Top posts from r/Cursedcomments on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below. Editor ► / jackbontatibus Narrator ► / damienleevoice
1:20 According to Google, it would take 1 day, 18 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds for the world's fastest autoclicker to completely annihilate all of humanity.
"'Forbidden Bath Bomb' Mmhmmm exclusive one time use" A-aren't all bath bombs one time use? 6/21 Why the hell is this comment still getting traction I said this a year ago
Damien: *Pretty much just grunts instead of moaning in that one meme* Damien, two seconds later: *Gives an entire paragraph about why he won't contribute to the meme* 7:26 btw
One friend at my school once said, "What if humans laid giant eggs? Like instead of the child breaking the shell you'd have to know when to break it" so I replied with "What if you had to open up animals so they give birth like humans?"
(What) but cold outside (I have to go.) But outside the boy is cold. (Mary) I love you from the inside out (Pause) then hold it in your hand, it will be like ice (I start with a worried mother) You are rude (The boy goes to the floor.) Look at the claim. (I'm sure.) Please (Yes, he only drank half) Going to school, some notes (Thinks Neighbor) This oil is not good (Enter the line.) There is no taxi. (I want to know how) The eyes now look like stars (Recorded later) I took off my hat and wrist (Le-le-le, Pa) Isma (About the best I ever wanted) Why am I so proud? (Command cannot be turned off 1) cannot be used [But] cold, cold outside (I go away) Yes, it's cold outside (No answer) Hi, calm down (Thank you) Have fun (Too hot, your V) Look out the window during a storm (My sister is still coming back.) She is so amazing! (Brother is at the door) You want to enter the tropical ocean (The bride is ugly and beautiful.) Her lips are beautiful. (In another tree) And plant grass (I have to go.) But boy, are you cold or not? (Say, bring me a coat) (Good) I love you because you touch me; (But you can't see) What can you do? (With respect) His future of all the people in my life (And many other side effects) if you die of pneumonia (1 I can not stop) It is too late to escape this problem [Seims] NWA, Kal [But] cold, cold outside
3:48 i know for a fact that more than one person has contemplated how to kill me c: jokes on them i'm still alive and the only one who can kill me is me
0:26 The woman known for having the most children was a Russian woman who had 69 children. Sixteen (16) pairs of twins, seven (7) sets of triplets, and four (4) sets of quadruplets. Nice.
She had a fun time Ohh wait nevermind she had to give birth 69 times, I take it back, she had a GODDANN WONDERFUL TIME, it wasnt fun, no my friend, IT WAS EXCITING AND AMAZING, I would love to go into labor and give birth 69 times, the only bad part is I'm not dying but it would feel like it.
*walks into school with mp5* "ARE YA READY KIDS?" "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" *starts shooting* "I CAN'T HEAR YOU" *proceeds to shoot up school while singing spongebob theme song* I'm sorry please don't hurt me
AYE AYE CAPTAIN Aye-aye captain!Ohhhhhh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! SpongeBob SquarePants!If nautical nonsense be something you wish... SpongeBob SquarePants! Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish! SpongeBob Squarepants! Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob... Square pantssssssssssssssss
4:30 *damien dies* *scooby-doo gang comes* Fred: lets split up gang *everyone splits and he is alone* Damiens body: Im ready freddy. *damien wheeze insert here* Plz notice me damien-chan
12:31 "Hello. I'm an art student/character designer from the Philippines," Me also art student and from Philippines: Ay, meron pala fan rin kay emkay galing sa philippines. 🙂
I don’t know why I want to say this but ima tell u the weirdest dream I ever had So I was at i beach in this dream and i step in the ocean and a shark comes out of nowhere and wants me to pet him........ Yeah..
