Narcissist’s 3 Depressions
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- Опубликовано: 27 май 2022
- I. Loss Induced Dysphoria
This is the narcissist's depressive reaction to the loss of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply - or to the disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds, the social unit whose members lavish him with attention).
II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria
Deep and acute depression which follows the aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these losses, the narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome - the absence or deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically, this dysphoria energises the narcissist and moves him to find new Sources of Supply to replenish his dilapidated stock (thus initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).
III. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria
The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of Narcissistic Supply. He fears the imminent loss of the source and the damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. The narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his extreme dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive reaction is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.
Narcissists mourn the loss of narcissistic supply; they grieve over vanished sources of supply; they bemoan the injustice and discrimination that they suffer at the hands of their inferiors.
Narcissists are often in a bad mood, anhedonic, dysphoric, and outright depressed. The narcissist’s mood swings are self-destructive and self-defeating.
Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative magazine "Psychology Today".
The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression (cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other).
This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).
While the distinction between reactive (exogenous) and endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful in the context of narcissism.
Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply and to a circumstantial inability to express their dominant psychosexual type (cerebral or somatic).
The narcissist's personality is disorganised and precariously balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat to the uninterrupted flow of said supply compromises his psychological integrity and his ability to function. It is perceived by the narcissist as life threatening.
Indeed, depression can be conceptualized as a reaction to the systemic failure of hitherto trustworthy and efficacious coping strategies, either owing to a seismic change in circumstances and the environment, or because of overwhelming new information.
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I was diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago and no amount of medication helped with my disconnect with social realities of my life. listening to your explanation is so life changing and eye opening. the mood disorder i was experiencing was absolutely a result of an underlaying narcissistic behavior towards everyone around me and treating them like garbage. Prof Vankin pls don't let the dwindling numbers you mentioned discourage the work you've been doing for so many years. people like me have absolutely no other source that might give even the faintest insight into what's going on and what's wrong. you are the only source I've found so far.
When I broke up with my narcissist Ex,
I was hurt that I spent long time with his madness...
But then , compassion was taking over
and I realized , that..
I might had to spend few years with him..
but he's got to live with it all his life!
And that's such a tough karma in itself.
@@waldowallenda4298
Ok . . . . I'm gona try!
🤣😭💞🙏✨
My involvement with a narcissist has solved 1 of my main issues. I wanted to be loved, and would do anything for that. Now I know I am loved, it's been a blessing. If a past negative thought happens to come across my mind it's quickly shut down. I know that I am loved, the rest is fun .
That’s right
The last 5 minutes of this talk are the best summation of narcissism that I’ve heard in any talk so far! Simply brilliant! Thank you
This is an excellent video and I could relate so much of this to my narcissistic ex partner who blames all his emotional dysfunction on him having Aspergers, but he relates much more to the traits of NPD. He is the most depressed person I have ever met.
Always talks about his childhood and what he missed out on and blames his father and he feels he is to blame for not being a wealthy man today.
So very true Sam.
Thank u for explaining this. It’s opened my eyes to the fact that me leaving was the best decision, as I could not take no more of his bad moods, anger and rage for anything and everything that’s wrong in his world. He once said to me “ I know, u just want me to be happy”
I just took a deep breath and decided to withdraw. He will not change and will not seek help and he is getting worse with age. I refuse be his emotional punching bag anymore.
It also explains why he would look so bad whenever I would see him after a significant time away from him and getting back together - he looked as though he aged 10 years. In the 5 year period he has aged so quickly. I think this is all due to his battle with his inner demons. If I am not around to regulate his moods - he has no other outlet.
It’s very sad when u think about it.
Your videos are indeed very deep and truthful. This one is so detailed from every conceivable angle that I began to see the complexity of the personality disorder so deep and clear that I felt compassion and empathy for the suffering of my narcissistic abuser. What a life of hell to be in and not understand why.
Thank you Professor for sharing your vast knowledge on narcissism with us. The amount of healing you provide is immense, and undoubtedly necessary in understanding these unfortunate individuals.
That was a beautiful lecture Dr. Vaknin! I loved your insights and how dense the lecture was!
We are all more or less in this boat.
Not sure about having NPD but certainly depressive. I never thought I'd get to a point where being me would cause more pain than faking me. Joy is rare and when it happens I feel like I'm entering the twilight zone. Being a failure gets so ingrained that success causes me grief. Everything is upside down.
A half of my life I spent waiting my perverse narc grandfather to become a really happy produktive appreciative Individual. I should have been waiting for something else. Thank You, brilliant Man!!👍🎁🌺💐🌈⚓!!
Thank you Sam, love chatting with you. 🙂, always enjoy your lectures, been here for 4 years.
WOW!
It makes a lot of sense that overt narcissism isn’t true npd. They seem to be more fueled by their own delusion of superiority than relying on “supply”
Yeah but usually those fall under Antisocial Personality Disorder
Hi I really enjoy your lectures we learn form you. ☺Thanks for the gesture you give to as.
Great video, well done👍
Professor Vaknin, why the narcissist appears so desperate to make us leave? Will it be because even after all the inflicted pain on us, still was not able to subordinate us? Of course, he is doing lots of things to take revenge. Sex withholding, silent treatment, extreme money restriction. Thank you for so much wisdom.
