A couple of 40k book excerpt narrations: Fabius Bile is judged by Slaanesh: ruclips.net/video/rp_0N94f9mA/видео.html A loyalist Astartes is brought before the Warmaster: ruclips.net/video/wpa2nvU6ZLU/видео.html
@@arnijulian6241 yeah I'm a graffiti writer/skater/bmxrider/ bartender who LOVES 40k. I rock with the World Eaters. I even got some 40k tattoos lol. catch me lamping in the eye of chaos in a black stone fortress boutta go on a Black Crusade!
@@greg0050 the space marine suit has a enough chems in it to make down town Detroit look tame and the emperors children STILL WANTED MORE AND STRONGER STUFF
Best lifting inspiration Ive seen in a while. Get so swole that you can force people to take interest in your interests for fear of getting pummeled to death.
This is exactly what I took from this. He did not know how to take this specimen who not only Trains daily but is also a scholar who reads a 52 books series FOR FUN. Fuck op. He sounds like a bitch. Also horus did betray us
@@Dogman262 yes but if anon genuinely didnt know about warhammer and didnt give a shit like he claims he wouldnt have autistically remembered everything the roidtard said.
That wasn't a rant, that was recruitment for the last war humanity will ever face and our man just got better headphones instead. Edit: Easily the cheaper option.
Hell yeah, that’s based AF. I became a U.S. Marine after playing countless hours of StarCraft. Met some Marines that played SC and we dominated during the SC 2 Wings of Liberty launch.
@@flare_studios. Welcome to Warhammmer 40k! We have: A fascist, feudal, theocracy worshipping a kinda dead, kinda alive anti-theist that has has 7-9 foot tall space racists in near indestructable armor among their most common forces. A gigantic army of egyptian terminators that had been asleep for 60 million years after fighting a war that was so desastrous it fucked a mirror dimension so much that it set in motion the birth of evil gods that continue to fuck with the galaxy to this present day. One of them also constantly travels through time because he wants to win petty squabbles against his rival, a historian that steals actual moments in time to put in his museum. Big, green mushrooms that bend reality to their will by the sheer power of imagination and belief. This is how they manage to keep up with the super advanced technology of the other factions by putting scrap together in the shape of a gun and simply believing it to be able to shoot actual bullets. And this was just a taste of it all.
If the Bell of Lost Souls on Terra would have had to toll for every one of its fallen heroes, it would have tolled itself hoarse long ago. The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Imperium. And even the man who has nothing can still give his life to the Emperor.
Don't know what's funniest about this, that the guy thinks he's a Blood Angel or that he thinks the knifeears will murderfuck him if he looks at them wrong.
This is like those stories of neuro-divergent dudes getting relentlessly bullied & barely have any skills becoming like the richest people on earth. But instead of the rich part we get some giant gym bro in some cult channeling magic to benchpress like God himself
Yeah. I've seen so many outright lies about the lore, even on the internet. One guy told me that Protestant Christianity was canon and the Rapture happened at the end of the Horus Heresy (and it only took Ollanius Pius, who's Catholic).
Theres a guy in my gym who has a space marine tattooed on his entire arm. He talks about conspiracy theories all the time. Had a good laugh when I saw him with his wife and kids outside if the gym. They were going on a family bike ride wearing matching jackets and helmets.
Warhammer 40k can be *really* tiring to read about if you don't have any vested interest in the tabletop wargame, like having bought hundreds of dollars worth of plastic miniatures or playing 40k themed video games. The Horus Heresy (both a side-game, a book series, and the canon name for the event) is pretty idiotic and not that deep, but if you somehow still want to learn about 40k's stupid contrived world, it's worth taking a look at, reading online summaries in websites like the Warhammer Wikia, Lexicanum or 1d4chan are the best places. Also Warhammer Fantasy is objectively better in terms of worldbuilding and factions, but you didn't hear that from me.
start now. It makes the depression go away and makes you feel good :) also, insomnia goes away, and you stop falling into neurotic spirals because all that nervous energy gets actually used for something. Still have not managed to talk to women though :| For that I might need one or two reps of "initiate conversation" but I scared.
@@luxinvictus9018 You will always be scared. Always and forever. The essence of courage is accepting that and doing it anyway. Just accept the high probability of heartbreak / rejection. It is the cost of dating and mating. Try to learn how to spot the crazy ones, and never tolerate their sh*t tests. I wish you the very best of luck.
Great read, man. You can always rely on /fit/ to deliver some 100% pure uncut autism. You should do the one about anon smacking the organ harvester next.
