You have no idea how strongly I feel about the people who are putting all of their resources into 'curing' autism. I will keep fighting for better awareness and understanding about how powerful the contribution from people on the spectrum is. We need you guys and in the words of Temple Grandin “What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool? You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.” I rest my case!
There is a lot going on behind the scenes that I'm working on with numerous other people and we are making great strides. Having said that, I do understand your frustration but please keep the faith that we're a lot closer than you may realise
Who came here after watching Netflix's Kingdom of us? She's a brave and strong woman and I wish her and her children all the happiness that the world could offer.
As an Autistic person I felt like an alien all my life: Until I learned about autism and was convinced at one point, that I was in fact one too. All started to make sense. And theres nothing more comforting than the thought "Im not wrong. I dont need to be cured. I just have a brain thats a little differently wired than that of others!"
Hi I am just trying to Learn about autism as my son was diagnosed and I do not understand I need to undrrstand what it is he struggles with so I can help... What is it?
@@missTkk nobody can tell you that, since every Autist is different. I'm a high functioning Autist, I have different struggles than some severly autistic kid that can't even speak. But I can tell you that much: love your kid. Love him with all your heart and try to find out whats wrong with him. Find out what he needs, what stresses him and try to get rid of everything thats not good for him. For that you need to learn to think outside the box. For example: Only because you would be happier if you had some friends, this doesn't mean that your kid would need friends to all cost. Ask him. Do you feel lonely? Do you want some help finding friends? And if he says "no", dont try to force people into his life. That will do only harm, no good. Thats what I see with non autistic parents all the time: they think because they enjoyed something in their childhood, their kid will, too. And thats the most harmful assumption one can possibly make. The only person regarding the needs of your kid, you should ask about his needs, is your kid. Also, yeah, support groups help! As long as you keep in mind that not everything that helps them will help your kid.
Christ that audience is dry. I love this woman what an inspiration. The documentary was so moving and inspiring. Bravo Vikie 👏 your kids are a credit to you. And themselves. Ps the dress is amazing 😉
I just watched it today. What a heartbreaking tragedy. I can't imagine what it must be like to love someone so much that you have seven children together and discover later that he planned a suicide-murder of his entire family. Seriously I doubt his problem was autism but schizophrenia. There was also greed involved. He always wanted more and more until he was financially ruined. Need to be very very careful with whom you start a family as genetics are much more important than we give credit.
This has got to be one of the best ASD-related ted talks out there. And there are many that have been done by autistics themselves. Very few non-autistics have as progressive a view on us as you do Vikie, and I (and many other autistics by the look of these comments) appreciate this to no end. Thank you! Now if only autism acceptance/understanding here in the States was as far along as it seems to be in the UK and other parts of Europe, maybe it's because you don't have a huge eugenicist charity pushing for a "cure" like we do here?
I used to think that I needed social interaction to be happy because society told me that’s what everyone needs. But the first time in over a decade that I didn’t want to die was when I decided to just be myself a couple years ago. I stopped having a social life - I just interact very briefly with a few people, and I’ve never felt better as far as mental/emotional health. Don’t let society tell you what you need or what is healthy - just do what works for you personally.
Thanks for that I love someone who is autistic and we're both being discriminated against for simply being us-why can't the world be kinder to people who are different and just want to be left alone?
Oh that is wonderful to hear, not many people know that or admit it. I’m the same. So many benefits from living like this. But for now it works. So glad you’re happier x
Actually, instead of nurturing Autistics, people need to listen to us and ensure that we are involved at all levels in helping ourselves. The charity model has nothing to offer. It keeps us down.
We are! We actually want to find a so called cure for autism so autistic people can experience the pleasure we can feel when making friends. We dont want to keep you down, we want to help.
@@krispyvc7686 if there was would there be a cure for cancer to ? which does keep us down because your looking for something that will never be completely wiped out do farther research please✌
@@krispyvc7686 While you're at it, maybe consider finding a cure for the allistic tendency to assume whoever isn't acting exactly like them is somehow less human, preferring studies and opinions for the outside to statements made by those affected themselves (this is utterly baffling to me in every respect.) and your absolute hypocrisy about empathy, both claiming it as something we don't experience and constantly acting in absolutely cruel and thoughtless ways to others. The last one actually starts to seem like the oh-so-infamous "doublethink" at times. But maybe I'm too harsh, while absolutely clueless and cruel in it's content your statement seems to be coming from a very innocent and genuine place and you aren't exactly at fault for absorbing societies assumptions without question. It would still help you to educate yourself more on the subject, least you fall prey to the often toted presumptions of a society and end up hurting people without meaning to.
I have autism and adhd, thank you for this talk. I don't want a cure because my neurology is why I'm me, I'm very creative and like who I am. I haven't worked in years and wish I could. If only work places allowed us to work from home, I wouldn't struggle so much with sensory overload, panic attacks and intrusive thoughts.
I have autism adhd and OCD, so I get you. The intrusive thoughts have been debilitating for me, and so I've had trouble in school. I wish you luck, and know you are worthy as you are! one does not need to work to be good.
You are not the problem, the system is, it's sad we are made to feel we are wrong or broken. In so happy you've learned to like who you are, I wish that for everyone
I love this woman. I just watched Kingdom of Us, and I fell head over heels in love with every one of her children. this beautiful brave woman and her family.
Here children are all very high functioning. They aren't spready feces all over the walls, or banging their head until they have brain damage, or so frustrated from being non-verbal land unable to communicat that they retreat into their own world for days at a time. These children are autistic in name only. These children are independent. One can't even compare to what other parents go through, or the desparation a non-verbal person who is locked in feels at not being able to communicate. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL AUTISM and as long as the publich thinks it is, people who are truly suffering aren't going to get the help they need.
One of 2 comments I could relate to, thought I'd respond to yours because I'm told I did rather creative wall art with what was in my diaper.😁 now, I dont remember that but I'll take my folks word for it. I flunked kintergarden at 5. Now here, I remember plenty and nobody heard my side of the story. Teacher was mean. Next year I got a nice one, and away we go! Didn't get potty trained until 5yrs, when they got me a seat to fit me. Safety first! I've spent my life without the label, no reason to change. And I'm good!👌 Both comments pointed this out, but there are young kids who really need help and the money to make it possible for these kids to catch up. No you cant wait down the road, and I'd say any foundation doing this is investing in a brighter future for everyone! As an autistic, I say spend it up front (for foundations...), I promise you it will return tenfold. Literally! Team Autistic!
that's wonderful I am totally happy for you if you are doing well with your autism but it is very important to realize that autism affects everyone differently and that some people with autism DO want and desperately NEED cures there very LIFE depends on it! again happy for you that it works for you but it REALLY does need treatment's/cures for the people who need it!
i am my self autistic.... so many companies are so quick to say no instead of yes and the saddest part of it all my passion is cars i could tell you every part of a car all the main companies porsche mercedes have said no to me how i've just decided to see it is there loss. autism can be hard especially when you've got but also the best thing i've got and would wish not to be Autistic
Just watched the documentary about your family on Netflix. Really glad I watched. Your children have such an honest and clear view of "life" as they figure things out, just like we all do. I wish I could put my thoughts and ideas to words in the way that they do.
This is so awful for people that are severely autistic...they are getting ignored by the celebration of mildly autistic peoples success - I am very happy that your children will go on and have a very nice life....but that does not apply to those that need 24/7 care and their parents worry who will look after them when they are gone - you say your daughter was severely autistic....I've seen severely autistic and believe me they high pitch squeal instead of talking bang their heads because they are in pain & spend most of the day non functional and certainly could not attend the outings you state and gain gold medals, so ....quite clearly this autism labelling which I don't really feel is adequate is also misleading. To bunch everyone into the same tag and then start calling it neurodiverse is not helping when obviously there are some that can perform and the extreme that cant...but being as we are stating they are all autistic we then are leaving the real needy children in limbo and the ones in the middle confused and unemployed, Never really getting to grips in any direction nationally,,, yet we have all these societies and charities and associations getting money that goes to just a few whilst the majority left to suffer. As I said I am happy for your children, but there are hundreds of thousands that are floundering...many are overlooked in the education department - there are not enough resources in the school system...some are being criminalised by the police & judicial services and social welfare is apauling for those that have to go into care. Though inspirational to some it will be quite offensive to those dealing with REAL severe autism.
