Sarah Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
I am so grateful for this ministry and pastor johns desire and ability to share God’s heart so clearly. I hope we can begin supporting your efforts and the spread of the Gospel. Thank you! You have answered so many questions in this Q&A’s😊
that means you don't look forward to any success you have made in your life which is ashamed, and your wasting your life concentrating on everything after marriage because marriage isnt a sure thing. but you do you right.
Kamol, I don't think he means he is expecting to be married and putting his hope in that, I think it's more that he understand that nothing should happen sexually before marriage
Kamol Williams U r down so you pull others down with u he is a guy so he has a way better chance at being married than a woman as long as he isn't butt ugly and has a little bit of change in his pocket whenever he is ready he can ask a girl out and propose if u r actually a gentlemen out here and not like the typical dog who only wants to use a woman up and throw her away especially in a wicked time such as this 9 out of 10 women even hoes will jump at it. So can it moron. Things are so bad that now women have started proposing publicly and it is going viral! So keep on trying to convince the average guy of how unsure marriage is for him. Men have the upper hand it is a mans world u must be brain dead. He literally would probably have to resist marriage in order not to ever get married unless he is a complete freak and goes with losers with a fear of commitment like u might have.
Zappelphilipp Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
Great!!! Purity is essential not only for our relationship with God but also for our marriage. Sinfulness is not immunology. You don't stop because you have done once. You are more prone to sin once you have sinned once. So thank you so much Pastor John Piper. May the Lord bless you more and more and increase your knowledge, wisdom, purity and compassion.
Faustin Emadjeu Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 yes but the Bible also says most people aren’t even going to heaven and even fewer are getting crowns. He says “not all will get a crown, run the race as to obtain the crown.” And he says “I wish all of u could be as I am but because of sexual immorality each man should have a wife” it’s ok if you wanna marry but we need Christian to know there other options. I always thought life was about serving god, getting married, having kids, and starting a family. But the Bible has taught me of seeking greater achievements for the kingdom, as Paul did.
@@Bradmhj Look ICU, if you want to remain single andbare one of the few who have no problem with lust, go right ahead, BUT do NOT lord it over those who must marry to contain themselves. Only a few being saved has nothing to do with sex or marriage. Christians are few enough. Don't make the number vanishingly small . Paul is counting Christians in I Cor 7 and is NOT saying there is anything less holy about being married. He was talking about the practical problems of facing a time of persecution with having to worry about a family.
MDH and I kissed before marriage but I always felt convicted about anything that awakened arousal. That was the line for me. For some even kissing would be too tempting. Long engagements are ridiculous though.
I really been trying to stay away from movies and music that promotes sexual stuff. I also have these intrusive thoughts and sexual thoughts. I don't want to think about sexual stuff because I want to please my Father in heaven and I'm really trying to stay on the safe side also I think kissing is okay but it needs to have boundaries. My one advice if you're struggling with sexual sin I highly recommend you stay away from music or movies that are promoting that. The enemy uses everything he can to tempt you. Remember God loves you and Jesus loves you.
Kissing was always something that depended on the situation. Peck on the lips or cheek in during a walk in the crowded park? No problem. Kissing while alone with each other in your house? Probably not a good idea.
I have struggled with pornography for so long. It's like being a drug addict. I know that I will never be able to receive God's blessing of marriage until I can be free.
more likely she will never be enough for you. ..because your altering your bodies emotions and senses. chill out and wean yourself. i struggled too but looking at someone's body and engaging mentally can harm your attraction to your future wife. repent to God, and walk in the grace and mercy today.
+Bruce Courtney its all good, God don't call the qualified but those that turn to him. he understands and you will grow in self control but you have to watch your music intake, conversations, and mindset. in order to live holy, you must make decisions to live healthy and not perverted. I make the same decisions for myself as well.
I don't know from where you have got this image of Jesus.. But it's all about Him changing your life after an encounter with the Father's love for you.. He did that for me brother.. And no one can deny what He has done.. And is still doing through so many lives out there.. Yet alone me
The brother/ sister zone. If your brother or sister should not touch you like that, your boyfriend or girlfriend should not touch you, nor you that person, in that manner! Not too difficult!
buzzbbird very good point, although there is a slight difference between the 2 relationships u mentioned, i know through observation, the physical expression is similar but the attitude is different, if u are in a 'bro/sis' relationship u should treat her like ur favorite biological sis
Yea I agree, kiss, hug, be extremely affectionate but no sex and no touching in private places. I personally don't really feel inclined to touch there anyway
This is the best video on this subject!! I wish all Christians would hear this. My husband and I waited for our first kiss on our wedding day when the pastor said 'you may now kiss your bride'. We knew that Christ wants sexual purity in our lives, for our own good. Your wedding night should not be 'business as usual'. It should be special. If my husband would have even hinted that he wanted sex before marriage I would have dumped him immediately. How would I ever be able to trust him to lead me righteously? We are to motivate each other to become holier as we go thru life. Our marriage is made in heaven because we did it God's way. We notice how different our marriage is than most others in our church.
If you are both happy together it’s important and I wish all the best. But other people’s relationships is not your business even if you’re trying to help.
@@qwertz666 I pay no attention to what others choose to do with their lives. It's none of my business. My business is doing what my father expects of me. His will, not mine. But don't pretend you have a relationship with God and are fornicating.
hello pastor John what would you say to Christians who lost their virginity due to ignorance and now feels devastated and don't know what to look forward to in life.
sumanta sha Repent of it and move on. Ask for God's healing if there are wounds, but don't listen to religious people who say there is no coming back from it or continue to put shame on you. God removes are sin as soon as we are sorry. In His eyes, you are as pure as a baby. Not that He didn't still love you before repentance. Remember the two men Jesus was beside on the cross, they both had done wrong, one repented, one didn't. But Jesus died for both. Just accept that kind of live.
Why in a country with separation of church and state do pastors have to have licences from a state to perform a marriage. I know this is a legal question, but it is about the second highest covenant with God, what right does the government have to be involved, when they clearly do not have that right.
piper handles this Q&A well. but if you want the expert's advice on this topic, read this: Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control ~Elisabeth Elliot
I watch a lot of videos about purity out of morbid curiosity but the part about being able to be whole and happy without being sexually active... I’m asexual and hearing that from somebody outside of the asexual community meant a lot to me
Asexuality is very Biblical! The Apostle Paul (in case you didn't know, he was like one of the first pastors; much of the new testament is his writings to the early churches) states that he wishes more people could lead a single life like himself. That way more energy can be put into your work for God. While not many of us can do that without being derailed by our desires, true singleness can a blessing to be celebrated!
Eddie Pollau: Often we people believe we "are" a certain way, only because we have (always) been, although it is a matter of health state and issues really.Strong stress in childhood f ex can make a woman not develop her secondaruý sexual traits/organs to the very feminine levels, and she may think she "is" that way, although it would change as soon as she gets help with the stress. Underweight too. Have you considered getting checked and maybe treated by a good Naturopath or Traditional Chinese Doctor? In stockholm f ex, there is a fine TCM dr(male) who specialises in infertility, and I am sure he could also treat asexuality. Have you ever explored the reason(s) for yours? Too many ppl just settle down , wrongly deciding there is nothing that can be done about sth, and are too enduring and not knowing, and not getting guidance and support by others. Not wanting to stress you or anything, just caring and wanting you to know that blockages, deficiencies, traits and weaknesses can be helped (more than Healthcare tells and knows) so that someone can feel all their humanness and experience such a basic thing as sexual energy. Wishing the best for you, from an involuntary C-PTSD celibate having got too little support an d encouragement for sexuality.. All the best..
He ignored every Bible verse on concubines which definitely has something to say about this. When did it become popular to shrug off the Old Testament law?
1 Corinthians 7:2 clears this question up. 1 Corinthians 7:2 NEVERTHELESS TO AVOID FORNICATION. LET EVERY MAN HAVE HIS OWN WIFE. & LET EVERY WOMAN HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND. Amen.
Keep in mind that John Piper married at age 22 right out of college. He did not wait as he is telling everyone here. He did not wait until 30 or 40 and have to struggle with a lust he had no outlet for for another 20 years. He did not wait until he had his lust fully conquered as is being recommended. He married as soon as possibe and let his wife help conquer his lust as Paul tells us in I Cor 7:1-9.
@@Juan_Duran Juan, SO.... Why do you think pointlessly and hopelessly fighting lust as a single instead of getting married and enjoying sex with a wife as God intended you should , is godly and obedient??? Is that restraint leading to godly thoughts? A LITTLE restraint is a virtue, but you have been restraining yourself for 16 years now, over half your life. That is NOT a little restraint. That is torture. How is that working for you? Why don't you marry and take the only Biblical cure for lust - lots of marital sex? Where has God forbidden you to marry? Where has he told you to wait 16 years after puberty to marry?? The guy telling you these lies did not wait 16 years. He is laying burdens on your shoulders he never even tried to carry.
@@Juan_Duran Jaun, now that you have finished writing nonsense, go back and read my last response again with your mind open this time. 1) I know the parable of the vineyard very well. We just covered it in my daily Bible Study with my fiancee. That story has absolutely nothing to do with God finding you a wife. What it really means is that God chooses to give exactly the same gift of eternal life to every person who actively chooses on their own to believe on Jesus and endure in that Faith to the end of their day no matter how early or late in their life they begin believing. It says nothing about God being required to find you a wife. 2). If you expect someone to read a passage it is courteous to tell them what YOU think it means not make them guess. You just look stupid when the passage is not connected to the discussion at hand. You look very stupid. Care to try again? 3). I asked you to cite even one Bible verse where God promises to find your spouse for you and you gave me zilch and were rude enough not to admit you could not do it. 4) please quit listening to satanic liars like John Piper, for your own sake.
@@Juan_Duran My, you are a very stupid little sensitive girl. I did not misspell your name. I mis typed but you are so shallow you wither at imagined insults, baby. I am 66 years old, so not your son. LOL, you come onto a RUclips comments section to joust about religion and when you get outclassed you suddenly think that the forum you chose is inappropriate. What a silly little girl! Clearly once you were shown to be dead wrong you did not want to play anymore. You are a coward and a stupid Coward. I did not speak of idolizing pastors, but clearly you do and they are ones leading you straight to Hell and a lifetime alone. By the way Washer also married young but He at least WOULD tell you that you have to actively search for a wife and as soon as possible. I have heard him say it, little fool. It is too bad that Washer teacher=s the false gospel of Calvinism that will take him to Hell. He has worked very hard to preach to those that he believes have no choice whether they believe or not. It is pure insaity and a shame but he is Hellbound.
@@Juan_Duran First, you are a particularly nasty and rude piece of crap. I can see again why no woman would want you. You are too feminine to be direct, so you are sarcastic and passive agressive like the sissy little girl your hero pastors have made you. Secondly, you have yet to answer my original question as to where in the Bible and not out of your idolized false teachers mouths you find that it is God's job to find you a wife. More to the point why on earth should God entrust a wife to a slimy little wretch like you? If you refuse to answer questions or admit when you are shown to be completely wrong, you have no right to ask questions. Take a hike. Nonetheless, I suggest you quit listening to any pastors at all. You have demonstrated amply that you cannot tell truth from error. If you can understand what you read,which I doubt, I recommend that for once in your life you pick up a Bible with an open mind and no one whispering in your ear about what it means. Just read it fully in context and not as soundbites like liars like Piper do. Start with Matthew and John and then move on to Galatians and I Corinthians. Keep an open mind, knowing that you have been lied to in the past. I seriously doubt you have the brain cells to do this. but it is the only chance you have to escape damnation.
