The idea that creative parenting solutions often stem from personal experiences rather than expert advice is intriguing. It underlines the importance of personal narratives in shaping effective parenting strategies.
The fear of facing the injustices that parents with disabilities often encounter is palpable. It raises critical questions about societal biases and the urgent need for more understanding and support.
The internal conflict you describe, being at odds with your own research and beliefs, is a powerful narrative. It speaks to the complex journey of reconciling theory with personal experience.
100% I never thought personal experience could inform research this much - but it does. It also speaks to the importance of having people with lived experiences as co-researchers!
I’m a single mother with limited sight and I always put my daughter in squeaky shoes. They were helpful for me and fun for her. Now, at 11 years old, my daughter pays me on the arm regularly and says, “Mama, I’m over here.” Having limited sight has brought us super close and has made her more compassionate to the people around her.
The emotional journey you described is something many parents can relate to... while problem solving is a huge part of the journey there are lots of other parts to it as well.
The small triumphs you shared, like the tower-building moment, are precious. It's those everyday victories that make parenting a beautiful tapestry of memories.
Your assertion that useful parenting solutions come from parents with disabilities is empowering. It challenges the stereotype and emphasizes the strength and creativity within the disabled parenting community.
Yes! That is what I wanted to do with this talk. To switch back the narrative and empower people/parents with disabilities. To remind people that different perspectives is an asset, not a liability and that we all have something to learn from each other!! 😃
Your message about not judging parents too harshly resonates. We could all benefit from looking for the unique solutions each parent brings to the table. Let's celebrate diversity in parenting!
I appreciate what she's saying about solutions not problems but sometimes issues are complex and the only way to work through something is to understand it.
Disabled or not, if you WANT children and have unconditional love for them as an individual and unwavering patience, that's what makes for the best parents!
Your honesty about facing self-doubt is incredibly relatable. It's a powerful reminder that, as parents, we grapple with our own expectations and fears, especially when faced with unexpected challenges
Sometimes the best way to approach a difficult situation is to just go straight through it. There's no amount of theorizing or researching or learning from others. You just have to feel it out and follow your gut
I think it's important to acknowledge that not all solutions work for everyone. Each family's dynamics are unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer.
Being a parent already made me grow in such amazing ways in terms of how I view the world and how I behave when there's a problem, hearing this talk has added a deeper dimension to that understanding. Thank you.
Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging journey, and your insight into the struggle to find answers is relatable. It's a reminder that, regardless of ability, every parent faces uncertainties.
"In a weird twist of fate, I had become the subject of my own life's work." - powerful words from Dr. Marjorie Aunos. A moving TED talk that shows us what is possible with the right mindset and determination!
I think her call to focus on what parents with disabilities have, rather than what they lack, is an amazing mindset to have and could be used on pretty much everyone.
Absolutely, it's a really interesting mindset and makes a lot of sense. Why bother lamenting what you don't have when you can just utilize what _is_ available to you
Thomas' non-verbal communication, throwing the block and watching your response, is a powerful moment. Kids are so much more aware than we give them credit for at young ages
They are!!! When my nephew turned 2 yo (a few years after my accident), him and I had already bonded. And him and I had found ways TOGETHER to do things with what him and I were capable of doing. We figured out a way for him to get into a high chair - using what he could do, with what I could do, and my directions. That is how we parent: with our kids adjusting to what we can do and what they learned to do. And we grow as a unit.
"There would be rules that we would need to reinvent, or figure out on our own." As a fellow mom who uses a wheelchair and lives with quadriplegia, I am so grateful that Marjorie has a platform to reveal the pragmatism demonstrated by so many disabled parents, while cutting through the myths and confusion around our perceived competence. Thanks for making us feel seen!
We have the ability to empower each other’s voices and that is an incredible strength!! Watching your documentary Dani’s Twins has made me feel seen too and validated my experience!! ❤
I think so much of parenthood is about facing the unexpected and learning to adapt within it to bring about the best possible outcomes. So it makes sense that people who spend so much of their lives doing this anyway can teach us a thing or two!
Her honesty about doubting herself after her accident is so relatable, it shows that even the strongest individuals can have moments of uncertainty, and more importantly, that it's okay.
Marjorie your message is one that every parent needs to hear. Instead of getting lost in the why, take that moment to create and act - and you'll find a solution and hope. Your humility and courage shine through your words.
Thank you so very much 😊 I also believe this is a message for all parents and truly for everyone. In getting stuck into the why… we sometimes miss out on what is happening right now. This is precious time and precious opportunities to turn simple moments into beautiful memories and stepping stones for our kids / younger generation to build on their future! 💕
I think it's worth discussing how systemic barriers affect disabled parents' access to resources and opportunities, which can impact solution-oriented thinking.
Yes!!! So many systemic barriers and attitudinal ones are the hardest to fight. I got too many examples of those… the most common: disabled parents are not capable (cause it looks different).
Thank you!!! I am passionate about talking about this 😂 I wish people could see how persons with disabilities can contribute to society and make great parents!
There is such importance in the inclusivity and understanding. Instead of judging disabled parents, let's appreciate their unique perspectives and learn from their experiences.