Hi Vikie, no don't mind at all. Neither is the answer. I have lived nextdoor to three different families with autistic children, a best friend with 2 out of 3 children autistic and a cousin with autistic children. Also I worked in the health industry going back to the early eighties, where in I have done copious amounts of research.
But what you don't understand is that we are celebrating all kinds of autistic people for who they are. Ones that speak and ones that don't. One's that can live on their own and ones that need a lot of support. One's with `140 IQs and one's with 62 IQs. All of us are deserve respect. We all have weaknesses and strengths and individuality and not all of us neurodiversity advocates are mild, many of us are non-speaking or have intellectual disabilities. And those of us who are so-called mild don't have it as easy as you think so please don't judge based on how you see us on the outside. I had speech and motor delays. I communicated in mostly sign language until age 3 and remained in diapers until age 4. I then continued to still wet the bed until puberty. I wouldn't respond to my name or willingly share things about my day when asked, I was quiet and withdrawn and had a flat effect. I was clumsy and took things very literally. I had severe anxiety and frequent meltdowns that involved screaming, crying, throwing objects, self-harm and have gotten me nearly thrown out of school. I sometimes forget to eat(this at one point got to the point where I had some sort of spasm/seizure), I'm a picky eater. I have insomnia, digestive problems, tics, ADHD, I was hospitalized for an attempted suicide. I cannot make or keep friends. I have echolalia, and stim often. I'm sensitive to noises, smells, and textures. I struggle too. Just because I can speak and don't have intellectual disability doesn't mean I don't need support too. And just because some people are still in nappies and can't speak doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to love themselves for who they are.
Do you believe autism is a result of vaccine damage? Also wondering what Vikie thinks and if her 7 or 5 children were vaccinated. I had a close friend who worked with "handicapped" children in social services and he said a lot of their files were marked as vaccine damaged. I believe in England medical records are the governments' property and this conclusion would be kept hidden.
I’ve been an educator for 15 years and have worked with countless children on the spectrum. I also have a child on the spectrum and am in the middle of getting an evaluation myself. I understand Helen of Troy’s concerns about glorifying high functioning autism and ignoring the immense needs of those who are severely disabled by their autism. However, the issue with those of us who are high functioning and gregarious in our special interests, careers and relationships is that without understanding how to mitigate the problems with communication and the sensory overload from everyday life, high functioning Autistics end up burning out and experiencing severe setbacks that the world doesn’t tolerate because we look “so normal.” Those of us who are more capable in everyday life are the most profound advocates for our fellows with more severe challenges. The Neurodiversity movement is about accepting that each of us has a uniquely structured brain and that individuals should be celebrated for their skills and accommodated for their limitations in order to develop into the best version of themselves. This applies to each person, whether on the spectrum or not.
Neurodiversity what a beautiful word Vikie differently abled people have been your gifts and become your mission to share with the world what it looks like to be an Autist, a person, a valuable member of the society! I am just so encouraged by all you have to say in your blog, your speeches, your book and your life has so much meaning and has enriched mine by knowing your story.
And son... don't forget about him! Likewise finished "Kingdom of Us" and Vikie, if you read this, I am likewise in awe of you and your family, and everything you've been through. Keep up the good fight, both in raising awareness for autism (which my son has as well) and mental health/depression, which me and many members of my family deal with as well. I feel incredibly inspired by your story.
Acceptance is the only 'cure's that's needed. Attempts to "fix" autistics is always for the benefit of non-autistics and never for the benefit of people who have autism
Autistic people have so much to offer and so many strengths with the way their minds work. We wouldn't be living in the world we live in now if it weren't for them and their remarkable abilities. However, those who would like a cure should, of course be able to seek one, but it should be because they want it, not because society makes them feel that they are not 'good enough' as they are. I believe that shifts in societal attitudes and the minor changes autistic people need in order to experience the world without the endless anxiety would be a huge step forward and I will always fight for that.
I am the state winner of geography bee I speak 12 languages I am a published writer i did my doctorate in law from Oxford I have a model as a wife ALL Achieved by a "Developmentally disabled child" maybe developmentally different
Awesome. I wish that everyone on the Spectrum could be given all the healing and support to experience the absolute best that they possibly can & have all their dreams come true. God is amazing and can help us all if we just ask of Him.
I've studied Autism for over 20 years, including inside the brain. In an autistic mind the greatest variation is in the occipital lobes at the back of the brain. PhD. Thomas Armstrong shares the variation makes the brain work in a systematic way. PhD. Thomas Armstrong supports neurodiversity and argues against other professionals who oppose it. • Routines • Detailed • Overloaded with information and shutdown • Controlled environments • Uncomfortable with changes • Consistency • Not tied to social expectations • IT/Architecture/Music/Mathematics etc. all the jobs Autistic people are great at is something that has structure and a system to it. Creative girls on the spectrum are known to have huge imaginations that they can come up with something new every single day.
👍10/14/17 Wow, such an amazing woman and mother! I saw the Kingdom Of Us on Netflix about her & her children dealing with her husband’s suicide. I find it so interesting that none of the children seem to have autism at all and definitely not in the way that I’ve previously experienced or seen people who have been diagnosed with autism here in the USA. They seem quite “normal” and certainly more normal that some of the so called “normal” people that I know...including myself. This has me so interested and motivated to learn more about autism.
What's in this mug? Toasted up, no I ain't hostin'! All in my lap because they don't wanna roll it! I was sliding in the Lamb' with the powerglide, slime green paint, peanut butter inside!
what I observed is that one of the most hateful groups towards autistic people is the anti-vax movement. some of them will even straight up admit they'd rather have their children die from a preventable diseasr than have autism while I can't understand it at all. like sure, there are areas of my life that have been nerfed by it but overall I'm doing well, better than many "healthy" people around me.
I recommend the groups ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network), AADP, and NCIL (National Council on Independent Living) which are ran by disabled people for disabled people. I look forward to the day when we control non-profits and government agencies that pertain to our needs.
Thank you so much. Generic term "neuro-divergent drives innovation"'. Lovely. You are a great speaker, and a joy to observe. In you I see my mother, who recognized my autism early on, and I can recall times when she addressed it, full on. Thank goodness she was a musician and shred her piano with us.
came here ...after watching "kingdom of us" which made me cry repetedly .. and overwhelmed me with the power of sharing and life ... thank you thank you vicky ..for making the documentary and giving hope ,showing strength ..
Just watched a documentary on Netflix about the Shanks family (The kingdom of us) what a beautiful people! I wish all the best for all of them hope all their dreams come true! :)
dont believe "professionals" - there are tons of tedx videos of people who overcame their autism and now have better lives, ie Carly Fleischmann. we should focus on enabling them and using their talents, then maybe one day they will take us to the stars.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 KJV Jesus lives Jesus Christ is Lord For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23 Jesus loves you repent You're a sinner in need of a Savior That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:9-10 KJV
The family mus be loaded to put 7 kids through private education and then arts courses at college.... huge house. Where does a single mother get the money from? Not an 'average' family from a financial perspective.
I have to assume you haven't actually watched the film? When my husband took his own life he left me with over £1m in debt, I fought hard and worked hard to keep the children in the house which is very run down due to lack of funds but at least they had a secure base. I am now facing bankruptcy and homelessness as the huge mortgage on the house comes to an end in January and I have no way of paying it off. Please don't judge people without all of the facts x
I understand her children are fine, but your not talking about the nonverbal ones, or those who don't want autism. And theirs a lot. I have seen a video on a channel called The Doctors, which has a woman who claims her daughers been cured through a somewhat shady treatment. It did seem to produce results with what I've researched.
@Quinn Brophy With what? I'm not complaining that her kids are doing great, I'm saying only those who are able to communicate are saying they don't want a cure, and we need to acknowledge this.
