How People THINK Clerics are Played VS How they're ACTUALLY Played
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- Clerics, the Sassy Healers.
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#dnd #dungeonsanddragons #cleric
Can we rename Clerics “Sassy Healers”?
yes
I thought that was already their nickname
Agreed! Btw War Cleric is best Cleric
Me playing a war cleric and the party asks how I became a cleric and I just say pain.
You forgot that they can frontline despite popular belief.
In Cleric's defense, their casting stat is essentially Common Sense, so they're surrounded by (comparative) idiots all the time
Yup. Int classes are the chad astrophysicists who speak in formulas and analogies too complex for most and just seem insane; wisdom casters speak in Confucius riddles; and charisma characters are the cool teacher who makes his class seem fun.
@@playerone3885 You do know that almost all followers of Confucius were gathered up and exterminated by the Chinese Communist Party?
@@nonenone3855 literally what does that have to do with anything anyone was talking about..?
@@nonenone3855 This is true, but completely irrelevant. He could've inserted any philosopher in that spot and it would've meant the same thing.
@@nonenone3855 I mean Socrates was sentenced to death by the Athenian government, doesn't mean he wasn't one of the most influential western philosophers in history, so what's your point?
If anything, dying tragic deaths is par for the course for influential figures. There's always gonna be someone who doesn't appreciate who or what they're trying to influence. Ever heard of Martin Luther King? Gandhi? Julius Caesar? All murdered
Cleric: * heals the party *
Warlock: * heals the party *
Bard: * heals the party *
Paladin: * heals the party *
Wizard: * heals the party *
Cleric: Why am I in this party?!
Barbarian: * rages to heal the party *
Cleric How?!
Lich: * heals the party *
Cleric: * leaves the party*
Which wizard subclass has healing abilities?
@@carsonrush3352 Maybe he take Healer Feat and play as Conjuration Wizard, as I wonder if you can make healer kit using Minor Conjuration
@@carsonrush3352 There is no subclass like that in official stuff, however there are a handful of spells the wizard has for healing. Vampiric Touch, Life Transference, Enervation, Soul Cage, Hell even Wish can Heal. And yes, a Wizard can create there own spells to and they can be centered around buffs or Healing like a crappy Cleric when high enough lvl.
@@NobleWolf well there's an UA subclass called School of Theurgy, also the (Always AU) 1st level spell Healing Elixir and the feat Artificer Initiate which can add one 1st level spell from the Artificer spell list which could be cure wounds
@@nicholasp.2563 Nice, Sounds very interesting and I would play something like that :3. A Elixer making Wizard
Well I'm early. Heads up to everyone, he is getting laser eye surgery, the red spots are a side effect, everything is well and dandy and we don't have to worry! He said this in the community tab!
Had I not read this comment I would’ve continued my life thinking it was part of the outfit of a stressed out cleric who’s tired of the rogues shit
And here I thought he was wearing some cool contacts to symbolize the cleric's suffering at the hand of the party or something like that...
Thanks for this, was about to ask if he was alright, now I know what's going on.
Looks somewhat fitting for the cleric, warlock and magic classes, and that's nice.
Ok but since he doesn't heal the party full of assholes he could at least heal his eyes
Cleric stereotype: Priest-type characters that's only good for healing.
Cleric reality: probably the most versatile class as they're tanky full-casters that can be whatever they want with their very diverse choices of subclasses.
I played a Life cleric and if the game hadn’t ended so early I would’ve gone drunk with power.
When I was playing a cleric I was the healer and the tank and frankly I did a pretty good job at being both at the same time, compared to my barbarian that's great at combat and basically nothing else.
@@animeotaku307 the Life Cleric in our party is like that. Heals are tremendous, AC is high, and the 'I cast Spirit Guardians' has me as the DM in a pinch to keep the encounters balanced and not party-one-shots-the-BBEG (which they did last session, sigh)
Clerics are so powerful because nobody wants to play a healbot. Probably the same reason Paladin is stronger than lay on hands. If you want a squishy healer, look at druid.
not to mention having the potential to instant kill any level 1 character
My current Cleric is the party tank, damage dealer, and healer, and I'm loving every minute of it.
War Cleric is best Cleric
@@AngharadMac And Twilight Cleric.
*Storm Cleric during storms intensifies*
They can be so broken
My partys cleric is the same, sort of... he acts like a tank (always offering to go first unless stopped), seems to focus on trying to deal damage but ends up mostly healing in every fight.
The party: "You said you'd be playing a healer!"
Me, playing a Cleric of Nerull and bent on covering the world in a plague of undeath so thick it could be felt from the astral plane: "No, I said I'd be playing a cleric. If you wanted clarification, you could have asked which god I was championing."