The critique of expert advice is thought-provoking. It's true, the vast array of conflicting opinions in the parenting industry can leave us all a bit bewildered. Your emphasis on real-life solutions is refreshing.
Everyone has an opinion on everyone’s parenting and sometimes that makes them believe they are experts. But parenting is complex and so simple at the same time. 😂 Do the best for your children 💕
A must watch Tedtalk for every parent, disabled or not. Speaking from knowledge and experience. Eye opening. We have so much to learn from each other. What a journey! What a woman!
The way you describe your interaction with Thomas under the table is heartwarming. It's those small, creative solutions that make parenting so beautiful and unique for every family. ❤
I never considered the struggles disabled parents face until I watched this. It's essential to recognize the strengths, resilience, and the valuable lessons that can be taught here.
I really struggle with out of the box solutions a lot of the time but listening to her, I kinda get it now. I just want my kid to see that no matter what, we will be okay.
A solution focused mindset doesn’t prevent us from struggling - it just helps us focus our energy and efforts towards an outcome that fits more our vision of what is important to us!
One of the best Ted Talks I've seen! Dr. Aunos's unique perspective as a disability researcher and disabled parent is priceless. Her message extends beyond what nondisabled parents can learn; it has enormous implications for the child welfare system! Children are removed from disabled parents at a rate greater than any other minority, not because of abuse or neglect but because of a lack of understanding and support. It's time to be solution-focused and stop overburdening our child welfare system with kids that don't need to be there!
An important and inspirational TedTalk from a professional researcher in the field of disability and loving parent. Marjorie's talk is eye-opening and her talent in storytelling is apparent. I had goosebumps at many times throughout her story, especially when she shared the poignant example that being able to attend to her son's hockey game was more important at the time, than trying to solve the colossal problem of universal accessibility. Marjorie's solution-focused approach to supporting parents with disabilities is highly deserving of attention, at a time in society where we are finally recognizing the rights of persons with disabilties to found families and parent their children. The world needs to hear from many more voices like Marjorie's.
It doesn’t take away the need to advocate so our common spaces are more inclusive and the need for services and policies that tailor to the needs of parents with disabilities (we know there are gaps). But those take time - and in the mean time I need to do “something”. And sometimes, you are right, when there are no or limited resources, I can’t find a solution in time. That happens and when it does - it is very frustrating!
I found it less frustrating and so my focus is not sidetracked by my emotions in the moment and I am better equipped to see what could work. And it doesn’t take away from my resolve to make more important and lasting changes afterwards!
Your point about the most useful solutions coming from parents with disabilities challenges the norm. It's a call to recognize and value the diverse perspectives that contribute to effective parenting.
I can't even begin to imagine what Marjorie went through. Her strength and determination are truly admirable. I'm inspired to approach parenting with a more positive and solution-focused mindset.
I really appreciate this talk Marjorie. I feel like disabled parents often carry an extra burden of having to constantly prove themselves. Content like this goes a long way to address the fact that they are completely capable, and shouldn't have to prove themselves to anyone.
This is a really amazing point... I hadn't been thinking of this talk in terms of disabled people "proving" themselves, but I'd also never thought about how there might be the pressure for them to do that in the first place
@@iamnotsomagicmike we know in research there is an over representation of disabled parents in child welfare procedures without any evidence of neglect or abuse. Ableist preconceptions often puts us in a position where we have to prove ourselves. Sadly.
I thought the stuff about having a solution-focused mindset was great! I can see how it would benefit any household, to not just dwell on a problem but instead to just get to fixing it!
I'm intrigued by the creative solutions you mentioned, like the mom with vision impairment using bells on her kids' sneakers, such creative problem solving!
I always relied on expert advice and books for parenting, but this talk made me realize that sometimes the best solutions come from parents themselves. Disabled parents have a unique perspective and can teach us valuable lessons.
You know what's funny? The billion-dollar parenting industry with its endless books and experts, and yet the most valuable insights are RIGHT HERE! Thank you Majorie!
Every parent could learn somethin from this person every non-disability person should talk to a disability parent and find out what is their parenting plan and pick their mind because this is great advice for all the parents out there
Your call for inclusivity and understanding in how we perceive parents, especially those with disabilities, is a message worth amplifying. It's about celebrating differences.
You have always been inspiring Dr Aunos - when parenting with a disability was theoretical, and when it became your practical reality. I admire your work, your tenacity. And I am so proud to call you a colleague and friend. Don't ever lose your passion for this field - we have so much to learn from you.
Easy: become an ally who notices and shares their observations about the lack of accessibility so that governments or building managers can make it universally accessible!
I use to think having a disability and parenting would be like a constant battle but this definitely changed my mind. I am so fascinated with this out of the box thinking style!
It also blew my mind when I realised that this is what every parent with a disability I met were doing! Because of lack of accessibility- we found ways to make it work for ourselves!
An inspirational talk from the internationally known researcher Marjorie Aunos. We can all learn from this brilliant talk. We all need to be solution focused and learn from disabled parents
When faced with a challenge, she didn't dwell on the problem but focused on finding creative solutions. That's a valuable mindset for all parents. Thank you Marjorie!