You're a really good mum. And you're really brave. You made me cry. I feel like I've finally found the missing piece of my chaotic puzzled life. I'm 100% sure I'm autistic, just realised it by myself at 26 years old. I hope I could stumble across a "not so bad" doctor that could "confirm" it not finally feel a bit of peace and freedom. I really wish you the best and I hope one day I will have the honour to met you. Thank you for beign a super human being.
I agree ma'am . We have 2 autistic boys One mid range functioning one low functioning We are trying to improve the quality of their lives and make our lives a little easier on a daily basis
Please Any tips I have a child which is autistic and not much help in the UK for me yet.. He is still young and am trying to learn understand so I can help please anyone who can help with any Informations, tips, how they think see the world what it is how to help them develop etc
Kingdom of Us is a documentary that truly changed my way of thinking about my autistic husband, children and grandchild. I’m so grateful for it. I encourage all to watch it.
We have to be close to the detail of 'different' to se the positives as well as the minuses. We live in a world of divided concious entities bound together by a loose 'almost propaganda led' society. This lady has reared some very remarkable people. They may not think the same way as a majority of people. But what I have discovered is the majority of people are those most easily led by programming by the media. It is the people who are different who add most to human advantage. Creativity, new ideas, looking at things a bit different. These things break the spell of slumber. I know for real some of this lady's children. The ones I have met and worked with have extraordinary skills which I do not see readily or commonly elsewhere. They have enriched my own life and made me think profoundly about the world we live in. Well done Vikie for being the champion, not just of your family, but looking again at, and making the effort to get a message over to as many as you can, that all people have something extraordinary to offer. We must look around ourselves closer and see the beauty of how life creates people with different perspectives so that collectively we can learn so much more about this place we all share called... reality. A strong lady who isn't just talking it. She's livied it and is living it. mol
being nurtured and supported helps us grow into people able to care for ourselves. Of course we need a stimulating and challenging intellectual environment, so we learn to think for ourselves, but being supported goes a long way, and I don't just mean charity I mean schooling designed to help us learn in a way that suits us, but challenges us in a realistic way. I think this woman is truly right. She is not babying us, or diminishing us she is not saying suffering is inherent to our minds. I feel sorry for all who have internalized ableism, and who blame their brain for a problem with a society built around average brains
Anne Llewellyn, I've studied Autism for over 20 years, once I began studying Autism as an 8 year old it became an interest of mine and still is today. Even though I'm not a qualified ASD Specialist I'm all over online Autism communities helping parents understand their children. I've always been telling them to stop focusing so much on weaknesses and help them use their strengths so they don't sabotage themselves into believing they have so little potential. Each time people have told me these conditions are disabilities I asked them; "What's a disability?" They then say things like something that causes difficulties, limitations, disadvantages etc. I then ask them "doesn't that mean humanity is a disability then? Every human being has difficulties, disadvantages by things like age and size, limitations by limited energy. I tell them we're simply part of "The Human Spectrum". I like how PhD. Thomas Armstrong says we're not Disabled but Differently-Abled.
...besides *your own children* and also *your own children* , maybe also *your own children* don´t you think some *"others"* might benefit from any form of treatment, besides *your own children* ?
I watched Kingdom of us and searched an update on the family. I was so impressed by how free they were to discuss things with mum and each other. They each had a voice. So many children don't. Vickie is beautiful, strong and brilliantly articulate.
I was a mum to 4 kids and people used to say 'god, your house must be noisy'. But it was often silent. What we didn't know was that me and all my kids were neurodivergent. Get them talking about their special interests and the indepth, loud, excited, witty and intellectual conversations would go on for hours, into the early hours of the morning sometimes. But often they were in their own worlds, engrossed in their special interests of writing, drawing, reading, watching documentaries on their laptops, playing video games with their headphones on and messaging each other on discord or WhatsApp as they would rather type than be verbal as they loved the calm of a quiet house. I should have known the kids were ND but I was too so to me it was all "normal' because thats how I was too.
@vickie shanks - i watched "kingdom of us" last night,, which is how i found your TEDxtalk. what a beautiful story. you and all of your kids and even their dad are some of the most wonderful, loving, sensitive, creative people i have ever seen. your children are beautiful. i had no idea t hey were autistic until i watched your talk. i admire you for your incredible strength and patience with everything you've been through. simply amazing! best wishes to you all!
if I was offered a cure to autism right now, I would immediately take it. The people around me all know about my autism and several quirks. My work is very good with it too. But when you just get exhausted from the way the sun is shining or the way the brakes on a car squeak and all these tiny things every bloody day. You just want to start screaming and hitting the things that cause the discomfort. I have never done such a thing but I have collapsed in fits or tears at home every week since I was 12. If that could be taken away... give it to me now!
@@taylorh.3484 focusing on a cure won’t do any good. It’s your brain structure and genetics, that can never be changed, at least without completely changing who you are as a person. And maybe that is what you want, but even then it won’t happen anytime soon. I’m tired of other autistic people internalizing ableism! It’s not your brain that’s the problem, but a environment designed to support average people and not us! We have a completely different set of capabilities than average people, and as such it is useless to compare us to them. We thrive when we are supported and not forced to conform to a society not made for us. About the emotionless part. That is not completely uncommon with asd, I experience it too. It’s called emotional blunting or detachment, and with people who have autism, it’s usually caused by not being supported when we were young, being forced to conform or meet expectations not made for us (or other trauma). It leaves us almost emotionally stunted. But it’s not hopeless obviously, you just need a good therapist with a good understanding off asd, who you also connect with, plus a good psychiatrist who can address possible systemic lack of dopamine.
@@taylorh.3484 What do you mean once had? Aspergers is not something you get later in life, its something that is usually noticeable early in life. How does it make you emotionless?
@@shadowyzephyr An unknown/little known mental health issue called Maladaptive Daydreaming repeatedly used logic, reasoning, critical thinking in a continuous/never ending loop and over the course of 6 years, caused my Aspergers to change. I ended up getting brainwave training and now I’m emotionless. I’m an android. I also see the world as abstract now. I can’t react to anything. My life is gone.
Watch this & change your perceptions. Be thankful for divergence in our Society and the benefits we all ultimately experience as a result. Thank you for sharing Vikie 🤓 PJ
Merci pour l’autisme. Je viens de regarder le documentaire… maman énormément compresiva e adorable avec ces enfants… j’ai u garçon autis de 29 ans, mais avec un lourd handicapé. Énormément forte, belle et avec beaucoup de amour. Un grand respect et j’ai t’embrasse énormément. Exemple à suivre… les enfants ils sont tellement entourés pour toi, que l’ handicap, n’est pas évident. Je voudrais un peux de ton courage… je voudrais te retrouver. Merci pour ton lección de amour . Je t’aime 🫶❤️❤️❤️
I just watched kingdom of us, a heartbreaking doc, felt sad about what happened but learned so much as well, the world owes much from the shanks family life lessons
These new kids on the block are the new humans Kryon talks about by Lee Carroll. They have advanced DNA here to help humanity shift perceptions on what is possible in our current way of being I am grateful they are here now. The future looks awesome with their presence here now.
Hi wll done to your son, my son just got diagnosed and I am a little concerned can you please share any tips for me as a parent ? When did he start talking? Was he ever behind neurologically
As a parent of an autistic child - like most worried parents I watched hours and hours of youtube videos trying to inform myself as quickly as I could about what I was in for, what to expect, what to look for, and how to react and to help my child. The raw honesty of this talk was by FAR the most helpful thing. I've been worried sick about writing my child off and her moment of vulnerability, of honesty and hope, I can't even put into words... it saved me. Thank you Vikie, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Bless you.
Thank you so much for this, my main goal for the talk was to give hope to people that their children were far more able than they could ever imagine when they were young. You've made my day by saying the talk helped you, I'm in awe of people on the Spectrum, they are wonderful, honest, beautiful people. You will watch your child blossom over the years xx
One who does not know and thinks he/she knows is-dangerous. We must listen to those who were not afraid to see and think differently - and have found so much value
I am an aspie with ADHD and dsylexia, I have created a wonderful way of people to learn languages which will help people communicate and save trillions worldwide with translation services for authorities. Loads of inventions, ideas for people to do things, create jobs with new business ideas for people. But here in Sweden I am not getting any help, they say my ideas are too big and because I can't do a business plan, I'm stuck being unemployed, but they want me to get a job, but there are no jobs so I want to start a company, but because my ideas are bigger they won't start bringing in money straight away, they won't help me. Is there anyone out there that can help me?
