Thank You @FEMI LAZARUS for the opportunity to share and this is the beginning of my permanent healing . Thank you everyone for your prayers and kind words , together we can join hands to help every RAPE SURVIVORs and FGM survivors get their healing out there
Being compliant has helped me before and I didn't even know what it was called then😅. This guy tried to rap me then I was about 17years and I tried to fight him and realized that I couldn't and the environment was not the one I could cry for help,😢 so I just whispered a word of prayer in my heart that the Holy Spirit should make a way for me and that's how I just told him that why did he not talk to me like a gentleman would talk to his lady? I told him that we would not enjoy it if we rush over it, I told him that if we plan it before doing we will enjoy it more and in a better place and he just said you are right. Jesus!!!!! That's how he let me go with the agreement to meet two days after .Oh God of signs and wonders I disappeared never talked to him or seen him. What this lady is talking about is something very serious and that incident still traumatized me till date 😢 and it has an effect on my sexual life 😢😢. Just imagine it happened, I don't even know if I could have survived it. Thank you for sharing and may God heal you and bless your home 🙏
Jesus.... I cried uncontrollably when she said at some point she felt it may have been better if she gave herself up for sex after the rape, maybe she would have overcome the sexual issues she is facing now. I cried I cried I cried Ahhh devillllll Because some persons are feeling they wish they did not go through with sex after their abuse but here the devil wants her to feel it probably would have been better. But obviously the choice she made not going through with it was one of the best decisions ever. God we hold onto you for grace, strength and direction. God will completely heal you ma'am. Amen
Listen to understand..... She said she refused to pursue the Legal part of the rape case . So it wasn't the church that protected the guy, it was her that decided so.
Even scriptures say we should be transformed by renewing our minds. Therapy esp CBT are based on the principles of renewing the mind. Scripture says there is safety in a multitude of counsellors. I wonder why we assume things about God that are even outside his word
Thank you Apostle. This lady is helping others when she is still on her journey of healing from trauma - you don’t have to wait till things are perfect to help others. With the (little) progress you have made, you can reach others and pull them up. After Dr.Chika’s story, this one is the next. I have learnt one thing from all the stories on here - Christians need to be courageous, and with the help of God, they must FIGHT. It is the only way.
I'm not sure how it is in Nigeria, but in the Western world, they are only tried in camera (private hearings) unless the survivor wants the hearing to occur in an open court.
I don’t think I have ever listened to anyone as real as ADEK, I pray for your complete healing and wholeness ❤❤❤. God bless your husband for being patient with you
Just being able to come out and talk about this shows how strong you are. Took my 20+ years to come out and when I did I felt i could have kept it to myself. People are very judgmental and not supportive at all. That feeling of guilt and worthless hits differently. There's hope for you and I. Someday we will find our healing
I'm proud of you sis, at least you came out and freed yourself mentally. Keep strong an know you are believed and God will continue to bless an keep strong❤
you make me cry, sister Adek but one thing i know is that all your tears has come to an end today, for having a contact with pastor Femi lazarus, i am writing these from Canada, you pain has ended, in jesus name.
She's so so so real... This also happens to ladies who have wicked fathers... Fathers who don't know how to show love to their girls... Those girls grow up looking for love in the wrong places and they lose feelings too... This feels like r-pe too. A father should be the girl's first love... Christianity needs to be real and sincere not just biblical quotes and interpretation. Our heaven starts from here... Trauma is real.
@@FaithOrlu-j2t you just have to find a way to heal... Imagine being tied with electric wires hands and feet,naked with growing chest,thrown in the dark cockroach filled toilet overnight with a lacerated body, siblings avoiding you like the plague... the list is so long...It's so painful but we always gloss over it but deep down the betrayal hurts. Especially those who do not have the opportunity to be apologized to before death... Sis, you are loved,be healed in Jesus name. Do better with your kids, you will feel better. Jesus loves you. Sending you hugs 🤗
God bless Apostle Femi and Pastor Mimie, they're such a blessing. They know religion isn't just about spirituality, it involves all aspects of life. And they're focusing on everything aspect.
You are a strong woman. Being open about issues like this takes courage, I pray you heal, and I pray you experience love and pleasure. I thank God for fighting the urge to take advantage of young girls, and believe me I had many opportunities, ladies trusted me, others even offered themselves but I just never had the courage and hearing this am grateful I didn't because I can't live with myself knowing I put someone through something like this. It's disheartening. God help us.
I thought of having her on the show again. When she's completely recovered also. So hearing Apostle mention same is profound. God bless Adek, and perfect her journey. God truly bless and reward Apostle Femi and ministry. I'm a life that is being blessed
What a soul. What a beautiful, delightful soul. Jesus is so proud of you. You've no idea what your courage has done to the body of Christ. There are many souls the Holy-Spirit will direct to this video at the time appointed. So thank you for being so real. Also... God doesn't use people and cast them away. I've never seen the righteous forsaken. How persuaded I am, that soon you'll be sharing tips to women in similar positions, on how to derive pleasure in their marriages after trauma. I'm proud of you. Much so. Thank you for being real❤️🔥
I may not relate to her story 100% but I really love her openness and realness in dealing with her trauma. I pray that the body of Christ will take these things seriously especially in the times we are living in. I am a huge advocate for therapy I pray for her healing.
