cheers guys for 8 years, I’ll definitely be buying the book, and if Thomas ever sees this hit me up lol ♥️
I just want to give Matt a big hug 🥺 Matt if you’re reading this you’ve come a long way, constantly working towards bettering your self from the War your family has gone through is HARD WORK. Pat yourself on the back, feeling lost and like you don’t know what you’re doing IS OK. it’s a process for souls that struggle w anxiety. You got this !!
This made me smile, laugh and cry at the same time. Thank you, Matt and Thomas. I've been struggling lately and I am grateful that this video is very insightful and full of reflections. I’ll definitely keep going. Thank you thank you!
Great episode missed y'all being together I'm so happy for the honest conversations and that y'all were able to come back together and mend your friendship Matt you will always be a part of yes theory and I hope to see you pop in every now and then
Good to hear you two communicating your feelings. Ore importantly that you both acknowledge your love and friendship of one another. 👏🏽❤️👏🏽❤️👏🏽❤️
I'll take it as a good sign that the book is being released on my birthday!
I'm currently getting ready for a journey to asia and trying to beat the fear of flying and of leaving my family. Even though I can't wait to get there, I am starting to feel a bit nervous about all the unknown. Therefore I've came to watch your wholesome videos and here I am, struck by your conversation. Not only seeking discomfort with outerly things, but also with yourself and people around you.
This is by far the best channel on youtube.
I absolutely love that you guys made this podcast series. This was the best episode so far 🤍⚡️
Alright so Ive watched you guys for years now.. I gotta say this... Matt and Thomas both of you very good story tellers, but I also love the message you guys leave on every step of the way.. its beautiful and inspiring for many of us in the remote parts parts of the society to even come close.. I appreciate the fact that you guys keep going, and hopefully Matt the book encapsulates what you've been hoping for. In a world with a lot of uncertainty and fear and nonsense, I deeply appreciate you guys!
Just want to say Matt you are not alone. I can understand when you have this vague ideas about things, how they should be but not being able to realise it fully. Like something great is coming but not knowing when will it come... And the time just passes by and you wonder oh I just started just trying to figure it out how to make it happen.
Hoping to see a clear vision for myself and wishing the same for you 🙏🏻 good luck!
I hope everything goes well, as a yes theory fan from a not so good place right now (Myanmar). I found comfort watching your videos and Im taking action to accomplish my goals even if I hardly get any attention and Im an introvert but I found that without action I can't accomplish. Thanks for making these videos, it helps me to keep going and find new goals.
Thank you so much for having this conversation. The biggest point I took away from this is that life us an ebb and flow of ups and downs, not a linear progression of constantly going up. It shows that the down times are points you can reassess your goals and not feel like you failed.
Your both such great listeners, i loved this conversation 🧡
I watch three young man through these channel bringing a values that at the end makes them learn about life. The energy cultivated become the resources that lead into learning their better version of their self. We see two of them talking heart to heart about hows life for them, and what we can learn about so that we can at least function when our self loose the sanity or just need company. Hey matt I wish you find your inner peace through this writing process, we love your company and yet we love your determination to find your way to keep living as the matt that bringing our days happiness within yestheory video. I hope your sky is much clearer now... and our thomas, thank you for being such a good friend for matt and yes fams. Looking forward for the legendary three man team video anytime... 🌬💙
This was powerful. Thank you for inviting us in to witness the respect, compassion, and love you have for each other. Wow, just amazing. And yes: MAGIC happened in that black taxi when Matt joined.
This is an EPIC and awesome openness and the approach is beautiful, stay blessed and loving for one another
Enjoyed watching this convo, love you guys and good luck with everything in life !
AHHH How am I only now seeing this. But honestly I reaally feel like I was MEANT to see it just now because girl is going THRU IT and I needed this :(
Honestly, I think this is best video YES THEORY has ever made. Thousands of listeners will take away valuable lessons from this very candid conversation..
I don’t know how to thank you. Cheers.
Friends means everything ❤
i had some friends that i also build a business and were together 24/7. i wish it my business relationship with them had ended as maturely and beautiful as what you guys did. not an easy or pretty thing to go trough at all. its hard but im so glad you had this conversation. props to you guys!
Being heartbroken doesnt totally leaves you
-thats 100% true. I was thomas at 22 and that was 14 years ago and in a happy relationship and is casual with that person but still it doesnt totally leaves you, the lessons most of all.
I can so relate to Matt a little bit right now, as I’ve had a pretty adventurous life up until the last year or so and at this point, I’m 34 and I have no idea what I want in life. I just want to be happy, I know that much.
One thing I got from this whole conversation is that Thomas is genuinely a wonderful soul and anyone who is friends with him is genuinely a lucky person. I want to be more like him, especially in the way I interact with people.
This was beautiful.
Beautiful conversation. Beautiful men. Thank you ✨
Thomas, you're absolutely, genuinely an amazing soul.
Matt, I L.O.V.E. you. I hope one day I can give you a hug and thank you for everything you helped me to yo understand about myself, through your struggles and aspirations in life.
Thank you.
"One whole long grieving process." Yeah, that's powerful. Beautiful things and beautiful relationships come to an end - our lives are constantly upheaving. We till the old ground into something new and it's a painful process. Just finished the book and loved it - I couldn't put it down. It's great introspection. I love how your relationship with Derin starts and ends the book.