Today has been 3 years since I got the last text I'd ever get from my dad. I've tried to make this video for 3 years now...and I hope it encourages someone hearing my story...thank you all for loving and supporting me, especially all of you who wrote me some of the most comforting words after my dad died.The end of this video is my very favorite...thank you all for loving me so much!
I cannot believe the out-pouring of love you guys have written to my and to all the others who have posted their stories of loss! You guys are full of so much love and kindness! Thank you all for being so amazing! I feel my heart so full of your love and send you a million hugs from my heart!
***** Kandee you are a beautiful person. This video is so emotional and your admiration and love for your wonderful dad is amazing. He must be so so proud of you. Thankyou for sharing such a personal experience with us. I love you! xx
***** I think I kinda needed this, I lost my Grandfather when I was 10 (I'll be 32 on Fathers Day here in the UK). He was the only Father figure I really had and in that sense I was a complete 'Daddys Girl'. I still miss him every single day even 22 years on. He was the light, laughter and joy to my heart, I remember when I was a kid and he'd take me to fairs with him where he sold glassware and I'd sit in the caravan drawing all sorts of silly things. He used to take them and put them on the table outside and get other fair goers to buy them. He always encouraged my art and nowadays I do freelance work/character design for people on Deviantart and such. Thank you Kandee, for sharing and for being such a wonderful and sweet person.
On Sept 21, it'll be three yrs I tragically lost my little sister. So I can totally feel the pain you live with daily. The wound never heals, we just learn to live with the pain.
I remember watching this video earlier this year, bawling cause I was terrified of losing my dad. Well, about 3 days ago I lost him. It's been the hardest thing on me. I thought about this video and it's just nice to know other people have gone through this. I never imagined losing my dad this early in life, but I know he's in a better place. I love you Kandee. We'll see them again one day.
Giant hugs! I lost my dad 10 years ago and I still think of him. I'm going to save this in my cancer journey list. Found out last month that my cancer is back and I am now stage 4. I listen to you and think of my boys and hope that they can find peace like this after my body fails me. I will fight but I know what cancer is. Big hugs from me to you!
Thank you all. I am having a down day. My hair is falling out again. For some reason this time is more sad. I only got it 2 inches long before I had to start chemo again. I know it's small but it's one thing that shows the world I am sick. This too shall pass.
I have a knot in my throat and my eyes are so watery I want to say so much to you right now but I don't even know what I can tell you other than I love you
I'm crying over here... I'm so sorry for your loss 😔 you are such a positive light every time I see you. By making this video your a positive light for those who have gone through this as well.
Kandee, this video gave me faith in a way I've never known. I was raised without religion. My parents made it clear they wanted none of that in our house, and here I am 20 years later and I've felt lost until this moment. I've lost very close friends and I never knew how to deal with it. I've never prayed before, I don't know where to start, but I've never realized that the thing I've been searching for to cling on to might just be that. I've hurt myself too many times trying to cope with pain, and I've been blurry looking for solutions, but this video has opened my eyes. It's such a beautiful concept. The idea that I'll be able to see my loved ones again one day is the most comforting thing I've ever heard. For once I feel warm, and not so dark. Thank you so much Kandee. More strength to you, I wish I could hug you.
Vitani Verci This is amazing. The power of God is so strong. GOD is LOVE. I will be praying for you that you find the right path for you. (: Your comment was very touching.
Praying that Jesus gives you a renewed joy and strength everyday! You are perfect in His eyes, and don't you ever forget that. Just keep pursuing Him and showing those around you the love of Jesus and I promise life will look more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Vitani Verci You are so strong to have an open heart! I can absolutely relate to what you are saying regarding feeling warmth amongst darkness. That truly is the power of Jesus. I will be praying for you and rooting for you!! God bless you!
Vitani Verci I am a Christian. Sweetie all you have to do is talk to God and ask him to come into your heart. It's really simple. God loves you and he wants to come in your heart! All you have to do is ask and then go from there to live for the lord. God Bless you!
LizKM losing ur father hurts I hope u never have to go though it. it was not easy I cried all the time form the time I backed out of my drive way and speed to the hospitale to be with him I didn't get pulled over either then it hit me he was gone. gone for ever
I was watching a buzzfeed video when I came across this. I'm currently going through the process of preparing my dad's funeral and it feels so horrible. But honestly, this video helped me cry out a lot of things I haven't been able to. Thank you so much for this. I've been thinking about how alone I feel, but things like this make me feel not so alone. Thank you so much.
You are loved. :) I'm very sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone so close. Thank goodness for people like Kandee who bring hope into our lives. Much love :)
Thank you for sharing your story Kandee. I've been missing my mom a lot lately (she passed away 5 years ago) and hearing your words has given me strength. Time doesn't heal really at all but it makes the pain a little more bearable. We were very close and even now it seems surreal that she is no longer here on earth.
***** I feel the same way. I lost my mom almost 3 years ago and I would do anything to have a video or even a recording of her voice. Kandee is very lucky in that sense.
Stephie, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Yes I wish I had a few little clips of mom just being her so that I could have a little piece of her with me. I kept her voice mails for a long time (when I switched phones they were lost and it was very upsetting).
***** My heart is with you so much beautiful! Your mama's love is in your very heart and DNA, every day is a change to sparkle up the world with her love that is what made you! huge hugs and so much love beautiful!!
stephie771 my heart is with you! I thought this phone was ruined, that had his videos on it, it means so much to me to have them! BUt even when I thought it was lost, I knew I had all my memories in my heart! I love you!
Kandee my dad went home to be with the Lord in July 2000. His 15 year anniversary is upon me. Believe me, you will NEVER forget what your dad sounds like, smells like or any of his personality traits. Every day I hear, see or smell something that reminds me of my dad. We are traditional Italian family, so every holiday I cook the dishes we used to cook together. Never worry about forgetting. I've also lost 2 brothers as well. I know they have all gone on to the place that had been prepared for them when they made Jesus their Lord and Savior. Life may crumble around you, but God is more than your portion and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! God bless you Landed!
Oh my, your comment made me tear up! I lost my dad five years ago, and I feel the same way: I smell him, I hear his voice when he was laughing and I see his smile, when he looked at me. And I smile so big, because I feel so lucky to have him with me every day, even though he isn't here❤️ thank you so much for making me thinking about it in that way😊
Today my father went on a trip, and before he got on the plane we got on a little fight, i don't even remember why now... all i want to do is hug him now
Sweetheart, everything will be fine. Sometimes we need reminders like this to show us that the arguments, no matter how big or small, we have with our parents don't matter. Your dad knows you love him. Everything will be okay.
It's like this vid was ment for u. I'm praying you get comfort 🙏 I know when my friend & grandparents passed away I thought was there anything I did wrong too, but they r in heaven where there's peace & they know our hearts & grudges don't exist when ur so safe. I've also learned I had a opportunity to become closer with family left. God bless
5 years ago my mom learned she had cancer and then suddenly after going through 7 month of treatments she got an infection and passed away. I wake up sometimes wanting to tell her about my dreams but then i remember that i can't. some days i literally cannot breathe it hurts so much, but i know that she is in heaven waiting for me and that is the only comfort i have. Thank you for sharing this.
I know your pain so much. I lost my mom to cancer. there's so many times I wanted to go see my mom and say "look mom! I got the job!" "guess what mom? I'm pregnant!" or just call her whenever another guy broke my heart and just cry to her 😢😢😢. I can't believe I'm even breathing without her. it's like when she died I mind as well had died too.
My dad just died last week. I don't think I can watch this right now. But I do remember watching your videos back then and crying so much because my heart hurt so much for you. It's never easy around the anniversary I'm sure my birthday was on Thursday and it's just.. It's too hard I couldn't celebrate and I doubt I ever could.😔Sending you love 💖
I'm so sorry for your loss. I havent lost any close loved ones so I can't say I can relate but I did lose a dog that I had for 17 years and Was there when I was born. But it does get better... You will never not miss him and there will be dark days but you will get through them. 😊
My dog Soxy died when she was 15, I'd had her for most of my life so I can relate to that too. My dad had cancer so it wasn't unexpected but it doesn't make it easy. I don't think anything ever would 😔 thank you x
Rose McMaster :( I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to have a loved one with cancer, and still feel so crushed when their time comes. Nothing on this earth can prepare you. I hope you find strength knowing that he's watching over you every day and is with you now more than ever
I know this may seem minor compared to kandee's loss, but 2 years ago from today, I lost my dog. My beautiful dog, I've had her since the day I was born, she shared my life and I just loved her so much. I miss her so damn much. ily roxy 😔
Sabrina Barré It so awful when people trivialize the loss of a pet. It can be just as devastating as losing a human loved one. I lost my kitty about a week an a half ago. I know how it feels and I am wishing you love and strength.
Sabrina Barré Your dog's loss is not minor Sabrina. A pet is a part of the family, losing them is just as tough. Im so sorry for your loss. My dogs are my children..haha my babies...I love them so much. One of my dogs is slowly becoming old and you can tell he's slowing down..it's so sad to see..i'm going to miss him so much...he's my baby. He's a part of the family.
Jody Stevens-Curtis Oh no :( I'm praying for your baby...you must feel so scared :( First of all, you're awesome for taking her to get treatment in the first place, others would of just put the dog down or just let them suffer. Second, I will be praying for your baby. I hope you don;t have to make that decision of putting her down...but just remember she loves you and shes thankful for having such an amazing owner. I hope she gets through this!
Hi Kandy! I remember when you uploaded this & I cried throughout the video & imagined this is how I will feel when my grandfather passes. He is like my one and only family member. He passed a few days ago & I find myself watching this now! Thanks so much for Sharing your story please pray for peace for me
Oh my heArt & prayers for God's heavenly comfort will wrap you up like a comfy blanket until your heart grows a lil stronger and heals a lil more....the hurt will never go away but it will not sting as raw as it does in the first few days after someone's gone into heaven! Know that I love you and you're not alone!
Sorry to hear it :( I lost both of my grandfathers in 1998 and 1999 respectively. My grandmother on my Mom's side passed in 2006 and the one on my Dad's in 1977, before I was even born. I hope your grandfather is being treated well by God in Heaven. I feel for you as well. :(
The ending showing your dad just made me collapse on the floor in tears. My heart is hurting for you. My dad died in April of 2014. He was never there for me as a child, and I was so hurt and mad when he died. So many questions I never got to ask. God bless you, Kandee. You're truly the perfect definition of an angel on earth. We can always make it through anything, no matter how hard it is. Thank you for being you♡
Yes exactly. I still to this day don't know how to handle his death. He did a lot of bad things to me. There's days I feel like I'm a bad person for not feeling sad that he's gone, and other days I'm angry and depressed for what he did and knowing I'll never get to ask why.
Oh Kandee, I feel all of this so much more than I could ever put into words. It was 10 years ago when I last saw my mom. Her last words to me will haunt me forever, I cant even say it out loud... and I am just finally starting to not cry thinking about her. She was my absolute biggest supporter and not a day goes by that I don't wish I could speak to her and tell her about everything. The way you lost your father was so so tragic and I am truly so so sorry that you had to go through such heartache. It's such a hard thing to lose a parent. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Thank you so much for sharing, it must be so hard to recount all of that. Love you!
RawBeautyKristi I'm sending you so many hugs and so much love! My prayer is for God to wrap you up in so much love from your mama! And she is so proud of you, I'm sure! You are beautiful and full of talent and I know you're gonna live bolder and bigger for you mom! I love you goreous!