This.
First read-through, I thought you said "clericfication".
@@EnigmaMystere God, I wish I'd thought of that
As a cleric main in pretty much every RPG/TTRPG, I too enjoy playing a Harmacist.
Meanwhile, elsewhere:
Ivan the Terrible Sorcerer: So, who are you? What class are you?
New Recruit: My name is Elfriede. It means "eldritch power." I'm a Warlock. ^w^
Toukin Goodgai, Paladin of the Devoted Path: oh god no... .__.
Baron Midirhobo von Sellsword: I vote to include our new recruit. Who's in favour?
Vladimir Corpsestench, the Arcane Scourge: I am!
Teethgnash Kinslayer, Barbarian of The Badlands: AYE!
Cutthroat McLeech of the Black-tongue Brotherhood: Yisss.
Toukin: I just want it on record that I am opposed to this!
Ivan: Ignoring the Paladin's boring vote, it's unanimous: You're in, Elfriede. No backsies.
Vladimir: By the way, what manner of patron do you swear fealty to?
Elfriede Seraphiroth: Sinsmite the Annihilator, Grand Archon of Justice. ^w^
Toukin: ...NO BACKSIES! YOU SAID SO YOURSELF!
Everyone else: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--
Elfriede: I think they sprung a leak. ^w^
I know that you had laser eye surgery and that the red spots are a side effect of that and that you’re OK which is good. However, I only really noticed it whenever you are portraying how the Cleric was actually played a.k.a. why the cleric is always mad at his party. It did add flavor to it, that the stress of being the healer and always having to heal the rogue or resurrect the barbarian is just getting to him lol.
I had no idea why his eyes looked like that, so thank you for mentioning it (It probably is mentioned elsewhere, but I have no idea where.)
I was also gonna joke about his eyes being from the stress of being a healer. lol
Glad to know it's from surgery and not an injury.
Thank you. I was just about to write a comment asking if he was ok and what happened. Appreciate you filling me in.
i think he is just trying to hide that he got infected with a zombie virus and is turning soon. we need to do something QUICK
@@TenebiCenturion he said it in the community tab a while back
Very true, and might I add:
"No, I won't spend my turn healing you! The DM literally said the boss was on its last legs. I'll just end the fight and heal you afterwards."
100% accurate.
@@ajholt84 No it's not. 100% accurate is I spent all my slots doing alot more than you did so its time for YOU to take a short rest.
and then the cleric gets a nat 1 on their attack roll, gets ko'ed by the boss and it's a tpk, when they "could" have used that action to bring the fighter back up
@@Femaiden But it would have been a nat 1 on spell fail then, which implies the TPK would have happened anyways.
The Cleric could use a spell slot to heal that party member for a pitiful 1d8 points of damage, OR they could use the spell slot to inflict 3d10 points of damage on their enemy.
The Cleric: "I swear to God, I will not heal you guys if you start another tavern fight!"
*the clerics God will remember that*
Meanwhile my cleric is saying, "hold them down while I punch them in the face."
169 likes; nice.
@@JustSumIdiot Got to 69, twice, double nice.
I play a good cleric in a party of neutral troublemakers. It's so much fun to try to keep them in check while being swept up in their shenanigans. It even works a bit. Sometimes. I think.
Party member: Should we buy potions?
Other member: No we got a cleric.
War Domain Cleric: ("Ok so if I cast spiritual weapon, and attack one round, I can cast inflict wounds and attack with the spirit weapon next round. I'll also use guiding bolt for long range attacks. And just incase I need to, I'll prepare shield of faith". *doesnt prepare healing spells*)
Haha, my only time as a cleric was a one shot where I just went ham on the enemy party with a war hammer and banishment
One time one of my players who were playing cleric got so sick of being the healer and switched to bard and SLAPPED the Wizard/Artificer to DEATH
That’s not how clerics work, that’s not how any of that is supposed to work! 😂
@@OneShotQuesters that means he's playing well
@@unaihmg9352 actually she
Honestly it makes me sad to hear that an artificer got beaten up. But I'm sure there is some major context that I'm missing
@@Wanderer24 yeah he made fun of an NPCs name
as someone once said,” You need the cleric, but the cleric don’t need you”
Light clerics: Why waste time healing the party when you can just set everything that wants to harm the party on fire before it even has the chance to!
The best heal is the one that you don't need.
Very true, love me some light cleric. It pairs excellent with scourge assimar
How it feels to play Pyro in TF2
@@Wanderer24 Oh that's ironic! I just finished a campaign where I was playing a fallen Aasimar light cleric.
