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Why MEN are AFRAID to APPROACH WOMEN: sexuality and the threat of extinction
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
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Most men have approach anxiety. There are many recent contributors to this anxiety -- such as the fear of being "cancelled" for their attraction -- but the root causes of this fear are much deeper. In today's episode, I make the case that -- on an unconscious level -- female rejection is tantamount to the judgment that a man does not deserve to exist because his genetics don't merit perpetuation. This has caused some men to idealize women to divine proportions in their romantic imagination, as they have been endowed with the capacity to determine which men have "the right stuff."
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #dating
Most men have approach anxiety. There are many recent contributors to this anxiety -- such as the fear of being "cancelled" for their attraction -- but the root causes of this fear are much deeper. In today's episode, I make the case that -- on an unconscious level -- female rejection is tantamount to the judgment that a man does not deserve to exist because his genetics don't merit perpetuation. This has caused some men to idealize women to divine proportions in their romantic imagination, as they have been endowed with the capacity to determine which men have "the right stuff."
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LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #women #dating
Loved this video. Really liked the thumbnail, I think it captures the sheer beauty and terror that is feminine energy. I would love to know who it is based on. Thanks for your content and I hope to hear an answer
It depends on country law. In America, that could be interpreted as harasment, in suthern europe, girl that rejects a guy and makes ordeal out of it, can be fired instead of you. I did also asked my coworker on a date, she was fourious and called my boss, company lawyer. At the end, she was thretened to be fired, because she blackmailed company that she was harased by coworker. That couldn't happen in Amerika only in Suthern EU.
Most of us aren't "scared," we see a no win situation and we choose not to participate. That's not scared, that's smart.
Would you use that same demeaning accusatory language to describe women or people of color? Why is it OK to use that language in reference to men? Go look in the mirror you might discover you're part of the problem.
Approach anxiety is baked into our psyche. It is there to put a cap on sexual activity. Most men have no business approaching most women. In fact men have no business approaching women at all since women are the selectors. Women haveto do nothing to engage a man…..just look at him and he is chosen. Plus men only have one interest in women. If it wasn’t for sex men and women would be two separate species
threat or promise?
I made the mistake of asking out a coworker. Not only did she reject me but it ended up being a huge ordeal. I was labelled a creep and almost destroyed my job. Just expressing an interest in a girl can have serious consequences.
Job survival 101.
Did she give any signals that she was interested in you before you asked her out?
You shouldn't date your co workers. I learned this lesson the hard way
That's rough man, it's a shame that we've socially degraded like this.
Dude, that was stupid.
I’m not afraid of rejection. I’m afraid of public humiliation.
From the "empathetic sex"?
💯% facts. you will be all over tiktok, along with the gym bros who are checking out the gym bunnies.
@@steve3131Hands down, that was the best marketing gaslighting in history to get men to think women were empathetic at all, let alone more empathetic than we are. 😂
@@djangomarine6658 Indeed. Guy friends for a guy are generally more trustworthy than girlfriends for girls. Have you ever heard of guy friends working hard to convince a husband to break up his happy marriage to a high value traditional housewife, in order to date said high value woman? This behavior is common among women, enough to be cliche. The idea of "fairer" sex is a relatively recent invention that came along with romanticism. Through most of human history, society correctly identify females as the less trustworthy half. References in this comes up repeatedly in not just Abramhamic religions, but also eastern philosophical based religions like Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism.
Odds of public humiliation are pretty low. That’s like saying you’re never going to drive a car because you might have an accident.
Didn’t they tell us to leave them alone? So that’s what most of us are doing.
Women don't give a f about most men since they're low value to them.
💯
Who is they? Overgeneralization
Yet, they usually still get mad or aren’t satisfied even when they get what they want. Talk about insufferable.
That applies to you, not chad
I can relate to that last point. When a woman is interested you don't have to offer much to the conversation. Women could hold an entire conversation in the mirror so if you are getting short closed off responses you know she is not feeling you.
But then we go back to only looks. If you are good looking, tall, handsome, waste an inordinate amount on your attire then you are in, otherwise you are out since outward appearance seems to be the only deciding factor, what else could it be when you haven't even talked, just approached?
@@ready2 Newsflash - it's always've been looks only.
Women don't want a guy to talk. If they wanted to hear their date talk, they'd be dating a woman.
@@cor.tenebrarum Well sure but before there was also social pressure to find someone and it wasn't so "in" to have such high standards, not openly anyway. Society used to curb on women's hypergamy.
@@ready2 well now we have matriarchy so it's the other way around.
To add on, in my observation, women’s natural lack of empathy towards men makes it very hard for them to see things from a males perspective. They only see themselves and the men they find attractive, not men as a whole. Even if men are suffering or going through hard times, women view it as some sort of punishment for unfortunate situations they’ve experienced in the past, or experiences other women have been through. When viewing the world this way, even a video like this isn’t going to matter to them, they see men’s struggles as ‘pay back’. Speaking about our problems to women doesn’t bring us anywhere, which is why men tend to try to find solutions to these problems, on their own. 👍💯
👏
They will even do mental gymnastics like "not all men" but then go at it again.
@@alienkishorekumar When trying to explain to women about men’s issues, they always resort to anecdotal experiences as a defense mechanism to go against the whole conversation at hand. That in itself always causes a deviation for them to quickly reclaim ‘victim status’. This doesn’t help with the conversation, nor does it help us get closer to a solution. Therefore, conversing with women about men’s struggles is pointless and a waste of time.💯
You're spot on that they only see themselves because they really try to cut out the competition with other women with things such as "body positivity", "she's too young for you", "don't approach women anywhere except clubs, bars, and dating apps (places where they get the most free attention)", etc. They're brutal, man.
@@Khan-rz8qi yes, experience tells me that it's even worse. show weakness, sickness, lose your job, merely don't advance from the time she chose you, and you'll not only not get the compassion you would give to your girl, friend, or family. from a girl you'll be punished for having troubles with contempt by her on top of your troubles. the expression "double trouble" doesn't do the experience justice. after a number of relationships my conclusion is that being with a woman is not at all a partnership, it's more like keeping a dangerous animal as a pet 😎
Approaching women in a time of "virtual introduction" is a challenge for both men& women. Pay attention to your average social setting like a shopping center, restaurant, library, etc, and you see a reluctance from people to even look one another for fear of actual human contact. I don't see things getting better in the future.
Maybe it is better that way
This is a problem. Virtual contact is just to transform a natural thing in a bussines. It will go on and on in the near future. After we will have to pay to walk in the street
@@rene-rv6pp I agree.....Sci- Fi existence
both 'virtual intro' as well as real-live appeoaches (worst: simping, an sort of) need to be let gone of, substituted by unconditional indifference | ignorance. no f.o.m.o. to hold, no gents' m.e.a.t. to be 'in-wasted' to current xx.s, other than transactionally. any xx.s as such need be given 'you2' non-treatment as all aren't reluctant to benefit from current gyn.fasc mess if opportunity arises.
Thats what the wo*en wanted for us men. To be so sick and tired of these games we gave up.
And we dont care when they come crawling, crying, back to us once they hit their wall at 30.
We adapt to loneliness. Wo*en doesnt.
100% spot on. What i find incredible is how women do their best to kill male approaches by saying "creepy," or Me Too movement, and then complain the thing they killed doesn't happen. I can't tell you how many women's posts I've seen saying men don't pursue them anymore.
Well they get old. What is the point of men pursuing used up resentful chick's.
@@josephang9927they get old and are incapable of understanding that society isn’t why men aren’t approaching them anymore. Everything is always a rejection of the natural to them because women at their core hate nature while being the most at it’s mercy.
That is in USA but not the whole world has gone woke, if you go to different countries poeple have different set behaviors. Chances of meeting a fine woman in Mexico for a Mexican is surely higher then for American in America. Surely poepleare a bit brain washed this day's and that affects western society.
@@josephang9927 Which are all chicks.
