Dude’s definitely a serial killer if it’s not a shitpost. Because I doubt they’re actual witches. Go listen to The Exorcist Files which are the stories of real exorcisms performed by Fr Martins Case #6 Parts 1-3. Exorcism of a man who escaped the control of a witch.
>Schizophrenia is actually a hypersensitivity to Psychokinetic energy. >Most Schizophrenics are victims of their own PK, manifesting hallucinations that aren't there >Some schizoids are skilled enough or have mild enough personal PK to be able to hone their perception down to other sources, mainly those of great "magic" power >Some people can sacrifice a bit of their humanity for a stronger PK field, and use it for manipulation or other malicious means. >TL;DR schizoids are perfect witchfinders, skinwalker hunters, demon destroyers, but they need to "tune" themselves like radios to the right "channel"
Schizo posting is probably my favorite recent evolution of shitposting. It combines my love of short horror stories and surreal internet humour. Just like with any green text, the best ones have that perfect suspension of disbelief. True? Probably not. Possible? Absolutely.
It’s the perfect medium for modern internet horror, in that there are no limits, no bridges too far. These stories can be as strange or disturbing as possible.
I think it's the former. when talking about how they try to convince him not to kill them, he mentions lust, which is more akin to something one used to luring men in in that fashion would say than any normal person in the situation presented.
This reads like some random obscure holotape you'd find in a Fallout game. Maybe located inside an unmarked basement location, with two skeletons locked in a death struggle from before the bombs.
Utterly stunning. On one hand, holy shit, schizo serial killer. On the other hand, imagine if he's actually right lol. Someone needs to make a film about this exact thing in the modern day. Your reading was top tier as well. The laughs and the rapid bursts of speech were 10/10
Yes. And by the end of the film, it should still be ambiguous to the viewer whether all that stuff "actually happened" or was it all just schizo delusion from the POV of the "Witch Hunter".
Dang you should contact the guy at the monster garden, he will love your voice to play a witch hunter, you 100% reminded me of them, cursed, twisted and fucked up
Let's assume this anon's post is genuine for a moment. As in, he is either a serial murderer, or an actual witch hunter. It is important to note. He keeps doing this. It has apparently been many, many, many times. He started when he was young, and he admits that he has aged considerably. And it has been MANY times. He did not give us a count. This means he stopped counting. And never mentioned police. He never mentioned missing persons cases. He never mentioned any possible serious aftermath. The fact that it keeps working and there are no lasting effects means that he might actually, for real, be a witch hunter. He never once mentioned a personal level of attractiveness, only that he made himself an easy mark by pretending to be clueless and, as he said, just really smiled at them. For this to keep working, over and over and over, and for there to be no police involved ever, guys I think he's a real witch hunter.
@@emperorthylordanon is still human, and hunting humanoid creature day and night, town to town, time to time, gonna take a toll, he need to be acknowledged such so he didn't lost himself
I mean maybe there's an actual witchhunter in west africa somewhere that's just tracking down women from one village to the other and posts on 4chan abt it. Keep in mind tho police is rly not as effective as it seems to be, especially if it's not a stable country it could be anywhere w a fairly existent tradition of witchcraft, so Europe Africa America and a third of Asia and maybe he's actually attractive ydk. He also said that he's "too old to do this" anymore, indicating perhaps that as his youth went so did the so called witches' appetite for him.
Thanks for saying colloquially. I looked it up and had a hard time understanding what Google was defining it as. It appears to be about conversational context. Once again, thanks for boosting my vocabulary, sir.
Working in a bar you get used to seeing witches. I’ve seen countless men be put under their spells and practically almost drug out by their feet. Usually a quick ”Hey buddy, you forgot your tab!” snaps him out of it but some are just too far gone. As for me? I love my wife. Her luscious hair and beaming smile will always protect me. Her love is stronger than all foes.
@@burialgoods another thing this reminds me of is a mix of the "How to spot a which" part in the book by Roald Dahl (that being "The Witches" and this is an edit because I forgot to add the title whoops) and the fucking "Meet the Heavy" TF2 promotional video, I think that it's the almost random bursts of laughter and the multiple changes of tone/speed he has, anyway great little short voice acting vid!
Look, it's simple. If she weighs the same as a duck then she's made of wood. If she floats she's made of wood and therefore weighs the same as a duck. Witches don't change up their shit.
@@cyndlehick9777 are vampires and werewolves human? No, they are monsters to be destroyed. Not people, ergo they cannot be murdered. Accursed creatures have no right to live, so to take what they have already laid false claim on is no theft.
