Really enjoyed this and encapsulates my thoughts. I didn't find your dissection random but actually captured most of the valid reasons around not having kids. I am 36 and always thought I didn't want them but I'm not certain (for many of the reasons that you have articulated). A few points I'd make in response - your friends with kids will naturally fall away anyway - it is sad but their priorities change with kids (as they should) so you won't see as much of them (although they'll lament your freedom!) - freezing eggs is interesting - I have a friend doing it now - it is expensive and there are no guarantees with success so I wouldn't bank on it if you really do want kids. I've asked a few of my friends how they knew they wanted to have kids and I was genuine in wanting to hear their responses- some found the q odd (and one was a little defensive about as if she hadn't thought about it & felt I was asking for a validation!), some couldn't really articulate why, some said they just always knew and one said "it is just what you do" none of which resonated with me as great reasons (apart from the one who 'just knew' - it made sense to me when she said it in relation to her life). I deffo think having one 'just in case' is a very bad reason to have one - feels like an insurance policy although it occasionally worries me that I'll regret it in 10 years time & it will be too late. So I feel under pressure to make a decision either way & make it happen if I do want them. Who knows!! An ongoing conundrum! Just thought I'd share my thoughts!!
Helen, it's from the MAC Warm Neutrals palette I'm pretty sure it's called Gingersnap, and then just a slightly darker colour (centre top) in the crease! It's here: bit.ly/2ih14AA
im 58 never wanted kids. I have no regrets. I never had any desire to change or alter my life. I prefer to spend my time and money doing what i want to do when i want to do it. I'm not selfish. I'm just true to my authentic self. It's OK not to want children
Do you know what I enjoyed most about hitting my 40's? Being too old for people to ask me if we would consider adopting etc. I've known that I can't have kids for over 20 years and I am the luckiest person to have met a man who doesn't want kids, so it's just us. We're stuck with each other with no kids, so we really have to get on! There is life without kids, but it's not for the fainthearted - it can be isolating when all of your friends have kids, and yes you do get ignored at birthday parties etc. And if somebody ever dares to tell me "oh you don't have kids, you wouldn't understand" again, I'll take them out with a perfectly manicured nail. Anyway, I have a heap of gorgeous nieces & nephews who I adore and can return to their parents. That's good enough for me.
I actually can't wait for the day when people stop asking me - but I'm hoping that, regardless of the age of the woman, we'll learn that it's RUDE and presumptuous to even bring it up! It's just so far into the none-of-anybody's-business sphere, it's laughable.
I agree it can be very lonely and isolating being Childfree but I do compensate by doing regular volunteer work and enjoy going to cafes and having people round me, feeling a bit of a buzz. I am car free so as as walker and cyclist, I regularly bump into people for a chat, but the evenings are quite lonely in the UK if you have no partner. I do keep busy though but isolation is a big issue.
There's nothing selfish about wanting to have a life of freedom. Children don't make your life, they make a different kind of life. As a mother of two I can completely understand why someone would chose to be child free. They are wonderful and I adore them but it's bloody hard work! Enjoy your life, whatever you do x
I just couldn't cope with so much of my time going towards kids. Just a couple of hours with my nephew is enough and I never have to do nappies or anything like that. I am off for a camping holiday soon and it is half the price as it is off season, parents are being ripped off. With the price being so low, we could go there several times a year and it will be quiet. Parents need to talk more about the realities having kids.
I am 29 hubby is 35 we're happy without children we don't think its a must but everyone around us keep asking specially our moms I don't think I'll ever change my mind I it's too much responsibility for me
the thing is sometimes they do change their minds, my brother was CF and now he has a kid. And CF people have many accidents as often the partner doesn't use a condom etc. and if they are religious perhaps decide to keep it. As an older person, the pressure to have kids gets even worse unfortunately
It's so refreshing to watch a RUclips video where a smart articulate woman gets real about life choices. As more of my friends go down the marriage/baby etc path the more I realise that it isn't for me. I love my space and so does my partner. We love to travel etc. I think having a baby just isn't something we want and it's nice to hear that others feel the same! Thank you for your insight xx
Can't express how into this video I am. I loved that you shared something so intimate, and you were so honest and endearing about it. I have so many of the same feelings, and it's reassuring to hear them mirrored in someone, especially someone I respect so much! MOAAAAAR VIDEOS PLEASE x
Great video, It still shocks me people thinkIt's ok for them to question people about the baby issue? Its no ones business. Happiness is different for everyone & doesn't always mean children, as a Mom to two, it's hard going & I miss my pre children days. Rosemary, as ever your honesty is refreshing :)
Bit late to the part but it's like you pulled out how I feel from my head. I'm 30 and have never been interested/broody when it comes to raising a family or having a child. People just give me such strange looks. Ha! Really agree on so many of the points you made here. Thumbs up!
THANK YOU for this video! I'm 25, engaged, and have the exact same attitude, worries, fears, thoughts, etc. about this topic. Thank you for putting all of this so eloquently. What really struck home for me was when you mentioned that this is something that is so unknown but we feel like it shouldn't be.
oh geeez!! its so frustrating, the whole issue about children. we no longer have to go out and populate the world! its already been done, and if some of us decide children are not for us, its not going to mean the end of humanity. so what r the other reasons for having kids? so that we wont be lonely?? we came into this world alone, and we'll leave alone. having children wont change that.
Moises Frias that's not a decent argument in my opinion. Who are we denying the chance of life too exactly? A child that doesn't exist? Makes no sense to me.
When people say it's selfish... ugh! That's got to be the most ridiculous comment. No child asks to be born! When you are on the fence about having kids and think 'well, if I'm not sure I could give a child a great life, why would I risk their happiness to save my potential regret?' - it is a courageous and unselfish act *not* to have kids! I also think it's courageous to fully embrace raising a child and have much respect for my parent friends.
This was so candid, articulate and refreshing. It is so unbelievably frustrating when I'm told I will change my mind when I say I don't want kids - as if that's all women are here for, to be vessels for babies. I also totally relate to the whole feeling of having so much more time, money and independence when you choose to not have kids, it's actually really freeing.
Love this video. I was always a bit sceptical about people who said they didn't want children. I always figured that they would change their mind when they got older. However now that I have 1 and am hoping for more, I 100% support anyones decision not to have children. They are hard, being a parent is hard, being responsible for someone else 100% of the time is hard. At times during the last few years, if I hadn't really wanted children, I don't know how I would have coped. Regret is the last thing I would have wanted. There are enough other emotions and doubt flying around! So go you for being sure of what you want right now. And if you do change your mind then you can deal with any issues that you have then. You might have issues now, you could have had issues when you were 20. It's out of your control so go with what your heart wants!
