So on to it, my experience with sociopathic family members descends down through the family history & probably has a mix of other things that I can't think of using flash words but basically it's to do with paedophilia religions & sociopathic dah blah blah, listening to you is simply inspiring & learning str8 off the mark, nga mihi Tāmara you are Blessed 👊🏽☮️🔥
Happy to hear your clarification eventually on non-conformity. There are two sides to it in my opinion; one could attempt to hold oneself to a higher standard than average, or one could let oneself abandon standards and not conform that way too. Fortunately we're getting better at adding these critical caveats these days in psychology. I actually reacted to someone I know with sociopathy when he would describe himself as a rebel, because that's exactly the way I would describe myself as well, and yet we are completely different. His rebellion is infantile, mine imbued with meaning and good will. I also found the psychoticism-angle fascinating and refreshing, not many talk about that in the context of cluster B disorders. All the best, Tamara.
Sociopaths can come across as very confident but don't have the skills 🤣 omg I knew someone like this. It was so unsettling watching them lie so much about skills they didn't possess
Both of my parents are narcissistic, but I am afraid that my sister may show some signs of sociopathy. The coldness, the lack of facial expression, the lack of emotions... She is four years younger than me, but there were times when I felt very uneasy just by looking at her face. She saw our mother abusing me and her face was without any emotion. Nothing. She did not intervene, never reached afterwards. She was 20+ already. Sometimes, I feel like she would be able to kill a person to gain something she wants. She constantly competes with me and hates my success. She is mean to me and act superior. Talk to me like she was my abusive mother - mentors me eg. Shut up, when you are eating! You are disgusting. Do not talk with a fool mouth! (My parents were present many times to this behavior and never did anything. She is mother´s golden child.) On the other hand - she sent some blankets and money to an animal shelter in poor Romania. I never seen her to be cuddly to any animal, though. We were raised having cats and dogs and she did take care of them - fed them, walked them, but I barely saw her to be affectionate to them. She hated when I was, which was all the time, cause I was missing physical and emotional love/attention from my narc parents. Im so confused about her. Whenever I tried to confront her behavior, she called me abusive and left the chat/room. Whenever I took any of my cats in my hands to cuddle them - she would be like "leave them alone! stop bothering them!" :O My cats!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't understand how any sibling could be like this. When my stepfather was beating the crap out of my older brother I think I cried more than he did and to this day I probably dislike my stepfather more for the crap that he did to my family then that he did to me.
Imagine a young boy, like 5. He spent his first few years living with both parents. By age 5, he was sent to live with his father, along with his older brother. His parents had divorced. At age 5, when he got off the plane to greet his father, his little teddy bear was snatched out of his hand and never given back. His father was remarried, and strict to the point of abuse. Today, that 5 year old is in his mid 50's. He tells people what they want to hear. Smiles and laughs with them only if he needs something from them. He judges everyone with negative lenses. He will let a sibling be homeless before helping financially. Even if the sibling is capable of paying back. He was told by his abusive father to never give others your money, yet loaned is father $10k for a 2nd divorce. What do you think this person suffers from? He's totally cold hearted. Will easily cut a sibling off if in any type of need.
This is such a difficult question because, clinically, I would need to see him, learn his personality, talk to him, etc. But we could say that he is a sociopath with a trauma history that tarnished his ability to relate to people in a healthy way. There is no ability to relate to others in a genuine fashion. There's so many labels we could apply to this!
This is very informative. I think my dad is a sociopath and I just recently was made aware by my new therapist that it sounds like he has some sociopathic tendencies at least. I am trauma bonded to him and I'm trying to break free from that and see who he really is. Ig everything he does is just for money and to care of his well being. I haven't had the best health and haven't been able to provide for myself so far in life, I'm 23, and I ended up living with him and his partner for about 5 years. Now I'm trying to find a better job that's not part time and take care if my health so I can provide for myself and get out if this confusing and hurtful situation.
Thank you! Glad you found this helpful. It's so hard to detach yourself from someone who plays a major role in our lives -- a parent. You may find the book Bonded To The Abuser helpful in the process.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Yeah, my therapist says I have alot of blind spots with him so I'm trying to document and see patterns of the abuse. Thank you for the recommendation I will look into that!