Thank you so much kandee! same for you! Your dad would be so proud of the sweet and supportive woman that you are. The heartache we have to go through here will be all worth it one day when we get to live forever with our loved ones. Love you!
I lost my older brother 7 years ago and I remember my dad waking me up for school and I knew something was wrong right away because mom always woke us up and I asked right away if my mom was okay and he said she was but to eat and get dressed. He left and came back later n I could see he had been crying and I knew something terrible had happened. During the night my brother was involved in an accident and it took him from us. I had seen him the day before and took the very last picture of him ever and I remember not crying once for several months and then all of a sudden spending a whole week in bed refusing to eat or even dress for the day n that whole week I cried. You are a strong soul and I know how hard it can be. You have so much love in your life and I thank you for sharing this with us all. It means so much to so many. 💜
Lea Grady I'm so sorry for your loss! I remember when my dad died I didn't really cry or grieve before 5 years after he had passed away. It was denial that kept me from grieving I guess. I hope you're doing better now!
I know a dog doesn't compare to losing a parent but I'm hurting so bad right now. I just lost my boy Jack. He was the love of my life and I don't know to do with myself so I just came to watch this video. Thank you Kandee for your wisdom 💜
I lost my dad when I was just 11 years old. I found him dead on our couch. For months I didn't talk about it but I got therapy and I eventually learned that it felt good to talk about it and sharing my knowledge and hope with other people. I'm glad you're doing the same and you're such a strong and beautiful woman. I really look up to you. Thank you for sharing this story. God bless.
This video made me cry so hard. Everything that you talked about hit home. I haven't lost anyone since I was little and I don't remember much, but I do have depression. All of the emotions that you talked about are things I feel every day with no catalyst. Nothing happened to make me feel like this I just do, which makes it that much harder to deal with. I love Jesus and have HIm in my heart. I can't wait to be with HIm in heaven, but that's the problem. I can't wait. Fighting to live when all you want to do is go home to heaven is excruciating. I know that I can't die, but I don't know how to live. I will pray for the Lord to continue to heal your heart. Will you do the same for me? You're so wise and I would love to talk further but I know that probably won't happen. I love you Kandee! Thank you for being a light in our lives.
Sarah Nystrom Thank you my sister in Christ for living and sharing your story to encourage others who struggle too. Remember, "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." I'm praying that every day God will make his escape for you evident so that you can continue to live your life for Him :)
JustPiichi Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. It's so awesome that we can share the Gospel to people we have never met through the internet! Keep seeking Him!
Kandee I just want to say Thank You. Thank you for sharing this video. I lost my Dad unexpectedly a year ago in April. It has been so hard on me. I cry a LOT, out of the blue and during special moments, like holidays or when my kids are doing something he would be so proud of, etc. The smallest things trigger memories of him. You said some very good things that I think will help me continue to get through. I also lost my Mom in 1998. Her passing wasn't so much unexpected because she was suffering from cancer, so I knew her time was limited, but it didn't make it any easier for her to pass away. She was so young (44) and didn't get to meet all of her grandchildren. It's been a really tough year for me to not have either of my parents anymore. Your video made me cry....a lot, especially when it got to the video clips at the end. I wish I had something like that of my Dad. Thank you for the hugs, sending some right back to you.
Prayers and hugs to you! Thank you for writing a piece of your story, your suffering, your heart. I read it several times and looked at your sweet face. You will be in my prayers! ~ Melody
I connected with your story so deeply, Kandee. My dad died three years ago in April. He was in liver failure and he had suffered internal bleeding. I talked to him on a rainy Sunday morning and he told me not to worry about him, to go to the baby shower I was supposed to be at and I could visit him the next day. Not even an hour later, a doctor called me and told me "Your father is a very sick man. You need to come to the hosptial." When I got there, he was still conscious. When I walked in and saw the containers of blood they had pumped from his stomach, I lost it. He hugged me and said "Nobody makes it out of here alive, my love." That's what he called me from the day that I was born, "my love." It was only a couple minutes after that that they took him in for surgery. He was cracking jokes and making the nurses laugh the whole time. When they brought him back an hour or so later, he was heavily sedated and on a ventilator. They wanted to keep the vent in for a day or so because he was having asophageal aneurysms and they didn't want to keep irritating his throat. By Tuesday they tried taking him off the ventilator. During the process, he began seizing. He suffered swelling of the brain that caused extensive damage. I was his only child and he wasn't married, so the decision was mine. After giving him a few days to come back and not having any success, I met with palliative care. They told me he almost definitely wouldn't wake up. If he did, he might recognize me but never be able to say my name. He could be conscious but trapped in his mind. A prisoner in his own body. At 20 years old, I made the decision to remove my best friend from life support. That loss left me paralyzed with grief. I wasn't living, I was going through the motions. I would go right into hysterics without any trigger. I felt like I had been dropped into the middle of the ocean and every time I thrashed to the surface, a wave would crash down and I would plummet again and again and again. I searched for a video like yours, Kandee. I just wanted to know someone felt the way I did. It took me over two years to feel okay again because I kept burying my emotions. Even though it's been so long, I just want you to know that your video truly comforted me. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand it completely. My Dad smelled like leather, tobacco and Irish Springs soap. He liked making people smile. He was rough and tough, but he used to grow his hair out and donate it to foundations that made wigs for cancer patients after his sister died from lung cancer. He was one of a kind. It sounds like your dad was too. ♡♡
Savannah Shaye I am so so so sorry for your loss! What a truly awful thing to have gone through a such a young age. I am so relieved to know you are making it out and continuing to push on. You're inspiring.
Thank you both ♡ I was in college at the time and I pushed forward and got my associates degree in Elementary Education. Sadly, my mom got really sick before I could start on my bachelor's and I've been taking care of her (driving her to appointments, cooking, helping with my sister) for the last couple of years now. As crazy as this sounds, I feel so lucky to be able to spend so much time with my mom after the loss of my dad even though the circumstances are unfortunate. I just want anyone who is experiencing a loss or a difficult time who may read this to know that I am so much better today. Time helps, even though you'll always miss your loved one. I miss my dad terribly, but I've made room for the loss in my life. It's a part of me, but it doesn't define me.
Kandy, thank you for doing this. My heart goes out to you. I really needed this because my Dad just passed away a little over 3 weeks ago. The pain is so intense - this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I feel broken. Sending you big hugs.
I lost my mom 3 weeks ago....I feel your pain. I keep wondering if it will ever get better or if this lump that has taken up residence in my throat will always be here. At least her video can give us hope it will get better.
I love you, too, Kandee (sorry for the auto correct typo with your name in my previous comment). You taking the time to reply to me means so much. I am so thankful that I found you on RUclips last year and for all of your positivity and love you share with everyone.
I started crying after the first four minutes and couldn't stop anymore by hearing your story. I lost my dad almost 5 years ago and I miss him a lot. He wasn't there when I graduated and yeah.. Your story brings back so many memories yet you make me smile and see the good things in life, even without him. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Love you Kandee. Much love from Holland.
I just have to ask who the F*** thumbs downed this video? What a sad story and how awesome is she to share it with us! Thank you Kandee for being so open and genuine. Your Dad is most definitely bragging about you over the nightly banquets up there in heaven.
This was so hard for me to watch, because my dad is my best friend and I could never image losing him. I would probably go insane or something. I'm so sorry for your loss, I love you and you are so crazy brave for sharing your story!!!! Your videos are amazing, and you're the reason I got into wearing makeup. People always compliment me on how well I apply my makeup, and it gives me so much confidence. I have started doing other people's makeup, and I love it when they feel beautiful as well. So thank you for making me feel beautiful and good about myself!!!❤️😊
My dad is getting older (he's 70 and I'm 20) and I'm so scared of him dying, because he talks about it sometimes and I love him to death. He's my best friend and my mentor and I can't imagine being happy without him :c just thinking about it makes me cry so I totally get what you're saying.
+Shen Jones I feel the same way. My dad is much older than me and he always tells me "be prepared for me to die." I think he tells me this because his father died suddenly and he has never stopped grieving. What he doesn't know is I never will be prepared, no one ever really can, even if it's expected. It's so hard to have such a huge age difference with your parents because you know your time with them is shorter. But I understand your worry and fear about losing him. I cry often thinking about how fast time is going by and that I can't imagine my life without him. He is my everything, and I idolize him and look up to him more than he will ever know. Again, having older parents is a hard pill to swallow as you get older yourself. But we'll both be okay, and I'm grateful there are people like Kandee out there to remind us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Wishing you the best. Xo
Hearing your story brought back so many memories for me. I went through a similar situation when I had to clear my dad's garage and room. It was as if time froze. It took me a while to delete his voicemail from my phone too. Every now and then I would fall into a dark void. I finally found closure and acceptance last year and it was such a freeing experience. This is a heart felt video Kandee. You shared your story beautifully. Xo
My love and support to you Kandee. I remember you saying how you used to hate your nose and now you love it because it reminds you of your dad. I loved that so much. You've turned your loss into positivity for many
I can't stop crying. My dad died 5 years ago, and I remember every detail. My room is full of his stuff. Every day is the same, and people tell me that it's been to long with him gone for me to cry about it. But everyday my heart aches more and more. I miss him so much, and I don't want to be here. He was the only one I had.
I'm so sorry you went through this kandee but what a beautiful relationship you had and how great to have had a dad that was such a source of love and strength for you. Sending you hugs...
You're such a beautiful person Kandee, you're just a special one with such a beautiful heart! Sharing what you did in this video is just amazing, so much love! xx
I lost my dad in October 2007, and it still hurts so much... Once, a friend told me that when we loose our dad we enter like a special group in which only us can understand what we are feeling... I was in the hospital room when my dad died and I felt the same thing you described... God bless you and I know they are watching us from heaven... Lots of love and thank you for sharing this...
I did the chair method with my therapist and was super crazy and difficult... At the end I was sweating like crazy and crying so much but I felt super liberated afterwards... I did it a month ago, 8 and a half years after my dad died... I really recommend that to anyone that has lost a loved one...
I completely understand how you feel. :( I lost mine in January of 1992, when I was just 4. I am 29 now and I still tear up whenever I see a person who reminds me of him in looks.
I love that you posted this. My dad died young and my mom just passed a few months ago- my heart is so broken. My light is definitely dimmed like you said but I do think ive become an even better person, which breaks my heart that she cant see how Ive grown in this grief. Thank you for the sweet words and encouragement. You are always so amazing and kind hearted! I wish you nothing but continued healing and great things in your future! xx
My father dies in a car accident two months ago. I'm pregnant with my first child and the last thing my mom told my dad on the phone was that it would be a boy. It breaks my heart to know that my baby will never be able to spend time with his grandad who was waiting for him for so long. I know he is looking afterus from heaven but I can't accept that God took him away from me in the moment that should be the happiest time in my life.
My dad was an electrician. And I have this lamp on my bed side table. I remember one time I was crying so much missing him and it turned on when nobody was touching it. I knew it was my dad trying to comfort me, telling me he was there for me.
My dad passed away 4 years ago when I was 7 months pregnant. It devastated me that he would never meet her. It still does. But I CAN tell you, having her a month later was what kept me going. I had to keep moving forward for her. And YOU will! The days will get easier as you go. Take care of yourself and your baby. Hugs.
God didn't take him away sweetie :( something's just happen and God doesn't let them happen and He wants us to be happy. That's what I was thinking when my cousin died
I can't help but re-watch this video with Father's Day coming up. Sometimes it feels like no one else understands how incredibly painful and life changing it is to lose someone who meant so much. I watch this video and I don't feel alone. You are so incredibly blessed to have all of those videos of your Dad saying how much he loves you and how proud he is of you +Kandee. I wish I had saved every voicemail my precious Dad ever left me.