I believe in you! Im an aspire stuck in the middle of American society. It’s hard to function when your pressured to be someone else. But I believe we can always fin the right support and succeed!
Beautiful, incredible children! My moderately autistic son is beautiful, and incredible too. I'm doing everything I can to build him up, because he has amazing potential!
It's refreshing to see this and the comments after feeling frustrated at watching a video that demonized autism as if I were defective and getting disheartened at the comments. I am so sick of people's ignorance. Just because someone is different doesnt mean they need to be fixed. From my experience most autistic people's struggles come from other people's treatment of them. I have many struggles as does everyone, and I have many skills. I do not need a cure and acting as if being autistic is a fate worse than death as many people do is heartbreaking and contributed to years of self hatred and confusion. The world needs to change. Nobody would tolerate this treatment of any other minority group on this scale in this day and age.
I agree, it's nice to see a positive comment section not talking down to people with autism. However, I think you're wrong about people not tolerating this treatment of other minority groups -- there are other groups that get similar or worse treatment, unfortunately.
Is a strong woman. I am crying. And I think right now: I do not need to be happy. I need to be STRONG. Your daughters and your son are perfect people. I am sorry. I am brazilian and live in Brazil and do not understand english, a lot. I want this family and others being very happy. Thank u for documentary.
Vikie - you have THE most beautiful & Extraordinarily loving Family. Striking the kindness, patience and care all the Siblings would give one another. Quite a striking contrast to my own. Quite.
No, saying that makes it sound better than it is, which is frankly just as harmful to the people it's describing. It makes it sound as if life with autism or other conditions is easy, when in reality in can be harder to fit into the world because of problems in society, and lack of things that people expect.
Vikie, You have cracked the glass floor and gained a grounding. You have made it to the stage so that many may hear your story over just a few. I see. Thank you for your honesty and your courage. Thank you to the network that helped Nikita+ family escape the pity,the trophies/ the medal iconography, negative wordography /spiral to move towards a communication system that is more precise , kind and resourceful across the board (mutually) so that we may support. Language/silence always carries a anchor ,a embrace a sting or a kindness,, and we are trying to be better without getting obsessive or intolerant,, Why does math get all the fun :) . I know this is hard work ,, but we do not like to lose children, teens or youth, anyone, for that matter. OR wildlife, plants and marine life. Ohh sorry expanding more... Don't read if this is too open for you but also do not forget if you have a quiet/reflective moment in your life to think of this idea. 7 is a big number in a family and , 3 has its' problems too. I do so regret bringing up this number system but i feel you may be open and it is important to ? due to your reach. Ok? thank you . The nature of family dynamics, in large families, in a complex 360 world 2016 , as well as the limited, more narrow family, two adults plus a child and the new gender diverse family unit , step parents model dynamic plus everything in between should be discussed openly and honestly. We are seriously open in our permissions and experiments right now and maybe we want to talk, balance without yelling, or calling it gender bias or this or that. Just seriously come together and think about it, talk. I have no preference but this is our world and family means a lot,, Marketers use it, sit coms, etc. i believe it is core to our being and hence I would like to open the topic beyond the Iconic. ... . ,,, next TED talk. On a lighter note--The dress your daughter designed is fabulous,,Sincerely spoken! Secondly, I would not agree that people are made for computers,,, Silicon Valley successful candidates live there... More,, we should know that humans lead computers and evolution might not look like us growing more robotic to keep up with Tech rev. Please remember the assembly line of factories that destroyed tailors, carvers,,and ended up setting people into mindless repetitive lines for the sake of progress and produce,, even children (Shame!) . If we gain more time, we are going to use it to make better tech,, rather than enjoy family or go kayaking because computers stimulate, really stimulate,, efficiency factor flat is the high of tech.. And we thought marijuana was the problem. The Organic Brain needs to be respected next to the tech age or we will foolishly create more than we need. . Vikie has opened the door to a sterling discussion. Great Thanks!!!!
Thank you Donna, we do need an awful lot more discussion and understanding before we can really get anywhere. My children grew up in the mud with no computers until they were older and no TV's in their rooms, it did them the world of good as they can now communicate very well in spite of their difficulties. Let's get the discussion going! x
i support your parenting style for the gradual integration of technology, Tv while first offering up real time experiences, sensorial roller coaster rides in the early years. Well done and thank you for your vision. Yes, we need to know more especially if we would like some semblance of control/balance over the experiences, and development of children in a tech driven, info age, globalized environment. Colonization taught us much let us now analyze the big sister , or big brother to this,, Globalization, and not simply accept progress for its own sake. We are the guardians of the planet along with many other species. With great intellect , resources and passion comes great responsibility...humans. Thanks again Vicki for your thoughts, Stellar!
We don't need to be cured. We need to be respected, encouraged, and tolerated, and we will thrive just fine.
You have no idea how strongly I feel about the people who are putting all of their resources into 'curing' autism. I will keep fighting for better awareness and understanding about how powerful the contribution from people on the spectrum is. We need you guys and in the words of Temple Grandin “What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool? You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.” I rest my case!
@vikieshanks You deserve a "Mama of the Year" award. Wow, just wow... You and your children are amazing!
Oh and tell your daughter, great work on the dress!! Beautiful!
I'm highly active on all fronts and will continue to be until we achieve that aim. We're getting there!
There is a lot going on behind the scenes that I'm working on with numerous other people and we are making great strides. Having said that, I do understand your frustration but please keep the faith that we're a lot closer than you may realise
Who came here after watching Netflix's Kingdom of us? She's a brave and strong woman and I wish her and her children all the happiness that the world could offer.
As an Autistic person I felt like an alien all my life: Until I learned about autism and was convinced at one point, that I was in fact one too. All started to make sense. And theres nothing more comforting than the thought "Im not wrong. I dont need to be cured. I just have a brain thats a little differently wired than that of others!"
Hi I am just trying to Learn about autism as my son was diagnosed and I do not understand I need to undrrstand what it is he struggles with so I can help... What is it?
@@missTkk nobody can tell you that, since every Autist is different. I'm a high functioning Autist, I have different struggles than some severly autistic kid that can't even speak.
But I can tell you that much: love your kid. Love him with all your heart and try to find out whats wrong with him. Find out what he needs, what stresses him and try to get rid of everything thats not good for him.
For that you need to learn to think outside the box. For example: Only because you would be happier if you had some friends, this doesn't mean that your kid would need friends to all cost. Ask him. Do you feel lonely? Do you want some help finding friends? And if he says "no", dont try to force people into his life. That will do only harm, no good.
Thats what I see with non autistic parents all the time: they think because they enjoyed something in their childhood, their kid will, too. And thats the most harmful assumption one can possibly make.
The only person regarding the needs of your kid, you should ask about his needs, is your kid.
Also, yeah, support groups help! As long as you keep in mind that not everything that helps them will help your kid.
Cristaliana lvor Exactly! There's nothing wrong with us! it's just who we are! i hope there's never a cure for autism! i love my autism
some people DO want cures though or else they will die so it's important to get a cure for those who want and need it!
@@AN-zz8ps autism is no deadly disease.
It isn't even a disease to begin with. So there is no cure.
Christ that audience is dry. I love this woman what an inspiration. The documentary was so moving and inspiring. Bravo Vikie 👏 your kids are a credit to you. And themselves. Ps the dress is amazing 😉
Just watched "Kingdom of Us" made me cry, you are such a strong woman!
she has a very strong family to make it through something like that. wish them all the best.
What is that??
I just watched it today. What a heartbreaking tragedy. I can't imagine what it must be like to love someone so much that you have seven children together and discover later that he planned a suicide-murder of his entire family. Seriously I doubt his problem was autism but schizophrenia. There was also greed involved. He always wanted more and more until he was financially ruined. Need to be very very careful with whom you start a family as genetics are much more important than we give credit.
