1. Exaggerate their achievements (huge egos) 2. They will plot and scheme against you 3. They are self centered and conceited 4. They believe they deserve everything 5. They struggle with the idea of sharing and giving 6. They love to criticize other people behind their backs 7. Don't take constructive critiscism well 8. They don't show any weakness or vulnerability (seen as perfect) 9. They dominate others (in control) 10. They're extremely afraid of failing in public (public shame) 11. Very good at manipulating people 12. They don't care about others 13. Their own goals come before anyone else 14. They never listen to people who don't agree with them.
Broke up with my girlfriend because she was selfish and self centered. Always talked about herself and took me for granted. Thank god I got outta that real quick.
Glad to hear you're able to move on. You should find someone who appreciates you :) Thanks for commenting! Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
Sadly their seems to be an increasing amount of women with those traits. There's plenty of men like that too. Women tend to get what they want easier apart from the more attractive men. Even the less attractive women tend to get a fair amount of attention from men.
@@ccadam dude this has nothing to with the video. I have seen most men having ego problem. What u said was stupid. Selfishness has nothing to do with gender
You forgot some 15. They refuse to apologize for doing wrong by yelling at you when it’s clearly them. 16. When they do wrong, they “play dumb” and deny admitting they’re wrong. 17. They provoke you to respond.
I definitely took a lot out of this myself and tried to look as objectively as I could with this. Hate to admit it but I got a little over half of these and it's something I'm working on changing. Thanks for posting this!
It's good that you're able to recognise your own behaviour like this, some people aren't capable of doing it. Thank you for commenting. Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
I believe we are all selfish at a point. It matters how and where we use it. Using it too much isn't good. But like I said, a slight hint of selfishness I believe we all have. We want to defend ourselves and be able to be proud of our selves at times. Some of our goals are more important than the goals of someone else. It depends on what it is. And you have to use it carefully
Boy oh boy. I was dating a woman that was showing these signs. Belittling me not educating me. Very toxic. Dodged a bullet in a way. Thank you for this. Opened my eyes wider.
i was really worried about being self absorbed and that i am what i fear but it turns out that i only have one of these traits and one of those is that my own goals come before others at times, which the more i think about it even when i have goals for the future, others are always included in those goals and i try my best to consider how my actions and words could affect others, it’s super relieving to know that i’m not self absorbed because i don’t want to hurt anyone, anyways i just left this comment to express my thoughts more clearly because i tend to contradict myself a heck of a lot:’), thank you so much for this video!!💕
She just described every person on this planet. I noticed this when I was in kindergarten. My first time being exposed to a large group of people as a child. It was obvious that I was being thrown into a den of hyenas. We compete against each other to be first in line. I’ve learned to be just as vicious as the people in this world and I hated myself for it. Now I just stay alone as much as possible. I can’t escape you people. You’re in the grocery store. You’re sitting next to me at a traffic light. You’re at my job and you demand customer service from me. You are everywhere
Thank you... "If man be imbued with all good qualities but be selfish, all the other virtues will fade or pass away and eventually he will grow worse." ~ Baha'i Faith
@@Joyanima joyanima can you make a video on how to be APATHETIC & STOICISM? I want to cut off the dramas in my life and live peacefully. And also, how to take criticisms.
Sometimes putting yourself first is a good thing. As long as it doesnt define you. In sports for example, it can be a good thing to think of your personal needs sometimes. That can make you better at that sport. Just dont let it define you and it is fine sometimes.
I think most of your points describe narcisism, not selfish people per se. I'm a pretty selfish person but I am not mean or plotting to hurt others. I think being selfish presents itself in different ways for different people, not just an outright negative one.
@@stephanieomayra you say your selfish but not mean.....I'm not saying that if your selfish your also mean....I'm saying that they selfishness and being mean "Can" happen together! Regardless...selfishness is awesome, keep being you!
My sister. I lost my son and she is a Nurse, a psychiatric mental health nurse, I swear she is a patient. No help at all through this hardship. Still bragging about how great here kids are and the spouses. thx.
My friend, who lived alone for many years and has three adult children passed away last year of cancer. She was a very good person and a dear friend but her children are the most selfish people I have ever known. Even though she was sick and dying, her son, who lives about 15-20 minutes away, never came by to check on her, to see if anything needed to be done around the home or bring her anything. Instead she drove to his house, picked him up and went to restaurants which she picked up the tab. The other two children are not that much better.
I am watching this just to find out if I am actually selfish. Unimportant comment, please move on Hey don't go down there. Lol i am, i suppose i can go use my face as a punching bag. Also I told you to not go here. Go away.
Joyanima, selfishness and self-centeredness is a thing of it’s own, not necessarily linked to manipulation or narcissism. One can like to talk about himself, without wanting to manipulate, do good deeds to others without wanting recognition and have friends. It’s like a challenge one has to cope with, and the best friends can do is let that person know and help him overcome that
I have a Friend who makes it clear of His Self-Centeredness. He admitted He seeks out others like Himself. They boast themselves to be uber significant! It's a very annoying delusion and petulant. When He discusses His past relationships You can clearly smell His relationship seems to be oriented to be a service to Him. He also gives gifts that are not even applicable To the interests of others, just based on His perception of what He Thinks You are interested in often showing They're not interested in Your thoughts, feelings and actual interests whatsoever!
Actually, selfish doesn't necessarily have to mean narcissistic. Because the real warning signs are just being selfish in general, even little things. Like not ever offering to help someone else at work.
My ex is like this. She is very self centered and only talks about herself. Cuts me off during conversations, never asks me questions, tries to play games with me, and lies or brags to make herself seem more “busy” or enjoying her life after the breakup. She said her life is so amazing now and she’s super happy. Dodged a bullet!
