I'm also same sex attracted guy born and brought up in Methodist family.I'm born again Christian.Since the day I understood about myself these attractions I tried hard to change them through gay conversion therapy offered by Exodus international and naarth.My attractions never changed and in 2016 I became depressed (major depression) and started thinking about suicide. Then God worked(he had been working all the time) in my heart brought my attention to unconditional love and free gift of righteousness. God told me in my heart that heterosexuality is also not his design. Our culture has cheated us saying homosexuality is sin but never told us that God considers heterosexuality also as sin (I'm not talking about attractions but actions ). The problem is natural human loneliness and the desire to be loved. Heterosexuals have avenues like marriage but homosexuals have nothing like that. This creates the incredible injustice for people like me because I can't express my love and attractions to somebody within a legitimate setting like marriage. In my case I don't want to marry a guy I want to marry a girl but I want to tell her before we go further in dating. I don't want to use her to cure my attractions. I just want to share the rest of my life with a woman. And I know my same sex attractions will not go away ever. And I would like to tell her that before even she develops interest in me. I don't want to use scriptures I don't want to manipulate her in any way. If she wants to marry me I will marry her if doesn't want to then that's OK for me. My attractions are not going to go away just like any heterosexual's attractions don't go away after his or her marriage. Instead of extreme approach we need a common sense approach here. Some gay (as well as straight men) men wants to remain celibate, it's OK. We as a church should not consider them as any inferior to married couple in any way because everybody's life is different and God leads them in his own way we are just helpers. The church should stop preaching that heterosexuality is normal and homosexuality is abnormal. Both are abnormal from God's original plan for Adam and Eve before the curse. The only truth is Jesus Christ not culture not traditions not trends not the church (there is no church or marriage in heaven or in next life). Jesus said look above he never said look down or look around but to LOOK ABOVE. As far as gay marriage is concerned I don't have any opinions. But one thing is clear to me that sexual immorality and sexual attractions are different things. A person can be heterosexual or homosexual but being sexual immoral is a sin. If two gay men decide to get married and be loyal to each other till the end then I honestly don't know what to say. We are under the covenant of mercy.The church should humble itself and genuinely ask guidance from Holy Spirit. BEING HONEST AND LOYAL IS THE BASE OF ANY RELATIONSHIP.
As a female, I've always thought I'd marry a guy and raise a family. But every guy I give a chance has an expectation I can't fulfill: I'm not attracted to him, and there's no romantic spark. I've come to recognize that I'm asexual. But still I keep thinking, like Wes in college, that that may change if I met the right guy. I recognize that it may never change, and if it be God's will for me to never marry, then I'll accept it. I'm glad to see that men like you exist, who want a Christian marriage without the sex. Though, God instituted marriage as between a man and a woman, so marriage between two men or between two women isn't a marriage. If it's celibate that'd be committed roommates, not marriage. (I would advise against such an arrangement, though. Putting two homosexual same-sex people in a house together doesn't seem like a good way to avoid temptation.)
I just recently started looking to scripture because I’ve struggled with same sex attraction since I was little. This three year old comment is exactly how I think as well.
How can there by no comments??? Wow. What a breath of fresh air. We are locked locked locked into these two options --- change, or marry same sex. So needed to make note of the complexities of homosexuality. Those two choices just don't line up with realities.
Let us define our identity as being in Christ, not tied to anything else we might want to claim nor anything we have left behind. Paul is encouraging believers to leave behind everything connected with our old self when he said, "and such WERE some of you, but you are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of out God." 1 Corinthians 6:11
I struggle with pride and anger but would not want to be identified as a proud and angry Christian, rather as one who believes God's promise that He will finish the good work he has begun in us. Amen?
As I listen to the answer to the first question, I think of Jesus' words in Matthew 5:28 which goes much deeper than just "behavioral" sin and looks at the heart. I would think that the church would do well to deal with all sin in this way.
We can find "birds of a feather" that will accept us for what we are if we look long enough. i only had to join a fraternity my first year in undergraduate school to find the group that would help me on the downhill slide. I believe that all the denominational differences which exist temporally will dissolve at the appearance of the Truth when He comes again as Judge.
I'm glad to see another Christian brother come to the same conclusion I myself have come to. Thank you Wes for elucidating this "option" and realizing it's about redemption first and foremost. "My Christian walk and redemption is not defined by who I sleep with" [summarized] RC Butterfield. Her book is fantastic!
I am convinced that some churchs' very bitter anti-gay views are political, and NOT theological. The church has an enormous amount to answer for. I know that personally.
I agree there needs to be a stronger community of outed christians. So that even if their celibate their sense of belonging and contribution is still in the church.
My prayer for you, Wesley, is that you will be able to look at your heart as Jesus does in Matthew 5:28 and describe yourself as an ex-gay as Rosaria Butterfield describes herself as an ex-lesbian in her book. Have you read "The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert?" The power of God is there to change our hearts as well as our behavior. The concept of our identity in Christ cannot be redefined as a vocation or even a calling if we look at what Jesus prayed in John 17. If He is in us and the Father is in Him, what are we to conclude from that relationship? If I say that I have no sin, I deceive myself. However, we have been set free and are dead to the power of and desire for sin. When the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin or we are condemned by our own conscience, where is our deliverance? And how shall we who are dead to sin live any longer therein? See my comment and replies below.
