Exactly! We have raised 6 children, two who are severe cases of RAD and SMI Severe Mental Illness. Jane and anyone else who experiences this most difficult life, we feel your pain, discouragement, helplessness, the list goes on. As parents of now adult children, we know that life, as well as some victories. Thank you for sharing yourself. Take care of yourself. Gail
This stuff is no joke. My two sisters were adopted at 12 and 13. They would triangulate between my parents. They manipulated my mother and made it a living hell for her and the rest of us. They played mind games with everybody. One day, the younger sister was breaking things and making holes in the wall with her head. My mother yelled for me, a 13 year old, to restrain my sister. I locked her into my arms and the strangest thing happened. She calmed down instead of going ballistic. Later, we found out that RAD children never feel secure and safe. Holding them tight makes them feel protected. Our family went through hell and back. We will never be the same. There are still issues, 15 years later, but all that good my parents did to them was remembered and showed up later in their lives. Don't be discouraged, doing good to your adopted kids! They will rarely respond to it because they are afraid of showing weakness but they are affected. Have a warm iron heart for them. Don't let it get scoured but don't let it get cold. It takes time.
This is the nightmare we have been dealing with too! We have adopted 2 children with RAD & ODD. We have gone through several therapists, but no real changes. It brings chaos into our marriage & home. Our finances are falling apart because of all of the problems from our 2 adopted children. I feel like we were taken advantage of by the adoption agencies passing these kids onto us saying that everything will be perfectly normal in a year or two, that kids are resilient & will not even have that many issues in a couple of years. They were wrong!! Now they are teenagers they are turning their lives upside down & creating chaos in my wife & I's lives. They are exhibiting the same criminal behaviors that their natural parents had, even after 10+ years of doing all that we could do to help & love them. They both run away, have sexual misconduct, they're defiant, won't tell us where they're at, they threaten to kill us in our sleep & verbally abuse us, they lie & steal, and more! We are at the end of our ropes! Our home doesn't even feel safe anymore. We feel like DCFS is like a bad car salesman trying to get rid of the most defective cars by saying they are in great condition, while hiding the risks & possible problems from adopting kids with trauma & abuse. I do feel bad for these kids, it wasn't fair or right that they were born into bad families. If you're planning on adopting be aware of all the possible problems you'll be stuck with legally, financially, socially, and mentally because of your adopted children's behavior, especially when they are teenagers! Be prepared to have your heart broken & possibly lose them because they're genetically like their parents with the same tendencies, personality, & weaknesses. Many times you will feel that the bond between you is no more valuable to them than with a boss or school teacher. They won't be & act like your family because they don't have the same genetic makeup as you even if you adopt them as babies! There is much more to the risks of adoption than is mentioned here. Just be careful before you proceed with doing a adoption!
We feel your pain. We adopted both of our children. We adopted our 13 year old when he was 6 years old and he was still in diapers and had been severely neglected. He has been diagnosed with RAD, ODD, ASD, etc. He betrays us at every turn and his false allegations have caused us thousands in attorney fees and despite 41 pages of emails from the school psychologist, his own psychiatrist, several therapists, school principal, teachers, etc, CPS still went after us. We never expected to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for adopting him but we were shocked to see how the juvenile dependency court went after us. It's caused rifts in our family because our own family members don't believe us and our son has caused us nothing but problems. We recently got a golden retriever puppy hoping that it would help him since he appeared to be good with animals but we've witnessed several incidences of him abusing the puppy. His birth parents are dirtbags and he is following in their footsteps in every way. He was recently diagnosed as a pathological liar and we expect calls from the school where he makes false accusations against us all over again. RAD kids have no loyalty and they don't appreciate a thing that you do for them. We have locks on all of our doors and safes to keep our valuables safe. No amount of treatment has worked for him and we've already spent a fortune trying to help him. Hope things work out for you. Thank God for support groups. Without them, we would have lost it long ago.
Oh my god you should not have adopted children, talking about them like they’re defective cars when they’re the result of abuse or neglect from another human being is unbelievable
I'm sending love and compassion to all with RAD children! ❤ YOU MUST DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU AND OTHER CHILDREN IN THE HOME!