Maybe ur just wanting I live among shelfish person live around shelfish world if u voice the deep sorrow because people treat u like shit constantly and you want for normal things but are forced to do what benefits them then it sucks
Don't pressure yourself into changing completely....some people actually look for those traits in a partner! Take me for example, I won't be in a relationship with anyone unless they have traits of selfishness and mean. You basically have to pick your battles
Maybe give yourself two days a week in which you just listen to your family members-and accept whatever they’re expressing. Then, allow yourself to do more charity work of your choice without sharing with anyone what you’re doing for family or fellow humans-and try asking Allah/God Almighty for His Mercy towards you. (Selfish people don’t have time for such things-they just want to “do them,” as society teaches most. When we begin realizing things about ourselves, instead of looking at other people’s problems, that’s when change can come into our lives, God-willing, /In’sha’Allah.🥀
I love people... but, my defenses are so up. I've been hurt before really bad, and I am reluctant to "put myself out there." I'm scared that I will be used and stepped on like before. Help?
Glad I stumbled into this video. It made me realize I was right. It describes 10 people I knew for 30 years. There isn't one thing you said that don't describe them.🤣Thanks......
I have several questiond if you don't mind me asking. 1: What if someone is trying to tell you to do a certain thing their way and then even though you told them almost 5 times that it would not work and your trying to help come up with ideas to make things work but no matter how many times you try to come up with ideas, that certain person always acts like that their ideas are more important than yours and it always feels like if they don't get their way their going to have a mental break down all of the time, and they act like they don't care or think about your input or how you feel about it? 2: What if whenever someone makes a plan about only what they want to do and you actually participate and have fun though they still make things all about them through out the whole time, But it just so happens that whenever YOU make fun plans that you and that person can do together for fun hoping no selfishness involved that person either starts making things all about them all over again, or they just plain old stood you up and then they tell you at the last minute or when your just now going to bed saying that they had other plans without telling you ahead of time or they go hang out with someone else instead? 3: Why is it whenever I try to come up with a conversation with that certain person they always have to talk about themselves all of the time? Like all I ever hear from this person is I I I I I I I I ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Like don't get me wrong, I like listening to that person talk about themself, but I feel like that person does it way too much sometimes. Especially whenever I want to talk about something else and maybe about me for once that person literally In 0.5 seconds turns it around and we are talking about that person and all over again all I hear is I I I I ME ME ME ME! It makes me kinda sad tbh because I feel like I can never talk about how my own life is going sometimes and I feel like there is no room to talk about me sometimes. 4: Why is it whenever I try to make plans to where I want to be with my family and my family only or whenever I want to talk to another friend for once and have a great time or whenever I have a date to go to (as an example I don't really have a date lol ) that person has to bud in and demands that she gets involved with everything I do or she will break down because all she wants is all of the attention to be on her and her only. 5: Literally whenever we talk on the phone or text that person always ends up talking about how I'm not following up to her expectations that I know that they are very hard to follow, like having to drop every single thing that I am doing even though that there are times where I can not drop everything I'm doing just to answer my phone because she always says that she would have a break down if I didn't, or just like last night where she said that I have to try to make plans to hang out every other day a week, which during the weekdays I am usually the busiest, but I told her so many times that I am usually free during the weekends and we can hang out then. But Everytime I insist on telling her that, she is always like OH THAT WON'T WORK BECAUSE IT SOUNDS WAY TOO LONG, even though she literally just told me that she was free during the weekends as well, and once again if things don't go her way she would break down. The moral of the whole thing is that whenever she doesn't get her way it turns into a break down story. Why is this always happening? She even expects tells me that I am only aloud to have an hour after a busy day or what such to myself and then text her or call her right after, even though she knows very well that the best way I recharge is when I spend a long time to myself so I don't mentally lose it. She also doesn't really except that there are times that I literally do not want company that day and I need a day or 2 to myself to prevent myself from going crazy. BUT NOOO she makes excuses on why I should get out of my way and give her all of the attention she wants instead or else you know what will happen next. 6 and final question (maybe): Is it a bad thing that I feel like I should talk to a therapist about this situation and possibly other problems I feel like I'm having about this? The reason I say this is because I don't want to feel like I'm forcing my family into this, especially the fact that it's my problem and I don't feel like it would be right getting them involved with something that I should be the one dealing with it anyways. Although, it doesn't mean that I don't want anyone on my side for once though. What do you think I should do because I feel like I am stuck on whether I should find a better way to deal with out feeling like I should just stop spending time with that person which is something I really don't want to go through. Sorry that this is so long.
This video really helped me out a lot. I made a friend for Two years at college. Eventually I realised she was using me because she was not a very nice person towards others and later learned she was a narcissist. After college had finished, that was it. Friendship was over. I experienced this from Two people who I thought were friends. What is interesting, is that you use the term "self absorbed," yet the Bible speaks about this ... "That at the last days, people will be lovers of themselves, conceited ..." Yet you used these words. All I know is that God will have the last laugh on such people.
Lol im selfish 1.I protect my weekends off work and enjoy my chill time so much if anyone needs me for a lift or there's a social gathering 8 times out of 10 I will say im a work when really im watching netflix lol 2.I do every other weekend (son) my ex wants me to take him for basketball sessions on Sunday mornings every week,I said I rather keep my weekends off child free but happy to take him of its my weekend on. 3.I live alone on purpose because I enjoy undisturbed sleep
You are going to regret acting selfish with your weekends when your son is grown and no longer cares to see you on weekends or at all since that’s what you taught him
It sounds like a person I knew for almost 6 years turn out to be corrupted and selfish only care about herself but really don't care about others pretend to care but very selfish and ignorant. I don't like that. I like communication and making great conversation with love and caring. Selfish self-centered people are not cool they've been hurting people down
Honey, you hit the nail on the head with a woman I know. She has managed to manipulate every single person she knows and acts like she is totally innocent of everything, and I look like the bad guy because I won't tolerate it and I can see through her.
A really simple "selfish test" is making an open ended statement and seeing if they ask for more details. I use this on dating apps all the time to size women up. Her : How was your weekend? Me : It was great. Especially Sunday! **Now if she has any basic curiosity or interest at all she will inquire more about Sunday. But you'd be surprised how many don't. 🤣 However it's a very effective simple way of gauging how self involved someone is.