I would pay to see a movie made based on this short story / schizopost. The cool twist would be that the movie leaves clues and details so that by the end of the movie, you start to think he's not actually insane at all and that witches are real. It would need to be subtle though.
This would work great in a psychological thriller. It could be about a serial killer who hunts "witches" and the detective trying to catch him. At first, the killer is depicted as a complete madman who targets young single girls because of mental illness and some deep seated hatred of women involving psychological trauma. But as it goes on, some of his victims are revealed to be murderers themselves. Making the audience think that maybe he isn't just crazy, and there's some truth to his ramblings. It ends with the detective being overpowered and tied up by him. He isn't going to kill him, but he is going to make him watch as he kills a "witch". The detective gets loose and tries to sneak up on the killer, but he's too slow and the killer stabs him. Then, the killer turns to his next victim, but sees humanity in her reaction to the detective's death. He has a mental breakdown at tge realization that he was wrong, and could've been wrong before. He calls the police and tells them about the girl and detective. They arrive to find he hanged himself before they arrived. The girl is still alive. The last scene is the girl sitting in a bar alone. She looks at a lone man at the other end of the bar. Her eyes look the same as the first "witch" the killer killed.
@@burialgoods If you do decide to pick this one up, his "A lie will remain a lie" speech would be badass with your voice. If you're looking for a sample, there's a 1 minute version of it with his theme playing titled "Aldia Speech but with his theme" on yt with a transcript as one of the top comments.
I'm a bit confused about what Mr.Anonymous Witchhunter thinks a Witch is. He never once told us what the Witches were doing, only that they took him to their place.
It's too eloquent and coherent. Most schizo affectives and schizoid will jump to and from subject. For that it's 50/50. Then again witches can just mean vile women so who knows.
You've had some bangers boss, but I really think this is your best work yet. The post itself could be taken in a few ways. That of a grizzled vet a-la Solomon Kane, or cold and regal religious malice like Count Frollo. But the little giggles you pop in there just make it so much more interesting and unsettling, especially with the buzzing in the background to represent it being a tape-recording. Is this a real member of some church organization, so high up that no one can question him as his sanity slips? Is it a serial killer in a mundane world, so lost in his delusions he's become a wannabe inquisitor? Beautiful stuff.
regardless if this is real or not, "people" like this exist and I feel like in hell for existing in this world good vid as always👍thanks for the existential dread
Behold the sanest member of the Witch Hunters in Warhammer.
BY SIGMAR A TALKING RAT! I'M GOING INSANE!
There are multiple races of talking rats with no connection whatsoever to chaos@@somerandommen
Victor Saltzpire grindset.
SILENCE WITCH
REPENT!
REPENT!! REEEEPEEENNNNTTT!!!!1!!1!!one!!
this is incredible the unhinged laughs and the occasional manic burst of speed rly sells.the schizo witchhunter
BG really deserves a lot of credit for bringing out the crazy for this one. His work turns shitposts into art.
S tier shitpost or i just heard a confession from a murderer, in both cases, great content as always
You and me, brother.
Not a murder if it's a witch tbh.
Dude’s definitely a serial killer if it’s not a shitpost. Because I doubt they’re actual witches. Go listen to The Exorcist Files which are the stories of real exorcisms performed by Fr Martins Case #6 Parts 1-3. Exorcism of a man who escaped the control of a witch.
It's not murder, they're a witch
S tier indeed.
Good thing he's never made a mistake. I was worried about schizo anon for a minute, there.
godspeed schizo anon
making the world safer one witch at a time
>inbf he’s actually telling the truth and he is actually hunting supernatural horrors that lurk among us
among us???? thats kinda.... SUSSY!!!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
>Schizophrenia is actually a hypersensitivity to Psychokinetic energy.
>Most Schizophrenics are victims of their own PK, manifesting hallucinations that aren't there
>Some schizoids are skilled enough or have mild enough personal PK to be able to hone their perception down to other sources, mainly those of great "magic" power
>Some people can sacrifice a bit of their humanity for a stronger PK field, and use it for manipulation or other malicious means.
>TL;DR schizoids are perfect witchfinders, skinwalker hunters, demon destroyers, but they need to "tune" themselves like radios to the right "channel"
Unlikely, but... not impossible.