These women don't even know you're deleting themselves out of existence. Mother Nature is one cruel...
The flip side of men's approach anxiety is the female anxiety of being approached by a man they perceive as being of lower status, because it makes them question their own worth. This isn't only a female thing. It's an ego thing. And ego is rampant these days.
This comment is underr 😂😂😂
This comment is underrated 😂😂😂
This is quite interesting.
This.
It goes even deeper than that. Apparently, women perceive disgust differently than men. For them, it feels a lot closer to actual physical pain. If an ugly dude asks a girl out, depending on how gross she finds him, it might literally be the same feeling as if he straight up punched her in the stomach.
It would partially explain why they seem to lash out so harshly when asked out by ugly dudes in public. They get put into full fight or flight mode from the encounter. The other part is, like you said, their ego and their reputation. By publicly denouncing men she feels are beneath her, she can better preserve her theoretical perceived value on the totem pole of attraction.
Mother Nature kind of did a crap job at developing systems that would encourage the population to grow and prosper. I think men and women have never understood each other throughout history, and have likely always despised one another in general. The solution our tribal ancestors had was literally to never interact with one another outside of special occasions and nighttime fun. They didn't even raise the kids together: children stayed with their mothers until the sons were old enough to hunt with the men and be raised by their fathers from then on. Daughters stayed with their mothers all the way until they got married.
The reality is that humanity is not evolutionarily equipped to exist in a perpetual coed society. In the past, there were public places where men and women could be separate from one another and recharge. Today, no such options exist for men, so it's no surprise that so many men have checked out from women entirely. In the same vein, the workplace used to be a lot more bifurcated with most departments being virtually all men or all women.
It's an impossible problem to solve in the current social paradigm. Any attempt at making an all-men's space is seen as exclusionary and misogynistic, even though women would benefit from men getting to recharge too. The workplace will never return to its past incarnation for the same reason. It will take a full collapse of the status quo and a subsequent period of rebuilding to (hopefully) be better off. Until then, we are living through multiple lost decades of malaise.
Your thoughts?
I'm seeing a lot more apathy than fear.
There is some fear most definitely .. I see a lot of guys trying to justify not trying .. that said there is a lot of apathy as well. I mean, I get it to a point but guys are just giving up altogether which I don’t understand
@@brianmeen2158nothing complex here, men is just choosing sanity over everything else…I guess…
@@brianmeen2158 sometimes avoiding fear is not cowardice but a sign of a rational mind , hey but i do see cowardice as a sign of virtue for me , i embrace the wrong things that humans labelled as bad and so life is really fun so far 😁😁
I agree. Apathy describes it perfectly.
@@brianmeen2158 My wife is 20 years younger. I didn't understand why the guys her age seemed unconcerned about learning a trade or getting a job, moving out, having a car, and having a gf. Maybe the average guy has decided there's no point in any of it unless he's 6'4 or more. Even if he's making $90K or more it's never enough. Seems like they're deciding that none of the juice is worth the squeeze and that's scary. It won't end well for anyone.
I used to think it was fear. But have come to realize it is my Unconscious telling me to not pursue that one.
Trust your gut.
'Unconscious'? Oh contraire
well... also drug addiction may come to be managed to some degree in rationally staying sober - after breaking through certain auto pilot modes, that is, which may inflict some pain, to begin with. but xx.s aren't indispensable for physiological relaxation, as via seggs. and with usual (recommended) contraceptions applied, blood lines aren't being furthered by latter anyway either.
@@VaronPlateando - not judging: but you sound high…
@@michaelgarrow3239 :-D nothing here as for above: and you might elevate yourself, or not !? presumably then you could express yourself in commenting on my remarks rather than ventilating ‚ad hominem‘ fog - to put it dryly. but let‘s go own ways.
@@VaronPlateando - I don’t know what was ad-hoc..? But your English skills are non-puka.. perhaps a junior college English class- and you too could write in complete sentences.
The issue with "just do it anyway " is that you are giving the group who need it least free attention and validation. If anything they need less of it to bring them back down to reality. I genuinely believe politely ignoring women is a positive social good in the modern world.
and even politeness is a giveaway, actually. but one practices it for one's own sake, in a way.
The issue with "just do it anyway" is that it's stupid and reckless. Every man wants to secure his chances with a good success rate. Why shoot blanks? Gestures speak volumes, only then should it be clear weather to approach or not.
…and you’re asking someone to engage in what has become a high risk behavior for a reward that is increasingly not worth the risk.
I once told a female co-worker who was loudly having a conversation in my presence about hair color. I’m made the mistake of saying off-handedly, “I think the best color (for a woman) is the one Mother Nature gave her….”
Just a general comment. Nothing remotely personal. The result.
I got (literally) cursed out. I got loudly cursed out for basically giving an indirect compliment…and people were looking at her as if she’d lost her mind…
Who in their right mind would risk asking her out and having to deal with the apocalyptic consequences of her not being interested?
Anyone?
Not to mention the fact that "playing the numbers game" is actually detrimental to your chances of getting together with a woman. Imagine, if you will, that a group of people enjoy gossiping, and they start talking about the guy who tried asking them all out, and they all, in turn, rejected.
Women want what other women want or have. If a woman knows that other women don't want you, your chances with her are slim to none.
She's getting all free attention & validation she wants with her IG account.
I'd just like to state for the record that I myself am not afraid of being rejected. My issue is: modern women aren't worth chasing.
It would be one thing if they were quality women. But getting rejected today is like the dumpster fire telling you there ain't enough room.
Yep, we're men, we still want sex, but these women these days, yeesh, they really don't understand that wanting a piece of ass does not mean he's obsessed/in love. But they all jump to that conclusion. Helps their ego. Defends again have to realize that she just might be only slightly desired for a poke, during a dry spell.
@@bendowney5822 yeah they're coping so hard. Modern women aren't worth pursuing unless you're a simpoid. And let's be real: women DO approach a man (mainly via DMs) if he's high value enough (top 5%). So remind me again why "it's a man job to approach"?
Import a woman from the east.
You're giving up on women? Geez
Cope
I had a girl-friend at work (meaning she was an actual ‘friend’ in the literal sense) that I was pretty close to. We spent alot of time together and talked alot at work. There was a mutual coworker that I didn’t know very well but was always very nice to me and even called me by name when we passed each other in the hallway, etc. One day, I asked my friend about this co-worker, her name, if she was single, had kids, etc., just out of curiosity. I didn’t know this girl so I had no idea if I was even interested in her at this point, I was mainly curious because she seemed to know me and was always so nice. So my friend went back and told her I was ‘interested’ in her. This girl, our mutual coworker, barely spoke to me again, and if we passed each other in the hall, she reacted as if at any moment, I would reach out and r*pe her. This went on for two years until I got another job. So for TWO YEARS she made me feel like trash because another girl told her I was interested in her. She never once asked me if it was true. She just decided it was and that I needed to be punished for my desires.
You’re not attractive, she was repulsed and disgusted
Walking on minefield of suicide mission 😂
@@renegade2325yep ugly dudes get the creep treatment 😅
You spent a lot of times but still don't know her name? Sounds like you were just someone to pass the time aka emotional tampon. Next time, actively try to weed that kind of person out as soon as possible.
She didn't "make you feel" like anything. Those are your own feelings and projections.
She freaked because she just used you for attention and didn't care for you s-xually. Low value men are "creepy".
I used to have rejection anxiety. Now I instead have rejection fatigue. It feels pointless when every woman I talk to either wont respond, or disappears after some time. No one has the patience to get to know me, and doesn't let me to really get to know them either. So now I don't bother anymore.
They all Chad chasers
Your problem is your low value as a man. Don't try to play the game from a handicapped position but use that energy to better yourself. Women will offer themselves to you when you have value.
Spot on!
@@edheldude lol ain't no gym for the face or height ya got a brain?