Church premarital counselling sessions are almost useless because they are handled by people who are too African to be practical. If you have taught a person from childhood how to stay away from sex till marriage, why then wouldn't you teach him/her 'the how' when the time comes? So many things are taken for granted.
The counsellors haven’t even been trained in emotional intelligence. They are hardly versed with the happenings in the different generational era’s. It’s a travesty!
@preyepriscilla9944, This is Apostle Femi Lazarus and he is representing the church as well Yes, there are churches who do not have robust counselling sessions but we also have many churches who have robust counselling sessions. There are churches who have experts engaged in their counselling sessions We need to stop this talking down on the church all the time
During my own the guy said once in a while you need to slap this women yo remind them of yheir place,you know they talk too much. This one na marriage counselor oh and his wife too is also a marriage counselor. Chai!!!!
To have known you personally and seen how passionate you are with young ones especially the vulnerable ones yet you've been battling all these, You're strong. God bless you sis 💕
The Church is at a stage where we have to be open to therapy. Thank you Pastor Femi for this. As a therapist, I find many Christians are struggling and are shy of saying that they are in therapy for fear of being called faithless.
The biblical basis of therapy is Romans 12:2- Transformation comes from renewing your mind. CBT helps renew the mind Old testament: There is safety in the multitude of counsellors. Use these to help them break the barrier Many of us are just religious and don't really base their beliefs on the scriptures.
Thank you so much @adekbassey for voicing out on my behalf , you've said everything, I had FGM as an infant, I just found out last 2 month, some of the things you mentioned as side effects of rape, are the things am going through now , with the mindset that an HEALED. But now, I know am not, I need help. God bless you papa for this online training you are about to have for us. I can't wait for it to commence
Aah Apostle Ghana is a country oo😂😂😂..every story on this platform has a different effect❤️one thing I am learning so far is there’s nothing God cannot restore
Hmmmmmm! My heart bleeds for survivors. Justice without healing will lead to re-traumatizing the survivors. A lot of people don’t believe survivors rather they blame. Thank you for sharing your story. And for the turning your pain to a rescue mission. God bless and perfect your healing.
This is sad but an amazing story. The African community needs to talk more, there's a lot of damage done to pple, hence the rate of divorce. I know a friend's wife in her 60's, and still having intimacy issues with her 64yo husband, married for abt 27yrs and together for over 30yrs. So, I hear u Adek, as ur name, so are u, and God will heal u, in Jesus Mighty Name, amen 🙏🏽 ❤
I understand her trying to protect her parents, not wanting them to have such an image of you, or add that to their already hard life, it's just like you're trying to add more pain to the pains and difficulty you have already seen,. That was how I felt too. So I understand why she felt the need to protect, which I later understood that it's a dysfunctionality. God will bless you sir, for how much your teachings have helped me
Church counselling... that's another topic honestly. Anytime I remember our church counselling, I just shake my head. They tried but.. sigh...we were literally going through a textbook and reading from it. Then some facilitators would get upset when people don't contribute or engage in class. Most of the couples could not engage cos they feared judgement and rejection. Many grew up in the church and knew how information spread. You could see it in their eyes or hear it in their voices. Nobody wanted to be reported or gossiped about to their parents. It was simply not a safe space. I had newly joined the church so I could observe as an outsider and watch the dynamics. The facilitators were busy couples with busy lives who simply volunteered to 'counsel' new couples. While this is a noble gesture, I believe it's too serious a matter to be handled this way. Churches should actually invest in and pay Therapists; both mental and sex therapists that help remove the veil of ignorance, hypocrisy and judgement that tends to thrive behind smiles and snide remarks in such spaces. The presence of professionals will ensure openness, honesty, incite curiosity and understanding. If it comes to requesting some kind of fee from the couples themselves or getting older couples in the church to contribute to this cause in particular, then do so. She's so brave for speaking up. What she needs is real therapy. Even her husband needs therapy where a professional can help to hold space for him to open up and be listened to, where the professional can help break the religious beliefs both of them may have around sex, learn to understand their own body-clock, learn to accept themselves and manage the trauma of rape. Healing is a journey and many of us are still in our journey however what is critical is taking the right step to begin the journey. I'm happy she's in the right space to receive knowledge, thank you Pastor Femi Lazarus
Hmmm Institute of Trauma Recovery. What an Intentional System!! Thank you so much Apostle For this Kind of Unique and Exceptional Contribution to the body of Christ. I couldn't help but Comment..
My heart breaks for this young woman but I'm so grateful for how God transformed her trauma and made her a voice. I'm also excited for her total healing, we love you dear sis ❤
What a story. God heal you perfectly. I will love to partner with this young lady in the work she does. Nigeria needs education about the impact of sexual abuse on survivors and also educating the male about the importance of consent.
This is my first time commenting on any RUclips page. 😢😢😢😢This is typically me,once raped and facing a lot in marriage even after ten years of marriage. I can relate probably to all that she has said,I pray the Lord heal me and help me too😢😢😢😢. She is true about everything.mine lead to my mother's dealth,after marriage too.😢😢😢😢😢
What an inspiring story. She's a phenomenal young lady. I just love her strength. I pray the Lord makes you whole again according to His word in 1 Peter 5:10 in the mighty Name of Jesus, Amen
God bless you Adek. I got so emotional today, I can't just control myself. You are indeed a fighter and you will win in Jesus name. I love your spirit and tenacity ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I believe the first step to healing is sharing with trusted people of God that don’t judge. Thank you pastor Femi Lazarus for creating a platform like this. Most churches have failed in this. Most highly respected pple in churches judge easily leaving the victim more frustrated and 50 steps backward from healing.
