What we can learn from parents with disabilities | Marjorie Aunos | TEDxWesternU

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  • Опубликовано: 14 июн 2023
  • Parenting is a tough landscape to navigate, and a newfound disability creates unique problems that require unique solutions. Dr. Marjorie Aunos is a psychologist conducting research on parenting with disabilities. Drawing from that research and from personal experience, Dr. Aunos explains why disabled parents are often the best source of parenting advice - because they have been forced to find solutions to fit complex needs quickly and effectively their whole lives.
    Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D. is a single-mother-by-choice living with a Spinal Cord Injury. She is a renowned Psychologist and researcher in the field of Parenting with Disabilities, an Award-Winning Inspirational Speaker and Author of Mom on Wheels: The Power of Purpose as a Parent with Paraplegia. She lives in Montreal, Canada. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 525

  • @Usyard
    @Usyard 7 месяцев назад +3

    Disabled parents are the ultimate example of human resilience and unconditional love. Kudos to all the Marjories in the world.

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier 6 месяцев назад

      They definitely make you rethink what's possible.

    • @nubblesleopard9735
      @nubblesleopard9735 6 месяцев назад

      This is a very nice thing to say

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha 3 месяца назад

      Such a beautiful sentiment!

  • @MarcoPasqua
    @MarcoPasqua 11 месяцев назад +2

    "In a weird twist of fate, I had become the subject of my own life's work." - powerful words from Dr. Marjorie Aunos. A moving TED talk that shows us what is possible with the right mindset and determination!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      100% - the right mindset accounts for a lot!!

    • @lilygrander
      @lilygrander 11 месяцев назад +1

      Absolutely. Not gona lie I teared up at that but the way she has persevered is so admirable.

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 9 месяцев назад

      Honestly it gave me chills

  • @sagehavenassociates
    @sagehavenassociates 11 месяцев назад +4

    One of the best Ted Talks I've seen! Dr. Aunos's unique perspective as a disability researcher and disabled parent is priceless. Her message extends beyond what nondisabled parents can learn; it has enormous implications for the child welfare system! Children are removed from disabled parents at a rate greater than any other minority, not because of abuse or neglect but because of a lack of understanding and support. It's time to be solution-focused and stop overburdening our child welfare system with kids that don't need to be there!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      So well said!!!

    • @lilygrander
      @lilygrander 11 месяцев назад +1

      100% I was shocked when I saw how often it is for the children to be taken away, does not seem right by any means.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      It isn’t right!! Especially since for most there is no concrete facts that explain the removal of the children.

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha 3 месяца назад

      Oh wow I had no idea that they took children away from disabled parents, that's so awfuI

  • @camilaanders3419
    @camilaanders3419 3 месяца назад +1

    The fear of facing the injustices that parents with disabilities often encounter is palpable. It raises critical questions about societal biases and the urgent need for more understanding and support.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 3 месяца назад

      Yes! We need to reflect on our collective hidden biases and do better!

  • @user-mm5dt6us5i
    @user-mm5dt6us5i 11 месяцев назад +6

    A must watch Tedtalk for every parent, disabled or not. Speaking from knowledge and experience. Eye opening. We have so much to learn from each other. What a journey! What a woman!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад +1

      Agreed! So much to learn from one another!

  • @pennyhooker
    @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад +1

    Parenting can be as much about navigating emotions as it is about solving problems, and it is incredible at times how much being a parent opens you up, emotionally.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Definitely! Parenting pushes us to our limits and forces us to learn and master a lot of skills we thought we knew already 😮

  • @amagodatfortnite
    @amagodatfortnite 9 месяцев назад +1

    Hold the phone! Disabled parents aren't just parenting; they're masterfully crafting life's challenges into heartwarming victories.

  • @ezekielaliss
    @ezekielaliss 4 месяца назад +1

    The small triumphs you shared, like the tower-building moment, are precious. It's those everyday victories that make parenting a beautiful tapestry of memories.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Small triumphs- i love that!!!

  • @americapatton9266
    @americapatton9266 7 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you. Sending a warm salute to all of the mothers who are holding it down in so many ways. 🙂💯✏️🎺📜📚

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 7 месяцев назад

      Thank you 🙏 There are so many parents doing a great job!!

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 6 месяцев назад

      This is really nice

  • @shirleytross
    @shirleytross 4 месяца назад +1

    Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging journey, and your insight into the struggle to find answers is relatable. It's a reminder that, regardless of ability, every parent faces uncertainties.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Exactly and we can all find ourselves in a situation where we need to adapt and find solutions to new problems we are encountering!

  • @conradthelegendwhite
    @conradthelegendwhite 3 месяца назад +1

    The internal conflict you describe, being at odds with your own research and beliefs, is a powerful narrative. It speaks to the complex journey of reconciling theory with personal experience.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 3 месяца назад

      100% I never thought personal experience could inform research this much - but it does. It also speaks to the importance of having people with lived experiences as co-researchers!