Self centered people also show weakness when everyone ignored them and seek attention when no one listen their dramas and stories or opinion about their achievements and when someone are more popular than them or being embarrassed and humiliated Infront of everyone when no one defend them
it might sound weird but if anyone can please help me out... is buying gifts for your close friend considered selfish? I'm in shock! she is a close friend of mine… me and my mom bought many gifts for her birthday… a few days later while we were talking she told me that she considered my act as deeply selfish and for my own benefit… while all i and my mom wanted to do was to cheer her up and make her happier what are your thoughts about my and her action?
What about dealing with a community that wants to mentally abusing gas light someone for 9 years and Stonewall them for several years after being called out being an abusive gaslighting community
what about those people who direct every subject on themself, you're watching a movie and they start saying 'this is me... This is me... OMG this is sooo me'' every two minutes', or your talking about something then they bring it back to themself every damn time.... tiringgggg
„They don't show weakness or vulnerability," isn't very fitting statement in my opinion. Of course, you explained what you meant. But I don't know anybody who would like to be seen as weak and vulnerable.
Seems like i had the misfortune of coming across the most SELFISH people... Im 33 years old and NEVER WAS GIVEN A GIFT FROM ANYONE except maybe family members and 1 or 2 people. I have grown up in adulthood around nobody and if it was. Sadly it was around sick selfosh people that do not GIVE anything but take and shun me. I never really had what i wanted. Even in friendship. Ive not had much selfless people in my life yet😪😪😪 But the exact opposite, meaning painful headaches and depression to suicidal tendancies, anger and hatred filled birthdays.. When will this all end?😪😪
It's hard to communicate with people who are not willing to listen. They practically assume all they say is the truth. It's all them. -.- Care to listen to other's thoughts? nope. they'd shut you down once you say your opinion. I'm like....bro.
I'm here as I was told I am selfish since I want all my friend's free time to be spent on me. So, I believe that is selfish behaviour, but I never thought of myself as being selfish but perhaps I am. So, I 'm writing this before watching the video. Afterwards I will continue this comment.... On with the video... Mmmm... after the video I must admit that I have some of these traits: I do expect to be the number 1 in the room, I do manipulate and judge others even though I think I'm right, I don't take criticism well, and pubic humiliation is a no-go. I don't criticise people behind their backs but I do think that, and don't dare to criticise me - no no. I do show weakness and vulnerability but only to elicit an emotional response from someone to support me. I don't know if I put my own goals before others, because I don't really have goals, although getting emotional support from someone might be a goal. I do sometimes listen to people who don't agree with me - that is why I am listening to this video since I was told I'm selfish. So, even though I am wonderful and great, how do I change?
I’m trying to find out if I’m selfish. I always feel like I’m only doing stuff for myself and i feel like shit because of it. I know I don’t like to do anything because I’m depressed but I should probably try harder I’m just so confused
@@DanNorton1 my family is always asking me to do stuff with them and I usually say no or say yes but then pull out last minute. Also I feel like I don’t help out enough with other people because I’m not that busy and everyone else is so I feel like I should help them more. Idk it’s kinda stupid but I just think that I don’t do much all day because I don’t have the energy to do anything but also that’s a stupid excuse cause I should just get up and stop caring only about how I feel. Sorry that’s really long
@@greebs1957 What about trading value for value: If someone does something for you, then you do something for them? And if they haven't done anything for you, then you don't owe them anything?
@@DanNorton1 ye but they’re my family so I have to help them especially cause they’re really busy and I’m not so I can help them out and maybe later down the line if I’m really busy they’ll help me. That did really make me think tho about how much I do for them and how they don’t even acknowledge most of it and the things they do for me also benefit them usually more than they benefit me
@@greebs1957 Glad to hear it got you thinking. That's what I try to do with my RUclips channel. I don't see that one needs to help someone just because someone is a family member, especially if one is already lopsidedly helping them and they don't appropriately acknowledge it.
You just described me but the only difference is that I am so weak. I am so sorry. I only become selfish after my former classmates bullied and mocked me for being academically active. Also, I am insecure and I am a lonely introvert that has low communication skills. They thought I am braggart but I really am not. The hate that I have felt before was thrown into my brother without a valid reason. I will change for the better. I am not like this, I should not be like this. I want to be back to my old self, my true self. 🙂 Thank you for this
My significant other keeps calling me selfish for wanting for my basic needs. When I’m cold I turn my feet to the heater..-he yells HEY SELFISH! I get up to pee middle of the night when i get up cause I’m not tired I’m hungry I’m tired I’m uncomfortable Any and all of these reasons I have been called selfish and told I’m useless.
Everything i do in life is twisted Into something they can tAke from me and i walk away feeling INVISIBLE. i dont often get to FEEL GOOD AROUND MOST PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THEIR SELFISH SICK WAYS... I walk in painfully dread around most people hoping ill finally find selfless people
This is my sister. I'm aware that she's currently using me and my friend to babysit my nephew while she's in school. Once she graduates and starts her new career she's going to drop us like a bad habit. But I'm in it for my nephew.
Does a selfish person say something like this? "My kids work hard for what they have and I’m happy for them not my problem about the rest of the people" plus "All my kids live well"
is caring for yourself and prioritizing yourself selfish? that implies there is someone else what if you are just you on your own without anyone else in your life
@@DanNorton1 I personally believe that a selfish person only cares what they get out of someone. I've been called selfish because I wanted to end a friendship that I felt was no longer good for me. But the person said it would negatively affect them if they couldn't speak to me again. By basically making me I guess feel guilty for wanting to end a friendship
So at the end of all that, you will achieve your goal with nobody around to celebrate your achieved goal. I don’t think achieving a goal is rewarding if you don’t have loved ones around to cherish that goal with
@@Ashley-jx7sw A lot of these people aren't exactly "love ones". Sometimes it's good to cut people a lose whether it's so-called friend or family members.
Sounds alot like my sister. When i was a smaller i used to get my ass beat becuase of her lies. 20 years later no guy wanna date her becuase shes a lies a lot. Ive been married for 5 years now.