This has got to be one of the best ASD-related ted talks out there. And there are many that have been done by autistics themselves. Very few non-autistics have as progressive a view on us as you do Vikie, and I (and many other autistics by the look of these comments) appreciate this to no end. Thank you!
Now if only autism acceptance/understanding here in the States was as far along as it seems to be in the UK and other parts of Europe, maybe it's because you don't have a huge eugenicist charity pushing for a "cure" like we do here?
That huge eugenicist charity pushing for a "cure" is Autism Speaks. I'm just putting that here for any future readers.
Such a lovely lady and beautiful dress.
The color alone is mesmerizing, her daughter did a beautiful job
I used to think that I needed social interaction to be happy because society told me that’s what everyone needs. But the first time in over a decade that I didn’t want to die was when I decided to just be myself a couple years ago. I stopped having a social life - I just interact very briefly with a few people, and I’ve never felt better as far as mental/emotional health. Don’t let society tell you what you need or what is healthy - just do what works for you personally.
Thanks for th
Thanks for that I love someone who is autistic and we're both being discriminated against for simply being us-why can't the world be kinder to people who are different and just want to be left alone?
Oh that is wonderful to hear, not many people know that or admit it. I’m the same. So many benefits from living like this. But for now it works. So glad you’re happier x
This lady is an inspiration to all mothers and parents in general.
Actually, instead of nurturing Autistics, people need to listen to us and ensure that we are involved at all levels in helping ourselves. The charity model has nothing to offer. It keeps us down.
We are!
We actually want to find a so called cure for autism so autistic people can experience the pleasure we can feel when making friends. We dont want to keep you down, we want to help.
@@krispyvc7686 if there was would there be a cure for cancer to ? which does keep us down because your looking for something that will never be completely wiped out do farther research please✌
@@krispyvc7686 We don't need nor want a cure for Autism. A cure for ignorance would be nice though.
@@krispyvc7686 While you're at it, maybe consider finding a cure for the allistic tendency to assume whoever isn't acting exactly like them is somehow less human, preferring studies and opinions for the outside to statements made by those affected themselves (this is utterly baffling to me in every respect.) and your absolute hypocrisy about empathy, both claiming it as something we don't experience and constantly acting in absolutely cruel and thoughtless ways to others. The last one actually starts to seem like the oh-so-infamous "doublethink" at times.
But maybe I'm too harsh, while absolutely clueless and cruel in it's content your statement seems to be coming from a very innocent and genuine place and you aren't exactly at fault for absorbing societies assumptions without question. It would still help you to educate yourself more on the subject, least you fall prey to the often toted presumptions of a society and end up hurting people without meaning to.
I agree with meme mc meme. We deserve a cure, and we're sick of idiots telling us that we don't need one.
Watched Kingdom Of Us yesterday, what a beautiful family, so good to see Vickie here being strong and articulate, very inspirational.
Thank you so much, so much good can come from pain and
trauma x
Who has watched the documentary 'Kingdom of Us' on Netflix and was in tears the whole way through like I was?
I have autism and adhd, thank you for this talk. I don't want a cure because my neurology is why I'm me, I'm very creative and like who I am. I haven't worked in years and wish I could. If only work places allowed us to work from home, I wouldn't struggle so much with sensory overload, panic attacks and intrusive thoughts.
I have autism adhd and OCD, so I get you. The intrusive thoughts have been debilitating for me, and so I've had trouble in school. I wish you luck, and know you are worthy as you are! one does not need to work to be good.
You are not the problem, the system is, it's sad we are made to feel we are wrong or broken. In so happy you've learned to like who you are, I wish that for everyone
Autism is more than just a different way of thinking....
in the docu .. vicky is humble and voulnrable ..here on stage outspoken and wise ... we need more people like this .. so cool too discover !!!!
I love this woman. I just watched Kingdom of Us, and I fell head over heels in love with every one of her children. this beautiful brave woman and her family.
Here children are all very high functioning. They aren't spready feces all over the walls, or banging their head until they have brain damage, or so frustrated from being non-verbal land unable to communicat that they retreat into their own world for days at a time. These children are autistic in name only. These children are independent. One can't even compare to what other parents go through, or the desparation a non-verbal person who is locked in feels at not being able to communicate. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL AUTISM and as long as the publich thinks it is, people who are truly suffering aren't going to get the help they need.
One of 2 comments I could relate to, thought I'd respond to yours because I'm told I did rather creative wall art with what was in my diaper.😁 now, I dont remember that but I'll take my folks word for it. I flunked kintergarden at 5. Now here, I remember plenty and nobody heard my side of the story. Teacher was mean. Next year I got a nice one, and away we go! Didn't get potty trained until 5yrs, when they got me a seat to fit me. Safety first!
I've spent my life without the label, no reason to change. And I'm good!👌
Both comments pointed this out, but there are young kids who really need help and the money to make it possible for these kids to catch up. No you cant wait down the road, and I'd say any foundation doing this is investing in a brighter future for everyone!
As an autistic, I say spend it up front (for foundations...), I promise you it will return tenfold. Literally! Team Autistic!
You don't speak for those diagnosed as "low functioning" or their families.
Vikie is an inspiration. Please watch this talk whether you know anything about autism or not...
Thank you Jo...
I would not trade my autism. There are some disadvantages but also many advantages. Normal life sounds boring frankly.
Hi Snuggletummy! What a fabulous handle and I love your comments, my children would definitely agree with you! xx
that's wonderful I am totally happy for you if you are doing well with your autism but it is very important to realize that autism affects everyone differently and that some people with autism DO want and desperately NEED cures there very LIFE depends on it! again happy for you that it works for you but it REALLY does need treatment's/cures for the people who need it!
Shut up you true lamp and people alarm bud head shape
i am my self autistic.... so many companies are so quick to say no instead of yes and the saddest part of it all my passion is cars i could tell you every part of a car all the main companies porsche mercedes have said no to me how i've just decided to see it is there loss. autism can be hard especially when you've got but also the best thing i've got and would wish not to be Autistic
I have autism I don't need a cure
I rarely comment on RUclips but what a powerful story - just value your honesty and the sense of hope that comes from this.
Thank you so much Chris
Watching this in tears. Thank you for being our voice in the world. Your children are so incredibly fortunate.
Just watched the documentary about your family on Netflix. Really glad I watched. Your children have such an honest and clear view of "life" as they figure things out, just like we all do. I wish I could put my thoughts and ideas to words in the way that they do.
What's the name of the documentary?
Just BRILLIANT! Vikie you're an inspiring woman and the world is lucky to have you x
Thank you so much Todd, the fight goes on! xx
AMEN sweet lady! Righteous! We have 2 Autists, & they are the most AMAZING boys, 9 & 11yo. Thank You for setting it right! :-)
This is so awful for people that are severely autistic...they are getting ignored by the celebration of mildly autistic peoples success - I am very happy that your children will go on and have a very nice life....but that does not apply to those that need 24/7 care and their parents worry who will look after them when they are gone - you say your daughter was severely autistic....I've seen severely autistic and believe me they high pitch squeal instead of talking bang their heads because they are in pain & spend most of the day non functional and certainly could not attend the outings you state and gain gold medals, so ....quite clearly this autism labelling which I don't really feel is adequate is also misleading. To bunch everyone into the same tag and then start calling it neurodiverse is not helping when obviously there are some that can perform and the extreme that cant...but being as we are stating they are all autistic we then are leaving the real needy children in limbo and the ones in the middle confused and unemployed, Never really getting to grips in any direction nationally,,, yet we have all these societies and charities and associations getting money that goes to just a few whilst the majority left to suffer. As I said I am happy for your children, but there are hundreds of thousands that are floundering...many are overlooked in the education department - there are not enough resources in the school system...some are being criminalised by the police & judicial services and social welfare is apauling for those that have to go into care. Though inspirational to some it will be quite offensive to those dealing with REAL severe autism.
