Weird Things That Only Teachers Say
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- Опубликовано: 27 дек 2024
- Teacher Talk You Won’t Find Anywhere Else!
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Welcome back to another episode of Teachers Off Duty, the podcast where the classroom meets comedy! I'm KC Mack, joined by the always fantastic Bri and Liz. This week, we're diving into the wild, weird, and wonderfully wacky world of things only teachers say. Trust us, you won't find these phrases in any other job!
As soon as that school bell rings, the adventure begins. But let's face it, our students sometimes seem like they're on a different planet. We've got a treasure trove of classic teacher sayings, from the perplexed "Why is this wet?" to the authoritative "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do!" We teachers sure have a way with words.
And let's not forget the infamous "teacher look" - that one glare that can silence a room faster than turning off the lights. We're breaking down how we master our teacher's voice while keeping the class in check (and our sanity intact). Ever had to explain why eating crayons doesn't lead to colorful outcomes? Yep, we've been there too.
So whether you're a teacher, know a teacher, or just love a good laugh, tune in to Teachers Off Duty and join us as we explore the unique, hilarious, and sometimes downright bizarre world of teacher talk.
“Ok, new rule, you are not allowed to bring and eat pickled pigs feet or sausages for your snack.” That was a phrase I never thought I’d EVER say but….
"did you just snort sour patch dust?" is something i never thought i would say to junior high students as a substitute... (and yes, he did. twice or three times before i stopped him)
I used to teach middle school (I teach elementary now) and I had a few kids that used to snort smarties. They’d crush them up and snort them. We used to give them 2 packs of smarties before state testing and we had to stop lol.
As a substitute teacher if a class did the "Andy's Coming!" stunt my response would be, "At least y'all be quiet now."
When one of my students gets a wrong answer, I say, " I understand why you would say that. " or " Thank you for your voluntary spirit." Then I will ask the rest of the class, " Is there someone who can help us." That way, the kid isn't alone on an island of wrong. I am with him or her, and WE need help.
Tbh as a student I would rather have you just kindly say no/wrong answer/nice try I don’t want a teacher being overly nice to me if I get a question wrong, but I appreciate your kindness.😂
It does appear that Ms. Mitchell is so care•full to protect the students' level of self-esteem. Wonder whats the age of her students?
That method draws so much unwanted attention to the wrongness of the kid and his not knowing! In school, I liked the ninja, hit and run, teachers. Like "Jason? That's a no. Joey? Nope! Jenny? Close, but no. Jack?.
Bingo! Okay, now moving on...". No big deal. But that was before children's egos were the teachers' responsibility.
Childcare teacher here, the number of times a day I ask a child that I'm not related to "do you need to go potty?' or "did you poop?" would be odd anywhere else. " what's that smell?" and "Who pooped?" get an honorable mention.
I've also have gotten WAY too comfortable sniffing other human's (that I am NO way related to) butts to tell if they need a change or just farted. Childcare is weird man...
😅😂😅😂😢 you could just check from the side or back no sniffing necessary
I worked at an after school program, I’ll never forget yelling across the lobby of the community centre “charlotte, we have to keep our pants ON” everyone was staring, but I bet none of them wanted to see her in her undies either!
I used to walk into my high school classroom--seniors, all--from being outside and would be hit with a wall of artificial fragrance and would immediately say, "Ok, who has the stinky dollar store body lotion? Put it away or use Bath and Body Works! And Axe...that transcends grade level from what I hear from middle and grade school colleagues.
I teach preschool 2year olds to 5 year olds (potty training classroom) my biggest one is “don’t pull your pants down until you’re in the bathroom” same for pulling pants up. “Your friend is still using that toilet” “dont put your hands in the toilet” “you have to wipe with the toilet paper, not just throw it in the toilet” “hands out of your pants please” “did you use soap” Or “we don’t eat off of the floor” “keep your food on your plate” “ don’t put food on or take food off of your friends plate” “use your spoon please” “why are you licking me”
Oh I forgot “don’t put toys in your mouth” and “please get off of your friend, we don’t lay/sit on our friends” “are you pooping” “we poop in the toilet” “why did you color on your face/friends face”
Military goes by last names...now I get to have "Miss" in front of my name! 😂
Bri’s laugh just make me laugh
I've taught ages 2 to grade 5, sadly I've had to say THE EXACT SAME THINGS to both age groups. They all think the bathroom is a playground, and sneezing on each other shows sharing is caring.