Apostle, God bless you sir for this episode of "Stories". However, I feel the world is a bit unfair to "boy children". A lot of attentions are given to rape incidents against female gender. Do you know male gender also suffer similar scenario at the tender age. Perhaps, because when they grow up they are the gender chasing the ladies, the world feels they have no pain. Most bad guys out there become who they are because they were sexually abused at some point. I suffered this at the age of six when my dad accommodated some elderly cousins in our house. They were far older and they introduced us to having sex with them. Up until now, my parents had never heard this story from us because we were not proud of the experience. Thank God we met Christ earlier in life after that experience. Knowing Christ help us to contain our sanity and sexual purity till we got married. For me, only my wife heard that story from me after our wedding. Please sir, beam your searchlight also on sexual abuse of the boy child. A disoriented boy will grow up to become an abnormal adult. Thanks for the good work
Please, how can I contact you? Email only Sir. I need someone I can discuss this with. I will give more information later once we are in contact. Can I get your email address?
I cried,oh yes. Your husband needs to tell his story,God bless him immensely, nothing beats marrying a godly man. Your children will celebrate you. Thank you for speaking out
It was a pleasure meeting you sir at my deepest point of pain. I kept hearing God say 'multitude of counselling'... thank God for ongoing therapy'. Never knew I had years or ongoing trauma... The Lord began dealing with the core of the past. Thank God for pastor Mimi also😭.
Oh yes pastor! Every of your story has it’s uniqueness. You’re a blessing to the society. 👍👍👍 May the Lord keep blessing your home and protect you sir.
Thank you for the courage to share such intimate details. It must have taken a lot. May you be healed totally and may your home be whole. God bless your husband and strengthen him. In Jesus name.
I didn't go through rape but giving birth to my first child reduced my libido for sex and I had to pray severally about it because my husband started complaining. The more I prayed, the better my libido became and it's now better. Let's learn to pray about everything and anything and you don't have to be in a praying position before you pray. I pray and speak in tongue on the road, in my kitchen, bathroom while working.
This is so touching. Thank Apostle Femi Lazarus. The lady is strong enough to share her traumatic experience. I pray God to heal her permanently. It's heart touching.
I wish we could have French subtitles. I am trusting God for healing in the life of my fiancée. She doesn’t speak good English. I would love her to watch and listen to anything Apostle Femi Lazarus. I only try to interpret to her as much as I can.
I can relate to all she's saying, except the marriage part. Wholesome Sexuality is a RUclips channel that has really help with my mind on sexual matters. I remember how the Holy Spirit had to insist that i subscribe to the channel and renew my mind just because i had a bad view of sex and even as a single lady i didn't want to have sex in marriage. Am grateful that God has been leading me through my healing process now before marriage, by connecting me to the right voices. There is hope.
Well done pastor. You’re doing a great job.👏👏👏 Her story is so touching. I really feel her pain. I pray she comes out of the trauma sooner than later. God will heal her permanently. I appreciate her husband for the understanding, and patience. God will put smile on their faces and they will have victorious testimony with beautiful Children. God bless you Pst and more anointing IJN.
Her story is closely similar to mine. It's been 10 years, and I'm still yet to heal from the trauma 😢 and I still haven't been able to forgive my abuser. It's been so hard, but I know someday I will find my healing and the strength to share my story too. Sorry about what you've had to go through, Adek.
Hmmm This is a whole lot. Tito the writer had an experience similar to this too. She called it Vaginismus. She said her deliverance started when she watched 50 shades of gray. She said she didn’t know it was psychological until she watched that particular scene where the therapist was telling the young woman to start re engineering her mind by affirming she loves sex, she wants to have sex, etc…..
This is such a heartbreaking story. I am happy she has risen from the pain of the occurrence of her younger years. I pray that God will heal her completely and grant her and her husband the opportunity to enjoy the conjugal joys of marriage. Thank you for bringing her on here Sir
From my uncle(a Reverend minister, my pastor (same pastor that baptized and confirmed me), my teacher (the first person I ever confined in to tell my story), and so on. I only can tell what I have been going through for the past years of my life. I am still battling with chain PTSD’s and I can say for a fact that it isn’t easy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I pray that God heals me and give me the grace to forgive completely 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Thank you, sister, for sharing your story...may God perfect all that concerns you, IJN. For your husband, he is one in a million may. God bless and heal him, IJN
God bless you Pastor. God will continue to enrich your ministry sir, in Jesus name. God bless you young lady. God bless your husband too. God will perfect your healing and make your marriage really enjoyable for both you and your husband in Jesus name. I appreciate your openness and sincerity. I rejoice with you that God has brought you to where by his abundant grace, you will find the help and total healing that you need. It is well with you.
I’m so sorry she went through all that. She definitely has ptsd from all what has happened, God is good but she needs therapy. I know someone who has ptsd, everyone was saying believe in God, God will heal you. Yes, God healed him and helped him to stay alive but he still had to go for therapy where different methods that will suit his healing were applied, and I can tell therapy really helped him. He is a Christian and he is better now, and he is still going for therapy. There are different Therapy for different cases, sex therapy, depression therapy, and so on. So let her go for therapy and yes God will completely heal her.
