Dr. Elaine N. Aron, Ph D - Interview with Swedish High Sensitivity Association

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 77

  • @BFNLEO
    @BFNLEO 2 года назад +58

    Elaine, I’m sure you hear this a lot but, your work has truly changed my life.
    Going through life not knowing you are an HSP is like being a bag tossed around in the wind. Not only discovering I have this trait, but all the information you’ve put forth has really validated my lifetime of struggles. We know deep down it is really a gift to see the world this way, but the world is so overwhelming if we try to conform to it.
    I’ve gained so much strength in the last 10 years and I’m finally my authentic self. It’s still an ongoing process but one that I enjoy now. Thank you. ❤️

  • @susie5254
    @susie5254 2 года назад +76

    I will risk being redundant to say like so many others have said, that you have improved my quality of life to an unquantifiable extent. I always said that my mother was nervous about small things in everyday life. If you forgot your sweater, she would be frantic. But when she heard someone close had died, she was so strong as if she had been preparing just for that moment all of her life. (Being a Holocaust survivor on the run for her life ALONE from the age of eight, that might just be the case). When I heard what you said about the Israeli-soldiers' study, I was shocked: there it was, what I had been thinking about my mom all those years. Her constant imagining of horrible things saved her from breaking down when they actually happened (but caused her to be on edge and suffer anxiety all the rest of the time). Thank you, Dr. Aaron, for all your dedication and hard work. I hope it would not be inappropriate to send you a cyber hug. I just wish my mom could've benefited from your discovery so she wouldn't have felt so misunderstood all of her adult life.

    • @niknak1725
      @niknak1725 2 года назад +6

      Oh my gosh, I never realized this about my own family dynamic. Thank you for thanking Elaine this way. Yes, I completely agree. My life has healed tremendously learning about the HSP traiit.

    • @petekdemircioglu
      @petekdemircioglu Год назад

      💜💚🙏😭

    • @canditate740
      @canditate740 9 месяцев назад

      I agree with you. And I want to send you a virtual hug for writing this. Our experiences are different, but I relate so much. Sending you flowers 💐 💐💐 and love ❤️.

  • @user-ft7gq7qm3g
    @user-ft7gq7qm3g 9 месяцев назад +6

    Dr Elaine Aron’s book provided me a significant amount of comfort and validation, I felt seen and understood.
    I’m going through a divorce, my soon to be ex leaving me because I am “too sick for him”. He shamed and blamed me for exaggerating things, or simply being lazy when I would need to isolate and rest. As a HSP I have tons of allergies, light asthma and I’m highly sensitive to noises, vibrations…
    But when I finished the book, I realized that now I will focus on building my self- esteem that my soon to be ex crushed and will reframe my life in terms of my sensitivities. I want to lead a life that suited to my sensitivities.
    About to start her second book “the highly sensitive person in love”
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
    So grateful i found Dr Aron’s books
    🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @joem7893
    @joem7893 Год назад +11

    So far I have read the first half of Elaine's book. I am 50 years old, having spent most of my life searching and researching for the answer to my "mystery problem" that has progressively led me to withdraw from society more and more. I thought I was going crazy. Elaine's book has already been life altering for me. It's as if the whole book was written for me personally! I finally hit the target dead center! So I am truly grateful for Elaine Aron for helping to save my life! I never knew an HSP existed. Yet, I was one the whole time! So many answers have been flooding in the past week. THANK YOU!!

  • @robertkrzeminski1206
    @robertkrzeminski1206 4 месяца назад +1

    I have spent my life ,all 60 years trying to find the right shoes .I have worn many pairs trying to find the ones that made sense .Then one day ,I open a u tube video titled are you a highly sensitive person and suddenly the shoes were a perfect fit. You have defined my life and have answered so many questions and have clarified so much for me .I am forever grateful to you for this amazing gift ......

  • @Inprogress_of_newbeginings
    @Inprogress_of_newbeginings Год назад +5

    High Sensitive Society...I'm floored, as someone that just discovered who/what i am and finding out there are communities out there 👏🏾

  • @asmurk1276
    @asmurk1276 Год назад +9

    I am HSP. All my life I have been labeled as being odd. "Do you have autism?" I get that one a lot. And for a time I almost started to believe it... until I found information about HSP. It was such a relief to find out I was not alone with these sensitivites.

