This is probably my favourite trip story EVER! I’m sure you can see why lol. You can watch the uncensored version on Patreon: patreon.com/psychedsubstance for the stuff we can’t show here. Cheers!
@slateran checking his channel, it seems both him and his wife have used substances as early as 2 weeks ago? And from another comment, I also heard his wife tripped with him on this occasion? So I'm amusing his family life is fine? So is there a real problem, or is there a misunderstanding somewhere, either on my end, or your end. I'm pretty sure his video 2 weeks ago is with his wife, or maybe they aren't married. I'm not sure about the relationship status, but they seem together and are doing fine
I understand that this is a lot of work and in order to keep being able to put that work into, you'll have to get some financial legitimation out of it. But I'm not a big fan of paywalling the uncensored content. I appreciate your content a lot and I'll happily donate, but not because of the content I'll get out of supporting.
@@666slateran666 Why the hell are you even talking (Or discussing) the private life of a person you absolutely don't know. This is completely irrelevant for you and everyone reading this and you don't know anything besides the little stuff that adam shared on here quite some time ago. Wtf? Also: I'd think its legitimate to say that someone wants to stop with the toxic and addictive stuff they got used to (Like Kratom, stimulants, alcohol, whatever) especially since the way these substances are used in the context of addiction has toxic influences on your life and social relations. Its a completely different thing with stuff like psychedelics, due to the non-toxic nature of them and also due to it not being a comparable addiction context. Thus, the way you'd use psychedelics and the way that they influence your life is completely different. This comparison is idiotic, lol. I also highly doubt that Adam, or anyone else, is actually "addicted" to psychedelics. Some may like the experiences a lot, and thus they probably want to repeat them (Some more often than others). But that's not really addiction in the way that Kratom, other opioids, stimulants, alcohol cause addiction. Never heard of anyone eating psychedelics every day because he feels that he has to in order to feel okay (Excluding microdoses, those don't really give you any psychoactive effect that could be desired). Stupid comments imo, don't even know why I brought up the time to actually answer to this.
@slateran Adam's issues were never psychedelics, it was addictive substances. If you've been watching, you should know his doctor prescribed him psychedelics..
I'm giving away my age here, but back in late 1968 or early 1969, I took a purple barrel of an eight way hit of Purple Owsley Acid made by Owsley Stanley himself that was less than two days old. The ego death your talking about, this happened to me, in spades and this wasn't even close to my first experience with LSD. It was unbelievable and to this day, 55 years later, I can honestly say it was the most beautiful, spiritual and most profound experience I ever had in this lifetime. I literally can remember it like it was yesterday and it always makes me feel close to life in ways that are beyond language or even thought that is still with me today, 55 years after the fact! Thanks for sharing!
Don’t be ashamed to give away your age 🥰 age is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this experience, that is really beautiful. LSD has helped me feel that connection that you mention, and shrooms have helped me realize that things aren’t always so serious. Psychedelics are such great buddies to help stay sane, in a sometimes insane world!
@@hannahwillis9838 Thanks for the kind words, I'd just turned 19 around this time, it was an exciting time to be alive, a lot going on back those days for sure! Feel blessed. ((:
i guess my natural instinct is to not kill the vibe. because when I was going through an intense ego death experience on acid, I was laid up on the couch in the fetal position 100% certain that I was dying thinking I should definitely call an ambulance, but then I looked around at all my friends tripping and having an amazing time and was like no dude I'll just die I don't wanna ruin their fun with an ambulance lmao
I once tried a weed for the first time before alcohol or nicotine and I inhaled three big hits or four and when I was standing my whole visual field turned into a green visual snow for a sec and I never felt so different so I sterted to panic and wanted to call an ambulance but then I knew we all would get into big troble so I just sat and waited for the drug to wer off
My first mushroom trip when i was 17, we were outside all day. It was lovely. When we came back to my home we decided to hang out in the empty basement suit. Then my friend came down and she left and i went upstairs and it was the first time i was infront of a mirror. I cried because i felt so beautiful. Not in an egotistical way, like thats how "god" sees me. It was the first time i ever truly loved myself. To this day, i always love looking in the mirror.
You know what is absolutely beautiful about this video, the tips you give in the first half on how to keep your experience from turning into a bad trip is extremely helpful for anxiety as well. With my panic disorder the whole premise is based on me feeling like I’m not in control and I’m losing my mind, and it is quite similar to an ego death trip in the sense that my mind thinks it is losing its touch with what I’m comfortable with and who I am, so I panic, but these tips are exactly how I’m trying to fight it. Letting go of everything you know and think you know, and becoming okay with the thought of losing your mind, letting whatever happens happen to you, is the absolute most powerful thing a person can learn and experience. Might I say the most terrifying thing, as I have to experience the feelings daily and nothing scares me more.
My heart hurt to read what you’re going through on a daily basis. I don’t know if you’ve ever called out to Jesus? I have, many times in my life, and there’s power in the name, even if you don’t believe. My prayer for you: Philippians 4:7
I used to experience this daily for years. I found flooding and leaning into it and egging it on more stopped it really intensely. I couldn't imagine a day without several of these waves taking me out completely. Flooding the therapy, it worked for me. I feel what you said deeply.
Same here I'm currently trying to get off benzos for the first time in 15 years since I started the prescription 2 days in 3 days most I can get no matter what I tell myself and know I'm supposed to be ok it still starts to make my chest tight heart speed and breaks me down into being scared again I don't get it idk ended up taking another quarter pill idk feel pretty different like ego death compared to where I was before I started trying to stop
Since November I've had 3 significant trips that has given me everything I needed in my life. The first helped me grieve the death of my little brother, the second helped me with my relationship with my sons mother, and the third one gave me a path to take in life and the motivation to start moving on the path as well as the confidence to know that this is my path and I will succeed in the ways that I need to.
i watch you when im on psychedelic journeys, you always calm me. help me focus on the good and bring it back to myself. thank you adam, love your content.
My main tactic when faced with overwhelming terror and confusion during a trip is to remind myself that it ends in a matter of hours. Time can mean absolutely nothing in that moment, but I recognize that the unwanted experience will end. Then I just surrender to observing my experience and not spinning out on the random anxieties that pester my negative trips.
Worst ego death I've ever experienced was when I stupidly thought I could get away with a quick DMT trip while waiting for the Acid to kick in. At first it was really cool but it instantly took a sharp turn when I obviously took too much acid. Got stuck in a loop that felt like it lasted centuries with only minutes passing, I would pass out and wake up over and over while it seemed like no time passed at all, the next part is the scariest experience of my life. I passed out again only to not wake up this time. It was darker than anything I've ever seen. I was aware I was there but it was the only thing I was aware of. I existed but at the same time I also didn't and I was aware of it. 100% killed my fear of death, as to me nothing will ever be scarier than existing in complete nothingness
sounds like you were thrust unprepared into the 7th jhana (of 8,) the samadhi of nothingness. from the buddha's description: ""With the complete transcending of the Sphere of Infinite Consciousness (the 6th jhana,) thinking, 'There is no-thing,' one enters and remains in the Sphere of No-thingness."
I've experienced this plane. And transcended it into full color, living the death of 3 past lives. Seen peices of their life, their death, and what they couldn't seen after. Also last night I experienced the realm of nothing, but it was something. The void turned into the darker colors and I experienced vision as if I was a camera, fixed on objects, jumping from thing to thing, focused on group of people that were on a journey and I followed them. And watched their numbers dwindle too just 2. And then as the dmt was hyping down to base level, they became aware of my presence, they smiled and faded back into the void.
Sounds like my experiences with 5-Meo-DMT. But instead of a dark void, it was this white noise. And it's not existence, because there is nothing else other than that white noise could contrast with. There was just a white noise. Forever. Then I was born back into reality, or something. Everything before that now feels like a dream I just can remember really well. Eternity sucks. When religious people promises me eternal life, I shake my head because they don't know what they're talking about.
I have experienced ego death twice. I was so glad I put sticky notes around the house telling me I was tripping and everything is good. Do not call anyone hahaha. I was alone.
I used to trip alone but I usually only do it with my gf now so I always kind of have an escape and just focus on cuddling or something. I find I don't get much out of it solo anymore it's way more useful when there's someone to talk to. Or I'll just end up laying staring at the ceiling for 5 hours lol.
@@pricklycats ohhhh man that's what I did last time lol I laid in my bed and tried to go to sleep listening to music but would just stare at the ceiling tripping balls. I still have those same mushrooms in my closet 6 months later and I haven't touched them.
That feeling you get. All of us get it at one point or another if you prefer the higher dose journeys. It's that voice that says, "this is it, you've really gone and done it this time. You've finally taken it too far and now this is just life now"
@@starboiklem8381 Getting intensely high seems to be good practice for practicing how to let yourself go and just get carried away to where the drug wants to take you.