I remember when this happened and I felt your heartbreak from thousands of miles away. I still see that sadness in your eyes, but you do still have the sparkle. You're still the same inspiring Kandee, even more so now. Stay strong, but remember that it's ok to feel whatever you feel. I wish I had a Dad to celebrate, but that's a whole other story. Thinking of you. xoxo
My boyfriend lost his father 4 years ago and he doesn't like to talk about it, which is completely understandable. But, I never knew what was going on in his head as I have never lost someone close to me. This video has helped me so much in understanding just a fraction of how he must feel everyday. I feel like I have learned something from this and I hope I will be able to comfort him better than before. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go to everyone who has a friend in heaven
I have literally the exact same situation with my boyfriend. I'm glad we have more guidance now of understanding what it must be like to have lost a loved one. I hope this video has made you more confident in comforting your boyfriend as it has with mine. ❤️
My dad was part of my life until he and my mom split. After that I never had a dad. He is alive but to me he is a stranger. My mom backstabbed me with her ex husband. I feel anger I feel like I don't have parents to care and love :( I cried a little when I saw this vid. I felt jealous to hear you had the greatest dad. I hate the family I was put to be born in. So dis functional I'm sorry you lost a dad that you loved and in sure he adored you.
We can't pick and choose who our biological parents are. My Mom and Dad didn't raise me, my Grandparent's did. I always saw my Mom but not my Dad. I actually call my Grandpa Dad. I would see my Dad here and there but he wasn't in my life. After I had nt firstborn my Dad contacted me for the first time in years. We stayed in contact and had a relationship we'd never had before. He passed away a little over a month ago. It's hard. Love those who raised you, they're your parents. I always loved the saying that anyone can have and create a child, but it takes someone special to raise a child and actually be the Mom and Dad. Who you were raised by is your parents. They're why you're who you are today. Always remember that. I will never understand how people can walk away from their kids. Just know you're loved regardless. You shouldn't hate the family you're in. As you mature and grow as a person you'll see why the life you had is the most precious gift anyone can ever give.
Aww heads up girl you can do it happens sometimes and maybe one day not now but someday you'll make it through just pray and trust in God He will help you I believe in you heads up.❤️
+Angelica Espi If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me on here, insta, or twitter at AskThatAshley. I am a youth pastor and am always open to chat.
+Haider Younis No, never spilting apart is worst. Having to hear them yell at each other all the time in your house. Having to fake a happy family that is complety fucked. I rather have my parents split apart than together and unhappy
I'm sorry so for your loss :'( I couldn't imagine losing a parent. I'm terrified of losing my mum. I lost my brother 10 years ago so suddenly (wow, it doesn't seem that long) he died of a heart attack and the whole experience of visiting him in the hospital while he was on life support, hoping he'd make it, clinging to a false hope that he could have a heart transplant, was just the worst experience ever. Worst 11 days of my life. I'll never forget the last time I went into his room to see him, and he looked at me in a childlike way (he had brain damage) it breaks my heart even today.
Andréa Cazoul Sorry to hear about your grandma. It's hard to be strong sometime's cause when you think you are you'll have a trigger that will set you off in a puddle of tears. For me that's usually the sirens of an ambulance. Like Kandee says it does get easier. Losing a loved one is something you'll never get over though.
happybrasato Thank you. To be honest on the day he did die, I felt the same way. I were at the cafeteria having lunch with my sister, when a family member came to get us, and all he said was "come on, it's time" and I remember asking him "what do you mean, time for what?" Although I knew, I couldn't deal with it. My heart was beating out of my chest and felt like I were going to pass out. It's surprising what our bodies can survive.
As a fellow RUclipsr as well as a sister in Christ, I hope and pray for all of God's best in this world for you and Ellie, Kandee. Your spirit is so radiant & you have given me so much inspiration over the years, but I've never had more respect for you than I do right now after watching this. Your father is so proud of you as are thousands of other people you've impacted. Another great Christian song I would recommend for you is "Stronger" by Mandisa. *Hugs & Kisses*
The comfort i've found is in God and knowing i can see my sister again. Its been different on the holidays but I know God has a purpose. Heaven is our home!! I know that she didn't leave home, she went home. I love you Kandee! ❤️
iBeauty96 I really hope your dad will somehow live the rest of his life in a peaceful, gentle and surrounded-with-love, way. I don't personally know you but I lost my grandfather a few weeks ago from a brain stroke after he went through soooo many other health issues. And I know that it might not seem like much now coming from a stranger, but I do hope that somehow, call it a miracle or just God's will or luck, whatever it is, I hope your dad can have a chance of sharing more time with you. I know it is the scariest thing ever to learn that a person you love so much is going to die before what might be considered "the right time" wich ideally is when they're old and they have met our kids and have seen us graduate or get married and so many other things that they should be able to participate in. But try to think about what Kandee says: he'll always be in your heart and he will always share all those important moments with you. Try to make the most of the time that you have left. I put my mom as an example, cause she and my grandad, they never really lived together, or knew each other very well, cause her grandfather raised her and so a few months ago we learned that he was really ill so my mom started to visit him to the point where she was expected every sunday at his house. She would talk to him, help his wife to feed him, and move him, and she would call every night to know how he was, and mend sheets for him... I guess my point with this is, even if it is scary, try to live the present, live every oportunity you have to see him, to talk to him, cause once they're gone, we are the ones that have to keep on and that's what's going to help you live. The fact that you did everything in your power to make him more comfortable, happier and most of all, not lonely. From the bottom of my heart I send you all the support I can and I hope God bless your dad now and forever and gives you a lot of strength to go through this situation. :'(
iBeauty96 I am 16 and I just lost my father due to that last September. I know how scaring it is to see a parent go through that. So if you want you can contact me back because i would love to connect and maybe help be a friend and help you through this time.
My grandma has stage 4 ovarian cancer It was terminal & I lost her in August of 2014 You will get through this I did and still am but know you are never alone
My grandad had this and died in october, i was so close to him and it's such a difficult thing, but just know that when worst comes to worst he'll be out of pain. Never stop telling him how much you love him everyday & i really feel for you. Xx
Crying watching this. This makes me want to go and hug my parents soo tightly. I'm also so glad God has comforted you and that you will see him in heaven. Thank you so much for talking about God and Christianity to all your subscribers. I was recently in Seventeen Magazine and I talked about how much of an inspiration you are to me! Love you Kandee
I haven't cried so hard in a very, very long time. Half of it was happy tears for your growth and beauty you have found from such a tragic heartbreaking situation. Kandee you are truly one of the most beautiful people out there, not only obviously on the outside, but your heart and soul just amaze me. I love you so much and thank you for sharing such a touching experience with us all. You touch my heart every day and are so special to us all
Losing my parents is my biggest fear, and I hate knowing that it will happen one day, it's inevitable. I have panic attacks and nightmares about it, because they truly are incredible,and I always want them to know how much I appreciate their lessons and their love. I hope that the end is many, many years away, but this video has helped me to prepare for it a little. Thankyou, so much.
WhatLydDid I just wanted to add that if you have had an argument, please, please go and make it up. Please try never to leave the house or go to sleep on an argument. Say 'I love you' as often as you can and remind your loved ones that they are cherished, before it is too late.
I love you too! I watched this video, then clicked straight to 'IF' by Hannah Maggs. She and her husband read the poem, about a boy growing up, to their son, and it was like seeing your Dad's perspective and everything he wanted for you. It was the perfect thing to see.
thank you for being so brave, kandee. i'll be thinking of you constantly today. i still remember this time three years ago when you first told us. for some reason i could've sworn you said he died while helping someone on the road who had crashed, i don't know where i got that from. regardless, i am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. it sounds like he was a very special man and i am certain he is so so proud of you.
Oh, Kandee. You ministered to my heart. I lost my dad 16 years ago and my mom 5 years ago. I still cry...often. I miss them and want to tell them things and want them to see their grandbabies grow up. And I have a hard time letting go of the pain of missing them and the regrets I have. I need this. I needed it. Thank you.God bless you! I love you back!
I lost my dad from a sudden heart attack. He was only 47 and it's been 16 years. The pain is a little bit less, but it's still there, every day. Be strong and live your life the best way possible. Bye for now...
I got to go and say goodbye today and she was beautiful! I held her hand and told her that I'll never let her go. She's always been my princess, the one who understood me. I got to hug her mom and study my greatest friend's beautiful face. I know she's with me. I know I'll see her soon. But my heart hurts so much. So young, so beautiful... The first time we met she grabbed my hand at the end of the day and said to me: " Mandy, things will get better! I promise! A few years from now we'll have a perfect life. We are strong, you are strong. We'll make it. " and with that thought I held her hand today.. 💖 Thank you all! And I'm sending much love to those who've also lost someone. I hope you find comfort in the thought of eternal love. 🌹 Rest in peace, beautiful Angel. 13-06-2015. Gone too soon!
Thank you baby girl,I am 65 and I lost my Mom 5 yr ago ,it's so hard.I took care of her till the end.it hurts and I am still depressed.I still cry.I miss her.thanks for sharing.
July 8th will be 1 year since my grandfather passed and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I'm scared, I'm sad, I miss him, I wish he was here with me.....
It will be tough. But just remember the good memories. Talk about him. It will desensitize it a bit. I love looking at pictures of my Dad and even tell him stuff either aloud when im alone or internaly. I think of him keeping an eye on me laughing his butt off all the silly mistake I make that he would have warned me about. I can still remember his voice. He will never really leave me and I feel the love everyday.
My dad died two years ago August 27th and I'm only 13, it has been the most difficult 2 years of my life without having him here to talk to or hug him. He died in a car accident and when he left the house to go to the store I knew he wasn't coming back. I'm graduating from grade 8 and going into high school this year and I'm so scared because I now have severe anxiety and depression and your videos help me more than you will ever know Kandee, you inspire me to try my best and work hard so thank you Kandee. Love you
Maddie Snow my heart is with you! And you know your dad is with you in your heart! He's in your very DNA! You go live big and bold and make him proud! I luv u
My cousin passed away on December 31, 2015 (Yesterday/New Years Eve) due to a blood clot at the age of 15. This stuff really sucks. R.I.P I really miss you. 😔😢
Aw I'm sorry, my grandad passed away on Thursday 9th October around about 7 pm. I remember my dad coming home telling me and my sister and I couldn't cry. I went upstairs I was crying my eyes out. I'm even crying right now
I lost my father three days ago because of his drug addiction. I'm only 16 but it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. You're not alone. It's very hard to loose someone so close especially a parent...
One of my biggest fears, since i was a kid has always been the thought of losing my dad. till this day, i still pray for God's protection over him, & I'd seriously rather have my life taken away first before ever losing him. Watching this, I still have tears streaming down my face, I'm so sorry for your loss Kandee; I wish I could run up to you & give you the biggest hug! One of my friends just lost her dad recently, & I can't even express how it breaks my heart. She is such a sweetheart, & it's so amazing & beyond inspiring what a true faith in God can do. She has stayed so strong, she hasn't cursed God for having her dad leave so soon, but she has stayed giving God the honor & praise, even in such a rough time. I just tagged her to watch this, & I'm praying she feels such a loving warm embrace!