    • @cheeesysandwich
      @cheeesysandwich Год назад

      Unfortunately, you've been misled. HSP isn't an actual thing; it's a term this woman came up with based on her family members who then got diagnosed as autistic. HSP is just autism under a different name. If you relate to this, you're probably one of the millions yet undiagnosed autistic people.

    • @ceciliaantezanamarshall6792
      @ceciliaantezanamarshall6792 10 месяцев назад

      I understand what you say, rare, different, killjoy, antisocial and more. I preferid live alone for many years. Just a few years ago I found the answer to my feelings and I am not rare, I am great human being. Take care

  • @melcollins2232
    @melcollins2232 2 года назад +22

    Hi Elaine, I just wanted to say that your HSP book changed my life over 22 years ago. I am an HSP and I was working in a prison back then. And then after that I qualified as a therapist, and I spent the next 18 years working with HSPs. Your psychotherapy book was my bible and I still recommend it to other therapists to this day. Thank you for your amazing work. It was good to hear the comments in the interview about HSCs and schools. I am a published nonfiction author but I have turned my hand to writing two fiction picture books featuring a highly sensitive character, as I would like to help raise awareness about the trait in schools here in the UK. Next stage is to find a children's publisher. Fingers crossed. Great interview x

    • @susie5254
      @susie5254 2 года назад +3

      It is interesting and sad to see how few therapists have even heard of HSP or even CPTSD for that matter.

  • @amesuasensibilidade
    @amesuasensibilidade 2 года назад +11

    Thank you so much for this wonderful interview. I'm brazilian and I have a channel about the highly sensitivity. I have translation this interview and put is in my chanel. This is very important for brazilian public

    • @ClarissaAyres
      @ClarissaAyres 8 месяцев назад +1

      Hi, I am Clarissa, I have just found out about being one HSP (this week). I am Brazilian, so... Como achei pouco conteúdo em português, li seu comentário e adorei saber do seu canal. Estou deixando a segunda carreira, pedindo demissão do trabalho, pois eu não consigo estar entre turmas de 30, barulhentos, desrespeitosos em escola pública. Tudo é muito para mim. Estou dando foco em trabalho autônomo. Se você quiser fazer uma live um dia, acho que seria incrível para mim. Gostaria de me acostumar no vídeo. Sou terapeuta integrativa e já me cuido com florais e Aromaterapias. Foi muito restaurador saber que sou o que sou. ❤😊 Não sei se lerá este comentário. Vou procurar seu perfil.

  • @Discovery_and_Change
    @Discovery_and_Change 5 месяцев назад +1

    6:15 decreases as you work on childhood issues
    9:03 highly creative, sweet, empathetic
    9:17 they don't meet their own needs
    43:46 self-compassion, we want to have
    45:46 it's arousal, not anxiety
    46:34 how to improve: over prepare, repeat exposure
    48:27 importance of downtime

  • @TofuTeo
    @TofuTeo 2 года назад +14

    Hi Dr Elaine, I'm an undergraduate psychology student and I just wanted to thank you for quite possibly saving my life with your research. It's an incredible thing you've done with your career. I hope you know what a special person you are. Sending love and gratitude from sunny Singapore!

    • @cheeesysandwich
      @cheeesysandwich Год назад +1

      If you're a psychology student, you shouldn't be believing this pseudoscientific term. HSP isn't an actual thing; it's a term this woman came up with based on her family members who then got diagnosed as autistic. HSP is just autism under a different name. If you relate to this, you're probably one of the millions yet undiagnosed autistic people.

  • @JoyJoy-rr5qo
    @JoyJoy-rr5qo 4 месяца назад +1

    I'm a super hsp. I'm also the kind of hsp that needs to be out there. But having both causes me so much anxiety. So I tend to have anxiety if I'm alone or out there.. I'm an older pioneer to your book. I read it as soon as it was available. I cried and totally agreed to it except the part of escape to be alone. I'm not a avid reader either.. I'm an artist, having to create and more create. But my hs nervous system keeps me from doing that anymore.Thank you so much for your work!!!

  • @jane77722
    @jane77722 3 месяца назад

    I appreciate this so much and I loved the poem Dr. Elaine Aron shared at the end,
    "The Way It Is"
    by William Stafford.