I love this TedTalk! Filled with life experience and authority in the 'knowing', coupled with professional knowledge and experience. An incredible woman who has found her voice to speak to all of us about parenting, bias, prejudice, discrimination, empowerment, success, achievement and ultimate love. A MUST WATCH!
I did find my Voice - after thinking I had lost it for so long. Me accepting my disability gave me a megaphone I can use to fight for the Rights of others!
I really had no idea until I watched this talk... It's crucial to shift our focus from problems to solutions, just like disabled parents do. This mindset can benefit all parents in finding effective parenting strategies.
Focusing on the solutions help get to where we need to go! It made the whole difference for me as a parent and it helped me focus on what I could do for myself which is so important!!
This is so inspiring Marjorie, both for people with disabilities and people who are overwhelmed by how many issues they're going to need to navigate when raising little people.
Wow, this talk was mind-blowing! I never knew disabled parents could be such parenting superheroes! Guess I'll have to stop Googling and start asking them for advice!
As long as you have unconditional love and see your child as their own person - not just an extension of yourself - you have a solid foundation for being an excellent parent.
This is so amazing, I feel like her work before becoming disabled put her in such a good position to have a really positive perspective on what disabled parents can achieve.
Inspirational TED talk! Society needs communicators like you to make a difference. The reality of parents with disabilities is important to me and I love how you approach the subject.
Society needs to stop underestimating the parenting abilities of disabled individuals. They prove time and time again that they can raise wonderful children.
The struggles you shared are universal in the parenting experience. Your openness adds a valuable layer for all of us I think. Being vulnerable and real about all of it is very difficult either way and you have already taught me alot. thank you
Thank you for sharing your story - I never tire of hearing it Marjorie - and for all of the important work you do to support parents with disabilities!
This video literally saved my life. I was also in a car accident and lost the use of one of my legs. The guilt I have that I can’t run and jump and play with my two little kids like I should be able to has really taken a toll on my mental health so much so contemplating suicide a means to an end for me which would result in my kids living with a family without a disabled parent. This video has taught me SO MUCH! Thank you for your courage! ❤️
Remember disabled or not u are parent they love and nothing in whole world can change that, i know it must be hard but please dont take that away from them. I know its not best example but i will say it, my Mom was from village and moved to town where we used to live in a building on 5th floor and when i asked for a pet dog or a cat she was always saying we dont have a big house with a garden and dog needs space while i always answered if we take a dog from a shelter who lives in a cage it will stil be better here among loved ones even if we cant offer what we wish for same as having disabled Mom or Dad is always better then missing him/her everyday and its not just when they young, loving parent is needed all their life and if sometimes ur in doubt just ask them how would they feel if u warent there.
I'm so impressed by the creative solutions you and other disabled parents have found. It's good to know that sometimes the most unconventional approaches bring the greatest success.
I think just being a parent does something to your brain in terms of your problem solving abilities. You start thinking in all kinds of ways you never used to
Thank you, Marjorie, for sharing this powerful message with the world. Sharing your personal story, along with your professional career, helps us all to consider our ableism and internalized ableism. You discuss so many topics that are needed to be had. Disabled parents make good parents; conversations like this help break down the stigma and discrimination of disabled people's parenting-a must-video to share.
I love that her response to her son at the 5:09 mark was to just shrug and decide new rules would have to be figured out. So much better than to have a complete meltdown and lament what used to be which to me seems like the much more obvious response 😂😂
I felt it was a decisive moment. I had to let go of the way I use to do things if I wanted to strengthen my relationship with my son. I had to make it work!
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The idea that creative parenting solutions often stem from personal experiences rather than expert advice is intriguing. It underlines the importance of personal narratives in shaping effective parenting strategies.
It gives back some power to parents. We can learn from one another and apply the strategies we feel fit more our own lifestyle!
The fear of facing the injustices that parents with disabilities often encounter is palpable. It raises critical questions about societal biases and the urgent need for more understanding and support.
Yes! We need to reflect on our collective hidden biases and do better!
The internal conflict you describe, being at odds with your own research and beliefs, is a powerful narrative. It speaks to the complex journey of reconciling theory with personal experience.
100% I never thought personal experience could inform research this much - but it does. It also speaks to the importance of having people with lived experiences as co-researchers!
I’m a single mother with limited sight and I always put my daughter in squeaky shoes. They were helpful for me and fun for her. Now, at 11 years old, my daughter pays me on the arm regularly and says, “Mama, I’m over here.” Having limited sight has brought us super close and has made her more compassionate to the people around her.
That is exactly what I am talking about!!! Thank you so much for sharing ❤
This is a really lovely story 💜
Creative problem solving is a valuable quality for any person to have.
So true!
My sister is a disabled single mum, thanks for speaking for her... bless you
This… is the BEST comment ever!!! Thank you for being a cheerleader for your sister!!
The emotional journey you described is something many parents can relate to... while problem solving is a huge part of the journey there are lots of other parts to it as well.