AMOUNGUSES
SUS AHAHA
I mean the "too precious but innocence doesn't reach the eyes" is indeed eerie and inhuman
Schizo posting is probably my favorite recent evolution of shitposting. It combines my love of short horror stories and surreal internet humour.
Just like with any green text, the best ones have that perfect suspension of disbelief. True? Probably not. Possible? Absolutely.
I wish I could portray you as a soyjak
It’s the perfect medium for modern internet horror, in that there are no limits, no bridges too far. These stories can be as strange or disturbing as possible.
@@ItsFourLokoFridayand there's no way to discredit them, besides them being on the internet
Same bro its great
Schizo posting is much like a witch, it fits a niche.
I love the ambiguity if he's an antihero who's hunting real dangerous witches, or if he's just a delusional serial killer who murders random women
He's an antihero who murders random women
I think it's the former. when talking about how they try to convince him not to kill them, he mentions lust, which is more akin to something one used to luring men in in that fashion would say than any normal person in the situation presented.
If he's truly good at his job, the scenes he would leave behind would make it indistinguishable from a mundane non-magical murder.
@@bucolicgh”Please don’t kill me…..I’ll do *anything!* “
@@TheMasterUnity that REEKS of witch
This reads like some random obscure holotape you'd find in a Fallout game. Maybe located inside an unmarked basement location, with two skeletons locked in a death struggle from before the bombs.
this would make a sick unmarked quest to get some sick weapon on wild wasteland, ngl
It could be an audiojournal in bioshock, like the "Jerma one: Jerma's Audio Diary - Bioshock"
this is a great piece of creative writing
Exactly some of the best minds on the internet act like utter jackasses there. There's a lot of gold among loads of sh@t there.
I loved the insanity you portrayed behind every line, also please release the full song at the end cowboy man
It's a cover excerpt of The Silent Man by Dream Theater. Didn't expect to find that here.
@@ShinerCCC thanks mate
The sanest Hunter: The Vigil player character on the cusp of becoming a Slasher
Dude I just played my first vigil campaign and you are 100% right. Thanks for pointing out my next character
Utterly stunning. On one hand, holy shit, schizo serial killer. On the other hand, imagine if he's actually right lol. Someone needs to make a film about this exact thing in the modern day. Your reading was top tier as well. The laughs and the rapid bursts of speech were 10/10
Frailty
Yes.
And by the end of the film, it should still be ambiguous to the viewer whether all that stuff "actually happened" or was it all just schizo delusion from the POV of the "Witch Hunter".
Dang you should contact the guy at the monster garden, he will love your voice to play a witch hunter, you 100% reminded me of them, cursed, twisted and fucked up
Monster garden?
I would want to see that.
Consider me intrigued.
@burialgoods it's a youtuber working on a fantasy project, idk if monster garden is looking for VA but you would fit the bill for a witch hunter.
Yes.
Let's assume this anon's post is genuine for a moment. As in, he is either a serial murderer, or an actual witch hunter.
It is important to note. He keeps doing this. It has apparently been many, many, many times. He started when he was young, and he admits that he has aged considerably. And it has been MANY times. He did not give us a count. This means he stopped counting. And never mentioned police. He never mentioned missing persons cases. He never mentioned any possible serious aftermath.
The fact that it keeps working and there are no lasting effects means that he might actually, for real, be a witch hunter.
He never once mentioned a personal level of attractiveness, only that he made himself an easy mark by pretending to be clueless and, as he said, just really smiled at them. For this to keep working, over and over and over, and for there to be no police involved ever, guys I think he's a real witch hunter.
Or maybe no police get involved because he is so crazy he just imagined his killings like in the joker.
Issue is a man like that should have no reason to announce his deeds on the internet unless he longs for attention.
@@emperorthylordanon is still human, and hunting humanoid creature day and night, town to town, time to time, gonna take a toll, he need to be acknowledged such so he didn't lost himself
@@hasanmuttaqin464 That is a fair point.
I mean maybe there's an actual witchhunter in west africa somewhere that's just tracking down women from one village to the other and posts on 4chan abt it. Keep in mind tho police is rly not as effective as it seems to be, especially if it's not a stable country it could be anywhere w a fairly existent tradition of witchcraft, so Europe Africa America and a third of Asia and maybe he's actually attractive ydk. He also said that he's "too old to do this" anymore, indicating perhaps that as his youth went so did the so called witches' appetite for him.
ulysses if he was shot instead of courier six.
Could be a serial killer or a good man near-broken by the horrors he confronts daily, but too stubborn to let them win.