@@eddieattrill1965 man, I'm jealous that you actually got to finish a campaign. As a dm I'm ashamed to say I've only ever finished one full campaign in my 4 years of real dming
“Ah, the life of an adventuring cleric. I know it all too well. A perpetual struggle to maintain the hit point total of four to five nigh-suicidal tomb raiders determined to deplete them at any cost.”
That Cleric would love my rogue. He was the only one in my party with enough common sense not to do something stupid.
Its a compliment. They are so confident in your abilities as a healer that they essentially feel immortal. Every suicide run is a testament to you.
Nice quote
Malack was an ass, but he wasn’t wrong about that.
Poor Malak. Beleaguered and surrounded by idiots.
I recall playing a healer in an MMORPG (City of Heroes). I told the team: "I'm happy to keep you healed, but please don't run away from the team into a different room and go renegade. I won't chase you down." Later, a member did just that and continued to yell, "HEAL! HEAL! HEY HEALER! COME HEAL ME!"
I got a sick satisfaction of watching his health drop to zero as I continued to heal the majority of the party.
I'm getting a sick satisfaction from reading that one
Holy shit that is a throwback.
The hero we need but the one we don't deserve!!!
Beautiful, listen to your clerics. It's not that they know better, it's that you don't have a choice
Healer: Don’t pull a Leeroy and I’ll heal you
Player: LEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOY JEEEENKINS!
Healer: Oh my gosh. He just ran in
Player: HELP!
Healer: No
"Sometimes violence IS the answer!" is probably what went on in our own cleric's head when all the rest of us died one time and he had to finish off 3 orcs by himself
Well now I gotta know if he lived.
@@benjaminoechsli1941 He did, actually ^^ Conclusion: don't piss off the cleric
Wrong. Violence is a question, and the answer is yes.. 😊
I wanna play a light cleric in the same party as a Wizard so I can also cast fire ball
"Fine, I will do it myself...."
Wait, clerics have healing spells? (Looks at character sheet of death domain cleric) Is that new?
(Looks at character sheet of Trickery domain Cleric)
It must be new. I'm not seeing it here.
@@sparkselm173 Warforged: He.. he alsng?
Honestly I play the friendship cleric because their lv1 persuasion checks can max at 36 and min at 12 without a nat1. You fo this with human, get the prodigy feat from xanthar's guide to everything. Then use the guidance centripetal on yourself, and then you lv1 friendship power. Also make your charisma start at 18. Now you roll 1d20 +1d4(guidance)+1d4(imboldining bond)+4(cha)+4(prodigy proficiency bonus). So, you have a +10-16 bonus to persuasion. Now just tell everyone to stop fighting in the name of peace and love, do the right thing. Honestly the best way to go about this is to be a priest of Illmatter
@@sparkselm173 XD
(Looks up from character sheet of tempest domain) yeah I got nothing.
(Looks at Forge Cleric sheet) Uh, yeah. No healing. Just searing smite
One of my favorite cleric memes will always be that anime doctor with a gun:
"I'm a healer, but... *inflict wounds*"
Always remember, killing something now is like future healing!
If you kill all your enemies, your allies will never get hurt! No need to heal them!
"pls rember that wen u feel scare or frigten
never forget ttimes wen u feeled happy
wen day is dark alway rember happy day"
-- probably the last words our victims will ever hear.
The one “how cleric is actually played” that you missed.
Regularly clothed Player: walks into the room. “Heys guys! Sorry I’m one minute late…”
Table: DM, Wizard, Rogue, and Paladin.
DM: “All we need now is…”
Back to Player, now wearing Cleric costume: “Really?”
Don't forget about the cleric who never has healing prepared. We have two clerics in the party now.
the mercy effect
@@sarahluchies1076 My first campaign was STK with a life cleric healer who never cast a healing spell, chose the subclass for heavy armor proficiency and spent the whole time trying to melee fight. I wound up doing most of the parties healing as a conquest paladin with the ranger doing the rest with goodberry.
@@sarahluchies1076 but they can always cast heal wounds by sacrificing any prepared spell right?
@@sparemobius7430 that was a 3.5 mechanic. Life domain clerics in 5e always automatically prepare healing spells. But limited spell slots are a thing.
Other domains get other auto-prepped spells so its entirely possible to have two clerics with no heals that day
Session #1
DM: alright guys this is your first battle. You know what this means?
Everyone: first one to die becomes the cleric!
Absolutely incredible video, you just forgot something very important
Party: “You are the dedicated healer, you can’t be strong and independent and survive on your own”
Cleric: “Wanna bet?” *one-shots the boss with inflict wounds* “I’ll do this to you all without any hesitation if needed”
I'm a strong independant Cleric who don't need no party!