Lost my dad when i was 11. Now ten years later. It still hurts so much because i remember like it was yesterday. Your video made me cry, made me let go of all the emotions i cropped inside. Thank you
You are so strong for doing this, I broke down after the first 3 minutes and my the end I had snot flowing out of my nose and eyes like a waterfall. The end brought peace to my heart your dad seemed like a great man. His personality shines through and I can see it in you. I pray the pain on your family is eased, that your daddy is resting in peace and that you will see him at his happiest so that all of this is washed away. Remember that this life is nothing but a life of amusement and play. We are never given more than what we can cope with. One day you will see him and be with him forever for now he is in a place better than earth. Stay strong you are an inspiration.
The number of people you have helped with putting your story out there is flooring. You are such a special person. And as I have been in ministry and starting a Christian youtube channel, I point people to you and the few others like you for a loving and positive channel that truly cares about the subscribers. I love you so much, Kandee! Even though I don't know you! And I deeply wish I could chat with you and get to know your heart. Thank you for being as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.
Thank you for posting this. My cousin died 5 years ago, I was pulled out of school and my parents told me what happened and it was so heart breaking. That car ride to my aunt and uncles friends house was so hard to get past. Her funeral was beautiful. It is still really hard every year but I've gotten through. I just have to cry through it sometimes.
I lost my dad almost six months ago and it still doesn't feel real. It's weird how you see or find little things that remind us of them. And it's very true, people deal with grief differently. But hearing your story made me feel like I'm not the only one going through this. Love you!! Thanks for sharing.
Kandee, I really hope u read this... not bcuz I want ur attention, but I'd like to share with u something that's helped me with the passing of my mom... she died when I was 19, which was 9 years ago... but ya know, I don't know if we can ever FULLY get over these things... (I stopped a few mins into the video to type this, bcuz I just couldn't wait) I just want to say, that your Dad lives on through you and your beautiful spirit... The way I see it is, we are all literally made of half of our mom, half of our dad... and so, a big part of him is still very much alive in you... When you love, that's partly his spirit that gets to love. When you are sad, he feels that with u... & when u think of him with love, he can feel that warmth because he's right there. And in a way, he will always be with u in that way. Half of him, is in genes, & in ur heart. I take comfort sometimes in knowing, that my a big part of my mom will always live thru me, quite literally; and so, it may sound wierd, but to give myself a hug, its kinda like getting to hug a big part of her... just knowing that she's such a big part of me :) You are SUCH a beautiful, generous, kind, loving, giving person... and I know you're Dad must have been a wonderful human being to raise such a wonderful daughter... just giving u biiiig hugs right now... with watery eyes 😿❤💛💚💙💜
KANDEE my love! My dad died last year, a day before I gave birth to my first baby girl. As I told you when we met, you inspired me to start my you tube channel and continue to inspire me everyday. HUGE HUGS from ISRAEL! Because of you I have a career as Israel's most popular youtuber with my Hebrew channel! Ashley Waxman Bakshi
I lost my grandma almost 8 yrs ago and I still cry once in a while, but like you said it I've learned to live without her and celebrate her life... You just make me wanna love you so much! You have such a beautiful soul! Thanks!!! That's why you're just my favorite and the best there's no one like you in RUclips!
My Daddy went to Heaven 6 months ago. I remember thinking of the video you made 3 years ago, and how Heartbroken I was watching that, when I never would have thought 3 years later, I would go through the same thing. I remember knowing that if you could get through the pain, then it's possible for me to as well. You really don't know pain until you experience a loss like this, and I thank you so much for encouraging us and sharing your story. I Love You...Cheers to our Daddies in Heaven!
Thank you so much for making this video Kandee❤️ I loved the part at the end with your Dad. My Mom went to Heaven 2 weeks ago & it is so unbelievably hard! Your words helped.. I am looking forward to the day I see her again❤️God bless you!
It is so good to hear someone that is being human! I lost 2 friends in february and I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to "just move on" Thank you for sharing.
What a sweet tribute to your dad. I love the idea to celebrate dad on Father's Day and birthdays and holidays. I miss my dad every day and he's been gone 8 years. Even today when I smell vitalis I look for my dad. God bless you.
I want to watch your video.. but I just can't get myself to do it. I lost my dad a year and a half ago, unexpectedly. We had a complicated relationship, but there were many things left unsaid and lingering resentment I have towards family now to make a long story short. I will always have this guilt and pain, and I've had a hard time forgiving myself and others for the series of events that unfolded.. So I tend to block my emotions and avoid feeling anything if I'm in an okay mood that day.. because once I start crying I can't really get myself together. What makes it difficult is that no one asked me if I was okay or how I'm doing now. Either people assume I'm fine or just don't care. Either way, it really hurts. I hope one day my heart will start to mend. I have this video saved. One day, I will be able to watch it. Regardless, thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know that just by sharing your life, it's helping many others other than me.
Thank you for sharing this. Those senses you were describing, wanting to touch and smell everything. Just... yes. My mom died when I was 14 years old. I remember finding her unconscious on the couch where she was taking a nap. Still to this day I can not get that image out of my head, that's literally all I have because my memories of her are slipping. It is such a haunting image stuck in my head. I can't even remember the last thing I said to her. It's been almost a decade and I've lost the sound of her voice and her smell. My dad still has all her things in his bedroom. In the bathroom, there are still so many things of hers - a case of makeup or her curling irons. Almost 10 years and we all still haven't gotten around to doing something with them. Those lights going out, my entire family went dark the day she died. Nothing has ever been the same, nothing will ever be the same. On Mother's Day or her birthday, we all just don't talk about anything and pretty much ignore the day. I wish my family was able to overcome like you have, and be able to celebrate their memory. I can't even do it.
I know exactly how you feel I found my dad and I can’t get the flashers out of my head every day I see it it was bloody I was three hours late he had from a bulldozer and it broke his neck I can’t get a day out of my head or the place it happened I see it every day on a loop his eyes were open when I tried to close them and I couldn’t it happened two months ago Father’s Day was extremely hard and I can’t see the holidays his birthday he would’ve been 50 in January he would’ve been my parents 30th anniversary at the end of this month it seems incredibly unfair but the world is not fair we still haven’t moved his things around either and there’s also fresh but I feel like we might be standing still just like your family in the future so sorry this happened to you but I know exactly how you feelThat’s good to know that you’re not alone I love you
What a terrible tragedy. I just want to reach through the screen and give you a big hug. My dad is still on this earth, yet I haven't seen him for many years. It must feel very special to have your dad tell you how much he loves you and is proud of you. You're such a special person Kandee and I'm sure this video will touch a lot of people struggling with the loss of a loved one xx
i smell my dads shirts too, i lost him 4 years ago july. i came here to find virtual comfort and someone to relate to. I was raised by my dad and everything you said was on point. Lovely hearing you found comfort and strength in christ like i did. Love you sister and thank you.
+That one guy I try! I actually took a photo with my 89 & 78 year old grandparents today, trying to make sure I have photographs to keep forever. You expect the people who've always been there, to always be there and it just doesn't work that way sadly.
My dad passed away June 11 2013 when I was 14 years old. He had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure 6 months before that and he had a massive heart attack. Please take your health seriously everyone!
I cried and cried and cried watching this video. My fathers birthday is in two days and it has been almost 5 years since my dad past. Your words ring so true in my life. Im so sorry about your father.
Today has been 3 years since I got the last text I'd ever get from my dad. I've tried to make this video for 3 years now...and I hope it encourages someone hearing my story...thank you all for loving and supporting me, especially all of you who wrote me some of the most comforting words after my dad died.The end of this video is my very favorite...thank you all for loving me so much!
***** Love you too. Stay strong.
💗💗💗
***** Thank you for opening your heart to us & being so brave! You've got matching earrings today :) Good vibes and bear hugs!!
Emily Cheung hee hee hee my matching earrings!
***** My dear Kandee, this video was beautiful. You are just like him; such a beautiful heart. I love the ending and I love you Kandee. xoxo
I cannot believe the out-pouring of love you guys have written to my and to all the others who have posted their stories of loss! You guys are full of so much love and kindness! Thank you all for being so amazing! I feel my heart so full of your love and send you a million hugs from my heart!
***** Kandee you are a beautiful person. This video is so emotional and your admiration and love for your wonderful dad is amazing. He must be so so proud of you. Thankyou for sharing such a personal experience with us. I love you! xx
That's what you get when you're kind & loving toward others :)
***** I think I kinda needed this, I lost my Grandfather when I was 10 (I'll be 32 on Fathers Day here in the UK). He was the only Father figure I really had and in that sense I was a complete 'Daddys Girl'. I still miss him every single day even 22 years on. He was the light, laughter and joy to my heart, I remember when I was a kid and he'd take me to fairs with him where he sold glassware and I'd sit in the caravan drawing all sorts of silly things. He used to take them and put them on the table outside and get other fair goers to buy them. He always encouraged my art and nowadays I do freelance work/character design for people on Deviantart and such.
Thank you Kandee, for sharing and for being such a wonderful and sweet person.
God bless you Kandee. 🍭 This was so sweet and beautiful. 💝🙏🏼
On Sept 21, it'll be three yrs I tragically lost my little sister. So I can totally feel the pain you live with daily. The wound never heals, we just learn to live with the pain.
No I'm not crying... There's... Just... Something... In my eye 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Yeah, tears
I'm not crying, there are feels in my eyes.
My eyes are simply sweating 😭😭
+Tanvee125 I cried.That was so sad.
same
I remember watching this video earlier this year, bawling cause I was terrified of losing my dad. Well, about 3 days ago I lost him. It's been the hardest thing on me. I thought about this video and it's just nice to know other people have gone through this. I never imagined losing my dad this early in life, but I know he's in a better place. I love you Kandee. We'll see them again one day.
Praying for you honey♡😭🙏
+Elise Smith thank you.❤️😌
+Gracie Lee Vlogs so sorry to hear. visual hugs to you x
I remember when my Dad died, his cell phone still worked and I would call his phone every day, just so I could hear his voice on the Voicemail. Sad.
Aww, that is sad. Keep your head up. Xoxo
Oh my god😓😭
I had a voicemail from my mom after she passed and I would listen to it to hear her voice all the time💕
Omg I'm so sorry, that's so sad :(
I did this too. I still have it on my computer for those days I miss him terribly and just need to hear his voice
Giant hugs! I lost my dad 10 years ago and I still think of him. I'm going to save this in my cancer journey list. Found out last month that my cancer is back and I am now stage 4. I listen to you and think of my boys and hope that they can find peace like this after my body fails me. I will fight but I know what cancer is. Big hugs from me to you!
Keep fighting you are strong! I wish you the best of luck. My hopes & prayers to you! ❤️
Sending hugs your way.
Stay strong!! Sending love and prayers
Coopdizzle I wish I could give you a miracle, but the best I can do is pray. I am sending so much your way.
Thank you all. I am having a down day. My hair is falling out again. For some reason this time is more sad. I only got it 2 inches long before I had to start chemo again. I know it's small but it's one thing that shows the world I am sick. This too shall pass.
I have a knot in my throat and my eyes are so watery I want to say so much to you right now but I don't even know what I can tell you other than I love you
That's really sweet
Me to a T right now ... We love u so much mama kandee!
Me 2
Tell me about it, cannot imagine what this felt like or what they went through. May he rest in peace and may the families pain be eased.
Me two Jacky
Crying in my little corner, hoping my dad will be here forever ♥
lilxo spend time with him while he is still around....
I'm crying over here... I'm so sorry for your loss 😔 you are such a positive light every time I see you. By making this video your a positive light for those who have gone through this as well.
