Why You Don't Need to Fear Getting Hurt - Nobody Can Hurt You
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- --- Want help? I do 1-on-1 Counseling on Skype: www.liveinthemo...
--- Get my FREE 40 page e-book: www.liveinthemo...
--- Check out my #1 Amazon Bestseller: www.amazon.com/...
--- Use my FREE web app "The 5 Steps": www.liveinthemo...
Link to blog post:
www.liveinthemo...
Thanks,
Noah Elkrief
• Why You Don't Need to ...
Hi Rock, sorry for the delay. The reason we believe everything others say is because that's what we were taught to do. When we enter this world, when our parents say "this is a cup", we believe them. Then, when teacher says "that is a cloud", we believe them. When other adults say "you did such a good job", we believe them. Then, when people tell us anything about us, we believe. Automatically. When you begin to see that your response are created only by your own thoughts, you gain freedom.
I don't ever comment on videos, but I would just like to take my time and thank you. Thank you for helping me cope with my break up, your videos make feel at peace with myself and with others. You have made an impact on my life and I look forward to more of your videos in the future.
ALG
Du love Kissen
i love when he says; right....?
hes so handsome
Jazmin Jones same hehe
I love your videos and from a psychological point of view, yes the way we perceive things(either positive or negative) is our own mindset,and we can either be our own best friend or worst enemy based on the way we view what others say about us,or what we say of ourselves! The moral of the story is to not feel hurt or doomed by others opinions of us is to not be so gullible as to believe what they say negatively about us is true! Especially,if they don't know us very well personally!
A.
Was?Problem alrigh ich boy Grüns
A
Story
OfficialBint Almedina he’s not handsome or ugly because it doesn’t exist, he’s just him
Lmao
This totally makes sense and I agree that it’s our beliefs (what we think about ourselves)that really matter, the problem is when we love someone, a friend, romantic partner or relatives whoever it may be, what really hurts it’s not that we believe it it’s true but that they feel that way about us, so it is complicated not to get hurt when you care about people
I LOVE the analogy of somebody giving you a knife!!!
Sooo BRILLIANT and it makes a lot of sense. I can use that for my own sake each time I interact with anybody...ANYBODY at all...love interest, family, friends, co-workers, strangers...anybody!
THANK YOU SO MUCH, @Noah Elkrief for sharing your WISDOM with all of us!!!
May you be blessed with everything you desire and deserve!
I feel you on every point. My wife and kids think I have no feelings. I try to show them that self validation is the key to loving myself. I take my successes and failures and still self validate. So I do not accept any others validation. keep up the good work. There are alot ppl out here that are validated by others.
Touché. Thank you.
Yeah, but your kids need your validation, their sense of worth is partly formed by the parents. Don't treat them like you treat yourself......that is IF they are still children.
If your wife and kids think you have no feelings and that's probably something you need to work on
I wanted to start off by saying thank you for all of the videos and all your thoughtful words, I recently went through a 3 1/2 year relationship breakup and i was really struggling with depression. Today i decided to do something about it and i found your videos and they have really started to help me. Thank you so very much.
I love your tone and gentle compassionate way you explain what you want to say. It makes it motivating to want to listen to what you have to say and makes the information comprehensible.....Thank you for all this helpful information, I am hooked already :)
I so needed this!!! This has been my fear in a nut shell. I don't get close w/ others because I fear getting hurt. I never heard anyone explain it away like you. All my life I have been this way and have gotten hurt time after time only to reinforce my negative thoughts. It is so great to know I don't have to be afraid anymore to love ,it's all in my mind and what I choose to believe as truth. Saying THANK YOU just isn't enough from me, You helped change my life with this...Blessings to you~
It is my pleasure Catbuds! I am happy to hear that my video has helped you. Thank you for sharing.
Your explanations are revolutionary. U have helped me so much. Thank u
You're welcome Tommy! Glad that my explanations have been clear for you!
My god i cant even express my gratitude for this video, this is amazing stuff and i already feel like i can talk to anyone with no fear, thank you
Brilliant! this guy is a genius
I have been feeling hurt for the past few days now but your videos have helped me greatly. I have gone from a full on hurt to minor discomfort. Keep on the good work.
you make such great helpful, explanatory videos. thanks man, this is a great thing you do, props
Joy Bindra You're welcome Joy
+Noah Elkrief my girl freind headed on me me then broke up with me then I confronted her about it she declined and said I was creepy
+Bradley West cheated.
Thank you so much for your wonderful perspectives. And how you explain the human condition in a fashion that can be understood and utilized everyday. Give yourself a big virtual hug for taking the time to help so many. Wonderful!!!
Thank you,you helped me out a lot,not just on this topic but generaly in life,i love you and love what you do,again thanks!
thank you you the best
Thanks. This helped.