Have and it was both hilarious and DM breaking.
@@Squeekysquid I set up a one-shot where the *only* limitation was that we'd play at 6th level, and the character *must* be a Cleric.
It was fun, and since I'd prepared for that whole thing, it wasn't nearly as worrisome I'd accidentally wipe the party.
...Until the one with the item that would let them use a Channel Divinity charge to upgrade their Lesser Restoration into a Greater one failed the initial save against getting Petrified...
Inflict Wounds is such a cracked 1st-level spell that people forget about because it's a cleric spell.
@@ANerdWithAPiano Guiding Bolt can be pretty nuts too. Cleric outsped the Rogue? Rogue might be thankful
How people who don't understand 5E think Clerics are played: *Cure Wounds*.
How Clerics are actually played: *Guiding Bolt, Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians*, and maybe a *Healing Word* if one of the idiots gets downed.
One of the idiots that usually went down during a fight, after my Cleric's Healing Word got him back to his feet at the end of the combat: "You know I don't like being told what to do, [Cleric]"
My Cleric: "Then don't go taking a nap in the middle of a fight, [Warlock]."
Cleric:you want some healing, here is your healing *slap*
Wizard: dies of 1d4 cleric all mighty slap dammage
Most enjoyable one I've seen thus far. And for me it's tough to beat your video on how people think Warlocks are played
Honestly, the warlock one will be tough to beat haha 😂
I'm still partial to how to be a bard. How dare you describe me and my character!
*Sees Party*:
Bard: Trying to seduce everybody
Barbarian: Having a fistfight with the Town's Guard
Rouge: Looting the Inn
Wizard: Accidentally burned down the Inn
Paladin: trying to beat up the Rouge
Cleric: Nope,I'm out!
Guess the Rouge and the Paladin didn’t realise the inn was on fire
@@chaseallen7499 Well, it was more of a „Everything happened simultaniously“ Kind of Situation
Sidenote: rouge is a red pigment, rogue is a D&D class
I accidentally read "fistfight" as "fisting".
"oh, gachi barbarian" i think.
@@Tiareth Then the Bard would be like:"*Sniff* I'm so proud of him!"
rogue: "the cleric wants me to tell you resurrection costs a lot of money"
barbarian: "muh-nee?"
zealot barbarian: "a lot of what?"
zealot barb is too angy to stay dead
@@zozidome4649 He doesn't need money. His (or her) deity rubs their shoulders and say 'One more round, Champ."
169 likes; nice
@@vernonhampton5863 "Come on Rocky! You got that fight left in ya! Let the Beast out!" *Barbarian comes back and slaughters several whole villages* "That's my boy!"
@@tigerwarrior1787 1) that depends on the God 2) that depends on the barbarian 3) that depends on if the barbarians actions agree with the god.
How people think clerics play: "I cast heal. All the heal. Forever. I shall do naught but spam heal".
How cleric is often played: "Look, there's an easy way and a hard way. The hard way is I heal you mouthbreathers while you try -and fail- to show off. The easy way is I call my deity on speed dial and get Daddy to sort things out, mkay?".
I’m playing an artificer alchemist who has the ideals of tf2 medic and will only heal those who listen to what he says and the Hippocratic oath is more a Hippocratic suggestion
@@Dead_head4565 "Playing god? Well, only sometimes. It doesn't pay well and most vic- ahem, I mean volunteers, don't seem to understand that I have their best in mind."
@@lyravain6304 exactly why can’t they understand that
@@Dead_head4565 Well, not everyone has an Artificer's BIG BRAIN or willing to do anything for SCIENCE. I mean, some will die, sure, but it's not like clerics and their holy wars are completely clean. So what if some die on the surgery table, it's all for PROGRESS.
And occasionally to prove that you can, just because someone said you can't. Can't let THAT slip by!
The way described this is perfectly accurate!
Also the red spots from the eye surgery that you had adds extra flavor, like he had bloodshot eyes :
- in Cleric EXPECTATION : *I Will not rest until you guys get out of a battle at full HP!*
-in Cleric REALITY : i am so done with this team...
Cleric player to DM: "I really saving this last spell slot for later, can I do a medicine check and use nearby herbs as first aid?"
DM: "Roll a survival check first."
nat 1*
DM: "You dressed the barbarian's wound with poison ivy, he is now poisoned."
But I play as the expectation, because I am very concerned about my friends and that rubs off on all of my characters. Essentially, I play cleric as the "parent friend" archetype.
well, when ur party gains a cleric, people expect themselves to make reckless decisions so that the cleric can be their free healing potion. Kind of like how Insurance is treated these days.
It usually ends up in catastropic failure.