I aspire to become this man. To not only become fit, but to be unashamed and let known my grief for the death of the great dream of humanity. Of the Astartes. Of the Emperor.
Stringstorm is mid shit. You either go for Hmkids, Grimwind or just Farya Faraji for that real 40k autism feel. Yes, I know Farya Faraji isn't a 40k guy, but historical-esque music hits the same spot.
Ah, a fellow (checks notes) _as pa ra gus..._ huh. Yeah honestly i know my kin enough to know that somebody VOLOUNTARILY GETTING ROID RAGE just for a 40k reference is possible... the "screaming about horus because thats what black rage do" bit it sounds cringe but everything else is BASED
i say, if the story's true, let the guy beat the black rage every morning. i wake up seething that carthage lost the punic wars every day for my entire life and I'm not going to explain this because it's insane and very strange, but it ain't hurting people and this is a good icebreaker so fuck it. if the story's true, then homeboy screaming about horus *actually did* result in an opportunity to speak with a stranger. that's the lesson I got, anyway.
@@zeoswjx most fanbases have brain damage. Post-2017 all the sane ones are stuck on tumblr reblogging gay ships And im fine with it but damn, in this economy?
reminds me of when I tried to explain 40k to my mom to make a point about religion. I still make call backs to it with "that one where they worship technology" and she's just like "oh yeah that one"
A couple of 40k book excerpt narrations:
Fabius Bile is judged by Slaanesh:
ruclips.net/video/rp_0N94f9mA/видео.html
A loyalist Astartes is brought before the Warmaster:
ruclips.net/video/wpa2nvU6ZLU/видео.html
@@arnijulian6241 yeah I'm a graffiti writer/skater/bmxrider/ bartender who LOVES 40k. I rock with the World Eaters. I even got some 40k tattoos lol. catch me lamping in the eye of chaos in a black stone fortress boutta go on a Black Crusade!
Brother Roidtardius is struggling with the Black Rage, bless his heart.
all of them are on drugs, remember?
If my Primarch died at the hands of a traitor dog, i'd need some medication myself.@@Flipdagoose
@@greg0050 the space marine suit has a enough chems in it to make down town Detroit look tame and the emperors children STILL WANTED MORE AND STRONGER STUFF
Get him a chaplain quick
IT'S ALL WHORE'S FAULT, WHORES! WHY DID YOU BETRAY EVERYONE, WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!
"plz keep it down"
"Its not whores its Horus"
"Ooh my apolegies, please continue brother."
Best lifting inspiration Ive seen in a while. Get so swole that you can force people to take interest in your interests for fear of getting pummeled to death.
Isn't that what Plato basically did?
@@themarlboromandalorian Plate-o.
The Angron grind set
@@themarlboromandalorian That is a good Theseis, unfortunatly MY ABS
@@themarlboromandalorian love how history forgot his true name and it was replaced with greek for "broad-shouldered"
The Chad Angel vs the Virgin "pls no loud noises in my gym" .
This
thiS
100%
This is exactly what I took from this. He did not know how to take this specimen who not only Trains daily but is also a scholar who reads a 52 books series FOR FUN. Fuck op. He sounds like a bitch. Also horus did betray us
Based.
A true son of Sanguinius.
absolutely based
Based beyond base
"Horus?"
Based
@@BigPuddin Horus killed sanguinius, the father of the blood angels
Dude is a top tier troll. The most unbelievable part of this story is that he uses 4chan and didn't know what WH40k was
WHORRREEEESSSSS!
That’s pretty believable it’s very niche especially when that was posted
@@rhetoric5173 in general yeah, the way he was talking though it was clear he knew
@@Freekymoho That he was a bad liar there made the bits I believe seem all the more likely.
@@rhetoric517340k was not that niche during 2020
>on 4chan
>pretending not to know what warhammer 40k is
Least believable aspect of story.
for real though the unbelievable part is he remembered all those details about the setting at 2:35
@@impguardwarhameryup I noticed that too, fishy
on utube
uses gtf
@@impguardwarhamerThat would be anon speaking as Roidtard
@@Dogman262 yes but if anon genuinely didnt know about warhammer and didnt give a shit like he claims he wouldnt have autistically remembered everything the roidtard said.
That wasn't a rant, that was recruitment for the last war humanity will ever face and our man just got better headphones instead.
Edit: Easily the cheaper option.
Would you rather get 500$ headphones or, 2,500$ army
@@that_guy_that_plays_stuff Why can't it be both?
So bro decided to start lifting and get jacked because he wanted to be a space marine? Honestly, kinda based
Hell yeah, that’s based AF.