The small triumphs you shared, like the tower-building moment, are precious. It's those everyday victories that make parenting a beautiful tapestry of memories.
Small triumphs- i love that!!!
Marjorie makes a valid point that not even "the experts" can agree on the advice they give to able bodied parents. How daunting for disabled parents.
And I would argue that how we conceptualise parenting does take into consideration the reality of disabled parents.
Your assertion that useful parenting solutions come from parents with disabilities is empowering. It challenges the stereotype and emphasizes the strength and creativity within the disabled parenting community.
Yes! That is what I wanted to do with this talk. To switch back the narrative and empower people/parents with disabilities. To remind people that different perspectives is an asset, not a liability and that we all have something to learn from each other!! 😃
Self-reflection on our internal struggles is important, something we should all do without harsh judgement of ourselves.
So true 😊
Wow it's talks like these that make me so grateful for TEDx as a platform.
Love TEDx platform too!!
Same! Such an amazing source of information
Your message about not judging parents too harshly resonates. We could all benefit from looking for the unique solutions each parent brings to the table. Let's celebrate diversity in parenting!
Absolutely, everyone's just trying to be the best they can, especially for their kids
Yes!!! Let’s celebrate diversity in parenting!! 🎉
I appreciate what she's saying about solutions not problems but sometimes issues are complex and the only way to work through something is to understand it.
I think there are two steps: what happens / what I can do now AND how can I fix later so that it doesn’t happen again. Both are necessary.
@@MarjorieAunos Absolutely, especially the fixing it so it doesn't happen again part.
Sometimes you don't have time to go through all of that though.
Disabled or not, if you WANT children and have unconditional love for them as an individual and unwavering patience, that's what makes for the best parents!
Patience is definitely a skill all parents need to learn 😃
I never realized how lacking I was in patience until I became a parent.
Hold the phone! Disabled parents aren't just parenting; they're masterfully crafting life's challenges into heartwarming victories.
❤
It's incredible to see a parent with a disability defend their PhD thesis and then become a single mom by choice. Talk about determination!
Thank you ☺️
Your honesty about facing self-doubt is incredibly relatable. It's a powerful reminder that, as parents, we grapple with our own expectations and fears, especially when faced with unexpected challenges
And parenting does bring up interesting challenges! 😂
many yes...@@MarjorieAunos
Sometimes the best way to approach a difficult situation is to just go straight through it. There's no amount of theorizing or researching or learning from others. You just have to feel it out and follow your gut
This is what solution finding is. Just finding a way to get through it.
Being a parent is tough, but being a disabled parent takes it to a whole new level. Kudos to those who overcome those odds.
Thank you 🙏 We do our best!!
Being a parent shouldn't be tough though, disabled or not. A challenge, sure. But not tough.
Disabled parents are the ultimate example of human resilience and unconditional love. Kudos to all the Marjories in the world.
They definitely make you rethink what's possible.
This is a very nice thing to say
Such a beautiful sentiment!
Thank you Marjorie for standing up, while sitting down, for the rights and perspective of parents with a disability!
☺️ Thank you 🙏
This seems a little... something.
I think it's important to acknowledge that not all solutions work for everyone. Each family's dynamics are unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer.
Yes but I think it would be fairly easy to apply Marjories advice to most family situations?
TOTALLY!! 👍
@@iamnotsomagicmikeyes - the process would be the same even if the particular solutions were to be different.
@@MarjorieAunos 😄makes a lot of sense!
Being a parent already made me grow in such amazing ways in terms of how I view the world and how I behave when there's a problem, hearing this talk has added a deeper dimension to that understanding. Thank you.
Parenting definitely leads to some growth!! I am happy this talk led you to reflect on it!
This talk left me in awe! Disabled parents redefine the playbook, turning life's curveballs into strikingly beautiful parenting moments.
So glad it did!! Thank you 🙏
What a great way to put it!
@@evan-bailey ☺️
Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging journey, and your insight into the struggle to find answers is relatable. It's a reminder that, regardless of ability, every parent faces uncertainties.
Exactly and we can all find ourselves in a situation where we need to adapt and find solutions to new problems we are encountering!
Through each story, I'm reminded that love knows no bounds and the wisdom of generations can guide us through any challenge.
Love is such a powerful force 💕 Certainly one thing I discovered in through my journey!!
This is a really nice sentiment.
"In a weird twist of fate, I had become the subject of my own life's work." - powerful words from Dr. Marjorie Aunos. A moving TED talk that shows us what is possible with the right mindset and determination!
100% - the right mindset accounts for a lot!!
Absolutely. Not gona lie I teared up at that but the way she has persevered is so admirable.
Honestly it gave me chills
Realizing that it's okay not to have all the answers, and embracing creative solutions - a lesson in parenting, and life.
Realising that we don’t always have the answers- thus the importance of sharing our strategies with one another !!
I think her call to focus on what parents with disabilities have, rather than what they lack, is an amazing mindset to have and could be used on pretty much everyone.
Where we focus is where we end up! Focusing on solutions and on strengths gives us tools we can work on to achieve our goals and dreams!