The cleric I am currently playing has been described as russian valkyrie and I completely adore her being the "I can and will leave you to die if you piss me off" combat medic that she is (magic mixed with first aid for flavor)
Ranger/cleric here. Healing isn't an issue when you just headshot everything before the party is in danger
Alternative option; you don’t have to heal the party if the party is already dead. *smites maniacally*
@@JustSumIdiot Alt Alt option: You don't have to heal your party if the ENEMIES are dead! (literally any cleric domain)
I absolutely love the sound effect with the "divine slap." Also, something something red eye spot is from eyeball surgery.
"Violance. If it's not the answer to all your problems, you're simply not using enough of it."
-Every cleric ever, it seems
now, you see, the misconception is that clerics are healers
because that heavily armored dude with the hammer and a squad of spectral angels is a cleric, but he's not here to heal you
I play mostly with clerics. I liked to ignore some of the downed players and use only medicine checks on them to stabilize them. They were not worth the effort
OOOOOOOOOF
Well at least you didn’t let them die. Stabilizing, the lowest form of “healing”, but, in essence, is still “healing”.
My cleric has a snake familiar I got off a scroll just cast spare the dying via the familiar because I'm busy grappling a bandit.
Spare the dying is much more reliable
@@aetherius6221 but also eats up a cantrip slot
0:41
My war cleric: What do you mean "sometimes"?
0:54
Everyone else decided to team up WITH the vampires controlling the city.
EDIT: Also, I'd like to think the cleric was pissed at the barbarian because he kept killing npcs
As someone who's only ever played cleric I can in fact agree this is how clerics are played
I played a Fire Genasi Cleric of Kossuth, Light Domain, in a Curse of Strahd campaign. I went all in on the fire motive, as you can see.
Fire, to her, was purifying and holy - destructive, yes, but the worthy would survive it, and out of the ashes, new life would be born.
In other words, in a place as cursed and haunted and infested with darkness as Barovia, her answer to a problem was usually "let's just burn it all down". 😂
Love to know how that works. back in the 2nd edition days, how Ravenloft worked was that when a cleric or paladin prayed for their spells, their god didn't answer their prayers, but -something- did.
God, I felt that final "Sees party, just leaves" moment. I’ve been a healer* in my last two campaigns and sometimes these people were not worth the spell slot.
"I have the power to save your life or _end_ it!"
- The Healer Cleric probably.
the Healer i used in my last campaign where i was a player and not DM, smashed the dwarf over the head using his oaken quarter staff and shillelagh for being too loud before his morning coffee.
In his defense, the Dwarf was Scottish, and my Cleric is an Irishman raised by Fae, who took a vow of sobriety when he became a cleric.
Time to make a party made of just 3 types of clerics. War, tempest, and grave…… my inner DM just started screaming at me
And call them the A-Men
My first character was a Life Cleric of Hestia.
She kept getting called a 6 star toon because of high AC, damage, and healing.
The rest of the team (battlemaster fighter and vengeance paladin) converted themselves to Hestia, invoking her name, and their rolls got better.
"This toon is such a 6 star that she can turn 3 star toons into 5 star toons!!!" - paladin
OMG, a fellow Hestia Follower, I have finally discovered…THAT I AM NOT ALONE!!!
@Leon Schneider i used "toon" as shorthand for the word "character".
Its a habit of mine.
@@r.s.2890 Toon is a holdover term from MMORPGs for player characters.
@@Mosamania (snaps fingers) yes! Thats where I got it from. From playing DCUO.
….first thing that popped in my head was yugioh…..
He forgot the part where everyone else goes down and the cleric is fighting the whole group by themselves.
I loved when at one session, cleric was just some wood creep, witch-style. After battle, our barbarian asked for help, so cleric picked up some grass and flowers and give to him.
"So? What am I supposed to do with it?"
"Eat it"
"Okay, so it's like... healthy herb?" *eats*
"nah, idk what it is"
This pretty much sums up what happened to the first Cleric I played. A LN Dragoborn Cleric who went out to recover a lost relic and within the first session was wondering wtf she'd gotten herself into. It says alot when you and the LE minotaur Barbarian are the only source of common sense in the group. By the third session she'd brought a bottle of whiskey to cope.