At my Girls' High School if you were extra bad you got "gum detention" with Mrs. D'Angelo. You and a putty knife scraping gum off the bottom of desks.
25:42 in Australia, its not uncommon for people to call a teacher '' miss'' without a name attached to it. but i never experienced it here in the states, not even in the south. we usually called em '' coach'' or Ms. Richardson*using her name for for example sake , or a nickname they had, a few preferred their first name or something, but the only time people called a teacher something other than a Person name, was when it was a coach.
Yea in high school we had a teacher everyone called Coach Sam cuz nobody could pronounce his last name lol
Yeah in Australia and in the UK, Miss & Sir... I was called Miss when I was a substitute in Australia (but this was 30 years ago 😅).
My sides hurt from laughing but BRI I DO SAY go back and walk but hear me out, I'm a preschool teacher, so I tell them to go back and walk to reinforce learning that behavior 😂 even though they never seem to learn it
33:30 Tell me why my morbid self thought Kacey was going to say that kid said "because my Momma's dead" or "because my momma left me"
You guys got some pearls of wisdom!!!!! I love the hands/chorus /"ask, pause, call" and the random name generator 🎉 brilliant!
Kindergarten teacher here; I frequently say things like “we dont lick our friends shoes” “dont lick the sink/our socks/ our desks/ “anything you can imagine . And constantly telling kids to take things out of their mouths
This episode was so great that I watched it when it was brand new & just re-watched. Thanks for always brightening my day. My mom is a 5th grade teacher & y'all's advice gives me better tips & feedback
“Eyes on me” would be awkward in other environments- retired preschool teacher
When I was in SPED "don't wipe your boogers on me, walking feet and hands to self" were frequent refrains. 😂
When they said “Andy’s Coming!” I did fall back😂😂😂
At my office I don’t say turn in your work… but I’ve told the same person 3 times this week to “Do your work”
Mike just said some thing about taping the kids mouse. We recently had an elementary school teacher get fired for taping a kid who is running around the room to his chair.
My district in North Texas has Teaching Substitutes and Auxiliary Substitutes (Clerks, Administrative Assistants, and more)
In law enforcement - a lot of us call each other by our last names 😊
I taught in a rural area with many elk. A student bit into a piece of elk poop while we were at the park. I didn't even know how to process that but it started with "I think the consequence already happened....."
I had to ask a high school student to keep his hand out of his pants because he would sit at his desk rubbing himself during class.
Wait, that's only half the story! Where did that instruction occur, in class, after class, in front of peers? Did you realize you were the inspiration, did that make it worse, or is that just a common experience in teacher-life? (I'm not unsympathetic. I had a 9th grade crush on my history teacher, but my acting out was confined to doodling our initials, scratching it out, in class.)
Why did I think the ad was gonna say Brought to you by Fashun Nuova?? 🤣🤣🤣
Cops, firefighters, emts all mostly respond to their last names and a few different professions but y’all right about pretty much everything else 😂
I’m 63 when I was at school - primary was for 5-11yrs seniors was 11-16 or18 yrs . It was Miss or sir in seniors it was Madam or Sir.
“Criss cross applesauce!”
I had to call a mom to tell her kids and grandparents they’re not allowed to pee in the bushes at my work
I love telling my students that the bell doesn’t dismiss you.
That's probably why your students don't like you.
Yeah, students in H.S. politely challenged the teacher who tried to enforce that rule. The bell not only ended the session, but started the timer for getting to the next class. On time! ⏲️
Whether 'elsewhere' from work or school, the individual is not where he/she is expected to be. At work, being 'out' too much will result in termination. In school education, being 'not present' too often will result in being expelled or 'dropped' from the class.