  • @ariellemartinez5226
    @ariellemartinez5226 2 года назад +6

    Merci beaucoup Doc Elaine Aron. Merci depuis la France. Merci pour le "recadrage".
    Belle fin de journée.

  • @upperaustriaenglish3494
    @upperaustriaenglish3494 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much Mrs Aron for your research. I have come to realise that I am really a HSP, as I am constantly exhausted and my psychotherapist and my medical masseuse made me more aware of the fact. I am working as a teacher in middle school, so overstimulation is a huge topic for me. And I am extravert and do dramas with my students. I am very glad to have found colleagues who are HSPs, we have connected very fast and deeply.
    Just wanted to mention, that as a result of overstimulation, traumatas and exhaution irritable bowel syndrome has got me in its grip since childhood...
    It is very difficult for me as an extravert to communicate that I need peace and quiet, even to my husband.

  • @marydesmond2102
    @marydesmond2102 2 года назад +6

    Thank you Dr Elaine.
    Excellent.
    Grateful.xxxx

  • @KareolynnJewole
    @KareolynnJewole Год назад +2

    Hi Elaine I bought your book way back in the nineties Very good

  • @jennyfulcher8035
    @jennyfulcher8035 2 года назад +5

    Thank you Dr. Aaron for your sharing your years of research on HSP so that we better understand our individual temperament so that we can take better care of ourselves in order to thrive in our overstimulating world. Jenny

  • @crystalyoung3730
    @crystalyoung3730 2 года назад +11

    I like the term "High Sensory Person"

    • @mariomills
      @mariomills 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@jamesmccaul2945 didn't you know all words are made up?

  • @teodororaco4171
    @teodororaco4171 2 года назад +10

    Thank you Elaine!
    On my opinion your research about sensitivity is important non only for terapy reasons, buf also for learning and educational reasons.

  • @carrieg.4995
    @carrieg.4995 2 года назад +6

    Good to see you. Bless you❣️

  • @brianskitty3300
    @brianskitty3300 Год назад +2

    Thank You 🙏 Namaste 🙏

  • @alexanderalexandrou
    @alexanderalexandrou 6 месяцев назад

    Dr Aron's theory has amazing explanatory and predictive power with psychotherapy clients. A staggering number of clients are HSPs and need to be treated as such. It has been a breakthrough in my practice.

  • @manyBlessings2all
    @manyBlessings2all 2 года назад +6

    Thank you, very interesting. I'm late-diagnosed (female, at age 48) Asperger with some ADHD, and also relate to points made about HSP... grateful for the info to ponder and share

  • @izzythere77
    @izzythere77 2 года назад +6

    Thank you ❤

  • @nissamelton8597
    @nissamelton8597 2 года назад +2

    I want to thank the host for this enjoyable interview. Thank you for allowing the guest to speak and be the highlight of the talk.

  • @setphaser
    @setphaser 2 года назад +2

    I’m highly honoured to have this video shared to the public so I can learn about myself

  • @lunarsma8446
    @lunarsma8446 2 года назад +6

    Really wonderful to come upon some new content from you! Oh, gosh, what to say? So much to say! I'll keep it simple by first sending a big thank you your way.
    Also, when I was a kiddo. We would sometimes meet the trains carrying a lot of the animals for the circus which arrived in town every year or two. The elephants, and some other larger animals, would need to be walked to the coliseum. So, we would walk along with them. So magical! It's been a very long time since, and I can feel my delight, still.
    Looking forward to whenever your project is ready to be shared! Thanks, again!

  • @intuitiveDominique
    @intuitiveDominique Год назад +4

    Thank you for your lifelong research and observation. I also have a highly improved life experience because of you sharing your research. I have been able to learn to respect my way of being as a strength and allow others to be as they are :) ❤❤❤