I’m getting dumped by my bf and today I got cut from my interview with my dream job with Emirates airlines. They didn’t even look at my resume, the interviewer just didn’t like me, even though I tried so hard and spoke really well in the group auditions. Sigh feeling so shit 😔
Dear Noah
as i was watching this and i watched it twice
i was thinking why on earth didn't any one explain this to me before
this is a very helpful video for me
thank you
loopiewho You're welcome, glad it helped
This made me see my future relationships and life in general from a different perspective! Thank you so much, glad I found your channel!
Hi Joeswish4u! Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm always trying to make everything as clear and simple as possible.
You're welcome
No one is unworthy of love.
This was amazing God is using your videos to bless us & heal us thank you 🙏🏾 your video transcends time
Your opinion is the only one that matters.
I really love this guy :')
Hi Noah - this was really good. It doesn't exactly relate with my situation though. In some cases, like my own, we are not afraid of people hurting us because of rejection. I've developed a disbelief in the goodness of people for reasons you touched on. I have a lack of confidence in the ability of my goodness to overcome the wickedness of others. That is what causes me to be afraid. I am not concerned with people accepting or rejecting.
Thank you Noah! The tone of your voice and the way you‘re telling things is very good.
Wow, Noah . This and the other videos of yours I have watched have helped me. Thank you for producing work that benefits society. I recently went through a breakup, a month ago, but now I am dating someone new. I'm really trying to combat the newfound insecurities from that last relationship, working through that with my new partner and mainly myself.
Noah can you do a segment like this on becoming vulnerable? I don't mean vulnerable in a negative way but I belief that real strength comes in achieving complete vulnerability .This means that you have nothing to defend in yourself that you allow people in without feeling that they will have the power to hurt you. There is something quite liberating in being that centred,that assured and that secure within yourself that you connect with others without being guarded, being fearful etc.... In fact a meaningful connection whether fleeting or long term can only happen on that foundation. I would love to learn more about this, as I haven't found alot of content on this and this is something that really resonates with me seeing as I have spent so long trying to protect my heart .There's a lovely quote in the movie "Amelie" ...."If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton".....
You are really helping me, thank you. I have watched several of your videos and will continue
Ok. Yes, yes, and yes. It seems so simple but I never thought of it this way.
Glad to hear that Pili! Thanks for sharing!
you are the best person I've ever found on RUclips that talks about life- you are such a natural :)
👍🖐
The problem is I believe what they say is true, because I always think they know better than me.
I really like this video and it is true that it is only us that holds the power over our negative thoughts but we all crave to love and be loved yes I know it's because we want to be happy. The thing is when we love and care about someone we automatically value their opinion which influences our thoughts...I think the only way to truly love is to allow this to happen so that when the person says or does something negative in my opinion if it doesn't hurt us at least initially then we do not really care or love that person because although we ourselves cause the hurt it is a result of the other person indirectly. I really think that it is okay to be hurt at times and feel sad or bad for a little we are all humans with emotions, what we can't do is as you say keep hurting ourselves and this is where addressing our own thoughts about ourselves comes around. So I just wanted to say that and also we love because we want to be loved and that's okay we just need to mentally condition ourselves with negative outcomes. Thanks for your video
Thank you so much for this video! It really opened my eyes.
Thank you for creating this video.
Dude great vids man I recently got my heart crushed but I'm going to take in your advice, I get everything you say. You made me want to love myself not somebody else
raymondalvarado Glad to hear it, thanks for sharing
This helped me a lot ! Thanks =) It is like a pure relief ♥️
dude your the man this stuff is vary effective
Johnny Young Glad it helped Johnny
Simply Awesome, I love your work. It's really helpful thanks Noah
Noah your videos are helping me So much!!! Thank you!!!
Nobody can hurt you ❤️
This is literally GOLD! - Sozo
Wow I love your videos they are awesome! I like the way you break down the thought process, it is so true, I can't be hurt only unless I let what someone else thinks of me, enter my thought process. But it can go the other way too, where we could hardly be flattered if someone were to compliment us, or say something good to us to make us feel good about ourselves, I mean who wants to reject that thought right?
compartista yup it's hard but permanent fix though
This nailed getting over my ex.
Hello. I want to say THANK YOU. For your videos I've been watching them for a few months now. I'm 25 and I would like to ask if you could upload some video about how to stay emotionally strong? and stop absorbing other people's energy, and remain neutral or more important MY SELF without taking sides.
I hope you will understand.
Thank you.
You have right...my friend and Thank you..!!
again, again, and again. thank you so very much
Watching these videos regarding relationships and how they can't make you happy or don't have to hurt you has me questioning what the point of relationships even is??
this video helped me a lot! the knife example was so creative!