I'm also same sex attracted guy born and brought up in Methodist family.I'm born again Christian.Since the day I understood about myself these attractions I tried hard to change them through gay conversion therapy offered by Exodus international and naarth.My attractions never changed and in 2016 I became depressed (major depression) and started thinking about suicide. Then God worked(he had been working all the time) in my heart brought my attention to unconditional love and free gift of righteousness.
God told me in my heart that heterosexuality is also not his design. Our culture has cheated us saying homosexuality is sin but never told us that God considers heterosexuality also as sin (I'm not talking about attractions but actions ). The problem is natural human loneliness and the desire to be loved. Heterosexuals have avenues like marriage but homosexuals have nothing like that. This creates the incredible injustice for people like me because I can't express my love and attractions to somebody within a legitimate setting like marriage.
In my case I don't want to marry a guy I want to marry a girl but I want to tell her before we go further in dating. I don't want to use her to cure my attractions. I just want to share the rest of my life with a woman. And I know my same sex attractions will not go away ever. And I would like to tell her that before even she develops interest in me. I don't want to use scriptures I don't want to manipulate her in any way. If she wants to marry me I will marry her if doesn't want to then that's OK for me. My attractions are not going to go away just like any heterosexual's attractions don't go away after his or her marriage. Instead of extreme approach we need a common sense approach here.
Some gay (as well as straight men) men wants to remain celibate, it's OK. We as a church should not consider them as any inferior to married couple in any way because everybody's life is different and God leads them in his own way we are just helpers.
The church should stop preaching that heterosexuality is normal and homosexuality is abnormal. Both are abnormal from God's original plan for Adam and Eve before the curse. The only truth is Jesus Christ not culture not traditions not trends not the church (there is no church or marriage in heaven or in next life). Jesus said look above he never said look down or look around but to LOOK ABOVE.
As far as gay marriage is concerned I don't have any opinions. But one thing is clear to me that sexual immorality and sexual attractions are different things. A person can be heterosexual or homosexual but being sexual immoral is a sin. If two gay men decide to get married and be loyal to each other till the end then I honestly don't know what to say.
We are under the covenant of mercy.The church should humble itself and genuinely ask guidance from Holy Spirit.
BEING HONEST AND LOYAL IS THE BASE OF ANY RELATIONSHIP.
As a female, I've always thought I'd marry a guy and raise a family. But every guy I give a chance has an expectation I can't fulfill: I'm not attracted to him, and there's no romantic spark. I've come to recognize that I'm asexual. But still I keep thinking, like Wes in college, that that may change if I met the right guy. I recognize that it may never change, and if it be God's will for me to never marry, then I'll accept it.
I'm glad to see that men like you exist, who want a Christian marriage without the sex.
Though, God instituted marriage as between a man and a woman, so marriage between two men or between two women isn't a marriage. If it's celibate that'd be committed roommates, not marriage. (I would advise against such an arrangement, though. Putting two homosexual same-sex people in a house together doesn't seem like a good way to avoid temptation.)
I just recently started looking to scripture because I’ve struggled with same sex attraction since I was little. This three year old comment is exactly how I think as well.
How can there by no comments??? Wow. What a breath of fresh air. We are locked locked locked into these two options --- change, or marry same sex. So needed to make note of the complexities of homosexuality. Those two choices just don't line up with realities.
Yes excellent talk
Let us define our identity as being in Christ, not tied to anything else we might want to claim nor anything we have left behind. Paul is encouraging believers to leave behind everything connected with our old self when he said, "and such WERE some of you, but you are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of out God." 1 Corinthians 6:11
I struggle with pride and anger but would not want to be identified as a proud and angry Christian, rather as one who believes God's promise that He will finish the good work he has begun in us. Amen?
As I listen to the answer to the first question, I think of Jesus' words in Matthew 5:28 which goes much deeper than just "behavioral" sin and looks at the heart. I would think that the church would do well to deal with all sin in this way.
We can find "birds of a feather" that will accept us for what we are if we look long enough. i only had to join a fraternity my first year in undergraduate school to find the group that would help me on the downhill slide. I believe that all the denominational differences which exist temporally will dissolve at the appearance of the Truth when He comes again as Judge.
I'm glad to see another Christian brother come to the same conclusion I myself have come to. Thank you Wes for elucidating this "option" and realizing it's about redemption first and foremost. "My Christian walk and redemption is not defined by who I sleep with" [summarized] RC Butterfield. Her book is fantastic!
I am convinced that some churchs' very bitter anti-gay views are political, and NOT theological. The church has an enormous amount to answer for. I know that personally.
I agree there needs to be a stronger community of outed christians. So that even if their celibate their sense of belonging and contribution is still in the church.
My prayer for you, Wesley, is that you will be able to look at your heart as Jesus does in Matthew 5:28 and describe yourself as an ex-gay as Rosaria Butterfield describes herself as an ex-lesbian in her book. Have you read "The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert?" The power of God is there to change our hearts as well as our behavior. The concept of our identity in Christ cannot be redefined as a vocation or even a calling if we look at what Jesus prayed in John 17. If He is in us and the Father is in Him, what are we to conclude from that relationship? If I say that I have no sin, I deceive myself. However, we have been set free and are dead to the power of and desire for sin. When the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin or we are condemned by our own conscience, where is our deliverance? And how shall we who are dead to sin live any longer therein? See my comment and replies below.