Absolutely, it's a really interesting mindset and makes a lot of sense. Why bother lamenting what you don't have when you can just utilize what _is_ available to you
This is a good point. If more people could think like this it would be such a positive shift
💯💯💯💯💯💯
This is a great example of how the only thing we have control over is our responses to things.
Exactly: we choose how we react and where we want to pay attention!
This is an incredible point and something I think a lot of people fail to understand
Okay that is surprisingly poignant for a youtube comment section
well, thanks@@thomas-meyer
Disabled parents brew a special blend of resilience and adaptability, serving up life's challenges with a side of strong determination.
We struggle too but we do learn to adapt quickly!
embrace the strengths and creativity of disabled parents. all for it.
😊
Clearly the take home message is to focus our attention on finding the solution not being fixated on the problem.
100%
Thomas' non-verbal communication, throwing the block and watching your response, is a powerful moment. Kids are so much more aware than we give them credit for at young ages
They are!!! When my nephew turned 2 yo (a few years after my accident), him and I had already bonded. And him and I had found ways TOGETHER to do things with what him and I were capable of doing. We figured out a way for him to get into a high chair - using what he could do, with what I could do, and my directions. That is how we parent: with our kids adjusting to what we can do and what they learned to do. And we grow as a unit.
Absolutely. The way they respond to their environment is always so interesting
Definitely, it almost sounded like he was trying to test her
"There would be rules that we would need to reinvent, or figure out on our own." As a fellow mom who uses a wheelchair and lives with quadriplegia, I am so grateful that Marjorie has a platform to reveal the pragmatism demonstrated by so many disabled parents, while cutting through the myths and confusion around our perceived competence. Thanks for making us feel seen!
We have the ability to empower each other’s voices and that is an incredible strength!! Watching your documentary Dani’s Twins has made me feel seen too and validated my experience!! ❤
I think so much of parenthood is about facing the unexpected and learning to adapt within it to bring about the best possible outcomes. So it makes sense that people who spend so much of their lives doing this anyway can teach us a thing or two!
Parenthood definitely forces us to adapt !
Her honesty about doubting herself after her accident is so relatable, it shows that even the strongest individuals can have moments of uncertainty, and more importantly, that it's okay.
Absolutely and that it's totally normal to be a little scared when things have changed so much
So true! Embrace vulnerability and you will see how many can relate!
Absolutely, it's so important to be honest about that stuff
Yeah that definitely made her so endearing and relatable
Honestly it was a relief to hear this. I feel like I'm constantly doubting myself so it was nice to hear that other people go through this as well
Marjorie your message is one that every parent needs to hear. Instead of getting lost in the why, take that moment to create and act - and you'll find a solution and hope. Your humility and courage shine through your words.
Thank you so very much 😊 I also believe this is a message for all parents and truly for everyone. In getting stuck into the why… we sometimes miss out on what is happening right now. This is precious time and precious opportunities to turn simple moments into beautiful memories and stepping stones for our kids / younger generation to build on their future! 💕
I think it's worth discussing how systemic barriers affect disabled parents' access to resources and opportunities, which can impact solution-oriented thinking.
Yes!!! So many systemic barriers and attitudinal ones are the hardest to fight. I got too many examples of those… the most common: disabled parents are not capable (cause it looks different).
Oh wow...Her energy alone is mind blowing, talk about making the best of a terrible situation, and teaching and inspiring along the way. Amazing!
Thank you!!! I am passionate about talking about this 😂 I wish people could see how persons with disabilities can contribute to society and make great parents!
Absolutely, it shines through in this
@@MarjorieAunos Well the more people like you out here absolutely proving it the more that will start to happen!
There is such importance in the inclusivity and understanding. Instead of judging disabled parents, let's appreciate their unique perspectives and learn from their experiences.
😃 exactly!!
The critique of expert advice is thought-provoking. It's true, the vast array of conflicting opinions in the parenting industry can leave us all a bit bewildered. Your emphasis on real-life solutions is refreshing.
Everyone has an opinion on everyone’s parenting and sometimes that makes them believe they are experts. But parenting is complex and so simple at the same time. 😂 Do the best for your children 💕
A must watch Tedtalk for every parent, disabled or not. Speaking from knowledge and experience. Eye opening. We have so much to learn from each other. What a journey! What a woman!
Agreed! So much to learn from one another!
The way you describe your interaction with Thomas under the table is heartwarming. It's those small, creative solutions that make parenting so beautiful and unique for every family. ❤
So agreed!!! I love that story of him and I ❤
I never considered the struggles disabled parents face until I watched this. It's essential to recognize the strengths, resilience, and the valuable lessons that can be taught here.
Thank you so much!! We all have our own struggles and capacity to thrive - we just need as a Society to be inclusive to all!
I think it'd be a little strange if you just spent your spare time thinking about disabled peoples struggles, right?
Good to be aware of it though I guess. Conscientious and all....
I really struggle with out of the box solutions a lot of the time but listening to her, I kinda get it now. I just want my kid to see that no matter what, we will be okay.