I know my brother is selfish & self centered if he had his own way, I have to have patience because he does have mental difficulties. I'm working with him to try & make him feel better about himself after a life of people taking advantage of him, & he can be very easily taken advantage of, if somebody isn't there to pick up on what's going on. Not many people will have patience with my brother like I do & I know that he can find it difficult to do 1 simple thing that you ask of him, he is kinda slow , & EXTREMELY bone idle!
I remember my husband ordered himself a rib dinner and hid it from the kids and me! The kids were very small!! He ordered movies and waited until the kids and I left the house so he could watch the movies by himself. He loves to cater to his friends not his residents! Never bought the kids school clothes nor shoes but would spend money at the bar and on his bum friends! Facts!!
I have a friend me and him play with eachother until he show me his bsf he and her play with eachother longer than me and...one day he told me can he play with his bsf bc they play with eachother longer then I said " yes ofc ! " and he spend less time with me I was depress so I unfriend him bc we never play with eachother like we used to me but then come back and panic ask me a lot why I unfriend him I didn't tell the reason I make up an excuse : " I can't control my emotions " then he ask nothing more but he start to chatt with me more while playing with his bsf and sth I can't stand they play together and I feel like a third person Everytime I look at his face I feel a thousand of pain come and squish my chest so hard I cry out loud I push him away so many but he always come back and I have to watch them play as getting used to be the third person until my birthday he promise will play with me but he end up play with her until his bsf offline so he play with me I feel happy but the the second day he become sad bc his bsf unfriend him I was mad so I go confront her and tell her why did you unfriend him she answer " idk " I ask more Does he make u uncomfortable? Ect.... But every single answer from her I feel so cold like a bucket full of cold water poring on me so then I realize what she wanted I start to ignore him...until he forget about me Was I selfish? For steal someone else bsf ?
I have a selfish person in my relationship that’s why I don’t want her she think other people is more important than me but it’s all good that’s why I’m single right now
Me and my girlfriend have a friend who is very self absorbed and acts the victim when she can't get her own way,she always try to be bossy but we don't put up with it.
To be honest most people are selfish, most are subconsciously selfish. They don’t even know it. You can tell every day when you look at the way people drive
😭😭😭 All the list is goes to me, yeah, im born selfish. Currently im trying so fucking hard to change myself. Tho, i know that lotsa ppl hate me. I try to escape from that attitude with stay silently, i don't do anything to improve my self. I lock myself in my room and i just don't want to see anybody and i always think why im born to this world and born selfish. Now, im selfless, i always feel insecure and i am depressed. I don't know im good in what. Coz all my talent and achievements just to show that i am good enough. In reality i am nothing. I don't know how to change this attitude. Arghhhh.. Can i just die??. I don't wanna live in this world anymore and became cruel to all ppl that i love. Hurmmm
1. Exaggerate their achievements (huge egos)
2. They will plot and scheme against you
3. They are self centered and conceited
4. They believe they deserve everything
5. They struggle with the idea of sharing and giving
6. They love to criticize other people behind their backs
7. Don't take constructive critiscism well
8. They don't show any weakness or vulnerability (seen as perfect)
9. They dominate others (in control)
10. They're extremely afraid of failing in public (public shame)
11. Very good at manipulating people
12. They don't care about others
13. Their own goals come before anyone else
14. They never listen to people who don't agree with them.
Sounds like The Chinese Communist Party.
Thank you for commenting! Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
@Ana Amaro What do you do that you think might be selfish (if you want to say)?
@Spotify You think so?
@Spotify Such as when?
Broke up with my girlfriend because she was selfish and self centered. Always talked about herself and took me for granted. Thank god I got outta that real quick.
Glad to hear you're able to move on. You should find someone who appreciates you :) Thanks for commenting! Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
Sadly their seems to be an increasing amount of women with those traits. There's plenty of men like that too. Women tend to get what they want easier apart from the more attractive men. Even the less attractive women tend to get a fair amount of attention from men.
@@ccadam dude this has nothing to with the video. I have seen most men having ego problem. What u said was stupid. Selfishness has nothing to do with gender
Glad u gt rid of her
maybe thats what you think you narcissist! (edit, this is a joke)
You forgot some
15. They refuse to apologize for doing wrong by yelling at you when it’s clearly them.
16. When they do wrong, they “play dumb” and deny admitting they’re wrong.
17. They provoke you to respond.
So true
Uh, that sounds like me...
Hell to the f*&king yes
100%correct
Yep sounds like my ex 100% to a T . All of it
i started watching this bc my sister said that i’m self centered and selfish but it turns out i’m not and she is ◡̈
Thanks for commenting :)
Why did your sister say that about you (if you want to say)?
@@DanNorton1 lol just cause she’s kinda rude asf
i had the same problem i had my own brother call me selfish just because im following my goals.Then i notice that they are trying to change me.
then they trie to tacke advantage of my genoristy,so yeah screww them.
Umm who isn't afraid of being publicly humiliated? Some of these traits are about insecurities and not necessarily about being selfish.
Shame is for protection, why did the body invent that?
I definitely took a lot out of this myself and tried to look as objectively as I could with this. Hate to admit it but I got a little over half of these and it's something I'm working on changing. Thanks for posting this!
I came for self help and got roasted instead LOL
This is definitely me and the reason why my husband and I couldn't live together anymore.
It's good that you're able to recognise your own behaviour like this, some people aren't capable of doing it. Thank you for commenting. Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
That Still shouldn't be a means to get a divorce. As a husband I would have stayed with you, that's water under the bridge.
Be better
I believe we are all selfish at a point. It matters how and where we use it. Using it too much isn't good.
But like I said, a slight hint of selfishness I believe we all have.
We want to defend ourselves and be able to be proud of our selves at times. Some of our goals are more important than the goals of someone else. It depends on what it is.