Just be more chadddd broooo
It's the fear of being branded as a sexual predator. In small towns and tribes, it's a death sentence.
LETS TALK 🆙.
Approaching the wrong woman today can destroy you
It can be a high impact financial decision.
@@mbg9650 yes, 10 years in prison from a F@ke s3x charge can be highly impacting on your finances.
Every woman is the 'wrong' woman - that's the problem!!!
@@tancreddehauteville764 I knew someone would write that.. lol.
@@josealexi5141 let’s be honest though, fake sex charges are extremely rare. Just be smart in how you talk to women and act sensibly. You guys are trying to justify not even trying
I’m 47 years old, never had a girlfriend and never had even a date in my whole life. I know i will die a childless and lonely old man one day, and that’s ok, i accepted my fate years ago. Been living COMPLETELY on my own my entire adult life, learned to enjoy my own company, learned to become a responsible adult, learned to become both the man and the woman of the house, traveled around Europe (all by myself) and seen many beautiful places. I work hard for my money, i keep fit and healthy and enjoy my peaceful life.
Had my fair share of rejection over the years, of course, who hasn’t, but i’ve learned to mind my own business and not even try anymore, no point. It is what it is, life goes on.
The biggest lesson i learned in all of this is that my happiness doesn’t depend on any woman, it depends on me. Thank you ladies for teaching me this most valuable lesson. I got to the point where women almost don’t even exist for me, if i see/meet someone i actually like or find interesting, i just keep on walking and mind my own business, i know there’s no point. Been here many times before, no point even trying, just keep moving like she’s not even there. It is what it is., bring on tomorrow.
Sounds good, yet here you are watching self-help videos about why men are afraid to approach women.
@@Delrin3030
If i watched videos about Neptune, what would you read into that then?
@@HolyRainbowismGreat comeback.
@@HolyRainbowism You dropped this. 👑
😢
I'm not afraid of rejection, I'm tired of rejection. Big difference.
Exactly. He assumes the problem is men being scared which is an incorrect assumption.
Could you do something different to get the attention of women? Dressing differently,knowing how to talk to women?
@@silverlining6259 Having more money, lol.
All it takes is 1 girl to reject you for every other girl to reject you.
@@Trex10100yea because girls don’t want guys that other girls don’t want so I’m finna fucking be lonely forever
What do you win if she decides to play the game? In the long run you get to enter into a relationship in which you're hostage to her emotions. The moment she no longer gets the tingles she can walk, and you have to pay her expenses if you were silly enough to marry her.
Extinction doesn't scare me. I was married. She took my fear of death in the divorce.
What do you win? You might get to have a really fun conversation with her. Why think of a relationship? Pay her expenses? Marry her?
it's a game you're looking to score my friend, that's why he said to "serve the ball". unfortunately men serve too hard like asking out on the first chance. You have to let the game flow and soon she will be wanting to be scored.
Well damn
maybe some pumping action
@@rbg01 There is another game where you score every time. Going to escort or prostitute.
No one is afraid of nothing. It is just not worth the effort anymore.
Yeah so afraid of wasting time
true, even if they ask me its BIG NO
That’s a lie. You know damn well the average joe blow is TERRIFIED to go talk to any girl he perceives as an 7.5 or better
bruh c'mon.. what r ur expectations in these days fr???
@@AwakenZennot everything that you don’t do is fear
Better title: Why men don't want to deal with Western women.
Much more accurate. Western society has become consumed with degeneracy and hedonism, I've been a victim of this myself. Women are not loyal, your social caste is determined by measured 'clout', not any real success. I have a well paying job, house, and good looks. I talk to women but I find it difficult to WANT to be in a "western relationship". It does not vibe with me. 31 years young and single, disappointed that I have no lover, but I also appreciate my money and time and how much freedom I have.
@@scuffeddeimos💯
@@GrantBerger-jc7ks I don't plan on giving a single person my whole life, I also don't plan on dating as many women as possible, that's tiring as all get out and fails to align with me. You can't possibly think that becoming a player is the ultimate goal in life?
@@GrantBerger-jc7ks I get what you are saying and I appreciate you 🙏 I may consider your previous comment but I have tried to live that way, it is tiring to me.
I would normally agree with this statement, but there is the Korean 4B movement.
I was once deep in the whole seduction/pick up scene and approached over 1000+ girls in one year (yes I had a lot of time, while writing my thesis!). I had some success but I realized how pathetic all this stuff actually is. We put so much effort into women just to get sex. Thats all about. The sad part is, if you dont deliver you will just get crushed thats it. It does not matter if you are stuttering, are nervous af, dont feel well. Women most of the time dont give a fuck if you dont perform as they want. They dont want the guy who is leaving his comfort zone and is approaching even though he is nervous AF. They want the cool guy, where it looks he talked to 10000 of girls but in the same time you are the choosen one.
They just don’t appreciate how hard it actually is to leave your comfort zone like that.
I had girls telling me, they rejected all other guys because they were creppy af but I was special, but in the same time 100 girls rejected me and say that i was creepy af even though i said the same shit.
The only think i can say, be on the right time at the right place and you have 100 more chances than when your style would be on point, you are happy af, doing the most creative approach ever etc.
EIYPO. Make yourself #1 priority.
aright no problem, I'll quit my regular job and start chasing waman full-time. Maybe I'll score something next year.. 😂
damn
The right time and place - good luck with that
What exactly do you mean by "on the right time at the right place" ?
Let’s talk about rejection and women. Decades ago when I was single, I went on a date with an attractive young woman. We had flirted off and on and initially I enjoyed her company. Incidentally we lived in the same college dormitory. After our first real date, I walked her back to her room. She was very clear with her body language that she wanted some more intense physical activity. After we kissed, there was just something that didn’t feel right for me. I’ve never been one to move really fast. I was hyper concerned about unwanted pregnancy and STIs. So I used to vet my date’s pretty extensively. I was young and inexperienced with communication and could not think of a good way to say, I had a nice date but I don’t want to go any further right now. So I simply excused myself politely and said I will see you around. (I know that’s awful) chica got pissed and told everyone in my dorm that I was gay. (This was the 90s so different world). I felt betrayed and basically never spoke to her again. I guess she could not imagine that a guy would not take advantage of what she was offering.
you have to realize you frustrated her, she was horny and you let her down. Simply a different energy approach between you too. it's okay it doesn't have to work everytime.
Did people actually believe her? Was anyone interested in your side of the story?
@@rbg01She's the one who should've recognized that and not spread rumors immediately.
You had bad communication, she had petty revenge
Are you gay 😂 j/k friend.
I think that more than being afraid, the #1 reason men do not approach women anymore is because the idea of dealing with a modern woman is just generally unappealing. Sure, sex is appealing but the vast majority of men know there is a lengthy process involved and it just isn't worth their time usually.
Exactly my guy, all those emotion terror for just a stank is not worth it.
Not to also mention, even if you were to find a woman and establish a relationship, her Hypergamy is still flowing on overdrive. With the advent of social media and smartphones and tighter connected cities, you’re indirectly competing with thousands of not millions of men around the world for your own woman!! Those offers tend to be VERY enticing to women, so realistically you’re just a placeholder in that relationship until she decides to jump ships. And even if she doesn’t jump ships, women tend to become resentful because they ‘settled’, putting their partner in question in position to always be mentally and emotionally abused for that disappointment. All around, it’s just not a good deal. Add the divorces rates and women’s significant increase in infidelity, and it’s a wrap.💯
A girl recently gave me her number. I can't bring myself to contact it. The amount of time, money, and energy involved is too tiresome. I can't summon the motivation, it's not a fear thing at all.
@@Crippylongstockings She likely gave her # to nine more dudes.
