So I'm a cis woman and never had to deal with anything trans. I didn't experience it myself and I never met anyone who had dealt or was dealing with being transgender (not to my knowledge anyways) but watching you over the last couple of years, reading your book, listening to you, has really educated me and has made me understand as much as it is possible to understand for someone cis. And I am so greatful for that for I know that if I ever meet anyone in my life who is transgender, a friend, a patient (I'm gonna be a doctor) or even my kid, I will be able to do right, to treat them with the respect they deserve and maybe even help them on their way, because you helped me understand. And this is huge. So thank you for everything you do.
The whole evolution of his dad's views on his transition is awesome, but one particularly awesome thing here is that his parents never tried to stop him. A l o t of parents do that. And because you can't transition, you don't change physically, so they don't grow to see you as the gender you are. So I'm very glad Alex got permission (even if he had to wait for acceptance) !
Oh my god you have no idea how much this helps. My dad knows but he doesn't use my preferred pronouns or name. I love him so much but I don't think he *fully* grasps it. I haven't talked to him about it since I came out but I have no idea how to move past this awkward thing we have.
1- do you have a cold or did your voice drop some more? 2- you’re looking extra hot with that pastel pink shirt and the sleeve tattoo and the blond hair. 3- did we finally get rid of the green walls? I like that corner. Feels cozy and looks cool. 4- thanks for sharing that amazing story, very touching. 5- hugs and kisses!
At this time, none of my family was using my name or pronouns. My grandma has always like...made a point of calling me and her other grandkids by our names. In my case, it was my birth name. I heard my birth name and female pronouns CONSTANTLY from her, and I had so many breakdowns about it. One day I was coming home from school and I was...actually planning on killing myself that night. And I went out to my deck to see my grandma and my brother (who was two at the time). And as soon as my brother saw me, he yelled my chosen name like...really excitedly. And I broke down sobbing. It was the first time I had heard it from him. My grandma had spent that entire day teaching him to call me by my chosen name instead of my birth name. That might have been the best moment of my life, honestly.
Interestingly I had a very similar experience with my dad coming to terms with my transition. My parents reacted quite badly to my transition when I first came out, and it was made harder due to cultural barriers (they're Chinese). My Dad took it harder emotionally, and couldn't sleep/eat for days, which made me really sad. As my transition progressed, my mum was more upfront about her opinions, but my dad tended to hide away. I feel like it took some adjustment for him to get used to treating me as a son rather than a daughter. Obviously, there shouldn't really be a difference there, but for him there was. I also noticed a shift in change once I started having physical changes. I think a large part of gaining my parent's acceptance was for them to see how 'okay' I turned out. Meaning, in the beginning, my parents really had little to no knowledge of what it meant to transition. They were very worried about me, and I think they feared that I would have a difficult life, and people would treat me differently. Once they could see for themselves that I was a completely passable guy, they were able to accept it more. Throughout this, my dad still never really spoke to me much about it all. He still hid his emotions, and I also never really opened up to him about my feelings. However, a significant moment was when he offered to pay for my top surgery. I had already planned to pay for it myself but he insisted. That action made me realise that he did care for me, even if he didn't have the words to say it. But what really landed with me was half a year ago when I got stage 1 of bottom surgery. This was several years after first coming out as trans. After telling them that this was going to happen, I was a bit afraid of their reaction as we hadn't even spoken of my trans stuff since top surgery 4/5 years prior. My mum was more vocal of course, and asked questions. My dad fidgeted in the background, kicking at the rug. Though reluctant, they accepted that it was my decision. Shortly after, I had a phone call with my dad. I remember him suddenly telling me on the phone 'We support you. You can do it. We're all behind you'. And I'll never forget that. What you've said is important, specifically the patience and acceptance of the way your parent's reacted, even if it wasn't all positive. Because it's the same for me. My parents had said/done some terrible things in the beginning, but I cannot hate them for it. They have loved me all along, and their negative initial reactions were all on the basis of loving me, and fearing for me. With time, patience, and honesty, they have come a long way. My whole family had my back when I went into bottom surgery, literally staying with me during my hospital stay/recovery. And to think that several years ago I literally thought that them kicking me out of the house was a viable outcome. Stories of our parents like these show how much things can change, and how what seems like rock bottom can turn out completely differently in the future.
My dad did the same with the "no name" part mate, it seems quite common with dads! Thank you for being such an inspiration for my transition! I have my initial consultation for top surgery soon!
I had a similar thing with my brother Will a while ago. We went to this go-karting place and the counter guy asked if anyone in our family had done it before and Will just said ‘Oh yeah my brother has’ and I just had this moment of “wait wha-OMG HE MEANS ME” :D Honestly I was in such a happy mood the whole day 😅
I've been watching you for years, back when your channel had your birthname in it and I'm so amazed by how far you've come in your life. You had a few thousand subscribers and now you have a book out :o i honestly feel kinda proud
I'm ftm and it feels like my dad will never use the right name, pronouns or ever see me as his son. But this video has given me hope that one day he will. Thanks Alex!
I bought the book as soon as I could so I knew a lot of this but it's totally different hearing him actually saying it. It's so much more emotional than just reading words on a page. I LOVED this video!
Thank you, I really needed this. I’m a year and one month since coming out and my parents are both still at the stage you were describing for your dad at the beginning. As an only child, I don’t have the benefit of a sibling to force the new name and I’m struggling to stay positive. I don’t want to be seen with my parents in public as they will deliberately misgender me, often right before going into a public toilet. But hearing it does get better gives me a glimmer of hope. And yes please to that in depth video. I could really do with it.