Desi Perkins Same over here! So much respect for you *****
Desi Perkins Thanks Desi! Sorry sorry for making your tears fall...huge hugs to you!
Kandee, this video gave me faith in a way I've never known. I was raised without religion. My parents made it clear they wanted none of that in our house, and here I am 20 years later and I've felt lost until this moment. I've lost very close friends and I never knew how to deal with it. I've never prayed before, I don't know where to start, but I've never realized that the thing I've been searching for to cling on to might just be that. I've hurt myself too many times trying to cope with pain, and I've been blurry looking for solutions, but this video has opened my eyes. It's such a beautiful concept. The idea that I'll be able to see my loved ones again one day is the most comforting thing I've ever heard. For once I feel warm, and not so dark. Thank you so much Kandee. More strength to you, I wish I could hug you.
Vitani Verci This is amazing. The power of God is so strong. GOD is LOVE. I will be praying for you that you find the right path for you. (: Your comment was very touching.
Praying that Jesus gives you a renewed joy and strength everyday! You are perfect in His eyes, and don't you ever forget that. Just keep pursuing Him and showing those around you the love of Jesus and I promise life will look more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
There is hope, in Jesus. That we who walk His walk and confess Him to be our Lord and Savior have eternal life
Vitani Verci You are so strong to have an open heart! I can absolutely relate to what you are saying regarding feeling warmth amongst darkness. That truly is the power of Jesus. I will be praying for you and rooting for you!! God bless you!
Vitani Verci I am a Christian. Sweetie all you have to do is talk to God and ask him to come into your heart. It's really simple. God loves you and he wants to come in your heart! All you have to do is ask and then go from there to live for the lord. God Bless you!
Cant imagine losing my dad.. I can feel your pain. Sending you love
LizKM losing ur father hurts I hope u never have to go though it. it was not easy I cried all the time form the time I backed out of my drive way and speed to the hospitale to be with him I didn't get pulled over either then it hit me he was gone. gone for ever
I was watching a buzzfeed video when I came across this. I'm currently going through the process of preparing my dad's funeral and it feels so horrible. But honestly, this video helped me cry out a lot of things I haven't been able to. Thank you so much for this. I've been thinking about how alone I feel, but things like this make me feel not so alone. Thank you so much.
You are loved. :) I'm very sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone so close. Thank goodness for people like Kandee who bring hope into our lives. Much love :)
Thank you for sharing your story Kandee. I've been missing my mom a lot lately (she passed away 5 years ago) and hearing your words has given me strength. Time doesn't heal really at all but it makes the pain a little more bearable. We were very close and even now it seems surreal that she is no longer here on earth.
I'm bawling seeing the end of your video. I wish I had video of my mom :(
***** I feel the same way. I lost my mom almost 3 years ago and I would do anything to have a video or even a recording of her voice. Kandee is very lucky in that sense.
Stephie, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Yes I wish I had a few little clips of mom just being her so that I could have a little piece of her with me. I kept her voice mails for a long time (when I switched phones they were lost and it was very upsetting).
***** My heart is with you so much beautiful! Your mama's love is in your very heart and DNA, every day is a change to sparkle up the world with her love that is what made you! huge hugs and so much love beautiful!!
stephie771 my heart is with you! I thought this phone was ruined, that had his videos on it, it means so much to me to have them! BUt even when I thought it was lost, I knew I had all my memories in my heart! I love you!
Kandee my dad went home to be with the Lord in July 2000. His 15 year anniversary is upon me. Believe me, you will NEVER forget what your dad sounds like, smells like or any of his personality traits. Every day I hear, see or smell something that reminds me of my dad. We are traditional Italian family, so every holiday I cook the dishes we used to cook together. Never worry about forgetting. I've also lost 2 brothers as well. I know they have all gone on to the place that had been prepared for them when they made Jesus their Lord and Savior. Life may crumble around you, but God is more than your portion and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! God bless you Landed!
Kandee* (not landed) darn autocorrect!! LOL
Oh my, your comment made me tear up! I lost my dad five years ago, and I feel the same way: I smell him, I hear his voice when he was laughing and I see his smile, when he looked at me. And I smile so big, because I feel so lucky to have him with me every day, even though he isn't here❤️ thank you so much for making me thinking about it in that way😊
TjanniHof God bless you sweetie!
Today my father went on a trip, and before he got on the plane we got on a little fight, i don't even remember why now... all i want to do is hug him now
Sending you lots of positive energy and I know that everything is gonna be okay😊🙏.
Sweetheart, everything will be fine. Sometimes we need reminders like this to show us that the arguments, no matter how big or small, we have with our parents don't matter. Your dad knows you love him. Everything will be okay.
It's like this vid was ment for u. I'm praying you get comfort 🙏 I know when my friend & grandparents passed away I thought was there anything I did wrong too, but they r in heaven where there's peace & they know our hearts & grudges don't exist when ur so safe. I've also learned I had a opportunity to become closer with family left. God bless
update: he is back and we are super good!
That's gr8t to hear😊🙌
5 years ago my mom learned she had cancer and then suddenly after going through 7 month of treatments she got an infection and passed away. I wake up sometimes wanting to tell her about my dreams but then i remember that i can't. some days i literally cannot breathe it hurts so much, but i know that she is in heaven waiting for me and that is the only comfort i have. Thank you for sharing this.
Sorry to hear about your greatest loss;( stay strong, may God bless you xx
I know your pain so much. I lost my mom to cancer. there's so many times I wanted to go see my mom and say "look mom! I got the job!" "guess what mom? I'm pregnant!" or just call her whenever another guy broke my heart and just cry to her 😢😢😢. I can't believe I'm even breathing without her. it's like when she died I mind as well had died too.
huge hugs for u! stay strong beautiful😊
Praying you have so much peace. God bless you!
My dad just died last week. I don't think I can watch this right now. But I do remember watching your videos back then and crying so much because my heart hurt so much for you. It's never easy around the anniversary I'm sure my birthday was on Thursday and it's just.. It's too hard I couldn't celebrate and I doubt I ever could.😔Sending you love 💖
I'm so sorry for your loss. I havent lost any close loved ones so I can't say I can relate but I did lose a dog that I had for 17 years and Was there when I was born. But it does get better... You will never not miss him and there will be dark days but you will get through them. 😊
My dog Soxy died when she was 15, I'd had her for most of my life so I can relate to that too. My dad had cancer so it wasn't unexpected but it doesn't make it easy. I don't think anything ever would 😔 thank you x
Rose McMaster I'm praying that God comforts you in these tough times. And happy late birthday :)
Rose McMaster :( I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to have a loved one with cancer, and still feel so crushed when their time comes. Nothing on this earth can prepare you. I hope you find strength knowing that he's watching over you every day and is with you now more than ever
Thanks you guys I appreciate it xx I did watch it and while it hurt it did help too.
Thanks for the video Kandee I'm sure it wasn't easy to make! x
I know this may seem minor compared to kandee's loss, but 2 years ago from today, I lost my dog. My beautiful dog, I've had her since the day I was born, she shared my life and I just loved her so much. I miss her so damn much. ily roxy 😔
All losses are losses. Pets are such good friends, part of our families and huge comforts to us. I can't imagine losing my fur babies. Sending love
Sabrina Barré It so awful when people trivialize the loss of a pet. It can be just as devastating as losing a human loved one. I lost my kitty about a week an a half ago. I know how it feels and I am wishing you love and strength.
I lost my dog roxy last October. She was 1 day from her 11th birthday. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I miss her so much.
Sabrina Barré Your dog's loss is not minor Sabrina. A pet is a part of the family, losing them is just as tough. Im so sorry for your loss. My dogs are my children..haha my babies...I love them so much. One of my dogs is slowly becoming old and you can tell he's slowing down..it's so sad to see..i'm going to miss him so much...he's my baby. He's a part of the family.
Jody Stevens-Curtis Oh no :( I'm praying for your baby...you must feel so scared :(
First of all, you're awesome for taking her to get treatment in the first place, others would of just put the dog down or just let them suffer.
Second, I will be praying for your baby. I hope you don;t have to make that decision of putting her down...but just remember she loves you and shes thankful for having such an amazing owner. I hope she gets through this!
The second to last clip of her dad, u can hear "if I die young" playing on his car radio. That made me cry like a baby!!
😒😕😟😢😫😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Hi Kandy! I remember when you uploaded this & I cried throughout the video & imagined this is how I will feel when my grandfather passes. He is like my one and only family member. He passed a few days ago & I find myself watching this now! Thanks so much for
Sharing your story please pray for peace for me
Oh my heArt & prayers for God's heavenly comfort will wrap you up like a comfy blanket until your heart grows a lil stronger and heals a lil more....the hurt will never go away but it will not sting as raw as it does in the first few days after someone's gone into heaven! Know that I love you and you're not alone!
I hope your dad rest in peace
+Kandee Johnson a friend of mine from school and my former family doctor passed away and I still missed them
THAT THE LIGHT OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST SHINE 4EVER IN YOUR HEART K. JONHSON
Sorry to hear it :( I lost both of my grandfathers in 1998 and 1999 respectively. My grandmother on my Mom's side passed in 2006 and the one on my Dad's in 1977, before I was even born. I hope your grandfather is being treated well by God in Heaven. I feel for you as well. :(
The ending showing your dad just made me collapse on the floor in tears. My heart is hurting for you. My dad died in April of 2014. He was never there for me as a child, and I was so hurt and mad when he died. So many questions I never got to ask. God bless you, Kandee. You're truly the perfect definition of an angel on earth. We can always make it through anything, no matter how hard it is. Thank you for being you♡
Yes exactly. I still to this day don't know how to handle his death. He did a lot of bad things to me. There's days I feel like I'm a bad person for not feeling sad that he's gone, and other days I'm angry and depressed for what he did and knowing I'll never get to ask why.
Oh Kandee, I feel all of this so much more than I could ever put into words.
It was 10 years ago when I last saw my mom.
Her last words to me will haunt me forever, I cant even say it out loud... and I am just finally starting to not cry thinking about her.
She was my absolute biggest supporter and not a day goes by that I don't wish I could speak to her and tell her about everything.
The way you lost your father was so so tragic and I am truly so so sorry that you had to go through such heartache.
It's such a hard thing to lose a parent. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
Thank you so much for sharing, it must be so hard to recount all of that.
Love you!
RawBeautyKristi I'm sending you so many hugs and so much love! My prayer is for God to wrap you up in so much love from your mama! And she is so proud of you, I'm sure! You are beautiful and full of talent and I know you're gonna live bolder and bigger for you mom! I love you goreous!
Thank you so much kandee! same for you! Your dad would be so proud of the sweet and supportive woman that you are. The heartache we have to go through here will be all worth it one day when we get to live forever with our loved ones. Love you!
RawBeautyKristi yes! yes! yes! This life is so short and temporary! Hooray for forever! I love you so much!
RawBeautyKristi 💞💕💓
***** 💟💞💗
I lost my older brother 7 years ago and I remember my dad waking me up for school and I knew something was wrong right away because mom always woke us up and I asked right away if my mom was okay and he said she was but to eat and get dressed. He left and came back later n I could see he had been crying and I knew something terrible had happened. During the night my brother was involved in an accident and it took him from us. I had seen him the day before and took the very last picture of him ever and I remember not crying once for several months and then all of a sudden spending a whole week in bed refusing to eat or even dress for the day n that whole week I cried.