Mandy, that's a really interesting perspective. I know that some people say motherhood is plain sailing, you'll never regret it, it's perfect, so lovely... but I know even more people who have found it really rough, emotionally, physically, financially... and I know it can be a strain on everything in your life! So it's great that you have both of those perspectives. Thanks so much for watching!
I love to hear that I'm not alone on this! I work with children and have a degree in Early Childhood Education.. Imagine the reactions I get when I tell people I have no interest in having some of my own.. They ask if I actually like children, my reaction is well of course I do but only because I give them back :D enjoy the childless freedom! :)
I love this video. I really wish more people spoke about this. I'm in a different position again where we had fertility issues went through all the tests and I was found to have some more serious health issues which meant a new discussion where we decided it wasn't in the greater plan for kids. we're happy and comfortable with our decision and excited for the future. yet some family and friends don't understand I just wish more people were open and understanding about all the choices. thank you for bringing it out in the open.
Ah Caroline, I'm so sorry that you've had difficulties - but glad that you came to a decision you're happy with. Thanks so much for watching and commenting. It's weird; before I did this video I (a) didn't think that it would get such a good reception and (b) never even thought about the fact that the way I talk about it, to family and friends, is probably quite unusual. Sometimes I forget not everyone's as overshary as I am! But I do think it's important to have these conversations, and I'm glad I could start them for some people.
💛 this and respect you so much more for being so open and honest. We seem to carry this deep rooted conviction that life is about getting a job, getting married, having children and retiring. It's almost like we are stuck in the 1950's mindset of how life is "meant to be". Personally I would rather challenge the belief that adult life is about raising a hoard of children. Women who do not desire children are looked upon as selfish narcissists. How can women put their lives of fancy holidays and spotless white carpets ahead of their social and biological "duty" to reproduce? Newsflash! It is NOT a woman's "duty" to procreate! If a woman does not want to have children (whatever her reasons-nobody's business) it is not a personal attack on your life choice to become a parent. Not having a child does not shatter a woman's identity and she does not need to hear things like "you'll change your mind" or shamed by society. Stop judging childfree women❗️
“Missing these seminal moments” -appropriate choice of words, given the topic! Teehee, sorry I couldn’t help myself. Thank you for putting your thoughts out there and helping to pry open up the walls of taboo that prevent these discussions from being out in the open. This is helping people everywhere make decisions wisely for themselves and their families, and that is just lovely. If we can’t talk about things openly, many of us won’t come to realize we have life options until it’s too late. Thanks again!
Honestly one of the most refreshing vlogs I have watched!! I don't drink, don't want to get married or have kids - & luckily neither does my partner, but when you say it to people you are treated like a) you must be a recovering alcoholic if you are Irish and don't drink b) you secretly must want to get married but no one will have you or it is an extreme "hint" to your other half (its not!) and c) you are clearly a bad woman/the devil! Reality is I have the maternal instincts of a door stop, I don't like dresses and I don't actually like drinking! Keep the videos coming - ur snapchat is priceless - always have back up career option as comedian!
I think the problem starts when you and your partner want something else - if let's say didn't want kids and he did. Otherwise if you're both on this same page go and enjoy your life! Kids aren't for everybody and that's ok. Got to say the older you get the scarier the topic becomes, so many should haves!
Thanks so much Caoimhe! It really is, and there's no way we'll ever know, so we just worry until we stop worrying! GAH! (At least we get to take deadly holidays in adult-only locations while we're at it 😝)
Love your honestly Rosemary... I actually love most things you say lol! I don't see how it is at all selfish to decide you do not want children as it is your decision to make. Selfish on who? I had my 1st at 24, married at 25, 2nd at 26. Obviously I don't regret any of this as it was obv the path my life was to take at that time. Im 28 now but do feel I have never really had a life for myself or time to make a career. You are making an amazing career for yourself & have the world at your feet. In saying that the birth of a child is an experience like no other, it just cant be beaten but you have to remember they turn into toddlers, teenagers & beyond! Im living vicariously through the likes of lovely people like you while Im stuck at home FOREVER!!
Hi Emma, totally agree - I had my tongue firmly in cheek when I was saying it was selfish, but that's definitely something that people say when you tell them you're not having kids because you like your life as it is! And thank you so much - and look at least you had yours relatively early, in your 40s you'll be free as a bird!!! (Silver linings...) xx
Love your honesty, I feel pretty similar, I love my nieces and nephews but I am not remotely maternal, I am sick of the "oh well hopefully you'll change your mind' Maybe I will but it should be okay to not change my mind too. Well done you for doing this video. I am so happy to see supportive comments.
Wonderfully honest, refreshing, and well-put as always! I think you've really tapped into something a lot of women experience, and it really needs to be talked about more and acknowledged for what it is - an individual life choice. Would love to see more videos from you. Yourself and Louise O Neill are head table at my imaginary dream dinner party! 😘
Wow this resonates with me on all levels as a 28 year old soon to be married woman. Everyone around me is having kids and I get more put off by the idea!
I applaud you sweetheart! What a great video. I have had all of these thoughts and stresses. And i also suffer from depression and with my mental health. And infertility problems. Great video hunny, well done! It's not selfish to be excited about the life you choose and can have xxx huge hugs darling xxx
As always, loved the honesty of this. I would like to have kids but I'm terrified of pregnancy and all that can go wrong. Also, because of the 8th amendment I would be worried that my health might not be taken care of properly while pregnant. I was diagnosed with cancer last September and I was told I had time to have eggs frozen before starting chemo if I wanted to. After much agonising I decided to do it, even though I very much did not want to put myself through it on top of everything else, because I was worried I might regret it. I suppose I am glad now that I did it because I can take a bit longer to decide but I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone (although I suspect someone doing it because they actually want to have children straight away rather than doing it as an insurance policy against chemo might have a more positive attitude towards it). And it's not selfish AT ALL to not want kids, that kind of thinking baffles me. It is not our "duty" as women to have children.
It's weird Anna, I hadn't read the Jennifer Aniston piece before I recorded this video, but she - and you - is so right. It's absolutely not our duty; sure, our bodies may have been designed with the capacity to reproduce, but that's not to say we're in any way obliged! Mad thinking. I'm so sorry for all you've gone through; I hope things are really looking up for you now, and whatever decision you make regarding your eggs and having children, that it's the right one for you.