@@Juan_Duran LOL, you whiny little baby girl! 1) Jaun the Jaw, John Piper is NOT a Christian. He was a Calvinist (also not Christian) and then he invented his own religion called Christian Hedonism. That is what he is preaching. Look it up. You should have done that before you stuck your head up his backside 2 months ago. 2) It was Jesus, not me, that complained about Pharisee liars like John Piper inventing their own rules and laying phoney burdens on people's shoulders they never bore. Read all of Matthew 23, little twerp. It is Jesus you have your beef with. It is Jesus you are spitting on, not me. 3) Where exactly does the Bible say that I am to follow the lies of a false teacher just because he said so?? I am dying to hear that one liar. 4) The question I have repeatedly asked you is where in the Bible does it say as you and lying Johnny Piper, the Hedonist, say that God will find you a wife little loser?? You respond with a parable you clearly do not understand. You are NOT following Jesus so you have no reward at all. The parable of the vineyard did not answer the question. 5) Little baby, i didn't spit in your face. I just proved that you were deluded and wrong. You have zero authority over me so I cannot bedefying your authority little twerp.. I don't have to do what you insist. Grow up or you will never get a wife which is what I was originally trying to help you with. You have free will (which Piper and Washer both wrongly say you don't) so stick your head up liars backsides if you want to. 6) You are obviously projecting. You are the damaged loser without a woman in your life. LOL I tried to help you and you struck out like a wounded teddy bear. No claws. I guess no good deed goes unpunished LOL. 7) So finally you admit that you and Piper just made up the bit about God finding you a wife - which is exactly what you said you were waiting for in your first post, liar. "However after reading Job, proverbs and ecclesiastes. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter, that he is in control and that with his help i can tough it out. " Oh really, did you decide that while your head was up Piper's backside?? What if you are not supposed to "tough out" not being married, fool?? Two of those books you say you got that wisdom from were written by a man that had 1000 wives. I am sure Solomon told you not to worry about getting married so rich people could have sex with the women you want. Talk about putting burdens on people's shoulders you don't bear!!! What an idiot you are. 8) "You read only with your eyes and not your soul. " Yes. i do, because that is the only sane and proper way to read. When you "read with your soul" you are inventing things the author never wrote or meant. It is called Eisegesis and it is a great error. What a schmuck you are! 9) God curse you and all like you or rather you have cursed yourself. I have watched Paul Washer's series on courtship long ago and some of his advice has merit although he has only useful advice for teens. He writes everyone else off as lost. Unfortunately Washer is a Calvinist and NOT a Christian and is going to Hell despite all his hard work BECAUSE he preaches a false gospel that says God chose who to save and who to damn before the foundation of the world. According tp Washer and Piper, and Calvin you you were damned before birth and never had a chance. This is blasphemous nonsense and says that you can decide nothing by yourself and God programmed you from birth and that God therefore is the author of sin. Enjoy Hell. God according to Washer has already decided you are going there after He tortures you with sexual denial a bit more. If you want to live, instead. come with me.
Aniko Mind you could say that, but observing what Paul wrote may teach otherwise: “Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.” 1 Tim 5:2
Well is marriage the ceremony and legal route, or the lifetime commitment you two personally make? Can two people be fully committed to eachother and not be married in Gods eyes until it’s legal?
The Bible acknowledges multiple types of marriage. But if the case of Solomon is an example, what is marriage depends on the local tradition. So if you're peers would consider you married, I'm inclined to say yes. But if that were the case, then it would likely be considered a common law marriage. But if this is some "married in our hearts" type thing probably not. But either way I don't think it matters, the Bible never actually requires that people be married to have sex. Adam and Eve were never described as married in the Bible, so I really don't think it matters so long as all parties know what they're doing.
Sadly many are fornicating long before the development of a relation or even marriage. Women believes that how can you know if you both are sexually compadible? No one saves themselves any more and virgibity is made fun of. Many would be laughing at this, just look at "Two and a half men" and many movies too.
Story about Free milk and a cow, No touchy No feely, till a wedding vow. Don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself . Haha, Yeah, and without the touchy-feely 🤗 and smooches 💋the players will not stay around 👋🏽. 👍🏽🙏🏽 👍🏽
I am sorry but I think that you are not following the Bible. In an engagement with a woman you are allowed and it is healthy to kiss and hug or hold her hand. Nothing more. The problem arrises if you go further. And men who are showing affection are not all ,,players" as you say. I come from a family where we constantly hug and kiss each other and I love to show affection to family and close friends and I intend to do this also with my girlfriend. That doesn't mean that I am a player but it is a precursor of how my future marriage will look and establishing the rules from the engagement period. For me personally would be a big red flag if a woman will refuse any kind of manifestation of affection during the engagement as i might end marring a cold, unaffectionate person or someone who has some emotional problems underneath.
Iosif-Alexandru Lascus No touchy-feely UNTIL A WEDDING VOW, after a wedding vow yeah hugs and holding hands is fine but kissing I guess it depends on how much self control you have. I don’t think women want to walk down the Isle in church already pregnant, like I did, was one month pregnant. I couldn’t even have a drink like every one else to celebrate. Sooo if you start 💋💋💋 don’t loose control. That one thing sure does lead to another. And you can tell if a woman is cold by the look in her eyes and her actions.
r2 If a man wants to feel a woman all up before wedding day, he’s NOT A GOOD MAN. He won’t stop at just feeling her all up he’s going to want MORE, “ more, more, more.
The Bible never condemns contact before marriage. I kissed my girlfriend and never was tempted to sleep with her. Anything that doesn't involve sexual arousal or nakedness is fine
This is idealist and I am abstinent but I keep in mind that even with all the will power in the world and belief in God if you end up succumbing to premarital relations it can at times be blamed on the state interference and pervasive immorality in the dating scene but it is worth a shot just as long as u try and do your best and wait for someone that u can see yourself with forever and they feel the same that is what counts. Waiting till Marriage is best but engaged is second best and a serious relationship that eventually leads to it or is like a marriage is third.
what's missing from your formula is the concept of absolute morality. which the basis is this: there is a standard, an extremely high standard, not yours nor the culture's. it is from HaShem. and anything outside of that boundary is prohibited. what is the boundary? sexual activity (in any form, no matter how great or small) is permitted exclusively only within the marriage relationship, between husband (male), and wife (female), until death. some say sexual desire is 'natural'. OK, i'll have to say i agree with that. but human beings have the capability of suppressing certain desires. this isn't a bad thing. so take it or leave it. it's up to you to make your own decisions. live your best life, and i'll do the same with mine. in the end, i won't be the judge of you, nor will you be of me. but there will come a time of judgment.
@@vegetablehead "what's missing from your formula is the concept of absolute morality." To the contrary, I think that it's a matter of absolute morality that it's wrong to punish people for normal and healthy desires and activities. "there is a standard, an extremely high standard, not yours nor the culture's." I most often hear this comment from people who are about tell me their personal and cultural opinion about what they think the standard is. "sexual activity (in any form, no matter how great or small) is permitted exclusively only within the marriage relationship" Okay, says who? "but human beings have the capability of suppressing certain desires. this isn't a bad thing." Inflicting mental anguish onto people for inevitable and uncontrollable feelings for no reason is evil. It is an expression of active harm. "so take it or leave it. it's up to you to make your own decisions. live your best life, and i'll do the same with mine. in the end, i won't be the judge of you, nor will you be of me. but there will come a time of judgment." I do hate a hanging implication. I would appreciate it if you were open about what you meant. What you mean is that you think that God agrees with you, and that's fine, but vague threats is another example of the psychological abuse that I'm talking about.
@@NOAHJOSHUA35 yea I want also to marry but God showed me I want to do it mostly for pleasure, did not know before what was the real meaning of it and its not easy to build a healthy marriage. Now that is me I dont know about you but God showed me Im not ready yet even though I want it. God bless you!
Instead of thinking about how far you can go before marriage, make a plan to court as friends and limit hugging real close that leads to stirring the hormones. There will be plenty of time for physical touch after you get married.
Taking everything in this video and in the comments right, am I to assume that we are to fall in love with someone without any intimacy and or hint to the compatibility we may or may not have. Doesn't this promote a divorce so to speak if the couple after marriage realize they wasted their time cause they don't fit with each other. How would you even be able to love someone if you cant show it before marriage, in that if we aren't able to touch each other intimately do you really think after marriage its gonna change just like that. I believe in this whole concept(sex before marriage) to an extent because its conflicting to think god would make us should sexual beings and then torture us by setting rules/laws which restrict us from being intimate with a person until we end up bounded to spending the rest of our lives with, without knowing if we can be intimate with them.
That's an interesting question you have Kamol. If you allow me I have one piece of advice for you: bring it to the Lord in prayer. Ask the Lord to show you and reveal to you his divine will and truth for your life and your relationship. We may disagree amongst us, but it should not be to prove a point, let's not forget that the Lord is working in each and everyone of our lives to draw us closure to him, if you feel challenged in this area, this may be something the Lord is trying to change/teach/bring wisdom in. It's normal for us to struggle between culture and the truth of God, since we have to unlearn the things that are not according to his will but ultimately God is the spirit of truth, the one and only truth in this matter. So draw close to him and ask him to make things clear for you, that you would live according to his will and truth, and to let your heart be molded by his LOVING hand.
If you’d consider divorcing someone cause the sex isn’t good then you don’t actually love them. That’s exactly what the religious leaders in Jesus’ day were doing and He called them out on it.
Karol, If your walk with God is what it’s supposed to be then He will put the right person in your path and you’ll know she is the one. Praying about it and following the real walk with God is a lot of your answer to this. Your thinking doesn’t matter on how you think you should approach this topic it’s all about what God’s word is saying you should do. God can bless you in many ways if you stay true to Him. God bless🙏🏻✝️🙏🏻
Considering foreplay is the prelude to sex and dating is in theory a prelude to marriage could it not be argued that this means it is not only appropriate but wanted to have that foreplay within the prelude to marriage? So long as you were two disciplined Christians who understood going in that's as far as you would go until they day comes that you can go farther? He says its frustrating to make yourself stop and not go all the way....but I think the foreplay has intrinsic worth enough to stand on its own. And this would allow dating Christians a means of getting to know some of each other likes and wants earlier on so they are not surprised after marriage when they are expecting to be pleased anyway they want only to discover their partner they are now committed to for life isn't willing to do much at all.
My friend thought it wouldn't be too wrong to make out as long as her underwear stayed on and in place. That being said,m the Bible opposes premarital touching.
DONUTCARE I think (and this is my opinion only) that it is something that you have to decide before you get into a relationship. I have also been investigating this question and it seems like the best answers I have got have said that making out will lead to the arousal on sexual desires, which for some people are hard to control. So then it would be best to keep it minimal. I also want to look at my motives for wanting to be kissed. I think it's partly due to the fact that I see it everywhere advertised as something you should do. But also, I found that for me I was purely being selfish. I want to be kissed and feel the emotion and close to that person, but I hadn't considered my partner's well being at all.
@@mariahwisdom-peters6919 I like your perspective and comment. Very balanced. I have recently been in this position. I started the kiss while gauging if it was being reciprocated. We had slept next to each other and it was early in the morning and I rolled over and cuddled her so the kissing followed. All actions were reciprocated. Control of sexual passion is not a weak point for us, and sexual intercourse does not immediately follow being affectionate. Arousal does definitely occur but we can keep a lid on it. Fornication is a VERY big deal
"How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage?" Kind Sir...IF any one has sex when not married; they have "Fornicated"; which is a sin. Also, any one that has sex when married; with another person, is an "Adulterer"; which is a sin. And each sin any one makes; regardless of the sin; WILL be punished 7 fold by Jesus; who IS God Almighty. And if the sin is "flaunted"; Jesus increases the punishment 10 X 7! Believe it or not. The bible has shown that. Believe it or not. So world; who keeps on sex sinning; WILL be punished with NO exceptions. And so wonder WHY people, and the world, has such horrible pain experiences in their lives. Oh yes. And Jesus' wrath has NO limits. For He has, and still makes the punishments unbearable; in many instances. Believe it or not. Yes Jesus is a quintessential loving God... But he is ALSO the quintessential Punish-er also, at the SAME time. Thus He is the perfect Judge there will ever be. Praise His Holy Name. NOTHING escapes him. So beware! "Good deeds" brings blessings untold. But "Bad deeds" brings pain that is often a "hell on earth". So keep it up "sex sinners". It is your choice. For Yes: "hell on earth". No: a much more "peaceful, joyful and happy" life. Believe it or not... ...In any case kind Sir and Brethren, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!
