"It's Psycho made by someone who has no idea why Psycho works." And with music that sounds like it was made by someone who just watched 'Manos' and thought "that piano was so good!".
@@cujoedaman I actually have a sense that things may finally get a bit better in the '20s for US cinema.....The last 10 years were pretty dire for Hollywood and reinventing themselves is what they do after all! 🤞😸 (and if they don't; there's still a whole world of ppl making stormin good flicks out there until they finally get the message)
Found this channel and it was an immediate "where has this been all my life" moment. Been bingeing your videos and I have to say this channel is CRIMINALLY under-subbed. The jokes are on point and often edited with the film clips for perfect timing. It also helps that many of the videos are bite-sized which I appreciate in a world where over-stuffed long-winded 2+ hour podcasts/streams have become the norm. I've always loved cheesy movies but it immediately stood out to me how many videos you've made on movies even I haven't heard of or seen any content online about. Hoping the algorithm manages to shine on this dark corner, definitely deserving of more subs!
recently discovered your channel and slowly exploring your back catalog. Even though I like a lot of long videos I'm really enjoying your snappy humor. This one really hit the spot. Great work.
lol. We had a similar fireplace. The real scary thing about the 80's as a kid, but now in hindsight, is the ridiculous number of perverts and child-abusers, we watched on TV! Jimmy Saville, Bill Cosby, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter etc between them would have been an one of the four channels a number of days every week. Seems as s 7y.o. I was safer and better off watching my first horror films Maniac Cop and Black Christmas (thnx to an awesome babysitter) or my copy of Deathstalker than trying to get Jim'll Fix it for me to meet Rolf Harris!! :D
Maybe one of these type movies should have some missing posters with a group of 20somethings who look and are dressed like the ScoobyDo investigators standing in front of a psychedelic van. The police say, "Yeah, we found their dog, but we couldn't get anything useful out of him."
1:16 - Robin, actually... a lot of Police re-open the crime scene as soon as they leave the premises. They only lock down the crime scene if the scene itself is evidence. They take pictures, grab the evidence, remove the bodies and that's it. Especially in the hotel business.
Receptionist, "Ah, yes, when you book your room, it was called the Presidential Suit; however, we've since renamed it to the Ghastly Crime Suit. Enjoy your stay."
I saw a YT upload of this a few years ago, but it was a Spanish dub with subtitles. And now that I hear the original dialogue, the version I saw was better 😂
The thought of drinking room temperature Jim Beam out of a pint glass is physically making me ill. What a horrible, cursed experience. I don't know why, but you know how that will smell just by looking at that scene.
I had an old boss throw a party like that. "We are outside of work. We are in close proximity of each other. We are doing non-work things. This is party."
@@DarkCornersReviews I was wondering myself _until_ you brought up GTA and the "star level" starting going down. Boy, was this a stinker... and that was just watching the 7 minute version!
That party reminds me of one in Mexio with William S. Burroughs. his common-law wife Joan, Alan Ginsberg when Bill deiced to play William Tell with Joan and...suddenly it was the saddest party ever.
This movie puts me in mind of that '70s Winsconsin made Samurai-Ghost posession pic, with the psychic artist woman EDIT: It's called Blood Beat (1983...........It just REALLY looks like the '70s, lol) Who knows why it's called that
Birthdays are bologna! They only happen because the Earth made another whole trip around the Sun.🌍🎉 On some planets, you would die of old age long before reaching your first birthday 😉
Couples who don't belong together: 1: Torgo and the Master in Manos the Hands of Fate. He's got four wives. He takes you for granted. You can do better Torgo. 2: Rod and Nathalie in Birdemic. She's about to embark on a major modelling career. She can do a lot better than a man who can't emote or walk down the street in a coordinated manner. 3; Rock Hudson and Mia Farrow in Avalanche. You can't bellieve characters still have feelings for each other when they have no chemistry and the male lead is just phoning it in
5:20 - Jason X did it better!!! The liquid nitrogen face freeze and smash, is definitely in my top 10 best kills in horror!! 7:55 - Anyone else hear "I told you not to disturb me when I'm cleaning my room" ....vacuum in hand!? :D
This is another one of those "the poster/cover is way better than the movie itself" And as far as "worst screen couple", it might be like picking on the fat kid, but Neil Breen and anyone else he is attached to.
@@slipknotboy555 Unfortunately, my name is referring to my undying love for the Bambu guitar brand. But I'll give him a listen, maybe it will turn out that I have an undying love for his rhymes too!
So, did any of the cast know how to ACT? It's looking like they didn't, which fits with the script writer seemingly not knowing how to write, and the director probably not knowing how to direct.
The cardinal sin of a bad movie; being boring. An hour of wooden characters spouting clunky dialogue in an effort to convince us they're interesting? No thanks. Leave this one stuffed in the vent with the money.
There's a Judge Dredd comic that does something similar with an A.I. operated handgun that keeps telling pedestrians to pick it up and 'waste the enemy'.
I know its a tv miniseries, but, Jan Michael Vincent and Ali McGraw were sorely mismatched in The Winds of War. And it was difficult to believe an aged plump Ava Gardner was young enough to call Lorne Green "Dad" in that Earthquake movie let alone Charlton Heston's love interest.
The arm arises from the lake with the blade like the Lady of the Lake in the movie EXCALIBUR which was released in 1981 and this movie was released in 1984. I wonder what gave the writer an idea to have an arm raise the blade out of the water? The murderer's explanation for the murderer's should have been, "There are never rooms available at this hotel when I have a girl and I need them. It's time to free them up."
Citizen Kane….it’s not! It’s barely a 80s slasher! Hey it’s Hollywood, anything goes & this is all over the place. I must admit a sufficient amount of kills makes it watchable!