Hi Vikie, no don't mind at all. Neither is the answer. I have lived nextdoor to three different families with autistic children, a best friend with 2 out of 3 children autistic and a cousin with autistic children. Also I worked in the health industry going back to the early eighties, where in I have done copious amounts of research.
But what you don't understand is that we are celebrating all kinds of autistic people for who they are. Ones that speak and ones that don't. One's that can live on their own and ones that need a lot of support. One's with `140 IQs and one's with 62 IQs. All of us are deserve respect. We all have weaknesses and strengths and individuality and not all of us neurodiversity advocates are mild, many of us are non-speaking or have intellectual disabilities. And those of us who are so-called mild don't have it as easy as you think so please don't judge based on how you see us on the outside. I had speech and motor delays. I communicated in mostly sign language until age 3 and remained in diapers until age 4. I then continued to still wet the bed until puberty. I wouldn't respond to my name or willingly share things about my day when asked, I was quiet and withdrawn and had a flat effect. I was clumsy and took things very literally. I had severe anxiety and frequent meltdowns that involved screaming, crying, throwing objects, self-harm and have gotten me nearly thrown out of school. I sometimes forget to eat(this at one point got to the point where I had some sort of spasm/seizure), I'm a picky eater. I have insomnia, digestive problems, tics, ADHD, I was hospitalized for an attempted suicide. I cannot make or keep friends. I have echolalia, and stim often. I'm sensitive to noises, smells, and textures. I struggle too. Just because I can speak and don't have intellectual disability doesn't mean I don't need support too. And just because some people are still in nappies and can't speak doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to love themselves for who they are.
Do you believe autism is a result of vaccine damage? Also wondering what Vikie thinks and if her 7 or 5 children were vaccinated. I had a close friend who worked with "handicapped" children in social services and he said a lot of their files were marked as vaccine damaged. I believe in England medical records are the governments' property and this conclusion would be kept hidden.
I’ve been an educator for 15 years and have worked with countless children on the spectrum. I also have a child on the spectrum and am in the middle of getting an evaluation myself. I understand Helen of Troy’s concerns about glorifying high functioning autism and ignoring the immense needs of those who are severely disabled by their autism. However, the issue with those of us who are high functioning and gregarious in our special interests, careers and relationships is that without understanding how to mitigate the problems with communication and the sensory overload from everyday life, high functioning Autistics end up burning out and experiencing severe setbacks that the world doesn’t tolerate because we look “so normal.”
Those of us who are more capable in everyday life are the most profound advocates for our fellows with more severe challenges.
The Neurodiversity movement is about accepting that each of us has a uniquely structured brain and that individuals should be celebrated for their skills and accommodated for their limitations in order to develop into the best version of themselves.
This applies to each person, whether on the spectrum or not.
Your brain is different from the systemic ableism and social norms that make autistic people feel like they have to act non autistic to be worthy
Neurodiversity what a beautiful word Vikie differently abled people have been your gifts and become your mission to share with the world what it looks like to be an Autist, a person, a valuable member of the society! I am just so encouraged by all you have to say in your blog, your speeches, your book and your life has so much meaning and has enriched mine by knowing your story.
Everybody should watch 'Kingdom Of Us' and see for themselves how beautifully made her daughters are :)
And son... don't forget about him! Likewise finished "Kingdom of Us" and Vikie, if you read this, I am likewise in awe of you and your family, and everything you've been through. Keep up the good fight, both in raising awareness for autism (which my son has as well) and mental health/depression, which me and many members of my family deal with as well. I feel incredibly inspired by your story.
The dress your daughter made for you ☺️. How wonderful!
THIS IS HOW YOU PARENT.
Acceptance is the only 'cure's that's needed.
Attempts to "fix" autistics is always for the benefit of non-autistics and never for the benefit of people who have autism
Autistic people have so much to offer and so many strengths with the way their minds work. We wouldn't be living in the world we live in now if it weren't for them and their remarkable abilities. However, those who would like a cure should, of course be able to seek one, but it should be because they want it, not because society makes them feel that they are not 'good enough' as they are. I believe that shifts in societal attitudes and the minor changes autistic people need in order to experience the world without the endless anxiety would be a huge step forward and I will always fight for that.
I am the state winner of geography bee I speak 12 languages I am a published writer i did my doctorate in law from Oxford I have a model as a wife ALL Achieved by a "Developmentally disabled child" maybe developmentally different
Awesome. I wish that everyone on the Spectrum could be given all the healing and support to experience the absolute best that they possibly can & have all their dreams come true. God is amazing and can help us all if we just ask of Him.
"a lable or diagnosis should be a reference point.". It's also how you get public aid for disability.
I've studied Autism for over 20 years, including inside the brain.
In an autistic mind the greatest variation is in the occipital lobes at the back of the brain. PhD. Thomas Armstrong shares the variation makes the brain work in a systematic way. PhD. Thomas Armstrong supports neurodiversity and argues against other professionals who oppose it.
• Routines
• Detailed
• Overloaded with information and shutdown
• Controlled environments
• Uncomfortable with changes
• Consistency
• Not tied to social expectations
• IT/Architecture/Music/Mathematics etc. all the jobs Autistic people are great at is something that has structure and a system to it.
Creative girls on the spectrum are known to have huge imaginations that they can come up with something new every single day.
we should still have a cure for people who want it. i have autism and i would love a cure
👍10/14/17 Wow, such an amazing woman and mother! I saw the Kingdom Of Us on Netflix about her & her children dealing with her husband’s suicide. I find it so interesting that none of the children seem to have autism at all and definitely not in the way that I’ve previously experienced or seen people who have been diagnosed with autism here in the USA. They seem quite “normal” and certainly more normal that some of the so called “normal” people that I know...including myself. This has me so interested and motivated to learn more about autism.
I love this woman! NO cure they are Star Children specially gifted and incredible humans.
What's in this mug? Toasted up, no I ain't hostin'! All in my lap because they don't wanna roll it! I was sliding in the Lamb' with the powerglide, slime green paint, peanut butter inside!
what I observed is that one of the most hateful groups towards autistic people is the anti-vax movement. some of them will even straight up admit they'd rather have their children die from a preventable diseasr than have autism while I can't understand it at all. like sure, there are areas of my life that have been nerfed by it but overall I'm doing well, better than many "healthy" people around me.
What a brilliant woman! So nice to see she is wearing the dress her daughter made ❤
I recommend the groups ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network), AADP, and NCIL (National Council on Independent Living) which are ran by disabled people for disabled people. I look forward to the day when we control non-profits and government agencies that pertain to our needs.
May I suggest the word ‘disabled people’ to ‘special people’😊
Thank you for this.
Lovely Speech. Well done.
Thank you so much. Generic term "neuro-divergent drives innovation"'. Lovely. You are a great speaker, and a joy to observe. In you I see my mother, who recognized my autism early on, and I can recall times when she addressed it, full on. Thank goodness she was a musician and shred her piano with us.
came here ...after watching "kingdom of us" which made me cry repetedly .. and overwhelmed me with the power of sharing and life ... thank you thank you vicky ..for making the documentary and giving hope ,showing strength ..
Just watched a documentary on Netflix about the Shanks family (The kingdom of us) what a beautiful people! I wish all the best for all of them hope all their dreams come true! :)
dont believe "professionals" - there are tons of tedx videos of people who overcame their autism and now have better lives, ie Carly Fleischmann.
we should focus on enabling them and using their talents, then maybe one day they will take us to the stars.
You are very inspiring madam!!! Keep it up.
I don't understand why any parent wouldn't want a normal life for their kids? My child has indicated he wants to speak.
I don’t want to be “normal”, and if I had children I would not want them to be “normal”.
BECAUSE WE ARE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN AND ADULTS.
What an inspiring woman!
+Kimberley Owen (CraftBeerPinUp) Thank you Kimberly! xx
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 KJV
Jesus lives
Jesus Christ is Lord
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:23
Jesus loves you repent
You're a sinner in need of a Savior
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Romans 10:9-10 KJV
The family mus be loaded to put 7 kids through private education and then arts courses at college.... huge house. Where does a single mother get the money from? Not an 'average' family from a financial perspective.