I became a U.S. Marine after playing countless hours of StarCraft.
Met some Marines that played SC and we dominated during the SC 2 Wings of Liberty launch.
Tbh seeing someone jacked can really motivate you. For me Centurion from the game For Honor made me take training even more seriously.
@@HellvineHow do you sit with these massive testicles of yours.
These are the kinds of people we need in space force.
For me it was the desire to cosplay The Nameless One
Becoming a 6 days a week gym bro for the Astartes transformation. Beyond based
All he has to do now is purge the Heretic, the Unclean, and the Xenos.
@@darthkek1953and the alien, dont forget the alien.
@@Rooachie That's what xenos is my nigga.
Imagine this being somebody's introduction to Warhammer 40k. Also that dude's grind is fucking legendary
This... _is_ my introduction. I have no clue what Warhammer 40k is. Lmao
@@flare_studios. Welcome to Warhammmer 40k! We have:
A fascist, feudal, theocracy worshipping a kinda dead, kinda alive anti-theist that has has 7-9 foot tall space racists in near indestructable armor among their most common forces.
A gigantic army of egyptian terminators that had been asleep for 60 million years after fighting a war that was so desastrous it fucked a mirror dimension so much that it set in motion the birth of evil gods that continue to fuck with the galaxy to this present day.
One of them also constantly travels through time because he wants to win petty squabbles against his rival, a historian that steals actual moments in time to put in his museum.
Big, green mushrooms that bend reality to their will by the sheer power of imagination and belief. This is how they manage to keep up with the super advanced technology of the other factions by putting scrap together in the shape of a gun and simply believing it to be able to shoot actual bullets.
And this was just a taste of it all.
Welcome to the fandom.
@@flare_studios. Welcome, might i suggest watching 75 hours of lore videos to get into the basics? :)
Welcome to poverty^
>WHORES WHY DID YOU BETRAY EVERYONE
Oh, I know where this is going
I had no idea, I started rolling when he said Horus!
Weakest Son of Sanguinius vs strongest Tau water-caste
The virgin "keep it down ☝️🤓" vs the chad *HOOOOORUUUUUUUS*
For a guy who doesn’t know what warhammer is, he recounted the story in suspiciously high detail.
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, sounds like an experience that’s difficult to forget.
Maybe he secretly liked what he was hearing idk
OP is a Warhammer fan and wanted to make up a story. This cannot be written by a non-fan, because he got the Dark Eldar wrong on purpose.
You cant explain 40k that sarcastically without knowing every facet of the lore
Dude's on that Death Company grind.
If the Bell of Lost Souls on Terra would have had to toll for every one of its fallen heroes, it would have tolled itself hoarse long ago.
The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Imperium. And even the man who has nothing can still give his life to the Emperor.
Don't know what's funniest about this, that the guy thinks he's a Blood Angel or that he thinks the knifeears will murderfuck him if he looks at them wrong.
jokes on him, the dark knifears don't need any reason to murderfuck anyone to death.
By the description of him, it seems like he is an actual blood angel.
Me going for a bench PR without a spotter
"The Emperor Protects!"
Oh shit!😅
Should you fail your pr it is a duty honorably discharged
(Breaks neck, becomes a servitor )
Emperor's mercy speedrun
Later in the ER: "The Emperor did in fact not protect but granted his mercy."
This is like those stories of neuro-divergent dudes getting relentlessly bullied & barely have any skills becoming like the richest people on earth. But instead of the rich part we get some giant gym bro in some cult channeling magic to benchpress like God himself
from the moment i understood the weak ness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel.
neuro-divergent?
dog this is a based channel, you can just say "retard", no one is going to hit you...probably
the tardrage is a whole lot more destructive when it's gymbro tardrage
@@Flesh_Wizard like creatin gorillas
Wait is neurodivergent the new politically correct term 'mentally ill'?
I can't really say shit, I played Chaos Space Marines from 7th to 9th edition, and had about 25k points worth of models by the time I quit
Iron within, Iron without, Iron at the gym
You sold em?
@@GYPHIST
Yeah, had to quit
@@burialgoods I gotta quit sometime around this year too they get more expensive each year, fucking hate gw
@@GYPHIST GW can suck a bag of dicks
Wow someone just met burialgoods at the gym. Neat
WHHHHHOOOORRRESSSS!!!
"Deadlifts for the dark gods" suddenly starts making sense huh
Maybe it was Eli in the gym?
most normal Blood Angel fan
Can confirm, am literally sanguinius
Least based blood angel fan
You can tell this guy is true 40k fan because he can't get a single fact about any other faction other than space marines even halfway correct.
bro IS a space marine wdym
@@kogmawgaming My apologies
Cry about it
He's a blood angel and he's got the thirst.