My first cleric basically couldn't heal, half-orc tempest domain cleric of Kord, ran full Frontline tank and damage dealer, let the druid and paladin handle the heals 😜
It’s my first D&D campaign where I’ve lasted more than one session (I tried a couple times before but I was really really obnoxious as a teen so I got punished in the game to the point I just gave up). I’m a Death Cleric and this video is pretty much spot on. Yesterday’s session was a little something like, *me zoned out over my spell cards* “Ashley! Ashley… you have to kill goblins.” “Okay there’s like a group of them right?! I’ll use my only fourth level spell slot to cast Burning Hands. *succeeds and incinerates the only 2 goblins that were there. Just 2…* “Oh dang! There goes that slot! I hope I’m not screwed for the boss battle.” *gets teased lightly by the ranger and barbarian* “I would like to remind you both that I’m the only healer in the group.” *gets to boss battle eventually after reminding the group I’m the only healer another 2 times while killing miscellaneous goblins* “So our doom is behind the door? Is the door made of wood? I have another fire spell.” “No the door is made of stone.” “My only weakness!” *we get in there* “The main bad guys seem pretty intimidating. I hope we don’t take too much damage considering I only took one healing spell.” *I literally blast the crap out of them and let the ranger and barbarian finish them off. We kill them in only 2 rounds of combat.* “Wasn’t there an injured dwarf? I should go heal him. After all… I’m the only healer in this group.”
I run for a Grave Cleric. Claire's outlook is "I don't have to heal if the monster is too dead to attack."
Played my first D&D campaign last year as a human cleric, I expected to be the party healer and buff everyone but i very quickly became the primary tank (until our goliath barbarian joined halfway) and most inclined to commit unalive, while also keeping the party alive x') The slow descent into angry healer trope was an adventure
Cleric: That's a nice boss you got there. It'd be shame if someone casted inflict wounds on it. *maniacally laughs in 3d10*
Guido Fantalli was a fountain of health, and any time he attacked it was a one shot Inflict Wounds. RIP, you crazy chef.
The "Want some healing?" slap feels like it would be right at home on a Paladin using Lay On Hands
Let's call it the Divine Holy Slap, or is that already a word?
Every campaign I've been in, not a single person wants to take a healing spell. DMs can manage their world based around a party without a healer, but literally everyone is like "oh no, there's no healer, the party can't work!" so I just be a healer everytime.
This is fine, after all I do like healing... until you realize that there's a very good chance your party is going to do the dumbest decisions, likely causing the party to fight at every opportunity. This video is very accurate to my thoughts sometimes...
Wizard: Don’t get mad but I may of accidentally cast fireball on the party
Barbarian: I was solo fighting 20 orcs
Me a Cleric who worships Zeus: the father of all gods has teach me the way of belting his kids, while I aggressively summon my divine belt.
Yeah, I don't think Zeus is a good God to look at as for a father figure...
@@YesThatWasa she a character I been thinking of, she one of the son of Zeus like the other but never felt loved by his mom, so she dose thing that His father would be pleased with to get his father attention. So she a cleric not because he believes in his ideal, more to just be seen.
She a scourge assimar, tempest cleric.
@@redmustard6354 yeah, I was just joking how Zeus is just usually a dead beat.
I'm playing a flavored texted Life Domain Cleric where all his spells are tavern/ diner based.
So his healing word is "Order up!", followed by a hearty ding and smells of spices.
He is also the only morally good person in the party and is morally obligated to keep them alive
@@YesThatWasa I know it was a joke but I just really thought my character would be cool to play and your idea is a great idea, it remind me of a homebrew I made on dnd beyond called the alcohol Domain.
@@redmustard6354 ah, you see, My cleric is basically customer service. So you need wisdom for that
A alcohol domain sounds like a charisma/ con thing so that seems more fitted for a paladin
As someone who as only ever played clerics, my first one was a “IM GETTING CHACED DOWN BY A GIANT SHADOW DEMON, PLEASE HELP ME!” my second was a dragon born and had the highest strength stat and became the makeshift tank and was more of a “my team is incompetent” kinda guy. Also my first cleric kinda just let his murder hobo bird tea-mate die under some rubble after he had threatened to skin my character alive and use their blood as clothing dye.
“Can someone please tell the Barbarian next time that resurrection costs a lot of money?!”
Path of the Zealot Barbarian: [laughs]
My Paladin/Cleric became a Barbarian recently partially due to a party member who was never really grateful for healing, or the many times she had saved him from death. My Paladin gave up her oath and everything. It's...a very long story.
I played a Shadar-Kai Grave Cleric a while back. If y’all don’t know, Shadar-Kai are lawful evil and the grave domain has a feat called Circle of Mortality (when a creature is at 0 hp, you automatically heal the max possible). To preface this, I got my DM’s permession to do this once during the campaign.
My Shadar-Kai was very apathetic towards healing. He did it because his goddess said one of the party member (a ranger) was to survive at all cost. So he did it because he was told to, not because he liked the other members. The barbarian always needed healing and would yell at my cleric to heal him if he was getting impatient.