I'm sorry to hear this I can totally relate. It is very confusing I'm kind of wondering if what my family has been putting me through at the hardest worst time in my life as they sit there and watch me in pain and Agony and tears has to do with them wanting some kind of inheritance or maybe trying to have me committed so they can have money and my children Scott free I'm not sure but that is the kind of family that I'm dealing with so I completely understand
Can/would a sociopath harm/kill an animal? My mother has had some very unfortunate animal deaths 😞... one I know was absolutely deliberate. She tied a (my) dog to a tree and lef her there until weeks later I went to the farm to find her. (She lived by the way). Yet another dog (hers) died, I found different pieces of the dog around the house(outside).. She say the dog died and she buried the dog, says wild animals must have dug it up.... to the most recent, her cat died. Said she couldn't find the cat for weeks.. I ultimately found the cat curled up in a box on her hot florida patio dead. This absolutely boggles my mind as she has has social workers and her doctor (infront of me) test her for dementia and each time she passes. They even say her memory is better than most! Yet she says she forgets everything 🙄....highly manipulative, paranoia has always been a constant with her. Everyone is after her precious money or things ...
I'm sorry to say it, but yes. Sociopaths may not necessarily target animals but psychopaths -- who have a deep need for risk, stimulation, and control -- may attempt this. From the sounds of the examples you give us she is/was not okay. These behaviors are definitely antisocial and could trigger a clinical diagnosis of some sort if she ever saw a psychotherapist/psychologist. I'm sorry you have had to witness these things. Very disturbing.
I really enjoyed this video, Tamara. I listen to your videos while I'm doing my stretches, or getting ready to go out. My mother is a psychopath for sure, and I've had so much daily grief over the way she treated me, in particular. It has been so damaging to have been her personal scapegoat child, post-facial disfiguration and brain damage due to a car crash I was in, at the age of 7. She hated me for making her look bad, and continued to mentally and verbally punish me for ruining her life. She even took my father from me, and left me to raise myself. She refused to allow me to speak to my father, or sit beside him unless she was present. My 5 other siblings still made her look good in the public eye, until one of my brothers developed schizoaffective disorder in his 20s. She told him a few years back, that she didn't know if she even loved him due to all of his problems. She ultimately thinks that love can only be earned. My brother and I, due to no fault of our own, were undeserving of love or attention. I was her ultimate target though, due to her romantic jealousy. She insisted on being my father's 'favourite' girl, and his only love. She even addressed him as Dad, some time after I left home.
Thank you! I'm glad this video was helpful. I do the same thing -- work out or stretch to youtube videos. It's truly therapeutic. And I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's truly a traumatic road you have been on. This mother needed more help, so it appears, than everyone else. She sounds very narcissistic and immature as a person and as a mother. I'm praying for your peace.
I have a question relating to how extremist racist ideology fits in with ideas about mental illness? I am talking about those who actively think and believe in racial supremacy and that there is a race war, with fears of "their land" being "taken over"? People who cannot accept diversity of any kind and have every kind of phobic views, whether it's race, religion, culture, gender, sexuality, age, disability etc. I aask because I suspected somebody I knew was racist. He then went into a full on rant about "his country being taken over" (UK) and he could not consider his views to be based on stereotypes that were never true in the first place. It almost seemed psychotic.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Ive found that no matter how much empathy you show them, even pointing it out to them: you will not be repaid in kind when you need them nor will you even get a sincere thanks. I've never seen anything like it and this is quite a few close ppl I know as well as coworkers. Our society is enabling this behavior too unfortunately. Individualism, which causes isolationism.
@@RadAngelDMV that’s a rather interesting point of view based on your personal observations, what way would you approach to solve this afflictive social dilemma? Less individualism and more rules, more obedience? Maybe a curfew of based etiquette rules, kinda like commandments to live by?
The LIVE CHAT will be available from RUclips within 12 hours of this live chat. That's ALWAYS the best part!
So on to it, my experience with sociopathic family members descends down through the family history & probably has a mix of other things that I can't think of using flash words but basically it's to do with paedophilia religions & sociopathic dah blah blah, listening to you is simply inspiring & learning str8 off the mark, nga mihi Tāmara you are Blessed 👊🏽☮️🔥
Happy to hear your clarification eventually on non-conformity. There are two sides to it in my opinion; one could attempt to hold oneself to a higher standard than average, or one could let oneself abandon standards and not conform that way too. Fortunately we're getting better at adding these critical caveats these days in psychology. I actually reacted to someone I know with sociopathy when he would describe himself as a rebel, because that's exactly the way I would describe myself as well, and yet we are completely different. His rebellion is infantile, mine imbued with meaning and good will. I also found the psychoticism-angle fascinating and refreshing, not many talk about that in the context of cluster B disorders.