  • @DrMargaretRutherford
    @DrMargaretRutherford 6 месяцев назад +1

    Marjorie your message is one that every parent needs to hear. Instead of getting lost in the why, take that moment to create and act - and you'll find a solution and hope. Your humility and courage shine through your words.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Thank you so very much 😊 I also believe this is a message for all parents and truly for everyone. In getting stuck into the why… we sometimes miss out on what is happening right now. This is precious time and precious opportunities to turn simple moments into beautiful memories and stepping stones for our kids / younger generation to build on their future! 💕

  • @fantastic.shoppingaddict
    @fantastic.shoppingaddict 9 месяцев назад +1

    This talk left me in awe! Disabled parents redefine the playbook, turning life's curveballs into strikingly beautiful parenting moments.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      So glad it did!! Thank you 🙏

    • @evan-bailey
      @evan-bailey 9 месяцев назад +1

      What a great way to put it!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      @@evan-bailey ☺️

  • @dudley4318
    @dudley4318 10 месяцев назад +1

    It's incredible to see a parent with a disability defend their PhD thesis and then become a single mom by choice. Talk about determination!

  • @user-eh4kz6jy8s
    @user-eh4kz6jy8s 11 месяцев назад +5

    An important and inspirational TedTalk from a professional researcher in the field of disability and loving parent. Marjorie's talk is eye-opening and her talent in storytelling is apparent. I had goosebumps at many times throughout her story, especially when she shared the poignant example that being able to attend to her son's hockey game was more important at the time, than trying to solve the colossal problem of universal accessibility. Marjorie's solution-focused approach to supporting parents with disabilities is highly deserving of attention, at a time in society where we are finally recognizing the rights of persons with disabilties to found families and parent their children. The world needs to hear from many more voices like Marjorie's.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад +2

      ❤ Thank you!! I am so glad you think this talk can impact further change!!!

  • @heatherleighsunaoka9524
    @heatherleighsunaoka9524 5 месяцев назад +1

    I’m a single mother with limited sight and I always put my daughter in squeaky shoes. They were helpful for me and fun for her. Now, at 11 years old, my daughter pays me on the arm regularly and says, “Mama, I’m over here.” Having limited sight has brought us super close and has made her more compassionate to the people around her.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      That is exactly what I am talking about!!! Thank you so much for sharing ❤

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton 5 месяцев назад +1

      This is a really lovely story 💜

  • @patrickspringer9912
    @patrickspringer9912 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you Marjorie for standing up, while sitting down, for the rights and perspective of parents with a disability!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      ☺️ Thank you 🙏

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier 6 месяцев назад

      This seems a little... something.

  • @rmmuskeet3831
    @rmmuskeet3831 10 месяцев назад +2

    I always relied on expert advice and books for parenting, but this talk made me realize that sometimes the best solutions come from parents themselves. Disabled parents have a unique perspective and can teach us valuable lessons.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you! I am happy my talk helped you see a different perspective! ☺️

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад +1

      Yup, who'd have thought someone with lived experience would be such a great source of knowledge? 🙄🙄

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 9 месяцев назад

      @@AlienCruise Seems rude.

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather 3 месяца назад

      @@damianreed1959 I think that's how they meant it to be

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather 3 месяца назад

      It's a weird comment because you'd think those experts are also parents themselves

  • @thomas-meyer
    @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад +1

    Your honesty about facing self-doubt is incredibly relatable. It's a powerful reminder that, as parents, we grapple with our own expectations and fears, especially when faced with unexpected challenges

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      And parenting does bring up interesting challenges! 😂

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад +1

      many yes...@@MarjorieAunos

  • @charlottewebbnotthebook
    @charlottewebbnotthebook 11 месяцев назад +1

    Being a parent is tough, but being a disabled parent takes it to a whole new level. Kudos to those who overcome those odds.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you 🙏 We do our best!!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields 9 месяцев назад

      Being a parent shouldn't be tough though, disabled or not. A challenge, sure. But not tough.

  • @harmonyhadley5216
    @harmonyhadley5216 4 месяца назад +1

    Thomas' non-verbal communication, throwing the block and watching your response, is a powerful moment. Kids are so much more aware than we give them credit for at young ages

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      They are!!! When my nephew turned 2 yo (a few years after my accident), him and I had already bonded. And him and I had found ways TOGETHER to do things with what him and I were capable of doing. We figured out a way for him to get into a high chair - using what he could do, with what I could do, and my directions. That is how we parent: with our kids adjusting to what we can do and what they learned to do. And we grow as a unit.

    • @bigfatfather
      @bigfatfather 3 месяца назад

      Absolutely. The way they respond to their environment is always so interesting

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha 3 месяца назад

      Definitely, it almost sounded like he was trying to test her

  • @bethtarleton4696
    @bethtarleton4696 11 месяцев назад +2

    An inspirational talk from the internationally known researcher Marjorie Aunos. We can all learn from this brilliant talk. We all need to be solution focused and learn from disabled parents

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      So glad you liked it and think so!!!