I love your views on this! I also think it could be considered incredibly selfish of people to procreate without a guarantee that they would be the best parent for the child in question. It's certainly a catch 22 but at the moment your self proclaimed "selfish" decision doesn't effect an innocent child. So I think you're making a very wise decision. I'm not anti kids, I have 3. Children are a lifetime commitment and I think you definitely realise that responsibility. I respect that!. Also you have a dog, and in my opinion that's more responsibility, dogs will never learn how to feed themselves or pick up their own poo. This is precisely why right now I don't have one lol. That's a commitment I don't want. And I'm a dog person (a lie on the floor playing with your dog type person). I'll never say never, but right now? they're not for me. We're all here to live our lives, our own individual way!
Oh my God, I say that to people ALL the time - having a dog is actually just as much, if not more, responsibility than having a child, because my dog will NEVER grow up and learn to dress herself! Thanks so much for watching 👍
Great video Rosemary! You're a character (in a great way!) and I would listen to you talk about anything really! A lot of women feel the same way as you, including myself. Thank you for speaking about a topic like this so openly.
it's nice to see a video like this. When I was younger I wanted kids. Ive actually lost 4. But now I don't know.... I've been taking care of people all my life and it's even my job taking care of others. I just want to see the world and grow my career. This has been on my mind a lot lately and my boyfriend wants kids but he said he would be fine if we didn't have any. we will just have to see.
Can't say how much I loved this Video. Its hard to be a woman and not want kids people think you are mad. I love kids and have 6 amazing god children but that is all I need. I don't see myself with kids and one day people will stop asking (I hope) xo
I'm not sure if I want them. A lot of ppl say things will be different when you are a mom and you have no idea what love is until then. I still didn't budge because when I saved 800 dollars I like to send that on myself.
great video. I had my daughter when I was 24 love her more then anything and wouldn't change it. but all the plans ahead with no children holidays etc..... that's an amazing life and it's not selfish it's your life live it for u and no one else :-)
I have two amazing funny children and I wouldn't change it for the world but I totally understand you and your feelings also. Working in the world of IVF I see what couples go through and the decisions they have to make, and it's hard, really hard. It so refreshing to hear honesty. No matter how cute and funny the kids are there are those days where you do think, "oh what would our lives be like if we didn't have kids" and some people would be very angry at hearing that, but I think it's far braver to say I don't want to have kids than to have a child and regret it. Great video. ;)
I loved watching this video Rosemary. You're so honest and straight to the point. Even though I think I want kids at some point I can really relate to this video, especially since I don't know when I want them and to decide when the time is most suitable is a challenge in itself. As women these days we have so much choice and sometimes life is too good to want to have to sacrifice it for kids especially if you aren't 100% sure you want them. Thanks for keeping it real xx
Saw this a few days ago and I loved what you said. I don't have kids but I like the idea of having one. I'm a teeny tiny bit older that you (the wrong side of 35) and well the pressure is on mostly by me. I feel like I'm missing one of those milestones.
I rarely log into youtube to leave a comment but felt like I had to for this. What a wonderfully refreshing piece Rosemary. I've always loved your honesty about everything throughout all your platforms with regards to every topic imaginable, but hurrah for tackling this one too. My biggest gripe of all is "why don't you want children (you heartless bitchmonster!)". If everyone could just mind their own business with regards to asking that, that'd be pretty great and would remove the need to constantly second guess the decision not to have kids.
It's just so WEIRD, isn't it? Because if I'm like, oh I don't really want to go on holidays this year, no one gets upset or confused about it. While I know having a child isn't the same as taking a holiday, why is this the ONE decision that no one believes - and everyone feels they have a duty to understand? I don't understand every single choice every single person in my life makes, but I don't need to; they're THEIR choices. Sigh!
O my goodness we should be friends. Lol! I've been going through this conundrum forever it seems. I'm 36 and am really feeling the crunch. I always think that if I had really wanted kids I would have had them by now. I always imagined I would one day, but I really love my freedom and don't really want to be a parent. I feel a lot of pressure that I should be though, because everyone else is that I know. ...I do regret my haircut, but yours looks awesome.
Really liked this video... I can't have kids and I've been through a battery of tests and 5 years of trying and I'm really ok with it. But it's people and their oh u will regret it or u don't no what I'm talking about cause ur not a mother u will known when u have ur own bla bla bla that makes me think I shouldn't be ok with not having children. I'm glad you spoke about it from the other side cause not too many are willing to. It's like it's selfish not to have any.
Been following your snaps and other social media for ages but this is the first of your youtube videos I've seen and I loved it! This really helped me sort some of my own feelings about having children, and it's also reassuring to know that even people as confident as you struggle with this issue. Would love to see a video about being a feminist, as I also think everyone should be one too :D
More of these. I'm stuck in a similar issue. I've endometriosis and I've been in for a few rounds of surgery and after the last one - just over a year ago, I was told I need to start having a family if I want one. I'm 34, soon to be 35. I don't know. I know my OH does and I think I do. I just don't want any now. It's all a bit ole mess.
I also do not want kids. At all. Never have wanted to. I legit have had horrible angsty nightmares in wich I was pregnant. I also do say, that even if I'm very confident my attitude will not change, I can't speak for future me to a certain. But when I get the question; what if you change your mind and it's too late? Well, that's how it's gonna be then. My existens does not depend on me having a child, even if I want a child. I'm not gonna drop dead because my life is now devoid of meaning if it's to late for me to be a mom. It's just gonna be added to the list of things I never got to experience. Along with, places I never went to, things I never had the time to learn, career paths I never took. The list is long. And sure, it's not gonna be fun! Regret have never been considered a fun feeling. But you can't forget that for every thing on that regret list - is an experience on the list of acheivements that you are proud of and that makes you happy. If you are a mother or not; is not a ALL that you are.
Loved this video, thank you for sharing something that is difficult for many to talk about and so private too. I absolutely want to see one about feminism. It would be so interesting. It's not at all selfish that you don't want to have children and live your life the way you want to. Selfishness implies guilt and if there is two agreeing parties then enjoy your life together. We shouldn't be implying that having children is part of normal society. I have two kids, I suffer from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. All of which badly flared up during both pregnancies and I suffered with postnatal depression, it's no walk in the park and there are days I long for my old life back. Particularly in these early years, but at the same time, I can see an end where it will get easier. I'm a step-mom to three teens (another parenting choice not for everyone) so I'm getting schooled now in advance of my own two growing up. Had I wished I maybe considered all of the options more, perhaps but dwelling isn't good for the mind.