And you have to use it carefully
Thank you for your comment :)
It's not that your proud of yourself, you're creating a self image which comes from LACK of something. It's compensation
I’m self centered and listening to you has helped what I can do better I’m grateful
❤
Boy oh boy. I was dating a woman that was showing these signs. Belittling me not educating me. Very toxic. Dodged a bullet in a way. Thank you for this. Opened my eyes wider.
i was really worried about being self absorbed and that i am what i fear but it turns out that i only have one of these traits and one of those is that my own goals come before others at times, which the more i think about it even when i have goals for the future, others are always included in those goals and i try my best to consider how my actions and words could affect others, it’s super relieving to know that i’m not self absorbed because i don’t want to hurt anyone, anyways i just left this comment to express my thoughts more clearly because i tend to contradict myself a heck of a lot:’), thank you so much for this video!!💕
She just described every person on this planet. I noticed this when I was in kindergarten. My first time being exposed to a large group of people as a child. It was obvious that I was being thrown into a den of hyenas. We compete against each other to be first in line. I’ve learned to be just as vicious as the people in this world and I hated myself for it. Now I just stay alone as much as possible. I can’t escape you people. You’re in the grocery store. You’re sitting next to me at a traffic light. You’re at my job and you demand customer service from me. You are everywhere
Well not necessarily I’m very aware of myself
You went to a bad kindergarten
you the ones who use the large shopping cart instead of a hand basket, and fill the cart to the brim!
Some of us are humble, but don't take the crap from people who keep hiking their leg on innocent people who only wanted to care about them.
Thank you... "If man be imbued with all good qualities but be selfish, all the other virtues will fade or pass away and eventually he will grow worse." ~ Baha'i Faith
This sounds like my boss at work.
Thanks for commenting! Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
My onece boyfriend
@@Joyanima joyanima can you make a video on how to be APATHETIC & STOICISM? I want to cut off the dramas in my life and live peacefully. And also, how to take criticisms.
Must be why he's the boss
this is why I'm here, lol.
After 40years of my life, I realized I am a selfish person and never cared about anyone in my life.
I lost everyone and I deserved it
dont be too hard on yourself xx ❤❤❤
At least you will have peace now
I sure hope my ex realizes this and realizes I was the only one that actually loved him.
@@Ashley-jx7sw let me know if you need solace , love and peace, I can help
Well you have another half to live. I'd you learn to try to understand and care for others you will find your life is richer.
Sometimes putting yourself first is a good thing. As long as it doesnt define you. In sports for example, it can be a good thing to think of your personal needs sometimes. That can make you better at that sport. Just dont let it define you and it is fine sometimes.
Yes but there should be a balance. The difference is self centered people have absolutely no balance.
I think most of your points describe narcisism, not selfish people per se. I'm a pretty selfish person but I am not mean or plotting to hurt others. I think being selfish presents itself in different ways for different people, not just an outright negative one.
Thank you for sharing a detailed comment, I appreciate it :)
Selfish and mean can go hand &hand! Btw...love both in a lady! But...you can be mean without wanting and having thoughts of hurting someone.
@@perryh.5306 I disagree with your first sentence, but agree with the last one.
@@stephanieomayra you say your selfish but not mean.....I'm not saying that if your selfish your also mean....I'm saying that they selfishness and being mean "Can" happen together!
Regardless...selfishness is awesome, keep being you!
@@perryh.5306 Ah, I see. I agree then 😄👍🏻
My sister. I lost my son and she is a Nurse, a psychiatric mental health nurse, I swear she is a patient. No help at all through this hardship. Still bragging about how great here kids are and the spouses. thx.
My friend, who lived alone for many years and has three adult children passed away last year of cancer. She was a very good person and a dear friend but her children are the most selfish people I have ever known. Even though she was sick and dying, her son, who lives about 15-20 minutes away, never came by to check on her, to see if anything needed to be done around the home or bring her anything. Instead she drove to his house, picked him up and went to restaurants which she picked up the tab. The other two children are not that much better.
"My people are dying from lack of knowledge"
I am watching this just to find out if I am actually selfish.
Unimportant comment, please move on
Hey don't go down there.
Lol i am, i suppose i can go use my face as a punching bag. Also I told you to not go here. Go away.
How did you do? Thanks for commenting by the way :)
@@Joyanima 11 of the signs sounded like something i would do. I am selfish. Oof.
Also no prob.
Same here
Dealing with a selfish lab partner. Yes. Always out for drama and mind games. Drive me over the edge all the time.
I felt like I was becoming self absorbed but turns out I think I might just be self centered :/
First step is to realise you're doing it. Thanks for commenting!
Joyanima, selfishness and self-centeredness is a thing of it’s own, not necessarily linked to manipulation or narcissism. One can like to talk about himself, without wanting to manipulate, do good deeds to others without wanting recognition and have friends. It’s like a challenge one has to cope with, and the best friends can do is let that person know and help him overcome that
Since I was raised by narcs and well versed on their behavior... selfishness is definitely a narcissistic trait. Right along with manipulation.
Every young man needs to watch this video
And young woman........
Hey Anna welcome. I lern fast all the time with you.Thank you
That's great!
....My best friend Wally is so selfish and bad for the community!!!😠
I knew a guy that got me in trouble because of his selfishness. I often say, I wish I knew then what I know now.
I have a Friend who makes it clear of His Self-Centeredness. He admitted He seeks out others like Himself. They boast themselves to be uber significant! It's a very annoying delusion and petulant.
When He discusses His past relationships You can clearly smell His relationship seems to be oriented to be a service to Him.
He also gives gifts that are not even applicable To the interests of others, just based on His perception of what He Thinks You are interested in often showing They're not interested in Your thoughts, feelings and actual interests whatsoever!
Thanks for the interesting comment Stephen. Any subjects you'd like to see covered in future videos?
Actually, selfish doesn't necessarily have to mean narcissistic. Because the real warning signs are just being selfish in general, even little things. Like not ever offering to help someone else at work.
My ex is like this. She is very self centered and only talks about herself. Cuts me off during conversations, never asks me questions, tries to play games with me, and lies or brags to make herself seem more “busy” or enjoying her life after the breakup. She said her life is so amazing now and she’s super happy. Dodged a bullet!
Hearing this makes me wanna cry, because I wanna change, but I don't know how.