A solution focused mindset doesn’t prevent us from struggling - it just helps us focus our energy and efforts towards an outcome that fits more our vision of what is important to us!
This is really lovely and definitely a normal thing to want! I hope they can see that too 💛
I think sometimes you just have to practice a thing until your brain is rewired - don't give up, you got this.
I think her resilience is so commendable!
Thank you ☺️
Same, an absolute powerhouse!
Absolutely, it's really impressive.
The collaborative approach you highlighted, where parents support each other, is heartening. It speaks to the power of community in parenting.
There is definitely a big plus in having a community around families!!
One of the best Ted Talks I've seen! Dr. Aunos's unique perspective as a disability researcher and disabled parent is priceless. Her message extends beyond what nondisabled parents can learn; it has enormous implications for the child welfare system! Children are removed from disabled parents at a rate greater than any other minority, not because of abuse or neglect but because of a lack of understanding and support. It's time to be solution-focused and stop overburdening our child welfare system with kids that don't need to be there!
So well said!!!
100% I was shocked when I saw how often it is for the children to be taken away, does not seem right by any means.
It isn’t right!! Especially since for most there is no concrete facts that explain the removal of the children.
Oh wow I had no idea that they took children away from disabled parents, that's so awfuI
We are so proud of you Marjorie!!! What a journey to witness, when's your movie coming out next? ;) - Dan Shaikh
❤
An important and inspirational TedTalk from a professional researcher in the field of disability and loving parent. Marjorie's talk is eye-opening and her talent in storytelling is apparent. I had goosebumps at many times throughout her story, especially when she shared the poignant example that being able to attend to her son's hockey game was more important at the time, than trying to solve the colossal problem of universal accessibility. Marjorie's solution-focused approach to supporting parents with disabilities is highly deserving of attention, at a time in society where we are finally recognizing the rights of persons with disabilties to found families and parent their children. The world needs to hear from many more voices like Marjorie's.
❤ Thank you!! I am so glad you think this talk can impact further change!!!
I'm not entirely convinced that every parenting challenge can be solved solely through creativity and adaptability.
It doesn’t take away the need to advocate so our common spaces are more inclusive and the need for services and policies that tailor to the needs of parents with disabilities (we know there are gaps). But those take time - and in the mean time I need to do “something”. And sometimes, you are right, when there are no or limited resources, I can’t find a solution in time. That happens and when it does - it is very frustrating!
It's fascinating to see the shift from a problem-focused mindset to a solution-focused one.
It is all about following through to our priorities in life ☺️
Yeah I found that really interesting as well!
Yes, and it's amazing how much more effective it is
I found it less frustrating and so my focus is not sidetracked by my emotions in the moment and I am better equipped to see what could work. And it doesn’t take away from my resolve to make more important and lasting changes afterwards!
It's pretty heartening to hear how much it works
Your point about the most useful solutions coming from parents with disabilities challenges the norm. It's a call to recognize and value the diverse perspectives that contribute to effective parenting.
Every perspective can give us all lessons about our own parenting!
thats true. @@MarjorieAunos
Disabled parents exemplify resilience and adaptability. We can all learn valuable lessons from their experiences.
I agree! And feel we can all learn something from someone else ☺️
I can't even begin to imagine what Marjorie went through. Her strength and determination are truly admirable. I'm inspired to approach parenting with a more positive and solution-focused mindset.
Thank you ☺️ I am happy the talk is shifting your perspective!
That's awesome.
I really appreciate this talk Marjorie. I feel like disabled parents often carry an extra burden of having to constantly prove themselves. Content like this goes a long way to address the fact that they are completely capable, and shouldn't have to prove themselves to anyone.
Thank you 🙏
This is a really amazing point... I hadn't been thinking of this talk in terms of disabled people "proving" themselves, but I'd also never thought about how there might be the pressure for them to do that in the first place
@@iamnotsomagicmike we know in research there is an over representation of disabled parents in child welfare procedures without any evidence of neglect or abuse. Ableist preconceptions often puts us in a position where we have to prove ourselves. Sadly.
Quelle présence, quelle éloquence, quelle vérité! Merci de nous ouvrir les yeux sur comment la différence de l'autre nous enrichit!
Merci ☺️
I thought the stuff about having a solution-focused mindset was great! I can see how it would benefit any household, to not just dwell on a problem but instead to just get to fixing it!
It can certainly benefit everyone!!! It just makes us focus on what we cherish most and how we can make it happen!
Thank you. Sending a warm salute to all of the mothers who are holding it down in so many ways. 🙂💯✏️🎺📜📚
Thank you 🙏 There are so many parents doing a great job!!
This is really nice
I'm intrigued by the creative solutions you mentioned, like the mom with vision impairment using bells on her kids' sneakers, such creative problem solving!
Yes! Very creative!!! I love speaking to her always as I discover new ways of doing things! Fascinating!
I always relied on expert advice and books for parenting, but this talk made me realize that sometimes the best solutions come from parents themselves. Disabled parents have a unique perspective and can teach us valuable lessons.
Thank you! I am happy my talk helped you see a different perspective! ☺️
Yup, who'd have thought someone with lived experience would be such a great source of knowledge? 🙄🙄
@@AlienCruise Seems rude.