@@LindaBergerovaArt thank you for your reply. This is actually devastating me, he says openly: why don't you just leave (our child and me)??!!!
@@LindaBergerovaArt I really appreciate your words and good thoughts for me. They help me accept this awful reality. Another close hug to you 🙏❤️🌟
An example of karma in action, you are the creator of your environment.
love conquers all
You're describing my mother.
I am looking to fix my narcissm and hoping to learn being honest at all times, talk openly about everything, respect others, and still take risks to be better and being a better person on a regular basis. I am struggling with my objectification of others, my dependency on others, and opening up to others. Any tips? I swear I am gonna fight to be a better person every day.
Why are you fighting to become a “better person” in the first place?
@@Nietzcheanpath something we all do or perish
Allow your shortcomings and pains to be felt..moon what the baby you lost coming to terms with it..the enderlying envy and fear which cause alot of damage through your actions will slowly disappear
what your talking about helps me understand my sickness.The 3 depression is true and i believe i’m in that stage i feel i’m losing touch with reality im hearing things and can not go outside I feel like i did when I was younger alone. a child
Wow! Thank you.
My ex sent me a catfish photo of his "son" to show my daughter. I asked him why he did that and I never heard back.
Yea I was abused by a narcissit and developed an anxiety disorder ocd.
Should I as a narcissist end my life then? When everything I will do is creating hurt and pain. I am an utter failure at surviving without other people. There is little to no willingness to live like this anymore.
You Create to much drama ... go find hobby garden or somthing like this maybe puzzle ..... no animals no parter no kids ... go find another narcissistic friends and create drama together.....
I am reading a book called "selfcompassion" it has helped me so much, there are exercises and all, you can change, im just not gonna give up on myself, 18 years of depression and im going to get better! Does not matter how long it takes, i will get back with my family as soon as i can.. if i go down, it will be fighting, even if is only one day of the week i can get out of bed!
You can heal your broken mess . Fix your mess. It’s possible to change . You have to fight for it.
@@blueVesper this comment seems unintentionally hilarious 😂
Stop tolerate toxic people's oponion :) do whatever u want. Being narcisist is the same as being human. Everybody has a disorder. Bcz everybody call the other person with some disorder, bcz they can not say OKAY I MADE MISTAKE..just stop take too deep the things
Professor Vaknin would you do a video on MBTI which one is narcissistic and which one is targeted . Very interested in knowing and lost my glasses lol 😆
Professor Vaknin,
Very informative video. Thank you.
Could a mentally healthy person who is exposed to a narcissistic cycle be confused as a borderline or a narcissist in a clinical setting?
And if the person is exhibiting signs of grief depression emotional lability and social anxiety caused by this cycle is there a therapy you recommend for treatment?
Yes, you are the company you keep. But never to the core as a true Narc.
Wow!
I'm still watching lol
"Oh"
How about self-aware narcissists? Is there such a thing? If yes, is that meaning that that person has any chance of escaping/curing it?
Sam is self aware.
Found the answer in one of his videos xD
I've heard that 3+ years of therapy can help the narcissist understand their reactions, and more importantly build a sense of self. Something as easy as a favourite colour is difficult for a narcissist to identify.
@@nicohelpdesk435 "Can narcissism be cured?" I suppose.
@@annbraden2666 lmfao. As a narc, can confirm my favorite color does change often and this is definitely an indicator of unstable self.
Professor Vaknin, is there such a thing as "socialized psychopaths"?
Watch my videos on prosocial or communal narcissists and psychopaths.
@@samvaknin Thank you!
Self aggression, self harm?
Why would a therapist ask if someone self harms; and not ask do you feel aggressive toward yourself .instead.
Do they know that they hate themselves? And they pretend and that they have depression or they just project this to the others?
My experience is that they project.
I do believe they know they hate themselves
@@CK_2372 thank you very much for your answer
In my experience they use ‘depression’ to excuse their behaviour and make themselves the victim.
@@loopyloo788 They excuse themselves in any way ...Thank you very much for your answer!
who's to say that not all people live in their own fantasys? I think they do.
The difference is severity, cause and impact
how do you come back from the 3rd depression?
I believe a lot of us would be interested to hear your view on the Depp Amber case which is one of the most popular court cases since OJ Simpson. Psychiatrists have had different diagnosis and despite their expert qualifications, their testimony about Cluster B personality has been subject to much debate. Would be great if you could comment on these professional experts that regularly testify in courts especially Dr. Dawn Hughes who testified on behalf of Amber
Sam does narcissist handle their bodies when having an std?
Or they can even attempt to pass it along to a long time friend or acquaintance as a form of revenge against whoever or whatever situation it was that they got the STD from. "If something so degrading has happened to Me, then surely someone like you should know how that feels like for Me, the center of life and all its tribulations." Or something like that, I honestly can't know what she was thinking. When it dawned on me what she had been up to I went and had myself tested. It tested negative, fortunately, but other than that one clumsy attempt to "share her love" that time I remain asexual.
Oh okay so their self esteem only fluctuates when being criticized by needed supply ? Be chase I struggle with self esteem and it scared me that I may be a narcisssit
Ever imaginable😨
Wait, Donald Trump type narcissism, what?! Wow
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Thank you professor, I follow you on every single video, thank you for existing. ❤🤍❤️🩹