I want to personally thank Apt Femi for this story platform we're people like us can hear and know what people like you my pretty lady goes through. May God heal you, and please, sir, kindly support her. ❤❤❤
Thank you Thank you Thank you Mrs Adekbassey for sharing your story so inspiring . One of your statement “find your purpose “ struck a cord in my spirit , I needed that word and it came right on time. Thank you Thank you APL for this Platform God will keep you sir.
May every one get a chance to listen to this life touching story thank you sir for sharing this with us may God enlarge your territory more words of wisdom n knowledge 🙏
I don't think this show should end any time soon because most people who come on the show are still in their healing process and maybe in three to five years time their healing process must have been complete so they can then come back and tell the "NOW I'M HEALED" story Each story serves as a blessing God bless you Apostle for such initiative 🙏
Her heart is so pure, I'm so happy that God kept on protecting her and just shielding her. I cried aah the pain the devil puts people through. I feel heart broken by the evil that man did to this to her, I hope he gets what he deserves soon Very vile he is
This is very emotional. I can relate with what you are saying. The Lord will heal you completely. I have passed through this stage. You are very very brave sis. God bless you real good.
For me I went into self destructive mode for years but I'm better but there are triggers of the memory from time to time, I have to reassure myself that if nobody loves me I must love myself and do good for my health and life 😊.
This is very powerful. Thank you Apostle for making this happen and thank you ADC for sharing your story. This is indeed transforming and so inspiring for others going through similar situations you've been through.
Thank You @FEMI LAZARUS for the opportunity to share and this is the beginning of my permanent healing .
Thank you everyone for your prayers and kind words , together we can join hands to help every RAPE SURVIVORs and FGM survivors get their healing out there
You're really strong.
But God in His infinite mercies will grant you rest. Rest on all sides. Amen.
You're not alone Ma'am ❤🎉
Amen. Thank you for sharing.
You are a strong fighter Adek. God has started something today in your life.
@@adekbassey May the Lord Perfect Your Healing.... You're Loved
The lady that flew down from Lagos was really an angel.
Indeed God works in mysterious ways.
May the Lord heal you completely
God bless her husband, one of the best gifts God has given her.
God understands our pain and knows how to compensate us.
Being compliant has helped me before and I didn't even know what it was called then😅.
This guy tried to rap me then I was about 17years and I tried to fight him and realized that I couldn't and the environment was not the one I could cry for help,😢 so I just whispered a word of prayer in my heart that the Holy Spirit should make a way for me and that's how I just told him that why did he not talk to me like a gentleman would talk to his lady? I told him that we would not enjoy it if we rush over it, I told him that if we plan it before doing we will enjoy it more and in a better place and he just said you are right. Jesus!!!!!
That's how he let me go with the agreement to meet two days after .Oh God of signs and wonders I disappeared never talked to him or seen him.
What this lady is talking about is something very serious and that incident still traumatized me till date 😢 and it has an effect on my sexual life 😢😢. Just imagine it happened, I don't even know if I could have survived it.
Thank you for sharing and may God heal you and bless your home 🙏
We thank God for that. Truly the holy spirit is with us, even in our darkest moment.
Jesus....
I cried uncontrollably when she said at some point she felt it may have been better if she gave herself up for sex after the rape, maybe she would have overcome the sexual issues she is facing now.
I cried
I cried
I cried
Ahhh devillllll
Because some persons are feeling they wish they did not go through with sex after their abuse but here the devil wants her to feel it probably would have been better. But obviously the choice she made not going through with it was one of the best decisions ever.
God we hold onto you for grace, strength and direction.
God will completely heal you ma'am.
Amen
A man in the church abused her, men in the club protected her. A major pointer that we shouldn't be judgemental. 🤔
I agree with this take away
Hmm
A major point, we should know that men go to church to find innocent and ignorant girls.
Listen to understand..... She said she refused to pursue the Legal part of the rape case .
So it wasn't the church that protected the guy, it was her that decided so.
@@ekwoanyafavourRead to understand before you drop comments
Therapy is not a sign that the holySpirit is not powerful.
Kai 🔥
This is such a powerful eye opening statement for me. I'm unlearning to relearn 😊
Even scriptures say we should be transformed by renewing our minds. Therapy esp CBT are based on the principles of renewing the mind.
Scripture says there is safety in a multitude of counsellors.
I wonder why we assume things about God that are even outside his word
Therapy has helped me a lot
My prayer is for the body of Christ to have more leaders like Pastor Femi 😊 what a blessing !!!
Bible says “we overcome the devil by the blood of the lamb and by the words of our testimonies” indeed sharing your testimony brings healing.
This story🥹💕we would be here to listen to her testimony!!! She would carry babies and her home is more than blessed!!!
Thank you Apostle.
This lady is helping others when she is still on her journey of healing from trauma - you don’t have to wait till things are perfect to help others. With the (little) progress you have made, you can reach others and pull them up.
After Dr.Chika’s story, this one is the next. I have learnt one thing from all the stories on here - Christians need to be courageous, and with the help of God, they must FIGHT. It is the only way.
God richly bless your husband!!! kai, it matters who you marry💯 A faithful man who can find🥲
29:30...I also think rape cases should be tried in close courts not open courts. To protect the victim.