Dwelling DEFINITELY isn't good for the mind, but it sounds like you should be pretty proud - you've got a whole lot to deal with and it sounds like you're dealing with it all pretty well! Your kids, and stepkids, are lucky to have you. Thanks so much for watching the video 👍
Loved this video and follow you on snapchat ... I think you are a inspiration! I've heard the question asked when women declare they don't want to have children... "what woman doesn't want to have children? It's completely natural and biological for women to want children!" This is not my opinion I just heard it being asked (by a man) what would your response be? I don't believe that all women want children and it's completely a woman's choice!
Well, I think that comes from the same school of thought that says "it's completely natural for men to be aggressive" or "it's not natural for two men / women to be in love". If there's one thing we learn every single day it's that there's no predestined pattern for our lives, and that biology can only answer for so much. After that it's about how we feel, who we love, the decisions that we make... And there's nothing more natural than going with your gut in my opinion!
you should definitely know that having children will change your life forever...it will never just be your life ever again...there's nothing unknown about that.
Loved your honesty about this all. Would you ever consider adoption if you didn't have biological children but ended up wanting them and were unable to have them?
I actually had a segment in talking about adoption, but it was too long! 😂 I would potentially consider it, and I'd like the idea of providing a family and a home for a child who would otherwise have no one BUT I know that's a very romantic view of a very long, expensive and difficult process. I know that financially and psychologically it can be a huge strain! So who knows.
I always find it so interesting to hear peoples views on adoption. My parents were exactly the same as yours and had two kids but wanted more. My mother was open to adoption if they couldn't have kids but she told me recently my dad wouldn't have wanted to adopt. Hope you have a fantastic happy life regardless of your decision to have or not have kids. I think it was Jennifer Aniston who did a post on this recently saying as a woman you shouldn't have to feel the need to have a child to feel complete and its very true. :)
Hi Rosemary? Are you currently on medication for your depression? If you were to change your mind 're having children how would you feel about not taking your meds? Has your depression had any influence at all on your decision to not have children?
Hi Kaley, yes I am - I've documented that in my other video, Depression to Diagnosis. My current meds are fine if I decide to get pregnant; I can stay on them throughout. But to be honest, my depression hasn't had any bearing on my decision. I didn't want children before my diagnosis, and I don't want them after!
Interesting subject Rosemary, especially that I'm curreently pregnant with number one. I completely respect anybody who doesn't want to have children. However, I disagree that having a kid means no more life for us as a couple/profesionals etc. We both very much look forward to travelling with our baba, we actually already booked holidays in Thailand, she'll be only 6 months. She will be adjusting to our life, not the other way around. I'll let you know how is it going for us.
Ah of course! I more meant that without children there's a total freedom to travel whenever and wherever, but that difference probably applies more once they're at school. I know babies are super adaptable - I have friends who went backpacking with theirs and had an amazing time!
Yeah I think Rosemary was definitely referring more to when the kids enter school, which is the bulk of their childhood/adolescence. Babies may be adaptable but they're babies for only a short time. It's commonly know children need stability to thrive. Realistically, once you have kids that really is the end of travelling as you please for a solid 10-15 years.
Have children is a contribution to the civilian government. Also adoption is very important However toddle toddlers and preteens are okay but teenagers wow
As a mom of six, and a feminist, if you don't want kids-don't have them! Three of my kids have autism. These things you are never prepared for and the older mothers are more likely to have kids with genetic flaws, not to mention high risk pregnancies. (I'm a retired nurse and paramedic as well.) If you and your partner don't stay together after having a child it further complicates matters. And finding a mate once you have kids is a little trickier as you want to ensure they are good parents as well as good partners. My youngest girl doesn't want kids, and I'm fine with that. It's her life. With global warming, what kind of world will we have for the next generations anyway? Good luck!
Shelley Kapach My oldest daughter has Language disorder and ADHD she doesn't know how high the housing and the rent is in Canada. She's only 8. She told me about one or two kids, but children now don't know how much Their life change until they are older. I have male cousins who are nice and friendly guys with many people they know but no girl friends! Relationships are changing. My sister has a boyfriend of many years and they live together but marriage isn't for them. Now all she knows are little kid stuff..I'm a single parent and she won't know how a relationship between a man and a woman is like. I made my choice to not get married again because both my kids have needs.
As I listened to you speak, I got the impression that this video really wasn't meant as a message to the masses. It was a video you made as message to yourself, as if you were trying to convince yourself that not having kids is the correct stance. Your justifications for being child-free are echoed by other child-free people, which indicates a herd mentality. Unless you can break free of the group-think, your life will stay the same. You should ask yourself if that is what you want.
Really enjoyed this and encapsulates my thoughts. I didn't find your dissection random but actually captured most of the valid reasons around not having kids. I am 36 and always thought I didn't want them but I'm not certain (for many of the reasons that you have articulated). A few points I'd make in response - your friends with kids will naturally fall away anyway - it is sad but their priorities change with kids (as they should) so you won't see as much of them (although they'll lament your freedom!) - freezing eggs is interesting - I have a friend doing it now - it is expensive and there are no guarantees with success so I wouldn't bank on it if you really do want kids.
I've asked a few of my friends how they knew they wanted to have kids and I was genuine in wanting to hear their responses- some found the q odd (and one was a little defensive about as if she hadn't thought about it & felt I was asking for a validation!), some couldn't really articulate why, some said they just always knew and one said "it is just what you do" none of which resonated with me as great reasons (apart from the one who 'just knew' - it made sense to me when she said it in relation to her life).
I deffo think having one 'just in case' is a very bad reason to have one - feels like an insurance policy although it occasionally worries me that I'll regret it in 10 years time & it will be too late. So I feel under pressure to make a decision either way & make it happen if I do want them.
Who knows!! An ongoing conundrum! Just thought I'd share my thoughts!!
Rosemary what eyeshadow are you wearing?!
Helen, it's from the MAC Warm Neutrals palette I'm pretty sure it's called Gingersnap, and then just a slightly darker colour (centre top) in the crease! It's here: bit.ly/2ih14AA
im 58 never wanted kids. I have no regrets. I never had any desire to change or alter my life. I prefer to spend my time and money doing what i want to do when i want to do it. I'm not selfish. I'm just true to my authentic self. It's OK not to want children
epd0126 wish I had more friends like you!!!!!!