This questionable habit of inferring from scripture unexplicated proscriptions serves only to fetishize sexuality and conflate it with sin. Confinement of sexual activity to marriage is an ideal, a gesture of perfection which has never been achieved across any human society, Christian or otherwise. It is a state of grace we should aspire in our youth to attain someday in marriage. Meanwhile, we accept that we are all sinners, that only Jesus is without sin, and that with repentance we may be forgiven.
your 'aspiration' imhu is nothing but cheap grace. 80% of the christian population in america are what are called a 'cultural' or 'carnal' christian. your statement that 'perfection' has never been achieved is only the symptom of an individual who has never fully committed daily crucifixion with jesus. but i guess it is natural for us to makes excuses for our ungodly behaviors. i propose we think more highly of the power that the spirit gives us in making better decisions. but naturally, if one is not being led in the spirit, moral failings are guaranteed to follow. in conclusion, if we are to suppose the scriptures as 'unexplicated proscriptions', and that our only aspiration is to achieve a state of grace, then let's edit out a few verses to make it easier for us: i propose we start with this one: "29-30 “Let’s not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here’s what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump."
Sex is good only in marriage.but if your husband or wife is having sex with someone else outside of being married,should you continue to have sex with them.
I think that it's okay to live together, sleep together, cuddle, kiss, everything except have sex. If you are unable to control yourself and sex is a weak point for the pair of you then keep separate rooms and don't kiss. No sex = no sin. However it is better to marry than burn. Update: I read another person's comment about 'touching' in the private area. That hadn't even occurred to me. Maybe I'm a bit unusual 😅 I reckon don't do that either.
I don't want to be a smart alec but whenever people talk about singleness and how Jesus was single his whole life, never got married... yeah, and he is the sinless son of God.... soooo, yeah :/ *shrugs*
Isabelle M Jesus came into this world to save everyone from sin and death. I'm just a human man 2000 years later. That's not my purpose, so comparing my singleness to Jesus' and then saying "be cool with it" is just giving me the finger and telling me not to complain that I got the finger. Jesus was single, I am single. He didn't marry or have sexual relations, but I want to. I am disappointed that I am single but I know that I won't find 100% happiness in the other person. That doesn't make me any less upset about my singleness...
Jacob Carpenter " Marriage proving disastrous , we then need practice lifelong abstinence" That is absolutely NOT what the BIBLE says !! Never does God impose such a yoke upon us . He never did that and never will. Imposing that would be too hard a yoke for us all. Saying that people should not have sex is a doctrine of demons . Lifelong abstinence , ie ascetism is not of God. The Bible never preaches ascetism at all. It tells the young man not to mess with whores or adulterous wives but it gives him a compensation : it tells him to go to his wife and rejoice always in her. (Proverbs 5 v12). Those preachers who preach ascetism for the others and are themselves married ... How disgusting and revolting ! What does 'anger' and 'want of sex' have to do in common ? Sex is a perfect natural desire and need of the body. The Bible does not make all a fuss about it as those 'preachers' do . That's the way God made us all. It's like hunger or thirst . Sex in the Bible is portrayed like an appetite or a thirst in Proverbs. So ? What does 'anger' got to do with natural sexual desire ? Why do you think those self riighteous preachers and their obsession with "lust" (not to be found in the Bible by the way) are married themselves ? Why don't they struggle with "lifelong abstinence " themselves ? So disgusting really. Taming the lust dragon .. lol How insane to try to tame something that is natural and that regularly comes back in us ! Why not trying ot tame thirst or hunger ? We have to tame what is evil Inside of us NOT the way we have been made ! It is insane . Sex is not evil !!! Sex is a powerful energy , a gift given to mankind. You want all Christians to be single ? no more Christian families ? no more pregnancies ? no more births ? What kind of garbage is that ? Serioulsy , what do Christians have against sex ? I can see nothing as such in the Bible. If every man could abstain as you say , then we women would just have to go and find a man in the world .. Thank God that not every man cannot abstain !! What would be the use of the creation of the woman then ? Does not Romans 1 call that the "natural use of the woman "? It is no sin !!! The sin is where men quit the natural use of the woman and turn to other sexual outlets. I like the biblical language but that ascetic language scares me. If men could naturally abstain the way God made them , then Jesus would not have said that some became EUNUCHS for the kingdom of God. They became eunuchs , which means that naturally a man cannot abstain from sex. That's the way GOD made humanity. Ascetism is the most dangerous path that leads to temptations and fall. I love how all the "preachers" who wrote the books you mentioned are all married ! Seems like their methods don't work for them ... You can fast for a time but you cannot fast for ever. Because hunger is natural. God himself in the OT commanded his sons to abstain from their wives for a short period . Not for ever ! Ascetism is NOT of God but of Satan.
@@framboise595 So I read through your comment, quite an interesting argument. However here's the thing. Marriage is a blessing created by God, for a purpose. 1. To illustrate the union btw God and man (asper Christ and the Church) 2. So "man wouldn't be alone" asper companionship 3. Procreation asper reproduction of (note this) GODLY men and women 4. Last but not the least: pleasure and enjoyment asper sex. The above in order if importance... So you see it has a purpose, but if a person doesn't know that purpose or understand the important purpose of marriage and just jumps in it, what is the point??? Paul says "It is better to be unmarried" asper if a person can do without needing the above listed, because note: in Christ all the above are fulfilled 1. We are already in Union with Christ (glooory) 2. We have companionship with God. We are friends of God, scripture calls us even more: His Children!!! Jesus before his death said "All of you (referring to His disciples) would leave me alone, but I am never alone, the Father is with me". So now we are like Christ, God is always with us. 3. The mandate is to bring more sons and daughters into the kingdom via evangelism 4. Hehe what is pleasure asides knowing God and pleasing Him. Marriage is good and important, but you must know the significance before going in or else the devil would give you reasons to go in and you would either wreck it or live a purposeless union before God. So yeah you either go in determined to accomplish its purpose, or yo! Stay single but always in Union to Christ Heck there's no "marriage" in heaven tho 😂😂😂
If a woman and man don't kiss and/or touch each other? How can they say they are in a relationship? They're just friends. It's very awkward to go from friends to marriage. Plus waiting for marriage to have sex will tempt couples to get married too soon. Then the divorce rates could possibly increase. But then if Christians aren't allowed to divorce, it's possible the couple will live unhappily ever after.
B-boy StuntZ I personally think that the relationship should be built on more than just attraction. Obviously that is there but you.have all the time in the world to have fun with that during marriage. I think instead of focusing on the fact that you can't kiss and that. Focus on really falling in love with the person regardless. I think also you need to discuss a lot of things as the relationship goes on, as if you do get married you need to be in unity. I don't mean the same but kinda like a team with one goal.
this makes the most sense to me, like seriously i cant think of falling in love with someone i have no form of intimacy or connection with, and how am i gonna do that from looking at them alone and talking, what happens when we are married and to actually touch and realize we dont fit or work out it feels awkward IT PROMOTES DIVORCE.
B-boy StuntZ I was with a guy for 2 years without sex, I am gonna call bullshit on that one. Just come out say it you want to have sex because you desire it and want to get closer to a boyfriend or girlfriend even if it won't last but stop sugarcoating shit!!!!
Kamol Williams Most couples who are having sex don't even end up married you fucking twat so abstaining from premarital sex does not promote divorce u horny freak it actually just means that you are way more likely to end up married in the first place if you and the person r on the same page. It sounds like to me that you think all there is to a real relationship is sex and obviously you have never been married never engaged never cohabitated never been a father so what the fuck do u know about a serious relationship? I bet u haven't even been in a relationship that was meaningful long-term relationship that lasted over a year straight with no breaks. Get out of here man. U can't be taken seriously.
It is never said in the bible that having sex before being married by law is bad but: "nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." What I understand from this is this: each human being is way too corrupt and lacks the ability to control his/her sexual urges. Therefor, let marriage be a solid foundation for you to start having sex because your relationship is bound by law, the church and most importantly by God. If you are not married, this somehow gives us grounds to start having sex with everyone we think is worthy enough, and who knows how many that is. Do not trust in your strength too much, for it will fail you. Trust in God and what God says.
mmmm, trust me,I've never heard a woman say she wishes she'd had sex with more guys before she got married. Or never heard guys saying"I wish my wife hooked up with more dudes before we married. "
Wrong. On so many levels. If you even look at a person with lust in your heart you've committed adultery with that person. Sex outside of consecrated marriage is prohibited by God's law. "for this reason a man will leave father and mother and cleave to his wife. And the two shall become ONE flesh", hence why Jesus says, "what God joins, let no man separate." Too many scriptures to refute this BUT... I don't get the impression you've studied the scriptures thoroughly and I am not sure, based upon what you've written, that you are born again, or at the very most, if you are, not mature in your knowledge and understanding of the grace of God. " each human being is way too corrupt and lacks the ability to control his/her sexual urges." Wrong. 1 Corinthians 7 refutes this, Romans 6-8, Galatians 5 and the list goes on, all refute this. This is the way a lost person approaches the lusts of the flesh. The saved person walks according to the spirit, setting their minds on the things of the spirit; those that do so, putting to death the deeds of the flesh by the Spirit, will live. I am not wishing to bash on you, but just to lovingly direct you to the truth of the gospel. May God's grace be on you
Sex is covenant. Having sex is how you enter in to a marriage covenant. There really is no such thing as pre marriage sex. If you lay with someone you created a one flesh covenant. Marriage license is not biblical and has nothing to do with marriage
@@ryanehlis426 Only person I wanna marry is my partner so you can keep your sick opinions to yourself. And I forgot. 4 times married because I was molested as a child.
"Fornication" is actually quite a loose translation for the Greek word "porneia". It actually means "prostitution". What Paul tells the Corinthians is not to visit brothels or prostitute themselves or sexual practices that were common at that time in Greece, like having a catamite or something like that. I actually see it like this: Marriage rites have changed over years, the world has changed. It's not so easy to marry early nowadays in some countries because first both partners have to finish an education, get a job to earn money to pay for a house or an apartment. If you study at a university it can take a long time until you're ready for family, maybe you're already 30 and it's nearly impossible to abstain for all this time. It surely was easier in the old times. Also, I find it amusing, many people are so eager to take all the books of the Bible literally with the exception of one book: the Song of Songs. If you take that one literally it's a highly erotic piece of literature and it certainly does not describe the relationship of a married couple, but simply of two lovers.
Well, Paul wrote to Timohy that in the latter times being Christian would be much more difficult. However it would be possible. You said "maybe you're already 30 and it's nearly impossible to abstain for all this time". Jesus lived 33 1/2 years on earth, yet He never even thought ONE lustful thought in His entire life. Joseph, being a young man with strong sexual desires, was tempted to have sex with Potiphar's wife, and he could have done it. Yet he resisted because he had the fear of the Lord (Gen 39). Most young "Christian" men in our day would fall in a much lesser temptation today. God's purpose for sex is to be for a married couple. It is fully possible to abstain from sexual relatinship your entire life in the 21st century, for it is written in Jude 24: "Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy". Jesus can keep us from falling.