Jasper □5□: *Grabs Jasper ○6○'s favorite wine bottle* Yes my favorite thing to screw, a wine bottle. Jasper ○6○: Hey □5□ what are you doing with my favorite wine bottle? Jasper □5□: I'm gonna F*ck it. Jasper ♡9♡: □5□ I'm sure that isn't a good idea Jasper ○6○: *Tackles □5□ to the ground and strangles her on screen* YOU WANT TO SCREW MY FAVORITE WINE BOTTLE NOW?!?!? YOU WANT TO SCREW MY FAVORITE WINE BOTTLE NOW?!?!? Jasper ♡9♡: *Puts Jasper ○6○'s favorite wine bottle back on the shelf* Good thing it isn't broken. *Looks at Jasper □5□ and ○6○* Imagine strangling someone over a wine bottle.
@@Playerofakind lots of people do. would you like to be called by the gender your not? you'd probably say you wouldn't care, but it's really annoying after a while.
8:56 I aspire to be the 1 guy who just goes full on television style make a pun as my last words, he'll, even if I kill someone by stabbing them or something, I'd still do it Me: *Stabs someone with a knife* Tell Ceaser I said hi
11:16 So the grandson gets to be a glass blower too
OHOHO!!!!
**starts hyperventilating**
R/technicallythetruth.
Like grandfather, like grandson
Well he isn't wrong
Damian: _moans_
Damian directly after that: "I'm not gonna moan, i'm not stupid"
Wait when did that happen??
@@grevohsdraws1925 7:31
Tawn Tawn Well I regret wanting the time stamp 😂😂
ah yes,D A M I A N
@Tawn Tawn
uwu
Guys I'm gonna put the reddit guys moans in this pornography
send link
@ThePurplePlagueDucktor well done.
Call Joe, we have an emergency.
You belong on this subreddit
NO-
Damien: I’m not gonna moan, I’m not that dumb.
Also Damien: Moans anyway.
Sir Apple: Posts something
Sir Apple: Ill do it again
CDR-Micheal ninh
I come up with ideas and I have poor self restraint.
Also zero shame, that too.
Me: *Moans excessively at the top of my lungs*
Its more of a..... idk.... scream? AAAAAAAAAAA but quieter so aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aiza Gonzalez
Honestly, when they’re wearing a gag those two kinda blend together.
1:20 According to Google, it would take 1 day, 18 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds for the world's fastest autoclicker to completely annihilate all of humanity.
Still wouldn't stop getting nuked.
Perfectly balanced, the way all things should be.
I'd run if for two days
@Nicholas Olson : If it makes you feel better, you'd crash the economy _long_ before you reached that point.
*_not if you upgrade it enough_*
6:12 “omg look at you, you fit in a spoon!”
How Damien said that made me laugh and feel sheer joy
You, you*
GET NOOB Oh ok, I’ll fix my comment
@@TheJoshiePoshie Bruh
@@cbsvevy4718 you gotta do whatcha gotta do
Yummy
A stutter in the title?
*This Gon Be Good*
🔫🔫🔫
Vibe check complete
Who wants to go fishing with me
@@flixxtk6836 noone
wide dog detecting bad vibes
"'Forbidden Bath Bomb' Mmhmmm exclusive one time use"
A-aren't all bath bombs one time use?
6/21 Why the hell is this comment still getting traction I said this a year ago
When they mean one time use,
They mean your life.
I think One time use means...
Last bathbomb you will ever get to use.
Not if ya recycle the water
but this one is special, it can be reused.
Ultimate bath bomb
6:23
“YOU FIT IN A SPOoOoOon”
Sub 2pewdiepie thank you
Sub 2pewdiepie soo adorable
that was so cute
6:36 "im gunna name him- hnghg- henwy :3"
YES THATS MY FAV DAMIEN MOMENT EVER AHHH
Damien: *Pretty much just grunts instead of moaning in that one meme*
Damien, two seconds later: *Gives an entire paragraph about why he won't contribute to the meme*
7:26 btw
Omg
7:20*
Unenthusiastic
“When you realise you have a hair on your screen”
*when you realise your looking a a hair on screen meme and you find a hair on your screen*
Lol, ikr
Same
i didn't have a hair on my screen but i tried to swipe the hair away....