@@damianreed1959 I think that's how they meant it to be
It's a weird comment because you'd think those experts are also parents themselves
You know what's funny? The billion-dollar parenting industry with its endless books and experts, and yet the most valuable insights are RIGHT HERE! Thank you Majorie!
Thank you so so much !! I have learnt so much for parents with disabilities and from becoming disabled myself!! Some incredible valuable lessons!!
How is that funny? Is this person not also part of the billion-dollar parenting industry?
Every parent could learn somethin from this person every non-disability person should talk to a disability parent and find out what is their parenting plan and pick their mind because this is great advice for all the parents out there
Thank you!!! 😊
@@MarjorieAunos you are welcome
Your call for inclusivity and understanding in how we perceive parents, especially those with disabilities, is a message worth amplifying. It's about celebrating differences.
It is exactly that: celebrating differences and seeing how everyone brings value!
You have always been inspiring Dr Aunos - when parenting with a disability was theoretical, and when it became your practical reality. I admire your work, your tenacity. And I am so proud to call you a colleague and friend. Don't ever lose your passion for this field - we have so much to learn from you.
❤❤
This just makes me wonder how we as a society can better support these individuals so they might have a few less challenges from day to day.
Easy: become an ally who notices and shares their observations about the lack of accessibility so that governments or building managers can make it universally accessible!
Agreed. If people were able to think beyond solving their own problems this would be a good place to start
I use to think having a disability and parenting would be like a constant battle but this definitely changed my mind. I am so fascinated with this out of the box thinking style!
There is a lot of merit to it and Marjorie is a real testament
It also blew my mind when I realised that this is what every parent with a disability I met were doing! Because of lack of accessibility- we found ways to make it work for ourselves!
@@MarjorieAunos That is really cool!
It is really interesting! I've seen a few talks from disabled people that really challenge the standard narrative and it's so cool
@@morgannfieldsThank you! And I agree: we should hear more about people with disabilities. It should be favored and encouraged and valued!
An inspirational talk from the internationally known researcher Marjorie Aunos. We can all learn from this brilliant talk. We all need to be solution focused and learn from disabled parents
So glad you liked it and think so!!!
Yeah I think being solution focused is a great mindset for anyone to have!
Life's a journey, and disabled parents prove that even on rugged paths, determination and a sprinkle of humor can guide us through
I couldnt agree more! Having a loving support system also helps a great deal ☺️
This is a reminder of just how many unexpected twists life holds and she has handled this one with such grace.
That's very true, you never know what's around the corner.
Yeah it's such a wild story!
Thank you ☺️
Yeah this definitely struck me as I was listening to her like wow
The moment she shared her personal story, my heart went out to her. They've faced unimaginable challenges with grace and strength.
Thank you so much ☺️
Yes, and they're continuing to find great solutions to everyday problems that shouldn't be an issue.
@@evan-bailey so true - some of these things should be a given. Being a Barrier-Free Society is what we should thrive forward!
@@evan-bailey It really speaks volumes about her strength of character
Love this so much!!! Thank you! I'm a quadriplegic that wants kids so I really appreciate this❤
Awesome!! You can become whomever you want to become!!
I never considered how accessibility affects parenting until now. We need to create inclusive environments for all parents and their children
Yes!! 100% building inclusive spaces is a must for families!
We need to create inclusive environments for all differently abled people - not just those with children.
@@bestpractice4040 100%!!
When faced with a challenge, she didn't dwell on the problem but focused on finding creative solutions. That's a valuable mindset for all parents. Thank you Marjorie!
Thank you so much ☺️ 🙏
I think that's a valuable mindset for anyone, not just a parent.
Very little good comes from fixating on the problem
Yes, I'm so impressed by her!!
This is a good point@@badkarma2005
I love this TedTalk! Filled with life experience and authority in the 'knowing', coupled with professional knowledge and experience. An incredible woman who has found her voice to speak to all of us about parenting, bias, prejudice, discrimination, empowerment, success, achievement and ultimate love. A MUST WATCH!
I did find my Voice - after thinking I had lost it for so long. Me accepting my disability gave me a megaphone I can use to fight for the Rights of others!
I really had no idea until I watched this talk... It's crucial to shift our focus from problems to solutions, just like disabled parents do. This mindset can benefit all parents in finding effective parenting strategies.
Focusing on the solutions help get to where we need to go! It made the whole difference for me as a parent and it helped me focus on what I could do for myself which is so important!!
Honeslty I think it could benefit everyone. I've never seen the point in focusing on the problem instead of just getting on with it
Had no idea about what?
This is so inspiring Marjorie, both for people with disabilities and people who are overwhelmed by how many issues they're going to need to navigate when raising little people.
Yes, being solution focused is helpful for many folks!!
I agree, very good practical advice here.
@@iamnotsomagicmike Thank you so much ☺️
Wow, this talk was mind-blowing! I never knew disabled parents could be such parenting superheroes! Guess I'll have to stop Googling and start asking them for advice!