I just did a mushroom trip and completely relate to this. I actually thought I would induce a bad trip with the way I was thinking. I have been struggling with loving myself and deal with the misery of depression. I didnt know what would come of this trip, but to my surprise it was the best trip Ive ever had. Yes there was some bad parts where I looped and saw aliens, but I told myself that there had to be more than this and that mushrooms are suppose to make you be happy. After that I relaxed and let it take me on a roller coaster of happiness. All smiles and laughter. I lost my body and felt like I turned into a light that became one with whatever felt like a good vibration. Shit is crazy. I couldnt believe that I could be happy like that again. Now being normal and human again, I feel immensely humble. I may even start micro dosing.
@@roomueller7305 the first hour was the most intense part and I quite literally felt like the universe was fucking me. Passing me around to different dimensions... As I was warping I saw these 3 alien faces looking down at me like their faces were divided in sections? So it was like seeing a broken mirror and there was an alien on each shard. And they were huge and I was just an entity? Yes they were the typical ones youd see but more grey with a hint of green. Nothing more happened than that.... I just felt in that moment that everything was out of my control. They were just studying and watching my soul.
@@naomio.7503 I hadnt tripped in a few years prior to this, so this was almost like a new experience again. It's crazy bc I only took an eighth, 4 mg and it was the strongest shit. There were many caps in that batch.
Dude. I know this was supposed to be serious and all (and it indeed is), but this was so freaking hilarious. You're one hell of a psyched-storyteller. Thanks for sharing. It was awesome.
I just wanted to say this video is fantastic. The editing is on point and made me laugh. I’m not done yet but sorry to hear you weren’t feeling great. Thank you for this!
Damn, following those thoughts is exhausting. Take refuge in pure awareness and let them all pass. Why energise more thoughts, even positive ones to the tornado of identification? A meditation practice is so important in these realms
listen, you being apparently as strong and resilient as you are, you mentioning the takeaway of the trip being “see the good in things”, should be all you need to overcome your addiction. You quite literally conquered your mind when not even being close to controlling it. Just imagine what you can do when in control. Overcoming your addiction is just one of many things that you can and should do. Hope you see this and great video as always.
Exactly what I just posted. :) The trips always end eventually. Even if the whole thing was nightmarish it will stop. Then I can relax into my experience and move beyond the anxiety and terror. That's usually when I switch to a more positive facet of the trip.
totally agree. I had my first "bad" trip a week ago by accidentally taking way too much and just kept telling myself it will end eventually, nobody has ever died from too many mushrooms and just kept telling myself you're okay until I was able to calm back down. but man was that moment of panic/fear intense for awhile.
Puscifer is a perfect band for challenging trips imo. "Find a way, through, around, or over" walking the razors edge. Such beauty in these experiences.
This is why I don't trip with strangers in wierd environments. *Lots of people pointing out the splinter in Adam's eye while ignoring the log in their own. Why exactly are you watching this? It's 100% never been a channel on addiction or recovery.
Im making a Reddit post about something similar to this right now. People fail to see the humanity in people and minimize them down to a single phrase, action, word, day, whatever. Its like we fail to see the complexity of people and instead of realizing that something about them triggered you and trying to figure out why, we just bash them or judge them. I dont think we will continue to advance if we shame and judge
Unfortunately, there are a lot of miserable people. People who have never experienced true freedom, don't know peace, don't understand consciousness..... I've noticed a trend- People don't like it when others are enjoying life more than they are.
@@lunaticzeroone i am sort of struggling to get the wording right. Its super long and I would like it to be shorter and more concise but I think maybe there's no way around it being long.
Agreed. I have 10 years of experience w psychedelics. I've researched and took precautions for each Substance as well as my body response to each one. This isn't an addiction or recovery channel. Seems to me all these individuals are projecting their fears and lack of self control. My last trip was 2 years ago and I'm planning one this year. Gonna make it a great one with meditation and full enhanced experience to move up to the next level of my spiritual development. As a Luciferian this is nothing more than a tool, how you use it is entirely your responsibility.
Dude I had the same "focus on the good" feeling after tripping on mushrooms. Like you, my experience was extremely challenging, but super rewarding also. I basically felt as if I'd exercised a muscle in my brain that filters out negative thoughts and I've become way less complainy because of it. It's so cool to hear a similar outcome!
definitely possible. I've depressed my whole life and the few weeks after my 4-ACO-DMT dose definitely felt like i was so much more free and both in control of my destiny and my mood.
Hallmark of a heavy trip "Is this ever going to end?" "Will I ever be normal/ok again?". First time I ate 5g of dried psilocybin mushrooms I became an infant. Everything was new, I couldn't talk, I knew no language and I could barely move around on stable footing. I actually fell and hit my head and for a split second I had a moment of clarity but once the pain was gone I was shot right back to being an infant. I ended up taking some benzos to not panic and I regret it because my memory of such a beautiful experience is very blurred. It's an amazing ride to lose everything and be reborn.
Adam, it sounds like Jasmine had a trip much more similar to that of the other trippers. Not as intense. Is there a chance we could get a duo video where she shares some of her experience? Maybe a q/a with both of you?
youtube decided to give me this video right after i watched "i´m not okay" and its a rollercoaster of emotions, almost crying in one video to pure joyfull laughs at the other :D
Out of the near thousand trips I’ve had, only 2 were terror trips. When I was 16, I took 6 insanely potent electric koolaid tabs on no tolerance. I completely ceased to exist, almost like I’ve heard a 5-MEO trip is. The peak consisted of my entire life flashing before my eyes in a manner I can only describe as a movie reel before everything just went black in a way I can’t really remember. When I came to after the peak, I was in hell. I had this relentless urge as strong as the urge to vomit when sick to stab myself in the jugular. But I held out for 3 hours before I called my friend. He knew exactly what to say. In a matter of minutes, the relief took me from a hell trip to the most blissful heaven trip I’ve ever had.
Just curious, what kind of things did he say to help? I had a similar experience regarding the urge to stab myself and I'd like to know how to deal with those scary intrusive thoughts in the future
Great video sir! Had me on the edge of my seat, slowing my own breath & laughing out loud when you spoke about the lady with the crystals! You are an amazing storyteller! 🖤🙌
I had ego death a few times. I ate three hits of acid that ended up being way more potent than I had thought. I saw myself die a million ways a second it felt like. Things like having my hands cut off in a sawmill by being put on the actual saw. Having cops shoot through the door. Having a heart attack. Having the building I was on the seventh floor of bucking all around and falling out the window and crashing on the ground. Being shot into the sun....crazy shit. Then I was just gone...thoughts and language no longer existed...self was gone...I had no feelings....I was just viewing images that were extremely scary.
@@jkm1059that’s definitely an ego death, when you’re that deep on such a high does of acid you have no comprehension of your reality in a solid way, i can’t put it into words. my last acid trip was 600ug and that shit will change your view on everything and you will latch onto whatever fear or questioning you’re going through
@@narvi5779 the psychonautwiki demystifies a lot about psychedelics if you need an explanation but basically high doses of psychedelics can completely supress your memory both short and long term so you have no access to them but are still generating new memories so you can remember what happened. As far as why it's called ego death, your ego, or who you are as a person is based on your memories, having no access to them will completely remove your self identity, combine that with the inability to tell where you end (in the metaphysical sense) and the environment begins and you get ego death
A 3g shroom trip had similar but I saw my brother dieing nothing I could do over and over gettyhit by a train then saw me dieing getting shot by cops getting stabbed by my next door neighbor homeless guy breaking in and beating me I stayed up that night thinking it was actually going to happen
I genuinely laughed a lot while watching this and I really needed that. I kept picturing you pacing back and forth, arms folded, shaking your head going "nope uh uh nope I did NOT sign up for no orgy" thank you for sharing this wonderful story and I'm glad you're ok
Totally reminds me of my very intense mushroom "horrortrip". Same kind of ego dissolution, same fears, been completely on my own, completely lost.... until ego had lost all it's power to fight. From my experience the key is not looking forward to something, it's letting go and be ready to face whatever follows, and to die. MUCH more easy said than done, because eternity in this hell feels so real. But that was what instantly changed my trip to an "enlightenment" experience. Think this is what you are chasing Adam. Ultimately it's not about having a joyful trip, but about "coming" home and total clarity.
same thing happened to me. It also made my "psychic" abilities far stronger to the point I could nearly control it. I've had normal precognition here or there fairly often but just glimpses. Mushrooms allowed me to literally predict a lot of things before they happened, even helped me make decent money sports betting lol.