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier 6 месяцев назад

      Yeah I think being solution focused is a great mindset for anyone to have!

  • @michaelhunt635
    @michaelhunt635 9 месяцев назад +1

    Realizing that it's okay not to have all the answers, and embracing creative solutions - a lesson in parenting, and life.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      Realising that we don’t always have the answers- thus the importance of sharing our strategies with one another !!

  • @dianalorenaarevalosuarez
    @dianalorenaarevalosuarez 4 месяца назад +1

    The idea that creative parenting solutions often stem from personal experiences rather than expert advice is intriguing. It underlines the importance of personal narratives in shaping effective parenting strategies.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      It gives back some power to parents. We can learn from one another and apply the strategies we feel fit more our own lifestyle!

  • @erikdangor
    @erikdangor 7 месяцев назад +1

    My sister is a disabled single mum, thanks for speaking for her... bless you

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 7 месяцев назад

      This… is the BEST comment ever!!! Thank you for being a cheerleader for your sister!!

  • @jycintabrown
    @jycintabrown 9 месяцев назад +1

    Disabled parents brew a special blend of resilience and adaptability, serving up life's challenges with a side of strong determination.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      We struggle too but we do learn to adapt quickly!

  • @rooseveltmartens9918
    @rooseveltmartens9918 11 месяцев назад +2

    Disabled or not, if you WANT children and have unconditional love for them as an individual and unwavering patience, that's what makes for the best parents!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Patience is definitely a skill all parents need to learn 😃

    • @dudley4318
      @dudley4318 10 месяцев назад +1

      I never realized how lacking I was in patience until I became a parent.

  • @notthatoneorthoseones
    @notthatoneorthoseones 6 месяцев назад +1

    Her honesty about doubting herself after her accident is so relatable, it shows that even the strongest individuals can have moments of uncertainty, and more importantly, that it's okay.

    • @nubblesleopard9735
      @nubblesleopard9735 6 месяцев назад

      Absolutely and that it's totally normal to be a little scared when things have changed so much

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      So true! Embrace vulnerability and you will see how many can relate!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад

      Absolutely, it's so important to be honest about that stuff

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah that definitely made her so endearing and relatable

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад

      Honestly it was a relief to hear this. I feel like I'm constantly doubting myself so it was nice to hear that other people go through this as well

  • @helenimnotready
    @helenimnotready 9 месяцев назад +1

    Through each story, I'm reminded that love knows no bounds and the wisdom of generations can guide us through any challenge.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      Love is such a powerful force 💕 Certainly one thing I discovered in through my journey!!

    • @damianreed1959
      @damianreed1959 9 месяцев назад +1

      This is a really nice sentiment.

  • @user-ou7ex1oo1l
    @user-ou7ex1oo1l 11 месяцев назад +2

    I love this TedTalk! Filled with life experience and authority in the 'knowing', coupled with professional knowledge and experience. An incredible woman who has found her voice to speak to all of us about parenting, bias, prejudice, discrimination, empowerment, success, achievement and ultimate love. A MUST WATCH!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      I did find my Voice - after thinking I had lost it for so long. Me accepting my disability gave me a megaphone I can use to fight for the Rights of others!

  • @IShotSmiley
    @IShotSmiley 4 месяца назад +1

    The collaborative approach you highlighted, where parents support each other, is heartening. It speaks to the power of community in parenting.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      There is definitely a big plus in having a community around families!!

  • @Chatzapper
    @Chatzapper 7 месяцев назад +1

    embrace the strengths and creativity of disabled parents. all for it.

  • @daniizzie
    @daniizzie 11 месяцев назад +1

    "There would be rules that we would need to reinvent, or figure out on our own." As a fellow mom who uses a wheelchair and lives with quadriplegia, I am so grateful that Marjorie has a platform to reveal the pragmatism demonstrated by so many disabled parents, while cutting through the myths and confusion around our perceived competence. Thanks for making us feel seen!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      We have the ability to empower each other’s voices and that is an incredible strength!! Watching your documentary Dani’s Twins has made me feel seen too and validated my experience!! ❤

  • @harrisonstenson8324
    @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад +1

    Being a parent already made me grow in such amazing ways in terms of how I view the world and how I behave when there's a problem, hearing this talk has added a deeper dimension to that understanding. Thank you.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Parenting definitely leads to some growth!! I am happy this talk led you to reflect on it!

  • @StarfireStarleena
    @StarfireStarleena 11 месяцев назад +5

    When faced with a challenge, she didn't dwell on the problem but focused on finding creative solutions. That's a valuable mindset for all parents. Thank you Marjorie!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you so much ☺️ 🙏

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 9 месяцев назад +1

      I think that's a valuable mindset for anyone, not just a parent.