Everyday parent with creative parenting solutions 😃
As long as you have unconditional love and see your child as their own person - not just an extension of yourself - you have a solid foundation for being an excellent parent.
😊
This is so amazing, I feel like her work before becoming disabled put her in such a good position to have a really positive perspective on what disabled parents can achieve.
Both perspectives really help one another and impact both my research and my life!
This is a great point! Talk about practicing what you preach...
Marjorie Aunos is an exceptional human being. What an inspirational talk! This woman has a gift and she is changing the world. 💎
Thank you ❤
We can all learn from these amazing individuals.
Thank you! I think we can all learn from each other!
Yes and we can all do better by being aware!
Inspirational TED talk! Society needs communicators like you to make a difference. The reality of parents with disabilities is important to me and I love how you approach the subject.
Thank you so much!
I appreciate Dr. Aunos' perspective on solution driven problem solving and valuing the knowledge that is available through parents themselves.
Thank you so much Dr Bachrach! Coming from you it is an incredible compliment! Your input and unique perspective is always one I am interested in!!
I agree though I do think "solution driven problem solving" is a lot of extra words for nothing
@@AlienCruise It is to highlight a different perspective/mindset. Finding what we need to do to make it work.
@@MarjorieAunos I just mean, what other kind of problem solving is there?
@@AlienCruise I think she is just trying to emphasize the point?
Society needs to stop underestimating the parenting abilities of disabled individuals. They prove time and time again that they can raise wonderful children.
Yes exactly! We need to stop underestimating disabled people!
The struggles you shared are universal in the parenting experience. Your openness adds a valuable layer for all of us I think. Being vulnerable and real about all of it is very difficult either way and you have already taught me alot. thank you
Thank you! Sharing or rather lending my voice gives my journey purpose! I want people to know about parents with disabilities!
Wow. I'm blown away by this!
Thank you 😊
Mind blown! Who would've thought disabled parents hold the secret recipe for innovative parenting? This talk is a game-changer.
Collectively we all benefit when we share our parenting perspective with each other. ☺️
Thank you for sharing your story - I never tire of hearing it Marjorie - and for all of the important work you do to support parents with disabilities!
Important work we are all doing!!
This video literally saved my life. I was also in a car accident and lost the use of one of my legs. The guilt I have that I can’t run and jump and play with my two little kids like I should be able to has really taken a toll on my mental health so much so contemplating suicide a means to an end for me which would result in my kids living with a family without a disabled parent. This video has taught me SO MUCH! Thank you for your courage! ❤️
Remember disabled or not u are parent they love and nothing in whole world can change that, i know it must be hard but please dont take that away from them. I know its not best example but i will say it, my Mom was from village and moved to town where we used to live in a building on 5th floor and when i asked for a pet dog or a cat she was always saying we dont have a big house with a garden and dog needs space while i always answered if we take a dog from a shelter who lives in a cage it will stil be better here among loved ones even if we cant offer what we wish for same as having disabled Mom or Dad is always better then missing him/her everyday and its not just when they young, loving parent is needed all their life and if sometimes ur in doubt just ask them how would they feel if u warent there.
That's true best advice 💯 your everything for them so please never don't think about suicide please they are so happy to have you
❤❤
Your story reflects a remarkable personal growth journey. It's incredible how becoming a parent can uncover strengths we never knew we had
💯 😊
Yes! I'm surprised by how much it changed me
I know what you mean!! I thought I was already a whole person, then I had kids and woww haha
Yes and at the same time it shines a spotlight on our weaknesses
I'm so impressed by the creative solutions you and other disabled parents have found. It's good to know that sometimes the most unconventional approaches bring the greatest success.
It is sometimes about finding the most workable solution for right now 😊
yes same! very impressive
I think just being a parent does something to your brain in terms of your problem solving abilities. You start thinking in all kinds of ways you never used to
It definitely does!
This hasn't really been my experience but maybe I'm still too new to it
Thank you, Marjorie, for sharing this powerful message with the world. Sharing your personal story, along with your professional career, helps us all to consider our ableism and internalized ableism. You discuss so many topics that are needed to be had. Disabled parents make good parents; conversations like this help break down the stigma and discrimination of disabled people's parenting-a must-video to share.
Thank you Erin! You hit it about me speaking on Ableism!!
limitations don't define us, it's all about what we can do with what we have. very inspiring!
Thank you ☺️
This is so true, if we let our limitations affect our mindset we'd never be able to move past them
Yes, best to make the most of things!
Things you have, I mean haha
Insightful and eye-opening! @MarjorieAunos, you are a great communicator! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge.
Thank you for watching and sharing!!
Fantastic job, Marjorie! A critical perspective for everyone, especially for those working with children and families.
So glad!!
I love that her response to her son at the 5:09 mark was to just shrug and decide new rules would have to be figured out. So much better than to have a complete meltdown and lament what used to be which to me seems like the much more obvious response 😂😂
I felt it was a decisive moment. I had to let go of the way I use to do things if I wanted to strengthen my relationship with my son. I had to make it work!
Haha! Absolutely. Doesn't lead to solution based outcomes though does it? 😅