i almost had an ego death but i didn’t take anything i was just going through extreme anxiety/spiritual experiences, like going crazy but at the same time i knew i wasn’t crazy, hallucinations and everything. At one point i felt like i was physically and mentally dying like i was gonna rest or be liberated from my ego /pass out , but then my mind took over and started thinking “you’re dying “ fear took over for a second , then i was okay with dying because i was going through extreme suffering , but i got an out of this world fear that i was going to die and go to hell , so that’s when my ego fought to stay alive . i still wonder what would be if i actually had an ego death , i was ready to die but i wasn’t ready to die and live in hell for eternity lol
My uncle took me to the Native American Church about 20 years ago. It was the second time for ne but this time was special because someone had fresh green peyote buttons rather than paste and tea made from dried peyote. I ate two whole cacti which is a task in itself, went through the nasueating come up and threw up in front of myself while sitting cross legged. Someone was tasked with collecting everones vomit, they put dirt in it to solidify it. The naseua faded and it became very euphoric. At some point i started a telepathuc conversation with a women sitting across from me and a bit left of the center fire. We talked and talked as if it was normal to comunicate in that way, before we ended our talk i was wise and scientifically minded enough to realize i needed some tyoe of confirmation that this isnt just a hallucunation so i telepathically said to her " if this is real please come up to me in the gathering at the end of the cerimony, come within inches of my face and stare in my eyes" The cerimony went on hours and hours many more miracles and phenomenon occured and i had deep visions and interesting closed eye visuals of smoke dancing. At the end gathering and feast the woman came up to me and dud exactly as we had agreed. As her face nearly touched mine and she looked in my eyes i just smiled but actually i was a bit confused, at that moment i had completely forgotten about our psychic talk and agreement to confirm it due to all the other amazing occurences that followed it. It wasnt until the car ride home that i remnembered our delightful telepathic talk. I'm an extremely skeptikal person but after about 25 years of pschedelic use i've witnessed enough telepathy, telekenesis and just all around miracles while in groups or by myself when pschedelics were involved to know for a personal fact ( if you will ) that there is a real phenomenon going on. I hope by some chance that the woman at the peyote cerimony happens upon this message
Also I struggle and hope that psychedelics will eventually break my many other addictions. Still struggling through the trauma and integrating it all. I hope to god one of these near future psychedelic journeys leave me on my path addiction free!
Cannabis induced psychosis here. Really miss psychedelics. Also miss my own Dexedrine prescription, unfortunately I abused it. Dexedrine post acute withdrawal was the main reason I started smoking.
I'm diagnosed differentiated schizophrenia, 5 personality disorders, chronic panic attacks and major depression. The only medication that has helped with the least side effects have been psychedelics. Not everyone's vibe for sure, but for me this type of experience has been more effective than benzos or antipsychotics
This is exactly how I felt when I took an eighth of some crazy mushrooms on an empty stomache at age 15- I went into the trip asking to see the truth. I didn't know who I was or what anything was- no concept of anything, no concept of concept even - extreme fear- remember thinking if I never existed, how can I be dying? What is death? What is a dream? Who is I? It seemed like it was never going to end, behind my eyelids I had intense vibrant moving fractals- I felt like I was in the in-between- not here nor there. When I came out of it it was the biggest relief and the most grateful I was to just be. Ever since that first crazy intro to psychedelics I am careful and micro dose
I can't imagine what this is like, I did the same thing at 15 but maybe ate a gram or 2 and it was the most intense moment of my life, but it wasn't "nothing" I was just flying around 3d geometry at roller coaster speeds feeling overwhelming emotions and confusion. I can't believe some 15 year olds go in doing 5 grams for their first time. Absolutely insane
@@narvi5779 right? My friend took 5 grams at that age and said it was an amazing trip, I wonder if I had taken more if I would've just been fully immersed and less terrified- like Terence McKenna says Because I truly didn't know who I was anymore, and I was not expecting or trained on ego death which made it more intense for sure It's definitely impacted me
@@narvi5779 I've had mushrooms where 2 grams felt like 4 grams on weaker shrooms. Not all mushrooms are equal. Which is why I prefer synthetic psychedelics because mushrooms are hard to dose properly (not to mention the uncomfortable stomach feeling you can get from eating mushrooms).
@@dashagazo8508 You probably just had super strong mushrooms. I had some one time a long time ago that blew everything else out of the water, you could trip decently hard off like 1 gram. And I wasn't new to drugs at that point my less experienced friends had to take like half a gram lol
On psychs, other people that I don't know ALWAYS feel off, either if they're tripping or if they're really nice, they still feel off. And there's nothing to do about it so having alot of random people around you just feels like a really weird experience.
Hey Adam, I love listening to your trips because they remind me of epilepsy. I know this sounds crazy but I'm one of those epileptic people who actually retain all of my memories from when I have seizures. Most people don't have any memories at all ages it's like they just have black outs. For years it was always terrifying for me mainly because of the visual hallucinations and not being able to control "myself" even though most of the time I don't even know I am a "self". The forgetting to breath or thinking I'm not breathing is the most terrifying. A couple of years ago I discovered your channel and other channels like yours. After listening to many testimonials, I began to draw a connection between my epilepsy trips and psychedelic trip reports. So many times I've left my body, observed my body from outside of my body, entered into different dimensions, traveled the entire cosmos, met Jesus plenty of times, many many geometric patterns and entities who have helped me lose my ego and guided me. Even though I've done several psychedelics in my youth I can honestly say that my favorite trips NOW are when I have seizures. I used to hate them and spent my whole entire adult life, hiding the fact that I have epilepsy from everyone. Now I 100% love my "super power" because I have something to compare it to and I get to have trips almost nightly without ever paying a dime. 😂 I used to be really really scared to talk about my seizures and what I've seen and experienced especially when it came to my hallucinations. Of course my biggest fear was always being afraid of someone thinking I'm insane because of mental illness taboo or that people just wouldn't believe me or understand my experiences. Since being able to open up about it, I have now encountered many others who have epilepsy who experience it the same way or similarly to the way I do. I really need to open up more about it on my channel.
6:50 To answer your reasoning for being at the ceremony "to gain insight about your addiction personality" you just have to listen to yourself at 3:00 "I was of the mind that if you don't take a monster dose, nothing is gonna happen" I think that's all the insight you need for your addiction personality bro.
Ego is identification with the thought in the head as you!!! Spiritual awakening is when you realize there’s a inner voice always talking at you and subsequently, you shift back into our natural state, it’s the unconditioned presence. It’s bliss, peace, love and joy! You exist before the thought. And btw you are very funny!!
I get that too🤣 I also get the feeling when I'm tripping on shrooms that I fell asleep and I'm in a lucid dream but I'm actually awake 🤣 it's so crazy but I honestly don't mind it, it makes me feel like I don't have to take things as seriously because I think I'm dreaming 🤣
I used to grow Bolivian torch. Like San Pedro it's legal to grow in the states. At the time, I didn't know it was psychoactive. Had a buddy who let me know so I let him take a cactus and took one myself. His was maybe a foot and a half long. I took a three footer. We prepared them, took some vacation time. And went camping. Like you said. It was hands down the most vile thing I've ever consumed. It was liquid, yet slime, smooth and somehow kind of chunky. So like you we decided it would be best to just man up and chug our drinks. I remember getting real nauseas and feeling like I drank too much. Got light headed, got the spins. Tried to sit down to compose myself and as soon as I had the thought that I was good, I started throwing up. Each heave things got more and more intense. Until finally I chucked and everything started constantly changing colors and then it became very kaleidoscopopic. I remember laying down watching clouds emanate from the sun. Decided to close my eyes and was immediately taken from my body, felt like I was sinking into the ground and when I stopped I could see the entirety of the forest through electrical connections. I saw through the plants. Felt all the insects and deer, and bears and other animals walking. Around on me. Felt the intensity of the wind through the awareness of the entire forest. It was my first out of two mescaline experiences. The second I took less, and ended up playing duck duck goose with the rock formations at goblin valley. Never done dmt. But out of the psychedelics I have done. Mescaline is hands down my favorite
The chaos loop is how I've described it. Like static tv in color and eyeballs and all you can do is focus on one sound, mental image, sense or idea that just gets played over and over times seemingly infinity as you are stuck in chaos. Then you give up and after that you realize you are able to link 2 ideas or whatever, then 3, then more as reality starts to come back as the drug wears off. Then after the trip is over you can't shake this nagging feeling that maybe discipline and order is a good way to get through the chaotic nature of life cause after all it was order that saved you from that chaos, (or at least perhaps maybe I shouldn't knock it).
i had a ego death experience at lala… i reverted to talking like a child.. aging backwards i returned to normal after words but it took weeks maybe years to feel the same as before
The final 2 or 3 minutes made the rest worth it. Those take aways about "what you're focusing on" in life, in your trip are very important realizations
That's a great lesson- every positive thought leads to more positivity... I try to remain optimistic at every moment of my life indefinitely, but I often forget to redirect negative thoughts, which I should because if I don't then it will lead to more negativity. Great story 😄
Going through this terrifying seemingly never ending mental and physical torture and then coming up with an epiphany /personal-growth meaning to it, that most people realise while being completely sober and healthy (and which also washes away next time real life hits you again) shows the behaviour of lot of drug/psychedelic addicts who are not really dealing with their issues, but find new ways of getting high . I really hope this story makes people realise how these experiences are damaging rather than healing. Wanting the biggest dose you can get is a sign you just want to get super high, not "heal" or deal with your ego. It's sad, but you did tell the story in a funny way, you have a nice skill there. Best of luck overcoming your troubles.