Alex What about a couple that has sex before marriage, but still marries later? It can happen, e.g. if they still cannot afford to move out of their parent's house. I wouldn't call that a sin. Adultery is a sin. The marriage bond also doesn't protect anything, as I was once told in church. Divorce can still happen. I think, the important thing is to stay with that person you decided to become one with. Marriage traditions and things like that, they have changed over time. Where I live, you even have to marry twice: before the state, and then before the church. Which ceremony is the one that counts? If I chose not to marry in a church, but only before the state, does that count? It's really complicated. Did you know, there were times when you didn't even need to have a witness in a marriage ceremony? There was a ritual called the "dextrarum iunctio", you simply grasped the right hand of your partner and that was it. God was thought to be the only witness needed. But that system didn't work out, because some men simply left their women, the women couldn't proof their marriage and so on. What happened here is again: adultery. That's the real sin and not pre-marital sex.
kadda1212 And how do you know whether or not you are going to marry the person, having already had sex? You never know until you have married. Besides, pre-marital sex is like using a person's body to satisfy your bodily lusts without having bound yourself to that person and without having the responsibilities of a married person. Marriage is what brings a man and a woman together in a covenant and binds them together. Pre-marital sex is just a sign of lack of self-control and spiritual immaturity, where they can't control their passions and lusts, and therefore have to satisfy themselves. Throughout Scripture we see that God's only purpose with sex is inside marriage, not outside - to be used as a gift of God only for His purpose to His glory. God is glorified inside marriage, not outside of it. Even in the world we see that there are so many problems arising in sexual relationships outside of marriage. It gives a sense of guilt and shame, and is disastrous. Even worldly people have known this for centuries. As to divorce, of course it can happen. Yet God hates it. How many women have not thought they have got into a serious relationship and had sex, and been turned down? In fact, if it is as you say that marriage bond doesn't protect anything, then why would people marry at all? Why not then have sex with different people whom we think we are going to marry, one after the other? As long as you are not bound to a person with God's marrital covenant, you do not belong to him or her, and therefore have nothing to do with his/her body.
kadda1212 Btw, isn't it written: "It is good for a man not to (sexually) touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband (1 Cor 7)". He is not here speaking of a man having sex with another man's wife, but of unmarried people abstaining from sexual immorality by marrying, and thus fulfilling their sexual desires. Otherwise he could have allowed a man to have sex without having to have "his own wife". Look at those people in the world who can't wait till they get married before they have sex. Sexually transmitted diseases, shame, problems, etc etc. Or why do you think it is so difficult for people to have sex with their boy-/girlfriend, while not with husband/wife? God has placed something within people to make it difficult for them to have sex outside of marriage and thus ruin their lives. Marriage is not in sex, sex is in marriage.
It is well established fact, that humans have been around for a lot longer than the bible has, and that marriage is a man-made concept. in fact Christianity was pretty much last in line to accept marriage as part of their belief system. there is much history on this. so what i don't understand is this sudden belief that "sex is only for marriage" well how did people have sex, and procreate before marriage and the bible were invented? marriage is simply an option to have your sexual relationship legally recognized for the purposes of property rights. it's a choice, but hasn't always been one. humans had sex, and raised children just fine for years. why would a god punish people for procreating and bonding. if a god actually made us, than he made us sexual beings for a reason. it is a also a fact that fetuses masturbate to the point of orgasm, inside the womb. it is unnatural to turn sexual instincts aside, until a ring is exchanged, and a stranger gives you permission to kiss your wife/husband. i don't understand why so many people deny themselves the ability to love fully....also it is proven that the longer a person waits before having sex, the more likely they are to have sexual dysfunction and impotence. it's a case of "use it or lose it." literally.
NymphetaminexXxGrrrl whoa there, established on what, something man-made? in Gen 2, it plainly shows it was Gods idea not Adams, God intends for marriage to be a lifelong covenant between a man & a woman, thats what marriage really is
wgme86 see the problem here is that you are getting your "facts" from the bible..i am getting my facts from actual history. and no god did not intend marriage to be "one man one woman" the biblical definition of marriage includes a whole lot of immoral activities. in the bible all a man has to do is burn down the neighboring village, murder a few families, steal their virgin children, rape the children, and than say "we are now married before god" also polygamy was the norm. some men in the bible had hundreds of wives, including numerous prostitutes, children, rape victims, slaves...there is absolutely nothing sacred whatsoever, about the biblical definition of marriage. the definition of marriage has already changed over time, and that is a very good thing! all the bible promotes is incest, rape, child-molestation, and slavery. that is all the bible bases marriage on, how many people you can rape. for the bible says anyone who has been raped, must marry their rapist. trust me there is a large colorful history on marriage that pre-dates the bible. but if you only accept the biblical version than violence and force is all you will get...
+NymphetaminexXxGrrrl You say very ignorant things woman. I read your comments and I tried to think of a comback but I relies how hard it is to argue agents stupidity. it's very hard.
Eugene Nunn How is it ignorant to quote the bible? i have a 10 pound bible on my table as we speak. It has been passed down in my family for generations, and includes the Old Testament, The New Testament, Some of the lost gospels, and other Christian literature. I have made nothing up, everything i say is written in the christian bible. Are you denying that the bible promotes polygamy? or that men may marry underage non-consenting children? there have been incestuous stories, of daughters seducing their father to take his seed. and it plainly says that women and children are the "spoils of war" and that it is acceptable to rape the children of the families you murder...but once you rape them, you must marry them. I am being honest this is what the bible sanctions as biblical marriage. I am reading this straight from the book of your god. also people have existed for far longer than the bible has...even Christians don't dispute that as it is fact. So obviously people had sex before the bible was written. Unless you intend to say that people learned to read and write, before they learned to procreate...which is completely impossible. I'm sorry if the truth offends you, i am simply stating historical facts, along with biblical morals. That is the truth.
+NymphetaminexXxGrrrl please quote the scriptures you claim show that the bible allows for man to do all these things and that the bible pre-exists man.
The buybull is nothing but bull. This guy may well be an expert in what the buybull says but its only an anthology of fairy tales. He may as well be an expert in Harry Potter for all the good it would do.
happy6146 I know that Jesus is a real person, and I actually agree with a lot of the things he believed like loving everyone, however I am not a Christian
It is very hard not to laugh when Piper and his ilk pontificate on sex. The hard fact - according to numerous studies - is that 95% of US citizens have had pre-marital sex. So who exactly takes Piper seriously?
+the - (seektruther) If the Christian god existed, then I would agree with your percentage figure. Most of us would end up being lovingly tortured in hell forever by this 'loving' deity. Fortunately for everyone, hell and heaven don't exist. It's all horseshit.
John Craske You dont need to be tortured and in 95% so why do you chose so? Even without bringing up all the evidence about credibility of Bible and todays signs that Jesus Christ is real its obvious even to a fool that life cannot be created randomly but by intelligent design, so again why do you chose to end up in 95% and not let him be a 'Loving' God?
+the - (seektruther) You ask why I don't let your god be a loving god to me. Simple. Apart from the extremely important fact that I don't believe for one second that your god exists, he doesn't come anywhere near the minimum moral standards I expect of a deity. Sorry seektruther, I am choosy about the company I keep. I don't want anything to do with a murderer and a mass-torturer. You do. Indeed you want to worship and be with this monster for all eternity. You want his company despite believing that he created a place of eternal torture. Not only did your 'loving' god create this place of everlasting suffering, torment and torture, he allegedly knew IN ADVANCE that the vast majority of his creation would end up there. What a loving creator! You say that only a fool could believe that this world was created without intelligent design. Again, believe that if you want to. However, a large majority of top scientists disagree with you. But hey! Believing what you believe makes you happy. It doesn't really matter that you are deluded and your beliefs are crazy. Because when you die, you won't know that you were wrong. You will simply be dead and not capable of knowing anything.
John Craske God gave His Son for you so you can chose to Live yet you keep insulting and denying Him, who is really the Monster that deserves Hell? Its YOU I can nothing but feel sorry for you and where you are heading in your arrogance and hypocrisy John, hopefully you will fall on your knees and Repent. I know more then 100% that Jesus Christ is real not only by experiences i had seeing incredible things over and over again even with my own eyes but by the simple fact that YES your life couldnt come randomly and your scientists DO KNOW THAT as well but its easier for them to deny it and live a simple minded Lie, most of them will admit they just dont want to believe because they rather live in rebellion to God. I wish you all the best in life John and be sure of one thing, one day you WILL face Him!
Really, being an atheist is so much simpler. No old book is required. What can you do before marriage? Simple. It's up to you and your partner. Do whatever you are both comfortable with. That's it. Next question, please...
John Craske so ur saying its easier to believe that everything u see is the result of a massive explosion, its easier to believe that u can throw a bunch of car parts into a tornado and get a ferrari, no thats just too much for me, look around u, theres Someone out there
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I completely agree. Of course, easier said than done but God is faithful and He will help.
Sarah Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
I am so grateful for this ministry and pastor johns desire and ability to share God’s heart so clearly. I hope we can begin supporting your efforts and the spread of the Gospel. Thank you! You have answered so many questions in this Q&A’s😊
I'm still a virgin and looking forward to the day I get married. Nothing before
that means you don't look forward to any success you have made in your life which is ashamed, and your wasting your life concentrating on everything after marriage because marriage isnt a sure thing. but you do you right.
Kamol, I don't think he means he is expecting to be married and putting his hope in that, I think it's more that he understand that nothing should happen sexually before marriage
Kamol Williams U r down so you pull others down with u he is a guy so he has a way better chance at being married than a woman as long as he isn't butt ugly and has a little bit of change in his pocket whenever he is ready he can ask a girl out and propose if u r actually a gentlemen out here and not like the typical dog who only wants to use a woman up and throw her away especially in a wicked time such as this 9 out of 10 women even hoes will jump at it. So can it moron. Things are so bad that now women have started proposing publicly and it is going viral! So keep on trying to convince the average guy of how unsure marriage is for him. Men have the upper hand it is a mans world u must be brain dead. He literally would probably have to resist marriage in order not to ever get married unless he is a complete freak and goes with losers with a fear of commitment like u might have.
Jeah me to.
But petting is no sex I guess
Zappelphilipp Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
May God give a good health to pastor john piper so that he can help us lot more in growing spiritually for youths... Amen
Great!!! Purity is essential not only for our relationship with God but also for our marriage. Sinfulness is not immunology. You don't stop because you have done once. You are more prone to sin once you have sinned once. So thank you so much Pastor John Piper. May the Lord bless you more and more and increase your knowledge, wisdom, purity and compassion.
Faustin Emadjeu Paul says it’s better for a man not to marry. Gods perfect will in many believers lives is to live completely for God not our wives or families but to leave family behind pushing forward to the upward calling of Christ.
@@Bradmhj Paul also says that does not work for most people and it is far better to marry than to burn. Read in context please.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 yes but the Bible also says most people aren’t even going to heaven and even fewer are getting crowns. He says “not all will get a crown, run the race as to obtain the crown.” And he says “I wish all of u could be as I am but because of sexual immorality each man should have a wife” it’s ok if you wanna marry but we need Christian to know there other options. I always thought life was about serving god, getting married, having kids, and starting a family. But the Bible has taught me of seeking greater achievements for the kingdom, as Paul did.
@@Bradmhj Look ICU, if you want to remain single andbare one of the few who have no problem with lust, go right ahead, BUT do NOT lord it over those who must marry to contain themselves. Only a few being saved has nothing to do with sex or marriage. Christians are few enough. Don't make the number vanishingly small . Paul is counting Christians in I Cor 7 and is NOT saying there is anything less holy about being married. He was talking about the practical problems of facing a time of persecution with having to worry about a family.
@@Bradmhj If you are that into winning spiritual "crowns" you probably are not humble enough to earn one.
Such a powerful teaching. Praise God. We should flee away from temptation..
Beautiful Biblical Advice. Thank you Pastor John. You help me feel like a first class citizen again.