You are a strong soul and I know how hard it can be. You have so much love in your life and I thank you for sharing this with us all. It means so much to so many. 💜
Sending love to you from England ❤️
So sorry for your loss
Lea Grady I'm so sorry for your loss! I remember when my dad died I didn't really cry or grieve before 5 years after he had passed away. It was denial that kept me from grieving I guess. I hope you're doing better now!
I know a dog doesn't compare to losing a parent but I'm hurting so bad right now. I just lost my boy Jack. He was the love of my life and I don't know to do with myself so I just came to watch this video. Thank you Kandee for your wisdom 💜
I lost my dad when I was just 11 years old. I found him dead on our couch. For months I didn't talk about it but I got therapy and I eventually learned that it felt good to talk about it and sharing my knowledge and hope with other people. I'm glad you're doing the same and you're such a strong and beautiful woman. I really look up to you. Thank you for sharing this story. God bless.
I would have fainted of the sight I can't bear my dad dying but he's still only under 50 so I have him for a good 60 years
Wow that's intense. Good on you for talking about this. This is not easy...
This video made me cry so hard. Everything that you talked about hit home. I haven't lost anyone since I was little and I don't remember much, but I do have depression. All of the emotions that you talked about are things I feel every day with no catalyst. Nothing happened to make me feel like this I just do, which makes it that much harder to deal with. I love Jesus and have HIm in my heart. I can't wait to be with HIm in heaven, but that's the problem. I can't wait. Fighting to live when all you want to do is go home to heaven is excruciating. I know that I can't die, but I don't know how to live. I will pray for the Lord to continue to heal your heart. Will you do the same for me? You're so wise and I would love to talk further but I know that probably won't happen. I love you Kandee! Thank you for being a light in our lives.
I will be praying for your heart to live with new Joy and fresh hope to sparkle everywhere with Gods love! Xoxo
I love you so much Kandee! Thank you!
Sarah Nystrom Thank you my sister in Christ for living and sharing your story to encourage others who struggle too. Remember, "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
I'm praying that every day God will make his escape for you evident so that you can continue to live your life for Him :)
JustPiichi Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. It's so awesome that we can share the Gospel to people we have never met through the internet! Keep seeking Him!
Kandee I just want to say Thank You. Thank you for sharing this video. I lost my Dad unexpectedly a year ago in April. It has been so hard on me. I cry a LOT, out of the blue and during special moments, like holidays or when my kids are doing something he would be so proud of, etc. The smallest things trigger memories of him. You said some very good things that I think will help me continue to get through. I also lost my Mom in 1998. Her passing wasn't so much unexpected because she was suffering from cancer, so I knew her time was limited, but it didn't make it any easier for her to pass away. She was so young (44) and didn't get to meet all of her grandchildren. It's been a really tough year for me to not have either of my parents anymore. Your video made me cry....a lot, especially when it got to the video clips at the end. I wish I had something like that of my Dad. Thank you for the hugs, sending some right back to you.
Prayers and hugs to you! Thank you for writing a piece of your story, your suffering, your heart. I read it several times and looked at your sweet face. You will be in my prayers! ~ Melody
melodyait Thank you. That is very sweet of you.
Am i the only one who cried so much about this?😩😭😭😭❤️
💔
😭
Of course not! I am having trouble keeping my tears in check myself. :(
I connected with your story so deeply, Kandee. My dad died three years ago in April. He was in liver failure and he had suffered internal bleeding. I talked to him on a rainy Sunday morning and he told me not to worry about him, to go to the baby shower I was supposed to be at and I could visit him the next day. Not even an hour later, a doctor called me and told me "Your father is a very sick man. You need to come to the hosptial."
When I got there, he was still conscious. When I walked in and saw the containers of blood they had pumped from his stomach, I lost it. He hugged me and said "Nobody makes it out of here alive, my love." That's what he called me from the day that I was born, "my love." It was only a couple minutes after that that they took him in for surgery. He was cracking jokes and making the nurses laugh the whole time. When they brought him back an hour or so later, he was heavily sedated and on a ventilator. They wanted to keep the vent in for a day or so because he was having asophageal aneurysms and they didn't want to keep irritating his throat.
By Tuesday they tried taking him off the ventilator. During the process, he began seizing. He suffered swelling of the brain that caused extensive damage. I was his only child and he wasn't married, so the decision was mine. After giving him a few days to come back and not having any success, I met with palliative care. They told me he almost definitely wouldn't wake up. If he did, he might recognize me but never be able to say my name. He could be conscious but trapped in his mind. A prisoner in his own body. At 20 years old, I made the decision to remove my best friend from life support.
That loss left me paralyzed with grief. I wasn't living, I was going through the motions. I would go right into hysterics without any trigger. I felt like I had been dropped into the middle of the ocean and every time I thrashed to the surface, a wave would crash down and I would plummet again and again and again.
I searched for a video like yours, Kandee. I just wanted to know someone felt the way I did. It took me over two years to feel okay again because I kept burying my emotions. Even though it's been so long, I just want you to know that your video truly comforted me. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand it completely. My Dad smelled like leather, tobacco and Irish Springs soap. He liked making people smile. He was rough and tough, but he used to grow his hair out and donate it to foundations that made wigs for cancer patients after his sister died from lung cancer. He was one of a kind. It sounds like your dad was too. ♡♡
my father passed because of an illness as well this past April. you're amazingly strong. ❤️
Savannah Shaye I am so so so sorry for your loss! What a truly awful thing to have gone through a such a young age. I am so relieved to know you are making it out and continuing to push on. You're inspiring.
Thank you both ♡ I was in college at the time and I pushed forward and got my associates degree in Elementary Education. Sadly, my mom got really sick before I could start on my bachelor's and I've been taking care of her (driving her to appointments, cooking, helping with my sister) for the last couple of years now. As crazy as this sounds, I feel so lucky to be able to spend so much time with my mom after the loss of my dad even though the circumstances are unfortunate. I just want anyone who is experiencing a loss or a difficult time who may read this to know that I am so much better today. Time helps, even though you'll always miss your loved one. I miss my dad terribly, but I've made room for the loss in my life. It's a part of me, but it doesn't define me.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry
Kandy, thank you for doing this. My heart goes out to you. I really needed this because my Dad just passed away a little over 3 weeks ago. The pain is so intense - this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I feel broken. Sending you big hugs.
❤
I lost my mom 3 weeks ago....I feel your pain. I keep wondering if it will ever get better or if this lump that has taken up residence in my throat will always be here. At least her video can give us hope it will get better.
Laurie Nash oh I know....my heart is with you beautiful! I love you!
I love you, too, Kandee (sorry for the auto correct typo with your name in my previous comment). You taking the time to reply to me means so much. I am so thankful that I found you on RUclips last year and for all of your positivity and love you share with everyone.
***** it's OK let all out: ( we all understand I've lost a love one also this one of the best video in the whole wide world ❤😢💙
I started crying after the first four minutes and couldn't stop anymore by hearing your story. I lost my dad almost 5 years ago and I miss him a lot. He wasn't there when I graduated and yeah.. Your story brings back so many memories yet you make me smile and see the good things in life, even without him. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Love you Kandee. Much love from Holland.
Love from England to you ❤️
***** thank you.
I just have to ask who the F*** thumbs downed this video? What a sad story and how awesome is she to share it with us! Thank you Kandee for being so open and genuine. Your Dad is most definitely bragging about you over the nightly banquets up there in heaven.
This was so hard for me to watch, because my dad is my best friend and I could never image losing him. I would probably go insane or something. I'm so sorry for your loss, I love you and you are so crazy brave for sharing your story!!!! Your videos are amazing, and you're the reason I got into wearing makeup. People always compliment me on how well I apply my makeup, and it gives me so much confidence. I have started doing other people's makeup, and I love it when they feel beautiful as well. So thank you for making me feel beautiful and good about myself!!!❤️😊
It scares me so badly.
I feel ya girl..
It scares me so much too! I would literally be so lost without him, like I can't even think about losing hi without tearing up
My dad is getting older (he's 70 and I'm 20) and I'm so scared of him dying, because he talks about it sometimes and I love him to death. He's my best friend and my mentor and I can't imagine being happy without him :c just thinking about it makes me cry so I totally get what you're saying.
+Shen Jones I feel the same way. My dad is much older than me and he always tells me "be prepared for me to die." I think he tells me this because his father died suddenly and he has never stopped grieving. What he doesn't know is I never will be prepared, no one ever really can, even if it's expected. It's so hard to have such a huge age difference with your parents because you know your time with them is shorter. But I understand your worry and fear about losing him. I cry often thinking about how fast time is going by and that I can't imagine my life without him. He is my everything, and I idolize him and look up to him more than he will ever know.
Again, having older parents is a hard pill to swallow as you get older yourself. But we'll both be okay, and I'm grateful there are people like Kandee out there to remind us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Wishing you the best. Xo
Hearing your story brought back so many memories for me. I went through a similar situation when I had to clear my dad's garage and room. It was as if time froze. It took me a while to delete his voicemail from my phone too. Every now and then I would fall into a dark void. I finally found closure and acceptance last year and it was such a freeing experience. This is a heart felt video Kandee. You shared your story beautifully. Xo
Ann Le {Anneorshine} thanks Ann! xoxo
My love and support to you Kandee. I remember you saying how you used to hate your nose and now you love it because it reminds you of your dad. I loved that so much. You've turned your loss into positivity for many
Instagamrr God.. I cried through this whole thing
Instagamrr I hope my hurt can comfort anyone else who has hurt the same way! And I love my dad's nose!
I can't stop crying. My dad died 5 years ago, and I remember every detail. My room is full of his stuff. Every day is the same, and people tell me that it's been to long with him gone for me to cry about it. But everyday my heart aches more and more. I miss him so much, and I don't want to be here. He was the only one I had.
I had my dad for 11years. He was a great dad i miss him every day. : (
I'm so sorry you went through this kandee but what a beautiful relationship you had and how great to have had a dad that was such a source of love and strength for you. Sending you hugs...
alittleaboutalot I heart you!
You're such a beautiful person Kandee, you're just a special one with such a beautiful heart! Sharing what you did in this video is just amazing, so much love! xx
DYNA 💋 Drugstore RUclips Beauty Guru thank you hugs beautiful!
I lost my dad in October 2007, and it still hurts so much... Once, a friend told me that when we loose our dad we enter like a special group in which only us can understand what we are feeling... I was in the hospital room when my dad died and I felt the same thing you described... God bless you and I know they are watching us from heaven... Lots of love and thank you for sharing this...
I did the chair method with my therapist and was super crazy and difficult... At the end I was sweating like crazy and crying so much but I felt super liberated afterwards... I did it a month ago, 8 and a half years after my dad died... I really recommend that to anyone that has lost a loved one...
I completely understand how you feel. :( I lost mine in January of 1992, when I was just 4. I am 29 now and I still tear up whenever I see a person who reminds me of him in looks.
I love you.. I'm sure this video will help so many people going through the same thing..
Gianna Gi Knowing that you are a Christian like me warms my heart..
I love that you posted this. My dad died young and my mom just passed a few months ago- my heart is so broken. My light is definitely dimmed like you said but I do think ive become an even better person, which breaks my heart that she cant see how Ive grown in this grief. Thank you for the sweet words and encouragement. You are always so amazing and kind hearted! I wish you nothing but continued healing and great things in your future! xx
I can so relate.
djbrec So sorry to hear. Your mum and dad would be so proud of the wonderful person you so obviously are xx
💕💕💕
My father dies in a car accident two months ago. I'm pregnant with my first child and the last thing my mom told my dad on the phone was that it would be a boy. It breaks my heart to know that my baby will never be able to spend time with his grandad who was waiting for him for so long. I know he is looking afterus from heaven but I can't accept that God took him away from me in the moment that should be the happiest time in my life.