  • @solvisveen
    @solvisveen Год назад +5

    I thought all my life that I was a highly sensitive person. Because it explained so many things I was struggling with.
    And every late-autistic woman I've heard share their story has said that they spent their whole lives thinking they were "just" highly sensitive. Because they did not know what autism actually looks like in girls/woman. And it is very important to talk more about any differences between being highly sensitive and being autistic. Because it can be very important for both life and health to get the correct diagnosis if you are actually autistic.
    When I almost two years ago began to understand what autism actually is, and how the diagnostic criteria in DSM-V are not adapted to how autistic girls/women appear and feel inside, there were more things than just the fact that I am highly sensitive that made sense.
    Finding out that autism is not actually a disorder, but a variant of being human, made even more of who I actually am fall into place.
    Fortunately, it is now recognized that autistic people often have a very high empathic ability. They can often feel other people's feelings more strongly than the person themselves. I have lived with this all my life.
    I am also very sensitive to many other things.
    I was very "shy" as a child, without any logical reason why I should be. Because I grew out of it in my teens, I've never really thought about what being shy is actually about. There were situations where I didn't even manage to get a single word out (I now know that it was selective mutism). Seen in the context of the diagnostic criteria for autism, prolonged and severe shyness is the same as having problems with social communication. You often just "get away" because you are seen as shy. And you are less of a bother to the others around you if you are "silent", than if you say something that might appear to be socially inappropriate.
    Because I am autistic, I am also sensory seeking, and not just sensory sensitive. For example, I like very soft and fluffy blankets, jumpers and other things that feel good to the touch. As a child I was very attracted to soft stuffed animals.
    I am very familiar with having a monotropic brain, which I didn't know what it was until I started to look deeper into what autism actually is. It is about the deep focus and love I feel for my interests. I can have deep focus for long periods of time on things I am very interested in.
    I like routines, order and system, but struggle to keep it tidy because I also have ADHD (up to 70% of all autistics also have ADHD).
    Because my autistic "special interest" has always been people, I have learned social codes and I can read people very well. It is quite common for autistic girls/ladies to have a great interest in something to do with people and how people are. Some form of psychology is a very common "special interest" among autistic women. Animals, fashion, anime, and other common girl interests are also common among autistic girls. But a girl who is, for example, very interested in horses, and who spends many hours a day on her hobby, will not be seen in the same way as an autistic boy with the same "intense" interest in trains. Even if the intensity of the interest is actually equally strong in both.
    A boy who arranges his cars neatly in rows, as many autistic boys do, is more easily noticed than the girl who arranges her dolls and teddy bears neatly in a row against the wall of her newly made bed. The girl is often just seen as "neat and tidy", i.e. something society sees as a positive trait.
    And this contributes to the fact that many autistic women receive their diagnosis late in life. Because no one can see, or notice that they are autistic. Masking is a big part of this. Masking begins so early that one does not know that one is actually hiding one's autistic traits. Many people often find that many of the things you have worked on throughout your life to become "a better version of yourself" are actually a large part of the masking. One wasn't really broken, or needed fixing anything.
    I guess I'm just trying to say how important it is to get the correct diagnosis if you are autistic. And anyone who recognizes being highly sensitive, especially if you are a woman, should take a deep dive into what autism actually is. The diagnostic criteria are based on observation of boys. They are not suitable for girls, and especially not adult autistic women. The fact that as many as 80% of all autistic girls and women are not diagnosed says quite a lot. Most of them do not even suspect that they may be autistic.

    • @solvisveen
      @solvisveen Год назад +3

      And I think that it is worrisome and unhelpful that Elaine Aron actually just pushes this with autism and ADHD away without addressing it. Because these are probably the two diagnoses that are most likely to be "misdiagnosed" as highly sensitive. Especially in girls and women.

    • @criticalthinker72
      @criticalthinker72 Год назад +2

      Yeah I've been asking them to do that about borderline also

    • @ld2091
      @ld2091 Год назад +1

      Thank you for a great response and sharing so more people can get the right understanding and recognition of their brains.