@@mbg9650and even to me
Approaching a woman today can have nasty consequences. Shame, gossip, hostile reaction. And social media can broadcast it out for the whole world to see. Ever been a victim of the old bait and switch? I have. That sucks. A woman can give you all the right signals to show interest, and when you make the move (that she’d never do) she rejects you gently. That was a nice little exercise to see if she could get you. She gets a little boost of confidence at your expense. No consequences on her part! She plays the victim. And the cycle repeats. There is a lot to lose here gentlemen because your time, effort and attention are a valuable commodity. And deserve to be treated with more respect. But that’s not likely with modern women.
At the end of the day though, you have to ask yourself.... "Do I really want to be alone?"
@@Psmitty97its alot better than some cow making your life worse and you’re begging to be alone by then..
@@Psmitty97 I'm not alone. I have my son, my family, and my friends.
Corporate psychopath women uses this trick to get rid of the staff at workplaces
It still hunts me
Ive boxed, grappled and done mma competetively and win or lose, none of the pre or post fight anxiety compares to the nerves i feel approaching a woman...sober. being an introvert damn sure doesnt help either
Damn 😂😂
Damn, appreciate that perspective
That's because most of it is in your head. You know what to expect in the fight. Other guy is gonna hit you and try to take you down, you gotta do the same. With a woman, these days it could be a fucking wild card.
Firstly, huge respect to you for your sport accomplishments, but regarding approaching women, it's easy. You're only nervous if you consider them to have power over you. OK, legally they do if they think you're a creep. You just have to remember that you're a tribe leader - you've already managed to prove that with your MMA wins - and that you need to think of women as rather beneath you in stature. They'll test you for your confidence because they want to undermine you, but either laugh them off or just don't acknowledge her tests. Being an introvert doesn't have much to do with it. Can you present yourself to the public as being happy? That doesn't mean you have to engage with everyone. How do you feel after a fight? Charged with endorphins? I go to the gym 5x a week, so I'm quite different with people after it. Only talk to the women who give you strong signals but it's you who's got the power. She's got to recognise that as she's got to allow you to lead, and you have to assume you're going to lead and she's going to follow. If she's showing signs she won't, don't bother with her. Just shrug your shoulders if she rejects. Never put too much store in each women you talk to.
The trouble you'll have is the quality of the women you get to meet. You'll meet many more women than us mortals, but you'll sift through more than we do to find one who isn't a waste of time. I'd love to do what you do, but I wouldn't see without my glasses, and I'd get beaten up within a minute!
I've raced drag bikes and climbed cell towers for a living and feel the same way lol.
It's not as bad as it gets. That women sometimes will tell all the other women in the relative social circle, humiliating and ruining your ability to serve the ball to other women who might have been interested before he heard about what was supposed to be a personal rejection.
Indeed. They immediately go clucking to the other hens about how they shot you down in order to boost their status, while destroying yours. Nasty stuff, really.
women choose whatever they want. Men just need to walk away if a woman doesn’t want you even in the slightest.
Stop letting them choose whatever they want. Why should a powerless bitch get to dictate shit
True if a w we omen doesn’t have a decent level of desire for the guy then the guy doesn’t need to bother. You can’t earn attraction to any significant degree
They don’t get to eat their cake and have it too. They don’t get the satisfaction of being chased while also protected from ever being approached by someone they aren’t attracted to. Life doesn’t work that way.
Because the guy one woman wants is a guy a number of women would never consider. So all men face rejection…and if you make the cost of it to be the destruction of your life? Men are going to stop doing it.
Okay we’ll leave you alone. All of you
@@kellygreeniidon't worry man, there's always that one guy who is the real deal, the creep, the sociopath and the psychopath. They'll destroy her once they get rejected.
@@limitlesssky3050facts
I see young friends rejected by inferior women all the time. I feel very bad for young guys today. It’s true even for my generation that- our Grandfathers worked 1/2 as hard to get Women twice as good. To be regarded as a creep by a creepy woman has got to be the ultimate insult. God bless..
You don’t get to determine who’s inferior
@@nstar1372
Somehow I know you'd say "da wamenz has da right to reject inferior menz111!!!!"
@@nstar1372 high quality person = superior
low quality person = inferior
simply as
@@nstar1372 The market defines who is superior and inferior, and individual men can generally tell who is objectively superior and inferior.
@@nstar1372 why not? Women do it all the time.
Afraid? Some men may be afraid but seems to me it's more of a cost/benefit analysis.
Decades ago, rejection was a minor concern (emotionally) with minor consequences (legally or professionally). Today, rejection involves major consequences (legally or professionally) when the 'wrong' woman is approached.
Oh yeah, also on social media today where reputations can be ruined by mere accusations. Cost/benefit.
Based
Disagree. Most women still want to be approached and despite what many of you guys echo constantly - the chances of them accusing you of a crime for just approaching them
Is so insanely slim .. I have never met a man that has ever been accused of a crime for just approaching a woman and that’s how my generation met women
@@brianmeen2158You've haven't talked to enough men cause I've met several.
@@brianmeen2158 lol I was falsely accused of sexual harassment/sexual assault at work by three different women. I ''approached'' only one of them, the other two came at me out of nowhere. Luckily for me, this was back in the 1980's when evidence was required to prove an accusation but that is not the case today. Disagree with that.
Oh, by the way, those three ladies were fired by my boss for their behavior. That also would not happen today...
@@brianmeen2158Approaching women is a mistake for men. Let women do approaching. They always chase after the men they want.
Approaching women was fun and exciting in my 30s. I was secure in my career, had money, looked good. Not a lot of things made me nervous anymore save approaching. Even rejection was fun. BUT that was 10 years ago when facebook was the only social media. Now girls will live stream the approach - must be terrifying for guys.
girls may but real women will not... wake up and act like a man!
Nailed it. Videoing people in public should be illegal. That's what security cameras are for. There's no reason why someone should have the right to put someone's face on the internet or share private messages for the world to see. It should be illegal with prison time and heavy fines
until you come across a woman that will harass you and stalk you
@@nocapbussinwhy should security cameras have the right to film and not a member of the public?
Thats Interesting can of worms you’ve opened there.
@@nocapbussin when you're in PUBLIC, you have NO expectations of privacy. you are advocating for some fascist police state.
I have heard recently this, what I will call, a neo-proverb "Men today must put in ten thousand times the effort to secure one tenth of a woman that they're grandfathers did". It is not fear, it is revulsion.
Rejection is nothing compared to being falsely accused of rxpx or hxrxssmxnt, leading to financial cancellation which hits the very foundation of one of the things that characterizes being a man, being able to provide. That's why I believe rejection itself is not the reason, for we can simply brush it off and on to the next one. Not mentioning the entire Western judicial system is vastly wxmxn-centric.
The era of "approaching a woman" is gone. Now its all algorithms and preparing your resume to apply. That's the new approach. Your entire net worth and value is to be presented online and she decides whether to hire you or not. Too many variables to ever even consider approaching someone unknown in the physical world.
Sad that this channel and videos are gaslighting men into thinking "you just have to approach MORE!" Do you realize how ridiculous the dating game is for an average man in 2023?
Why is it more ridiculous in 2023?
@@steveos5112 before social media it was easier. Females didn't have a ton of options and constant DMs. Even in 2013-14 when Tinder et al were released, females responded more favourably. Now it's impossible to get a decent date. They all want the same ~5% of men, and they'd settle for the ONE date with a (thirsty) Chad (being ghosted aftwards), and then they think they DESERVE to _lock down_ A Chad - and then they suddenly turn 40 and wonder where 'all the good men have gone'.. It's a losing battle for both males AND females.
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 That's pretty sad. I'm 60 and out of the dating game. I but I understand. I wasn't exactly sure what you young lads had to contend with.
I hate simps. Especially those that pay for OF.
Tbf, he's saying you have to start approaching better after increasing your attractiveness.