Dont give up, keep going, our parents are like a lottery and you don't always win. I'm new to all this as I am a parent of a tiny 5 year old trans boy. He let us know who he really was age 1!!!! He is luckier than you as we fully accept who he is. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be you xxx
My older brother used my new name and pronouns the day I told him too! Siblings must just be much more accepting sometimes. Also my mum called up when they cancelled my T appointment using all types of pronouns haha
I really love that your happy to talk openly about this conversation. Your doing such important work and I’m just so proud to have been able to watch you over the past several years ❤️
My parents, when I talked to them, my dad made it clear that he was never going to see me the way I wanted him to and my mom didn't say much of anything until a long while later and said she would support me. However, both of them agreed that they would not ever help me. Won't use my name or pronoun, won't be there for me when I go to the doctor, and they wont help me pay or raise the money for my top surgery or hormones. I have gotten to where I'm able to get them to listen when I need someone to talk to right away about hormones or binding, but that's it. Listening to your story helps a lot. The day I asked my parents to use a different name and maybe even a pronoun is one day I cant forget. The way my dad denied everything instantly just makes my heart drop 6 feet under every time I remember. Your story shows a light of hope, it may not get better for me, but it is definitely nice to know that the possibility of growing acceptance is out there and it has happened. It has been 2 year since I came out to my parents by the way. My only actual support has been my boyfriend, but he is always away at a different college so I hardly get to see him. :( Here's hoping that things improve. Also, saved up for doctor visit for hormones, had a shitty time dealing with picking up those hormones on my own, so I went to my dad and I was genuinely surprised that he was such a big help. Yet, after taking them for two weeks I started having a bad reaction. No idea why really but I am taking it in the form of patches so it might be something about the patch itself and not the hormones, but i am terribly worried now. It's a crazy long drive to see the doctor just find out what is going on in addition to me being very low on money. It's been pretty bad the last few months with that in addition to everything else in my life. Currently trying to attend college, haven't been able to afford a name change yet, so when I walk in a classroom for the first time I might or might not get a sit, but the second they hear my birth name that dream dies. Been avoiding a lot because of my transition. I just hope that once I'm actually able to transition that I wont feel like something is hold me back anymore. Got way off topic there, I guess, once again thanks for the video. :)
This video left me in tears and the occasional chuckle, I’m so proud of you and your journey. Even through all the downfalls, you grabbed this and grew stronger. To Alex’s beard!
Discovering your channel on RUclips a few years ago helped me be more understanding of my trans friends whenever I would get frustrated at them for getting frustrated with me for not jumping straight to using their preferred pronouns or name. You’re such a wonderful human being and you really have a great way of helping people understand those who are going through their transitions and what they’re experiencing that we can’t always grasp
I loved your ending and how you've said some people will never get it and that's okay 💖 I don't think many people in my family will ever get it but it'll be okay in the end. Thanks for uploading Alex 😊 just bought your book
I recently came out to my parents with a letter and my dad's reaction is very similar to yours, that gives me so much hope for the future. thank you so much alex for sharing it!!
I’m kind of in that stage at the moment where my dad avoids gendering me when talking to other people, I get you completely - it’s very weird but also amazing :)
I've watched you for years now and can't help but feel deeply for you. It makes me so happy to see your happiness because for a while there it seemed that we might not get the chance... as I'm sure you had that same fear then. I'm so excited to keep watching you and your family. Much love (and great video, as always)!
I can remember watching your videos a few years ago and once you came out it pushed me to come out to my family too. We sort of went through a similar experience! I'm so proud of you man.
This is heart warming to hear how your dad came around and is now supportive of you 💖 I needed this because my week hasn’t been the best and just hearing a good success story makes me happy,I love you Alex so so so much
so proud Alex. I've watched your videos for a very long time and your journey has been an incredible one. Despite having their struggles your parents seem to have been a lot better than many when it comes to growing to understand and accept, though I'm sure you may not have felt so during the conflict. It's great that you and your dad were both patient and kept working on your relationship until you finally got to a point where you could see eye to eye. That moment of him calling you his son ruined me! At the end of the day you're his baby and i'm so glad that that love eventually came out on top. x
I can REALLY understand everything youre saying bc the story with my dad almost went exactly the same, right now he's just started to like "defend" me and help me transition after almost 3 years after coming out and almost going on T. Its amazing
I've been here watching you before and during your transition and it helped me so much with mine. Before telling my parents i would just sob like a moron to your videos. I was feeling like a part of me that i felt but somehow knew i was missing was finally found and it had a name. Now here i am past 49 days since my top surgery and almost 2 years on hormones, i have no one that uses female pronouns or my dead name and i have a 2 year relationship with my feyfriend that is better then anything i could have evee dreamed of..thank you Alex for helping me be able to get to this point. ^-^
Loved this video! Been watching through it all and even since BEFORE you came out as trans. Go Hollie for her instant acceptance. Yay dad too. My dad an I have a difficult relationship and haven’t spoken in two years. This gives me faith it’ll one day right itself. Thankyou!
Hi Alex, so I bought your book last year and it arrived just in time for my trip home for christmas. That trip didn't go to well but having your book there in that space was a great help to me at the time. Likewise this video comes just after I came out to my parents and it didn't go well but this has given me a stronger sense that even if we can't make things work right now, there may well come a time when that changes and that is't not some sort of terrible mistake on my part to keep pushing forward in physically realising my gender without first having their acceptance. Figuring out I might need to do that was really hard but this video has helped me accept that not only is it what is best for me but it may also be exactly the right thing to help them understand. Thank you, really deeply thank you.
Alex, I've been watching you since you were fifteen and watching your journey has been so incredible. I'm so proud of you, I can't find the words? I'm so happy things have got to this point and to see your videos where you were at your lowest, to where you are now, is so inspiring and brave. Amazing amazing human. ❤️
I remember coming out to my parents and it was roughly the same. Both of them weren't necessarily unsupportive but after coming out, I felt like they just wanted to ignore the issue and hope it would go away on its own. The only thing that actually changed their mind was when I told them I was suicidal and I'd been hurting myself. From that point forward, they did their best to help me transition. It took a couple years in my case, but I totally agree with your statement telling people that their parents may come around. Sometimes, it seems very hopeless but things do get better with time.
It’s amazing hearing your journey with your transition and your father, I am experiencing the same with with my father right now.I’ve had so many conversations that I’ve seen no light at the end of the tunnel with. Both of my parents know how I feel being ftm but it’s very difficult for them to grasp my reasoning. Even if I say raw things that aren’t good it still doesn’t click for them.I am 18 and trying to get my social and medical transition going and the only family that I can openly talk about my binder, dysphoria and transitioning in general is my younger sister and my grandfather. Father’s Day was difficult for me because constantly my father and I are off track and it’s been that way since I was 15, which hurts my heart because I remember a time where it wasn’t like that. I hope one day he can see me as a son and we can fix this gap that’s been between us for years. Thanks Alex :-)
This was a great video Alex! It was my dad who reacted worst when I came out and now we don't speak (I haven't seen him in 7 years) so I'm very happy that yours was fighting your corner when you needed him! ^_^
I came out a day ago to my mum. And while I feel that it was uncomfortable and overall a mediocre experience what I can do is hold onto the one or two good things that happened in the conversation and wait and hope that eventually she and my dad will fully understand. I've also got to remind myself that I took a huge step even though it doesn't feel like it, I've made a start. Thanks for the video it was really helpful especially so soon after I've come out to a family member. I would really like to see another video about the process of helping your parents understand.