So when they were higher level far in a dungeon, the barbarian had lost almost all of his hp and was yelling how he needed to be max health before they went into the next chamber - where they thought the boss battle would be.
My cleric was so over everything and was like “You need it? You really need it? Fine!” My cleric placed a hand on the barbarian and said, “This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.” Then he stabbed the barbarian in the gut, bringing him to 0 hp. My cleric stabilized him then used Life Transference and Circle of Mortality. Which meant that the barbarian automatically got 64 hp at the expense of my cleric losing 32 hp. So the barbarian gets stabbed and ends up better off than he was before the stabbing. The barbarian was furious and my Shadar-Kai just brushed him off. “You said you needed it. You’re welcome.”
The players had no idea I could do this but the DM just went “that’s your one” while laughing her ass off.
So many subclasses now have access to the cleric spell list and healing abilities that it’s no longer necessary to have a cleric in the group to keep people alive. Literally every character class now has some way to be the party healer.
Cleric: You want some healing? *SLAP*
Wizard: Dies
This video just showed up in my recommandations and yesterday I litteraly multiclassed into a cleric at the end of the session... And man, I can FEEL that this is going to be accurate
You forgot the cleric with the armor and biiig mace, grinning maniacally, "I'm not that kind of cleric."
My friend played a cleric named Roderik. He had "the rules of Roderik". It boiled down to "do something stupid, and I won't heal you" XD
As a supports style player, please, don't forget to thank your healers. Turst me it will make their day.
Also I maybe seeing things but your eye looks blood shot in that second half. I don't know if that was intentional or not but it fits perfectly with the frustration I have do deal with on the daily as a healer.
Some people are already saying this, but he recently had laser eye surgery, so the red spots are a side effect. He's fine and the redness should be gone in a couple days, he explained it in a community post.
Cleric: "Oh no, you misunderstand. I am the healer, I decide who lives and who dies."
"Can't heal you through walls." "The Barbarian has taken more damage than you Rogue, so...."
Rogue: *steals all the health potions in the world*
Cleric: *visibly offended knowing the rogue won't share*
Rogue: what? You wanna heal the world, get to it
I'm playing a Death Cleric and lemme tell ya:
One turn I healed a Monk from near dying to full hp, and then the next I used and inflict wounds and channel Divinity to do 50 damage.
I can both heal the party and I am the highest damage dealer we have XD
Clerics are pretty scary when they're interrogating bandits. All they have to do is pull out a mace and tell a guy "You're gonna survive this".
I mean I haven't been annoyed with the party so much that I just won't heal them but everything else I felt. Also funnily enough my Cleric just got back from her solo adventure after she left the party because of her want for revenge.
Cleric: "I'm a medic, not a heal bot! You only get spare the dying."
I am really looking forward to getting further into our current DnD campaign. We have 3 clerics and a rouge, our DM is displeased but also pretty amused.
If the rogue dies we're -forcing- persuading him to make his new character a cleric XD
my first D&D campaign, my friend (and the only one with D&D experience) chose a lawful good cleric. We had moments such as:
DM: The monk (who we had to interrogate) is clearly very upset, likely because you just killed his friends.
Me: He’s human, right?
DM: Yeah
Alex (not his real name): I can cast calm humanoid!
*cheers from around the table as we really, really hoped that spell would come in handy*
The line "oh no the rogue went down who could've done this, ~it was me~" is near the exact relationship my groups rogue and cleric have
My grave cleric: stays out of the line of fire, controls the battlefield, supports teammates, occasionally heals
My twilight cleric: hey y'all wanna be tanks too? //throws a twilight sanctuary on the party before running in like the 21 AC tank he is
That healing slap… So, one of the new monk archetypes allows you to heal. I reflavored this to be my character punching the healing into others, so that’s what I thought of.
I love the headpiece.
He forgot the reason *why* clerics are so often grumpy:
- "I need a HEAL"
- "Can I get a HEAL"
- "UGH, what are you DOING why aren't you HEALING me"
... inevitably followed by,
- "Can't you do anything other than HEAL?!"
This, of course, is when the cleric snaps and just solos the rest of the dungeon (in editions prior to 4e).
This is the best one of the series. The cleric is essentially the party mom.
The truth and pain in this is just so real. As my party's cleric ... where the rogue is squishy and constantly going down ... this got me 🤣🤣🤣
Me, a cleric/ranger in Pathfinder who uses a longsword in both hands, deals 1d8+22 damage and has 3 attacks.... What is healing?
“Just because I’m *always* the IRL designated driver, that _doesn’t_ mean I should *always* be the in-game designated cleric, right?”
(Sips orange juice, turns head, spits)
“Dang it, Steve! Do you *want* me to fail my breath check on the drive home?!”