@@raylevi5343 Exactly. Like the relationship coaches told everyone the last 10 years. But, you can increase your attractiveness only to a certain level, - my point is that females' artificially inflated hypergamy, false self esteem, "social" presence on apps, and overall social conditioning have brainwashed them into thinking they "deserve" a 9/10 guy or a so-called "bad boy" that will excite them. And if an average guy can better himself up to a 7/10 maybe, it's just not good enough. His own genes will limit him. The females still only want the top ~10%. Now, relationships still happen of course, but you can just look at the statistics in 2023, and how many children are being born (western world stats). It does not look good re: marriage, and stable nuclear family --- and men are supposed to "man up", "adapt to it", "get with the game", "be the best version of yourself".
I think most men interested in a partner already knows that. But it's not working in 2023, is my point.
It's not fear, it's us paying attention to how society now works and thinking ahead. We lose the most if things go bad
Rejection actually hurts if you are a sensitive man. And women trample sensitive man and put them in trash.
But the same women cannot take rejection.
Men and women are not the same. We are supposed to be very different.
That's a dead end to contemplate, because womyn have no empathy for men. This is why it's so important for men to have other men as friends.
@@yourfavoriteentertainmentso what.. woman isn’t superior to a man, they are extremely insecure and losers.. alot of them shouldn’t be procreating anyways
Ah, women are supposed to be hypocrites
Wrong. MMA fighters are hurt by rejection too for example... Look around the comment section
It's not so much that rejection is painful, it's the resentment that we've been baited by an insincere narcissist purely to stoke up her ego and try to gain another orbiter. In the past when I asked a woman out, I knew I was going to get a yes from her, or I knew she was going to be VERY receptive to how I acted around her. I could weed out the insincere ones very early on. It was rare that I got a 'no' or 'what were you even thinking of'. Since the millennium, the quality of women's acting has increased greatly, such that they now go to great lengths to successfully pretend to physically want me, but it turned out they're just baiting. But there's no point being angry - I'm not angry that water is wet, it just is. You just accept that women take it as their right to treat men this way.
Or, you aged. Hence it's not about physical attraction anymore, and they need the emotional connexion first to feel attraction. Seems to me you don't understand you're less physically attractive so the women you are with are not "baiting" they're waiting to get to know you and what you can offer. You've reached an age where you can't get by looks and "physical attraction" only.
@@cevanille1104 No, they're baiting. The fact that they ask me out on dates is probably proof of that only to immediately ghost me if I agree and tell her what, where, and when, and not come back and find a time that's free for the both of us. The fact that some of them like to grope, rub their hands over my pecs, like to play with my fingers, stroke my cheek, squeeze their t1ts tight against me, but it means nothing. It's the same baiting that a few women used to try in the 90s, except today it's pretty much all the women I get to meet. I don't approach women, because it's a waste of time - they always approach me, but it's to see what validation they can get from me by pretending very hard that they have interest, when they have none. Try harder justifying sh1t behaviour by women who like to use men.
I’m not AFRAID of rejection. I’m just tired of BEING rejected. This what happens when you’re a 5 or a 6 and women expect the men who approach them to be an 8 or a 9. The whole dating/mating game is a load of bullsh!t. We need a big meteor to come and do us all in. That’s the best thing that could happen to the planet at this point.
Yes. It hurts. It invalidates you as a man, as a person.
No person should feel forced to accept anyone's advances. It would just be nice if women collectively would decide to be more direct and approach men.
But tradition and enablement have spared them that. A woman takes a risk going out with a man. That is true.
But a man takes a risk by putting himself out there.
Hope you have some nice luck out there.
Any person has the right to reject advances.
But if you are making it a game for your enjoyment don't be surprised if you are not going to end up in a stable relationship.
The entire point when you approach a woman you have sexual interest in is for both of you to enjoy "The Game". The conversation, the flirting, the physical interactions should be fun and enjoyable for each other. Do you think women can't enjoy the situation just as much as men. Women constantly talk about the vibe, chemistry, tingles and so on when speaking about a new man they have met. That is because they ENJOYED the interaction they had with the new man immensely.
@@jamesdotson1080 I agree completely but I think you misunderstood my point. What I mean is that you don't have the right to make the rejection a game, e.g. being cruel etc. on purpose just to get your kicks out of it. Just decline politely and firmly. If he/she doesn't respect that decision, THEN you can take off the gloves.
@@alpinewolf7751💯
I’m afraid of approaching women because I know what they can do to my bank account
They can't do anything you don't allow.
They can't do anything to your bank account.
How bad can asking a girl out to get a drink really hurt you? I mean seriously. Who said you automatically have to spend a bunch of money?
Right idea. Lease the cow. Don't buy.
As someone who has been through marriage & divorce, I understand your point about the bank account that the obtuse among us willfully ignore when asking what on Earth a woman could do to your bank account.
What on earth are you talking about? You're not asking a woman out because you're afraid of losing money? Are you so dirt poor that a drink in a bar and a meal will bankrupt you? Or are you afraid spending a few bucks will not get you the sex you want? This is about socializing not about building your port-folio!
If you want to find someone you have to put yourself out there.
I also think tribal/nomadic early humans lived in smaller tribes compared to modern globalization. People were used to interacting with smaller amounts of people- kinda like Dunbar's number. So this evolutionarily made rejection MUCH worse for men, because men had limited attempts at pleasing a female partner plus anytime they were rejected there was a much greater likelihood other people in tribe would know about the rejection and that man would be "poisioning the well" of his sexual opprotunities
Yep. This is why also it is essential as a man to reject the friendzone as an exgf or yourself may think or you maybe perfect for Jenny. Jenny thought you were cute when you dated her friend but knowing why her friend rejected you means Jenny is no longer interested as she wants only an alpha man success with women. In your example of the tribal days a rejection was FATAL. All the girls will know why you were rejected and it is big turn off. Kind of like a negative reference in a job interview lol .
Yeah this is as old as humanity itself. Since a woman can not check every man for his qualites women will look at their female group or "sisterhood" for positive validation of a man. Because of this married men are way more attractive than single men. It sounds paradox but it is the way it is.
Furthermore we as humans are not like some kind of "fantasy elves" who have only one partner. Normally the higher status males had and still have multiple partners. In the western world it is just not official through marriage. A king or a leader of a tribe controlled other men through the access to women and procreation.
But this was and still is a double edged sword. Because high status men often tend to "hamster" so many women, there are often a lot of men without a partner. And this is the cause for civil unrest, conflict and even removal of the old king or leader. Because for a young man without a partner or the possibilty of procreation is the same as genetic death sentence for his heritage. Because of this up to this day it leads to massive problems, since you have a lot of men who will risk everything to change the hierarchy.
One of the reasons religions like christianity preached the "one man and one woman" model was to keep the civil unrest in check. Other regions of the world had models like harems. (Sultans for exmpale with harems consisting of over 1000 women.)
But harems had problems of their own. Since the competition for the "alpha" male or the high status male was fierce between the women in the harem, it often led to a lot of child deaths, because the women competing for the position of the "first wive" or "queen" tried to remove all the other competitors.
The worst part was when the old sultan died. Or in china when the old emperor died. The moment a new sultan or emperor was crowned ALL the other children of the former sultan or emperor were killed. In china even the former wives of the former emperor were killed. (And the emperor had a harem of over 1000 women too.)
Fun fact today is with all the feminism, that we are moving back even more to the "harem" model but it is simple not official on the west. Higher status men simply date and meet more women while lower status men or "normal" men don´t have a partner at all. Sometimes their whole life.
We are at a point where even normal men with normal jobs are not considered "good enough" for procreation. Of course this leads to a massive problem for society overall, since a man is often way more productive when he tries to care for his family. Men without a family have no incentive at all to contribute to society.
But i agree with a lot of people here in the comment section. Telling a woman about your problems is the wrongest thing you can do. A women will never understand male problems . Even your mother or sister won´t .
Either you figure out how to solve your problems or you don´t. But telling a women about them will only lead to even more pain.
That’s true but do remember that women were treated as if they were property. I’m assuming that whoever has the most status gets the first picks. Back then men had the choice of choosing since women did not have a say in anything.