Yeah I totally agree with that
@@Gloryivoke😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
I'm not sure how it is in Nigeria, but in the Western world, they are only tried in camera (private hearings) unless the survivor wants the hearing to occur in an open court.
I agree!
Very true, but our legislators are more concerned about changing election laws
I don’t think I have ever listened to anyone as real as ADEK, I pray for your complete healing and wholeness ❤❤❤. God bless your husband for being patient with you
Amen 🙏
That lady was an angel in human form
Just being able to come out and talk about this shows how strong you are. Took my 20+ years to come out and when I did I felt i could have kept it to myself. People are very judgmental and not supportive at all. That feeling of guilt and worthless hits differently. There's hope for you and I. Someday we will find our healing
I'm proud of you sis, at least you came out and freed yourself mentally. Keep strong an know you are believed and God will continue to bless an keep strong❤
I cried watching this. God will perfect your life and marriage. God will make you a new creature soonest.
you make me cry, sister Adek but one thing i know is that all your tears has come to an end today, for having a contact with pastor Femi lazarus, i am writing these from Canada, you pain has ended, in jesus name.
Jesus*
Jesus*
Thank you so much Ma
You're absolutely right 👍
Amenooooooooooooooo
Don't pretend like you don't see this, may your mom live more than 80 years ❤️
Amen
Amen 🙏
Amen
Amen 🙏 God bless you 🙏 🙌
Amen
Sometimes you may desire someone who doesn't have the capacity for your journey.. deep. Very deep
You are very correct
She's so so so real... This also happens to ladies who have wicked fathers... Fathers who don't know how to show love to their girls... Those girls grow up looking for love in the wrong places and they lose feelings too... This feels like r-pe too. A father should be the girl's first love... Christianity needs to be real and sincere not just biblical quotes and interpretation. Our heaven starts from here... Trauma is real.
True sis🎉
💯💯💯💯💯
My dad used to beat me up like a thief and press my neck
I started looking for love the wrong places and wrong people I kinda regret it
@@FaithOrlu-j2t you just have to find a way to heal... Imagine being tied with electric wires hands and feet,naked with growing chest,thrown in the dark cockroach filled toilet overnight with a lacerated body, siblings avoiding you like the plague... the list is so long...It's so painful but we always gloss over it but deep down the betrayal hurts. Especially those who do not have the opportunity to be apologized to before death... Sis, you are loved,be healed in Jesus name. Do better with your kids, you will feel better. Jesus loves you. Sending you hugs 🤗
Anti Christ continue with your Lucifer and leave Christianity alone
God bless Apostle Femi and Pastor Mimie, they're such a blessing. They know religion isn't just about spirituality, it involves all aspects of life. And they're focusing on everything aspect.
The end part of this is so wholesome. You have an amazing husband. May God keep your home and heal you. God bless you Apostle
You are a strong woman. Being open about issues like this takes courage, I pray you heal, and I pray you experience love and pleasure. I thank God for fighting the urge to take advantage of young girls, and believe me I had many opportunities, ladies trusted me, others even offered themselves but I just never had the courage and hearing this am grateful I didn't because I can't live with myself knowing I put someone through something like this. It's disheartening. God help us.
Godbless you dear.
God bless you
God bless you
Seriously parents needs to be intentional about their children. There are battles they fight alone.
Exactly
Healing comes when you share your story. Having a purpose attached to it, speeds the recovery.
For rape cases, telling the story really helps facilitate the healing process. I pray she heals real fast.
I thought of having her on the show again. When she's completely recovered also. So hearing Apostle mention same is profound. God bless Adek, and perfect her journey. God truly bless and reward Apostle Femi and ministry. I'm a life that is being blessed
What a soul. What a beautiful, delightful soul. Jesus is so proud of you. You've no idea what your courage has done to the body of Christ. There are many souls the Holy-Spirit will direct to this video at the time appointed. So thank you for being so real.
Also... God doesn't use people and cast them away. I've never seen the righteous forsaken. How persuaded I am, that soon you'll be sharing tips to women in similar positions, on how to derive pleasure in their marriages after trauma. I'm proud of you. Much so. Thank you for being real❤️🔥
She is so beautiful.
Seriously
She's so brave. Thank you for sharing this painful experience. It's such an encouragement
"Love is not a feeling it's commitment " kaii🔥♥️
God bless you sir
I may not relate to her story 100% but I really love her openness and realness in dealing with her trauma. I pray that the body of Christ will take these things seriously especially in the times we are living in. I am a huge advocate for therapy I pray for her healing.
Church premarital counselling sessions are almost useless because they are handled by people who are too African to be practical. If you have taught a person from childhood how to stay away from sex till marriage, why then wouldn't you teach him/her 'the how' when the time comes? So many things are taken for granted.
The counsellors haven’t even been trained in emotional intelligence. They are hardly versed with the happenings in the different generational era’s. It’s a travesty!
@preyepriscilla9944, This is Apostle Femi Lazarus and he is representing the church as well
Yes, there are churches who do not have robust counselling sessions but we also have many churches who have robust counselling sessions.
There are churches who have experts engaged in their counselling sessions
We need to stop this talking down on the church all the time
Useless is an understatement
During my own the guy said once in a while you need to slap this women yo remind them of yheir place,you know they talk too much. This one na marriage counselor oh and his wife too is also a marriage counselor. Chai!!!!