My dad was an electrician. And I have this lamp on my bed side table. I remember one time I was crying so much missing him and it turned on when nobody was touching it. I knew it was my dad trying to comfort me, telling me he was there for me.
My dad passed away 4 years ago when I was 7 months pregnant. It devastated me that he would never meet her. It still does. But I CAN tell you, having her a month later was what kept me going. I had to keep moving forward for her. And YOU will! The days will get easier as you go. Take care of yourself and your baby. Hugs.
God didn't take him away sweetie :( something's just happen and God doesn't let them happen and He wants us to be happy. That's what I was thinking when my cousin died
I can't help but re-watch this video with Father's Day coming up. Sometimes it feels like no one else understands how incredibly painful and life changing it is to lose someone who meant so much. I watch this video and I don't feel alone. You are so incredibly blessed to have all of those videos of your Dad saying how much he loves you and how proud he is of you +Kandee. I wish I had saved every voicemail my precious Dad ever left me.
I remember when this happened and I felt your heartbreak from thousands of miles away. I still see that sadness in your eyes, but you do still have the sparkle. You're still the same inspiring Kandee, even more so now. Stay strong, but remember that it's ok to feel whatever you feel. I wish I had a Dad to celebrate, but that's a whole other story. Thinking of you. xoxo
Laura Walker I love you so so much!
I cried through the whole video... You are such a wonderful woman.
My boyfriend lost his father 4 years ago and he doesn't like to talk about it, which is completely understandable. But, I never knew what was going on in his head as I have never lost someone close to me. This video has helped me so much in understanding just a fraction of how he must feel everyday. I feel like I have learned something from this and I hope I will be able to comfort him better than before. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go to everyone who has a friend in heaven
I have literally the exact same situation with my boyfriend. I'm glad we have more guidance now of understanding what it must be like to have lost a loved one. I hope this video has made you more confident in comforting your boyfriend as it has with mine. ❤️
My dad was part of my life until he and my mom split.
After that I never had a dad.
He is alive but to me he is a stranger.
My mom backstabbed me with her ex husband.
I feel anger
I feel like I don't have parents to care and love :(
I cried a little when I saw this vid.
I felt jealous to hear you had the greatest dad.
I hate the family I was put to be born in. So dis functional
I'm sorry you lost a dad that you loved and in sure he adored you.
We can't pick and choose who our biological parents are. My Mom and Dad didn't raise me, my Grandparent's did. I always saw my Mom but not my Dad. I actually call my Grandpa Dad. I would see my Dad here and there but he wasn't in my life. After I had nt firstborn my Dad contacted me for the first time in years. We stayed in contact and had a relationship we'd never had before. He passed away a little over a month ago. It's hard. Love those who raised you, they're your parents. I always loved the saying that anyone can have and create a child, but it takes someone special to raise a child and actually be the Mom and Dad. Who you were raised by is your parents. They're why you're who you are today. Always remember that. I will never understand how people can walk away from their kids. Just know you're loved regardless. You shouldn't hate the family you're in. As you mature and grow as a person you'll see why the life you had is the most precious gift anyone can ever give.
Aww heads up girl you can do it happens sometimes and maybe one day not now but someday you'll make it through just pray and trust in God He will help you I believe in you heads up.❤️
The why people should learn to never split apart
+Angelica Espi If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me on here, insta, or twitter at AskThatAshley. I am a youth pastor and am always open to chat.
+Haider Younis No, never spilting apart is worst. Having to hear them yell at each other all the time in your house. Having to fake a happy family that is complety fucked. I rather have my parents split apart than together and unhappy
I'm sorry so for your loss :'( I couldn't imagine losing a parent. I'm terrified of losing my mum. I lost my brother 10 years ago so suddenly (wow, it doesn't seem that long) he died of a heart attack and the whole experience of visiting him in the hospital while he was on life support, hoping he'd make it, clinging to a false hope that he could have a heart transplant, was just the worst experience ever. Worst 11 days of my life. I'll never forget the last time I went into his room to see him, and he looked at me in a childlike way (he had brain damage) it breaks my heart even today.
OMG I'm so sorry,if something appen to my brother I wouldn't survive for sure.my heart wouldn't survive
Andréa Cazoul Sorry to hear about your grandma. It's hard to be strong sometime's cause when you think you are you'll have a trigger that will set you off in a puddle of tears. For me that's usually the sirens of an ambulance. Like Kandee says it does get easier. Losing a loved one is something you'll never get over though.
happybrasato Thank you. To be honest on the day he did die, I felt the same way. I were at the cafeteria having lunch with my sister, when a family member came to get us, and all he said was "come on, it's time" and I remember asking him "what do you mean, time for what?" Although I knew, I couldn't deal with it. My heart was beating out of my chest and felt like I were going to pass out. It's surprising what our bodies can survive.
I can't imagine going through that. It makes me emotional.
Andréa Cazoul Very true.
As a fellow RUclipsr as well as a sister in Christ, I hope and pray for all of God's best in this world for you and Ellie, Kandee. Your spirit is so radiant & you have given me so much inspiration over the years, but I've never had more respect for you than I do right now after watching this. Your father is so proud of you as are thousands of other people you've impacted. Another great Christian song I would recommend for you is "Stronger" by Mandisa. *Hugs & Kisses*
You are so sweet i am praying for Kandee too
This was the best 23 minutes I've spent in a looooong time. Thank you
The comfort i've found is in God and knowing i can see my sister again. Its been different on the holidays but I know God has a purpose. Heaven is our home!! I know that she didn't leave home, she went home. I love you Kandee! ❤️
my dad has stage three pancreatic cancer, which is terminal
i don't want to lose my dad
im so scared
iBeauty96 I really hope your dad will somehow live the rest of his life in a peaceful, gentle and surrounded-with-love, way. I don't personally know you but I lost my grandfather a few weeks ago from a brain stroke after he went through soooo many other health issues. And I know that it might not seem like much now coming from a stranger, but I do hope that somehow, call it a miracle or just God's will or luck, whatever it is, I hope your dad can have a chance of sharing more time with you. I know it is the scariest thing ever to learn that a person you love so much is going to die before what might be considered "the right time" wich ideally is when they're old and they have met our kids and have seen us graduate or get married and so many other things that they should be able to participate in. But try to think about what Kandee says: he'll always be in your heart and he will always share all those important moments with you. Try to make the most of the time that you have left. I put my mom as an example, cause she and my grandad, they never really lived together, or knew each other very well, cause her grandfather raised her and so a few months ago we learned that he was really ill so my mom started to visit him to the point where she was expected every sunday at his house. She would talk to him, help his wife to feed him, and move him, and she would call every night to know how he was, and mend sheets for him... I guess my point with this is, even if it is scary, try to live the present, live every oportunity you have to see him, to talk to him, cause once they're gone, we are the ones that have to keep on and that's what's going to help you live. The fact that you did everything in your power to make him more comfortable, happier and most of all, not lonely. From the bottom of my heart I send you all the support I can and I hope God bless your dad now and forever and gives you a lot of strength to go through this situation. :'(
iBeauty96 I am 16 and I just lost my father due to that last September. I know how scaring it is to see a parent go through that. So if you want you can contact me back because i would love to connect and maybe help be a friend and help you through this time.
My grandmother had pancreatic cancer. It will get better, stay strong beautiful ❤️
My grandma has stage 4 ovarian cancer
It was terminal & I lost her in August of 2014
You will get through this
I did and still am but know you are never alone
My grandad had this and died in october, i was so close to him and it's such a difficult thing, but just know that when worst comes to worst he'll be out of pain. Never stop telling him how much you love him everyday & i really feel for you. Xx
You are an angel, your dad must be proud God sent an angel to earth to give love on youtube :)
Crying watching this. This makes me want to go and hug my parents soo tightly.
I'm also so glad God has comforted you and that you will see him in heaven.
Thank you so much for talking about God and Christianity to all your subscribers.
I was recently in Seventeen Magazine and I talked about how much of an inspiration you are to me! Love you Kandee
Tbh if I was your dad I would be the proudest person, you are so inspirational, iloveu xxx
I haven't cried so hard in a very, very long time. Half of it was happy tears for your growth and beauty you have found from such a tragic heartbreaking situation. Kandee you are truly one of the most beautiful people out there, not only obviously on the outside, but your heart and soul just amaze me. I love you so much and thank you for sharing such a touching experience with us all. You touch my heart every day and are so special to us all
Losing my parents is my biggest fear, and I hate knowing that it will happen one day, it's inevitable. I have panic attacks and nightmares about it, because they truly are incredible,and I always want them to know how much I appreciate their lessons and their love. I hope that the end is many, many years away, but this video has helped me to prepare for it a little. Thankyou, so much.
WhatLydDid I just wanted to add that if you have had an argument, please, please go and make it up. Please try never to leave the house or go to sleep on an argument. Say 'I love you' as often as you can and remind your loved ones that they are cherished, before it is too late.
WhatLydDid yes! Just know I love you!
I love you too! I watched this video, then clicked straight to 'IF' by Hannah Maggs. She and her husband read the poem, about a boy growing up, to their son, and it was like seeing your Dad's perspective and everything he wanted for you. It was the perfect thing to see.
thank you for being so brave, kandee. i'll be thinking of you constantly today. i still remember this time three years ago when you first told us. for some reason i could've sworn you said he died while helping someone on the road who had crashed, i don't know where i got that from. regardless, i am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. it sounds like he was a very special man and i am certain he is so so proud of you.
Molly Sullivan he was very amazing! No, he was helping someone who was moving...and then he moved to heaven! xoxoxo
Oh, Kandee. You ministered to my heart. I lost my dad 16 years ago and my mom 5 years ago. I still cry...often. I miss them and want to tell them things and want them to see their grandbabies grow up. And I have a hard time letting go of the pain of missing them and the regrets I have. I need this. I needed it. Thank you.God bless you! I love you back!
Your dad was so lucky to have such a sweet and appreciative daughter like you 💞.
I lost my dad from a sudden heart attack. He was only 47 and it's been 16 years. The pain is a little bit less, but it's still there, every day. Be strong and live your life the best way possible. Bye for now...
AnotherMakeupWorld oh my heart is with you!
I lost my dad from a sudden heart attack too 5years ago. He was 2 months shy of his 48th birthday
Andrea Joy :(
I just lost a longtime friend today.. My heart is hurting so much, but thank you for posting this. I love you, Kandee. 💖😭😭😭
I'm so sorry...
I'm so sorry . I lost my sister a week ago I know it's hard but it gets better
memoriesarelove oh my heart is with you so much! Im praying God to comfort your heart from heaven!
Dolan twins af Blessings
I got to go and say goodbye today and she was beautiful! I held her hand and told her that I'll never let her go. She's always been my princess, the one who understood me. I got to hug her mom and study my greatest friend's beautiful face. I know she's with me. I know I'll see her soon. But my heart hurts so much. So young, so beautiful... The first time we met she grabbed my hand at the end of the day and said to me: " Mandy, things will get better! I promise! A few years from now we'll have a perfect life. We are strong, you are strong. We'll make it. " and with that thought I held her hand today.. 💖 Thank you all! And I'm sending much love to those who've also lost someone. I hope you find comfort in the thought of eternal love. 🌹 Rest in peace, beautiful Angel. 13-06-2015. Gone too soon!