Exactly! We have raised 6 children, two who are severe cases of RAD and SMI Severe Mental Illness. Jane and anyone else who experiences this most difficult life, we feel your pain, discouragement, helplessness, the list goes on. As parents of now adult children, we know that life, as well as some victories. Thank you for sharing yourself. Take care of yourself. Gail
This stuff is no joke. My two sisters were adopted at 12 and 13. They would triangulate between my parents. They manipulated my mother and made it a living hell for her and the rest of us. They played mind games with everybody. One day, the younger sister was breaking things and making holes in the wall with her head. My mother yelled for me, a 13 year old, to restrain my sister. I locked her into my arms and the strangest thing happened. She calmed down instead of going ballistic. Later, we found out that RAD children never feel secure and safe. Holding them tight makes them feel protected. Our family went through hell and back. We will never be the same. There are still issues, 15 years later, but all that good my parents did to them was remembered and showed up later in their lives. Don't be discouraged, doing good to your adopted kids! They will rarely respond to it because they are afraid of showing weakness but they are affected. Have a warm iron heart for them. Don't let it get scoured but don't let it get cold. It takes time.
Thanks for sharing that.
Thank you
This is the nightmare we have been dealing with too! We have adopted 2 children with RAD & ODD. We have gone through several therapists, but no real changes. It brings chaos into our marriage & home. Our finances are falling apart because of all of the problems from our 2 adopted children. I feel like we were taken advantage of by the adoption agencies passing these kids onto us saying that everything will be perfectly normal in a year or two, that kids are resilient & will not even have that many issues in a couple of years. They were wrong!! Now they are teenagers they are turning their lives upside down & creating chaos in my wife & I's lives. They are exhibiting the same criminal behaviors that their natural parents had, even after 10+ years of doing all that we could do to help & love them. They both run away, have sexual misconduct, they're defiant, won't tell us where they're at, they threaten to kill us in our sleep & verbally abuse us, they lie & steal, and more! We are at the end of our ropes! Our home doesn't even feel safe anymore. We feel like DCFS is like a bad car salesman trying to get rid of the most defective cars by saying they are in great condition, while hiding the risks & possible problems from adopting kids with trauma & abuse. I do feel bad for these kids, it wasn't fair or right that they were born into bad families. If you're planning on adopting be aware of all the possible problems you'll be stuck with legally, financially, socially, and mentally because of your adopted children's behavior, especially when they are teenagers! Be prepared to have your heart broken & possibly lose them because they're genetically like their parents with the same tendencies, personality, & weaknesses. Many times you will feel that the bond between you is no more valuable to them than with a boss or school teacher. They won't be & act like your family because they don't have the same genetic makeup as you even if you adopt them as babies! There is much more to the risks of adoption than is mentioned here. Just be careful before you proceed with doing a adoption!
We feel your pain. We adopted both of our children. We adopted our 13 year old when he was 6 years old and he was still in diapers and had been severely neglected. He has been diagnosed with RAD, ODD, ASD, etc. He betrays us at every turn and his false allegations have caused us thousands in attorney fees and despite 41 pages of emails from the school psychologist, his own psychiatrist, several therapists, school principal, teachers, etc, CPS still went after us. We never expected to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for adopting him but we were shocked to see how the juvenile dependency court went after us. It's caused rifts in our family because our own family members don't believe us and our son has caused us nothing but problems. We recently got a golden retriever puppy hoping that it would help him since he appeared to be good with animals but we've witnessed several incidences of him abusing the puppy. His birth parents are dirtbags and he is following in their footsteps in every way. He was recently diagnosed as a pathological liar and we expect calls from the school where he makes false accusations against us all over again. RAD kids have no loyalty and they don't appreciate a thing that you do for them. We have locks on all of our doors and safes to keep our valuables safe. No amount of treatment has worked for him and we've already spent a fortune trying to help him. Hope things work out for you. Thank God for support groups. Without them, we would have lost it long ago.
Oh my god you should not have adopted children, talking about them like they’re defective cars when they’re the result of abuse or neglect from another human being is unbelievable
@@randipandiable Until you have lived it you cannot understand!!!!!
Gosh - that poor woman 😢 look how traumatized and affected she still is 🫂💔
It's very scary. Hubby couldn't hack it?