If you were ever in a cross-cultural relationship, what was your experience, and what would you add? Also, did you get the number of the Chinese gestures right? I'll leave the answer in reply to this comment.
Interesting, though having had 15+ years of relationships with Asian guys (10 years for the relationship I thought would be forever, sniff), and none born or raised in the US, I've experienced these things to a varying degree, but what's more important I think is the varying personalities of all involved. Fortunately the food thing came easy (credit a Cambodian lover who was accomplished in both Chinese and Vietnamese food, plus a multiculti metro area). Later, sometimes I actually preferred eating more Asian than my partner. Though I also adjusted my cooking style, which was especially tough in the early cohabitation years when money was tight and my budget repertoire leaned heavily toward milk/butter/cream based casserole's. Internal communication was never really a problem, externally I had to stop being a translator - eventually I realized that was demeaning. In moments of great emotion I also had to learn to pull back; it's not fair to steamroll over someone who isn't finding the words, or worse (rage) when English totally deserts them. But I do think you're right and we (the native speaker) tend to forget all the inborn advantages. Not to mention that, with the 'right' ethnicity and education, we're often given a free pass or at least lots of favorable assumptions that others are not. (Oddly, that even seems to carry over in the maybe 3 months I've spent in SE Asia over the years - you might be treated like a rube, but you're still an American - discussion for another day lol) Oh, finally language: with a little bit of English, I can work with any accent and derive meaning. But, aside from a smattering for French and much much less Spanish - I am the product of US schools and a frozen brain: no foreign language capability at all, let alone anything tonal!
@joe seeking Wow, thanks for sharing, Joe! So glad to hear that the content resonated somehow. And eating more Asian than your partner? That's interesting! I also loved hearing about your communication side of experiences. English does desert us non-native speakers sometimes (heck even Chinese desert me now), haha. And I think it's a learning process for both the native and foreigner speakers. A lot of times certain langauge use is a habit, as in things come out automatically without thought, and it doesn't always come out right. As a foreign speaker, I do personally find that I have to be more intentional at times to make sure what I'm communicating is getting across correctly. And for the native speaker, it also takes a certain level of patience and understanding, which I always appreciate it. 😉
I'm loving your videos. Your obviously a very smart guy that's very thoughtful. I'm shaking my head in agreement as your talking in most cases. That's rare for me. You know what your talking about so that's what's I appreciate. It's just also obvious to me you're a good dude. Dan is a lucky guy. Not Asian, but my Husband is Columbian and we definitely had to figure out issues since I'm the typical US white guy. Had to learn his native spanish, family culture etc as he was integrating into both the country and our relationship. The fun part for me was learning the new language and foods. The hard part was the family situation them being very catholic, relgious anti gay etc. We almost broke up over that since I don't deal well with the closet. But we ended up working all that out with some time. Now his mama won't stop calling me lol. Multi culture is definitely a challenge but I love it. It's a lot less boring and your constantly learning something new.
@John Iii So glad to hear that you are enjoying the videos! Comments like these are very encouraging for me, so thank you! ❤️ And I loved hearing your story. I can totally see how the religious beliefs and having to hide your sexuality must have posed serious challenges for you. Very happy to hear that you were able to work things out and integrate with your husband's culture! Dan is open to learning new things as well. We are both lucky to be able to share our cultures with each other. I also have heard stories about people not being as flexible to their partner's culture, so I wanted to touch on that in the video and provide a solution/alternative/perspective. 😉
I am Chinese and my husband is American. Food culture is a big one! Like you I need Asian food while he is perfectly fine with American food. I need variety so I sneak off without him. He is not as adventurous when we go out to eat. He won't eat Thai, Indian, Korean, Japanese, Mexican. Luckily he likes Chinese food. I dread traveling to Taiwan with him since he is accustomed to eating American breakfast. He may have to eat at McDonald's every day. Also he has no clue about regional cuisine. He'll want to order soup dumplings（小籠包) at a Cantonese restaurant. I tell him it won't be as good. One thing about him is he doesn't put all kinds of condiments on the food like most foreigners.
@taxman2nj Thank you for sharing! I completely agree that food culture is major. I'm also the adventurous type. Dan is picky but he is still quite open to trying new things, which I do appreciate very much. That has got to make it challenging for you, but the things we do for love, right? 🤣
Well, I would probably say one of them that came to mind first is wearing shoes in the house. Hahaha But overall, the culture in domestic hygiene is something I had to get used to. Three-second-rule was something new when I first came! 😬
If you were ever in a cross-cultural relationship, what was your experience, and what would you add?
Also, did you get the number of the Chinese gestures right? I'll leave the answer in reply to this comment.