Thank you baby girl,I am 65 and I lost my Mom 5 yr ago ,it's so hard.I took care of her till the end.it hurts and I am still depressed.I still cry.I miss her.thanks for sharing.
I'm sorry for your loss Kandee. I lost my great grandma but I know that that's not as close as your dad.
July 8th will be 1 year since my grandfather passed and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I'm scared, I'm sad, I miss him, I wish he was here with me.....
It will be tough. But just remember the good memories. Talk about him. It will desensitize it a bit. I love looking at pictures of my Dad and even tell him stuff either aloud when im alone or internaly. I think of him keeping an eye on me laughing his butt off all the silly mistake I make that he would have warned me about. I can still remember his voice. He will never really leave me and I feel the love everyday.
My dad died two years ago August 27th and I'm only 13, it has been the most difficult 2 years of my life without having him here to talk to or hug him. He died in a car accident and when he left the house to go to the store I knew he wasn't coming back. I'm graduating from grade 8 and going into high school this year and I'm so scared because I now have severe anxiety and depression and your videos help me more than you will ever know Kandee, you inspire me to try my best and work hard so thank you Kandee. Love you
Good luck. Remember everything Kandee said. I know you don't know me but I'm reading all the comments and I saw yours and I wish I could give you hug.
Big hugs to you also we all unite in our pain by healing it with our kind thoughts and words xxx
Maddie Snow my heart is with you! And you know your dad is with you in your heart!
He's in your very DNA! You go live big and bold and make him proud! I luv u
My cousin passed away on December 31, 2015 (Yesterday/New Years Eve) due to a blood clot at the age of 15. This stuff really sucks. R.I.P I really miss you. 😔😢
Aw I'm sorry, my grandad passed away on Thursday 9th October around about 7 pm. I remember my dad coming home telling me and my sister and I couldn't cry. I went upstairs I was crying my eyes out. I'm even crying right now
I'm so sorry for your loss! You are a strong woman!
Emily Olson thank you so very much
I lost my father three days ago because of his drug addiction. I'm only 16 but it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. You're not alone. It's very hard to loose someone so close especially a parent...
Hi Alyssa :) I just wanted to say..Sorry for your loss. You will get through these hard times. Sending you my love and condolences
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry💕 God loves you so very much☺️ God bless!
💜💜💜
One of my biggest fears, since i was a kid has always been the thought of losing my dad. till this day, i still pray for God's protection over him, & I'd seriously rather have my life taken away first before ever losing him. Watching this, I still have tears streaming down my face, I'm so sorry for your loss Kandee; I wish I could run up to you & give you the biggest hug! One of my friends just lost her dad recently, & I can't even express how it breaks my heart. She is such a sweetheart, & it's so amazing & beyond inspiring what a true faith in God can do. She has stayed so strong, she hasn't cursed God for having her dad leave so soon, but she has stayed giving God the honor & praise, even in such a rough time. I just tagged her to watch this, & I'm praying she feels such a loving warm embrace!
Lost my dad when i was 11. Now ten years later. It still hurts so much because i remember like it was yesterday. Your video made me cry, made me let go of all the emotions i cropped inside. Thank you
You are so strong for doing this, I broke down after the first 3 minutes and my the end I had snot flowing out of my nose and eyes like a waterfall. The end brought peace to my heart your dad seemed like a great man. His personality shines through and I can see it in you.
I pray the pain on your family is eased, that your daddy is resting in peace and that you will see him at his happiest so that all of this is washed away. Remember that this life is nothing but a life of amusement and play. We are never given more than what we can cope with. One day you will see him and be with him forever for now he is in a place better than earth.
Stay strong you are an inspiration.
The number of people you have helped with putting your story out there is flooring. You are such a special person. And as I have been in ministry and starting a Christian youtube channel, I point people to you and the few others like you for a loving and positive channel that truly cares about the subscribers. I love you so much, Kandee! Even though I don't know you! And I deeply wish I could chat with you and get to know your heart. Thank you for being as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.
Thank you for posting this. My cousin died 5 years ago, I was pulled out of school and my parents told me what happened and it was so heart breaking. That car ride to my aunt and uncles friends house was so hard to get past. Her funeral was beautiful. It is still really hard every year but I've gotten through. I just have to cry through it sometimes.
And I am a Christian I really hope my cousin accepted Jesus
I lost my dad almost six months ago and it still doesn't feel real. It's weird how you see or find little things that remind us of them. And it's very true, people deal with grief differently. But hearing your story made me feel like I'm not the only one going through this. Love you!! Thanks for sharing.
You are such an inspirational and strong woman. Keep it up Kandee!
Kandee, I really hope u read this... not bcuz I want ur attention, but I'd like to share with u something that's helped me with the passing of my mom... she died when I was 19, which was 9 years ago... but ya know, I don't know if we can ever FULLY get over these things...
(I stopped a few mins into the video to type this, bcuz I just couldn't wait)
I just want to say, that your Dad lives on through you and your beautiful spirit... The way I see it is, we are all literally made of half of our mom, half of our dad... and so, a big part of him is still very much alive in you... When you love, that's partly his spirit that gets to love. When you are sad, he feels that with u... & when u think of him with love, he can feel that warmth because he's right there. And in a way, he will always be with u in that way. Half of him, is in genes, & in ur heart. I take comfort sometimes in knowing, that my a big part of my mom will always live thru me, quite literally; and so, it may sound wierd, but to give myself a hug, its kinda like getting to hug a big part of her... just knowing that she's such a big part of me :)
You are SUCH a beautiful, generous, kind, loving, giving person... and I know you're Dad must have been a wonderful human being to raise such a wonderful daughter... just giving u biiiig hugs right now... with watery eyes 😿❤💛💚💙💜
beccawecca916 yes! I love each word you wrote! I love you so much!!!
beccawecca916 thank you so very much for writing this to me!
KANDEE my love! My dad died last year, a day before I gave birth to my first baby girl. As I told you when we met, you inspired me to start my you tube channel and continue to inspire me everyday. HUGE HUGS from ISRAEL! Because of you I have a career as Israel's most popular youtuber with my Hebrew channel! Ashley Waxman Bakshi
GirlAbroad I remember hugging you!!! I am so proud of you and I know your dad is too! Hugs to you beautiuful! We will live bold for our dads!! xoxo
I lost my grandma almost 8 yrs ago and I still cry once in a while, but like you said it I've learned to live without her and celebrate her life... You just make me wanna love you so much! You have such a beautiful soul! Thanks!!! That's why you're just my favorite and the best there's no one like you in RUclips!
I honestly don't know how you were able to make this video... I was balling my eyes out throughout the entire video idky
My Daddy went to Heaven 6 months ago. I remember thinking of the video you made 3 years ago, and how Heartbroken I was watching that, when I never would have thought 3 years later, I would go through the same thing. I remember knowing that if you could get through the pain, then it's possible for me to as well. You really don't know pain until you experience a loss like this, and I thank you so much for encouraging us and sharing your story. I Love You...Cheers to our Daddies in Heaven!
Thank you so much for making this video Kandee❤️ I loved the part at the end with your Dad. My Mom went to Heaven 2 weeks ago & it is so unbelievably hard! Your words helped.. I am looking forward to the day I see her again❤️God bless you!
I have never cried so much! You are so strong! 😢😰
It is so good to hear someone that is being human! I lost 2 friends in february and I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to "just move on" Thank you for sharing.
OMG the last minute of the video.....bless him.....such a lovely guy xxxx
you're a very beautiful person, so glad i found your channel
What a sweet tribute to your dad. I love the idea to celebrate dad on Father's Day and birthdays and holidays. I miss my dad every day and he's been gone 8 years. Even today when I smell vitalis I look for my dad. God bless you.
I want to watch your video.. but I just can't get myself to do it. I lost my dad a year and a half ago, unexpectedly. We had a complicated relationship, but there were many things left unsaid and lingering resentment I have towards family now to make a long story short. I will always have this guilt and pain, and I've had a hard time forgiving myself and others for the series of events that unfolded.. So I tend to block my emotions and avoid feeling anything if I'm in an okay mood that day.. because once I start crying I can't really get myself together. What makes it difficult is that no one asked me if I was okay or how I'm doing now. Either people assume I'm fine or just don't care. Either way, it really hurts. I hope one day my heart will start to mend. I have this video saved. One day, I will be able to watch it. Regardless, thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know that just by sharing your life, it's helping many others other than me.
Thank you for sharing this. Those senses you were describing, wanting to touch and smell everything. Just... yes. My mom died when I was 14 years old. I remember finding her unconscious on the couch where she was taking a nap. Still to this day I can not get that image out of my head, that's literally all I have because my memories of her are slipping. It is such a haunting image stuck in my head.
I can't even remember the last thing I said to her. It's been almost a decade and I've lost the sound of her voice and her smell. My dad still has all her things in his bedroom. In the bathroom, there are still so many things of hers - a case of makeup or her curling irons. Almost 10 years and we all still haven't gotten around to doing something with them.
Those lights going out, my entire family went dark the day she died. Nothing has ever been the same, nothing will ever be the same. On Mother's Day or her birthday, we all just don't talk about anything and pretty much ignore the day. I wish my family was able to overcome like you have, and be able to celebrate their memory. I can't even do it.
I know exactly how you feel I found my dad and I can’t get the flashers out of my head every day I see it it was bloody I was three hours late he had from a bulldozer and it broke his neck I can’t get a day out of my head or the place it happened I see it every day on a loop his eyes were open when I tried to close them and I couldn’t it happened two months ago Father’s Day was extremely hard and I can’t see the holidays his birthday he would’ve been 50 in January he would’ve been my parents 30th anniversary at the end of this month it seems incredibly unfair but the world is not fair we still haven’t moved his things around either and there’s also fresh but I feel like we might be standing still just like your family in the future so sorry this happened to you but I know exactly how you feelThat’s good to know that you’re not alone I love you
That ending made me so sad, you're strong to share your story, much love.
What a terrible tragedy. I just want to reach through the screen and give you a big hug. My dad is still on this earth, yet I haven't seen him for many years. It must feel very special to have your dad tell you how much he loves you and is proud of you. You're such a special person Kandee and I'm sure this video will touch a lot of people struggling with the loss of a loved one xx
I love you lots Kandee. Sending you a big hug
Love you Kandee
***** I luv u
This was very brave and I know it will help thousands of people. Hugs Kandee, you're an inspiration xoxo
i smell my dads shirts too, i lost him 4 years ago july. i came here to find virtual comfort and someone to relate to. I was raised by my dad and everything you said was on point. Lovely hearing you found comfort and strength in christ like i did. Love you sister and thank you.
Feeling super lucky to still have my parents and loved ones in my life. I'm sorry for your loss.
+Lucy Davies Spend as much time with them as possible.
+That one guy I try! I actually took a photo with my 89 & 78 year old grandparents today, trying to make sure I have photographs to keep forever. You expect the people who've always been there, to always be there and it just doesn't work that way sadly.
This was so brave Kandee! I'm so sorry for your loss
I lost my uncle in 2013 and whenever I walk in to his old bedroom, I still smell him somehow..
***** hugs to you for your Uncle!
***** Thank you so so much Kandee!
My dad passed away June 11 2013 when I was 14 years old. He had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure 6 months before that and he had a massive heart attack.
Please take your health seriously everyone!
I cried and cried and cried watching this video. My fathers birthday is in two days and it has been almost 5 years since my dad past. Your words ring so true in my life. Im so sorry about your father.