Damian's confused voice is spine chilling, as well as his 'cute thing' voice
Damien*
Who's Damian
@@marcozorro7194 Dame DOLLA
So is your profile picture, Jesus christ
Your avatar is spine chilling lol
Damien slowly turning into an anime girl tho
@Pit rock Are you illiterate?
Juan Cortez Muro You uneducated swine bumbo
Juan Cortez Muro Bot.
Juan Cortez Muro ur mom gai
Like I know you’re a bot and are unable to read this but fuck you I hate bots-
"Second of all- were you *speed running?!* how do you have 44 children??" -Damian emkay 2019
@Nicholas Olson why do you always say comments like these whyyyyŷyyyy/yyyyyyyyyyyyyttyy
me: *sleeps*
loading screen tip:
*How To Survive a House Fire*
me: wait what the actual frick?
Eh.
*Sleeps*
*Tip: How to survive deadly chemicals*
Imsorrywhat
Time to go to bed!
*Sleeps*
Tip: How to diagnose Aids
Excuse me
@Nicholas Olson nuh uh uh
i don't need those tips to do that already
One friend at my school once said, "What if humans laid giant eggs? Like instead of the child breaking the shell you'd have to know when to break it" so I replied with "What if you had to open up animals so they give birth like humans?"
this is the proof of an happy couple
Kakyoin did you lay this egg?
Welcome to the world… of Pokémon!
(Also, people perform c-sections on cows if their calves are too big)
0:01 *welp....now I know I'm even more Pansexual than I thought I was*
@Batman The Dark Knight boo go away "intellectual"
@@sea_nymph damn, the raw passive aggression in your reply lmao
Wait hol up
@Batman The Dark Knight stfu
@Batman The Dark Knight no its 2020
Mom said i couldn’t bring my mp3 to school...
so i brought my mp5
I brought my saiga-12
Gonna teach em a lesson...
So I brought my Glock-15
this speaks to me.
I brought a Kriss Vector.
Its faster than that
6:24
The Way He Said "You Fit In A"
SSSSSSSPOONN
(What) but cold outside
(I have to go.) But outside the boy is cold.
(Mary) I love you from the inside out
(Pause) then hold it in your hand, it will be like ice
(I start with a worried mother) You are rude
(The boy goes to the floor.) Look at the claim.
(I'm sure.) Please
(Yes, he only drank half) Going to school, some notes
(Thinks Neighbor) This oil is not good
(Enter the line.) There is no taxi.
(I want to know how) The eyes now look like stars
(Recorded later) I took off my hat and wrist
(Le-le-le, Pa) Isma
(About the best I ever wanted) Why am I so proud?
(Command cannot be turned off 1) cannot be used
[But] cold, cold outside
(I go away) Yes, it's cold outside
(No answer) Hi, calm down
(Thank you) Have fun
(Too hot, your V) Look out the window during a storm
(My sister is still coming back.) She is so amazing!
(Brother is at the door) You want to enter the tropical ocean
(The bride is ugly and beautiful.) Her lips are beautiful.
(In another tree) And plant grass
(I have to go.) But boy, are you cold or not?
(Say, bring me a coat)
(Good) I love you because you touch me;
(But you can't see) What can you do?
(With respect) His future of all the people in my life
(And many other side effects) if you die of pneumonia
(1 I can not stop) It is too late to escape this problem
[Seims] NWA, Kal
[But] cold, cold outside
10:07 Honestly I'd actually like that loading screen tip power, sounds very useful.
“Is that a little guy? Look at you, you fit in a SPPPPOOOOOON!”
“Henwry”
Sounds like the average grandma
emkay having a cursed comment himself
"were you speedrunning?"
Cursed comments in a nutshell
*"Dead things that I find sexy"*
That newborn baby will do, I suppose. Even though I don't know it's alive or dead...**sighs**
*Unzips pants*
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Just slap it on the back and see if it burps. Either way works. Just, ones not as pleasant as the other.