All the best, Tamara.
Sociopaths can come across as very confident but don't have the skills 🤣 omg I knew someone like this. It was so unsettling watching them lie so much about skills they didn't possess
Both of my parents are narcissistic, but I am afraid that my sister may show some signs of sociopathy. The coldness, the lack of facial expression, the lack of emotions... She is four years younger than me, but there were times when I felt very uneasy just by looking at her face.
She saw our mother abusing me and her face was without any emotion. Nothing. She did not intervene, never reached afterwards. She was 20+ already. Sometimes, I feel like she would be able to kill a person to gain something she wants. She constantly competes with me and hates my success.
She is mean to me and act superior. Talk to me like she was my abusive mother - mentors me eg. Shut up, when you are eating! You are disgusting. Do not talk with a fool mouth! (My parents were present many times to this behavior and never did anything. She is mother´s golden child.)
On the other hand - she sent some blankets and money to an animal shelter in poor Romania. I never seen her to be cuddly to any animal, though. We were raised having cats and dogs and she did take care of them - fed them, walked them, but I barely saw her to be affectionate to them. She hated when I was, which was all the time, cause I was missing physical and emotional love/attention from my narc parents. Im so confused about her. Whenever I tried to confront her behavior, she called me abusive and left the chat/room. Whenever I took any of my cats in my hands to cuddle them - she would be like "leave them alone! stop bothering them!" :O My cats!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't understand how any sibling could be like this. When my stepfather was beating the crap out of my older brother I think I cried more than he did and to this day I probably dislike my stepfather more for the crap that he did to my family then that he did to me.
Geesh I can think of so many family members that are sociopaths.
😢
Imagine a young boy, like 5. He spent his first few years living with both parents. By age 5, he was sent to live with his father, along with his older brother. His parents had divorced. At age 5, when he got off the plane to greet his father, his little teddy bear was snatched out of his hand and never given back. His father was remarried, and strict to the point of abuse. Today, that 5 year old is in his mid 50's. He tells people what they want to hear. Smiles and laughs with them only if he needs something from them. He judges everyone with negative lenses. He will let a sibling be homeless before helping financially. Even if the sibling is capable of paying back. He was told by his abusive father to never give others your money, yet loaned is father $10k for a 2nd divorce. What do you think this person suffers from? He's totally cold hearted. Will easily cut a sibling off if in any type of need.
This is such a difficult question because, clinically, I would need to see him, learn his personality, talk to him, etc. But we could say that he is a sociopath with a trauma history that tarnished his ability to relate to people in a healthy way. There is no ability to relate to others in a genuine fashion. There's so many labels we could apply to this!
@@TherapistTamaraHill thank you for giving me some sort of direction. I'm perplexed over his manipulation and ability to pretend he cares.
Yes, you're welcome! This stuff is complicated indeed.
This is very informative. I think my dad is a sociopath and I just recently was made aware by my new therapist that it sounds like he has some sociopathic tendencies at least. I am trauma bonded to him and I'm trying to break free from that and see who he really is. Ig everything he does is just for money and to care of his well being. I haven't had the best health and haven't been able to provide for myself so far in life, I'm 23, and I ended up living with him and his partner for about 5 years. Now I'm trying to find a better job that's not part time and take care if my health so I can provide for myself and get out if this confusing and hurtful situation.
Thank you! Glad you found this helpful.
It's so hard to detach yourself from someone who plays a major role in our lives -- a parent.
You may find the book Bonded To The Abuser helpful in the process.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Yeah, my therapist says I have alot of blind spots with him so I'm trying to document and see patterns of the abuse. Thank you for the recommendation I will look into that!
I'm sorry to hear this I can totally relate. It is very confusing I'm kind of wondering if what my family has been putting me through at the hardest worst time in my life as they sit there and watch me in pain and Agony and tears has to do with them wanting some kind of inheritance or maybe trying to have me committed so they can have money and my children Scott free I'm not sure but that is the kind of family that I'm dealing with so I completely understand
@Tara Arrington Jesus. No one should have to deal with shit like any of this. Lol. I hope all works well for you. Stay strong!