I can REALLY appreciate this experience story telling. ESPECIALLY the last 5 minutes because i relate to that so hard. I have been personality tested and was the ONLY one who was positive arrogant lol. We always know but need to learn/experience it for ourselves anyways.
Adam I've been following you for years now, and although I have not brought myself to the point of physical brawn as you have in recent years, I always enjoy living vicariously through the stories of your experiences. It makes me feel inspired that you have and continue to put yourself on camera to do some of these things. I get that you're doing this for information and harm-reduction, but there's something about getting serious about psychedelics that's always made me feel apprehensive. Though with the coming of increasingly decriminalized psilocybin, I'm sure we will see other compounds follow suit. Sometimes I wish I knew more people... I love my friends but the rest of this town is either drunk or on crack, smack, dope, or meth...
To me the best part of a trip is the self discovery that happens when I'm exploring the world around me like a child that just learned to walk. Me looking at my environment around me helps me keep negativity at bay. Being outside in nature or in a cozy home with lots of character and things to look at with great music and good people is all I need to feel secure safe and look at the world in all its glory.
I have also experienced the lack of needing to breathe. It was like wow I guess I don't need to breathe now, then I got up to go to the bathroom and I passed out
I wish I was in the same room doing this trip along with you. I am the same bro, I would have said I’m here for my addiction personally issue, I’m very rebellious and we would have shared the best trip together. Thanks for your honest and one of the best reviews of any psychedelic experience I’ve seen! Much respect!
So you learned that you need something to look forward to. Maybe you need this in life too and your tendency to addict manifests as an attempt to fill a hole created by an absence of meaning in life, that is exactly the kind of thing i mean by meaning. The storyline of your life, short and long term is crucial in determining your happiness. Terrence might say “are you the hero of your own story adam?” Expand your conception of possibility through spiritual contemplation and you might just end up re-directing all this energy away from this nihilistic action plan of addiction and wasted potential and towards a path of being truly alive, in alignment with all you know god would approve of if he did exist, which he might.
the key is actually to let go. the one thing that causes fear, is the things that you are holding on to. the beautiful thing is that letting go of the things you care about doesnt cause them to disappear. the truth is that you are not the one holding the universe in place.
Adam , I felt like I was going through the trip with you , the fear part , the ego dissolution , the terror , my god it brought me back to my bad trip . But I do have to say , the last part was the best when you talked about choosing to see the good 👍, I’ve since decided to chill on this route for a bit and instead rely on faith and spirit to guide me towards healing and a breakthrough without the use of these substances although I am grateful for them . They Propelled me towards seeking the truth of my being .
Sorry, I know your comment is 3 months old but I just wanted to wish you well in your journey with your faith. The only times I've ever been anywhere close to happy sober in a long time wet when my faith was solid and I was clean. I relapsed and I'm back in a bad pattern but knowing its possible to return there if I work on my own trauma and try improve myself with the aim of being who my god wants me to be and can use to help others. Tldr, good luck and stay strong, loving (to yourself and those around you) and faithful and you'll do great moving forward :). I wish you all the best for the future 🙏.
2:08 -> 2:15 ... exactly. your Audience is attracted by this tone. Planning, structuring sitting back and giving yourself a second (Scripting) the video enchances the percieved quailty of your video.
TL/DR: Adam is a pro at descriptive storytelling, particularly with regard to psychedelic experiences. About 23 mins into this video, after two years of enjoying Adam's content, I am now finally realizing why I like it (and him) so much: Adam has the rare linguistic ability to storytell AND describe what fellow experienced psychonauts such as ourselves have only heretofore been able to hint at; Adam distills the essence of what it is like to perceive and interpret a world before one has even comprehended any given language. Right at 22:30 in this video he NAILS it. Adam is able to describe WITH WORDS what it is like to perceive the world without the knowledge or comprehension OF words. This, and his ability to recall are both amazing and exceedingly rare talents.
On one of the most intense mushroom strains out there (PE Melmac) and one of my highest dosages I had the same thing described at 32:00 . It’s like u could understands someone’s ego,intentions, energy. I was looking at people not tripping as they were a walking version of their ego, which is kinda what we are.
I took a 4.5g dose of shrooms the other day and ended up having a bad trip due to my phone dying and losing contact with my friend, I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up I couldn't even remember my name for the first 20 seconds, I thought I had died at first. It took me like 20 minutes to remember everything. Wasn't too bad though because I slept through most of it.
The brain is an extremely advanced pattern and edge detection machine, and psychedelics basically force your brain back into that baby phase where you're learning things for the first time. Like when you see a picture upside down and theres a split second where you have not a fecking *clue* what the hell you're looking at, until you see a shape you recognise then suddenly the whole image snaps into place.
I started laughing so hard after 21:00... Just too relatable 😅🤣😭 Correction: cry laughing after 24:30 because it is too relatable. I'm the kind of person that laughs when they are extremely uncomfortable 🥹 you are very good at describing your experiences... That anime comparison 😂😂😂
The hat choice paired with the background was genius... I'm sober as a mormon and was almost convinced I was tripping after 4 mins. Half of your head was missing. Lol
This is so absolutely relateable from a couple of my experiences! Lol, appointment #2 of 6 in ketamine therapy completely broke me into cells I thought I wouldn't get back into my body 🚀
Thank you so much! F'ing hilarious! I so relate to the "if I move a single muscle I'm going to projectile vomit!" Peyote buttons was the culprit! lol! Much respect.
This is probably my favourite trip story EVER! I’m sure you can see why lol. You can watch the uncensored version on Patreon: patreon.com/psychedsubstance for the stuff we can’t show here. Cheers!
@slateran checking his channel, it seems both him and his wife have used substances as early as 2 weeks ago? And from another comment, I also heard his wife tripped with him on this occasion? So I'm amusing his family life is fine? So is there a real problem, or is there a misunderstanding somewhere, either on my end, or your end. I'm pretty sure his video 2 weeks ago is with his wife, or maybe they aren't married. I'm not sure about the relationship status, but they seem together and are doing fine
I understand that this is a lot of work and in order to keep being able to put that work into, you'll have to get some financial legitimation out of it.
But I'm not a big fan of paywalling the uncensored content.
I appreciate your content a lot and I'll happily donate, but not because of the content I'll get out of supporting.
@@666slateran666 Why the hell are you even talking (Or discussing) the private life of a person you absolutely don't know. This is completely irrelevant for you and everyone reading this and you don't know anything besides the little stuff that adam shared on here quite some time ago. Wtf?
Also: I'd think its legitimate to say that someone wants to stop with the toxic and addictive stuff they got used to (Like Kratom, stimulants, alcohol, whatever) especially since the way these substances are used in the context of addiction has toxic influences on your life and social relations.
Its a completely different thing with stuff like psychedelics, due to the non-toxic nature of them and also due to it not being a comparable addiction context. Thus, the way you'd use psychedelics and the way that they influence your life is completely different. This comparison is idiotic, lol.
I also highly doubt that Adam, or anyone else, is actually "addicted" to psychedelics.
Some may like the experiences a lot, and thus they probably want to repeat them (Some more often than others). But that's not really addiction in the way that Kratom, other opioids, stimulants, alcohol cause addiction. Never heard of anyone eating psychedelics every day because he feels that he has to in order to feel okay (Excluding microdoses, those don't really give you any psychoactive effect that could be desired).
Stupid comments imo, don't even know why I brought up the time to actually answer to this.
Great video Mr. Adam!
@slateran Adam's issues were never psychedelics, it was addictive substances. If you've been watching, you should know his doctor prescribed him psychedelics..
I'm giving away my age here, but back in late 1968 or early 1969, I took a purple barrel of an eight way hit of Purple Owsley Acid made by Owsley Stanley himself that was less than two days old. The ego death your talking about, this happened to me, in spades and this wasn't even close to my first experience with LSD. It was unbelievable and to this day, 55 years later, I can honestly say it was the most beautiful, spiritual and most profound experience I ever had in this lifetime. I literally can remember it like it was yesterday and it always makes me feel close to life in ways that are beyond language or even thought that is still with me today, 55 years after the fact! Thanks for sharing!
Welcome to drugs
@@Hhn945 *acid
How are you now after it all?
Don’t be ashamed to give away your age 🥰 age is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this experience, that is really beautiful. LSD has helped me feel that connection that you mention, and shrooms have helped me realize that things aren’t always so serious. Psychedelics are such great buddies to help stay sane, in a sometimes insane world!