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 9 месяцев назад +2

      Very little good comes from fixating on the problem

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin 9 месяцев назад +2

      Yes, I'm so impressed by her!!

    • @elliotnesster
      @elliotnesster 9 месяцев назад

      This is a good point@@badkarma2005

  • @coreykansasbell
    @coreykansasbell 6 месяцев назад +1

    Your message about not judging parents too harshly resonates. We could all benefit from looking for the unique solutions each parent brings to the table. Let's celebrate diversity in parenting!

    • @nubblesleopard9735
      @nubblesleopard9735 6 месяцев назад +1

      Absolutely, everyone's just trying to be the best they can, especially for their kids

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Yes!!! Let’s celebrate diversity in parenting!! 🎉

  • @nubblesleopard9735
    @nubblesleopard9735 6 месяцев назад +1

    The way you describe your interaction with Thomas under the table is heartwarming. It's those small, creative solutions that make parenting so beautiful and unique for every family. ❤

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      So agreed!!! I love that story of him and I ❤

  • @braydenteagan5572
    @braydenteagan5572 3 месяца назад +1

    Your assertion that useful parenting solutions come from parents with disabilities is empowering. It challenges the stereotype and emphasizes the strength and creativity within the disabled parenting community.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 3 месяца назад

      Yes! That is what I wanted to do with this talk. To switch back the narrative and empower people/parents with disabilities. To remind people that different perspectives is an asset, not a liability and that we all have something to learn from each other!! 😃

  • @caro.7487
    @caro.7487 9 месяцев назад +2

    I can't even begin to imagine what Marjorie went through. Her strength and determination are truly admirable. I'm inspired to approach parenting with a more positive and solution-focused mindset.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      Thank you ☺️ I am happy the talk is shifting your perspective!

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier 6 месяцев назад

      That's awesome.

  • @theoscarnunez
    @theoscarnunez 8 месяцев назад +1

    Marjorie makes a valid point that not even "the experts" can agree on the advice they give to able bodied parents. How daunting for disabled parents.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      And I would argue that how we conceptualise parenting does take into consideration the reality of disabled parents.

  • @elliotnesster
    @elliotnesster 9 месяцев назад +1

    There is such importance in the inclusivity and understanding. Instead of judging disabled parents, let's appreciate their unique perspectives and learn from their experiences.

  • @rachelgolding905
    @rachelgolding905 11 месяцев назад +2

    You have always been inspiring Dr Aunos - when parenting with a disability was theoretical, and when it became your practical reality. I admire your work, your tenacity. And I am so proud to call you a colleague and friend. Don't ever lose your passion for this field - we have so much to learn from you.

  • @pengzhou6952
    @pengzhou6952 3 месяца назад +1

    Self-reflection on our internal struggles is important, something we should all do without harsh judgement of ourselves.

  • @BeenFoundTwice
    @BeenFoundTwice 5 месяцев назад +1

    I think her call to focus on what parents with disabilities have, rather than what they lack, is an amazing mindset to have and could be used on pretty much everyone.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Where we focus is where we end up! Focusing on solutions and on strengths gives us tools we can work on to achieve our goals and dreams!

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton 5 месяцев назад +1

      Absolutely, it's a really interesting mindset and makes a lot of sense. Why bother lamenting what you don't have when you can just utilize what _is_ available to you

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад

      This is a good point. If more people could think like this it would be such a positive shift

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • @davidhanson8232
    @davidhanson8232 3 месяца назад +1

    Creative problem solving is a valuable quality for any person to have.

  • @CelestialCentric
    @CelestialCentric 10 месяцев назад +2

    The moment she shared her personal story, my heart went out to her. They've faced unimaginable challenges with grace and strength.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you so much ☺️

    • @evan-bailey
      @evan-bailey 9 месяцев назад +1

      Yes, and they're continuing to find great solutions to everyday problems that shouldn't be an issue.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      @@evan-bailey so true - some of these things should be a given. Being a Barrier-Free Society is what we should thrive forward!

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna 6 месяцев назад

      @@evan-bailey It really speaks volumes about her strength of character

  • @thesugarshackishere
    @thesugarshackishere 4 месяца назад +1

    The emotional journey you described is something many parents can relate to... while problem solving is a huge part of the journey there are lots of other parts to it as well.

  • @novalesterson
    @novalesterson 9 месяцев назад +1

    In the realm of parenting, solutions are the brushstrokes that paint the canvas of progress. A thought-provoking perspective indeed.

  • @verapatrizio
    @verapatrizio 8 месяцев назад +2

    I think it's important to acknowledge that not all solutions work for everyone. Each family's dynamics are unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer.

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes but I think it would be fairly easy to apply Marjories advice to most family situations?

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад +1

      TOTALLY!! 👍

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@iamnotsomagicmikeyes - the process would be the same even if the particular solutions were to be different.