I know the reason behind the red mark. Yet it adds so much to the cleric making this video even funnier with him being 110% done with the party's crap XD
Safe recovery to you thou Duke and have a good one :D
When I joined my d&d Party as a cleric I knew I wasn't the only healer, I just happened to be the 1 that would be able to do the most
**jester**
cleric is just getting into mortal danger just to be close enough to inflict wounds the enemy and nothing else
Played a cleric once. Had more health than the fighter and a higher AC than the goddamn paladin. It was a chaotic party. I healed the sorcer once, he dropped to 1 HP and I healed him for 19 and his max health WAS 19. I then left because he hit me with a fireball by accident and I narrowly made the save on it. He went down real hard after and I didn't heal, he's been very bitter about it since😂
My party recently decided that in my absence, they would flip a coin to determine in what sense of the word my cleric would "lay on hands"--in prayers for healing, or "catch these hands" style.
Laura Bailey: wait...clerics are supposed to heal?
Me: *cocks by holy water launching crossbow* News to me (yes my cleric really has that it's an old 3.5 item called a Flask launcher costs 200 gp and lets you crit with potions fired from it on a 19)
"Me: cocks by holy water launching crossbow News to me (yes my cleric really has that it's an old 3.5 item called a Flask launcher costs 200 gp and lets you crit with potions fired from it on a 19)"
This a pathfinder item?? Cause I can only find a reference to it as a trap that costs and acts differently than what you say.
@@animewatcha Not in any of the premade gear I've seen. If you want one stat if off of a heavy crossbow and specify special ammo potion bottle. This way you can hurl holy water, acid flasks, or any other damaging alchemical mixes with crossbow proficiency rather than thrown or improvised weapon skill. Attack roll with crossbow; damage as the flask would be if thrown.
Me: *Ubtao cleric with summoning dinasour spells* I don't know bro nature gives and takes all
Kobold Cleric of Dunatis: "I know what that is. It's what you use on the animals primarily and maybe the humans if you have any left."
Lmao this feels very accurate to our group
He's kinda stuck with the four of us because of my character (they're siblings with an incredibly strong bond)
And he's NOTORIOUS for missing every shot or swing he makes
Any physical attack he tries either misses completely or is a critical hit (on the rare occasion that he does)
With his shield, spirit guardians, and pure stubbornness, he makes for a good wall to shoot over :)
"Why would I waste time healing you when there are enemies to infllict wounds upon?"
This is so hilarious! I had no idea this was a trope of the cleric until I played one myself (very sarcastic, hated everyone in the party, absolute TANK)
what would have put this over the top for me is if the "how clerics are actually played" section was just clips of Jester
As someone who played a forge cleric from lv1 to 20 in the same party, you don't need to worry about healing the party if you're the only person taking damage.
Also casts lesser restoration on the bard every morning when staying in town out of habit.
as a cleric, this is absolutely true. also most healing spells go to the wizard... and the barbarian. it's a whole nightmare trying to keep everyone alive lollllllllll
This reminded me of a character I had once he was specialized in healing and general maintenance stuff, it's really funny how quickly those murder_hobos start acting civil when you tell them to behave or"no free healing no free consumables no free equipment repair"
Quick warning for anyone trying this you will need at least one combat specialist to act as your enforcer so the murder_hobos don't try to pull a dwarf chained to an anvil scenario ( had that happen to a craftsman character once, took the party for every to realize I was intentionally making items the wrong way trying to blow us all up not sure how we kept surviving)
A lvl 1 Cleric can start with ‘inflicted wounds’ as well as ‘cure wounds’
‘Inflict wounds’ does 3d10 necrotic damage.
Which actually puts it right in the middle of “Dangerous“ and “Deadly“ on the ‘Damage Severity by Level’ chart.
As one RUclipsr I watch says: “The party needs a Cleric, the Cleric don’t need the party.”
New Guy: "But we need to protect our squishy healer!"
Cleric: (starts with medium armor and shields, has Toll the Dead, Guiding Bolt, Inflict Wounds and Sacred Weapon prepared.) "Oh, you sweet summer child.)
@@darienb1127 it’s the unfortunate misconception of those who have played RPG video games.
Where are the healer or more specifically the white mage is just as squishy as the castor or black mage.
@@Nazo-kage Yeah, I know. I was just making a joke about it
@@darienb1127 I know. And it was a good one.
I still loved the game that my cleric was a necromancer.
He knew enough heals and lines to make everyone think he was a good cleric, but every line said also counted as him being a necromancer on the side.
Clerics in a nutshell “the power of my mace compels you to die” whilst savagely beating someone with a mace