Gee Cee
me too
Do you know what I enjoyed most about hitting my 40's? Being too old for people to ask me if we would consider adopting etc. I've known that I can't have kids for over 20 years and I am the luckiest person to have met a man who doesn't want kids, so it's just us. We're stuck with each other with no kids, so we really have to get on! There is life without kids, but it's not for the fainthearted - it can be isolating when all of your friends have kids, and yes you do get ignored at birthday parties etc. And if somebody ever dares to tell me "oh you don't have kids, you wouldn't understand" again, I'll take them out with a perfectly manicured nail. Anyway, I have a heap of gorgeous nieces & nephews who I adore and can return to their parents. That's good enough for me.
I actually can't wait for the day when people stop asking me - but I'm hoping that, regardless of the age of the woman, we'll learn that it's RUDE and presumptuous to even bring it up! It's just so far into the none-of-anybody's-business sphere, it's laughable.
+Rosemary Mac Cabe I just keep asking can I get maternity and parental leave for the dog...
I agree it can be very lonely and isolating being Childfree but I do compensate by doing regular volunteer work and enjoy going to cafes and having people round me, feeling a bit of a buzz. I am car free so as as walker and cyclist, I regularly bump into people for a chat, but the evenings are quite lonely in the UK if you have no partner. I do keep busy though but isolation is a big issue.
There's nothing selfish about wanting to have a life of freedom. Children don't make your life, they make a different kind of life. As a mother of two I can completely understand why someone would chose to be child free. They are wonderful and I adore them but it's bloody hard work!
Enjoy your life, whatever you do x
Thanks so much Weenie! You two. Really wise, too - they do just make a different kind of life :D
I just couldn't cope with so much of my time going towards kids. Just a couple of hours with my nephew is enough and I never have to do nappies or anything like that. I am off for a camping holiday soon and it is half the price as it is off season, parents are being ripped off. With the price being so low, we could go there several times a year and it will be quiet. Parents need to talk more about the realities having kids.
It'll be interesting to see what happens to the conversation when the taboo around people who *do* regret having kids is broken...
I am 29 hubby is 35 we're happy without children we don't think its a must but everyone around us keep asking specially our moms I don't think I'll ever change my mind I it's too much responsibility for me
Huda An Not that but it's like a prison sentence because your life is dominated by a kid and you lose your mobility.
Huda An
thank you for making this! It's incredibly patronising when people say you'll change your mind
the thing is sometimes they do change their minds, my brother was CF and now he has a kid. And CF people have many accidents as often the partner doesn't use a condom etc. and if they are religious perhaps decide to keep it. As an older person, the pressure to have kids gets even worse unfortunately
It's so refreshing to watch a RUclips video where a smart articulate woman gets real about life choices. As more of my friends go down the marriage/baby etc path the more I realise that it isn't for me. I love my space and so does my partner. We love to travel etc. I think having a baby just isn't something we want and it's nice to hear that others feel the same! Thank you for your insight xx
Can't express how into this video I am. I loved that you shared something so intimate, and you were so honest and endearing about it. I have so many of the same feelings, and it's reassuring to hear them mirrored in someone, especially someone I respect so much! MOAAAAAR VIDEOS PLEASE x
Thanks Ciara! That means a lot, mucho gracias xx
I feel the same Ciara! thanks for sharing this rosemary : )
Great video, It still shocks me people thinkIt's ok for them to question people about the baby issue? Its no ones business. Happiness is different for everyone & doesn't always mean children, as a Mom to two, it's hard going & I miss my pre children days. Rosemary, as ever your honesty is refreshing :)
Bit late to the part but it's like you pulled out how I feel from my head. I'm 30 and have never been interested/broody when it comes to raising a family or having a child. People just give me such strange looks. Ha! Really agree on so many of the points you made here. Thumbs up!
THANK YOU for this video! I'm 25, engaged, and have the exact same attitude, worries, fears, thoughts, etc. about this topic. Thank you for putting all of this so eloquently. What really struck home for me was when you mentioned that this is something that is so unknown but we feel like it shouldn't be.
oh geeez!! its so frustrating, the whole issue about children. we no longer have to go out and populate the world! its already been done, and if some of us decide children are not for us, its not going to mean the end of humanity. so what r the other reasons for having kids? so that we wont be lonely?? we came into this world alone, and we'll leave alone. having children wont change that.
So basically your parents gave the chance to be alive but you are denying that privileges to others?
Moises Frias yes that is the case so deal with it
id rather be with someone i like. babies dont give me company. i hate them so much gahhh
Moises Frias that's not a decent argument in my opinion. Who are we denying the chance of life too exactly? A child that doesn't exist? Makes no sense to me.
Jasmine Johnson lol exactly
When people say it's selfish... ugh! That's got to be the most ridiculous comment. No child asks to be born! When you are on the fence about having kids and think 'well, if I'm not sure I could give a child a great life, why would I risk their happiness to save my potential regret?' - it is a courageous and unselfish act *not* to have kids! I also think it's courageous to fully embrace raising a child and have much respect for my parent friends.
This was so candid, articulate and refreshing. It is so unbelievably frustrating when I'm told I will change my mind when I say I don't want kids - as if that's all women are here for, to be vessels for babies. I also totally relate to the whole feeling of having so much more time, money and independence when you choose to not have kids, it's actually really freeing.
you rock girl
Ahhh...and now I don't feel QUITE as alone in this world! A relatable vlog. Thanks, Rosemary! :)
Love this video. I was always a bit sceptical about people who said they didn't want children. I always figured that they would change their mind when they got older. However now that I have 1 and am hoping for more, I 100% support anyones decision not to have children. They are hard, being a parent is hard, being responsible for someone else 100% of the time is hard. At times during the last few years, if I hadn't really wanted children, I don't know how I would have coped. Regret is the last thing I would have wanted. There are enough other emotions and doubt flying around!
So go you for being sure of what you want right now. And if you do change your mind then you can deal with any issues that you have then. You might have issues now, you could have had issues when you were 20. It's out of your control so go with what your heart wants!
Mandy, that's a really interesting perspective. I know that some people say motherhood is plain sailing, you'll never regret it, it's perfect, so lovely... but I know even more people who have found it really rough, emotionally, physically, financially... and I know it can be a strain on everything in your life! So it's great that you have both of those perspectives. Thanks so much for watching!