We're not afraid at all. It's 2023 and we aren't going to coddle them anymore. It's their turn to approach and find out if they will be rejected.
No one is going to start approaching men, get over yourself 😂
^found the woman.
You are crazier than I thought with that idea.🙄
@@StarboyXL9 indeed you did 👍
@@nstar1372 well after "the wall" you will, mark my words.
“If she doesn’t want to play, you just take your ball and find someone else to serve it up to.” This isn’t just with women, this is with life. Respect your time and effort.
Even though this isn’t my situation (talking to someone) still after years of hearing “men ain’t shit”, “all men are garbage”, “leave us alone”, “only real men do this and that”, “you’re not ambitious enough”, I need some one making 6 figs or more”, “he gotta be 6 ft+” etc etc men just stopped caring. Shit ain’t even worth it. If it weren’t for the girl I’m talking to hitting me up, I would of just continued working out and going to the gym. Just better off staying single our whole lives. Shit really ain’t worth it
Fear is not the issue. I've approached women in the past. I work with young fit women. They love me and give me hugs. I've had a young women express her intrest in me last month. Yesterday I had two young women really want to talk to me at the cash register they worked at. I'm not saying all these avenues would be fruitful but I'm sure easily half could lead to a first date.
But why? I like my life. Why would I want to invite someone into it that has been weaponized against men through feminism?
Even if they claim not to be a feminist they still have been surrounded by the culture of man hating they believe it. It's like asking a fish about water and the fish doesn't even know what you are talking about.
Because not all women are feminists or men hating. Actually, the vocal minority are. Very few women are like that.
^wrong
@@yourfavoriteentertainmentyou are insanely wrong lol
Never been afraid of rejection. Yes is what's terrifying. Yes takes effort.
Well said. I dread both NO and YES, personally.
No one is afraid. Stop saying that. It is simply not worth the cost and risk anymore because women are overweight and childish. Not complicated at all.
There is no cost/risk. You are vastly overgeneralizing. There are some women who are overweight and childish. Many are not. Same with men.
@@yourfavoriteentertainmentBot
There are definitely those of us who have been afraid, it's real as rain. And if you're not at the end of your success story, how can you just get confidence out of thin air? You can't.
Towards the end of the video he stated he has approached over 1000 women. Over how much time? Was he a pickup artist or something similar? Did he live in a very large city?
In a small enough community, there is definitely a group dynamic at play. If you have been rejected by multiple women, and the next woman you approach knows this about you, it will be very difficult for her not to reject you as well. She is in competition with other women. If you're not good enough for someone else, but good enough for her, what does that say about her?
Yup. That's referred to as "poisoning the well".
Underrated comment
I live in a small town. Because I've been here so long, I know a lot of people here and in the area. And they probably know everybody else, so there's a two-degree separation from me to everyone else here. Because of that, any experience I have with one woman here will filter round the rest of the town if it's bad enough, because that's what filters around about other men and women. You get to hear stories about different people.
conversely it says that the other women were stupid to reject and that she didn't make their same mistake. That's what it says about her
@@dorsetone8142 Unfortunately this is not the case. The next girl will "match the trend" ignoring you...
I approached a woman I found attractive and said hi 👋🏿.
My court date is next week. ⚖️
This was incredible. 10/10
phq.
The only variable is the time between the two.
@@dieselscience 👏🏿
Wow that sounds like it almost happened. Nice creative writing buddy. Gold star for you ⭐️
Gentlemen, let's be rational. Rejection from a woman who's a perfect stranger feels next to nothing compared with rejection from a long-term girlfriend or a wife who initiates breakup or divorce. So don't be afraid of approaching women. Beware of choosing a wrong one.
Facts. Rejection from a brief interaction with a complete stranger is totally painless and people need to STOP WHINING. It’s rejection from someone you were INVESTED in that really hurts long term.
Tell women to go through the rejections.
@@GoldenMushroom64Tell that to women.
Still not doing it, if I do try rizz up a girl it will probably be one that I know in my college or a school friend, not some random bitch on the streets who I’ve never seen in my life
@@whatdoyoumeanbro4964 Stop cursing its a sin
Im not afraid...its just not worth it
Leaving it to Chad, human race won't go instinct.
What is this Chad thing in the manosphere? It’s always Chad this, Chad that. Chad Chad Chad. Chad sounds like a very gay name. Just sayin’.
@@annesmith9181 A placeholder.......and we all understand what it is.
@@annesmith9181I knew a Chad who had been in 50 (rough estimation) relationships by the time he was 24. He had multiple at the same time. Until 2 women were talking about their boyfriend and found out they had the same guy. That was at a birthdayparty I got the whole conversation. I also knew a garbage truck driver a real dollface. Wherever we went he had a girl/woman coming up to him chatting him up out of nowhere. And there is no secret. They dont know why it happens to them. It just does.
I think it is a combination of looks, bodylanguage and pheromones.
@@annesmith9181 CHAD, tyrone, pookie, ray ray just very attractive men that get wahmens relatively easily but ehh im 21 and i already feel ill leave the reproduction aspects to chad and tyrone too much bullshit for average men trying to date.
I've only known one person with the actual name "Chad" my entire life and he was ironically the opposite of what a Chad is. But he has been in a relationship with the same girl for at least a decade now, even though he's been beta buxxing and being an emotional tampon the entire time
Tbh It's quite strange that this channel doesn't have more followers. Those are pretty smart and solid videos here.
His channel has been growing rapidly. I remember when it was only at 9000.
I think men are also afraid to know where they truly stand with women in attractiveness or value. If they never approach then they can continue to believe their perception about themselves. It can be terrifying to find out through a female’s rejection that their belief isn’t a reality.
I love this. Basically dating is dead as a doornail. Normal behaviour is now outlawed and immoral for some reason. Total chaos.
Some women will say it's "creepy" if a guy even looks at them. Not sure how a guy would be expected to actually approach and talk to someone like that. Let alone ask her out and show sexual/romantic interest.
They're talking about ugly/average guys (but they will never admit this). They would love a chad to stare at them.
@@tonyg4058 Yes it seems to just be a social tactic that they use to keep "unattractive" guys away while preserving their own image. If they don't find the guy physically attractive enough, they can simply blame his behavior, even though he did nothing wrong, so that they don't appear superficial. That way it frames themselves as the victims and the guy as the perpetrator. This way it appears "as if" he's doing something wrong by showing interest in them. Even though we all know guys are generally expected to initiate and women spend tons of time and energy on their looks. I think women have abused the absolute hell out of that tactic and that's why a lot of guys aren't approaching women anymore. No guy wants to be shamed and lambasted just for being heterosexual. Clown world.
As a dude that gets rejected 100% of the time, I’ll pass on giving them that validation.
no validation, no cohabitation, no money......no attention. Zip.
What are you doing to get rejected 100% of the time?
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730your mom 😂
@@alienkishorekumar you asshole I knew it!😂😂
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730Here comes the positive vibes guru 😂
"Bro you just gotta hit the gym and make money bro" 😂😂😂
I love how people with no life experience think they understand everything.
The Zoomer generation is one big case study in Dunning-Kruger
As a divorced handsome Cardiologist working with mostly women everyday...I actually have to reject women. I have had some even when I was married try to get me to sleep with them. You just have to stay disciplined. There is a lot of sex going on in Hospitals these days......when it comes to asking out girls, by the time you get to be middle age, you must have grown a tough skin to rejection. People take it way to serious...I had a relative he was from Italy and a playboy they used to call them...he told me when I was a teen...... just ask everyone you like, it's a numbers game...and if they reject you just laugh it off for inside you know you are a good person and 9 out 10 times the guy she is with.... will be dumped also. Women are nuts.
As a non doctor. I do hot have that problem lol. Of course the problem you have is many are gold diggers. If the relationship doesn't work out she can always forward your sexy texts to your HR manager and viola you are fired! This is ridiculous but you got to protect your job at all costs.