And the answer to the gesture is ....🥁🥁🥁
6382!
Did you get it right? 😉
Surprisingly I did!
Interesting, though having had 15+ years of relationships with Asian guys (10 years for the relationship I thought would be forever, sniff), and none born or raised in the US, I've experienced these things to a varying degree, but what's more important I think is the varying personalities of all involved. Fortunately the food thing came easy (credit a Cambodian lover who was accomplished in both Chinese and Vietnamese food, plus a multiculti metro area). Later, sometimes I actually preferred eating more Asian than my partner. Though I also adjusted my cooking style, which was especially tough in the early cohabitation years when money was tight and my budget repertoire leaned heavily toward milk/butter/cream based casserole's. Internal communication was never really a problem, externally I had to stop being a translator - eventually I realized that was demeaning. In moments of great emotion I also had to learn to pull back; it's not fair to steamroll over someone who isn't finding the words, or worse (rage) when English totally deserts them. But I do think you're right and we (the native speaker) tend to forget all the inborn advantages. Not to mention that, with the 'right' ethnicity and education, we're often given a free pass or at least lots of favorable assumptions that others are not. (Oddly, that even seems to carry over in the maybe 3 months I've spent in SE Asia over the years - you might be treated like a rube, but you're still an American - discussion for another day lol) Oh, finally language: with a little bit of English, I can work with any accent and derive meaning. But, aside from a smattering for French and much much less Spanish - I am the product of US schools and a frozen brain: no foreign language capability at all, let alone anything tonal!
@joe seeking Wow, thanks for sharing, Joe! So glad to hear that the content resonated somehow. And eating more Asian than your partner? That's interesting!
I also loved hearing about your communication side of experiences. English does desert us non-native speakers sometimes (heck even Chinese desert me now), haha. And I think it's a learning process for both the native and foreigner speakers. A lot of times certain langauge use is a habit, as in things come out automatically without thought, and it doesn't always come out right. As a foreign speaker, I do personally find that I have to be more intentional at times to make sure what I'm communicating is getting across correctly. And for the native speaker, it also takes a certain level of patience and understanding, which I always appreciate it. 😉
I'm loving your videos. Your obviously a very smart guy that's very thoughtful. I'm shaking my head in agreement as your talking in most cases. That's rare for me. You know what your talking about so that's what's I appreciate. It's just also obvious to me you're a good dude. Dan is a lucky guy.
Not Asian, but my Husband is Columbian and we definitely had to figure out issues since I'm the typical US white guy. Had to learn his native spanish, family culture etc as he was integrating into both the country and our relationship. The fun part for me was learning the new language and foods. The hard part was the family situation them being very catholic, relgious anti gay etc. We almost broke up over that since I don't deal well with the closet. But we ended up working all that out with some time. Now his mama won't stop calling me lol. Multi culture is definitely a challenge but I love it. It's a lot less boring and your constantly learning something new.
@John Iii So glad to hear that you are enjoying the videos! Comments like these are very encouraging for me, so thank you! ❤️
And I loved hearing your story. I can totally see how the religious beliefs and having to hide your sexuality must have posed serious challenges for you. Very happy to hear that you were able to work things out and integrate with your husband's culture!
Dan is open to learning new things as well. We are both lucky to be able to share our cultures with each other. I also have heard stories about people not being as flexible to their partner's culture, so I wanted to touch on that in the video and provide a solution/alternative/perspective. 😉
The gestures are 6382😂
Taiwanese here🙋♂️
終於找到有台美同情侶頻道！👍
哈哈哈 台灣人就是懂！
我也開心給你找到了！😁
I am Chinese and my husband is American. Food culture is a big one! Like you I need Asian food while he is perfectly fine with American food. I need variety so I sneak off without him. He is not as adventurous when we go out to eat. He won't eat Thai, Indian, Korean, Japanese, Mexican. Luckily he likes Chinese food. I dread traveling to Taiwan with him since he is accustomed to eating American breakfast. He may have to eat at McDonald's every day. Also he has no clue about regional cuisine. He'll want to order soup dumplings（小籠包) at a Cantonese restaurant. I tell him it won't be as good. One thing about him is he doesn't put all kinds of condiments on the food like most foreigners.
@taxman2nj Thank you for sharing! I completely agree that food culture is major. I'm also the adventurous type. Dan is picky but he is still quite open to trying new things, which I do appreciate very much. That has got to make it challenging for you, but the things we do for love, right? 🤣
What's the most annoying thing that your partner does........ culturally?
Well, I would probably say one of them that came to mind first is wearing shoes in the house. Hahaha
But overall, the culture in domestic hygiene is something I had to get used to. Three-second-rule was something new when I first came! 😬