@@chasm87haaaaa😢
Apostle Femi Lazarus thanks for using your platform to heal broken and shattered hearts. I pray for total restoration for your guest
To have known you personally and seen how passionate you are with young ones especially the vulnerable ones yet you've been battling all these, You're strong. God bless you sis 💕
The Church is at a stage where we have to be open to therapy. Thank you Pastor Femi for this. As a therapist, I find many Christians are struggling and are shy of saying that they are in therapy for fear of being called faithless.
The biblical basis of therapy is Romans 12:2- Transformation comes from renewing your mind. CBT helps renew the mind
Old testament: There is safety in the multitude of counsellors.
Use these to help them break the barrier
Many of us are just religious and don't really base their beliefs on the scriptures.
They think it is the work of the Holy Ghost pirit but the Holy Ghost is using humans to help humans
Thank youuuuu
Adek it's all in your mind, the victory you seek is all in your mind, with God's help you will overcome... don't give up.
Thank you so much @adekbassey for voicing out on my behalf , you've said everything, I had FGM as an infant, I just found out last 2 month, some of the things you mentioned as side effects of rape, are the things am going through now , with the mindset that an HEALED.
But now, I know am not, I need help.
God bless you papa for this online training you are about to have for us.
I can't wait for it to commence
Aah Apostle Ghana is a country oo😂😂😂..every story on this platform has a different effect❤️one thing I am learning so far is there’s nothing God cannot restore
This is touching and it is incredible... Can I volunteer for her NGO? I am a web developer and graphic designer... Any way I can help
Hope your comment reaches her.
@christianmaterial2417 I reached to her organization on IG and they've responded
The pressure of being a perfect child (girl child) is crazy..😒🤦🏾♀️
Really crazy😭😭😭😭
In an African home! Hmmmm. Not easy
And maybe a first born (sighs)
@@babygirl8974 truth but not anymore because enlightenment is coming up. Being a scape goat is becoming outdated to the glory of God.
I'm telling you
It's something else and it's so heartbreaking. reasons why most youth stay away from home.
Hmmmmmm!
My heart bleeds for survivors.
Justice without healing will lead to re-traumatizing the survivors.
A lot of people don’t believe survivors rather they blame.
Thank you for sharing your story. And for the turning your pain to a rescue mission.
God bless and perfect your healing.
This is sad but an amazing story. The African community needs to talk more, there's a lot of damage done to pple, hence the rate of divorce. I know a friend's wife in her 60's, and still having intimacy issues with her 64yo husband, married for abt 27yrs and together for over 30yrs. So, I hear u Adek, as ur name, so are u, and God will heal u, in Jesus Mighty Name, amen 🙏🏽 ❤
Institute of Trauma Recovery, that’s right Apostle! More Grace to you and your team.
Swears
I understand her trying to protect her parents, not wanting them to have such an image of you, or add that to their already hard life, it's just like you're trying to add more pain to the pains and difficulty you have already seen,. That was how I felt too. So I understand why she felt the need to protect, which I later understood that it's a dysfunctionality. God will bless you sir, for how much your teachings have helped me
Church counselling... that's another topic honestly. Anytime I remember our church counselling, I just shake my head. They tried but.. sigh...we were literally going through a textbook and reading from it. Then some facilitators would get upset when people don't contribute or engage in class. Most of the couples could not engage cos they feared judgement and rejection. Many grew up in the church and knew how information spread. You could see it in their eyes or hear it in their voices. Nobody wanted to be reported or gossiped about to their parents.
It was simply not a safe space.
I had newly joined the church so I could observe as an outsider and watch the dynamics.
The facilitators were busy couples with busy lives who simply volunteered to 'counsel' new couples. While this is a noble gesture, I believe it's too serious a matter to be handled this way. Churches should actually invest in and pay Therapists; both mental and sex therapists that help remove the veil of ignorance, hypocrisy and judgement that tends to thrive behind smiles and snide remarks in such spaces. The presence of professionals will ensure openness, honesty, incite curiosity and understanding. If it comes to requesting some kind of fee from the couples themselves or getting older couples in the church to contribute to this cause in particular, then do so.
She's so brave for speaking up. What she needs is real therapy. Even her husband needs therapy where a professional can help to hold space for him to open up and be listened to, where the professional can help break the religious beliefs both of them may have around sex, learn to understand their own body-clock, learn to accept themselves and manage the trauma of rape. Healing is a journey and many of us are still in our journey however what is critical is taking the right step to begin the journey. I'm happy she's in the right space to receive knowledge, thank you Pastor Femi Lazarus
Hmmm
Institute of Trauma Recovery.
What an
Intentional System!!
Thank you so much Apostle For this Kind of Unique and Exceptional Contribution to the body of Christ.
I couldn't help but Comment..
Institute of trauma recovery. This is God sent.
I have realised that victims don't have money for therapy most of the time.
My heart breaks for this young woman but I'm so grateful for how God transformed her trauma and made her a voice. I'm also excited for her total healing, we love you dear sis ❤
What a story. God heal you perfectly. I will love to partner with this young lady in the work she does. Nigeria needs education about the impact of sexual abuse on survivors and also educating the male about the importance of consent.
This is my first time commenting on any RUclips page.