MDH and I kissed before marriage but I always felt convicted about anything that awakened arousal. That was the line for me. For some even kissing would be too tempting. Long engagements are ridiculous though.
I really been trying to stay away from movies and music that promotes sexual stuff. I also have these intrusive thoughts and sexual thoughts. I don't want to think about sexual stuff because I want to please my Father in heaven and I'm really trying to stay on the safe side also I think kissing is okay but it needs to have boundaries. My one advice if you're struggling with sexual sin I highly recommend you stay away from music or movies that are promoting that. The enemy uses everything he can to tempt you. Remember God loves you and Jesus loves you.
Kissing was always something that depended on the situation. Peck on the lips or cheek in during a walk in the crowded park? No problem. Kissing while alone with each other in your house? Probably not a good idea.
I have struggled with pornography for so long. It's like being a drug addict. I know that I will never be able to receive God's blessing of marriage until I can be free.
more likely she will never be enough for you. ..because your altering your bodies emotions and senses. chill out and wean yourself. i struggled too but looking at someone's body and engaging mentally can harm your attraction to your future wife. repent to God, and walk in the grace and mercy today.
+Marissa Jones thank you. I need to seek Him daily and I know with His help I will have victory!
+Bruce Courtney its all good, God don't call the qualified but those that turn to him. he understands and you will grow in self control but you have to watch your music intake, conversations, and mindset. in order to live holy, you must make decisions to live healthy and not perverted. I make the same decisions for myself as well.
And yes you do have the victory! Bruce Courtney
Are yyyyooооu making these mistаkеs with your man? twitter.com/d978f65ab88cb195e/status/804693412402241537 How Fаr Is TTTToo Far Befoооreee Маrriage
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN...WONDERFUL AND INSPIRATIONAL WORDS...GOD BLESS YOU FOR THESE TEACHINGS
Thank you, thank you and thank you!!! Words of Wisdom and Truth! Blessed! 🙏
Thank you John Piper for this. Very well said!
This was BEAUTIFUL
Wooow great teaching, very, very Holy Spirit Saturated.
Very wise advices
Thank you John, i believe what you said is True.
I don't know from where you have got this image of Jesus.. But it's all about Him changing your life after an encounter with the Father's love for you.. He did that for me brother.. And no one can deny what He has done.. And is still doing through so many lives out there.. Yet alone me
The brother/ sister zone. If your brother or sister should not touch you like that, your boyfriend or girlfriend should not touch you, nor you that person, in that manner!
Not too difficult!
buzzbbird very good point, although there is a slight difference between the 2 relationships u mentioned, i know through observation, the physical expression is similar but the attitude is different, if u are in a 'bro/sis' relationship u should treat her like ur favorite biological sis
Lol
Roll tide
Yea I agree, kiss, hug, be extremely affectionate but no sex and no touching in private places. I personally don't really feel inclined to touch there anyway
@@Dazzwidd exactly 👊🏽🕊. We can enjoy kissing hugs . And be patient for the Beauty of marriage and sexual intercourse . 🙏🏽🕊
God bless me with good wife and great family ! Amen
This is the best video on this subject!! I wish all Christians would hear this. My husband and I waited for our first kiss on our wedding day when the pastor said 'you may now kiss your bride'. We knew that Christ wants sexual purity in our lives, for our own good. Your wedding night should not be 'business as usual'. It should be special. If my husband would have even hinted that he wanted sex before marriage I would have dumped him immediately. How would I ever be able to trust him to lead me righteously? We are to motivate each other to become holier as we go thru life. Our marriage is made in heaven because we did it God's way. We notice how different our marriage is than most others in our church.
If you are both happy together it’s important and I wish all the best. But other people’s relationships is not your business even if you’re trying to help.
@@qwertz666 I pay no attention to what others choose to do with their lives. It's none of my business. My business is doing what my father expects of me. His will, not mine. But don't pretend you have a relationship with God and are fornicating.
The very question implies the answer
wow. what a test of Faith.
hello pastor John what would you say to Christians who lost their virginity due to ignorance and now feels devastated and don't know what to look forward to in life.
sumanta sha Repent of it and move on. Ask for God's healing if there are wounds, but don't listen to religious people who say there is no coming back from it or continue to put shame on you. God removes are sin as soon as we are sorry. In His eyes, you are as pure as a baby. Not that He didn't still love you before repentance. Remember the two men Jesus was beside on the cross, they both had done wrong, one repented, one didn't. But Jesus died for both. Just accept that kind of live.
I don't think there are such couples anymore. Really, one way or another, but they do it...
Why in a country with separation of church and state do pastors have to have licences from a state to perform a marriage. I know this is a legal question, but it is about the second highest covenant with God, what right does the government have to be involved, when they clearly do not have that right.
most likely because we are called to follow the law of the land.
piper handles this Q&A well. but if you want the expert's advice on this topic, read this: Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control ~Elisabeth Elliot
I didn't even kiss until the honeymoon
John Erikson
I will not too
😄
smiling
This sounds difficult but, goals.
John Erikson Wow what an incredible man good for u and the missus , anyway so did it last or what? ( The marriage)
Thats lame lol
The Scriptural enjoinments on sexual restraint is proper and weighty. The wise should stay within its purview.
Interesting situation of the woman of samaria living with a man who wasnt her husband
Jesus simply mentioned it
I watch a lot of videos about purity out of morbid curiosity but the part about being able to be whole and happy without being sexually active... I’m asexual and hearing that from somebody outside of the asexual community meant a lot to me
That is nice
Asexuality is very Biblical! The Apostle Paul (in case you didn't know, he was like one of the first pastors; much of the new testament is his writings to the early churches) states that he wishes more people could lead a single life like himself. That way more energy can be put into your work for God. While not many of us can do that without being derailed by our desires, true singleness can a blessing to be celebrated!
Eddie Pollau: Often we people believe we "are" a certain way, only because we have (always) been, although it is a matter of health state and issues really.Strong stress in childhood f ex can make a woman not develop her secondaruý sexual traits/organs to the very feminine levels, and she may think she "is" that way, although it would change as soon as she gets help with the stress. Underweight too. Have you considered getting checked and maybe treated by a good Naturopath or Traditional Chinese Doctor? In stockholm f ex, there is a fine TCM dr(male) who specialises in infertility, and I am sure he could also treat asexuality. Have you ever explored the reason(s) for yours? Too many ppl just settle down , wrongly deciding there is nothing that can be done about sth, and are too enduring and not knowing, and not getting guidance and support by others. Not wanting to stress you or anything, just caring and wanting you to know that blockages, deficiencies, traits and weaknesses can be helped (more than Healthcare tells and knows) so that someone can feel all their humanness and experience such a basic thing as sexual energy. Wishing the best for you, from an involuntary C-PTSD celibate having got too little support an d encouragement for sexuality.. All the best..
He said he had a tip for me !
It was a big tip...
Now my prayers have been answered !
What about holding hands? Or hugging?
Why is sex no longer a sin the moment you are legally married?
Just need someone to talk to about my relationship
He ignored every Bible verse on concubines which definitely has something to say about this. When did it become popular to shrug off the Old Testament law?
If they cannot exercise self control
Let them marry!
that is not a good reason to marry.
Thank you
1 Corinthians 7:2 clears this question up.
1 Corinthians 7:2
NEVERTHELESS TO AVOID FORNICATION. LET EVERY MAN HAVE HIS OWN WIFE. & LET EVERY WOMAN HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND. Amen.
Keep in mind that John Piper married at age 22 right out of college. He did not wait as he is telling everyone here. He did not wait until 30 or 40 and have to struggle with a lust he had no outlet for for another 20 years. He did not wait until he had his lust fully conquered as is being recommended. He married as soon as possibe and let his wife help conquer his lust as Paul tells us in I Cor 7:1-9.
@@Juan_Duran Juan, SO.... Why do you think pointlessly and hopelessly fighting lust as a single instead of getting married and enjoying sex with a wife as God intended you should , is godly and obedient??? Is that restraint leading to godly thoughts? A LITTLE restraint is a virtue, but you have been restraining yourself for 16 years now, over half your life. That is NOT a little restraint. That is torture. How is that working for you? Why don't you marry and take the only Biblical cure for lust - lots of marital sex? Where has God forbidden you to marry? Where has he told you to wait 16 years after puberty to marry?? The guy telling you these lies did not wait 16 years. He is laying burdens on your shoulders he never even tried to carry.
@@Juan_Duran Jaun, now that you have finished writing nonsense, go back and read my last response again with your mind open this time.
1) I know the parable of the vineyard very well. We just covered it in my daily Bible Study with my fiancee. That story has absolutely nothing to do with God finding you a wife. What it really means is that God chooses to give exactly the same gift of eternal life to every person who actively chooses on their own to believe on Jesus and endure in that Faith to the end of their day no matter how early or late in their life they begin believing. It says nothing about God being required to find you a wife.
2). If you expect someone to read a passage it is courteous to tell them what YOU think it means not make them guess. You just look stupid when the passage is not connected to the discussion at hand. You look very stupid. Care to try again?
3). I asked you to cite even one Bible verse where God promises to find your spouse for you and you gave me zilch and were rude enough not to admit you could not do it.
4) please quit listening to satanic liars like John Piper, for your own sake.
@@Juan_Duran My, you are a very stupid little sensitive girl. I did not misspell your name. I mis typed but you are so shallow you wither at imagined insults, baby. I am 66 years old, so not your son. LOL, you come onto a RUclips comments section to joust about religion and when you get outclassed you suddenly think that the forum you chose is inappropriate. What a silly little girl! Clearly once you were shown to be dead wrong you did not want to play anymore. You are a coward and a stupid Coward.
I did not speak of idolizing pastors, but clearly you do and they are ones leading you straight to Hell and a lifetime alone. By the way Washer also married young but He at least WOULD tell you that you have to actively search for a wife and as soon as possible. I have heard him say it, little fool. It is too bad that Washer teacher=s the false gospel of Calvinism that will take him to Hell. He has worked very hard to preach to those that he believes have no choice whether they believe or not. It is pure insaity and a shame but he is Hellbound.
@@Juan_Duran First, you are a particularly nasty and rude piece of crap. I can see again why no woman would want you. You are too feminine to be direct, so you are sarcastic and passive agressive like the sissy little girl your hero pastors have made you.
Secondly, you have yet to answer my original question as to where in the Bible and not out of your idolized false teachers mouths you find that it is God's job to find you a wife. More to the point why on earth should God entrust a wife to a slimy little wretch like you? If you refuse to answer questions or admit when you are shown to be completely wrong, you have no right to ask questions. Take a hike.
Nonetheless, I suggest you quit listening to any pastors at all. You have demonstrated amply that you cannot tell truth from error. If you can understand what you read,which I doubt, I recommend that for once in your life you pick up a Bible with an open mind and no one whispering in your ear about what it means. Just read it fully in context and not as soundbites like liars like Piper do. Start with Matthew and John and then move on to Galatians and I Corinthians. Keep an open mind, knowing that you have been lied to in the past. I seriously doubt you have the brain cells to do this. but it is the only chance you have to escape damnation.
@@Juan_Duran LOL, you whiny little baby girl!
1) Jaun the Jaw, John Piper is NOT a Christian. He was a Calvinist (also not Christian) and then he invented his own religion called Christian Hedonism. That is what he is preaching. Look it up. You should have done that before you stuck your head up his backside 2 months ago.
2) It was Jesus, not me, that complained about Pharisee liars like John Piper inventing their own rules and laying phoney burdens on people's shoulders they never bore. Read all of Matthew 23, little twerp. It is Jesus you have your beef with. It is Jesus you are spitting on, not me.
3) Where exactly does the Bible say that I am to follow the lies of a false teacher just because he said so?? I am dying to hear that one liar.