I love your work ethic, sir. Multiple uploads a day. That's impressive, even with the small playtime.
anon is, colloquially speaking, absolutely bat shit fucking insane. great work on the narration btw.
Thanks for saying colloquially. I looked it up and had a hard time understanding what Google was defining it as. It appears to be about conversational context. Once again, thanks for boosting my vocabulary, sir.
Working in a bar you get used to seeing witches. I’ve seen countless men be put under their spells and practically almost drug out by their feet. Usually a quick ”Hey buddy, you forgot your tab!” snaps him out of it but some are just too far gone. As for me? I love my wife. Her luscious hair and beaming smile will always protect me. Her love is stronger than all foes.
For anyone wondering this is 100% real.
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
@@rjk37 okay, fed
@@rjk37 is that taken from "A true story" of Lucian?
@@mister_dadstersays_hi7372 it's the disclaimer posted at the top of /b.
@@mister_dadstersays_hi7372 i remember Lucian assuring the audience that everything he was narrating was completely true though
This sounds like something that would play at the start of a man's descent in the end of the 1st act of a 3 hour movie
oddly specific
@@burialgoods another thing this reminds me of is a mix of the "How to spot a which" part in the book by Roald Dahl (that being "The Witches" and this is an edit because I forgot to add the title whoops) and the fucking "Meet the Heavy" TF2 promotional video, I think that it's the almost random bursts of laughter and the multiple changes of tone/speed he has, anyway great little short voice acting vid!
Thanks dude!
Look, it's simple. If she weighs the same as a duck then she's made of wood. If she floats she's made of wood and therefore weighs the same as a duck. Witches don't change up their shit.
the changes in cadence and long trailing laughter really sell this
I think anon is accidentally confessing to murder
*property damage
Ain’t murder if it ain’t human
@@NobodyAtAll56witches are human tho
@@cyndlehick9777 Maybe once. Not anymore.
@@cyndlehick9777 are vampires and werewolves human? No, they are monsters to be destroyed. Not people, ergo they cannot be murdered. Accursed creatures have no right to live, so to take what they have already laid false claim on is no theft.
Loved the sudden breaks in tempo with your reading. You are genuinely an amazing voice actor.
Someone needs to turn this into an actual story
Listen to old gods of Appalachia
Listen to the Magnus Archives. Episodic horror in a very similar style to this.
i got the chills from the voice acting
based witch hunter making the world a safer place
I would pay to see a movie made based on this short story / schizopost. The cool twist would be that the movie leaves clues and details so that by the end of the movie, you start to think he's not actually insane at all and that witches are real. It would need to be subtle though.
Thank you for your service Inquisitor. Glory to the God Emperor
hell yeah malleus maleficarum that's how you know the guy is not joking, i checked that shit it's fire (literally)
This man strikes fear into most subreddits
I expected this to just end with jeaneycollects reading a reply that goes something like "anon u ok?"
This would work great in a psychological thriller. It could be about a serial killer who hunts "witches" and the detective trying to catch him. At first, the killer is depicted as a complete madman who targets young single girls because of mental illness and some deep seated hatred of women involving psychological trauma. But as it goes on, some of his victims are revealed to be murderers themselves. Making the audience think that maybe he isn't just crazy, and there's some truth to his ramblings.
It ends with the detective being overpowered and tied up by him. He isn't going to kill him, but he is going to make him watch as he kills a "witch". The detective gets loose and tries to sneak up on the killer, but he's too slow and the killer stabs him. Then, the killer turns to his next victim, but sees humanity in her reaction to the detective's death. He has a mental breakdown at tge realization that he was wrong, and could've been wrong before. He calls the police and tells them about the girl and detective. They arrive to find he hanged himself before they arrived. The girl is still alive.
The last scene is the girl sitting in a bar alone. She looks at a lone man at the other end of the bar. Her eyes look the same as the first "witch" the killer killed.
I have no idea how the hell I found this but it was really good
Based and malleus-pilled.
you preformed this like a psychopath trying to convince the police he isn`t insane, well done
People "perform". Metal objects such as bells and cannons are "preformed" through the application of an outer mould.
@@derchozenvun83 okay fed
@@Annihilation_Studios I'm anything but, but that was funny.
@jessiesewell4076 ah yeah you right
This is true art. The post, the read, the laugh. All of it!
The laughs. The laughs sell it completely.
Back again, can't stop listening to this. Bravo BG.
Damn Bro Witch huntin is goin wild.