@@hannahwillis9838 Thanks for the kind words, I'd just turned 19 around this time, it was an exciting time to be alive, a lot going on back those days for sure! Feel blessed. ((:
i guess my natural instinct is to not kill the vibe. because when I was going through an intense ego death experience on acid, I was laid up on the couch in the fetal position 100% certain that I was dying thinking I should definitely call an ambulance, but then I looked around at all my friends tripping and having an amazing time and was like no dude I'll just die I don't wanna ruin their fun with an ambulance lmao
Lmfao that sounds funny af
@@jackadam01 boy i laugh about it now but it was seriously beyond terrifying unable to put into words lol
That's terrifying, heck. I wish you had a well recovery after that ❤
😂😂😂😂😂
I once tried a weed for the first time before alcohol or nicotine and I inhaled three big hits or four and when I was standing my whole visual field turned into a green visual snow for a sec and I never felt so different so I sterted to panic and wanted to call an ambulance but then I knew we all would get into big troble so I just sat and waited for the drug to wer off
A mantra I've always held in my mind when going into a harsh come up is "It will all be waiting for you when you get back..."
That’s really good
Thanks! I didnt come up with it, the mushroom told me.
Similar to yours, mine is “let the drugs do their thing” yours seems a bit more philosophical tho
When I did salvia, my mind just went "Remember, if a tiger attacks you, it's probably not real".
What does that mean
My first mushroom trip when i was 17, we were outside all day. It was lovely. When we came back to my home we decided to hang out in the empty basement suit. Then my friend came down and she left and i went upstairs and it was the first time i was infront of a mirror. I cried because i felt so beautiful. Not in an egotistical way, like thats how "god" sees me. It was the first time i ever truly loved myself. To this day, i always love looking in the mirror.
I’ve done that before on e! That was the only time I saw myself as really really beautiful!! And no, it’s not in an egotistical way either
You know what is absolutely beautiful about this video, the tips you give in the first half on how to keep your experience from turning into a bad trip is extremely helpful for anxiety as well. With my panic disorder the whole premise is based on me feeling like I’m not in control and I’m losing my mind, and it is quite similar to an ego death trip in the sense that my mind thinks it is losing its touch with what I’m comfortable with and who I am, so I panic, but these tips are exactly how I’m trying to fight it. Letting go of everything you know and think you know, and becoming okay with the thought of losing your mind, letting whatever happens happen to you, is the absolute most powerful thing a person can learn and experience. Might I say the most terrifying thing, as I have to experience the feelings daily and nothing scares me more.
My heart hurt to read what you’re going through on a daily basis. I don’t know if you’ve ever called out to Jesus? I have, many times in my life, and there’s power in the name, even if you don’t believe. My prayer for you: Philippians 4:7
Trust the universe/God/Self ❤
I used to experience this daily for years. I found flooding and leaning into it and egging it on more stopped it really intensely. I couldn't imagine a day without several of these waves taking me out completely. Flooding the therapy, it worked for me. I feel what you said deeply.
Same here I'm currently trying to get off benzos for the first time in 15 years since I started the prescription 2 days in 3 days most I can get no matter what I tell myself and know I'm supposed to be ok it still starts to make my chest tight heart speed and breaks me down into being scared again I don't get it idk ended up taking another quarter pill idk feel pretty different like ego death compared to where I was before I started trying to stop
Since November I've had 3 significant trips that has given me everything I needed in my life. The first helped me grieve the death of my little brother, the second helped me with my relationship with my sons mother, and the third one gave me a path to take in life and the motivation to start moving on the path as well as the confidence to know that this is my path and I will succeed in the ways that I need to.
i watch you when im on psychedelic journeys, you always calm me. help me focus on the good and bring it back to myself. thank you adam, love your content.
Adam, once again you've taken 38 minutes away from my life; splendid story telling, my friend!
love this lol
Totally worth it!
Ong
It’s easy to watch something you can relate too.
As Donald Trump would say, "Sad.."
My main tactic when faced with overwhelming terror and confusion during a trip is to remind myself that it ends in a matter of hours. Time can mean absolutely nothing in that moment, but I recognize that the unwanted experience will end. Then I just surrender to observing my experience and not spinning out on the random anxieties that pester my negative trips.
Worst ego death I've ever experienced was when I stupidly thought I could get away with a quick DMT trip while waiting for the Acid to kick in. At first it was really cool but it instantly took a sharp turn when I obviously took too much acid. Got stuck in a loop that felt like it lasted centuries with only minutes passing, I would pass out and wake up over and over while it seemed like no time passed at all, the next part is the scariest experience of my life. I passed out again only to not wake up this time. It was darker than anything I've ever seen. I was aware I was there but it was the only thing I was aware of. I existed but at the same time I also didn't and I was aware of it. 100% killed my fear of death, as to me nothing will ever be scarier than existing in complete nothingness
sounds like you were thrust unprepared into the 7th jhana (of 8,) the samadhi of nothingness. from the buddha's description: ""With the complete transcending of the Sphere of Infinite Consciousness (the 6th jhana,) thinking, 'There is no-thing,' one enters and remains in the Sphere of No-thingness."
I've experienced this plane. And transcended it into full color, living the death of 3 past lives. Seen peices of their life, their death, and what they couldn't seen after. Also last night I experienced the realm of nothing, but it was something. The void turned into the darker colors and I experienced vision as if I was a camera, fixed on objects, jumping from thing to thing, focused on group of people that were on a journey and I followed them. And watched their numbers dwindle too just 2. And then as the dmt was hyping down to base level, they became aware of my presence, they smiled and faded back into the void.
Sounds like my experiences with 5-Meo-DMT. But instead of a dark void, it was this white noise. And it's not existence, because there is nothing else other than that white noise could contrast with. There was just a white noise. Forever. Then I was born back into reality, or something. Everything before that now feels like a dream I just can remember really well. Eternity sucks. When religious people promises me eternal life, I shake my head because they don't know what they're talking about.
Sounds like the womb of creation. Infinite potential from where everything springs
sounds like an overdose
I have experienced ego death twice. I was so glad I put sticky notes around the house telling me I was tripping and everything is good. Do not call anyone hahaha. I was alone.
I used to trip alone but I usually only do it with my gf now so I always kind of have an escape and just focus on cuddling or something. I find I don't get much out of it solo anymore it's way more useful when there's someone to talk to. Or I'll just end up laying staring at the ceiling for 5 hours lol.
@@pricklycats ohhhh man that's what I did last time lol I laid in my bed and tried to go to sleep listening to music but would just stare at the ceiling tripping balls. I still have those same mushrooms in my closet 6 months later and I haven't touched them.
Man your energy and storytelling was just top tier in this one
The eagle cry after accidentally saying "eagle death" made me laugh way too hard 🤣 11:56
it's bc r/drugscirclejerk makes fun of eagle deaths
@@nahfrfrfrfrfr shut up your eagle is probably cant even fly! na must stay jenkem for life
@@nahfrfrfrfrfr I actually remember the original post where someone accidentally typed "eagle death" lol probably from autocorrect or something
or they were just tripping balls
@@pricklycats Or all of the above, possible and impossible.
That feeling you get. All of us get it at one point or another if you prefer the higher dose journeys. It's that voice that says, "this is it, you've really gone and done it this time. You've finally taken it too far and now this is just life now"
i had that thought once on 600ug of needlepoint and laughed my ass off for about an hour, was great being mad and happy about it
@@RatkwadI've never gotten high from crochet before .... How long did it take?
Lol u sound just like me. I’m not happy until I’m scared lol
It’s the worst when you start to internally panic and start wondering how bad you’re about to freak, out and hoping you can hold it together 😂
Yeah. If you try to fight it it definitely gets a lot worse. Sometimes you just need to go with it and eventually each wave will pass.
@@z.s.7992 yeah exactly i do that with cannabis, i know it's weaker than psychedelics but god damn can it make you freak out hahah
@@starboiklem8381 Getting intensely high seems to be good practice for practicing how to let yourself go and just get carried away to where the drug wants to take you.
@@apothecurio yes indeed it is.
@@starboiklem8381 Thank you for solidifying that. I have yet to try any psyche's yet.
I just did a mushroom trip and completely relate to this. I actually thought I would induce a bad trip with the way I was thinking. I have been struggling with loving myself and deal with the misery of depression. I didnt know what would come of this trip, but to my surprise it was the best trip Ive ever had. Yes there was some bad parts where I looped and saw aliens, but I told myself that there had to be more than this and that mushrooms are suppose to make you be happy. After that I relaxed and let it take me on a roller coaster of happiness. All smiles and laughter. I lost my body and felt like I turned into a light that became one with whatever felt like a good vibration. Shit is crazy. I couldnt believe that I could be happy like that again. Now being normal and human again, I feel immensely humble. I may even start micro dosing.
yeah it tbh put me in a better mindset than I had been prior. May I ask how you saw aliens?
How many mg did you take?
@@roomueller7305 the first hour was the most intense part and I quite literally felt like the universe was fucking me. Passing me around to different dimensions... As I was warping I saw these 3 alien faces looking down at me like their faces were divided in sections? So it was like seeing a broken mirror and there was an alien on each shard. And they were huge and I was just an entity? Yes they were the typical ones youd see but more grey with a hint of green. Nothing more happened than that.... I just felt in that moment that everything was out of my control. They were just studying and watching my soul.