4) The question I have repeatedly asked you is where in the Bible does it say as you and lying Johnny Piper, the Hedonist, say that God will find you a wife little loser?? You respond with a parable you clearly do not understand. You are NOT following Jesus so you have no reward at all. The parable of the vineyard did not answer the question.
5) Little baby, i didn't spit in your face. I just proved that you were deluded and wrong. You have zero authority over me so I cannot bedefying your authority little twerp.. I don't have to do what you insist. Grow up or you will never get a wife which is what I was originally trying to help you with. You have free will (which Piper and Washer both wrongly say you don't) so stick your head up liars backsides if you want to.
6) You are obviously projecting. You are the damaged loser without a woman in your life. LOL I tried to help you and you struck out like a wounded teddy bear. No claws. I guess no good deed goes unpunished LOL.
7) So finally you admit that you and Piper just made up the bit about God finding you a wife - which is exactly what you said you were waiting for in your first post, liar. "However after reading Job, proverbs and ecclesiastes. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter, that he is in control and that with his help i can tough it out. " Oh really, did you decide that while your head was up Piper's backside?? What if you are not supposed to "tough out" not being married, fool?? Two of those books you say you got that wisdom from were written by a man that had 1000 wives. I am sure Solomon told you not to worry about getting married so rich people could have sex with the women you want. Talk about putting burdens on people's shoulders you don't bear!!! What an idiot you are.
8) "You read only with your eyes and not your soul. " Yes. i do, because that is the only sane and proper way to read. When you "read with your soul" you are inventing things the author never wrote or meant. It is called Eisegesis and it is a great error. What a schmuck you are!
9) God curse you and all like you or rather you have cursed yourself. I have watched Paul Washer's series on courtship long ago and some of his advice has merit although he has only useful advice for teens. He writes everyone else off as lost. Unfortunately Washer is a Calvinist and NOT a Christian and is going to Hell despite all his hard work BECAUSE he preaches a false gospel that says God chose who to save and who to damn before the foundation of the world. According tp Washer and Piper, and Calvin you you were damned before birth and never had a chance. This is blasphemous nonsense and says that you can decide nothing by yourself and God programmed you from birth and that God therefore is the author of sin. Enjoy Hell. God according to Washer has already decided you are going there after He tortures you with sexual denial a bit more. If you want to live, instead. come with me.
So foreplay before marriage is not a sin, but it's advised not to do it so u dont frustrate the your partner and it doesnt go any further.
Aniko Mind you could say that, but observing what Paul wrote may teach otherwise:
“Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”
1 Tim 5:2
It is
Aniko Mind That’s what I heard.
Well is marriage the ceremony and legal route, or the lifetime commitment you two personally make? Can two people be fully committed to eachother and not be married in Gods eyes until it’s legal?
The Bible acknowledges multiple types of marriage.
But if the case of Solomon is an example, what is marriage depends on the local tradition.
So if you're peers would consider you married, I'm inclined to say yes. But if that were the case, then it would likely be considered a common law marriage.
But if this is some "married in our hearts" type thing probably not.
But either way I don't think it matters, the Bible never actually requires that people be married to have sex.
Adam and Eve were never described as married in the Bible, so I really don't think it matters so long as all parties know what they're doing.
Sadly many are fornicating long before the development of a relation or even marriage. Women believes that how can you know if you both are sexually compadible? No one saves themselves any more and virgibity is made fun of. Many would be laughing at this, just look at "Two and a half men" and many movies too.
Story about Free milk and a cow, No touchy No feely, till a wedding vow.
Don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself . Haha,
Yeah, and without the touchy-feely 🤗 and smooches 💋the players will not stay around 👋🏽. 👍🏽🙏🏽 👍🏽
I am sorry but I think that you are not following the Bible. In an engagement with a woman you are allowed and it is healthy to kiss and hug or hold her hand. Nothing more. The problem arrises if you go further. And men who are showing affection are not all ,,players" as you say. I come from a family where we constantly hug and kiss each other and I love to show affection to family and close friends and I intend to do this also with my girlfriend. That doesn't mean that I am a player but it is a precursor of how my future marriage will look and establishing the rules from the engagement period. For me personally would be a big red flag if a woman will refuse any kind of manifestation of affection during the engagement as i might end marring a cold, unaffectionate person or someone who has some emotional problems underneath.
Iosif-Alexandru Lascus
No touchy-feely UNTIL A WEDDING VOW, after a wedding vow yeah hugs and holding hands is fine but kissing I guess it depends on how much self control you have.
I don’t think women want to walk down the Isle in church already pregnant, like I did, was one month pregnant. I couldn’t even have a drink like every one else to celebrate. Sooo if you start 💋💋💋 don’t loose control. That one thing sure does lead to another.
And you can tell if a woman is cold by the look in her eyes and her actions.
r2
If a man wants to feel a woman all up before wedding day, he’s NOT A GOOD MAN. He won’t stop at just feeling her all up he’s going to want MORE, “ more, more, more.
Pretty much any and all contact should be avoided until marriage! I once broke this rule and I was severely hurt! No sexual or sensual touching..
The Bible never condemns contact before marriage. I kissed my girlfriend and never was tempted to sleep with her. Anything that doesn't involve sexual arousal or nakedness is fine
It's very hard to find virgins nowdays
Ordering something full price not from dollar menu😅😅😅😅😅😅
North Korea is rather far away.
This is idealist and I am abstinent but I keep in mind that even with all the will power in the world and belief in God if you end up succumbing to premarital relations it can at times be blamed on the state interference and pervasive immorality in the dating scene but it is worth a shot just as long as u try and do your best and wait for someone that u can see yourself with forever and they feel the same that is what counts. Waiting till Marriage is best but engaged is second best and a serious relationship that eventually leads to it or is like a marriage is third.
did not god put man and wimen to gather thin say dont hinder wat god put to gather so if god put the to gather so lit it it be
Everything is "titillating" and "awakening sexual desire"?
It's almost as if sexuality is a part of humanity and that suppressing it is abnormal.
what's missing from your formula is the concept of absolute morality. which the basis is this: there is a standard, an extremely high standard, not yours nor the culture's. it is from HaShem. and anything outside of that boundary is prohibited. what is the boundary? sexual activity (in any form, no matter how great or small) is permitted exclusively only within the marriage relationship, between husband (male), and wife (female), until death. some say sexual desire is 'natural'. OK, i'll have to say i agree with that. but human beings have the capability of suppressing certain desires. this isn't a bad thing. so take it or leave it. it's up to you to make your own decisions. live your best life, and i'll do the same with mine. in the end, i won't be the judge of you, nor will you be of me. but there will come a time of judgment.
@@vegetablehead
"what's missing from your formula is the concept of absolute morality."
To the contrary, I think that it's a matter of absolute morality that it's wrong to punish people for normal and healthy desires and activities.
"there is a standard, an extremely high standard, not yours nor the culture's."
I most often hear this comment from people who are about tell me their personal and cultural opinion about what they think the standard is.
"sexual activity (in any form, no matter how great or small) is permitted exclusively only within the marriage relationship"
Okay, says who?
"but human beings have the capability of suppressing certain desires. this isn't a bad thing."
Inflicting mental anguish onto people for inevitable and uncontrollable feelings for no reason is evil. It is an expression of active harm.
"so take it or leave it. it's up to you to make your own decisions. live your best life, and i'll do the same with mine. in the end, i won't be the judge of you, nor will you be of me. but there will come a time of judgment."
I do hate a hanging implication.
I would appreciate it if you were open about what you meant.
What you mean is that you think that God agrees with you, and that's fine, but vague threats is another example of the psychological abuse that I'm talking about.
Say, one has self control yet has a burning desire for marriage?
This sounds more like a trick question: "I dont mind eating sweets but I would live in the candy store."
@@MrBilioner say you have a buring desire for marriage but your able to manage self control from sin.
@@NOAHJOSHUA35 yea I want also to marry but God showed me I want to do it mostly for pleasure, did not know before what was the real meaning of it and its not easy to build a healthy marriage. Now that is me I dont know about you but God showed me Im not ready yet even though I want it. God bless you!
Jesus paid the price for our sins so we wouldn’t have to! So trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior. Also repent so you don’t perish!
Instead of thinking about how far you can go before marriage, make a plan to court as friends and limit hugging real close that leads to stirring the hormones. There will be plenty of time for physical touch after you get married.
That is at best a distraction from the issue and at worst a dishonest tactic to shame people for wanting answers,
Taking everything in this video and in the comments right, am I to assume that we are to fall in love with someone without any intimacy and or hint to the compatibility we may or may not have. Doesn't this promote a divorce so to speak if the couple after marriage realize they wasted their time cause they don't fit with each other. How would you even be able to love someone if you cant show it before marriage, in that if we aren't able to touch each other intimately do you really think after marriage its gonna change just like that. I believe in this whole concept(sex before marriage) to an extent because its conflicting to think god would make us should sexual beings and then torture us by setting rules/laws which restrict us from being intimate with a person until we end up bounded to spending the rest of our lives with, without knowing if we can be intimate with them.
That's an interesting question you have Kamol. If you allow me I have one piece of advice for you: bring it to the Lord in prayer. Ask the Lord to show you and reveal to you his divine will and truth for your life and your relationship. We may disagree amongst us, but it should not be to prove a point, let's not forget that the Lord is working in each and everyone of our lives to draw us closure to him, if you feel challenged in this area, this may be something the Lord is trying to change/teach/bring wisdom in. It's normal for us to struggle between culture and the truth of God, since we have to unlearn the things that are not according to his will but ultimately God is the spirit of truth, the one and only truth in this matter. So draw close to him and ask him to make things clear for you, that you would live according to his will and truth, and to let your heart be molded by his LOVING hand.
Cathy B ... Why are you here?
If you’d consider divorcing someone cause the sex isn’t good then you don’t actually love them. That’s exactly what the religious leaders in Jesus’ day were doing and He called them out on it.
Karol, If your walk with God is what it’s supposed to be then He will put the right person in your path and you’ll know she is the one. Praying about it and following the real walk with God is a lot of your answer to this. Your thinking doesn’t matter on how you think you should approach this topic it’s all about what God’s word is saying you should do. God can bless you in many ways if you stay true to Him. God bless🙏🏻✝️🙏🏻
Considering foreplay is the prelude to sex and dating is in theory a prelude to marriage could it not be argued that this means it is not only appropriate but wanted to have that foreplay within the prelude to marriage? So long as you were two disciplined Christians who understood going in that's as far as you would go until they day comes that you can go farther?
He says its frustrating to make yourself stop and not go all the way....but I think the foreplay has intrinsic worth enough to stand on its own. And this would allow dating Christians a means of getting to know some of each other likes and wants earlier on so they are not surprised after marriage when they are expecting to be pleased anyway they want only to discover their partner they are now committed to for life isn't willing to do much at all.
If a man lust after a women. He commits adultery in his heart. You cannot list after your gf because it’s just like committing adultery.
@@andrewpresnell101 can you lust after your wife?
How far can you go with kissing?
this cleared up alot of things for me!!!
My friend thought it wouldn't be too wrong to make out as long as her underwear stayed on and in place. That being said,m the Bible opposes premarital touching.
I recommend only small pecks or kiss on the hand for head or cheeks. NO MAKING OUT.
DONUTCARE I think (and this is my opinion only) that it is something that you have to decide before you get into a relationship. I have also been investigating this question and it seems like the best answers I have got have said that making out will lead to the arousal on sexual desires, which for some people are hard to control. So then it would be best to keep it minimal. I also want to look at my motives for wanting to be kissed. I think it's partly due to the fact that I see it everywhere advertised as something you should do. But also, I found that for me I was purely being selfish. I want to be kissed and feel the emotion and close to that person, but I hadn't considered my partner's well being at all.
@@mariahwisdom-peters6919 I like your perspective and comment. Very balanced.