I love to hear that I'm not alone on this! I work with children and have a degree in Early Childhood Education.. Imagine the reactions I get when I tell people I have no interest in having some of my own.. They ask if I actually like children, my reaction is well of course I do but only because I give them back :D enjoy the childless freedom! :)
I love this video.
I really wish more people spoke about this.
I'm in a different position again where we had fertility issues went through all the tests and I was found to have some more serious health issues which meant a new discussion where we decided it wasn't in the greater plan for kids.
we're happy and comfortable with our decision and excited for the future. yet some family and friends don't understand I just wish more people were open and understanding about all the choices.
thank you for bringing it out in the open.
Ah Caroline, I'm so sorry that you've had difficulties - but glad that you came to a decision you're happy with. Thanks so much for watching and commenting. It's weird; before I did this video I (a) didn't think that it would get such a good reception and (b) never even thought about the fact that the way I talk about it, to family and friends, is probably quite unusual. Sometimes I forget not everyone's as overshary as I am! But I do think it's important to have these conversations, and I'm glad I could start them for some people.
💛 this and respect you so much more for being so open and honest. We seem to carry this deep rooted conviction that life is about getting a job, getting married, having children and retiring. It's almost like we are stuck in the 1950's mindset of how life is "meant to be". Personally I would rather challenge the belief that adult life is about raising a hoard of children. Women who do not desire children are looked upon as selfish narcissists. How can women put their lives of fancy holidays and spotless white carpets ahead of their social and biological "duty" to reproduce? Newsflash! It is NOT a woman's "duty" to procreate! If a woman does not want to have children (whatever her reasons-nobody's business) it is not a personal attack on your life choice to become a parent. Not having a child does not shatter a woman's identity and she does not need to hear things like "you'll change your mind" or shamed by society. Stop judging childfree women❗️
PREACH! We don't owe anyone anything!
“Missing these seminal moments” -appropriate choice of words, given the topic! Teehee, sorry I couldn’t help myself. Thank you for putting your thoughts out there and helping to pry open up the walls of taboo that prevent these discussions from being out in the open. This is helping people everywhere make decisions wisely for themselves and their families, and that is just lovely. If we can’t talk about things openly, many of us won’t come to realize we have life options until it’s too late. Thanks again!
Honestly one of the most refreshing vlogs I have watched!! I don't drink, don't want to get married or have kids - & luckily neither does my partner, but when you say it to people you are treated like a) you must be a recovering alcoholic if you are Irish and don't drink b) you secretly must want to get married but no one will have you or it is an extreme "hint" to your other half (its not!) and c) you are clearly a bad woman/the devil! Reality is I have the maternal instincts of a door stop, I don't like dresses and I don't actually like drinking! Keep the videos coming - ur snapchat is priceless - always have back up career option as comedian!
I think the problem starts when you and your partner want something else - if let's say didn't want kids and he did. Otherwise if you're both on this same page go and enjoy your life! Kids aren't for everybody and that's ok. Got to say the older you get the scarier the topic becomes, so many should haves!
Glad you did this video! Exactly what I have been thinking for a while! I think having / not having kids is the ultimate FOMO!
Thanks so much Caoimhe! It really is, and there's no way we'll ever know, so we just worry until we stop worrying! GAH! (At least we get to take deadly holidays in adult-only locations while we're at it 😝)
Love your honestly Rosemary... I actually love most things you say lol!
I don't see how it is at all selfish to decide you do not want children as it is your decision to make. Selfish on who?
I had my 1st at 24, married at 25, 2nd at 26. Obviously I don't regret any of this as it was obv the path my life was to take at that time. Im 28 now but do feel I have never really had a life for myself or time to make a career.
You are making an amazing career for yourself & have the world at your feet.
In saying that the birth of a child is an experience like no other, it just cant be beaten but you have to remember they turn into toddlers, teenagers & beyond!
Im living vicariously through the likes of lovely people like you while Im stuck at home FOREVER!!
Hi Emma, totally agree - I had my tongue firmly in cheek when I was saying it was selfish, but that's definitely something that people say when you tell them you're not having kids because you like your life as it is!
And thank you so much - and look at least you had yours relatively early, in your 40s you'll be free as a bird!!! (Silver linings...) xx
Love your honesty, I feel pretty similar, I love my nieces and nephews but I am not remotely maternal, I am sick of the "oh well hopefully you'll change your mind'
Maybe I will but it should be okay to not change my mind too. Well done you for doing this video. I am so happy to see supportive comments.
Wonderfully honest, refreshing, and well-put as always! I think you've really tapped into something a lot of women experience, and it really needs to be talked about more and acknowledged for what it is - an individual life choice. Would love to see more videos from you. Yourself and Louise O Neill are head table at my imaginary dream dinner party! 😘
Ah Orla, that's so sweet! Forget dream territory, we should just make that happen! Hit me up next time you're in Dublin x
Wow this resonates with me on all levels as a 28 year old soon to be married woman. Everyone around me is having kids and I get more put off by the idea!
I applaud you sweetheart! What a great video. I have had all of these thoughts and stresses. And i also suffer from depression and with my mental health. And infertility problems. Great video hunny, well done! It's not selfish to be excited about the life you choose and can have xxx huge hugs darling xxx
As always, loved the honesty of this. I would like to have kids but I'm terrified of pregnancy and all that can go wrong. Also, because of the 8th amendment I would be worried that my health might not be taken care of properly while pregnant. I was diagnosed with cancer last September and I was told I had time to have eggs frozen before starting chemo if I wanted to. After much agonising I decided to do it, even though I very much did not want to put myself through it on top of everything else, because I was worried I might regret it. I suppose I am
glad now that I did it because I can take a bit longer to decide but I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone (although I suspect someone doing it because they actually want to have children straight away rather than doing it as an insurance policy against chemo might have a more positive attitude towards it). And it's not selfish AT ALL to not want kids, that kind of thinking baffles me. It is not our "duty" as women to have children.
It's weird Anna, I hadn't read the Jennifer Aniston piece before I recorded this video, but she - and you - is so right. It's absolutely not our duty; sure, our bodies may have been designed with the capacity to reproduce, but that's not to say we're in any way obliged! Mad thinking.
I'm so sorry for all you've gone through; I hope things are really looking up for you now, and whatever decision you make regarding your eggs and having children, that it's the right one for you.