@@naomio.7503 I hadnt tripped in a few years prior to this, so this was almost like a new experience again. It's crazy bc I only took an eighth, 4 mg and it was the strongest shit. There were many caps in that batch.
I hardly ever get body sensations/"flashbacks" from others descriptions, but this was good.
Bravo 👏
Dude. I know this was supposed to be serious and all (and it indeed is), but this was so freaking hilarious. You're one hell of a psyched-storyteller. Thanks for sharing. It was awesome.
He is awesome 👌
You find yourself checking a channel everyday to see if a new vid has been put up and this is one and I love it every new video entertaining
This was one of the most entertaining and lesson rich storys you ever told!
I just wanted to say this video is fantastic. The editing is on point and made me laugh. I’m not done yet but sorry to hear you weren’t feeling great. Thank you for this!
Damn, following those thoughts is exhausting. Take refuge in pure awareness and let them all pass. Why energise more thoughts, even positive ones to the tornado of identification? A meditation practice is so important in these realms
Agreed!!
listen, you being apparently as strong and resilient as you are, you mentioning the takeaway of the trip being “see the good in things”, should be all you need to overcome your addiction. You quite literally conquered your mind when not even being close to controlling it. Just imagine what you can do when in control. Overcoming your addiction is just one of many things that you can and should do. Hope you see this and great video as always.
He’s talking about taking psychedelics, which can actually help to recover from addiction
@@phoenixschuman5770 not when you take them as much as this guy does
@@phoenixschuman5770 not in his case buddy
Tygo, very well stated
I'm addicted to your mom bro what should I do
Your take away should inspire us all. I’m consciously trying to resonate in a positive bandwidth these days also. Feels good
Big way to start 2023 Adam. We are rooting for you
Any time I've had a "challenging" time while on a psychedelic, I always tell myself that it always ends. I've never been in a bad place for long.
Exactly what I just posted. :) The trips always end eventually. Even if the whole thing was nightmarish it will stop. Then I can relax into my experience and move beyond the anxiety and terror. That's usually when I switch to a more positive facet of the trip.
totally agree. I had my first "bad" trip a week ago by accidentally taking way too much and just kept telling myself it will end eventually, nobody has ever died from too many mushrooms and just kept telling myself you're okay until I was able to calm back down. but man was that moment of panic/fear intense for awhile.
Puscifer is a perfect band for challenging trips imo. "Find a way, through, around, or over" walking the razors edge. Such beauty in these experiences.
This is why I don't trip with strangers in wierd environments. *Lots of people pointing out the splinter in Adam's eye while ignoring the log in their own. Why exactly are you watching this? It's 100% never been a channel on addiction or recovery.
Im making a Reddit post about something similar to this right now. People fail to see the humanity in people and minimize them down to a single phrase, action, word, day, whatever. Its like we fail to see the complexity of people and instead of realizing that something about them triggered you and trying to figure out why, we just bash them or judge them. I dont think we will continue to advance if we shame and judge
Unfortunately, there are a lot of miserable people. People who have never experienced true freedom, don't know peace, don't understand consciousness..... I've noticed a trend- People don't like it when others are enjoying life more than they are.
@@Noise_floorxx so true
@@lunaticzeroone i am sort of struggling to get the wording right. Its super long and I would like it to be shorter and more concise but I think maybe there's no way around it being long.
Agreed. I have 10 years of experience w psychedelics. I've researched and took precautions for each Substance as well as my body response to each one. This isn't an addiction or recovery channel. Seems to me all these individuals are projecting their fears and lack of self control. My last trip was 2 years ago and I'm planning one this year. Gonna make it a great one with meditation and full enhanced experience to move up to the next level of my spiritual development. As a Luciferian this is nothing more than a tool, how you use it is entirely your responsibility.
Dude I had the same "focus on the good" feeling after tripping on mushrooms. Like you, my experience was extremely challenging, but super rewarding also. I basically felt as if I'd exercised a muscle in my brain that filters out negative thoughts and I've become way less complainy because of it. It's so cool to hear a similar outcome!
definitely possible. I've depressed my whole life and the few weeks after my 4-ACO-DMT dose definitely felt like i was so much more free and both in control of my destiny and my mood.
You are so easy to listen to, been watching your videos for years! Keep up the hard work and struggle!
Hallmark of a heavy trip "Is this ever going to end?" "Will I ever be normal/ok again?". First time I ate 5g of dried psilocybin mushrooms I became an infant. Everything was new, I couldn't talk, I knew no language and I could barely move around on stable footing. I actually fell and hit my head and for a split second I had a moment of clarity but once the pain was gone I was shot right back to being an infant. I ended up taking some benzos to not panic and I regret it because my memory of such a beautiful experience is very blurred. It's an amazing ride to lose everything and be reborn.
Adam, it sounds like Jasmine had a trip much more similar to that of the other trippers. Not as intense. Is there a chance we could get a duo video where she shares some of her experience? Maybe a q/a with both of you?
youtube decided to give me this video right after i watched "i´m not okay" and its a rollercoaster of emotions, almost crying in one video to pure joyfull laughs at the other :D
Out of the near thousand trips I’ve had, only 2 were terror trips. When I was 16, I took 6 insanely potent electric koolaid tabs on no tolerance. I completely ceased to exist, almost like I’ve heard a 5-MEO trip is. The peak consisted of my entire life flashing before my eyes in a manner I can only describe as a movie reel before everything just went black in a way I can’t really remember. When I came to after the peak, I was in hell. I had this relentless urge as strong as the urge to vomit when sick to stab myself in the jugular. But I held out for 3 hours before I called my friend. He knew exactly what to say. In a matter of minutes, the relief took me from a hell trip to the most blissful heaven trip I’ve ever had.
Just curious, what kind of things did he say to help? I had a similar experience regarding the urge to stab myself and I'd like to know how to deal with those scary intrusive thoughts in the future
What did he say to you?
Great video sir! Had me on the edge of my seat, slowing my own breath & laughing out loud when you spoke about the lady with the crystals! You are an amazing storyteller! 🖤🙌
I had ego death a few times. I ate three hits of acid that ended up being way more potent than I had thought. I saw myself die a million ways a second it felt like. Things like having my hands cut off in a sawmill by being put on the actual saw. Having cops shoot through the door. Having a heart attack. Having the building I was on the seventh floor of bucking all around and falling out the window and crashing on the ground. Being shot into the sun....crazy shit. Then I was just gone...thoughts and language no longer existed...self was gone...I had no feelings....I was just viewing images that were extremely scary.
That’s not Ego death, that’s just disturbing visions.
@JKM what is ego death? From the description it definitely sounds like his ego died 💀💀💀 bro literally said "then I was just gone...self was gone"
@@jkm1059that’s definitely an ego death, when you’re that deep on such a high does of acid you have no comprehension of your reality in a solid way, i can’t put it into words. my last acid trip was 600ug and that shit will change your view on everything and you will latch onto whatever fear or questioning you’re going through
@@narvi5779 the psychonautwiki demystifies a lot about psychedelics if you need an explanation but basically high doses of psychedelics can completely supress your memory both short and long term so you have no access to them but are still generating new memories so you can remember what happened. As far as why it's called ego death, your ego, or who you are as a person is based on your memories, having no access to them will completely remove your self identity, combine that with the inability to tell where you end (in the metaphysical sense) and the environment begins and you get ego death
A 3g shroom trip had similar but I saw my brother dieing nothing I could do over and over gettyhit by a train then saw me dieing getting shot by cops getting stabbed by my next door neighbor homeless guy breaking in and beating me I stayed up that night thinking it was actually going to happen
I genuinely laughed a lot while watching this and I really needed that. I kept picturing you pacing back and forth, arms folded, shaking your head going "nope uh uh nope I did NOT sign up for no orgy" thank you for sharing this wonderful story and I'm glad you're ok
Totally reminds me of my very intense mushroom "horrortrip". Same kind of ego dissolution, same fears, been completely on my own, completely lost.... until ego had lost all it's power to fight.
From my experience the key is not looking forward to something, it's letting go and be ready to face whatever follows, and to die.
MUCH more easy said than done, because eternity in this hell feels so real.
But that was what instantly changed my trip to an "enlightenment" experience.
Think this is what you are chasing Adam.
Ultimately it's not about having a joyful trip, but about "coming" home and total clarity.
how much did you take ??
same thing happened to me. It also made my "psychic" abilities far stronger to the point I could nearly control it. I've had normal precognition here or there fairly often but just glimpses. Mushrooms allowed me to literally predict a lot of things before they happened, even helped me make decent money sports betting lol.
@@deecomposed Not that much, 2g dried cubensis.
Was much more intense than expected from 2g.
Was my second trip, more than 25 years ago.
There is a Sanskrit saying: "Yad Bhavam Tad Bhavati".
It means: "You are what you believe."
It also means: "You become as you think."