This is literally my current relationship with my dad. The first three minutes of this video is pretty much my life. I'm about to start T, and I had to catch him off guard and ask him if he was okay and if he had any questions. He didn't want to know anything about it, and he flat out told me that he was just hoping that the day would come when this was a phase that would go away in time. Unfortunately I live with him and I'm not financially secure enough to move out on my own and make this easier on both of us (due to my inability to find a doctor for the last three years, I've been uncomfortable with the idea of getting a job). Kind of hoping that eventually my situation turns around in a similar way too. Kudos to you Alex, you're an amazing person and your videos really help me see my situation more objectively, because now I know I'm not alone.
thanks for sharing this reminded me that my brother will probably accept me when i come out to him and my parents' reactions will probably be better with time
your book made me both smile and cry, I loved it so much and it was very helpful, I'm going to come out to my dad in a few days and I'm super scared but your experience gives me hope that it's gonna be fine after a while
I think one of the things that set you, Alex, above other transgender youtubers is the honesty and straightforwardness you present in your videos. You will grow older, maybe stop vlogging, but your videos will be an inspiration, a map, a 'happy ending' cautionary tale for generations to come. For that alone, you should be thanked !
It's so nice to hear someone talking about how their parent used no name or pronouns. This is what my mum is currently and has been the past year since I came out and I've never had someone be able to relate to so thank you for this video
Honestly, even if my dad does one day accept me, and use the name and pronouns I prefer, I'm going to have to put up with wildly offensive 'jokes' and be given out to and called a snowflake any time I feel brave enough to stand up for myself
I also went through many years of getting my Dad to accept I am gay and to accept my (now) husband. I really didn't think that my Dad would accept my relationship to be the same as my married straight brothers. But eventually he did, my husband and I have been together 30 years now. My Dad passed in 2015, but we were able to reconnect and after my mom passed in 2009, I think my Dad reaccessed what was important in life. He saw that if I was happy, being gay just didn't matter, it's just who I am.
I literally remember watching the video when you announced that you were going on testosterone. It feels like not even that long ago, but it was like 2 years ago. You've changed so much! You've come so far, I'm so proud of you!
i ask my stepmom about my dad every so often and then i go dark again for months after hearing he still doesn’t understand i’m gay. i’m glad some people have accepting parents. it is devastating for life having parents who overtly or covertly do not accept you. it’s hard to extend grace even though i understand them as people
I love this video! Ive been a subscriber of yours for years and years and you've come so far. My father never seems to undersrand transgender when its mentioned on TV ect. I try my best to tell him about using correct words when talking about how people identify but I still have some work to do. By the way, you look so bloody good! 😍😍😍
I think it's really interesting to hear stories about different people and how they "came to terms" with their lgbt+ loved ones. It seems to be common that some people aren't necessarily completely against it in the beginning but take time to actually get on board and GET IT. Thanks for sharing this very personal story.
i’m do glad that your dad came around eventually, whether he accepts it or not, he’s respectful of your name and pronouns and it’s so cool!! i’m so happy for you. seeing you transition and slowly but surely become happier has been incredible to see 💙
OMG no word of a lie rigth here u was in waterstones today looking for books ans=d i came across your one i have been reading it for a couple of hours now ( i am dyslexic) and it is so helpfull for me beacuse i have came out to people i know and some are less supportive than others hope you have a great day all
Thank you for this video. I’m 15, nearly 16, and have been watching your videos since I was in sixth grade. I’m going through some of the same things you detailed in the video. One of the major things is the “pronoun gap,” as I like to call it! This video, and your videos in general give me hope that some day, things will change for me. Lots of love from Cape Cod!
Thank you so much for this video. I'm having pretty much the same experience that you had right now (my dad pretty much said the same stuff that you said but also compared being trans to a desexed cat, which you know is just great). But thanks for giving me hope for the future.
I think most people think before they come out that their parents are gonna have very polarizing opinions. They think either theyll be yelled at and kicked out or like embraced and fully accepted right away. But honestly, i think 90% its much more complex than that bc humans are more complex. When i came out to my mom as a lesbian at 13 she said it was fine and that she loved me anyway, but we didnt talk about it for 3 years bc she would never let me. It was only after I got my hair cut short and I decided to have a heart to heart conversation with her that it got better, and it STILL had a LOT of missteps and even fights sometimes (especially about my masculine looks). My dad and my siblings were a whole other thing too. There is a saying in my country: give time it's time. Just be patient, know that its a process and its long but dont lose faith ❤
Initially, your relationship with your parents was very similar to how mine is right now. Your story gives me hope that maybe someday my parents will come around.
im currently 12 years old and last year met my best friend who is also trans (ftm) and is my age and had already begun to transition when i met him (by this i mean he came out to his parents and had a binder) anyway, when i met him i realised my own gender issues and tried to push them aside since id just come out as a furry and didn't want to worry anyone or make them think im just doing this for fun. My school also is extremely lgbtq+ friendly and i am so so so grateful for that, the library even has its own shelf for lgbt books and even your book was there, one of the friends i had in my class (she didn't know i was trans just that was bi) said it was really good and that i should read it. so i did. i think now after reading your book i might do some more research on transgenderness (????) and maybe even come out to my parents in a while, also another one of my friends who is also trans (ftm) just offered to buy me a binder since i was stressing about being forced to take showers and wear tight clothing. he offered to do this a few hours ago and told me how important it is to feel like myself and i am so happy i literally cried for half an hour haha
Siblings are the best.... go sis! My father, the only stable person in my life disowned me within one text exchange when it came out that I was considering transitioning medically. I had held my feelings and needs inside of me for 31 years to prevent this and god how awful is it to realize the small percentage of a reality can happen within seconds. Not only that, how silly was I to live someone elses reality. I thought for sure it would be just a month or two and talking to him before he changed his mind, but actually he just cut things off right there and then and he was definitely more supportive loving and kind compared to most dads. What a shocker. Still hasn't come around 3 years later. We shall see.