Yeah. I've seen so many outright lies about the lore, even on the internet. One guy told me that Protestant Christianity was canon and the Rapture happened at the end of the Horus Heresy (and it only took Ollanius Pius, who's Catholic).
Just sounds like he ran into Majorkill
Lmaooo
Theres a guy in my gym who has a space marine tattooed on his entire arm. He talks about conspiracy theories all the time. Had a good laugh when I saw him with his wife and kids outside if the gym. They were going on a family bike ride wearing matching jackets and helmets.
That's adorable as shit.
@@themarlboromandalorian Its funny when you know he talks Andrew Tate shit when he's alone.
Cute
Wholesome and goldpilled
@@Svoorhout85basedso
"Only in death does lifting end"!
Honestly, I'd be doing the same fuckin' thing. That man is unfathomably based.
You should come in one day throat-singing deep kargyraa and khoomei and say you're a member of the White Scars
"I just keep staring and smiling politely for fear of him killing me in an autistic fit of rage" that's poetry right there.
You misspelled pottery.
@@juhasznagyjozsef…he meant poetry, my dude.
@@juhasznagyjozsefkeyed
@@KingzzzYTlocked
Treat them with honour, my Brothers.
Not because they will bring us victory this day, but because their fate will one day be ours.
POV: your gym partner is henry cavill
Awww the Blood Angel dude was just happy to make a new friend.
Doubt this actually happened, but it perfectly sums up what it's like to interact with a 40k fan.
No way a dude that uses 4chan doesn't know what 40k is but it made me laugh
I find a kindred spirit in that warhammer autismo
The masculine urge to curse the name of the Archtraitor
The sinful desire to praise the true Empreror and the gods of the immaterium.
This just makes me wanna read WH40k even more
Warhammer 40k can be *really* tiring to read about if you don't have any vested interest in the tabletop wargame, like having bought hundreds of dollars worth of plastic miniatures or playing 40k themed video games.
The Horus Heresy (both a side-game, a book series, and the canon name for the event) is pretty idiotic and not that deep, but if you somehow still want to learn about 40k's stupid contrived world, it's worth taking a look at, reading online summaries in websites like the Warhammer Wikia, Lexicanum or 1d4chan are the best places.
Also Warhammer Fantasy is objectively better in terms of worldbuilding and factions, but you didn't hear that from me.
Based
NPC met the main character and didnt knew what to do with it
somebody better make those screams into a soundbite, cus that shit's fuckin hilarious 💀
Absolutely based. That man is my goddamn hero. I intend to start lifting someday too, I want to be a space marine.
Why someday and not today?
Start now. Literally now. Pushups, air squats, rows using door frame. Anything can be regressed to an easier version. All you need is a reason.
@@squirreltakular9049 Good idea, been starting simple, get out and walk. I've been considering body weight exercises.
start now. It makes the depression go away and makes you feel good :)
also, insomnia goes away, and you stop falling into neurotic spirals because all that nervous energy gets actually used for something.
Still have not managed to talk to women though :| For that I might need one or two reps of "initiate conversation" but I scared.
@@luxinvictus9018
You will always be scared. Always and forever. The essence of courage is accepting that and doing it anyway.
Just accept the high probability of heartbreak / rejection. It is the cost of dating and mating.
Try to learn how to spot the crazy ones, and never tolerate their sh*t tests. I wish you the very best of luck.
IRL space marine
definitely need more long form content from you your voice is godlike
Yeah, those Horus screams were absolutely nuts - OP's voice works for this really well! This was awesome
Imagine if, out of the blue one day, he starts calling him Horus..
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of Tren
hah good one
I played a Blood Angel army, respect
Great read, man. You can always rely on /fit/ to deliver some 100% pure uncut autism. You should do the one about anon smacking the organ harvester next.
I aspire to become this man. To not only become fit, but to be unashamed and let known my grief for the death of the great dream of humanity. Of the Astartes. Of the Emperor.
Sanguinius would have survived the heresy if all of his sons were like this
3:16 Anon, you are speaking _Heresy._
Am I the only one mildly upset by the fact that OP didn't become his friend?
OP’s loss, frankly
Honestly, using the fictional black rage and the real hatred of Horus to get buff sounds interesting.
His anime rage boost BS probably worked cause the placebo effect
In same time, me having screw in my leg and studying IT - "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me..."