😢😢😢😢This is typically me,once raped and facing a lot in marriage even after ten years of marriage.
I can relate probably to all that she has said,I pray the Lord heal me and help me too😢😢😢😢.
She is true about everything.mine lead to my mother's dealth,after marriage too.😢😢😢😢😢
So sorry ma'am. I love you
❤❤❤ may God heal and console you.
It is well with you ma
Sorry for what happened. May the lord heal you..
So sorry
What an inspiring story. She's a phenomenal young lady. I just love her strength. I pray the Lord makes you whole again according to His word in 1 Peter 5:10 in the mighty Name of Jesus, Amen
You will definitely walk through it, overcome and come out strong.
You are so real.
God bless your loving, considerate, Godly and patient husband.
God bless you Adek.
I got so emotional today, I can't just control myself.
You are indeed a fighter and you will win in Jesus name.
I love your spirit and tenacity ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I believe the first step to healing is sharing with trusted people of God that don’t judge. Thank you pastor Femi Lazarus for creating a platform like this. Most churches have failed in this. Most highly respected pple in churches judge easily leaving the victim more frustrated and 50 steps backward from healing.
Apostle, God bless you sir for this episode of "Stories". However, I feel the world is a bit unfair to "boy children". A lot of attentions are given to rape incidents against female gender. Do you know male gender also suffer similar scenario at the tender age. Perhaps, because when they grow up they are the gender chasing the ladies, the world feels they have no pain. Most bad guys out there become who they are because they were sexually abused at some point. I suffered this at the age of six when my dad accommodated some elderly cousins in our house. They were far older and they introduced us to having sex with them. Up until now, my parents had never heard this story from us because we were not proud of the experience. Thank God we met Christ earlier in life after that experience. Knowing Christ help us to contain our sanity and sexual purity till we got married. For me, only my wife heard that story from me after our wedding. Please sir, beam your searchlight also on sexual abuse of the boy child. A disoriented boy will grow up to become an abnormal adult. Thanks for the good work
God bless you for this
Please, how can I contact you? Email only Sir. I need someone I can discuss this with. I will give more information later once we are in contact. Can I get your email address?
@femilazarus
Please look at this comment. It is a major concern for me and it is what I gradually work on.
@femilazarus please look into this as this is a major issue and my focus is also on sex abuse of the boy child.
Sometimes most men don't come out to talk about it. I believe if there are men that are willing to share their story, he will publish it
She has fought a good fight. Thank you for sharing. Your struggle is our struggle. I'll personally be praying for your complete heal.
Lord have mercy and heal Adek in the name of Jesus.
I cried,oh yes. Your husband needs to tell his story,God bless him immensely, nothing beats marrying a godly man. Your children will celebrate you. Thank you for speaking out
For real
We really need to hear from the man
To manage a situation of this magnitude can only be by the spirit of God
I pray he come to tell us how
It was a pleasure meeting you sir at my deepest point of pain. I kept hearing God say 'multitude of counselling'... thank God for ongoing therapy'. Never knew I had years or ongoing trauma... The Lord began dealing with the core of the past. Thank God for pastor Mimi also😭.
Oh yes pastor! Every of your story has it’s uniqueness. You’re a blessing to the society. 👍👍👍 May the Lord keep blessing your home and protect you sir.
Thank you for the courage to share such intimate details. It must have taken a lot. May you be healed totally and may your home be whole. God bless your husband and strengthen him. In Jesus name.
Can totally relate to her story.
Just wished sm1 reached out to me that period of my life.
Thank God for His healing..
Stigmatization has always been a problem for rape victims in Africa.
Thank you Pastor for your advice to the Men. Patience, preparation, foreplay goes a long way.
I didn't go through rape but giving birth to my first child reduced my libido for sex and I had to pray severally about it because my husband started complaining. The more I prayed, the better my libido became and it's now better. Let's learn to pray about everything and anything and you don't have to be in a praying position before you pray. I pray and speak in tongue on the road, in my kitchen, bathroom while working.
This is so touching. Thank Apostle Femi Lazarus. The lady is strong enough to share her traumatic experience. I pray God to heal her permanently. It's heart touching.
This woman has been through a lot...May God perfect her all round healing in Jesus name
Adek you were blessed with an amazing husband. May God uphold you both. ❤❤❤
I wish we could have French subtitles. I am trusting God for healing in the life of my fiancée. She doesn’t speak good English. I would love her to watch and listen to anything Apostle Femi Lazarus. I only try to interpret to her as much as I can.
You can set your caption to generated in French.
Good to discover that. Thank a lot
I can relate to all she's saying, except the marriage part. Wholesome Sexuality is a RUclips channel that has really help with my mind on sexual matters. I remember how the Holy Spirit had to insist that i subscribe to the channel and renew my mind just because i had a bad view of sex and even as a single lady i didn't want to have sex in marriage. Am grateful that God has been leading me through my healing process now before marriage, by connecting me to the right voices. There is hope.
This is really touching
You are a strong woman
Keep being strong ma
You are loved and God will keep on upholding you
Sending love from here❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well done pastor. You’re doing a great job.👏👏👏 Her story is so touching. I really feel her pain. I pray she comes out of the trauma sooner than later. God will heal her permanently. I appreciate her husband for the understanding, and patience. God will put smile on their faces and they will have victorious testimony with beautiful Children. God bless you Pst and more anointing IJN.