Can/would a sociopath harm/kill an animal? My mother has had some very unfortunate animal deaths 😞... one I know was absolutely deliberate. She tied a (my) dog to a tree and lef her there until weeks later I went to the farm to find her. (She lived by the way). Yet another dog (hers) died, I found different pieces of the dog around the house(outside).. She say the dog died and she buried the dog, says wild animals must have dug it up.... to the most recent, her cat died. Said she couldn't find the cat for weeks.. I ultimately found the cat curled up in a box on her hot florida patio dead. This absolutely boggles my mind as she has has social workers and her doctor (infront of me) test her for dementia and each time she passes. They even say her memory is better than most! Yet she says she forgets everything 🙄....highly manipulative, paranoia has always been a constant with her. Everyone is after her precious money or things ...
I'm sorry to say it, but yes. Sociopaths may not necessarily target animals but psychopaths -- who have a deep need for risk, stimulation, and control -- may attempt this. From the sounds of the examples you give us she is/was not okay. These behaviors are definitely antisocial and could trigger a clinical diagnosis of some sort if she ever saw a psychotherapist/psychologist. I'm sorry you have had to witness these things. Very disturbing.
I really enjoyed this video, Tamara. I listen to your videos while I'm doing my stretches, or getting ready to go out. My mother is a psychopath for sure, and I've had so much daily grief over the way she treated me, in particular. It has been so damaging to have been her personal scapegoat child, post-facial disfiguration and brain damage due to a car crash I was in, at the age of 7. She hated me for making her look bad, and continued to mentally and verbally punish me for ruining her life. She even took my father from me, and left me to raise myself. She refused to allow me to speak to my father, or sit beside him unless she was present. My 5 other siblings still made her look good in the public eye, until one of my brothers developed schizoaffective disorder in his 20s. She told him a few years back, that she didn't know if she even loved him due to all of his problems. She ultimately thinks that love can only be earned. My brother and I, due to no fault of our own, were undeserving of love or attention. I was her ultimate target though, due to her romantic jealousy. She insisted on being my father's 'favourite' girl, and his only love. She even addressed him as Dad, some time after I left home.
Thank you! I'm glad this video was helpful. I do the same thing -- work out or stretch to youtube videos. It's truly therapeutic.
And I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's truly a traumatic road you have been on. This mother needed more help, so it appears, than everyone else. She sounds very narcissistic and immature as a person and as a mother. I'm praying for your peace.
Huge ((( hugs))) to you.. it seems so many have a dysfunctional parent(s)..... so many on the road to healing and trying to figure it all out...
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank-you so much, for your kind words Tamara.
❤
Sounds like all the remaining members of my family.
😔
Same.
Grace & Peace, happy to be back
Yes! Glad to have you back. :)
T.H. ❤
I have a question relating to how extremist racist ideology fits in with ideas about mental illness? I am talking about those who actively think and believe in racial supremacy and that there is a race war, with fears of "their land" being "taken over"? People who cannot accept diversity of any kind and have every kind of phobic views, whether it's race, religion, culture, gender, sexuality, age, disability etc.
I aask because I suspected somebody I knew was racist. He then went into a full on rant about "his country being taken over" (UK) and he could not consider his views to be based on stereotypes that were never true in the first place. It almost seemed psychotic.
Is it possible to give a sociopathic person a taste of empathy?
Good question! I don't think so. They just simply can't function like "normal" people. They are built differently.
@@TherapistTamaraHill built different like the song by two chains “I’m different” 🫣
🙈🙊
@@TherapistTamaraHill Ive found that no matter how much empathy you show them, even pointing it out to them: you will not be repaid in kind when you need them nor will you even get a sincere thanks. I've never seen anything like it and this is quite a few close ppl I know as well as coworkers. Our society is enabling this behavior too unfortunately. Individualism, which causes isolationism.
@@RadAngelDMV that’s a rather interesting point of view based on your personal observations, what way would you approach to solve this afflictive social dilemma? Less individualism and more rules, more obedience? Maybe a curfew of based etiquette rules, kinda like commandments to live by?