    • @criticalthinker72
      @criticalthinker72 Год назад

      I've spent years researching why I feel so out of place. Why I felt so misunderstood all my life? Diagnosed borderline. I think there is something to be said about borderline being a highly sensitive person with trauma. I think that's why Elaine doesn't address it and I think that's why dr. Fox does not address it. I have left multiple comments and got it hurts from them so I guarantee they know it's out there. Do they really want to get it all out there and figure out what's wrong with people or if it is in fact a gift if not nurtured might result in negative choices and struggles in life. There is one lady who has a website walking on eggshells and she looks at them all. The book she wrote made me feel like she had written it directly to me. So if anybody has intensity, borderline, hsp, or a empath, I would highly recommend reading this book. Her name is Imi Lo. Let's just say she's not afraid to venture outside the one word diagnosis.
      I do believe United States has been slowly poisoned our food, water, air the vaccines that they give us. You can call me crazy I don't care I've done the research. Good luck

  • @itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723
    @itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723 2 года назад +9

    Being an HSP, is an interesting experience. I have to say firstly that I am genetically Finnish, so too funny that you say the Swiss are said to be such.
    This woman is such a gift. As an HSP, I find it ironic that I am both chameleon like, as well as I’ve been told I stand out. Reality for HSP is oh so very detailed. I a female and am an Extravert, and I greatly value my time alone, and again love high sensation. But have learned Balance is key. Thank you for the research, and for sharing your amazing work! I Love that documentary. Saw it and it’s so apt, to your subject matter.

    • @ellik1165
      @ellik1165 2 года назад

      She said Swedish, not Swiss?

  • @Amwill123
    @Amwill123 9 месяцев назад +1

    44:30 Elaine on HSP on how to manage ones predisposition to high arousal as a highly sensitive person 45:40 "understand it's arousal not anxiety" .'prepare' 'seek criticism/review' "prepare for the unexpected" the importance of doing/the importance of purpose'.. .. 'TM importance/benefits' "

  • @sierranashbird4395
    @sierranashbird4395 Год назад

    Thank you thank you thank you for you, you have made me believe in myself. 💜💜💜💜💜

  • @UlrikeHensel
    @UlrikeHensel 2 года назад +2

    Great! Thank you so much for answering all these questions!

  • @Amwill123
    @Amwill123 9 месяцев назад +1

    41:47 Elaine's shortlist of recommendations for HSPs to manage a non sensitive world.

  • @Nate-fz3xl
    @Nate-fz3xl 2 года назад +1

    Can't wait for new content Thank you💜

  • @rachelsingermacdonald
    @rachelsingermacdonald 2 года назад +5

    Hi Elaine! I love your work and all you've said to this point, but YEAH! I don't want it as a diagnosis, bc they'll give drugs and numb people and say our natural, wonderful trait is a bad thing, and a problem. It ISN'T! Please don't ask for it to be a diagnosis! If people struggle, let's say, when we struggle, we don't need to be institutionalized for HSP a natural trait, but rather for whatever the issue is. Thanks

    • @susie5254
      @susie5254 2 года назад +3

      I think Dr. Aaron referred to it as a temperament trait. Did she say it should be a diagnosis? So that HSPs can feel more comfortable: There are various HSP online forums that can help people feel safe to describe how they are feeling.

    • @rachelsingermacdonald
      @rachelsingermacdonald 2 года назад +3

      @@susie5254 She said so in this video! That's why I put the comment. If you watch more of it you'll see. But it's not a disorder. If people have trouble it's not because they are HSPs, but because of other issues around that, or bc of other people's issues. We can benefit from therapy if it respects who we are and doesn't pathologize our natural healthy and normal HSP trait.

    • @susie5254
      @susie5254 2 года назад +2

      @@rachelsingermacdonald Sorry, I probably missed the past about it being a diagnosis. It's hard to imagine because many therapists haven't even heard of HSP.

  • @canditate740
    @canditate740 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ♥️♥️♥️💐💐💐♥️♥️♥️

  • @The_HSP_Essays
    @The_HSP_Essays 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for everything Elaine (apologies if Elaine is too familiar).

  • @aaishanaeem1545
    @aaishanaeem1545 7 месяцев назад

    Thank Elaine for making sense of my weirdness to me. I was at the verge of becoming mad and all relationships in my life were in danger but thanks to your research work now I know what went wrong and how to improve.
    Is there a close community or a group for Highly Sensitive people that I could join because I need a support group who process things like me.

  • @Healingestures
    @Healingestures 2 года назад

    Thank you so much still digesting the interview part by part 🧡

  • @yess875
    @yess875 2 года назад

    Thank you for making the video!