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@MarjorieAunos 😄makes a lot of sense!

  • @MelindaDadamo-kt8ws
    @MelindaDadamo-kt8ws 11 месяцев назад +1

    Marjorie Aunos is an exceptional human being. What an inspirational talk! This woman has a gift and she is changing the world. 💎

  • @nelwashington
    @nelwashington 8 месяцев назад +1

    I'm not entirely convinced that every parenting challenge can be solved solely through creativity and adaptability.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      It doesn’t take away the need to advocate so our common spaces are more inclusive and the need for services and policies that tailor to the needs of parents with disabilities (we know there are gaps). But those take time - and in the mean time I need to do “something”. And sometimes, you are right, when there are no or limited resources, I can’t find a solution in time. That happens and when it does - it is very frustrating!

  • @carstenberns7104
    @carstenberns7104 5 месяцев назад +1

    Your call for inclusivity and understanding in how we perceive parents, especially those with disabilities, is a message worth amplifying. It's about celebrating differences.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      It is exactly that: celebrating differences and seeing how everyone brings value!

  • @ularesser
    @ularesser 3 месяца назад +1

    Sometimes the best way to approach a difficult situation is to just go straight through it. There's no amount of theorizing or researching or learning from others. You just have to feel it out and follow your gut

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 3 месяца назад

      This is what solution finding is. Just finding a way to get through it.

  • @girlontopoftheworld
    @girlontopoftheworld 8 месяцев назад +1

    In my opinion, it's essential to support parents with disabilities while also advocating for broader societal changes that facilitate their parenting journey.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      Totally agree!!! There are many areas in Society that we should work to remove barriers that disabled parents face!

  • @nyokakilemake2178
    @nyokakilemake2178 10 месяцев назад +1

    I never considered the struggles disabled parents face until I watched this. It's essential to recognize the strengths, resilience, and the valuable lessons that can be taught here.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you so much!! We all have our own struggles and capacity to thrive - we just need as a Society to be inclusive to all!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад

      I think it'd be a little strange if you just spent your spare time thinking about disabled peoples struggles, right?

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад

      Good to be aware of it though I guess. Conscientious and all....

  • @moneymaker324
    @moneymaker324 5 месяцев назад +1

    I'm so impressed by the creative solutions you and other disabled parents have found. It's good to know that sometimes the most unconventional approaches bring the greatest success.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      It is sometimes about finding the most workable solution for right now 😊

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад

      yes same! very impressive

  • @user-lc7fg9ec7u
    @user-lc7fg9ec7u 11 месяцев назад +2

    Inspirational TED talk! Society needs communicators like you to make a difference. The reality of parents with disabilities is important to me and I love how you approach the subject.

  • @pascaldegarde6756
    @pascaldegarde6756 11 месяцев назад +1

    Disabled parents exemplify resilience and adaptability. We can all learn valuable lessons from their experiences.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      I agree! And feel we can all learn something from someone else ☺️

  • @dannyordtil
    @dannyordtil 4 месяца назад +1

    The critique of expert advice is thought-provoking. It's true, the vast array of conflicting opinions in the parenting industry can leave us all a bit bewildered. Your emphasis on real-life solutions is refreshing.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Everyone has an opinion on everyone’s parenting and sometimes that makes them believe they are experts. But parenting is complex and so simple at the same time. 😂 Do the best for your children 💕

  • @johnathanbrayton
    @johnathanbrayton 5 месяцев назад +1

    Wow it's talks like these that make me so grateful for TEDx as a platform.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Love TEDx platform too!!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      Same! Such an amazing source of information

  • @geemaleishere
    @geemaleishere 10 месяцев назад +1

    You know what's funny? The billion-dollar parenting industry with its endless books and experts, and yet the most valuable insights are RIGHT HERE! Thank you Majorie!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you so so much !! I have learnt so much for parents with disabilities and from becoming disabled myself!! Some incredible valuable lessons!!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад

      How is that funny? Is this person not also part of the billion-dollar parenting industry?

  • @andididntknow
    @andididntknow 5 месяцев назад +1

    This is so amazing, I feel like her work before becoming disabled put her in such a good position to have a really positive perspective on what disabled parents can achieve.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Both perspectives really help one another and impact both my research and my life!

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton 5 месяцев назад

      This is a great point! Talk about practicing what you preach...

  • @valarchavez
    @valarchavez 9 месяцев назад +1

    Life's a journey, and disabled parents prove that even on rugged paths, determination and a sprinkle of humor can guide us through

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      I couldnt agree more! Having a loving support system also helps a great deal ☺️

  • @gabekilljoy
    @gabekilljoy 6 месяцев назад +1

    I appreciate what she's saying about solutions not problems but sometimes issues are complex and the only way to work through something is to understand it.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      I think there are two steps: what happens / what I can do now AND how can I fix later so that it doesn’t happen again. Both are necessary.