I have to assume you haven't actually watched the film? When my husband took his own life he left me with over £1m in debt, I fought hard and worked hard to keep the children in the house which is very run down due to lack of funds but at least they had a secure base. I am now facing bankruptcy and homelessness as the huge mortgage on the house comes to an end in January and I have no way of paying it off. Please don't judge people without all of the facts x
Watch Kingdom of Us on Netflix about this family, it is honest and inspiring.
I love the Addams family! Don’t knock it!
I understand her children are fine, but your not talking about the nonverbal ones, or those who don't want autism. And theirs a lot. I have seen a video on a channel called The Doctors, which has a woman who claims her daughers been cured through a somewhat shady treatment. It did seem to produce results with what I've researched.
@Quinn Brophy With what? I'm not complaining that her kids are doing great, I'm saying only those who are able to communicate are saying they don't want a cure, and we need to acknowledge this.
It's fine if you don't want one, but if one were there, it wouldn't be a bad thing. It'd just be an option people could ignore.
Who are you to decide that non-speaking autistic people will have a terrible quality of life because of their autism?
LANGWIDGE… (car lock smiley over there)
You're a really good mum. And you're really brave. You made me cry. I feel like I've finally found the missing piece of my chaotic puzzled life. I'm 100% sure I'm autistic, just realised it by myself at 26 years old. I hope I could stumble across a "not so bad" doctor that could "confirm" it not finally feel a bit of peace and freedom. I really wish you the best and I hope one day I will have the honour to met you. Thank you for beign a super human being.
Nice dress....Great talk...
I agree ma'am
. We have 2 autistic boys
One mid range functioning one low functioning
We are trying to improve the quality of their lives and make our lives a little easier on a daily basis
Please Any tips I have a child which is autistic and not much help in the UK for me yet.. He is still young and am trying to learn understand so I can help please anyone who can help with any Informations, tips, how they think see the world what it is how to help them develop etc
Kingdom of Us is a documentary that truly changed my way of thinking about my autistic husband, children and grandchild. I’m so grateful for it. I encourage all to watch it.
We have to be close to the detail of 'different' to se the positives as well as the minuses. We live in a world of divided concious entities bound together by a loose 'almost propaganda led' society. This lady has reared some very remarkable people. They may not think the same way as a majority of people. But what I have discovered is the majority of people are those most easily led by programming by the media. It is the people who are different who add most to human advantage. Creativity, new ideas, looking at things a bit different. These things break the spell of slumber. I know for real some of this lady's children. The ones I have met and worked with have extraordinary skills which I do not see readily or commonly elsewhere. They have enriched my own life and made me think profoundly about the world we live in. Well done Vikie for being the champion, not just of your family, but looking again at, and making the effort to get a message over to as many as you can, that all people have something extraordinary to offer. We must look around ourselves closer and see the beauty of how life creates people with different perspectives so that collectively we can learn so much more about this place we all share called... reality. A strong lady who isn't just talking it. She's livied it and is living it. mol
Vikie its such a amazing woman.
Made me cry, your kids are amazing and that dress is BEAUTIFUL
Thank you Vikie Shanks, this is so powerful
being nurtured and supported helps us grow into people able to care for ourselves. Of course we need a stimulating and challenging intellectual environment, so we learn to think for ourselves, but being supported goes a long way, and I don't just mean charity I mean schooling designed to help us learn in a way that suits us, but challenges us in a realistic way. I think this woman is truly right. She is not babying us, or diminishing us she is not saying suffering is inherent to our minds. I feel sorry for all who have internalized ableism, and who blame their brain for a problem with a society built around average brains
Anne Llewellyn,
I've studied Autism for over 20 years, once I began studying Autism as an 8 year old it became an interest of mine and still is today.
Even though I'm not a qualified ASD Specialist I'm all over online Autism communities helping parents understand their children. I've always been telling them to stop focusing so much on weaknesses and help them use their strengths so they don't sabotage themselves into believing they have so little potential.
Each time people have told me these conditions are disabilities I asked them;
"What's a disability?" They then say things like something that causes difficulties, limitations, disadvantages etc.
I then ask them "doesn't that mean humanity is a disability then? Every human being has difficulties, disadvantages by things like age and size, limitations by limited energy.
I tell them we're simply part of "The Human Spectrum".
I like how PhD. Thomas Armstrong says we're not Disabled but Differently-Abled.
...besides *your own children* and also *your own children* , maybe also *your own children* don´t you think some *"others"* might benefit from any form of treatment, besides *your own children* ?
I watched Kingdom of us and searched an update on the family. I was so impressed by how free they were to discuss things with mum and each other. They each had a voice. So many children don't. Vickie is beautiful, strong and brilliantly articulate.
I was a mum to 4 kids and people used to say 'god, your house must be noisy'. But it was often silent. What we didn't know was that me and all my kids were neurodivergent. Get them talking about their special interests and the indepth, loud, excited, witty and intellectual conversations would go on for hours, into the early hours of the morning sometimes. But often they were in their own worlds, engrossed in their special interests of writing, drawing, reading, watching documentaries on their laptops, playing video games with their headphones on and messaging each other on discord or WhatsApp as they would rather type than be verbal as they loved the calm of a quiet house. I should have known the kids were ND but I was too so to me it was all "normal' because thats how I was too.
@vickie shanks - i watched "kingdom of us" last night,, which is how i found your TEDxtalk. what a beautiful story. you and all of your kids and even their dad are some of the most wonderful, loving, sensitive, creative people i have ever seen. your children are beautiful. i had no idea t hey were autistic until i watched your talk. i admire you for your incredible strength and patience with everything you've been through. simply amazing! best wishes to you all!
Vicki, you are an amazing person. I admire you so much and your children are simply lovely. Be happy.
if I was offered a cure to autism right now, I would immediately take it. The people around me all know about my autism and several quirks. My work is very good with it too. But when you just get exhausted from the way the sun is shining or the way the brakes on a car squeak and all these tiny things every bloody day. You just want to start screaming and hitting the things that cause the discomfort. I have never done such a thing but I have collapsed in fits or tears at home every week since I was 12. If that could be taken away... give it to me now!
Juliette de Visser I would too, but what is happening now isn’t working, it’s making it worse
I have extremely mild Aspergers and want a cure soooo bad. Aspergers has stolen a life that I once had. I’m now emotionless. Please cure me.
@@taylorh.3484 focusing on a cure won’t do any good. It’s your brain structure and genetics, that can never be changed, at least without completely changing who you are as a person. And maybe that is what you want, but even then it won’t happen anytime soon. I’m tired of other autistic people internalizing ableism! It’s not your brain that’s the problem, but a environment designed to support average people and not us! We have a completely different set of capabilities than average people, and as such it is useless to compare us to them. We thrive when we are supported and not forced to conform to a society not made for us. About the emotionless part. That is not completely uncommon with asd, I experience it too. It’s called emotional blunting or detachment, and with people who have autism, it’s usually caused by not being supported when we were young, being forced to conform or meet expectations not made for us (or other trauma). It leaves us almost emotionally stunted. But it’s not hopeless obviously, you just need a good therapist with a good understanding off asd, who you also connect with, plus a good psychiatrist who can address possible systemic lack of dopamine.
@@taylorh.3484 What do you mean once had? Aspergers is not something you get later in life, its something that is usually noticeable early in life.
How does it make you emotionless?
@@shadowyzephyr An unknown/little known mental health issue called Maladaptive Daydreaming repeatedly used logic, reasoning, critical thinking in a continuous/never ending loop and over the course of 6 years, caused my Aspergers to change. I ended up getting brainwave training and now I’m emotionless. I’m an android. I also see the world as abstract now. I can’t react to anything. My life is gone.