I can't change
Maybe ur just wanting I live among shelfish person live around shelfish world if u voice the deep sorrow because people treat u like shit constantly and you want for normal things but are forced to do what benefits them then it sucks
Don't pressure yourself into changing completely....some people actually look for those traits in a partner! Take me for example, I won't be in a relationship with anyone unless they have traits of selfishness and mean.
You basically have to pick your battles
Maybe give yourself two days a week in which you just listen to your family members-and accept whatever they’re expressing. Then, allow yourself to do more charity work of your choice without sharing with anyone what you’re doing for family or fellow humans-and try asking Allah/God Almighty for His Mercy towards you. (Selfish people don’t have time for such things-they just want to “do them,” as society teaches most.
When we begin realizing things about ourselves, instead of looking at other people’s problems, that’s when change can come into our lives, God-willing, /In’sha’Allah.🥀
I love people... but, my defenses are so up. I've been hurt before really bad, and I am reluctant to "put myself out there." I'm scared that I will be used and stepped on like before. Help?
Glad I stumbled into this video. It made me realize I was right. It describes 10 people I knew for 30 years. There isn't one thing you said that don't describe them.🤣Thanks......
I have several questiond if you don't mind me asking.
1: What if someone is trying to tell you to do a certain thing their way and then even though you told them almost 5 times that it would not work and your trying to help come up with ideas to make things work but no matter how many times you try to come up with ideas, that certain person always acts like that their ideas are more important than yours and it always feels like if they don't get their way their going to have a mental break down all of the time, and they act like they don't care or think about your input or how you feel about it?
2: What if whenever someone makes a plan about only what they want to do and you actually participate and have fun though they still make things all about them through out the whole time, But it just so happens that whenever YOU make fun plans that you and that person can do together for fun hoping no selfishness involved that person either starts making things all about them all over again, or they just plain old stood you up and then they tell you at the last minute or when your just now going to bed saying that they had other plans without telling you ahead of time or they go hang out with someone else instead?
3: Why is it whenever I try to come up with a conversation with that certain person they always have to talk about themselves all of the time? Like all I ever hear from this person is I I I I I I I I ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Like don't get me wrong, I like listening to that person talk about themself, but I feel like that person does it way too much sometimes. Especially whenever I want to talk about something else and maybe about me for once that person literally In 0.5 seconds turns it around and we are talking about that person and all over again all I hear is I I I I ME ME ME ME! It makes me kinda sad tbh because I feel like I can never talk about how my own life is going sometimes and I feel like there is no room to talk about me sometimes.
4: Why is it whenever I try to make plans to where I want to be with my family and my family only or whenever I want to talk to another friend for once and have a great time or whenever I have a date to go to (as an example I don't really have a date lol ) that person has to bud in and demands that she gets involved with everything I do or she will break down because all she wants is all of the attention to be on her and her only.
5: Literally whenever we talk on the phone or text that person always ends up talking about how I'm not following up to her expectations that I know that they are very hard to follow, like having to drop every single thing that I am doing even though that there are times where I can not drop everything I'm doing just to answer my phone because she always says that she would have a break down if I didn't, or just like last night where she said that I have to try to make plans to hang out every other day a week, which during the weekdays I am usually the busiest, but I told her so many times that I am usually free during the weekends and we can hang out then. But Everytime I insist on telling her that, she is always like OH THAT WON'T WORK BECAUSE IT SOUNDS WAY TOO LONG, even though she literally just told me that she was free during the weekends as well, and once again if things don't go her way she would break down. The moral of the whole thing is that whenever she doesn't get her way it turns into a break down story. Why is this always happening? She even expects tells me that I am only aloud to have an hour after a busy day or what such to myself and then text her or call her right after, even though she knows very well that the best way I recharge is when I spend a long time to myself so I don't mentally lose it. She also doesn't really except that there are times that I literally do not want company that day and I need a day or 2 to myself to prevent myself from going crazy. BUT NOOO she makes excuses on why I should get out of my way and give her all of the attention she wants instead or else you know what will happen next.
6 and final question (maybe): Is it a bad thing that I feel like I should talk to a therapist about this situation and possibly other problems I feel like I'm having about this? The reason I say this is because I don't want to feel like I'm forcing my family into this, especially the fact that it's my problem and I don't feel like it would be right getting them involved with something that I should be the one dealing with it anyways. Although, it doesn't mean that I don't want anyone on my side for once though. What do you think I should do because I feel like I am stuck on whether I should find a better way to deal with out feeling like I should just stop spending time with that person which is something I really don't want to go through.
Sorry that this is so long.
This video really helped me out a lot.
I made a friend for Two years at college. Eventually I realised she was using me because she was not a very nice person towards others and later learned she was a narcissist.
After college had finished, that was it. Friendship was over. I experienced this from Two people who I thought were friends.
What is interesting, is that you use the term "self absorbed," yet the Bible speaks about this ... "That at the last days, people will be lovers of themselves, conceited ..." Yet you used these words.
All I know is that God will have the last laugh on such people.
Lol im selfish
1.I protect my weekends off work and enjoy my chill time so much if anyone needs me for a lift or there's a social gathering 8 times out of 10 I will say im a work when really im watching netflix lol
2.I do every other weekend (son) my ex wants me to take him for basketball sessions on Sunday mornings every week,I said I rather keep my weekends off child free but happy to take him of its my weekend on.
3.I live alone on purpose because I enjoy undisturbed sleep
Re: 1, is it good to lie like that?
You are going to regret acting selfish with your weekends when your son is grown and no longer cares to see you on weekends or at all since that’s what you taught him
That is very true. They are great in manipulation . Excellent interpretation. I have a sibling who is selfish. Thanks a lot for letting us know.
If it's bad to be selfish, is it good to be selfless?
Oh yes.i certainly do. Mr Paul Harris
It sounds like a person I knew for almost 6 years turn out to be corrupted and selfish only care about herself but really don't care about others pretend to care but very selfish and ignorant. I don't like that. I like communication and making great conversation with love and caring. Selfish self-centered people are not cool they've been hurting people down
Never listen to others problems or feeling it not about them. So terrible. But they are being honest. They don't care.