I have really blessed listening to Stories. God bless you Apostle and the people with the experiences.
Her story is closely similar to mine. It's been 10 years, and I'm still yet to heal from the trauma 😢 and I still haven't been able to forgive my abuser. It's been so hard, but I know someday I will find my healing and the strength to share my story too. Sorry about what you've had to go through, Adek.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, God will definitely help you and see you through Amen 🙏
The Lord knows it all. He will heal you ❤
God will heal and restore your joy. Surrender to Him and let Him do His work
Hmmm
This is a whole lot.
Tito the writer had an experience similar to this too.
She called it Vaginismus.
She said her deliverance started when she watched 50 shades of gray. She said she didn’t know it was psychological until she watched that particular scene where the therapist was telling the young woman to start re engineering her mind by affirming she loves sex, she wants to have sex, etc…..
God will heal you permanently Adek, thanks for the courage of sharing. Apostle sir more grace in Jesus name.
Hmm... this is deep 😮
Your healing is complete and permanent in Jesus name
One of the thing that stood out for me is to "SPEAK OUT"
Thank you for sharing your story on this healing platform.
God bless you for sharing this story ❤❤❤
This is such a heartbreaking story. I am happy she has risen from the pain of the occurrence of her younger years.
I pray that God will heal her completely and grant her and her husband the opportunity to enjoy the conjugal joys of marriage.
Thank you for bringing her on here Sir
From my uncle(a Reverend minister, my pastor (same pastor that baptized and confirmed me), my teacher (the first person I ever confined in to tell my story), and so on. I only can tell what I have been going through for the past years of my life. I am still battling with chain PTSD’s and I can say for a fact that it isn’t easy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I pray that God heals me and give me the grace to forgive completely 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
God will perfect all that concerns you in Jesus name amen 🙏🙏🙏❤
The Lord will heal you completely in Jesus name.
You mean these chain of people violated you? I'm definitely speechless 😮. I hope you get your healing one day and soon ❤
Wow!I pray God's grace upon you sis.
AMEN 🙏
Never gets tired of seeking for help from the right places
Apostle, please this lady should be provided therapy. She's still dealing with a lot. God bless you both!
Thank you, sister, for sharing your story...may God perfect all that concerns you, IJN. For your husband, he is one in a million may. God bless and heal him, IJN
Thank you @adekbassey for sharing.
Thank you @Apostle Femi for this platform.
I wish I could be part of this, i am also trusting God for healing.
I wish I can ever have d boldness n courage to share my own story publicly like dis🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️😢😢😢😢😢😢
You can ask for your face to be blurred.
Take your time, your well being is more important. God will perfect it and may you come out whole
God bless you Pastor. God will continue to enrich your ministry sir, in Jesus name.
God bless you young lady. God bless your husband too. God will perfect your healing and make your marriage really enjoyable for both you and your husband in Jesus name. I appreciate your openness and sincerity. I rejoice with you that God has brought you to where by his abundant grace, you will find the help and total healing that you need. It is well with you.
I’m so sorry she went through all that.
She definitely has ptsd from all what has happened, God is good but she needs therapy. I know someone who has ptsd, everyone was saying believe in God, God will heal you. Yes, God healed him and helped him to stay alive but he still had to go for therapy where different methods that will suit his healing were applied, and I can tell therapy really helped him. He is a Christian and he is better now, and he is still going for therapy. There are different Therapy for different cases, sex therapy, depression therapy, and so on. So let her go for therapy and yes God will completely heal her.
This is so emotional. I pray the Lord help you and yours. Waoh!!!
Apostle Thank you for stories
I want to personally thank Apt Femi for this story platform we're people like us can hear and know what people like you my pretty lady goes through. May God heal you, and please, sir, kindly support her. ❤❤❤
Thank you Thank you Thank you Mrs Adekbassey for sharing your story so inspiring .
One of your statement “find your purpose “ struck a cord in my spirit , I needed that word and it came right on time. Thank you
Thank you APL for this Platform
God will keep you sir.
The good lord will protect your darling husband, and keep your family strong and fulfill in Jesus name
May every one get a chance to listen to this life touching story thank you sir for sharing this with us may God enlarge your territory more words of wisdom n knowledge 🙏
Hmmmm..... Understanding a woman and what they go through is key.
I don't think this show should end any time soon because most people who come on the show are still in their healing process and maybe in three to five years time their healing process must have been complete so they can then come back and tell the "NOW I'M HEALED" story
Each story serves as a blessing God bless you Apostle for such initiative 🙏
Her heart is so pure, I'm so happy that God kept on protecting her and just shielding her. I cried aah the pain the devil puts people through. I feel heart broken by the evil that man did to this to her, I hope he gets what he deserves soon Very vile he is
She is my hero....... I was a victim of such and somehow worse but i hope on God for divine healing God bless you Mr Femi Lazarus
Our little girls need to hear this story.
This is very emotional. I can relate with what you are saying. The Lord will heal you completely. I have passed through this stage. You are very very brave sis. God bless you real good.
For me I went into self destructive mode for years but I'm better but there are triggers of the memory from time to time, I have to reassure myself that if nobody loves me I must love myself and do good for my health and life 😊.
This is very powerful. Thank you Apostle for making this happen and thank you ADC for sharing your story. This is indeed transforming and so inspiring for others going through similar situations you've been through.