Your appearance has changed so much on the outside has your heart changed so much to but I didn't want to lose the old you your heart is so good don't lose that please
I haven't spoken to my biological father since I told him and I did try for a year. Thank God my mother left him when I was two years old. The rest of my family are just awesome, never been closer to my mother and her husband / my real dad since I was 10. Some people will never accept it but they are not worth my time stressing about... I'm too old for that crap lol Love your videos and really happy for you that your dad stuck up for you x
My dad and I had a very similar relationship. I came out at 12 and my dad didn’t want a bar of it. While my mum was supportive, she didn’t always use the right pronouns and name because my dad didn’t either. At about 15 I started coming out to my sister and extended family, and when my grandfather completely took everything on board, no questions asked, it really encouraged my dad to do better. My mum helped me change my name legally at 15 which initially helped, but then my dad did a full 180 backwards and kicked me out of home because it was all too fast and too much for him. I was in and out of home from 15-17 and then was permanently told to not come back when I finished school. Fast forward 3 years later and post top surgery and hormones, and my dad and I are repairing our relationship. I think time really helped me heal and helped him accept it. He uses all the right pronouns and name now, because he realises how much he hurt me when I was young. Definitely do not give up on your parents. As bad as they can be, sometimes if you give them enough time, things can work out ❤️
thank you for sharing your story. it means a lot because I'm at the beginning of this process and things are not going well at my house. it's hella frustrating but as you said - I try to look at this situation from their persepctive and just shut up sometimes. you're a big inspiration to me, I watch your videos for over two years now. I never really understood why. now I think I know. I'm just a transgender guy.
uff I have the exact same experience, but with my mom. my dad is very supporting and is really amazing. but my mom acts exactly like you describe what your dad did. I hope she will accept me someday too.
And I always end up crying when talking about transition with my parents. I rarely cry but I definitely do when it’s about me being trans. I hope that can change. I’m currently 16, I wish I could turn 18 soon so that I can change it all without being dependant on them.
Your journey with your dad is so similar to me and it gives me some hope. I’m still pre-t and will be for at least a year but with short hair and 4 years of him adjusting he’s using my nickname and sometimes getting pronouns randomly. It’s great but tiring that it’s taking so long
Some people I know are the same. I was 3 weeks on T the last time I saw my god parents. I went to shake hands with my god father and he hugged me kissed me on the cheek and said 'hello sweet heart' which obviously... he was not seeing me as a guy. I am 4 months on T next Tuesday and I haven't seen them since.. just because I am still scared he is going to do the same thing.
its beel a long yr and a half for me mum wad cool with it sister thoughtn it was a phase my birthday was on the 13 december and she gave me a card saying my new name and she has started calling me he so happy
I came out a little over 5 years ago. I remember Really trying to at the very least give my mom material to read or videos to watch. She used to use an old laptop of mine and i used to leave messages on sticky notes from vlogs and stuff that'd help her under better. And it was just All in vain. She'd scold me about it and would Refuse to acknowledge any type of information I'd give her (worth to mention that I'm Dominican and finding good articles about trans people in spanish back then was Hell). I remember one day i wake up 500% suicidal, i didn't even want to see my dog (who is my whole soul and literally the only reason I'm alive). I locked myself in my room and started watching suicide help vids because i refused to die in the body i had. My mom came in the room and i tried to explain how disgusted i was at my own body and how badly i needed to change it. Her response: [TW] You have to love your body, your boobs (she literally grabbed her boobs). I fuckin lost it and had the greatest breakdown i have ver had at that point in my life. I cut myself on an arm to mask the emotional pain and it was still all for nothing. She literally just took me to a therapist to "fix me" after that. And to a psychiatrist that swore i was crazy and doing drugs (mind me, i don't even smoke or drink). After i had top surgery she realized this is truly who i am and started wanting to be in my life again. After all the fuckin suffering alone and having to do Everything by myself? After losing my career because i was too depressed to continue? How can i just forget and forgive that? To me, she's a horrible person and i honestly hate her. The only reason why i sometimes allow her in my life is because my son (dog) loved her too much. And while all that happened, my dad just didn't give a crap about absolutely anything. Anyway, i guess the outcome of a story also depends on how willing you are to forgive all the damage someone's caused you.
so i'm mtf but your videos really help me and i've been watching you since your transition series. in my opinion, my parents aren't the best, i could have used other words. my dad is worse than my mum, it's pretty bad. and not even to do with my transition, just in general. i have had your book for a while now and i gave the book to my dad around a month ago in hopes it might make him understand things. i still don't think he has read any of it, the last time i asked him he said he forgot about it. i've been all the way through tavistock, i had 8 appointments there. they haven''t been to any with me, and they made excuses up like "we have to be home for your brother coming home" or "we can't leave the dogs for too long" - if they truly wanted to go they would have gotten my grandad to come to our house or something whilst we were out? i actually received my waiting list confirmation letter from porterbrook, so hopefully things are going to progress now in regards to the gender identity clinic stuff. i just don't know what to do, i understand there's still time for them to "come around" but it seems near impossible. i can deal with the stuff at the moment, but i would really like them to be there for my surgery/s and other things as i know the recovery process can be worse than the actual surgery. if anyone has any opinions or advice i'd love to hear it. xx
So I'm a cis woman and never had to deal with anything trans. I didn't experience it myself and I never met anyone who had dealt or was dealing with being transgender (not to my knowledge anyways) but watching you over the last couple of years, reading your book, listening to you, has really educated me and has made me understand as much as it is possible to understand for someone cis.
And I am so greatful for that for I know that if I ever meet anyone in my life who is transgender, a friend, a patient (I'm gonna be a doctor) or even my kid, I will be able to do right, to treat them with the respect they deserve and maybe even help them on their way, because you helped me understand. And this is huge. So thank you for everything you do.
Nore Hey no thank YOU for going to those efforts to understand, it makes the world of difference
Pink suits you! That's a weird thought but tbh you remind me of young David Beckham idk why but there's something alike!
Xoxo from Poland
I think they have similar gentle personalities and great smiles. :)
L Asonibe and both are hella hot :)
I've got really good news. Yesterday my boyfriend got me my first binder and I was so happy that I started to cry.
Congratulations! That's super awesome.
The whole evolution of his dad's views on his transition is awesome, but one particularly awesome thing here is that his parents never tried to stop him. A l o t of parents do that. And because you can't transition, you don't change physically, so they don't grow to see you as the gender you are. So I'm very glad Alex got permission (even if he had to wait for acceptance) !
you put this into words better than I could have, because I'm in that exact situation, where I am not able to transition whatsoever. thank you
Your hands are so nice
thank god I'm not the only one who noticed.
his hands cant say i noticed that beard tho and awesome sweatshirt
wtf this is the most liked comment (at the moment)
but....
ur right lol
So are yours 😉
Noah Hella
Accurate
Oh my god you have no idea how much this helps. My dad knows but he doesn't use my preferred pronouns or name. I love him so much but I don't think he *fully* grasps it. I haven't talked to him about it since I came out but I have no idea how to move past this awkward thing we have.