Lol when she covered her ears and chanted, my brother always does that along with most of this list
Honey, you hit the nail on the head with a woman I know. She has managed to manipulate every single person she knows and acts like she is totally innocent of everything, and I look like the bad guy because I won't tolerate it and I can see through her.
Oh nooo I come across as selfish 🤦🏻♀️I dont want to be like that!!!!!! UGH
Very true points
I’m afraid of failing in public but I’m not selfish
I am the center of example to the world, self thought other.
Thankyou very helpful ❤️
A really simple "selfish test" is making an open ended statement and seeing if they ask for more details. I use this on dating apps all the time to size women up.
Her : How was your weekend?
Me : It was great. Especially Sunday!
**Now if she has any basic curiosity or interest at all she will inquire more about Sunday. But you'd be surprised how many don't. 🤣 However it's a very effective simple way of gauging how self involved someone is.
Wow this is great information blessings
All these points are correct as I thinking. And I strongly agree with you.
My sister is suicidal because of a selfish boyfriend.He works her up and drags her down.
I don't know i think i can never change myself
Happy Sunday 😊✨
Self centered people also show weakness when everyone ignored them and seek attention when no one listen their dramas and stories or opinion about their achievements and when someone are more popular than them or being embarrassed and humiliated Infront of everyone when no one defend them
I just came to the realization that this is me! I don’t try to put others down tho!!
Yes.........I m selfish , this is video is all about me....😪
Thank you for commenting
it might sound weird but if anyone can please help me out... is buying gifts for your close friend considered selfish? I'm in shock! she is a close friend of mine… me and my mom bought many gifts for her birthday… a few days later while we were talking she told me that she considered my act as deeply selfish and for my own benefit… while all i and my mom wanted to do was to cheer her up and make her happier
what are your thoughts about my and her action?
What about dealing with a community that wants to mentally abusing gas light someone for 9 years and Stonewall them for several years after being called out being an abusive gaslighting community
I'm watching too many of these, I'm so scared that I'm gonna become selfish
This is very informative
what about those people who direct every subject on themself, you're watching a movie and they start saying 'this is me... This is me... OMG this is sooo me'' every two minutes', or your talking about something then they bring it back to themself every damn time.... tiringgggg
Great video thanks 👌. commend people who admit their flaws and correct themselves..
Is it selfish to admit one's flaws and correct oneself?
„They don't show weakness or vulnerability," isn't very fitting statement in my opinion. Of course, you explained what you meant. But I don't know anybody who would like to be seen as weak and vulnerable.
Seems like i had the misfortune of coming across the most SELFISH people...
Im 33 years old and NEVER WAS GIVEN A GIFT FROM ANYONE except maybe family members and 1 or 2 people.
I have grown up in adulthood around nobody and if it was. Sadly it was around sick selfosh people that do not GIVE anything but take and shun me.
I never really had what i wanted.
Even in friendship.
Ive not had much selfless people in my life yet😪😪😪
But the exact opposite, meaning painful headaches and depression to suicidal tendancies, anger and hatred filled birthdays..
When will this all end?😪😪
Thank you darling.
It's hard to communicate with people who are not willing to listen. They practically assume all they say is the truth. It's all them. -.- Care to listen to other's thoughts? nope. they'd shut you down once you say your opinion. I'm like....bro.
Is it selfless to listen to others?
I'm here as I was told I am selfish since I want all my friend's free time to be spent on me. So, I believe that is selfish behaviour, but I never thought of myself as being selfish but perhaps I am. So, I 'm writing this before watching the video. Afterwards I will continue this comment....
On with the video...
Mmmm... after the video I must admit that I have some of these traits: I do expect to be the number 1 in the room, I do manipulate and judge others even though I think I'm right, I don't take criticism well, and pubic humiliation is a no-go. I don't criticise people behind their backs but I do think that, and don't dare to criticise me - no no. I do show weakness and vulnerability but only to elicit an emotional response from someone to support me. I don't know if I put my own goals before others, because I don't really have goals, although getting emotional support from someone might be a goal. I do sometimes listen to people who don't agree with me - that is why I am listening to this video since I was told I'm selfish.
So, even though I am wonderful and great, how do I change?
Wow, you just described my sister to the point!
I wanna met her!!
I’m trying to find out if I’m selfish. I always feel like I’m only doing stuff for myself and i feel like shit because of it. I know I don’t like to do anything because I’m depressed but I should probably try harder I’m just so confused
What do you think you should be doing that you aren't?
@@DanNorton1 my family is always asking me to do stuff with them and I usually say no or say yes but then pull out last minute. Also I feel like I don’t help out enough with other people because I’m not that busy and everyone else is so I feel like I should help them more. Idk it’s kinda stupid but I just think that I don’t do much all day because I don’t have the energy to do anything but also that’s a stupid excuse cause I should just get up and stop caring only about how I feel. Sorry that’s really long
@@greebs1957 What about trading value for value: If someone does something for you, then you do something for them? And if they haven't done anything for you, then you don't owe them anything?
@@DanNorton1 ye but they’re my family so I have to help them especially cause they’re really busy and I’m not so I can help them out and maybe later down the line if I’m really busy they’ll help me. That did really make me think tho about how much I do for them and how they don’t even acknowledge most of it and the things they do for me also benefit them usually more than they benefit me
@@greebs1957 Glad to hear it got you thinking. That's what I try to do with my RUclips channel.
I don't see that one needs to help someone just because someone is a family member, especially if one is already lopsidedly helping them and they don't appropriately acknowledge it.
So basically siblings? 🤣
haha, you should check out my video about signs of toxic siblings!
You just described me but the only difference is that I am so weak. I am so sorry. I only become selfish after my former classmates bullied and mocked me for being academically active. Also, I am insecure and I am a lonely introvert that has low communication skills. They thought I am braggart but I really am not. The hate that I have felt before was thrown into my brother without a valid reason. I will change for the better. I am not like this, I should not be like this.