    • @johnathanbrayton
      @johnathanbrayton 5 месяцев назад

      @@MarjorieAunos Absolutely, especially the fixing it so it doesn't happen again part.

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon 5 месяцев назад

      Sometimes you don't have time to go through all of that though.

  • @moanaoloha
    @moanaoloha 5 месяцев назад +1

    Oh wow...Her energy alone is mind blowing, talk about making the best of a terrible situation, and teaching and inspiring along the way. Amazing!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Thank you!!! I am passionate about talking about this 😂 I wish people could see how persons with disabilities can contribute to society and make great parents!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      Absolutely, it shines through in this

    • @moanaoloha
      @moanaoloha 3 месяца назад

      @@MarjorieAunos Well the more people like you out here absolutely proving it the more that will start to happen!

  • @charliechapgould
    @charliechapgould 5 месяцев назад +1

    This is a great example of how the only thing we have control over is our responses to things.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Exactly: we choose how we react and where we want to pay attention!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад +1

      This is an incredible point and something I think a lot of people fail to understand

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад

      Okay that is surprisingly poignant for a youtube comment section

    • @charliechapgould
      @charliechapgould 4 месяца назад

      well, thanks@@thomas-meyer

  • @latarasoff
    @latarasoff 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story - I never tire of hearing it Marjorie - and for all of the important work you do to support parents with disabilities!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Important work we are all doing!!

  • @erintaylor9915
    @erintaylor9915 11 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you, Marjorie, for sharing this powerful message with the world. Sharing your personal story, along with your professional career, helps us all to consider our ableism and internalized ableism. You discuss so many topics that are needed to be had. Disabled parents make good parents; conversations like this help break down the stigma and discrimination of disabled people's parenting-a must-video to share.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you Erin! You hit it about me speaking on Ableism!!

  • @user-qq3dr3dc7q
    @user-qq3dr3dc7q 11 месяцев назад +3

    Fantastic job, Marjorie! A critical perspective for everyone, especially for those working with children and families.

  • @lynnecousins
    @lynnecousins 9 месяцев назад +1

    I really appreciate this talk Marjorie. I feel like disabled parents often carry an extra burden of having to constantly prove themselves. Content like this goes a long way to address the fact that they are completely capable, and shouldn't have to prove themselves to anyone.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      Thank you 🙏

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike 8 месяцев назад +1

      This is a really amazing point... I hadn't been thinking of this talk in terms of disabled people "proving" themselves, but I'd also never thought about how there might be the pressure for them to do that in the first place

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      @@iamnotsomagicmike we know in research there is an over representation of disabled parents in child welfare procedures without any evidence of neglect or abuse. Ableist preconceptions often puts us in a position where we have to prove ourselves. Sadly.

  • @poopietaker
    @poopietaker 7 месяцев назад +1

    Interesting that Majorie's PHD was on Mothers with a disability and then she became disabled. Her focus for years was being a disabled mother and metaphysics asserts that where your focus goes your energy goes.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 7 месяцев назад

      Where your focus goes, your energy goes! 100%

  • @aubreyzwayse
    @aubreyzwayse 5 месяцев назад +1

    I think so much of parenthood is about facing the unexpected and learning to adapt within it to bring about the best possible outcomes. So it makes sense that people who spend so much of their lives doing this anyway can teach us a thing or two!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Parenthood definitely forces us to adapt !

  • @alberteshoeinfine
    @alberteshoeinfine 5 месяцев назад +1

    The struggles you shared are universal in the parenting experience. Your openness adds a valuable layer for all of us I think. Being vulnerable and real about all of it is very difficult either way and you have already taught me alot. thank you

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      Thank you! Sharing or rather lending my voice gives my journey purpose! I want people to know about parents with disabilities!

  • @sophiachandler4662
    @sophiachandler4662 8 месяцев назад +2

    I think it's worth discussing how systemic barriers affect disabled parents' access to resources and opportunities, which can impact solution-oriented thinking.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      Yes!!! So many systemic barriers and attitudinal ones are the hardest to fight. I got too many examples of those… the most common: disabled parents are not capable (cause it looks different).

  • @oakleysienna
    @oakleysienna 6 месяцев назад +1

    This is a reminder of just how many unexpected twists life holds and she has handled this one with such grace.

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 6 месяцев назад +1

      That's very true, you never know what's around the corner.

    • @jordanbaslier
      @jordanbaslier 6 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah it's such a wild story!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Thank you ☺️

    • @cyruslandon
      @cyruslandon 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah this definitely struck me as I was listening to her like wow

  • @franhustard
    @franhustard 11 месяцев назад +1

    I never considered how accessibility affects parenting until now. We need to create inclusive environments for all parents and their children

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Yes!! 100% building inclusive spaces is a must for families!