@@draconicreconcile Just one slap on the back, and if it wasn't dead before it won't make a difference
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 hey if i dont know an ant is dead i step on it, so if you dont know its dead shoot it at point blank
6:21 My favourite Damien moment ever omg
Because hamster
4:38 this is so cursed like WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL COMMENT
Yeeeaaaah..
They also won't ask who's up there up in the bedroom once they realize the brother and sister are not at the dining table.
DraconicReconcile um
I hate that I know the exact brand and model of the...
*Ahem* dinosaurs
What are they?
@@ZERO4LIFE young boy you will know soon
@@ZERO4LIFE .... IM NOT GETTING DAMEN DEMONITIZED.... But they're Tentacle Di--os
Are they Bad Dragon?
@@lostinthestars_ They are, yes. Also more for novelty than utility. They really don't go up a bum too easy but they're cool to look at
"It fits in a little spOOOON"
-Damien 2019
Mr. Bologne Sandwich
NO
Dollface _studios lol
**Epic Game Notice**
Forcefully feeding a wild wolf human bones will NOT make them into a dog
Instead ya feed the wolf to the thing in my basement and it doesn't go on a rampage
Smash it Tv wait really crap that’s why they keep dying
@Yagirlcass ikr don’t know how many pups I’ve killed (i do 43)
3:48 i know for a fact that more than one person has contemplated how to kill me c:
jokes on them i'm still alive and the only one who can kill me is me
Not if you kill him first
We'll see about that
So you're Hitler?
0:38 that isn't r/cursedcomments that's r/murderedbywords
Perhaps even r/rareinsults
Bro turned into an old man for a second there
“Make it his last.” 💀
Emkay: *sees cute animal* hoohoohoo
New scientific discovery, Damian is SANTA
@Shoto Todoroki right, “I’m Santa Hoohoohoo”
0:22
**Christmas comes**
The mom:Sweats violently
Damien when hears someone else has the same common name: WHAT?!
4:55 that's mean😂😂 as a wheelchair user, i almost felt attacked lmao
Wow, thanks for the heart
@@lucarudloff687 Congratulations on the heart 😃
Damien: *moans*
"I'm not gonna moan."
That's... not how that works...
6:24 that sounds like audio from a Berd video
No one can convince me that Damien and Zach aren't in a secret relationship.
And I love it.
0:26
The woman known for having the most children was a Russian woman who had 69 children. Sixteen (16) pairs of twins, seven (7) sets of triplets, and four (4) sets of quadruplets.
Nice.
nice
*NOICE*
The man who had the most children I think had over 400.
She had a fun time
Ohh wait nevermind she had to give birth 69 times, I take it back, she had a GODDANN WONDERFUL TIME, it wasnt fun, no my friend, IT WAS EXCITING AND AMAZING, I would love to go into labor and give birth 69 times, the only bad part is I'm not dying but it would feel like it.
Ooh I've heard of her. I think her name was Valentina Treshkova or smthn
Why did the donor at the sperm bank was fired,
.
.
.
.
he was caught drinking on job...
Being a donor doesn't mean you work there
Lmao
My favorite
@@ashishere771 your favourite drink?
r/engrish
who else is watching this on a toaster?
wcesanai im more of a smart fridge guy
I personally use Gucci Smart Socks.
Sorry I’m using air
this must be what setting 9 is for, toaster tv
You can’t watch this on a toaster... People are so dumb
Is it just me or does Damien just have the best laugh ever? 😂
"One time use bath bomb" What bath bomb has multiple uses, Damien?
Muriyaa Animation if you puke the water after drinking it you can drink it again.
If you swallow the water, it’ll feel *extra good*
The cluster bomb kind
is this what being early feels like
yes indeed it is
Welcome to the pact
I guess
You have 69 likes and I am determined to keep it that way
@@FridaJo_ I'm gonna ruin it
Reddit:
Emkay: I'm not going to moan *here* .
6:59 hey I’ve seen that commenter before
Where?
8:38
I kind of agree
That kid looks like the anti christ
He looks like Gilbert from The Incredibles.