I love your views on this! I also think it could be considered incredibly selfish of people to procreate without a guarantee that they would be the best parent for the child in question. It's certainly a catch 22 but at the moment your self proclaimed "selfish" decision doesn't effect an innocent child. So I think you're making a very wise decision. I'm not anti kids, I have 3. Children are a lifetime commitment and I think you definitely realise that responsibility. I respect that!. Also you have a dog, and in my opinion that's more responsibility, dogs will never learn how to feed themselves or pick up their own poo. This is precisely why right now I don't have one lol. That's a commitment I don't want. And I'm a dog person (a lie on the floor playing with your dog type person). I'll never say never, but right now? they're not for me. We're all here to live our lives, our own individual way!
Oh my God, I say that to people ALL the time - having a dog is actually just as much, if not more, responsibility than having a child, because my dog will NEVER grow up and learn to dress herself! Thanks so much for watching 👍
Stay excited. You *do* have your whole life ahead of you, & who knows what all that energy could be channeled into.. its a big world out there! ; )
Great video Rosemary! You're a character (in a great way!) and I would listen to you talk about anything really! A lot of women feel the same way as you, including myself. Thank you for speaking about a topic like this so openly.
it's nice to see a video like this. When I was younger I wanted kids. Ive actually lost 4. But now I don't know.... I've been taking care of people all my life and it's even my job taking care of others. I just want to see the world and grow my career. This has been on my mind a lot lately and my boyfriend wants kids but he said he would be fine if we didn't have any. we will just have to see.
Can't say how much I loved this Video. Its hard to be a woman and not want kids people think you are mad. I love kids and have 6 amazing god children but that is all I need. I don't see myself with kids and one day people will stop asking (I hope) xo
I'm not sure if I want them. A lot of ppl say things will be different when you are a mom and you have no idea what love is until then. I still didn't budge because when I saved 800 dollars I like to send that on myself.
I don't know eather. It really confuses me
great video.
I had my daughter when I was 24 love her more then anything and wouldn't change it.
but all the plans ahead with no children holidays etc.....
that's an amazing life and it's not selfish it's your life live it for u and no one else :-)
I have two amazing funny children and I wouldn't change it for the world but I totally understand you and your feelings also. Working in the world of IVF I see what couples go through and the decisions they have to make, and it's hard, really hard. It so refreshing to hear honesty. No matter how cute and funny the kids are there are those days where you do think, "oh what would our lives be like if we didn't have kids" and some people would be very angry at hearing that, but I think it's far braver to say I don't want to have kids than to have a child and regret it. Great video. ;)
I loved watching this video Rosemary. You're so honest and straight to the point. Even though I think I want kids at some point I can really relate to this video, especially since I don't know when I want them and to decide when the time is most suitable is a challenge in itself. As women these days we have so much choice and sometimes life is too good to want to have to sacrifice it for kids especially if you aren't 100% sure you want them. Thanks for keeping it real xx
Saw this a few days ago and I loved what you said. I don't have kids but I like the idea of having one. I'm a teeny tiny bit older that you (the wrong side of 35) and well the pressure is on mostly by me. I feel like I'm missing one of those milestones.
Love this video as I'm in exactly the same position as you. Fair play for speaking out, more people need to as there shouldn't be a stigma attached 😊
I rarely log into youtube to leave a comment but felt like I had to for this. What a wonderfully refreshing piece Rosemary. I've always loved your honesty about everything throughout all your platforms with regards to every topic imaginable, but hurrah for tackling this one too.
My biggest gripe of all is "why don't you want children (you heartless bitchmonster!)". If everyone could just mind their own business with regards to asking that, that'd be pretty great and would remove the need to constantly second guess the decision not to have kids.
It's just so WEIRD, isn't it? Because if I'm like, oh I don't really want to go on holidays this year, no one gets upset or confused about it. While I know having a child isn't the same as taking a holiday, why is this the ONE decision that no one believes - and everyone feels they have a duty to understand? I don't understand every single choice every single person in my life makes, but I don't need to; they're THEIR choices. Sigh!
O my goodness we should be friends. Lol! I've been going through this conundrum forever it seems. I'm 36 and am really feeling the crunch. I always think that if I had really wanted kids I would have had them by now. I always imagined I would one day, but I really love my freedom and don't really want to be a parent. I feel a lot of pressure that I should be though, because everyone else is that I know. ...I do regret my haircut, but yours looks awesome.
I actually really enjoyed this. You've a lovely way about you Rosemary :)
Ah Sarah that's such a nice thing to say, thank you!
Really liked this Rosemary! Fair play for being so honest!
Thanks so much!
Really liked this video... I can't have kids and I've been through a battery of tests and 5 years of trying and I'm really ok with it. But it's people and their oh u will regret it or u don't no what I'm talking about cause ur not a mother u will known when u have ur own bla bla bla that makes me think I shouldn't be ok with not having children. I'm glad you spoke about it from the other side cause not too many are willing to. It's like it's selfish not to have any.
Love love love your hair!
I know it's an old video. Still love it nonetheless!
Wow...feel like I'm listening to myself. Thanks!! Great video
gave me a new perspective on this! still want kids though
Been following your snaps and other social media for ages but this is the first of your youtube videos I've seen and I loved it! This really helped me sort some of my own feelings about having children, and it's also reassuring to know that even people as confident as you struggle with this issue. Would love to see a video about being a feminist, as I also think everyone should be one too :D
Superb topic - loved everything about this video 🙌
Thanks so much Ciara!
More of these. I'm stuck in a similar issue. I've endometriosis and I've been in for a few rounds of surgery and after the last one - just over a year ago, I was told I need to start having a family if I want one. I'm 34, soon to be 35. I don't know. I know my OH does and I think I do. I just don't want any now. It's all a bit ole mess.
Thanks Rosemary lots to reflect upon there x
I also do not want kids. At all. Never have wanted to. I legit have had horrible angsty nightmares in wich I was pregnant.
I also do say, that even if I'm very confident my attitude will not change, I can't speak for future me to a certain.
But when I get the question; what if you change your mind and it's too late?
Well, that's how it's gonna be then. My existens does not depend on me having a child, even if I want a child. I'm not gonna drop dead because my life is now devoid of meaning if it's to late for me to be a mom. It's just gonna be added to the list of things I never got to experience. Along with, places I never went to, things I never had the time to learn, career paths I never took. The list is long. And sure, it's not gonna be fun! Regret have never been considered a fun feeling. But you can't forget that for every thing on that regret list - is an experience on the list of acheivements that you are proud of and that makes you happy.
If you are a mother or not; is not a ALL that you are.