    • @bestpractice4040
      @bestpractice4040 11 месяцев назад +1

      We need to create inclusive environments for all differently abled people - not just those with children.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      @@bestpractice4040 100%!!

  • @SpeakerSlam
    @SpeakerSlam 11 месяцев назад +3

    We are so proud of you Marjorie!!! What a journey to witness, when's your movie coming out next? ;) - Dan Shaikh

  • @elizahull
    @elizahull 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you!!! You’re such an incredible advocate.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you Eliza! I can say the same about you!

  • @ErinField
    @ErinField 11 месяцев назад +2

    Love this so much!!! Thank you! I'm a quadriplegic that wants kids so I really appreciate this❤

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Awesome!! You can become whomever you want to become!!

  • @lincolnmessier1840
    @lincolnmessier1840 7 месяцев назад +1

    Clearly the take home message is to focus our attention on finding the solution not being fixated on the problem.

  • @alyhdickinson
    @alyhdickinson 8 месяцев назад +1

    This is so inspiring Marjorie, both for people with disabilities and people who are overwhelmed by how many issues they're going to need to navigate when raising little people.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      Yes, being solution focused is helpful for many folks!!

    • @iamnotsomagicmike
      @iamnotsomagicmike 8 месяцев назад +1

      I agree, very good practical advice here.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 8 месяцев назад

      @@iamnotsomagicmike Thank you so much ☺️

  • @veroniquegirodias8370
    @veroniquegirodias8370 11 месяцев назад +1

    Quelle présence, quelle éloquence, quelle vérité! Merci de nous ouvrir les yeux sur comment la différence de l'autre nous enrichit!

  • @hughshotton8920
    @hughshotton8920 5 месяцев назад +1

    Your story reflects a remarkable personal growth journey. It's incredible how becoming a parent can uncover strengths we never knew we had

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 5 месяцев назад

      💯 😊

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад

      Yes! I'm surprised by how much it changed me

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      I know what you mean!! I thought I was already a whole person, then I had kids and woww haha

    • @thomas-meyer
      @thomas-meyer 4 месяца назад

      Yes and at the same time it shines a spotlight on our weaknesses

  • @tammybachrach6733
    @tammybachrach6733 10 месяцев назад +1

    I appreciate Dr. Aunos' perspective on solution driven problem solving and valuing the knowledge that is available through parents themselves.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you so much Dr Bachrach! Coming from you it is an incredible compliment! Your input and unique perspective is always one I am interested in!!

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад +1

      I agree though I do think "solution driven problem solving" is a lot of extra words for nothing

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      @@AlienCruise It is to highlight a different perspective/mindset. Finding what we need to do to make it work.

    • @AlienCruise
      @AlienCruise 9 месяцев назад

      @@MarjorieAunos I just mean, what other kind of problem solving is there?

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@AlienCruise I think she is just trying to emphasize the point?

  • @williammathews1648
    @williammathews1648 6 месяцев назад +1

    It's fascinating to see the shift from a problem-focused mindset to a solution-focused one.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      It is all about following through to our priorities in life ☺️

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson 6 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah I found that really interesting as well!

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 6 месяцев назад +1

      Yes, and it's amazing how much more effective it is

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      I found it less frustrating and so my focus is not sidetracked by my emotions in the moment and I am better equipped to see what could work. And it doesn’t take away from my resolve to make more important and lasting changes afterwards!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад

      It's pretty heartening to hear how much it works

  • @mymotivationsnow
    @mymotivationsnow 10 месяцев назад +1

    I really had no idea until I watched this talk... It's crucial to shift our focus from problems to solutions, just like disabled parents do. This mindset can benefit all parents in finding effective parenting strategies.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Focusing on the solutions help get to where we need to go! It made the whole difference for me as a parent and it helped me focus on what I could do for myself which is so important!!

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 9 месяцев назад +1

      Honeslty I think it could benefit everyone. I've never seen the point in focusing on the problem instead of just getting on with it

    • @DashiellAskin
      @DashiellAskin 9 месяцев назад

      Had no idea about what?

  • @DashiellAskin
    @DashiellAskin 9 месяцев назад +1

    I use to think having a disability and parenting would be like a constant battle but this definitely changed my mind. I am so fascinated with this out of the box thinking style!

    • @elliotnesster
      @elliotnesster 9 месяцев назад +1

      There is a lot of merit to it and Marjorie is a real testament

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      It also blew my mind when I realised that this is what every parent with a disability I met were doing! Because of lack of accessibility- we found ways to make it work for ourselves!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@MarjorieAunos That is really cool!

    • @morgannfields
      @morgannfields 9 месяцев назад +1

      It is really interesting! I've seen a few talks from disabled people that really challenge the standard narrative and it's so cool

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      @@morgannfieldsThank you! And I agree: we should hear more about people with disabilities. It should be favored and encouraged and valued!