Yeah women approach men all the time
I’ve similarly have had to deal with “handsy” women at work….but interestingly I’m largely invisible away from work and among those who don’t know my status as a professional.
So I see both sides. The attention that men who are perceived to be high status can get….while also understanding how invisible average men can feel at times.
The sad part is that these women are victims of their own device. Playing a game of musical chairs where most of them are going to be left without a chair when the music stops.
@@timgibney5590 Which is why you move slowly and you vet for character.
In the hospital only the doctors will get a lot of sex. Male nurses or all the other staff are basically the "beta males". No sex for them.
Always enjoy your content. Keep it up.
My girlfriend and I met online. She has asked me multiples times whether I would have approached her. I told her I would not have approached her. Sometimes I wonder whether it makes her see me less valuable. The odds are just stacked against you and most likely just end up giving the woman an ego boost and feeling miserable yourself.
If I think about it, I reckon that even before online dating most relationships probably did not start by a man approaching a random girl in a bar as the scene my girlfriend envisages. They happened through social circles.
Afraid?
But why do it really?
The disadvantages of being a male has never in history been higher.
I guess many men saves what they got left of their soul for their own sake, than playing a losing game that is rigged to their demise.
On the other side, you can keep your shred of dignity, do your hobbies, polish your car, have a few beers and have peace of mind.
With the current climate on dating apps for instance, why would I want to give what I hard earned away to someone who doesnt deserve it? Who thinks I am subpar and useless?
For myself I feel that things went bad for 45 years ago and couldn't shake the anxiety in my teens. Being a short redhead in the world owned by "tall , dark and handsome " men left me close to the bottom of the list. Life doesn't stop and if you can't keep up and socially progress with your age group you'll get left behind. There was still hope in my thirties but it quickly disappeared when I realized that I didn't have the social skills to fit in and then shame took over and I just hide in plain sight until retirement in 2020. I'm not angry, it's just life. Life isn't fair and all men are not created equal, it's luck of the draw. My new goal is to wander around the country, burned down my savings, and find a spot to finally call home and get my affairs in order.
LETS TALK. 🆙
Regarding the very last part, it's important to note that "natural, conversational reflexes" will only take over if you also honed that skill beforehand.
If you haven't, the solution is the same. Just do it. At first, you will fail, but gradually you will get better until you can naturally and effortlessly "play tennis".
some women will go out of their way to detroy the person and spread lies. this can go even if the guy rejcts the advances of a woman who is interested in them.
Because it's not worth going to prison. It isn't some mystery.
Why men have to approach women when they are the ones that benefit the most out of relationships??
if you know how basic laws of supply and demand work you should be able to answer this question quite easily
Because women control the sexual access. I do not cold approach women however. No way.
@@johngalt6838 is 2023 sex is pretty cheap. In the past acces to sex required marriage nowadays well...
@@JuliusBriggs I know them and to be honest with you high-value males are more scarce the pretty women and they still have to approach them.
@@johngalt6838 fair point but don't they also enjoy sex ?
Gentlemen, it should take very little effort to attract and pursue a women… otherwise, you already lost the game. Sublimate yourself, and you will have an effortless dating life. The problem then becomes realizing how few women are actually worth dating. Thats a better problem to have in my opinion.
That's easy for you to say. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.
Indeed. That's how it used to be, and when women were sincere up until the millennium or so. I could easily tell when I was and wasn't going to be wasting my time. When I picked up she had genuine interest, I'd initiate, and things would lead from there. That doesn't happen any more. And then I see just how much trash there is around me and it leaves me cold.
@@colerainswaggify6387 He's not wrong though. If you want even a half-decent chance statistically of getting a girlfriend, or even just a one night stand, about the only viable option is to be Chad. Everything else is so minimally beneficial that you indeed have, "already lost the game" as he put it, just by spending effort in those directions.
Ascended gym-cels can get box at least once a year on Halloween by wearing a costume that shows off their physique while masking their faces. Think of a Spartan from 300 that has the helmet covering most of the face. You could feasibly get away with keeping it on during coitus and not seeming too goofy to ruin things. Otherwise, costumes that incorporate makeup like Arnold from the Predator movie with the commando face paint might work. Switch to doggy style once you start to sweat it off though.
And then you realize that all women are leeching your resources
Fam how many times do I have to say it’s not easy to attract women IF YOU’RE NOT ATTRACTIVE TO THEM! You’re only saying it takes little effort coz you’re probably a fairly attractive guy and so you don’t even need to try to get a girl, for us average niggas it’s hard because even the mid chicks have big egos and think they deserve fucking Danny devitos, Michael b Jordans, Brad Pitts, Zayn Maliks and shit. The reason I can’t get women is because I’m not attractive
I've discovered--as counter intuitive as it might sound--that approaching women in groups, 3 or 4 women together on a night out or a shopping spree, is far more productive. There always seems to be at least one of them that will show some easy interest. I also find that women are quite competitive and will in their not so subtle way show their interest.
Thank you for this. I hadn't put my failures in the past down to the crucible of self worth, but this all now makes so much sense to me.
Very astute observation. I never thought to leverage their innate sense of competition like that.
@@LustyLichKing I came by it quite accidentally, and while it’s not fool proof 100% of the time, the odds are far better.
I already realize I'm an anomaly..
I have never been _"afraid"_ but more annoyed and just tired of it.
Indeed!
You aren't an anomaly. Most men are not "afraid" or "intimidated." Most are simply annoyed.
@@dlbutler It's not my own POV that makes my anomalous, it's my interactions with women. Outside of a professional setting, I generally ignore women I have not been introduced to WHILE being polite. Otherwise, I completely play down 'alpha' behavior - my wife appreciates that - and we've been propositioned by single women for threesomes three times.... it's bizarre.
I would say you are the majority, really. This whole fear of rejection thing is an old school way of thinking and might have been the case a decade or more ago, but is not the issue today.
@@maxjohnson1758 The rest of the story is I've been married almost 30 years. I'm an engineer who did theater acting in college, I'm _not_ the majority.
Not worth the trouble isn't the same as being afraid.
Then women wonder why we don't have the confidence to ask out right? ... rolls eyes. Unfortunately, work is how most people traditionally met. If I get labeled a creep to HR my career IS DONE! HR will always take the women side and it is no one's business of responding to a manager saying "Hey why are you hitting on my employees?". Of course women can stare and wink but we can't.
Women have asked me in the office if I have a Prince Albert piercing, have asked me if I'm a grower or a shower, have asked me for details about my s3x life. All in front of an office full of other women. Can I ask her if she's had her labia or nipples pierced, if she gets wet easily if she sees an attractive man, and how many men she f--ked before marrying? No, thought not.
I am 60, single, childless, never married, and you can call me a failure if you like, that doesn't bother me. I feel just wonderful with my freedom. Singledom can be lonely, unfulfilling sometimes challenging, but so is a marriage. I would not swap my singledom for the marriage of most of my friends. Single or married, life is what you can make of it. Just make an effort and as we were taught at school, caring is sharing. I am happy to be extinct. I don't measure by self worth by a woman's yardstick. Women have not replaced God as a arbiter of my self worth. That is ridiculous.
The threat of being recorded and posted online and humiliated. Most men just look to be left alone at this point. Too risky nowadays.
People are actually afraid of being recorded? That’s a 99.9% irrational fear. You could approach 1,000 women and not have that happen once. Even if it does happen, the odds of the video being viewed by enough people to make a difference is non existent. Only a tiny fraction of the content posted online reaches a large viewing audience. This is an imagined “threat”.
@@brawndothethirstmutilator9848I know. Jesus these guys are finding every reason to not approach. The likelihood of a woman filming them approach her is do remarkably slim and yet they talk as if more than half of women are recording when our in public.. this is ridiculous and absurd
I think the best thing these guys could do is stop watching content like this. They are completely
Psyching themselves out of the game
@brianmeen2158 The best things guys can do is stop listening to all you clowns who want them to give women free validation and time/money. You "gurus" are way past your time and men are seeing through these little childish love games more and more.