  • @windvanger_1975
    @windvanger_1975 Год назад

    Thank you 🙏

  • @Mindsetolympics
    @Mindsetolympics Год назад

    I feel my sensitive nature has been abrasive to some in the past, coming off even as a social awkwardness not knowing that the kind of questions I raise do from time to time make people bewildered or overwhelmed at me asking so many questions. I think thats the most it’s affected others in a negative way that I can think of. I think for me it’s been a great thing but now that I know I have it I fear people can tell right away and that makes me vulnerable to people from the first conversation…

  • @gomasubedi1530
    @gomasubedi1530 2 года назад

    God bless you

  • @cathrynpaterson7539
    @cathrynpaterson7539 Год назад +1

    Probably, my first word/concept was "WHY" and now I'm 72, I've wondered is it nurture/nature/ raised Catholic in Australia and it didn't help getting a Bipolar diagnosis at 28? So my question has been "who am I really?" Lately, in response to people accusing me of being sensitive, I've been researching the Autism Spectrum. Thanks to Ms Aron I can reassure myself that I am a HSP. I have become tired of doctors reminding me of all the Greats in the world who are bipolar since that has never helped reassure me!

  • @colleend80
    @colleend80 Год назад +2

    I have a question that I've been looking for the answer for years with no avail. No one of my present and past psychologists and psychiatrists or anyone for that matter could answer this question. Ever since I was 9-10 years old, I felt like an alien or a foreigner in my own country. I have started watching American TV shows and movies, listening to only American music, thinking in English (yes, I do mean thinking in English), reading and writing in English. In time, it only grew stronger. I actually feel like an American. Why am I like that? What is the reason of it or am I simply a freak?
    💔PLEASE, DO NOT WRITE ANY NEGATIVE AND HURTFUL COMMENTS 🙏🏻😥

  • @soledaddiaz5073
    @soledaddiaz5073 10 месяцев назад

    Nous sommes un An après, je peux vous laisser parler l'anglais que je ne pratique pas, me suivre dans ma salle de bain... Vous dites Juste et le simple "Son" de votre voix est Apaisant....

  • @leem3299
    @leem3299 Год назад

    For the men: "High performance nervous system"

  • @Nate-fz3xl
    @Nate-fz3xl 8 месяцев назад

  • @janlaag
    @janlaag Год назад +2

    She's literally doing this work since earlier than '96 and the west, made of our dear "evolved" western countries, is still full of not only legal but also institutional systems designed in a way that the hsp becomes a lifelong scapegoat or alternatively a lifelong guinea pig with zero rights and at their own expenses.
    Hsp by this day is still conveniently misdiagnosed (and it isn't even a diagnosis when seen for what it is!) as all kinds of mental and/or physical illnesses, treated with pharmaceuticals, gaslighting belief systems and hyper traumatising brainwashing methods that do induce actual illnesses that reduce the hsp to a permanent and unconsenting guest of structures that profit from having them and from keeping them ill until their very last day under everyone else's aloofness and even consent.
    This disgusting systemic dysfunction favouring nothing but the illnesses of all must stop.
    I really hope that the scientific world will stop self-destructing through feeding into the developmental trauma of those who direct it, for their own good and for everyone else's.

  • @Nate-fz3xl
    @Nate-fz3xl 8 месяцев назад

    What's the name of your new book?

  • @tiger92123
    @tiger92123 2 года назад

    我3岁的儿子性格敏感,大人说他一句他就很不开心,真是令父母苦恼。今天我从网上买了《The Highly Sensitive Child》,希望能帮他改善一下性格。

    • @mingguo3458
      @mingguo3458 2 года назад

      性格是不易改的,环境也许

  • @petekdemircioglu
    @petekdemircioglu Год назад

    💜💚💜💚

  • @tomolyn8108
    @tomolyn8108 Год назад

    #SuperSensing💝

  • @greg7680
    @greg7680 2 года назад

    ᑭᖇOᗰOᔕᗰ ☀️

  • @jackbenimble1373
    @jackbenimble1373 Год назад +1

    I have read the book. While I find it very relevant to my own life, I do find it pretty sexist in nature. Ironically, Elaine shows her distaste for the original Star Trek series because of "sexism". All the while using the sexist pronoun "she" throughout her book. The reader tends to wonder if Elaine believes that 90% of the planet are all women! I was beginning to wonder if most of the HSPs were female! Maybe Elaine should consider re-releasing the book with all the sexist material removed!