I work in fast food and my bosses will say if you got time to lean you got time to clean
I will never forget Mrs McManus! Don't say "this is a dumb question but... If it's important to you it's not stupid."
I work in preschool and the kids call me Ms. Melody .
“Did you flush?”
“Kisses are for your family”
“Raise a quiet hand”, followed by “quiet hands don’t talk”
“Hands out of pants, nose, mouth, etc”
“Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket”
“Did you ask first?”
I went to high school in the Netherlands and middle school and elementary school in New York and found that they refer to their teachers as sir or miss. It’s shorter when getting their attention. But when referring to a teacher they say oh Ms xyz said
Soooo I’m a nurse and I have definitely said don’t lick that and “We don’t pull our pants down”. I’ve also said don’t drink urine please”.
Don't hit your friend with your corndog!
Oh golly, fast food workers should start telling customers to kiss their brains!
In Rochester, NY, the kids call us "Ms." and "Mr."
In the UK we called our teachers Miss or Sir during most of school it’s more causal than calling them Miss (last name) or Mr (last name).
Also, as an adult I have been called Miss in my profession working with offenders. Not by colleagues but by the male offenders. Interestingly enough the women don’t. Never asked them to but that was how they showed respect to you.
I’m just a random lurker here … not a teacher (except when my daughter was in high school and we homeschooled), but I took my grandson to Dairy Queen a while back and we were waiting for our food when I noticed he was chewing on something. I asked him what he was eating and he said, “gum!” Like, really matter of fact, like it was 100% normal. He got it off the bottom of the booth table!! 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮
Eating crayons might not make you poop rainbows. But it can make you poop red, greed, yellow, even blue, depending on which crayon you ate. I know because one of my kids used to do it when I wasn't looking!
How about "who ate this eraser?" Grade 6 lol
shadow boxing is not bad, no one gets hurt doing that one.
17:45 us poor white girls! We can’t dance.
I teach 2nd grade. Sometimes, I make the mistake of laughing when they do stuff the first time, which makes them repeat it... 😅 this week, I had a kid who was pouting because she didn't get to be line leader, and she was leaning with her face against the wall. To snap her out of it, I said, "How does that wall smell?" with a big smile, so she'd know I was playing... Well it worked and everyone started sniffing everything and everyone for the rest of the day. We had to have a come to Jesus meeting at the end of the day when I told them that I am not willing to let this become a new thing. 😂
I also run a little camp on the weekends for 3-4 year olds and some of the things I have to are crazy but what they say is even better. I had one little girl tell me she was going to Argentina. I’m in 8th grade by the way a different kid told me she knew I was married. I’m not I’m 13. I could go on for hours. The thing I have to say most is probably stop or no. The funniest one by far is “hands in the cookie jar “ it basically just put your hands in your lap.
So cute. (And how impressive that you run a whole camp at your age.)
They say Mr. And Ms. Because they can’t remember your name. So many of my students will say it when I ask what my name is they can’t remember even when they had me for half the year. They will say the math teacher and when I ask which one they describe them. It’s crazy.
I remember eat rice off my project. And they asked why I was eating it
And my young dumb self said cuz I don’t have food at home
My brother plays high school football and he had a kid swim on him in the middle of the play and the kid was a lil bigger and my brother couldn’t breath😭😭😭
I have a student who calls everyone a cat and we do song of the day, one day i decided to make the song karma by Taylor Swift because karma is a cat!
My school doesn’t have any bells we js leave at a random time and we never know when #highschoolstruggle
8th grade student here. Kids at my school play this game where you hold hands and then take turns slapping the other persons hands until someone quits. I don’t get it. By the way I love the podcast.
I know, it's stupid.
Please don’t use or promote companies like Fashion Nova who treat their workers poorly.
The way kids be talking to their parents nowadays.Good thing I don't have kids. They wouldn't be able to sit down and I don't really even believe in corporal punishment. Just sayin.
I looked up in the middle of a highschool class to see a young man pulling his pants off. He had shorts underneath and was hot. 🤷
KC sound like a PE teacher
Hey guys quick question for bri i am 11 can i call you aunty bri
Put your clothes on…
first
i do animal noises as a stim cuz autism...