And I appreciate the effort you put into it man, seemed like some real psychopathic shit.
Thank you for your work inquisitor.
real schizo
i wish i could summon you to do voices for dnd campaigns, which my voice sounded more like yours
"Thous shalt not suffer a witch to live"
Pick carefully my brethren, God does not forgive the murder of the innocent. But the guilty? Who can say?
After hearing this one, I want some Aldia narrations from Dark Souls 2 out of you. I think your voice could nail it.
Would have to see what that character is
@@burialgoods If you do decide to pick this one up, his "A lie will remain a lie" speech would be badass with your voice. If you're looking for a sample, there's a 1 minute version of it with his theme playing titled "Aldia Speech but with his theme" on yt with a transcript as one of the top comments.
This remembers me when i played vampire the masquerade and created a malkavian serial killer, that had a similar discourse
I've never seen a witch before.
Thank you, witch hunt anon.
Saltzpyre if he was in 2024:
I like how the whole video was schizo shit and then there's suddenly happy music.
thoughts turn off
thoughts turn on
This reads like a short WH40k novel and I love it
He seems to be a good witchhunter, I haven't seen a witch lately. Thank you, Mr Anon.
Anon doing God's work
Whoever did the voice on this, bravo man
Thanks dude
when roald dahls characters go a little too over the edge
BG is reallly good at his job... too good....suspiciusly good
most sane inquistor from 40k
The vocals in this are absolutely brilliant. Some parts go a bit too fast but otherwise its so good
I'm a bit confused about what Mr.Anonymous Witchhunter thinks a Witch is. He never once told us what the Witches were doing, only that they took him to their place.
Whether true or shitpost, this was excellent. Chilled my blood properly, it did.
And here I thought i was the only one who could see witches...
I don't call this schizo posting. This is...something else.
It's too eloquent and coherent. Most schizo affectives and schizoid will jump to and from subject. For that it's 50/50. Then again witches can just mean vile women so who knows.
SUMMON THE WITCH HUNTERS
Did Claude Frollo write this?
sigmar male
Voice + theme combo reminds me of Isran from Skyrim's Dawnguard.
Gee, The Owl House sure took a left turn in season 2, huh?
the fairytale evil monster laugh is on point. i love that
You've had some bangers boss, but I really think this is your best work yet. The post itself could be taken in a few ways. That of a grizzled vet a-la Solomon Kane, or cold and regal religious malice like Count Frollo. But the little giggles you pop in there just make it so much more interesting and unsettling, especially with the buzzing in the background to represent it being a tape-recording. Is this a real member of some church organization, so high up that no one can question him as his sanity slips? Is it a serial killer in a mundane world, so lost in his delusions he's become a wannabe inquisitor? Beautiful stuff.
Or worse, is he a real witch hunter, someone who knows of things we, the mundane people, do not?
Real Nightlord hours in this bih
Galaxies away from actual ASMR but fantastic voicework nonetheless!! 😎
Actually horrifying, thank god anon doesn’t actually hunt “witches”
He does not know.
Yes Inquisitor, this comment right here
I see you questioned the higher law demonic sow.
Yeah? Vatican? got one right here, two actually one of her cronies just arrived.
pure World of Darkness.
I feel safer knowing this anon is out there 🥰
genuine schizposting
I am author, I am gonna write a book about this
I’d love a story about this, maybe some sort of mentally unstable / *heavily* traumatized crusader who came across many witches in his prime?
Cant beat the real og my man Trevor Herbert
how to fabricate a bunch of bad karma turorial fast :-) 👍
2:47 Isn’t that just what normal women do
Thank you Isran
This sounds like something you'd hear in a Bioshock-esque audio log.
This just captures Institor's blackpilled mindset when writing the treatise
The crazy part is this is the least schizo post on /x/
Hold up, this fella might be on to something
Sanest 4chan user right here
Emperor Belos origin story
Somebody’s been watching too much Supernatural
Schitzo Joshua Graham
Witch hunters are not schizoid.
They are righteous in all they do.
BG literally sounding deranged out here.
easily the most demented thing I've ever recorded
Sigmar purifies his conscience.
regardless if this is real or not, "people" like this exist and I feel like in hell for existing in this world
good vid as always👍thanks for the existential dread
Poor guy lives in the World Of Darkness universe
Well Well Well
Isn't it the villain of the next encounter?
noti gang what whaaaat
malleus maleficarum in a nutshell
thank you bald guy
Anon is a serial killer