Watch this & change your perceptions. Be thankful for divergence in our Society and the benefits we all ultimately experience as a result. Thank you for sharing Vikie 🤓 PJ
Heyyyyy. Im autistic too. What’s the architectural firm? Im an interior designer. Could you gimme the architects name and stuff? Pleaseeeeeeeee
Merci pour l’autisme. Je viens de regarder le documentaire… maman énormément compresiva e adorable avec ces enfants… j’ai u garçon autis de 29 ans, mais avec un lourd handicapé. Énormément forte, belle et avec beaucoup de amour. Un grand respect et j’ai t’embrasse énormément. Exemple à suivre… les enfants ils sont tellement entourés pour toi, que l’ handicap, n’est pas évident. Je voudrais un peux de ton courage… je voudrais te retrouver. Merci pour ton lección de amour . Je t’aime 🫶❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful smart children you have and you are the best Mom too, wish you and your family all the best!
I just watched kingdom of us, a heartbreaking doc, felt sad about what happened but learned so much as well, the world owes much from the shanks family life lessons
This is wonderful. Thank you!
It's usually more common to promote a lifestyle than a set of characteristics.
These new kids on the block are the new humans Kryon talks about by Lee Carroll. They have advanced DNA here to help humanity shift perceptions on what is possible in our current way of being I am grateful they are here now. The future looks awesome with their presence here now.
YES IT IS TIME. Thank you so much for this powerful speech
Inspiring and amazing
+Will Hull Thank you Will
amazying you and your children are!!! Thank you for your inspiration!!!
I just watched your talk 3rd time and it’s the best talk ever! Thank you Vikie!!!!! 😘😘😘
I just watched “kingdom of us” on Netflix! I’m crying actually 😭😭😭 I want me to have more kids! 😁 I one have one! 😩 I so scared of life!
So encouraging
My son is autistic and very good at study others envy him.
Hi wll done to your son, my son just got diagnosed and I am a little concerned can you please share any tips for me as a parent ? When did he start talking? Was he ever behind neurologically
As a parent of an autistic child - like most worried parents I watched hours and hours of youtube videos trying to inform myself as quickly as I could about what I was in for, what to expect, what to look for, and how to react and to help my child. The raw honesty of this talk was by FAR the most helpful thing. I've been worried sick about writing my child off and her moment of vulnerability, of honesty and hope, I can't even put into words... it saved me.
Thank you Vikie, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Bless you.
Thank you so much for this, my main goal for the talk was to give hope to people that their children were far more able than they could ever imagine when they were young. You've made my day by saying the talk helped you, I'm in awe of people on the Spectrum, they are wonderful, honest, beautiful people. You will watch your child blossom over the years xx
@@vikieshanks You're a champion of a mother, a champion for autistic people, and an absolute angel. Keep being you.
One who does not know and thinks he/she knows is-dangerous.
We must listen to those who were not afraid to see and think differently - and have found so much value
I am an aspie with ADHD and dsylexia, I have created a wonderful way of people to learn languages which will help people communicate and save trillions worldwide with translation services for authorities. Loads of inventions, ideas for people to do things, create jobs with new business ideas for people. But here in Sweden I am not getting any help, they say my ideas are too big and because I can't do a business plan, I'm stuck being unemployed, but they want me to get a job, but there are no jobs so I want to start a company, but because my ideas are bigger they won't start bringing in money straight away, they won't help me. Is there anyone out there that can help me?
I believe in you! Im an aspire stuck in the middle of American society. It’s hard to function when your pressured to be someone else. But I believe we can always fin the right support and succeed!
An entire family of beautiful geniuses.
Beautiful, incredible children! My moderately autistic son is beautiful, and incredible too. I'm doing everything I can to build him up, because he has amazing potential!
It's refreshing to see this and the comments after feeling frustrated at watching a video that demonized autism as if I were defective and getting disheartened at the comments. I am so sick of people's ignorance. Just because someone is different doesnt mean they need to be fixed. From my experience most autistic people's struggles come from other people's treatment of them. I have many struggles as does everyone, and I have many skills. I do not need a cure and acting as if being autistic is a fate worse than death as many people do is heartbreaking and contributed to years of self hatred and confusion. The world needs to change. Nobody would tolerate this treatment of any other minority group on this scale in this day and age.
I agree, it's nice to see a positive comment section not talking down to people with autism.
However, I think you're wrong about people not tolerating this treatment of other minority groups -- there are other groups that get similar or worse treatment, unfortunately.
Is a strong woman. I am crying. And I think right now: I do not need to be happy. I need to be STRONG.
Your daughters and your son are perfect people.
I am sorry. I am brazilian and live in Brazil and do not understand english, a lot.
I want this family and others being very happy.
Thank u for documentary.
Vikie - you have THE most beautiful & Extraordinarily loving Family. Striking the kindness, patience and care all the Siblings would give one another. Quite a striking contrast to my own. Quite.
Should be neuro exceptional, not divergent
No, saying that makes it sound better than it is, which is frankly just as harmful to the people it's describing. It makes it sound as if life with autism or other conditions is easy, when in reality in can be harder to fit into the world because of problems in society, and lack of things that people expect.
Thank you Vikie Shanks for sharing. Thank you ALL
Inspiring woman, inspiring children, inspiring film
Much respect to this lady
Truly lovely message worth living by for sure.
Vikie, You have cracked the glass floor and gained a grounding. You have made it to the stage so that many may hear your story over just a few. I see. Thank you for your honesty and your courage. Thank you to the network that helped Nikita+ family escape the pity,the trophies/ the medal iconography, negative wordography /spiral to move towards a communication system that is more precise , kind and resourceful across the board (mutually) so that we may support. Language/silence always carries a anchor ,a embrace a sting or a kindness,, and we are trying to be better without getting obsessive or intolerant,, Why does math get all the fun :) . I know this is hard work ,, but we do not like to lose children, teens or youth, anyone, for that matter. OR wildlife, plants and marine life. Ohh sorry expanding more... Don't read if this is too open for you but also do not forget if you have a quiet/reflective moment in your life to think of this idea.
7 is a big number in a family and , 3 has its' problems too. I do so regret bringing up this number system but i feel you may be open and it is important to ? due to your reach. Ok? thank you . The nature of family dynamics, in large families, in a complex 360 world 2016 , as well as the limited, more narrow family, two adults plus a child and the new gender diverse family unit , step parents model dynamic plus everything in between should be discussed openly and honestly. We are seriously open in our permissions and experiments right now and maybe we want to talk, balance without yelling, or calling it gender bias or this or that. Just seriously come together and think about it, talk. I have no preference but this is our world and family means a lot,, Marketers use it, sit coms, etc. i believe it is core to our being and hence I would like to open the topic beyond the Iconic. ... . ,,, next TED talk. On a lighter note--The dress your daughter designed is fabulous,,Sincerely spoken!
Secondly, I would not agree that people are made for computers,,, Silicon Valley successful candidates live there... More,, we should know that humans lead computers and evolution might not look like us growing more robotic to keep up with Tech rev. Please remember the assembly line of factories that destroyed tailors, carvers,,and ended up setting people into mindless repetitive lines for the sake of progress and produce,, even children (Shame!) . If we gain more time, we are going to use it to make better tech,, rather than enjoy family or go kayaking because computers stimulate, really stimulate,, efficiency factor flat is the high of tech.. And we thought marijuana was the problem. The Organic Brain needs to be respected next to the tech age or we will foolishly create more than we need. . Vikie has opened the door to a sterling discussion. Great Thanks!!!!
Thank you Donna, we do need an awful lot more discussion and understanding before we can really get anywhere. My children grew up in the mud with no computers until they were older and no TV's in their rooms, it did them the world of good as they can now communicate very well in spite of their difficulties. Let's get the discussion going! x
i support your parenting style for the gradual integration of technology, Tv while first offering up real time experiences, sensorial roller coaster rides in the early years. Well done and thank you for your vision. Yes, we need to know more especially if we would like some semblance of control/balance over the experiences, and development of children in a tech driven, info age, globalized environment. Colonization taught us much let us now analyze the big sister , or big brother to this,, Globalization, and not simply accept progress for its own sake. We are the guardians of the planet along with many other species. With great intellect , resources and passion comes great responsibility...humans. Thanks again Vicki for your thoughts, Stellar!
Those conversations needs to stop. Yes stop
thank you for you video💪💃