Dude channeling the black rage to bench harder is kind of a Mood Ngl
I was howling at the revelation that he actually meant Horus and not whores, because despite it being so obvious, I did not see it coming
Most believable 4chan story
I have no brain matter left after this one.
A small mind is easily filled with faith. Whereas an open mind is like a fortress with its doors open and unbarred.
@@mirceazaharia2094So your mind is a whorehouse ?
@@mirceazaharia2094
Praise be the God-Emperor
If I knew Horus hating was the key to allowing me to lift more I should have started hating him sooner
could have shut him down nice like.
"Awa I'm just a guardsmen and I don't think my commissar would approve of this blood angel."
thats some real life space marine right there
God damn, just the title is perfect
One of the God Emperor's own. Truly.
Bruh, I think this dude met a real space marine.
2 types of greentext stories about warhammer:
1. laboratory distilled and concentrated autism
2. it hurts, anons
I just imagined DBZ broly for the questionable guy, the voice and description fits hilariously.
Dude hitting that Black Rage PR.
A few years later and this guy is probably king of the gym, loremastering with miring normies, and showing them pics of his Blood Angels
My stomach hurts from laughing. The Emperor Protects.
I was fully expecting this stranger to be revealed as henry cavill at the end.
Dude needs to move to Hollywood stat😂
Roid for the roid god, tren for tren throne!
FOR THE ANGEL GAINZ!!!! THE EMPEROR SPOTS!
That is how i felt when i first got into warhammer 40k.
(mentions le epic liminal spaces in the first few sentences) redditors have GONE INSANE!!!!!
Bet he listens to Stringstorm while lifting for maximum gains
Not anymore with what happened
@@Asterion_Mol0c true… but some of the collab songs they did with other creators were great
Stringstorm is mid shit. You either go for Hmkids, Grimwind or just Farya Faraji for that real 40k autism feel. Yes, I know Farya Faraji isn't a 40k guy, but historical-esque music hits the same spot.
posts on 4chan and acts like he isnt an autist as well
I can relate to OP on a spiritual level. Mostly because I don't know thing about WH40K
I've never imagined Horus's name that way, and now I can't unhear it. It sums him up perfectly.
I love Warhammer so much it's unreal
The context makes it even funnier. This was posted on /fit/, by a guy completely unaware about 40k. Not on /tg/ as a joek or something
This is an amazing read, thanks burialgoods.
Ah, a fellow (checks notes) _as pa ra gus..._ huh.
Yeah honestly i know my kin enough to know that somebody VOLOUNTARILY GETTING ROID RAGE just for a 40k reference is possible... the "screaming about horus because thats what black rage do" bit it sounds cringe but everything else is BASED
i say, if the story's true, let the guy beat the black rage every morning. i wake up seething that carthage lost the punic wars every day for my entire life and I'm not going to explain this because it's insane and very strange, but it ain't hurting people and this is a good icebreaker so fuck it.
if the story's true, then homeboy screaming about horus *actually did* result in an opportunity to speak with a stranger. that's the lesson I got, anyway.
@@ohmygoditisspider7953 ah, un fan di di "carthago delenda est", eh? (italian noises)
@@ohmygoditisspider7953
*confused but soothing Dacian noises*
I swear half the fanbase got brain damage
@@zeoswjx most fanbases have brain damage. Post-2017 all the sane ones are stuck on tumblr reblogging gay ships
And im fine with it but damn, in this economy?
it truly is difficult to find someone IRL who will nerd out with me about 40k lore. I feel for the guy.
average bolt thrower fan:
Ngl if brother roiditus was at my gym, I'd start shouting about Magnus. We may be of different legions, but we may share our general hatred
Bro is part of the "special" forces of the emperor💀
A dude on 4chan not knowing what Warhammer is? I don't buy that.
this is written by someone who absolutely knows warhammer lore and is desperately pretending not to
That voice was amazing man I could literally see the damn Hulk screaming at the bench
"Then he got on the floor and danced the dinosaur"
I started strength training about 4 years ago, and this thread was essentially my introduction to /fit/.
😢mfw never in the screencap though.
This is the most epic wall of green text EVER
This man chooses not to bathe in the light of the Emperor of mankind and instead prefers to cloak himself in the darkness of the nonbeliever.
reminds me of when I tried to explain 40k to my mom to make a point about religion. I still make call backs to it with "that one where they worship technology" and she's just like "oh yeah that one"
GLORY TO THE NINTH BROTHER
Reverted back to monarchy? REVERTED?? THE EMPIRE MARCHES FORWARD
I love this one. Classic /fit/ (maybe) ? Either way, funny as hell.
Honestly anon just hasn't taken the ragepill yet