I needed to hear the advice you gave about being positive. Thank you. We can breathe through anything.
you are such a wonderful storyteller i could sit and listen to you talk about anything honestly. thank u for sharing your experience xox
i almost had an ego death but i didn’t take anything i was just going through extreme anxiety/spiritual experiences, like going crazy but at the same time i knew i wasn’t crazy, hallucinations and everything. At one point i felt like i was physically and mentally dying like i was gonna rest or be liberated from my ego /pass out , but then my mind took over and started thinking “you’re dying “ fear took over for a second , then i was okay with dying because i was going through extreme suffering , but i got an out of this world fear that i was going to die and go to hell , so that’s when my ego fought to stay alive . i still wonder what would be if i actually had an ego death , i was ready to die but i wasn’t ready to die and live in hell for eternity lol
My uncle took me to the Native American Church about 20 years ago. It was the second time for ne but this time was special because someone had fresh green peyote buttons rather than paste and tea made from dried peyote. I ate two whole cacti which is a task in itself, went through the nasueating come up and threw up in front of myself while sitting cross legged. Someone was tasked with collecting everones vomit, they put dirt in it to solidify it. The naseua faded and it became very euphoric. At some point i started a telepathuc conversation with a women sitting across from me and a bit left of the center fire. We talked and talked as if it was normal to comunicate in that way, before we ended our talk i was wise and scientifically minded enough to realize i needed some tyoe of confirmation that this isnt just a hallucunation so i telepathically said to her " if this is real please come up to me in the gathering at the end of the cerimony, come within inches of my face and stare in my eyes" The cerimony went on hours and hours many more miracles and phenomenon occured and i had deep visions and interesting closed eye visuals of smoke dancing. At the end gathering and feast the woman came up to me and dud exactly as we had agreed. As her face nearly touched mine and she looked in my eyes i just smiled but actually i was a bit confused, at that moment i had completely forgotten about our psychic talk and agreement to confirm it due to all the other amazing occurences that followed it. It wasnt until the car ride home that i remnembered our delightful telepathic talk. I'm an extremely skeptikal person but after about 25 years of pschedelic use i've witnessed enough telepathy, telekenesis and just all around miracles while in groups or by myself when pschedelics were involved to know for a personal fact ( if you will ) that there is a real phenomenon going on. I hope by some chance that the woman at the peyote cerimony happens upon this message
Adam you ended this with the best advice for ALL psychonauts deserves an Oscar Nomination😅
Also I struggle and hope that psychedelics will eventually break my many other addictions. Still struggling through the trauma and integrating it all. I hope to god one of these near future psychedelic journeys leave me on my path addiction free!
having strangers interfering with your experience sounds like the least enjoyable thing i can imagine.
as someone who can no longer do psychedelics (schizoaffective) i find solace in your videos so tyvm for continuing to make content 😊
Cannabis induced psychosis here. Really miss psychedelics. Also miss my own Dexedrine prescription, unfortunately I abused it. Dexedrine post acute withdrawal was the main reason I started smoking.
I'm diagnosed differentiated schizophrenia, 5 personality disorders, chronic panic attacks and major depression. The only medication that has helped with the least side effects have been psychedelics. Not everyone's vibe for sure, but for me this type of experience has been more effective than benzos or antipsychotics
Ego death is such a chase the dragon type thing tho. Maybe not as fast but the ego always comes back. There will always be a new problem.
This is exactly how I felt when I took an eighth of some crazy mushrooms on an empty stomache at age 15- I went into the trip asking to see the truth.
I didn't know who I was or what anything was- no concept of anything, no concept of concept even - extreme fear- remember thinking if I never existed, how can I be dying? What is death? What is a dream? Who is I?
It seemed like it was never going to end, behind my eyelids I had intense vibrant moving fractals- I felt like I was in the in-between- not here nor there.
When I came out of it it was the biggest relief and the most grateful I was to just be.
Ever since that first crazy intro to psychedelics I am careful and micro dose
I can't imagine what this is like, I did the same thing at 15 but maybe ate a gram or 2 and it was the most intense moment of my life, but it wasn't "nothing" I was just flying around 3d geometry at roller coaster speeds feeling overwhelming emotions and confusion. I can't believe some 15 year olds go in doing 5 grams for their first time. Absolutely insane
@@narvi5779 right? My friend took 5 grams at that age and said it was an amazing trip, I wonder if I had taken more if I would've just been fully immersed and less terrified- like Terence McKenna says
Because I truly didn't know who I was anymore, and I was not expecting or trained on ego death which made it more intense for sure
It's definitely impacted me
@@narvi5779 I've had mushrooms where 2 grams felt like 4 grams on weaker shrooms. Not all mushrooms are equal. Which is why I prefer synthetic psychedelics because mushrooms are hard to dose properly (not to mention the uncomfortable stomach feeling you can get from eating mushrooms).
@@dashagazo8508 You probably just had super strong mushrooms. I had some one time a long time ago that blew everything else out of the water, you could trip decently hard off like 1 gram. And I wasn't new to drugs at that point my less experienced friends had to take like half a gram lol
@@dashagazo8508 I took like 1.5g and there were literally letters floating off of pages when I was trying to read it was insane
On psychs, other people that I don't know ALWAYS feel off, either if they're tripping or if they're really nice, they still feel off. And there's nothing to do about it so having alot of random people around you just feels like a really weird experience.
"im getting rid of his addiction" HELP ME
Will pray turn to the Lord
Did you get off the drugs?
Hey Adam, I love listening to your trips because they remind me of epilepsy. I know this sounds crazy but I'm one of those epileptic people who actually retain all of my memories from when I have seizures. Most people don't have any memories at all ages it's like they just have black outs. For years it was always terrifying for me mainly because of the visual hallucinations and not being able to control "myself" even though most of the time I don't even know I am a "self". The forgetting to breath or thinking I'm not breathing is the most terrifying. A couple of years ago I discovered your channel and other channels like yours. After listening to many testimonials, I began to draw a connection between my epilepsy trips and psychedelic trip reports. So many times I've left my body, observed my body from outside of my body, entered into different dimensions, traveled the entire cosmos, met Jesus plenty of times, many many geometric patterns and entities who have helped me lose my ego and guided me. Even though I've done several psychedelics in my youth I can honestly say that my favorite trips NOW are when I have seizures. I used to hate them and spent my whole entire adult life, hiding the fact that I have epilepsy from everyone. Now I 100% love my "super power" because I have something to compare it to and I get to have trips almost nightly without ever paying a dime. 😂 I used to be really really scared to talk about my seizures and what I've seen and experienced especially when it came to my hallucinations. Of course my biggest fear was always being afraid of someone thinking I'm insane because of mental illness taboo or that people just wouldn't believe me or understand my experiences. Since being able to open up about it, I have now encountered many others who have epilepsy who experience it the same way or similarly to the way I do. I really need to open up more about it on my channel.
6:50 To answer your reasoning for being at the ceremony "to gain insight about your addiction personality" you just have to listen to yourself at 3:00 "I was of the mind that if you don't take a monster dose, nothing is gonna happen" I think that's all the insight you need for your addiction personality bro.
Ego is identification with the thought in the head as you!!! Spiritual awakening is when you realize there’s a inner voice always talking at you and subsequently, you shift back into our natural state, it’s the unconditioned presence. It’s bliss, peace, love and joy!
You exist before the thought.
And btw you are very funny!!
U helped me and friends safely navigate psyches thanks mr substance
"the deeper you go you the less you remember you're having a trip" this sentence summaries what I experienced on my terrifying first mushroom trip
It’s honestly so hard to have a weird thought and fight that urge to make it like reality while tripping anyone else feel that or just me?
I get that too🤣 I also get the feeling when I'm tripping on shrooms that I fell asleep and I'm in a lucid dream but I'm actually awake 🤣 it's so crazy but I honestly don't mind it, it makes me feel like I don't have to take things as seriously because I think I'm dreaming 🤣
ADAM OUT THERE VOYAGING TO THE SHADOW REALM! LFG MY GUY!!!!!
Adam this is my favourite story you’ve ever told and I’ve been following you since 2016 😂
I used to grow Bolivian torch. Like San Pedro it's legal to grow in the states. At the time, I didn't know it was psychoactive. Had a buddy who let me know so I let him take a cactus and took one myself. His was maybe a foot and a half long. I took a three footer. We prepared them, took some vacation time. And went camping. Like you said. It was hands down the most vile thing I've ever consumed. It was liquid, yet slime, smooth and somehow kind of chunky. So like you we decided it would be best to just man up and chug our drinks. I remember getting real nauseas and feeling like I drank too much. Got light headed, got the spins. Tried to sit down to compose myself and as soon as I had the thought that I was good, I started throwing up. Each heave things got more and more intense. Until finally I chucked and everything started constantly changing colors and then it became very kaleidoscopopic. I remember laying down watching clouds emanate from the sun. Decided to close my eyes and was immediately taken from my body, felt like I was sinking into the ground and when I stopped I could see the entirety of the forest through electrical connections. I saw through the plants. Felt all the insects and deer, and bears and other animals walking. Around on me. Felt the intensity of the wind through the awareness of the entire forest. It was my first out of two mescaline experiences. The second I took less, and ended up playing duck duck goose with the rock formations at goblin valley. Never done dmt. But out of the psychedelics I have done. Mescaline is hands down my favorite
The chaos loop is how I've described it. Like static tv in color and eyeballs and all you can do is focus on one sound, mental image, sense or idea that just gets played over and over times seemingly infinity as you are stuck in chaos. Then you give up and after that you realize you are able to link 2 ideas or whatever, then 3, then more as reality starts to come back as the drug wears off. Then after the trip is over you can't shake this nagging feeling that maybe discipline and order is a good way to get through the chaotic nature of life cause after all it was order that saved you from that chaos, (or at least perhaps maybe I shouldn't knock it).