1- do you have a cold or did your voice drop some more?
2- you’re looking extra hot with that pastel pink shirt and the sleeve tattoo and the blond hair.
3- did we finally get rid of the green walls? I like that corner. Feels cozy and looks cool.
4- thanks for sharing that amazing story, very touching.
5- hugs and kisses!
At this time, none of my family was using my name or pronouns. My grandma has always like...made a point of calling me and her other grandkids by our names. In my case, it was my birth name. I heard my birth name and female pronouns CONSTANTLY from her, and I had so many breakdowns about it.
One day I was coming home from school and I was...actually planning on killing myself that night. And I went out to my deck to see my grandma and my brother (who was two at the time). And as soon as my brother saw me, he yelled my chosen name like...really excitedly. And I broke down sobbing. It was the first time I had heard it from him. My grandma had spent that entire day teaching him to call me by my chosen name instead of my birth name. That might have been the best moment of my life, honestly.
So hard for you, I'm so glad the timing was right and that happened on that day.
Interestingly I had a very similar experience with my dad coming to terms with my transition. My parents reacted quite badly to my transition when I first came out, and it was made harder due to cultural barriers (they're Chinese). My Dad took it harder emotionally, and couldn't sleep/eat for days, which made me really sad. As my transition progressed, my mum was more upfront about her opinions, but my dad tended to hide away. I feel like it took some adjustment for him to get used to treating me as a son rather than a daughter. Obviously, there shouldn't really be a difference there, but for him there was.
I also noticed a shift in change once I started having physical changes. I think a large part of gaining my parent's acceptance was for them to see how 'okay' I turned out. Meaning, in the beginning, my parents really had little to no knowledge of what it meant to transition. They were very worried about me, and I think they feared that I would have a difficult life, and people would treat me differently. Once they could see for themselves that I was a completely passable guy, they were able to accept it more.
Throughout this, my dad still never really spoke to me much about it all. He still hid his emotions, and I also never really opened up to him about my feelings. However, a significant moment was when he offered to pay for my top surgery. I had already planned to pay for it myself but he insisted. That action made me realise that he did care for me, even if he didn't have the words to say it.
But what really landed with me was half a year ago when I got stage 1 of bottom surgery. This was several years after first coming out as trans. After telling them that this was going to happen, I was a bit afraid of their reaction as we hadn't even spoken of my trans stuff since top surgery 4/5 years prior. My mum was more vocal of course, and asked questions. My dad fidgeted in the background, kicking at the rug. Though reluctant, they accepted that it was my decision. Shortly after, I had a phone call with my dad. I remember him suddenly telling me on the phone 'We support you. You can do it. We're all behind you'. And I'll never forget that.
What you've said is important, specifically the patience and acceptance of the way your parent's reacted, even if it wasn't all positive. Because it's the same for me. My parents had said/done some terrible things in the beginning, but I cannot hate them for it. They have loved me all along, and their negative initial reactions were all on the basis of loving me, and fearing for me. With time, patience, and honesty, they have come a long way. My whole family had my back when I went into bottom surgery, literally staying with me during my hospital stay/recovery. And to think that several years ago I literally thought that them kicking me out of the house was a viable outcome. Stories of our parents like these show how much things can change, and how what seems like rock bottom can turn out completely differently in the future.
My dad did the same with the "no name" part mate, it seems quite common with dads! Thank you for being such an inspiration for my transition! I have my initial consultation for top surgery soon!
I had a similar thing with my brother Will a while ago. We went to this go-karting place and the counter guy asked if anyone in our family had done it before and Will just said ‘Oh yeah my brother has’ and I just had this moment of “wait wha-OMG HE MEANS ME” :D
Honestly I was in such a happy mood the whole day 😅
I've been watching you for years, back when your channel had your birthname in it and I'm so amazed by how far you've come in your life. You had a few thousand subscribers and now you have a book out :o i honestly feel kinda proud
I'm ftm and it feels like my dad will never use the right name, pronouns or ever see me as his son. But this video has given me hope that one day he will. Thanks Alex!
Beard is looking great. Pink also looks good on you. 👌
I bought the book as soon as I could so I knew a lot of this but it's totally different hearing him actually saying it. It's so much more emotional than just reading words on a page. I LOVED this video!
Thank you, I really needed this. I’m a year and one month since coming out and my parents are both still at the stage you were describing for your dad at the beginning. As an only child, I don’t have the benefit of a sibling to force the new name and I’m struggling to stay positive. I don’t want to be seen with my parents in public as they will deliberately misgender me, often right before going into a public toilet. But hearing it does get better gives me a glimmer of hope.
And yes please to that in depth video. I could really do with it.
Dont give up, keep going, our parents are like a lottery and you don't always win. I'm new to all this as I am a parent of a tiny 5 year old trans boy. He let us know who he really was age 1!!!! He is luckier than you as we fully accept who he is. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be you xxx
My older brother used my new name and pronouns the day I told him too! Siblings must just be much more accepting sometimes. Also my mum called up when they cancelled my T appointment using all types of pronouns haha
I really love that your happy to talk openly about this conversation. Your doing such important work and I’m just so proud to have been able to watch you over the past several years ❤️
My parents, when I talked to them, my dad made it clear that he was never going to see me the way I wanted him to and my mom didn't say much of anything until a long while later and said she would support me. However, both of them agreed that they would not ever help me. Won't use my name or pronoun, won't be there for me when I go to the doctor, and they wont help me pay or raise the money for my top surgery or hormones. I have gotten to where I'm able to get them to listen when I need someone to talk to right away about hormones or binding, but that's it. Listening to your story helps a lot. The day I asked my parents to use a different name and maybe even a pronoun is one day I cant forget. The way my dad denied everything instantly just makes my heart drop 6 feet under every time I remember. Your story shows a light of hope, it may not get better for me, but it is definitely nice to know that the possibility of growing acceptance is out there and it has happened. It has been 2 year since I came out to my parents by the way. My only actual support has been my boyfriend, but he is always away at a different college so I hardly get to see him. :(
Here's hoping that things improve.
Also, saved up for doctor visit for hormones, had a shitty time dealing with picking up those hormones on my own, so I went to my dad and I was genuinely surprised that he was such a big help. Yet, after taking them for two weeks I started having a bad reaction. No idea why really but I am taking it in the form of patches so it might be something about the patch itself and not the hormones, but i am terribly worried now. It's a crazy long drive to see the doctor just find out what is going on in addition to me being very low on money. It's been pretty bad the last few months with that in addition to everything else in my life.