I have recently been in this position. I started the kiss while gauging if it was being reciprocated. We had slept next to each other and it was early in the morning and I rolled over and cuddled her so the kissing followed. All actions were reciprocated. Control of sexual passion is not a weak point for us, and sexual intercourse does not immediately follow being affectionate. Arousal does definitely occur but we can keep a lid on it. Fornication is a VERY big deal
"How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage?"
Kind Sir...IF any one has sex when not married; they have "Fornicated"; which is a sin. Also, any one that has sex when married; with another person, is an "Adulterer"; which is a sin.
And each sin any one makes; regardless of the sin; WILL be punished 7 fold by Jesus; who IS God Almighty. And if the sin is "flaunted"; Jesus increases the punishment 10 X 7! Believe it or not. The bible has shown that. Believe it or not.
So world; who keeps on sex sinning; WILL be punished with NO exceptions. And so wonder WHY people, and the world, has such horrible pain experiences in their lives. Oh yes. And Jesus' wrath has NO limits. For He has, and still makes the punishments unbearable; in many instances. Believe it or not. Yes Jesus is a quintessential loving God...
But he is ALSO the quintessential Punish-er also, at the SAME time. Thus He is the perfect Judge there will ever be. Praise His Holy Name. NOTHING escapes him. So beware! "Good deeds" brings blessings untold. But "Bad deeds" brings pain that is often a "hell on earth".
So keep it up "sex sinners". It is your choice. For Yes: "hell on earth". No: a much more "peaceful, joyful and happy" life. Believe it or not...
...In any case kind Sir and Brethren, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!
"Fornication" is a mistranslation, The Bible never prohibits pre-marital sex.
Take a shot every time he says titillation
This questionable habit of inferring from scripture unexplicated proscriptions serves only to fetishize sexuality and conflate it with sin. Confinement of sexual activity to marriage is an ideal, a gesture of perfection which has never been achieved across any human society, Christian or otherwise. It is a state of grace we should aspire in our youth to attain someday in marriage. Meanwhile, we accept that we are all sinners, that only Jesus is without sin, and that with repentance we may be forgiven.
Who said that limiting sex to marriage is the ideal?
your 'aspiration' imhu is nothing but cheap grace. 80% of the christian population in america are what are called a 'cultural' or 'carnal' christian. your statement that 'perfection' has never been achieved is only the symptom of an individual who has never fully committed daily crucifixion with jesus. but i guess it is natural for us to makes excuses for our ungodly behaviors. i propose we think more highly of the power that the spirit gives us in making better decisions. but naturally, if one is not being led in the spirit, moral failings are guaranteed to follow. in conclusion, if we are to suppose the scriptures as 'unexplicated proscriptions', and that our only aspiration is to achieve a state of grace, then let's edit out a few verses to make it easier for us: i propose we start with this one: "29-30 “Let’s not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here’s what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump."
Sex is good only in marriage.but if your husband or wife is having sex with someone else outside of being married,should you continue to have sex with them.
Sex is pretty good regardless of a ceremony or not.
No because they have committed adultery
I think that it's okay to live together, sleep together, cuddle, kiss, everything except have sex. If you are unable to control yourself and sex is a weak point for the pair of you then keep separate rooms and don't kiss. No sex = no sin.
However it is better to marry than burn.
Update: I read another person's comment about 'touching' in the private area. That hadn't even occurred to me. Maybe I'm a bit unusual 😅 I reckon don't do that either.
Its not ok to live together. Cause it is imitating marriage. And also, dont set yourself up for failure
Agreed. Living together while not being married yet in a romantic relationship is a ticking timebomb.
Ehh man idk you’re 100% gonna break boundaries if you’re living together there’s no way you can resist that temptation
Tibet
I don't want to be a smart alec but whenever people talk about singleness and how Jesus was single his whole life, never got married... yeah, and he is the sinless son of God.... soooo, yeah :/ *shrugs*
+slug237711
How could he have been one flesh with a sinful creature ?
There is no sinless woman out there .
Isabelle M Jesus came into this world to save everyone from sin and death. I'm just a human man 2000 years later. That's not my purpose, so comparing my singleness to Jesus' and then saying "be cool with it" is just giving me the finger and telling me not to complain that I got the finger. Jesus was single, I am single. He didn't marry or have sexual relations, but I want to. I am disappointed that I am single but I know that I won't find 100% happiness in the other person. That doesn't make me any less upset about my singleness...
Jacob Carpenter Dang, if only the Christian churches in my area has singles adult classes!
Jacob Carpenter
" Marriage proving disastrous , we then need practice lifelong abstinence"
That is absolutely NOT what the BIBLE says !!
Never does God impose such a yoke upon us . He never did that and never will.
Imposing that would be too hard a yoke for us all.
Saying that people should not have sex is a doctrine of demons .
Lifelong abstinence , ie ascetism is not of God.
The Bible never preaches ascetism at all.
It tells the young man not to mess with whores or adulterous wives but it gives him a compensation : it tells him to go to his wife and rejoice always in her. (Proverbs 5 v12).
Those preachers who preach ascetism for the others and are themselves married ...
How disgusting and revolting !
What does 'anger' and 'want of sex' have to do in common ?
Sex is a perfect natural desire and need of the body.
The Bible does not make all a fuss about it as those 'preachers' do .
That's the way God made us all.
It's like hunger or thirst .
Sex in the Bible is portrayed like an appetite or a thirst in Proverbs.
So ? What does 'anger' got to do with natural sexual desire ?
Why do you think those self riighteous preachers and their obsession with "lust" (not to be found in the Bible by the way) are married themselves ?
Why don't they struggle with "lifelong abstinence " themselves ?
So disgusting really.
Taming the lust dragon .. lol
How insane to try to tame something that is natural and that regularly comes back in us !
Why not trying ot tame thirst or hunger ?
We have to tame what is evil Inside of us NOT the way we have been made !
It is insane .
Sex is not evil !!! Sex is a powerful energy , a gift given to mankind.
You want all Christians to be single ? no more Christian families ? no more pregnancies ? no more births ?
What kind of garbage is that ?
Serioulsy , what do Christians have against sex ?
I can see nothing as such in the Bible.
If every man could abstain as you say , then we women would just have to go and find a man in the world ..
Thank God that not every man cannot abstain !!
What would be the use of the creation of the woman then ?
Does not Romans 1 call that the "natural use of the woman "?
It is no sin !!! The sin is where men quit the natural use of the woman and turn to other sexual outlets.
I like the biblical language but that ascetic language scares me.
If men could naturally abstain the way God made them , then Jesus would not have said that some became EUNUCHS for the kingdom of God.
They became eunuchs , which means that naturally a man cannot abstain from sex.
That's the way GOD made humanity.
Ascetism is the most dangerous path that leads to temptations and fall.
I love how all the "preachers" who wrote the books you mentioned are all married !
Seems like their methods don't work for them ...
You can fast for a time but you cannot fast for ever. Because hunger is natural.
God himself in the OT commanded his sons to abstain from their wives for a short period .
Not for ever !
Ascetism is NOT of God but of Satan.
@@framboise595 So I read through your comment, quite an interesting argument. However here's the thing. Marriage is a blessing created by God, for a purpose.
1. To illustrate the union btw God and man (asper Christ and the Church)
2. So "man wouldn't be alone" asper companionship
3. Procreation asper reproduction of (note this) GODLY men and women
4. Last but not the least: pleasure and enjoyment asper sex.
The above in order if importance...
So you see it has a purpose, but if a person doesn't know that purpose or understand the important purpose of marriage and just jumps in it, what is the point???
Paul says "It is better to be unmarried" asper if a person can do without needing the above listed, because note: in Christ all the above are fulfilled
1. We are already in Union with Christ (glooory)
2. We have companionship with God. We are friends of God, scripture calls us even more: His Children!!! Jesus before his death said "All of you (referring to His disciples) would leave me alone, but I am never alone, the Father is with me". So now we are like Christ, God is always with us.
3. The mandate is to bring more sons and daughters into the kingdom via evangelism
4. Hehe what is pleasure asides knowing God and pleasing Him.
Marriage is good and important, but you must know the significance before going in or else the devil would give you reasons to go in and you would either wreck it or live a purposeless union before God.
So yeah you either go in determined to accomplish its purpose, or yo! Stay single but always in Union to Christ
Heck there's no "marriage" in heaven tho 😂😂😂
If a woman and man don't kiss and/or touch each other? How can they say they are in a relationship? They're just friends. It's very awkward to go from friends to marriage. Plus waiting for marriage to have sex will tempt couples to get married too soon. Then the divorce rates could possibly increase. But then if Christians aren't allowed to divorce, it's possible the couple will live unhappily ever after.
B-boy StuntZ I personally think that the relationship should be built on more than just attraction. Obviously that is there but you.have all the time in the world to have fun with that during marriage. I think instead of focusing on the fact that you can't kiss and that. Focus on really falling in love with the person regardless. I think also you need to discuss a lot of things as the relationship goes on, as if you do get married you need to be in unity. I don't mean the same but kinda like a team with one goal.
this makes the most sense to me, like seriously i cant think of falling in love with someone i have no form of intimacy or connection with, and how am i gonna do that from looking at them alone and talking, what happens when we are married and to actually touch and realize we dont fit or work out it feels awkward IT PROMOTES DIVORCE.
B-boy StuntZ I was with a guy for 2 years without sex, I am gonna call bullshit on that one. Just come out say it you want to have sex because you desire it and want to get closer to a boyfriend or girlfriend even if it won't last but stop sugarcoating shit!!!!
Kamol Williams Most couples who are having sex don't even end up married you fucking twat so abstaining from premarital sex does not promote divorce u horny freak it actually just means that you are way more likely to end up married in the first place if you and the person r on the same page. It sounds like to me that you think all there is to a real relationship is sex and obviously you have never been married never engaged never cohabitated never been a father so what the fuck do u know about a serious relationship? I bet u haven't even been in a relationship that was meaningful long-term relationship that lasted over a year straight with no breaks. Get out of here man. U can't be taken seriously.
It is never said in the bible that having sex before being married by law is bad but:
"nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
What I understand from this is this: each human being is way too corrupt and lacks the ability to control his/her sexual urges. Therefor, let marriage be a solid foundation for you to start having sex because your relationship is bound by law, the church and most importantly by God. If you are not married, this somehow gives us grounds to start having sex with everyone we think is worthy enough, and who knows how many that is.
Do not trust in your strength too much, for it will fail you. Trust in God and what God says.
mmmm, trust me,I've never heard a woman say she wishes she'd had sex with more guys before she got married. Or never heard guys saying"I wish my wife hooked up with more dudes before we married. "
Kiko Jimenez repent and dint twist scripture
Wrong. On so many levels. If you even look at a person with lust in your heart you've committed adultery with that person. Sex outside of consecrated marriage is prohibited by God's law. "for this reason a man will leave father and mother and cleave to his wife. And the two shall become ONE flesh", hence why Jesus says, "what God joins, let no man separate." Too many scriptures to refute this BUT...
I don't get the impression you've studied the scriptures thoroughly and I am not sure, based upon what you've written, that you are born again, or at the very most, if you are, not mature in your knowledge and understanding of the grace of God. " each human being is way too corrupt and lacks the ability to control his/her sexual urges." Wrong. 1 Corinthians 7 refutes this, Romans 6-8, Galatians 5 and the list goes on, all refute this. This is the way a lost person approaches the lusts of the flesh. The saved person walks according to the spirit, setting their minds on the things of the spirit; those that do so, putting to death the deeds of the flesh by the Spirit, will live.