I want to be back to my old self, my true self. 🙂 Thank you for this
Is your old/true self selfless?
@Mangogurl OwO Is it good to be selfless?
@Mangogurl OwO You're selfish now?
@Mangogurl OwO What do you do that's selfish, if you wish to say?
@Mangogurl OwO Will you be better off if you don't do that?
My significant other keeps calling me selfish for wanting for my basic needs. When I’m cold I turn my feet to the heater..-he yells HEY SELFISH!
I get up to pee middle of the night
when i get up cause I’m not tired
I’m hungry
I’m tired
I’m uncomfortable
Any and all of these reasons I have been called selfish and told I’m useless.
Hi. Just want to ask what is the difference, if there is any, between self absorbed and self centered?
I think it is the Same thing?
Thank you so much
The selfish person never asks how I am or how was my weekend
Everything i do in life is twisted Into something they can tAke from me and i walk away feeling INVISIBLE.
i dont often get to FEEL GOOD AROUND MOST PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THEIR SELFISH SICK WAYS...
I walk in painfully dread around most people hoping ill finally find selfless people
This is my sister. I'm aware that she's currently using me and my friend to babysit my nephew while she's in school. Once she graduates and starts her new career she's going to drop us like a bad habit. But I'm in it for my nephew.
My father used to be like that he had self centered tendencies I had to work two jobs and go to grad school and he was filling sorry for himself...
I feel everyone around me is..🙄 the psycho level activated. Now side effects is i wanna become one now.
I am trying to change myself to that psycho.
That's not the definition of selfishness. It does sound more like narcissistic personality.
Thank you
People that are selfish are good
my best friend was like this, god i must say that friendship was a torture.
Yes thank you
Does a selfish person say something like this? "My kids work hard for what they have and I’m happy for them not my problem about the rest of the people" plus "All my kids live well"
is caring for yourself and prioritizing yourself selfish? that implies there is someone else what if you are just you on your own without anyone else in your life
Without being a selfish person, I personally believe there is no other ways to achieve one's ultimate goal. Being selfish is needed sometimes!
How would you define "selfish"?
@@DanNorton1 I personally believe that a selfish person only cares what they get out of someone. I've been called selfish because I wanted to end a friendship that I felt was no longer good for me. But the person said it would negatively affect them if they couldn't speak to me again. By basically making me I guess feel guilty for wanting to end a friendship
@@Ragingknight12 So did you end the friendship?
So at the end of all that, you will achieve your goal with nobody around to celebrate your achieved goal. I don’t think achieving a goal is rewarding if you don’t have loved ones around to cherish that goal with
@@Ashley-jx7sw A lot of these people aren't exactly "love ones". Sometimes it's good to cut people a lose whether it's so-called friend or family members.
I hate going out in public and hate being humiliated in front of just my mates. Am i selfish
Sounds alot like my sister. When i was a smaller i used to get my ass beat becuase of her lies. 20 years later no guy wanna date her becuase shes a lies a lot.
Ive been married for 5 years now.
I know my brother is selfish & self centered if he had his own way, I have to have patience because he does have mental difficulties.
I'm working with him to try & make him feel better about himself after a life of people taking advantage of him, & he can be very easily taken advantage of, if somebody isn't there to pick up on what's going on.
Not many people will have patience with my brother like I do & I know that he can find it difficult to do 1 simple thing that you ask of him, he is kinda slow , & EXTREMELY bone idle!
I remember my husband ordered himself a rib dinner and hid it from the kids and me! The kids were very small!! He ordered movies and waited until the kids and I left the house so he could watch the movies by himself. He loves to cater to his friends not his residents! Never bought the kids school clothes nor shoes but would spend money at the bar and on his bum friends! Facts!!
I have a friend me and him play with eachother until he show me his bsf he and her play with eachother longer than me and...one day he told me can he play with his bsf bc they play with eachother longer then I said " yes ofc ! " and he spend less time with me I was depress so I unfriend him bc we never play with eachother like we used to me but then come back and panic ask me a lot why I unfriend him I didn't tell the reason I make up an excuse : " I can't control my emotions " then he ask nothing more but he start to chatt with me more while playing with his bsf and sth I can't stand they play together and I feel like a third person
Everytime I look at his face I feel a thousand of pain come and squish my chest so hard I cry out loud I push him away so many but he always come back and I have to watch them play as getting used to be the third person until my birthday he promise will play with me but he end up play with her until his bsf offline so he play with me I feel happy but the the second day he become sad bc his bsf unfriend him I was mad so I go confront her and tell her why did you unfriend him she answer " idk " I ask more
Does he make u uncomfortable? Ect....
But every single answer from her I feel so cold like a bucket full of cold water poring on me so then I realize what she wanted I start to ignore him...until he forget about me
Was I selfish?
For steal someone else bsf ?
I have a selfish person in my relationship that’s why I don’t want her she think other people is more important than me but it’s all good that’s why I’m single right now
Dunno how this popped up but title says Selfish People - 14 Warning Signs of Self Absorbed People and asking for thanks and support. WOW What a girl.
Me and my girlfriend have a friend who is very self absorbed and acts the victim when she can't get her own way,she always try to be bossy but we don't put up with it.
I hate myself and want to improve, I have few traits related to weakness , getting best , winning!!
Thanks 💯
I found myself thank you for this video
To be honest most people are selfish, most are subconsciously selfish. They don’t even know it. You can tell every day when you look at the way people drive
😭😭😭 All the list is goes to me, yeah, im born selfish. Currently im trying so fucking hard to change myself. Tho, i know that lotsa ppl hate me. I try to escape from that attitude with stay silently, i don't do anything to improve my self. I lock myself in my room and i just don't want to see anybody and i always think why im born to this world and born selfish. Now, im selfless, i always feel insecure and i am depressed. I don't know im good in what. Coz all my talent and achievements just to show that i am good enough. In reality i am nothing. I don't know how to change this attitude. Arghhhh.. Can i just die??. I don't wanna live in this world anymore and became cruel to all ppl that i love. Hurmmm