Hmm, so focusing your mind on something leads you to getting it right away. But then thoughts immediately stop your mind from focusing. So just shift back to the focus. I think it works.
than You Noel... glad I found your videos.. a go to when ever I get into a bad rut... for being so young, You have such wisdom.. your an old soul :)
understood. if You value ones opinion and they give you their opinion, You believe.
Yes, we automatically believe others' opinions to be true and valid. But, all you have to do is question the validity of others' opinions in order to be free of them.
2nd time this video saves me, ty
The words said will not hurt you, it’s only if you believe what’s said is true. That’s why we must change our mindset. ThAnk you for this video🥹
Noah do you have any feelings ? you are such a strong person
kayla galarzaa Hi Kayla, I do have feelings and I am not strong. But, no matter what feelings enters my body, I am completely at peace during it. My peace doesn't come from strength, but rather from just seeing that thoughts aren't real or true.
+Noah Elkrief Please let me know if what you say somehow relates to acceptance which Ekhart Tolle talk about.
Noah Elkrief yea but what about if you care about that person, even if you don’t believe you are unworthy of love the fact that the person you care about thinks you are make you feel sad
Dark Suit that’s exactly what it is! I’ve read Eckhart tolle s books , they’re all basically about surrendering to what is
My abusive ex said that to me once. That is why I believe strangers more.
I'm not sure that I understand your question Emmanuel.
Another great video. Thank you.
i hear you but you can still be a confident independent person and also get hurt when you let your guard down.
Dear Noah, Did you post the next video in the series? Addressing the thoughts that makes one feel hurt? Stopping believing that others' opinions are true? Thank you.
noah, your videos have really helped me a lot. if you feel inspired, could you do a video of how to deal with jealousy? i think it would help a lot of us...thank you for doing such an amazing work!
tirtunemdouq You're welcome. Yes, I am making a video on jealousy
thank you, can't wait for it:)
dear noah,
I am a teacher and in my last teaching session students rejected me saying that they are not getting me (bit surprising for me also because they are saying it after nearly 2 months of my lectures), but i have to believe in their thoughts, what i think is single person cannot make everyone happy but in my profession I have to take everyone into consideration, please reply if possible... thanks n your sessions are fantastic bye
I don’t have time to watch the whole video right now, I got as far as 8:05.
Maybe he changes things up a bit later on but my first observation is this: he keeps talking about love and that it is those you love who cause the strongest emotions; I don’t find that to always be the case; yes, when my wife cheated on me, I was devastated and was horribly hurt that the one person I loved more than any other would hurt me like that; but I eventually came to realize, wasn’t hurt because of loving her, I was hurt because I trusted her, implicitly and had more faith in her than I had for any other person in my life, ever.
It wasn’t because I loved her that I was hurt, it was because I had implicit trust and faith in her. I love my three girls. But with one of them, despite our love for each other, I didn’t and still don’t trust her. She has proven, over time, that she will lie and disregard the fact that she does things that hurt not just herself but others around he too. The kicker is, she doesn’t care.
I know and understand this.
Both people I love but only my wife could hurt me so much because of the violation of my implicit trust and faith in her.
I’ll watch the rest of this video later. If anything changes, I’ll edit this. But for now, I don’t think it was my love for my wife that hurt my. Instead, it was the violation of my trust and faith in her that hurt so much.
Excellent video though. Thanks
Thank you Noah 💙
If someone told me I wasn’t worthy of love I would laugh bc thats an insane thing to tell someone
thank you noah.. 😊
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Watching this after a disagreement with my husband.
Hi Noah, I think this great and maybe one of your most important points. I keep getting the sense that people still may have to go deeper to get this. What do you think? In order for someone to believe what someone else might say, do they first have to believe that they "deserve" it somehow? Like perhaps a decision was made earlier on and then the earlier decision is triggered by what someone says and this is why the emotion is created. How can you convince someone not to stab herself?
medicinal, thank you!
If people's opinions aren't true, are my opinions on myself true? What is true?
+Ricardo Rosa You are who you are, that is true. There is no need for judging, evaluating and comparing to others, opinions by definition are always subjective.
When my daddy died i found out who my friends were and people were more bothered about my mum, i was treated like something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoe. I had to deal with my daddy's death alone. One of my 'friends' told me a couple of months after my daddy died that they hoped i would meet someone who would care about me because it wouldn't be them and another 'friend' laughed at me. I swore that i would never let myself get close to others again and i went about on my own for years but! i wasn't alone although i couldn't see daddy i know he was with me and i know he still is. I'd rather be in solitary confinement than be laughed at again or be fooled in thinking i had a friend outside the house.
+Siobhan Cosgrove
you just had shitty friends...
there are some nice people on this planet...open up witout fear ,meet people and trust your instinct..