Loved this video, thank you for sharing something that is difficult for many to talk about and so private too. I absolutely want to see one about feminism.
It would be so interesting. It's not at all selfish that you don't want to have children and live your life the way you want to. Selfishness implies guilt and if there is two agreeing parties then enjoy your life together. We shouldn't be implying that having children is part of normal society.
I have two kids, I suffer from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. All of which badly flared up during both pregnancies and I suffered with postnatal depression, it's no walk in the park and there are days I long for my old life back. Particularly in these early years, but at the same time, I can see an end where it will get easier. I'm a step-mom to three teens (another parenting choice not for everyone) so I'm getting schooled now in advance of my own two growing up. Had I wished I maybe considered all of the options more, perhaps but dwelling isn't good for the mind.
Dwelling DEFINITELY isn't good for the mind, but it sounds like you should be pretty proud - you've got a whole lot to deal with and it sounds like you're dealing with it all pretty well! Your kids, and stepkids, are lucky to have you. Thanks so much for watching the video 👍
great video, so honest!! keep them coming 👍👏👏
Thanks so much Tina!
you are amazing sister !!!! it was very segnificant for me !!! thank you !!!
Great video- I have 2 boys but totally get this video xx pa love the hair here! X
Great video. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Loved this video and follow you on snapchat ... I think you are a inspiration! I've heard the question asked when women declare they don't want to have children... "what woman doesn't want to have children? It's completely natural and biological for women to want children!" This is not my opinion I just heard it being asked (by a man) what would your response be? I don't believe that all women want children and it's completely a woman's choice!
Well, I think that comes from the same school of thought that says "it's completely natural for men to be aggressive" or "it's not natural for two men / women to be in love". If there's one thing we learn every single day it's that there's no predestined pattern for our lives, and that biology can only answer for so much. After that it's about how we feel, who we love, the decisions that we make... And there's nothing more natural than going with your gut in my opinion!
I am glad I don't have kids. There are fewer layers of complications and fewer expenses.
you should definitely know that having children will change your life forever...it will never just be your life ever again...there's nothing unknown about that.
Loved your honesty about this all. Would you ever consider adoption if you didn't have biological children but ended up wanting them and were unable to have them?
I actually had a segment in talking about adoption, but it was too long! 😂 I would potentially consider it, and I'd like the idea of providing a family and a home for a child who would otherwise have no one BUT I know that's a very romantic view of a very long, expensive and difficult process. I know that financially and psychologically it can be a huge strain! So who knows.
I always find it so interesting to hear peoples views on adoption. My parents were exactly the same as yours and had two kids but wanted more. My mother was open to adoption if they couldn't have kids but she told me recently my dad wouldn't have wanted to adopt. Hope you have a fantastic happy life regardless of your decision to have or not have kids. I think it was Jennifer Aniston who did a post on this recently saying as a woman you shouldn't have to feel the need to have a child to feel complete and its very true. :)
Excellent video ! X
Thanks so much Stephanie!
happy international child free day
Hi Rosemary? Are you currently on medication for your depression? If you were to change your mind 're having children how would you feel about not taking your meds? Has your depression had any influence at all on your decision to not have children?
Hi Kaley, yes I am - I've documented that in my other video, Depression to Diagnosis. My current meds are fine if I decide to get pregnant; I can stay on them throughout. But to be honest, my depression hasn't had any bearing on my decision. I didn't want children before my diagnosis, and I don't want them after!
Honest as ever, great article. Well done Rosemary!
That is okay, why not get the operation?
This was great!!
Thanks Cassandra!
awesome
Ahhh not having kids is not selfish! Not at all, not one bit.
Interesting subject Rosemary, especially that I'm curreently pregnant with number one. I completely respect anybody who doesn't want to have children. However, I disagree that having a kid means no more life for us as a couple/profesionals etc. We both very much look forward to travelling with our baba, we actually already booked holidays in Thailand, she'll be only 6 months. She will be adjusting to our life, not the other way around. I'll let you know how is it going for us.
Ah of course! I more meant that without children there's a total freedom to travel whenever and wherever, but that difference probably applies more once they're at school. I know babies are super adaptable - I have friends who went backpacking with theirs and had an amazing time!
Loaf Story you're the kind of mom that people hate on planes.
Yeah I think Rosemary was definitely referring more to when the kids enter school, which is the bulk of their childhood/adolescence. Babies may be adaptable but they're babies for only a short time. It's commonly know children need stability to thrive. Realistically, once you have kids that really is the end of travelling as you please for a solid 10-15 years.
Love the idea of the feminist youtube video Rosemary! Love your content!
Stop focusing on others and run your own race. Do what works for you.
Have children is a contribution to the civilian government.
Also adoption is very important
However toddle toddlers and preteens are okay but teenagers wow
YES, THANKS!! Please make more about that and about feminism. Thanks again. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Did she say why I am feminist or I am not ?
Ending
As a mom of six, and a feminist, if you don't want kids-don't have them! Three of my kids have autism. These things you are never prepared for and the older mothers are more likely to have kids with genetic flaws, not to mention high risk pregnancies. (I'm a retired nurse and paramedic as well.) If you and your partner don't stay together after having a child it further complicates matters. And finding a mate once you have kids is a little trickier as you want to ensure they are good parents as well as good partners. My youngest girl doesn't want kids, and I'm fine with that. It's her life. With global warming, what kind of world will we have for the next generations anyway? Good luck!
Shelley Kapach My oldest daughter has Language disorder and ADHD she doesn't know how high the housing and the rent is in Canada. She's only 8. She told me about one or two kids, but children now don't know how much Their life change until they are older. I have male cousins who are nice and friendly guys with many people they know but no girl friends! Relationships are changing. My sister has a boyfriend of many years and they live together but marriage isn't for them. Now all she knows are little kid stuff..I'm a single parent and she won't know how a relationship between a man and a woman is like. I made my choice to not get married again because both my kids have needs.
As I listened to you speak, I got the impression that this video really wasn't meant as a message to the masses. It was a video you made as message to yourself, as if you were trying to convince yourself that not having kids is the correct stance.
Your justifications for being child-free are echoed by other child-free people, which indicates a herd mentality. Unless you can break free of the group-think, your life will stay the same. You should ask yourself if that is what you want.
Loved this. Would love to hear the feminist one (purely to share with others as I am already a staunch feminist)
Deadly! Thanks so much for watching 😊
If you don't want a baby give me 👍 (or👎.It's up to you 😉)
Happy international child free day