@@SLENDERFREAK5127 naw he looks like one of the muppets
SLENDERFREAK5127 I THOUGHT THE SAME THINGGGGG
Me: On the phone with my mom
The Bois: Pass The WEED
1:16
The person that dies is the person that clicked it
"I'd be a hot demon"
-Damien from EmKay, 2019
6:25 the way Damien says spoon is just so filled with joy and wonder it makes me feel really good about life
ever since i wandered too far off into the r/cursedcomments, my friends know me for the nsfw anime pics and comments.
ILL NEVER FORGIVE THE JAPANESE
Emkay: Sees cursed coment
Also Emkay: *MAKES AN EVEN MORE CURSED COMMENT*
when robin does it he says whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy but proceds to still do it
6:14 "you fit in a li' spoOoOOOooOOon!!!"
*walks into school with mp5*
"ARE YA READY KIDS?"
"AYE AYE CAPTAIN"
*starts shooting*
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
*proceeds to shoot up school while singing spongebob theme song*
I'm sorry please don't hurt me
The fuck did i just read
@@ahardworker2154 Spoilers for the next cursed comment video?
😅👌
@@ahardworker2154 I DONT KNOW
MaccaCheese OOOOOHHHHHH-SH*T!
AYE AYE CAPTAIN
Aye-aye captain!Ohhhhhh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBob SquarePants!If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob Squarepants!
Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob... Square pantssssssssssssssss
The way he says “He fits in a SPOON” is somehow cuter than the creature itself.
4:30 *damien dies*
*scooby-doo gang comes*
Fred: lets split up gang
*everyone splits and he is alone*
Damiens body: Im ready freddy.
*damien wheeze insert here*
Plz notice me damien-chan
WHAT THE FREAK
@@cutiepaaii love truley exist sometimes XD
*damien wheeze here*
THANK YOU DAMIEN :D irl i screed when i seen you liked the comment.
Ready Freddy so get on the beddy
6:11...
“a spoon that’s full of sugar helps the medicine go down”
"Were you speedrunning? How do you have 44 children?" Best quote yet!
12:31
"Hello. I'm an art student/character designer from the Philippines,"
Me also art student and from Philippines: Ay, meron pala fan rin kay emkay galing sa philippines. 🙂
Aye pilipino
Cursed comment:
You know what's better than 5 kids nailed to a tree?
*1 kid nailed to 50 different trees.*
What's black and pink and has 20 nipples?
The trashcan behind the cancer ward
Eh, not as bad as Jesus being nailed to a cross.
@@draconicreconcile 50 different crosses*
*Yin Yang* how can a child get nailed to 50 different trees
@@youraveragetroller4467 a circular saw
10:13 imagine when you're going to get some sheered cheese on the refrigerator and you heavily blink then you see "find a hiding spot in 36 seconds"
I don’t know why I want to say this but ima tell u the weirdest dream I ever had
So I was at i beach in this dream and i step in the ocean and a shark comes out of nowhere and wants me to pet him........
Yeah..
I had a dream a giant man eating snake wanted me to boop its snoot once.
4:48 This is only one of the reasons animals can’t switch places with humans Just imagine The funerals.
Nicholas Olson Did you encourage him
That hiding the dead body comment is how I play hide and go seek.
People: Roast Me
Me: Damn I'ma need to buy another commercial smoker.
As a pansexual, that first joke is overused.
But it’s freaking _amazing_
“What? Aren’t water slides generally closed after too many accidents?”
What does that mean?
PLEASE MAKE THE INTRO BACKGROUND BLACK AND NOT WHITE MY EYES ARE SCORCHING
Yoo I know the first commenter at 7:12
But oh boy that reply surely is filled with *despair*
I-I feel like you are referncing Danganronpa...
3:28 So this is why piss sprays everywhere when i try urinal...
I was born with a smoothbore urethra!
you know you didn't have to say smoothbore urethra right you could have spared us that image
Totenkopf ßänß please refrain from using “smoothbore” and “urethra” in one sentence
but smoothbores can shoot farther, so...
also gives a whole new meaning to "shooting your load"
Rishi Das STOP
I actually never been this early before.
