Self-sabotage shows up in a bunch of ways you might not recognize as self-sabotage so it’s important to know the most common signs. If any of the signs I mention are you, definitely comment below!
I self-sabotaged recently by doing things to push away the woman I loved (Pretending to be a player, getting Jealous easily, obsessive). I do regret what I've done, and sometimes I wish I could go back and fix them. Unfortunately, I'm no time traveler, and what I've done is done, so the most I can do is fix myself and hope I can do better with the next person. I've begun my journey today and hope that in 10 years, I'm a happier person than I am today. I appreciate knowing that I have this problem, and I'm willing to take the steps to get to recovery.
A girl I was talking to for a month just self-sabotaged a potential relationship. She accused me of using her in one way or another for the 6th time, I've been nothing but honest and open with her not only that but I also put in a lot of effort by trying to really get to know her. After she apologized to me, she told me that she was only kidding and I got mad easily. That was it I was done, I knew I couldn't trust her, and this emotional abuse would only continue to get worse so I told her I'm done playing games and told her goodbye.
Similar situation with me as well she would do things to annoy me then paint me as the bad guy then when I tried to talk things with her maturely she ignores me for 10 days then lies and says it was because she was so busy with work. Then has the audacity to say “I think we’ll be better off as friends if that’s okay” like no absolutely not I didn’t even open the message and I don’t plan on ever messaging her again.
Everyone knows what you're really feeling. Watch my Tedx (if you want) where I explain it: www.ted.com/talks/abby_medcalf_the_real_reason_relationships_fail
You're not alone! If it helps, I just released a full podcast episode on the topic where I dig even deeper on self-sabotage and how we can stop it. It's one of the #1 questions I get from my clients! Here's a link in case you're interested: abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage-what-it-is-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-stop-it/ I also have a blog post on self-sabotage: abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage-what-it-is-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-stop-it-2/ Take care!
I have a self sabotaging partner who is very well aware of the power of mindfulness. As she becomes more skilled in the practice, her strategies to sabotage that become more and more elaborate. She has now become an expert in purposely entering a state of unconsciousness. In a state of consciousness, she will be aware of her behavior and even prophesy the outcome. And then little by little, bit by bit she will sabotage consciousness itself in order to re-enter a state of self sabotage. Gets to the point where the consequences in her life are so over her head, and she becomes genuinely desperate and confused about how she got there and how to get out. When she is conscious she is intimidatingly intuitive. It’s like she can read minds and tell the future. When she is unconscious she even questions mindfulness itself. This leads me to think mindfulness isn’t the answer. But there is a root cause that needs to be addressed. Because any and every solution she has practiced with great success simply become the next target of sabotage.
I wanted to add, sabotaging consciousness has become her main method of self sabotage. She literally kills the gate keeper. The more she does this, the more detrimental the consequences become and the longer she remains in a state of unconsciousness.
Self-sabotage shows up in a bunch of ways you might not recognize as self-sabotage so it’s important to know the most common signs.
If any of the signs I mention are you, definitely comment below!
I self-sabotaged recently by doing things to push away the woman I loved (Pretending to be a player, getting Jealous easily, obsessive). I do regret what I've done, and sometimes I wish I could go back and fix them. Unfortunately, I'm no time traveler, and what I've done is done, so the most I can do is fix myself and hope I can do better with the next person. I've begun my journey today and hope that in 10 years, I'm a happier person than I am today. I appreciate knowing that I have this problem, and I'm willing to take the steps to get to recovery.
A girl I was talking to for a month just self-sabotaged a potential relationship.
She accused me of using her in one way or another for the 6th time, I've been nothing but honest and open with her not only that but I also put in a lot of effort by trying to really get to know her.
After she apologized to me, she told me that she was only kidding and I got mad easily.
That was it I was done, I knew I couldn't trust her, and this emotional abuse would only continue to get worse so I told her I'm done playing games and told her goodbye.
Similar situation with me as well she would do things to annoy me then paint me as the bad guy then when I tried to talk things with her maturely she ignores me for 10 days then lies and says it was because she was so busy with work. Then has the audacity to say “I think we’ll be better off as friends if that’s okay” like no absolutely not I didn’t even open the message and I don’t plan on ever messaging her again.
What if you FEEL anxious but do not act on it and your partner has literally no idea about it
Everyone knows what you're really feeling. Watch my Tedx (if you want) where I explain it: www.ted.com/talks/abby_medcalf_the_real_reason_relationships_fail
I’m so many of these. Ugh I thought maybe just the 1st but ugh so many of them are there.
You're not alone! If it helps, I just released a full podcast episode on the topic where I dig even deeper on self-sabotage and how we can stop it. It's one of the #1 questions I get from my clients! Here's a link in case you're interested: abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage-what-it-is-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-stop-it/
I also have a blog post on self-sabotage: abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage-what-it-is-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-stop-it-2/
Take care!
tearing self down feeeels so good to DARE TO break up
I have both..
I have a self sabotaging partner who is very well aware of the power of mindfulness. As she becomes more skilled in the practice, her strategies to sabotage that become more and more elaborate. She has now become an expert in purposely entering a state of unconsciousness. In a state of consciousness, she will be aware of her behavior and even prophesy the outcome. And then little by little, bit by bit she will sabotage consciousness itself in order to re-enter a state of self sabotage. Gets to the point where the consequences in her life are so over her head, and she becomes genuinely desperate and confused about how she got there and how to get out. When she is conscious she is intimidatingly intuitive. It’s like she can read minds and tell the future. When she is unconscious she even questions mindfulness itself.
This leads me to think mindfulness isn’t the answer. But there is a root cause that needs to be addressed. Because any and every solution she has practiced with great success simply become the next target of sabotage.
I wanted to add, sabotaging consciousness has become her main method of self sabotage. She literally kills the gate keeper. The more she does this, the more detrimental the consequences become and the longer she remains in a state of unconsciousness.
I just pushed my ex away into a rebound relationship.
Omg so helpful and explains so much 😂
Wonderful!
My husband does this about jobs.
Great thank u
You are so welcome!