I am not wishing to bash on you, but just to lovingly direct you to the truth of the gospel. May God's grace be on you
Kiko Jimenez uuuuuugggh are you serious
OkashiiAmerican doesn't it say something like a man that marries a divorced woman vice-versa commits adultery or something
Sex is covenant. Having sex is how you enter in to a marriage covenant. There really is no such thing as pre marriage sex. If you lay with someone you created a one flesh covenant. Marriage license is not biblical and has nothing to do with marriage
By your logic I already got married 3 times :DDD
@@qwertz666 yes
@@ryanehlis426 Only person I wanna marry is my partner so you can keep your sick opinions to yourself.
And I forgot. 4 times married because I was molested as a child.
@@qwertz666 lol, sexual abuse is obviously not marriage.
@@ryanehlis426 Besides not everyone is religious or listen to 2 000 years old book. Times change and people change we cannot rely on some old book.
Still gonna get busy regardless 😂😂
heard that ;3
Get some!!
"Fornication" is actually quite a loose translation for the Greek word "porneia". It actually means "prostitution". What Paul tells the Corinthians is not to visit brothels or prostitute themselves or sexual practices that were common at that time in Greece, like having a catamite or something like that.
I actually see it like this: Marriage rites have changed over years, the world has changed. It's not so easy to marry early nowadays in some countries because first both partners have to finish an education, get a job to earn money to pay for a house or an apartment. If you study at a university it can take a long time until you're ready for family, maybe you're already 30 and it's nearly impossible to abstain for all this time. It surely was easier in the old times.
Also, I find it amusing, many people are so eager to take all the books of the Bible literally with the exception of one book: the Song of Songs. If you take that one literally it's a highly erotic piece of literature and it certainly does not describe the relationship of a married couple, but simply of two lovers.
Well, Paul wrote to Timohy that in the latter times being Christian would be much more difficult. However it would be possible. You said "maybe you're already 30 and it's nearly impossible to abstain for all this time". Jesus lived 33 1/2 years on earth, yet He never even thought ONE lustful thought in His entire life. Joseph, being a young man with strong sexual desires, was tempted to have sex with Potiphar's wife, and he could have done it. Yet he resisted because he had the fear of the Lord (Gen 39). Most young "Christian" men in our day would fall in a much lesser temptation today. God's purpose for sex is to be for a married couple. It is fully possible to abstain from sexual relatinship your entire life in the 21st century, for it is written in Jude 24: "Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy". Jesus can keep us from falling.
Btw, Luke 18:27: "Jesus replied, "What is impossible with man is possible with God."
Alex
What about a couple that has sex before marriage, but still marries later? It can happen, e.g. if they still cannot afford to move out of their parent's house. I wouldn't call that a sin. Adultery is a sin. The marriage bond also doesn't protect anything, as I was once told in church. Divorce can still happen. I think, the important thing is to stay with that person you decided to become one with. Marriage traditions and things like that, they have changed over time. Where I live, you even have to marry twice: before the state, and then before the church. Which ceremony is the one that counts? If I chose not to marry in a church, but only before the state, does that count? It's really complicated. Did you know, there were times when you didn't even need to have a witness in a marriage ceremony? There was a ritual called the "dextrarum iunctio", you simply grasped the right hand of your partner and that was it. God was thought to be the only witness needed. But that system didn't work out, because some men simply left their women, the women couldn't proof their marriage and so on. What happened here is again: adultery. That's the real sin and not pre-marital sex.
kadda1212 And how do you know whether or not you are going to marry the person, having already had sex? You never know until you have married. Besides, pre-marital sex is like using a person's body to satisfy your bodily lusts without having bound yourself to that person and without having the responsibilities of a married person. Marriage is what brings a man and a woman together in a covenant and binds them together. Pre-marital sex is just a sign of lack of self-control and spiritual immaturity, where they can't control their passions and lusts, and therefore have to satisfy themselves. Throughout Scripture we see that God's only purpose with sex is inside marriage, not outside - to be used as a gift of God only for His purpose to His glory. God is glorified inside marriage, not outside of it. Even in the world we see that there are so many problems arising in sexual relationships outside of marriage. It gives a sense of guilt and shame, and is disastrous. Even worldly people have known this for centuries. As to divorce, of course it can happen. Yet God hates it. How many women have not thought they have got into a serious relationship and had sex, and been turned down? In fact, if it is as you say that marriage bond doesn't protect anything, then why would people marry at all? Why not then have sex with different people whom we think we are going to marry, one after the other? As long as you are not bound to a person with God's marrital covenant, you do not belong to him or her, and therefore have nothing to do with his/her body.
kadda1212 Btw, isn't it written: "It is good for a man not to (sexually) touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband (1 Cor 7)". He is not here speaking of a man having sex with another man's wife, but of unmarried people abstaining from sexual immorality by marrying, and thus fulfilling their sexual desires. Otherwise he could have allowed a man to have sex without having to have "his own wife". Look at those people in the world who can't wait till they get married before they have sex. Sexually transmitted diseases, shame, problems, etc etc. Or why do you think it is so difficult for people to have sex with their boy-/girlfriend, while not with husband/wife? God has placed something within people to make it difficult for them to have sex outside of marriage and thus ruin their lives. Marriage is not in sex, sex is in marriage.
It is well established fact, that humans have been around for a lot longer than the bible has, and that marriage is a man-made concept. in fact Christianity was pretty much last in line to accept marriage as part of their belief system. there is much history on this. so what i don't understand is this sudden belief that "sex is only for marriage" well how did people have sex, and procreate before marriage and the bible were invented? marriage is simply an option to have your sexual relationship legally recognized for the purposes of property rights. it's a choice, but hasn't always been one. humans had sex, and raised children just fine for years. why would a god punish people for procreating and bonding. if a god actually made us, than he made us sexual beings for a reason. it is a also a fact that fetuses masturbate to the point of orgasm, inside the womb. it is unnatural to turn sexual instincts aside, until a ring is exchanged, and a stranger gives you permission to kiss your wife/husband. i don't understand why so many people deny themselves the ability to love fully....also it is proven that the longer a person waits before having sex, the more likely they are to have sexual dysfunction and impotence. it's a case of "use it or lose it." literally.
NymphetaminexXxGrrrl whoa there, established on what, something man-made? in Gen 2, it plainly shows it was Gods idea not Adams, God intends for marriage to be a lifelong covenant between a man & a woman, thats what marriage really is
wgme86 see the problem here is that you are getting your "facts" from the bible..i am getting my facts from actual history. and no god did not intend marriage to be "one man one woman" the biblical definition of marriage includes a whole lot of immoral activities. in the bible all a man has to do is burn down the neighboring village, murder a few families, steal their virgin children, rape the children, and than say "we are now married before god" also polygamy was the norm. some men in the bible had hundreds of wives, including numerous prostitutes, children, rape victims, slaves...there is absolutely nothing sacred whatsoever, about the biblical definition of marriage. the definition of marriage has already changed over time, and that is a very good thing! all the bible promotes is incest, rape, child-molestation, and slavery. that is all the bible bases marriage on, how many people you can rape. for the bible says anyone who has been raped, must marry their rapist. trust me there is a large colorful history on marriage that pre-dates the bible. but if you only accept the biblical version than violence and force is all you will get...
+NymphetaminexXxGrrrl You say very ignorant things woman. I read your comments and I tried to think of a comback but I relies how hard it is to argue agents stupidity. it's very hard.
Eugene Nunn How is it ignorant to quote the bible? i have a 10 pound bible on my table as we speak. It has been passed down in my family for generations, and includes the Old Testament, The New Testament, Some of the lost gospels, and other Christian literature. I have made nothing up, everything i say is written in the christian bible. Are you denying that the bible promotes polygamy? or that men may marry underage non-consenting children? there have been incestuous stories, of daughters seducing their father to take his seed. and it plainly says that women and children are the "spoils of war" and that it is acceptable to rape the children of the families you murder...but once you rape them, you must marry them. I am being honest this is what the bible sanctions as biblical marriage. I am reading this straight from the book of your god. also people have existed for far longer than the bible has...even Christians don't dispute that as it is fact. So obviously people had sex before the bible was written. Unless you intend to say that people learned to read and write, before they learned to procreate...which is completely impossible. I'm sorry if the truth offends you, i am simply stating historical facts, along with biblical morals. That is the truth.
+NymphetaminexXxGrrrl please quote the scriptures you claim show that the bible allows for man to do all these things and that the bible pre-exists man.
The buybull is nothing but bull. This guy may well be an expert in what the buybull says but its only an anthology of fairy tales.
He may as well be an expert in Harry Potter for all the good it would do.
You think I'm going to take sex advise from some old man? haha good joke
Blair Better to take advice on how to spell.
John Craske oops typo :)
This is for Christians, not for you if you don't believe in the Jesus.
happy6146 I know that Jesus is a real person, and I actually agree with a lot of the things he believed like loving everyone, however I am not a Christian
This is still directed towards Christians and not towards you, since you're not a christian. So you dont have to follow any of this.
It is very hard not to laugh when Piper and his ilk pontificate on sex. The hard fact - according to numerous studies - is that 95% of US citizens have had pre-marital sex. So who exactly takes Piper seriously?
+John Craske 95% is probably the % of people in Hell as well
+the - (seektruther) If the Christian god existed, then I would agree with your percentage figure. Most of us would end up being lovingly tortured in hell forever by this 'loving' deity. Fortunately for everyone, hell and heaven don't exist. It's all horseshit.
John Craske You dont need to be tortured and in 95% so why do you chose so? Even without bringing up all the evidence about credibility of Bible and todays signs that Jesus Christ is real its obvious even to a fool that life cannot be created randomly but by intelligent design, so again why do you chose to end up in 95% and not let him be a 'Loving' God?
+the - (seektruther) You ask why I don't let your god be a loving god to me. Simple. Apart from the extremely important fact that I don't believe for one second that your god exists, he doesn't come anywhere near the minimum moral standards I expect of a deity.
Sorry seektruther, I am choosy about the company I keep. I don't want anything to do with a murderer and a mass-torturer. You do. Indeed you want to worship and be with this monster for all eternity. You want his company despite believing that he created a place of eternal torture.
Not only did your 'loving' god create this place of everlasting suffering, torment and torture, he allegedly knew IN ADVANCE that the vast majority of his creation would end up there. What a loving creator!
You say that only a fool could believe that this world was created without intelligent design. Again, believe that if you want to. However, a large majority of top scientists disagree with you.
But hey! Believing what you believe makes you happy. It doesn't really matter that you are deluded and your beliefs are crazy. Because when you die, you won't know that you were wrong. You will simply be dead and not capable of knowing anything.
John Craske God gave His Son for you so you can chose to Live yet you keep insulting and denying Him, who is really the Monster that deserves Hell? Its YOU I can nothing but feel sorry for you and where you are heading in your arrogance and hypocrisy John, hopefully you will fall on your knees and Repent. I know more then 100% that Jesus Christ is real not only by experiences i had seeing incredible things over and over again even with my own eyes but by the simple fact that YES your life couldnt come randomly and your scientists DO KNOW THAT as well but its easier for them to deny it and live a simple minded Lie, most of them will admit they just dont want to believe because they rather live in rebellion to God. I wish you all the best in life John and be sure of one thing, one day you WILL face Him!
Jesus said in Matthew 4:5 that as long as you just let the head in, he'll be okay with it. But no butt stuff for some reason.
It sounds like hes getting off while hes talking.
Stop trying to ruin lives
Kenechi J'Ogbonna ur an idiot
Really, being an atheist is so much simpler. No old book is required. What can you do before marriage? Simple. It's up to you and your partner. Do whatever you are both comfortable with. That's it. Next question, please...
I laughed my socks of at this twat
Jerry Grauert awesome reply
Religious nonsense
John Craske so ur saying its easier to believe that everything u see is the result of a massive explosion, its easier to believe that u can throw a bunch of car parts into a tornado and get a ferrari, no thats just too much for me, look around u, theres Someone out there
wgme86 Ok, I'm listening. Exactly who is out there?