Currently trying to attend college, haven't been able to afford a name change yet, so when I walk in a classroom for the first time I might or might not get a sit, but the second they hear my birth name that dream dies. Been avoiding a lot because of my transition. I just hope that once I'm actually able to transition that I wont feel like something is hold me back anymore.
Got way off topic there, I guess, once again thanks for the video. :)
This video left me in tears and the occasional chuckle,
I’m so proud of you and your journey. Even through all the downfalls, you grabbed this and grew stronger.
To Alex’s beard!
Discovering your channel on RUclips a few years ago helped me be more understanding of my trans friends whenever I would get frustrated at them for getting frustrated with me for not jumping straight to using their preferred pronouns or name. You’re such a wonderful human being and you really have a great way of helping people understand those who are going through their transitions and what they’re experiencing that we can’t always grasp
I got so emotional watching this. I'm actually happy and jealously crying. I hope this happens someday to me.
I loved your ending and how you've said some people will never get it and that's okay 💖 I don't think many people in my family will ever get it but it'll be okay in the end. Thanks for uploading Alex 😊 just bought your book
I just came out to my family today as trans. This video really helped
I'm not giving up on you, mum.
I recently came out to my parents with a letter and my dad's reaction is very similar to yours, that gives me so much hope for the future. thank you so much alex for sharing it!!
I’m kind of in that stage at the moment where my dad avoids gendering me when talking to other people, I get you completely - it’s very weird but also amazing :)
I hope my dad comes around, like yours did. Love you man, you are a big inspiration for me.
I've watched you for years now and can't help but feel deeply for you. It makes me so happy to see your happiness because for a while there it seemed that we might not get the chance... as I'm sure you had that same fear then. I'm so excited to keep watching you and your family. Much love (and great video, as always)!
I can remember watching your videos a few years ago and once you came out it pushed me to come out to my family too. We sort of went through a similar experience! I'm so proud of you man.
Thank you for sharing this Alex. I loved the part about when your dad referred to you as his son, what a wonderful moment for you xx
This is heart warming to hear how your dad came around and is now supportive of you 💖 I needed this because my week hasn’t been the best and just hearing a good success story makes me happy,I love you Alex so so so much
I'm currently sat reading your fantastic look. I feel like I know you so well reading this and like that you haven't held anything back. Well done. X
man im so happy for you. waiting for my parents to come around on this you're giving me hope
so proud Alex. I've watched your videos for a very long time and your journey has been an incredible one. Despite having their struggles your parents seem to have been a lot better than many when it comes to growing to understand and accept, though I'm sure you may not have felt so during the conflict. It's great that you and your dad were both patient and kept working on your relationship until you finally got to a point where you could see eye to eye. That moment of him calling you his son ruined me! At the end of the day you're his baby and i'm so glad that that love eventually came out on top. x
I can REALLY understand everything youre saying bc the story with my dad almost went exactly the same, right now he's just started to like "defend" me and help me transition after almost 3 years after coming out and almost going on T. Its amazing
Your videos are super great and I always feel better after watching them, I can never thank you enough Alex 😭
I've been here watching you before and during your transition and it helped me so much with mine. Before telling my parents i would just sob like a moron to your videos. I was feeling like a part of me that i felt but somehow knew i was missing was finally found and it had a name. Now here i am past 49 days since my top surgery and almost 2 years on hormones, i have no one that uses female pronouns or my dead name and i have a 2 year relationship with my feyfriend that is better then anything i could have evee dreamed of..thank you Alex for helping me be able to get to this point. ^-^
Loved this video! Been watching through it all and even since BEFORE you came out as trans. Go Hollie for her instant acceptance. Yay dad too. My dad an I have a difficult relationship and haven’t spoken in two years. This gives me faith it’ll one day right itself. Thankyou!
I got a copy of the book and I remember that chapter- 😭💙
Your book also helped me come out and be accepted as a trans male 💗
Hi Alex, so I bought your book last year and it arrived just in time for my trip home for christmas. That trip didn't go to well but having your book there in that space was a great help to me at the time. Likewise this video comes just after I came out to my parents and it didn't go well but this has given me a stronger sense that even if we can't make things work right now, there may well come a time when that changes and that is't not some sort of terrible mistake on my part to keep pushing forward in physically realising my gender without first having their acceptance. Figuring out I might need to do that was really hard but this video has helped me accept that not only is it what is best for me but it may also be exactly the right thing to help them understand. Thank you, really deeply thank you.
Alex, I've been watching you since you were fifteen and watching your journey has been so incredible. I'm so proud of you, I can't find the words? I'm so happy things have got to this point and to see your videos where you were at your lowest, to where you are now, is so inspiring and brave. Amazing amazing human. ❤️
I remember coming out to my parents and it was roughly the same. Both of them weren't necessarily unsupportive but after coming out, I felt like they just wanted to ignore the issue and hope it would go away on its own. The only thing that actually changed their mind was when I told them I was suicidal and I'd been hurting myself. From that point forward, they did their best to help me transition. It took a couple years in my case, but I totally agree with your statement telling people that their parents may come around. Sometimes, it seems very hopeless but things do get better with time.
man just all the hugs like ok book promo aside all the emotions i felt plus your getting over a cold talk about fighting spirit
It’s amazing hearing your journey with your transition and your father, I am experiencing the same with with my father right now.I’ve had so many conversations that I’ve seen no light at the end of the tunnel with. Both of my parents know how I feel being ftm but it’s very difficult for them to grasp my reasoning. Even if I say raw things that aren’t good it still doesn’t click for them.I am 18 and trying to get my social and medical transition going and the only family that I can openly talk about my binder, dysphoria and transitioning in general is my younger sister and my grandfather. Father’s Day was difficult for me because constantly my father and I are off track and it’s been that way since I was 15, which hurts my heart because I remember a time where it wasn’t like that. I hope one day he can see me as a son and we can fix this gap that’s been between us for years. Thanks Alex :-)
This was a great video Alex! It was my dad who reacted worst when I came out and now we don't speak (I haven't seen him in 7 years) so I'm very happy that yours was fighting your corner when you needed him! ^_^
I came out a day ago to my mum. And while I feel that it was uncomfortable and overall a mediocre experience what I can do is hold onto the one or two good things that happened in the conversation and wait and hope that eventually she and my dad will fully understand. I've also got to remind myself that I took a huge step even though it doesn't feel like it, I've made a start. Thanks for the video it was really helpful especially so soon after I've come out to a family member. I would really like to see another video about the process of helping your parents understand.