@brianmeen2158 Grown men are done playing ridiculous "games" that's a good thing.
In my country Germany they made it a crime, namely a "sexual assault" to touch a woman "inapropriately" (without defining it properly).
Means: you go on a date, or stand near a woman in a full bus in a rush hour and accidently or purposely touch a woman on a shoulder (yes, that little can already be deemed inapropriate) and you're in jail!
First convictions followed immediately, with much fuss in the mass media.
It rendered dead ANY romantic interactions with women overnight!
Means: a woman now can ruin your live at the drip of a hat. No way I let this happen to me!
Since then (Sept. 2016) I happily went full monk mode, reverting to chat with female game streamers I like and watching "harem themed" anime & hentai. Never been happier. BTW. I am 6'4 legit Channing Tatum lookalike.
Every time I get approached by a woman, I press REC and politely decline. When they ask as to why - I point out the law text and advise them to write to our president to change the law. Ofc it's a joke, but unless we men vocalize our discrimination and vote against with our wallets (and our -dicks- feet), it will otherwise only get worse.
in australia you can't look at women without consent - there's even a nightclub where the bouncers kick guys out for wearing sunglasses (for the lights) because they want to see where you're looking and if you have consent
In March last year, posters stating 'intrusive staring of a sexual nature is sexual harassment and is not tolerated' have been appearing at London Underground stations and on their trains. And what's intrusive staring in law? No idea. It's entirely subjective and is up to the woman to decide, if you happen to be looking past her shoulder at something, or if you're lost in thought. The only safe way you can avoid getting prosecuted for doing this is to avoid looking at a woman at all.
It doesn’t matter how many subscriptions this channel will get - it will always be underrated
People need to stop reducing it to "approach anxiety". That just makes it sound like its a fear of rejection when it has bene established multiple times now that its beyond that. Anyone who says its "just anxiety", doesnt understand the other risks that cant simply be reduced to something as simple as "anxiety"
I think if we could find that balance of being whole on our own while still being open to intimate relationships if/when they arise, it would be easier. Finding a partner is such a huge goal for most people, and the lack of success can be disheartening. So much of our worth is put on that and it doesn’t need to be. Loneliness isn’t a death sentence.
I don't have this issue at all. One day, I made it a point to talk to every woman I'm attracted to if she appeared to be single - even if she's in a group. After a while, my skills improved as did my confidence. You learn that there are so many reasons a woman might reject you: She's not single, she doesn't like you (that's allowed), she doesn't have time, she doesn't feel good, whatever - so going in, you must just expect a certain amount of rejection as the norm. Having said that, I've been surprised at how receptive most women really are - even if they're taken. It's a compliment when you approach. I made a game of it, in my own head and actually found it difficult to stop when getting involved - because the process can be exciting. Most importantly, I've learned it's good to be somewhat disagreeable, up front, to establish that you are your own person and you don't 'need' them. Neediness is a massive turn off for women & they can smell it a mile away. Separate yourself by disqualifying them in a nice way, quickly - and they often can resist to try and win you over a bit. After all, we all like to be desired.
I don't buy this explanation. Sure rejection isn't nice but it's not that bad.
What worries me is how hostile the reaction can be, either from the woman or other people.
One word and you're branded a harrasser or worse, and there's no end to it. And it's not like people are reacting to what I've done, I think a lot of people are on the lookout just for things like that. Particularly other men because it's their time to shine and put down another guy.
It's the only chance they have to be assertove in their live. So it's not like you just made a mistake and tripped up. It's almost like you're in a leaky boat, and this reaction is the water trying to get in.
Stuff like that happened over and over to me when I was a kid.
Exactly. I’ve NEVER worried about what a woman thinks. I worry about other men trying to destroy my reputation to try to get sex out of it
Women don’t run reputations. Men do. And that’s why men hate other men so much. Because men only judge men the same way they judge women - by their sex worth
Underrated channel. I've been binge watching your vids Doc. Thanks for giving these info to us for free!!
There's a thing called "approach rape." That's when you approach a woman you don't know, for any reason evidently. It can get you into a lot of trouble here in the Bay Area. It's probably better, and safer, to refrain from the interacting with any women you don't know, at least around here. Spain is cool. Chicks come up to you there (sometimes hot ones)!
" The word "glamour" means to bewitch men into believing that they are more than they are "
From 2:20 to 7:20 are the best 5 minute explanation I've heard in the last 20 years to sum up the entire ideology of the modern dating world from a scientific/ historical/ psychoanalytical viewpoint , Kudos !
Could you talk about the impact of Tinder and related stuff in relation to rejection and future of humanity and extintion? 🙂
Yeah pls
Very few people would understand this. I have heard many women saying why the guy is so devastated for simply being rejected by a woman (or broken up with). Understanding this concept would help many women understand the level of devastation they cause men by rejecting them.
Women dont care! They know what men go through, stop acting like they are Oblivious..
Dr. Taraban be asking everyone to talk!
Modern man's self worth is indeed tied to women. If you look at all these big successful influencersin the manosphere what is it that they flaunt? How many women they are capable of sleeping with. Most men are trying to "self-improve" by going to the gym etc. just to be approved by women.
Great video as always Orion.
A man, who does not worship Christ as his Savior, will fill this void with some other idol.
The default alternate idols: Women & Money
Now, notice how much emphasis women place on money and status. Replace women with Christ as your standard for self-worth, and then recognize how money and status simply become peripheral rather than priority.
God's speed, gentlemen!
I use to have a co-worker who I overheard her talking about how she was dating multiple people at the same time through online dating.
High value information. I love the way how you articulated it and also the analogy of playing tennis 👌
If you ask a women out expect that she post your advance on social media. Many women get their rocks on from shaming men. I always tell men if you’re looking to date don’t ask them out, if they are interested in you either they will hand you their number or you will clearly know.
in my early twenties i was afraid to approach them but now in my early 40 im not , it just switched around to a lost of interest in general , im just finding hard to find the interest, tons of attractive women around but none are interesting . i still dunno why that is .
join the club
Yup. Same. In my 50’s juice ain’t worth the squeeze
Somewhere you know women interest is purely transactional when GBD is not there.
Yep, they are extremely soulless regarding personality.
Your problem is you’re living in the west. Go to Europe where girls are much nicer.
The being rejected and meaning that you don’t deserve to reproduce or deserve to exist part hit way too close to home for me.
In a way it’s like Mother Nature is saying there is something seriously wrong with you.
I just don’t want to have a negative perspective on dating and such anymore lol.
Try not to take it personally that you failed to fit in with a bunch of savage, drooling, doomed greater apes
“I don’t exist” and rejection of self worth. Brilliant analysis and sadly true.
everything he puts together is really good. This was was very informative and needs to reach a wider range of audience especially the new generation of men
I'm in a weird spot where I approach women in bars and night clubs and feel completely comfortable with it, but when it comes to random public places like a park, coffee shop, the mall, a gym etc I just can't do it.
Due to all these viral videos of women talking about men being "creeps" for glancing at them or approaching them, its heavily discouraged me from doing so. I really don't want to end up in some video getting clowned on simply because a woman didn't find me attractive.
A lot of women do not want children today. Women can also select from the highest tier guys using apps.
Not really, what matters to a woman cannot be seen on an app. Also, men lie a lot, so what he projects on the app is many times not who he is. This is what my sister tells me of her dating escapades.
Yes they do....biologically hardwired.
@@janco333 That is a problem then, because approaching a woman today is taboo.
Ever heard "baby rabies"?
@@alb12345672 Women do give "signals" that it is ok to approach, you just need to be on the lookout.
I'm not afraid of rejection, I'm just too proud to be rejected by somebody I don't even consider an equal, both inside and outside, to begin with.
Your thumbnails.... dope. Do you make them yourself. Great aesthetic.🎉