That woman that had 44 kids, she gave birth for 33 years😂
1:57
Oh! Connect 4! Im great at that.
-and nothing else-
I'm not good at anything
Me: Trying to relax and watch some EmKay
Ad: StEpHeN hOrSfOrD
BOSG ACOG
D
8:35 the kid looks like mr Incredibles boss
Oh yea he does, he even is hurt.
"Imagine not knowing your crush cats name"
Wait the minute....
I dont know my crush cat name ;-;
What if your crush doesn't have a cat?!?!?
@@larascott5636 what if i am apologizing now for running over her cat
1:26 spawn camping isn't cool
WHO LIKES CRUNCHY FRIES?! Soft ones are better.
@Nicholas Olson That's why McDonald's fries taste so good, because they're actually soft and have flavor.
Damien: "iD bE a HoT dEmOn!!!"
Who wouldn't?
Damien: *ueeeeeeeh*
Also Damien, moment later: Naw dude I ain't gonna moan on video...
"Hey Toby on the Tele! I love that guy!"
Me: *heavy breathing*
s a me
He’s an art student let that sink in any historical events come to mind
Jasper □5□: *Grabs Jasper ○6○'s favorite wine bottle* Yes my favorite thing to screw, a wine bottle.
Jasper ○6○: Hey □5□ what are you doing with my favorite wine bottle?
Jasper □5□: I'm gonna F*ck it.
Jasper ♡9♡: □5□ I'm sure that isn't a good idea
Jasper ○6○: *Tackles □5□ to the ground and strangles her on screen* YOU WANT TO SCREW MY FAVORITE WINE BOTTLE NOW?!?!? YOU WANT TO SCREW MY FAVORITE WINE BOTTLE NOW?!?!?
Jasper ♡9♡: *Puts Jasper ○6○'s favorite wine bottle back on the shelf* Good thing it isn't broken. *Looks at Jasper □5□ and ○6○* Imagine strangling someone over a wine bottle.
0:47 girl*
she's trans so...
Who cares
@@Playerofakind lots of people do. would you like to be called by the gender your not? you'd probably say you wouldn't care, but it's really annoying after a while.
@@ClosetDemon but gender is a social construct
I commend you for trying to correct someone online.
@@Playerofakind bruh
6:22 I got this guys.
Ahem. “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!”
What is that though? It’s so cute!
Is that a Mary Poppins reference?
E-jaculantern? LOL. Good one, Em Kay.
He didn't create it, though....
Is it just me or is Damiens laugh just so wholesome
I’m Pansexual
I’ve done stuff with pans
And the normal meaning of Pansexual
6:22 “Oh my god, look at you! You fit in a spooooooon!”
That way he said spoon
Jake james it was so cute how he said it
0:47
Toby : *comes out as trans, gets diagnosed with gender dysphoria*
Damien: Hey, i love that guy!
Wtf?
Hey😁
I’m 30 minutes late
go to emkay detention
Damian: reads something strangely disturbing, also Damian: laughs every single time
8:56 I aspire to be the 1 guy who just goes full on television style make a pun as my last words, he'll, even if I kill someone by stabbing them or something, I'd still do it
Me: *Stabs someone with a knife* Tell Ceaser I said hi
3:49 trying to get into a dedicated relationship with the being that is me
I sincerely regret to inform everyone that the human urethra is NOT, in fact, rifled.
It is not NATURALLY rifled
Mine is
alright so we’re starting right out with a pansexual joke
my pan self is pleased lmao
3:54 me neither. Let’s just go with they’re Dino’s that’s for you “pleasing”
I want to improve my art because I can't draw any kind of animal and I want to make some sick wolf drawings and a werewolf emkay ok hand for Damien
"Where's the scissors? My Weiner is too long." "In the Junk drawer."
That right there deserves a like lol.
Why not put it in the trash can?