This is literally my current relationship with my dad. The first three minutes of this video is pretty much my life. I'm about to start T, and I had to catch him off guard and ask him if he was okay and if he had any questions. He didn't want to know anything about it, and he flat out told me that he was just hoping that the day would come when this was a phase that would go away in time. Unfortunately I live with him and I'm not financially secure enough to move out on my own and make this easier on both of us (due to my inability to find a doctor for the last three years, I've been uncomfortable with the idea of getting a job). Kind of hoping that eventually my situation turns around in a similar way too. Kudos to you Alex, you're an amazing person and your videos really help me see my situation more objectively, because now I know I'm not alone.
thanks for sharing
this reminded me that my brother will probably accept me when i come out to him and my parents' reactions will probably be better with time
your book made me both smile and cry, I loved it so much and it was very helpful, I'm going to come out to my dad in a few days and I'm super scared but your experience gives me hope that it's gonna be fine after a while
I think one of the things that set you, Alex, above other transgender youtubers is the honesty and straightforwardness you present in your videos. You will grow older, maybe stop vlogging, but your videos will be an inspiration, a map, a 'happy ending' cautionary tale for generations to come. For that alone, you should be thanked !
It's so nice to hear someone talking about how their parent used no name or pronouns. This is what my mum is currently and has been the past year since I came out and I've never had someone be able to relate to so thank you for this video
Honestly, even if my dad does one day accept me, and use the name and pronouns I prefer, I'm going to have to put up with wildly offensive 'jokes' and be given out to and called a snowflake any time I feel brave enough to stand up for myself
I also went through many years of getting my Dad to accept I am gay and to accept my (now) husband. I really didn't think that my Dad would accept my relationship to be the same as my married straight brothers. But eventually he did, my husband and I have been together 30 years now. My Dad passed in 2015, but we were able to reconnect and after my mom passed in 2009, I think my Dad reaccessed what was important in life. He saw that if I was happy, being gay just didn't matter, it's just who I am.
Jeffy Jay , thank you. I'm sure it must be some very conflicting feelings for parents, sorting through your coming out.
I literally remember watching the video when you announced that you were going on testosterone. It feels like not even that long ago, but it was like 2 years ago.
You've changed so much! You've come so far, I'm so proud of you!
Ur vids make me smile ☺
Godbless u, u r inspiring young trans man
i ask my stepmom about my dad every so often and then i go dark again for months after hearing he still doesn’t understand i’m gay. i’m glad some people have accepting parents. it is devastating for life having parents who overtly or covertly do not accept you. it’s hard to extend grace even though i understand them as people
You are so strong 💕 I’m so proud of how far you’ve come
Thank you for making this video- it gives me hope
I love this video!
Ive been a subscriber of yours for years and years and you've come so far.
My father never seems to undersrand transgender when its mentioned on TV ect.
I try my best to tell him about using correct words when talking about how people identify but I still have some work to do.
By the way, you look so bloody good! 😍😍😍
I loved this video 💝
I think it's really interesting to hear stories about different people and how they "came to terms" with their lgbt+ loved ones. It seems to be common that some people aren't necessarily completely against it in the beginning but take time to actually get on board and GET IT. Thanks for sharing this very personal story.
i’m do glad that your dad came around eventually, whether he accepts it or not, he’s respectful of your name and pronouns and it’s so cool!! i’m so happy for you.
seeing you transition and slowly but surely become happier has been incredible to see 💙
OMG no word of a lie rigth here u was in waterstones today looking for books ans=d i came across your one i have been reading it for a couple of hours now ( i am dyslexic) and it is so helpfull for me beacuse i have came out to people i know and some are less supportive than others
hope you have a great day all
Thank you for this video. I’m 15, nearly 16, and have been watching your videos since I was in sixth grade. I’m going through some of the same things you detailed in the video. One of the major things is the “pronoun gap,” as I like to call it! This video, and your videos in general give me hope that some day, things will change for me. Lots of love from Cape Cod!
your voice is so calming
💓💓💓 Alex omg you are making me cry internally but won't externally bc like my own situations are like yours ngl.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm having pretty much the same experience that you had right now (my dad pretty much said the same stuff that you said but also compared being trans to a desexed cat, which you know is just great). But thanks for giving me hope for the future.
The son part is so endearing
This is such an amazing story ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 thank you so much for being so honest and inspiring xx
I think most people think before they come out that their parents are gonna have very polarizing opinions. They think either theyll be yelled at and kicked out or like embraced and fully accepted right away. But honestly, i think 90% its much more complex than that bc humans are more complex. When i came out to my mom as a lesbian at 13 she said it was fine and that she loved me anyway, but we didnt talk about it for 3 years bc she would never let me. It was only after I got my hair cut short and I decided to have a heart to heart conversation with her that it got better, and it STILL had a LOT of missteps and even fights sometimes (especially about my masculine looks). My dad and my siblings were a whole other thing too. There is a saying in my country: give time it's time. Just be patient, know that its a process and its long but dont lose faith ❤
Initially, your relationship with your parents was very similar to how mine is right now. Your story gives me hope that maybe someday my parents will come around.
im currently 12 years old and last year met my best friend who is also trans (ftm) and is my age and had already begun to transition when i met him (by this i mean he came out to his parents and had a binder) anyway, when i met him i realised my own gender issues and tried to push them aside since id just come out as a furry and didn't want to worry anyone or make them think im just doing this for fun. My school also is extremely lgbtq+ friendly and i am so so so grateful for that, the library even has its own shelf for lgbt books and even your book was there, one of the friends i had in my class (she didn't know i was trans just that was bi) said it was really good and that i should read it. so i did. i think now after reading your book i might do some more research on transgenderness (????) and maybe even come out to my parents in a while, also another one of my friends who is also trans (ftm) just offered to buy me a binder since i was stressing about being forced to take showers and wear tight clothing. he offered to do this a few hours ago and told me how important it is to feel like myself and i am so happy i literally cried for half an hour haha
Siblings are the best.... go sis! My father, the only stable person in my life disowned me within one text exchange when it came out that I was considering transitioning medically. I had held my feelings and needs inside of me for 31 years to prevent this and god how awful is it to realize the small percentage of a reality can happen within seconds. Not only that, how silly was I to live someone elses reality. I thought for sure it would be just a month or two and talking to him before he changed his mind, but actually he just cut things off right there and then and he was definitely more supportive loving and kind compared to most dads. What a shocker. Still hasn't come around 3 years later. We shall see.