I have not had mesc since the 90s,It was amazing!
Been doing a lot of research on mescaline and San Pedro/Wachuma recently planning for my first mescaline trip so this video is very timely for me.
Research the spelling...
We understand what he is trying to say. No need to correct such a simple mistake...
i had a ego death experience at lala… i reverted to talking like a child.. aging backwards i returned to normal after words but it took weeks maybe years to feel the same as before
The final 2 or 3 minutes made the rest worth it. Those take aways about "what you're focusing on" in life, in your trip are very important realizations
Wasn’t he just talking about how his drug use was out of control again , yet it hasn’t seemed to slow down since ?
@@Sp_acecowboy idek , not tryna hate on him, just conceded a little bit
you describe so freaking perfectly how it feels when reality just becomes a whole questionmark and you don't know shit, i love it
yes everything right you said...till you lost someone you love
His problem is that he is addicted yo these drugs
His problem is that he is addicted to these drugs
That's a great lesson- every positive thought leads to more positivity... I try to remain optimistic at every moment of my life indefinitely, but I often forget to redirect negative thoughts, which I should because if I don't then it will lead to more negativity. Great story 😄
Those 3 things don't just get you past psychedelic experiences, they get you past all overreaction to emotion.
Going through this terrifying seemingly never ending mental and physical torture and then coming up with an epiphany /personal-growth meaning to it, that most people realise while being completely sober and healthy (and which also washes away next time real life hits you again) shows the behaviour of lot of drug/psychedelic addicts who are not really dealing with their issues, but find new ways of getting high . I really hope this story makes people realise how these experiences are damaging rather than healing. Wanting the biggest dose you can get is a sign you just want to get super high, not "heal" or deal with your ego. It's sad, but you did tell the story in a funny way, you have a nice skill there. Best of luck overcoming your troubles.
I can REALLY appreciate this experience story telling. ESPECIALLY the last 5 minutes because i relate to that so hard. I have been personality tested and was the ONLY one who was positive arrogant lol.
We always know but need to learn/experience it for ourselves anyways.
Wow, love the part where you talk about dealing with fear by looking forward to something pleaswant. Brilliant
Great video! I really love these story time videos, it’s always so interesting to listen to you
Agreed 👌
Control is an illusion. Love is a constant.
Adam I've been following you for years now, and although I have not brought myself to the point of physical brawn as you have in recent years, I always enjoy living vicariously through the stories of your experiences. It makes me feel inspired that you have and continue to put yourself on camera to do some of these things. I get that you're doing this for information and harm-reduction, but there's something about getting serious about psychedelics that's always made me feel apprehensive.
Though with the coming of increasingly decriminalized psilocybin, I'm sure we will see other compounds follow suit. Sometimes I wish I knew more people... I love my friends but the rest of this town is either drunk or on crack, smack, dope, or meth...
I’m also a mirror lover. It feels like you cannot escape and it’s facing everything head on.
To me the best part of a trip is the self discovery that happens when I'm exploring the world around me like a child that just learned to walk. Me looking at my environment around me helps me keep negativity at bay. Being outside in nature or in a cozy home with lots of character and things to look at with great music and good people is all I need to feel secure safe and look at the world in all its glory.
I have also experienced the lack of needing to breathe. It was like wow I guess I don't need to breathe now, then I got up to go to the bathroom and I passed out
Yay a new Adam video! You actually make my day so much better whenever I see new content from you
Cacti led me to slow down and eventually stop tripping completely. The experience hit in a way that stuck and didn't leave me wanting more.
Damn thats one of the best stories of your channel.
I wish I was in the same room doing this trip along with you. I am the same bro, I would have said I’m here for my addiction personally issue, I’m very rebellious and we would have shared the best trip together. Thanks for your honest and one of the best reviews of any psychedelic experience I’ve seen! Much respect!
So you learned that you need something to look forward to. Maybe you need this in life too and your tendency to addict manifests as an attempt to fill a hole created by an absence of meaning in life, that is exactly the kind of thing i mean by meaning. The storyline of your life, short and long term is crucial in determining your happiness. Terrence might say “are you the hero of your own story adam?” Expand your conception of possibility through spiritual contemplation and you might just end up re-directing all this energy away from this nihilistic action plan of addiction and wasted potential and towards a path of being truly alive, in alignment with all you know god would approve of if he did exist, which he might.
the key is actually to let go. the one thing that causes fear, is the things that you are holding on to. the beautiful thing is that letting go of the things you care about doesnt cause them to disappear. the truth is that you are not the one holding the universe in place.
lmao. perfect it is mentioned a minute after where i was
Adam , I felt like I was going through the trip with you , the fear part , the ego dissolution , the terror , my god it brought me back to my bad trip . But I do have to say , the last part was the best when you talked about choosing to see the good 👍, I’ve since decided to chill on this route for a bit and instead rely on faith and spirit to guide me towards healing and a breakthrough without the use of these substances although I am grateful for them . They Propelled me towards seeking the truth of my being .
Sorry, I know your comment is 3 months old but I just wanted to wish you well in your journey with your faith. The only times I've ever been anywhere close to happy sober in a long time wet when my faith was solid and I was clean. I relapsed and I'm back in a bad pattern but knowing its possible to return there if I work on my own trauma and try improve myself with the aim of being who my god wants me to be and can use to help others.
Tldr, good luck and stay strong, loving (to yourself and those around you) and faithful and you'll do great moving forward :). I wish you all the best for the future 🙏.
2:08 -> 2:15 ... exactly.
your Audience is attracted by this tone. Planning, structuring sitting back and giving yourself a second (Scripting) the video enchances the percieved quailty of your video.
TL/DR: Adam is a pro at descriptive storytelling, particularly with regard to psychedelic experiences.
About 23 mins into this video, after two years of enjoying Adam's content, I am now finally realizing why I like it (and him) so much: Adam has the rare linguistic ability to storytell AND describe what fellow experienced psychonauts such as ourselves have only heretofore been able to hint at; Adam distills the essence of what it is like to perceive and interpret a world before one has even comprehended any given language. Right at 22:30 in this video he NAILS it. Adam is able to describe WITH WORDS what it is like to perceive the world without the knowledge or comprehension OF words. This, and his ability to recall are both amazing and exceedingly rare talents.
On one of the most intense mushroom strains out there (PE Melmac) and one of my highest dosages I had the same thing described at 32:00 . It’s like u could understands someone’s ego,intentions, energy. I was looking at people not tripping as they were a walking version of their ego, which is kinda what we are.
Top tier editing lmao
I took a 4.5g dose of shrooms the other day and ended up having a bad trip due to my phone dying and losing contact with my friend, I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up I couldn't even remember my name for the first 20 seconds, I thought I had died at first. It took me like 20 minutes to remember everything. Wasn't too bad though because I slept through most of it.
I love how these experiences show us how big of an asshole we really are, and we have to throttle that shit back man
The brain is an extremely advanced pattern and edge detection machine, and psychedelics basically force your brain back into that baby phase where you're learning things for the first time. Like when you see a picture upside down and theres a split second where you have not a fecking *clue* what the hell you're looking at, until you see a shape you recognise then suddenly the whole image snaps into place.
I started laughing so hard after 21:00... Just too relatable 😅🤣😭
Correction: cry laughing after 24:30 because it is too relatable. I'm the kind of person that laughs when they are extremely uncomfortable 🥹 you are very good at describing your experiences... That anime comparison 😂😂😂
The hat choice paired with the background was genius... I'm sober as a mormon and was almost convinced I was tripping after 4 mins. Half of your head was missing. Lol
You and of herb and altars are my favorite story tellers. Hell Adam you should watch her channel!!!!
the way you described the lady handing you some crystals made me choke on my drink. So funny
This is so absolutely relateable from a couple of my experiences! Lol, appointment #2 of 6 in ketamine therapy completely broke me into cells I thought I wouldn't get back into my body 🚀
Thank you so much! F'ing hilarious! I so relate to the "if I move a single muscle I'm going to projectile vomit!" Peyote buttons was the culprit! lol! Much respect.
Eagle death lmao 🦅
My eyes light up when I see a new video uploaded 😭 love this man