You're SO right. i did have shitty friends, with friends like that who needs enemies. Many thanks for the advice, VERY much appreciated. X
+b zanon I agree. Those are fake friends.
that is very sad that you were ignored and left alone to deal with losing your dad. if you were able to get yourself through it then well done you. you were stronger than your mum by the sounds of it. it's just another lesson for you and through your experience, you will be able to have understanding for others which is so valuable. you'll be ok x
THANK YOU to all for your kind words...Susan Hughes, b zanon and AdaptaFilms.. XXXX. I can't understand why it takes a crappy thing to happen to find out who your real friends are.
Make a video about fear of rejection
This was the video
Thanks I really need to hear this today
I never used to let people get to me. But for some reason, there was one person from my past (before I moved on) that really did get to me. I think it was especially hard because I felt like I was close to being one of the fortunate ones that perhaps had a second chance with my first love. I had a hard time letting it go & still so even though I'm going to be married soon -- already married spiritually but soon legally. This is not like me. I don't know why I can't get over it. I prayed, read books, and so on but no progress. I don't know what it's going to take. I keep trying to tell myself there are way worse predicaments to be in. For instance, there are innocent people in prison, people dying of cancer, or children being abducted. Having these unfulfilled feelings can't be all that bad. I know I didn't handle the situation well either which doesn't help, so I have some guilt on my part because of that.
Great info,thx.
you are amazing
Bro..you are genius...!!!!!
I was looking for physical hurt, but thanks anyway
I can't imagine how one can live without judgment and opinion. Has anyone succeeded? If so please share how. It is true opinions change but they are always there.
God Bless you Noah
Surely a large part of the fear is to do with the evolutionary fear. That if you were rejected by your tribe it could be a life or death situation. Which is why the emotional reaction to rejection is so strong.
New age psycho-babble has no use for science
Yup
great video!
Your videos have helped me thank you
Thanks so much man love your videos
Thank you so much sir
I love you 💗... You are an angel Noah 😇
You don’t know how many times I’ve heard guys tell me that & I think it’s so stupid. Not every woman is the same. Just because someone hurt you in the past doesn’t mean the next girl is going to hurt you. It’s kinda insulting to me if someone said that to me actually. Like they have this pre mindset already. I’m like YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME. Why do they even look for dates then if they are SO afraid to get hurt? Honestly I think there must be another reason why people think that...
You have helped me so much:) thank you
Noah is amazing
What if a person has gone through a lot of abuse and rejection in life? Rejection from ones own family due to religion can cause a lot of conflicting emotion. How does a person get rid of the “anger?”
Thank you for these amazing videos, where did all those analyses come to your mind ? i am impress
Friday i got dumped by my boyfriend not because he doesn't love me but because he is returning to his family (wife and children). I trusted and loved him completely. Every day he reassured me that all was going well.I accepted his decision and didn't contact him, but now he is writing me every day saying how much he loves me.This is such a sick situation. I want out, I feel so much hurt.
You feel hurt because you believe that the reason why he left is because you weren't good enough. But, he only wants to be with you for one reason only. Because he believes it will make him happy. But, you can't make him happy. Nobody can make anyone happy, because noone has the ability to delete the thoughts that make someone else unhappy. You (and everyone else) will never be enough to make some happy.
Now, even if you want to be with him, you are scared to be with him because you don't want to get hurt again. But, that is a misunderstanding. Him leaving you won't make you feel hurt, you believing your stories about what that means creates your hurt. Question your stories, then do whatever you feel like, and you won't suffer.
Noah Elkrief
i watched this video many time the past month to try to understand it better and better,so basically and i have to say that everything goes down to trust: when a person closed to us says negative things about us it hurts us because we trust them, and the hurt we feel comes from the thought that we trusted somebody unworthy... that'is how I feel at least: stupid because I put my trust in somebody who does not worth it.
Tiffany Lorenzo So basically I am hurting myself. But how do I stop that?
Tiffany Lorenzo You dont trust them . only if they deserve your trust. But never let or give your full heart. dontl let him in too far. More love=more pain. Dont be shady and like not contact him. but dont get too close. I know it sucks that you cant be you, and be yourself and be comfortable and let him in. but this world is cold. and no one wants to get hurt or dumped. its risky giving someone your heart. And like Noah said. Only if you give thier trust, your love, your heart to them, beleive in them, you will feel pain. but in the same time you'll feel love then too. but yeah. cant have best of both worlds i guess..
I wish I could believe you
So it is about self-esteem?
i so fear about people always staring at me and laughing me!!!!Am I thinking so much???
Hi Noah..I just show ur video.. it good n helpful..my bf are very friend with other girl n I'm get jealous even I pretend I'm not.. my mind always think negative about it..and sometimes I think positive to make my feeling comfort..
was hoping to get some advice on letting go of betrayal .as no closure will ever happen
People most certainly do have the ability to hurt each other. Emotional abuse is not imaginary. You are not choosing to be in pain when somebody betrays you. You are not choosing to break down when somebody you love dies. Rape victims do not choose their anguish.