Your appearance has changed so much on the outside has your heart changed so much to but I didn't want to lose the old you your heart is so good don't lose that please
Thank you Alex! This video is very helpful. I would defiantly be interested in a more in depth video on how to get parents to understand.
thanks for sharing your story Alex! You're inspiring xxx Love from Adelaide, Australia
This was a very warm and moving video. Thanks for sharing
Omg I'm so happy for you 😍 thanks for sharing this with us 💕
I haven't spoken to my biological father since I told him and I did try for a year. Thank God my mother left him when I was two years old. The rest of my family are just awesome, never been closer to my mother and her husband / my real dad since I was 10. Some people will never accept it but they are not worth my time stressing about... I'm too old for that crap lol
Love your videos and really happy for you that your dad stuck up for you x
Happy father's day to your papa :)
Great video as always!
"16 and I just started college" DAMN
My dad and I had a very similar relationship. I came out at 12 and my dad didn’t want a bar of it. While my mum was supportive, she didn’t always use the right pronouns and name because my dad didn’t either. At about 15 I started coming out to my sister and extended family, and when my grandfather completely took everything on board, no questions asked, it really encouraged my dad to do better. My mum helped me change my name legally at 15 which initially helped, but then my dad did a full 180 backwards and kicked me out of home because it was all too fast and too much for him. I was in and out of home from 15-17 and then was permanently told to not come back when I finished school. Fast forward 3 years later and post top surgery and hormones, and my dad and I are repairing our relationship. I think time really helped me heal and helped him accept it. He uses all the right pronouns and name now, because he realises how much he hurt me when I was young. Definitely do not give up on your parents. As bad as they can be, sometimes if you give them enough time, things can work out ❤️
thank you for sharing your story. it means a lot because I'm at the beginning of this process and things are not going well at my house. it's hella frustrating but as you said - I try to look at this situation from their persepctive and just shut up sometimes. you're a big inspiration to me, I watch your videos for over two years now. I never really understood why. now I think I know. I'm just a transgender guy.
I’m really glad that your sister was so supportive and called you by the correct name and pronouns so quickly
uff I have the exact same experience, but with my mom. my dad is very supporting and is really amazing. but my mom acts exactly like you describe what your dad did. I hope she will accept me someday too.
Aww I loved this video - sorry there was problems but so glad it worked out x and that final message 👌👌
And I always end up crying when talking about transition with my parents. I rarely cry but I definitely do when it’s about me being trans. I hope that can change. I’m currently 16, I wish I could turn 18 soon so that I can change it all without being dependant on them.
Your journey with your dad is so similar to me and it gives me some hope. I’m still pre-t and will be for at least a year but with short hair and 4 years of him adjusting he’s using my nickname and sometimes getting pronouns randomly. It’s great but tiring that it’s taking so long
Thank you so much Alex and sorry for all the comments.
Your story is amazing..I'm happy for you that he came around.. 😊
Love your new tattoos Alex your also rocking that dad jumper lol
My mom does the same thing! She never calls me by my name to my face but does it when talking about me to other people
my dad just leaves the gaps too - hopefully it progresses and he comes around
Some people I know are the same. I was 3 weeks on T the last time I saw my god parents. I went to shake hands with my god father and he hugged me kissed me on the cheek and said 'hello sweet heart' which obviously... he was not seeing me as a guy. I am 4 months on T next Tuesday and I haven't seen them since.. just because I am still scared he is going to do the same thing.
its beel a long yr and a half for me mum wad cool with it sister thoughtn it was a phase my birthday was on the 13 december and she gave me a card saying my new name and she has started calling me he so happy
I am glad that things got so much better for you
This video makes me cry happy tears 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I came out a little over 5 years ago. I remember Really trying to at the very least give my mom material to read or videos to watch. She used to use an old laptop of mine and i used to leave messages on sticky notes from vlogs and stuff that'd help her under better. And it was just All in vain. She'd scold me about it and would Refuse to acknowledge any type of information I'd give her (worth to mention that I'm Dominican and finding good articles about trans people in spanish back then was Hell). I remember one day i wake up 500% suicidal, i didn't even want to see my dog (who is my whole soul and literally the only reason I'm alive). I locked myself in my room and started watching suicide help vids because i refused to die in the body i had. My mom came in the room and i tried to explain how disgusted i was at my own body and how badly i needed to change it. Her response: [TW] You have to love your body, your boobs (she literally grabbed her boobs). I fuckin lost it and had the greatest breakdown i have ver had at that point in my life. I cut myself on an arm to mask the emotional pain and it was still all for nothing. She literally just took me to a therapist to "fix me" after that. And to a psychiatrist that swore i was crazy and doing drugs (mind me, i don't even smoke or drink). After i had top surgery she realized this is truly who i am and started wanting to be in my life again. After all the fuckin suffering alone and having to do Everything by myself? After losing my career because i was too depressed to continue? How can i just forget and forgive that? To me, she's a horrible person and i honestly hate her. The only reason why i sometimes allow her in my life is because my son (dog) loved her too much. And while all that happened, my dad just didn't give a crap about absolutely anything. Anyway, i guess the outcome of a story also depends on how willing you are to forgive all the damage someone's caused you.
Jeremy Roy G. Mucho amor para ti ♡
so i'm mtf but your videos really help me and i've been watching you since your transition series. in my opinion, my parents aren't the best, i could have used other words. my dad is worse than my mum, it's pretty bad. and not even to do with my transition, just in general. i have had your book for a while now and i gave the book to my dad around a month ago in hopes it might make him understand things. i still don't think he has read any of it, the last time i asked him he said he forgot about it.
i've been all the way through tavistock, i had 8 appointments there. they haven''t been to any with me, and they made excuses up like "we have to be home for your brother coming home" or "we can't leave the dogs for too long" - if they truly wanted to go they would have gotten my grandad to come to our house or something whilst we were out?
i actually received my waiting list confirmation letter from porterbrook, so hopefully things are going to progress now in regards to the gender identity clinic stuff. i just don't know what to do, i understand there's still time for them to "come around" but it seems near impossible. i can deal with the stuff at the moment, but i would really like them to be there for my surgery/s and other things as i know the recovery process can be worse than the actual surgery.
if anyone has any opinions or advice i'd love to hear it. xx
I’m happy that your dad helped you transition by the phone call