I aged out of the foster care system and was a very quiet, nerdy girl who really liked anime and manga and had mostly very very religious, conservative foster parents. All of them were very focused on integrating me into their world - going to church, watching Christian tv shows and movies they approved of and doing things with their families. None interested in what I liked and were instead focused on changing what I wanted to do. This happens more often with kids who are in the system and like rap music or video games. I think when kids really should be moved is when there are these types of very major disconnects where this is really not working and just having a bed and food is all that a home offers. I wasn't moved since I was doing ok in school and I didn't have behavior issues. In those homes I was in longer, I was moved twice when families quit fostering and it was really clear fostering wasn't for them. There was one time when I had been in a home for over 9 months and I was having a very difficult time and my foster mom came into my room and started talking about Jesus and I had had it and vented at her that Jesus doesn't exist and it's just insane how she acts like Jesus can fix this problem I was having and she just walked out and was so frustrated. It was a few weeks later that I was moved and there was more things that happened (I refused to go to church and bible camp since I was so fed up with the religious nonsense), but I think that really sums up the major disconnect a lot of kids feel with foster parents. It's like they live in entirely different worlds. It did take me at least 6 months to finally open up to foster parents - and say how I really felt and that was when they had me removed. When I barely said anything, they were fine with me since I seemed like I was who they wanted me to be, but as soon as I finally started to talk to them, they wanted me gone.
Thank you so much for being so bold to share your experience being in foster care. It really helps to hear from people who have lived experiences & it helps to better understand where you're coming from. I think we have to always put ourselves in the child's shoes and it's so important to take an interest in the things they like as well. I'm sorry it was a struggle at times for you :(. You're amazing!
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I aged out of the foster care system and was a very quiet, nerdy girl who really liked anime and manga and had mostly very very religious, conservative foster parents. All of them were very focused on integrating me into their world - going to church, watching Christian tv shows and movies they approved of and doing things with their families. None interested in what I liked and were instead focused on changing what I wanted to do. This happens more often with kids who are in the system and like rap music or video games. I think when kids really should be moved is when there are these types of very major disconnects where this is really not working and just having a bed and food is all that a home offers. I wasn't moved since I was doing ok in school and I didn't have behavior issues. In those homes I was in longer, I was moved twice when families quit fostering and it was really clear fostering wasn't for them. There was one time when I had been in a home for over 9 months and I was having a very difficult time and my foster mom came into my room and started talking about Jesus and I had had it and vented at her that Jesus doesn't exist and it's just insane how she acts like Jesus can fix this problem I was having and she just walked out and was so frustrated. It was a few weeks later that I was moved and there was more things that happened (I refused to go to church and bible camp since I was so fed up with the religious nonsense), but I think that really sums up the major disconnect a lot of kids feel with foster parents. It's like they live in entirely different worlds. It did take me at least 6 months to finally open up to foster parents - and say how I really felt and that was when they had me removed. When I barely said anything, they were fine with me since I seemed like I was who they wanted me to be, but as soon as I finally started to talk to them, they wanted me gone.
Thank you so much for being so bold to share your experience being in foster care. It really helps to hear from people who have lived experiences & it helps to better understand where you're coming from. I think we have to always put ourselves in the child's shoes and it's so important to take an interest in the things they like as well. I'm sorry it was a struggle at times for you :(. You're amazing!