  • @colincampbell5068
    @colincampbell5068 7 месяцев назад +1

    I really struggle with out of the box solutions a lot of the time but listening to her, I kinda get it now. I just want my kid to see that no matter what, we will be okay.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 7 месяцев назад

      A solution focused mindset doesn’t prevent us from struggling - it just helps us focus our energy and efforts towards an outcome that fits more our vision of what is important to us!

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson 6 месяцев назад

      This is really lovely and definitely a normal thing to want! I hope they can see that too 💛

    • @tomdashwood9578
      @tomdashwood9578 6 месяцев назад

      I think sometimes you just have to practice a thing until your brain is rewired - don't give up, you got this.

  • @dizzeedean
    @dizzeedean 6 месяцев назад +1

    I thought the stuff about having a solution-focused mindset was great! I can see how it would benefit any household, to not just dwell on a problem but instead to just get to fixing it!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      It can certainly benefit everyone!!! It just makes us focus on what we cherish most and how we can make it happen!

  • @AbelSesmas
    @AbelSesmas 3 месяца назад +1

    Every parent could learn somethin from this person every non-disability person should talk to a disability parent and find out what is their parenting plan and pick their mind because this is great advice for all the parents out there

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 3 месяца назад

      Thank you!!! 😊

    • @AbelSesmas
      @AbelSesmas 3 месяца назад +1

      @@MarjorieAunos you are welcome

  • @thipparatchuri-nagrusk
    @thipparatchuri-nagrusk 6 месяцев назад +1

    This just makes me wonder how we as a society can better support these individuals so they might have a few less challenges from day to day.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Easy: become an ally who notices and shares their observations about the lack of accessibility so that governments or building managers can make it universally accessible!

    • @harrisonstenson8324
      @harrisonstenson8324 5 месяцев назад

      Agreed. If people were able to think beyond solving their own problems this would be a good place to start

  • @michaeljennings9599
    @michaeljennings9599 4 месяца назад +1

    Your point about the most useful solutions coming from parents with disabilities challenges the norm. It's a call to recognize and value the diverse perspectives that contribute to effective parenting.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 4 месяца назад

      Every perspective can give us all lessons about our own parenting!

    • @michaeljennings9599
      @michaeljennings9599 3 месяца назад

      thats true. @@MarjorieAunos

  • @StephanieTorchin-jn6ry
    @StephanieTorchin-jn6ry 11 месяцев назад +1

    What a beautifully articulated and inspirational TED talk ! A must watch for every parent

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you! Representation is important and I hope many spread this message!

  • @High-Pink
    @High-Pink 9 месяцев назад +1

    Wow, this talk was mind-blowing! I never knew disabled parents could be such parenting superheroes! Guess I'll have to stop Googling and start asking them for advice!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 9 месяцев назад

      Everyday parent with creative parenting solutions 😃

  • @tomdashwood9578
    @tomdashwood9578 6 месяцев назад +1

    I think her resilience is so commendable!

  • @IAmZictate
    @IAmZictate 8 месяцев назад +1

    I had never ever thought about this, needed to today now I can really understand someone at work and their struggle.

  • @carljanicek
    @carljanicek 6 месяцев назад +1

    I'm intrigued by the creative solutions you mentioned, like the mom with vision impairment using bells on her kids' sneakers, such creative problem solving!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Yes! Very creative!!! I love speaking to her always as I discover new ways of doing things! Fascinating!

  • @miamay626
    @miamay626 7 месяцев назад +1

    limitations don't define us, it's all about what we can do with what we have. very inspiring!

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 7 месяцев назад

      Thank you ☺️

    • @colincampbell5068
      @colincampbell5068 7 месяцев назад +1

      This is so true, if we let our limitations affect our mindset we'd never be able to move past them

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      Yes, best to make the most of things!

    • @pennyhooker
      @pennyhooker 4 месяца назад

      Things you have, I mean haha

  • @ryandombster1424
    @ryandombster1424 6 месяцев назад +1

    I'm a teacher, and I am actually reevaluating how I can better support parents with disabilities.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 6 месяцев назад

      Wow!!! That is amazing to hear!!!

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna 6 месяцев назад

      This is great but how does your role as a teacher allow for that?

    • @oakleysienna
      @oakleysienna 6 месяцев назад

      I mean surely in terms of what's expected of you, as a teacher, you'd just be fulfilling the same duties?

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson 6 месяцев назад

      @@oakleysienna Maybe they're talking about like, basic accessibility stuff?

    • @raejenson
      @raejenson 6 месяцев назад

      Like for parent-teacher nights or for them coming to watch EC/sports activities?

  • @wealthmakernow
    @wealthmakernow 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you Marjorie! This was such an incredibly wholesome and informative talk! And perspective changing! I know many parents who could take a page from your book and start thinking outside the box.

    • @MarjorieAunos
      @MarjorieAunos 10 месяцев назад

      Thank you ☺️ and the great thing about thinking outside the box is that it can be applied to so many aspects of our lives!!