"It's Psycho made by someone who has no idea why Psycho works."
And with music that sounds like it was made by someone who just watched 'Manos' and thought "that piano was so good!".
It sounds a little like the music that played when Carrie's mother went psycho and was coming after her with the knife.
@@skylx0812 You just can't get movies like this anymore... even the bad ones are still entertaining to watch compared to what is put out today :D
There are still GREAT movies being made today,
it's just none of 'em are being made as A pictures by Hollywood anymore
@@zetetick395 So sad, but true.
@@cujoedaman I actually have a sense that things may finally get a bit better in the '20s for US cinema.....The last 10 years were pretty dire for Hollywood and reinventing themselves is what they do after all! 🤞😸
(and if they don't; there's still a whole world of ppl making stormin good flicks out there until they finally get the message)
Found this channel and it was an immediate "where has this been all my life" moment. Been bingeing your videos and I have to say this channel is CRIMINALLY under-subbed. The jokes are on point and often edited with the film clips for perfect timing. It also helps that many of the videos are bite-sized which I appreciate in a world where over-stuffed long-winded 2+ hour podcasts/streams have become the norm.
I've always loved cheesy movies but it immediately stood out to me how many videos you've made on movies even I haven't heard of or seen any content online about. Hoping the algorithm manages to shine on this dark corner, definitely deserving of more subs!
“I think this is gonna be one of those nights”
Where I wait with baited breath for the newest dark corners video?
Yes
"Not good enough" Got a hearty laugh at the acting and the jokes. Good stuff, Robin!
recently discovered your channel and slowly exploring your back catalog. Even though I like a lot of long videos I'm really enjoying your snappy humor. This one really hit the spot. Great work.
Great thing about Robin's videos: you see the best parts of these movies in a short amount of time (assuming they have any).
Excellent Blackadder reference!
5:03... The scariest thing about this movie is that we had that rug back when I was a kid.
lol. We had a similar fireplace. The real scary thing about the 80's as a kid, but now in hindsight, is the ridiculous number of perverts and child-abusers, we watched on TV! Jimmy Saville, Bill Cosby, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter etc between them would have been an one of the four channels a number of days every week. Seems as s 7y.o. I was safer and better off watching my first horror films Maniac Cop and Black Christmas (thnx to an awesome babysitter) or my copy of Deathstalker than trying to get Jim'll Fix it for me to meet Rolf Harris!! :D
That is one ugly rug
@@TheEyez187 Gary Glitter certainly had a few in his gang....
Yeah almost Scooby-Doo like using a local legend to create mayhem.
Maybe one of these type movies should have some missing posters with a group of 20somethings who look and are dressed like the ScoobyDo investigators standing in front of a psychedelic van. The police say, "Yeah, we found their dog, but we couldn't get anything useful out of him."
Many awesome comments but "steady on- my wife's right there" made me laff aloud! Wonderful review
👍for the Black Adder reference.
1:16 - Robin, actually... a lot of Police re-open the crime scene as soon as they leave the premises. They only lock down the crime scene if the scene itself is evidence. They take pictures, grab the evidence, remove the bodies and that's it. Especially in the hotel business.
Receptionist, "Ah, yes, when you book your room, it was called the Presidential Suit; however, we've since renamed it to the Ghastly Crime Suit. Enjoy your stay."
@@euansmith3699 You think I'm joking!
I've had to sell last night's crime scenes to next nights occupants in a nice hotel. :)
As usual I found this place by accident. Getting addictive fast.
I saw a YT upload of this a few years ago, but it was a Spanish dub with subtitles. And now that I hear the original dialogue, the version I saw was better 😂
Thanks for reviewing another gem from the bad movie vault.
I just noticed you put GTA stars at the top right corner of the video🤣. Your humor top notch, keep up the great work!
All credit to Graham on that.
The couple from the Jean Harlow movie Platinum Blonde. Nice Blackadder reference.
The thought of drinking room temperature Jim Beam out of a pint glass is physically making me ill. What a horrible, cursed experience. I don't know why, but you know how that will smell just by looking at that scene.
They put the money up in the vent, now they have to worry that Frendo doesn't come looking for them.
😄
That party atmosphere.. 😩🤣🤣🤣
I’ve seen funerals that were more chipper
I had an old boss throw a party like that. "We are outside of work. We are in close proximity of each other. We are doing non-work things. This is party."
Yes. Woo AND Hoo.
"Party on dudes!" Zzzzz
00:26 - 1984 release, 1981 calendar visible. 3 years to shoot+release?
Looks like there was some inspiration from Exaculibur there too.
Great review. The stars in the corner. What where they for ⭐️ ⭐️
It was part of the Grand Theft Auto joke. In the game when you commit crimes you get wanted stars.
@@DarkCornersReviews I was wondering myself _until_ you brought up GTA and the "star level" starting going down.
Boy, was this a stinker... and that was just watching the 7 minute version!
@@DarkCornersReviews ah. Well over my head! I did used to enjoy the Star Wars arcade game 😂😂😂
I always thought King Kong and Fay Wray had a limited shelf life. Seemed like they had no shared interests at all.
@@echopeakbicycling85 Ha- great minds and all that!
4:47
Heh, I was like "umm -" at the exact sime time
That party reminds me of one in Mexio with William S. Burroughs. his common-law wife Joan, Alan Ginsberg when Bill deiced to play William Tell with Joan and...suddenly it was the saddest party ever.
This movie puts me in mind of that '70s Winsconsin made Samurai-Ghost posession pic, with the psychic artist woman
EDIT: It's called Blood Beat (1983...........It just REALLY looks like the '70s, lol)
Who knows why it's called that
I’m so fed up with films about ghost hunting skiers, it’s been done to death now.
Isn't *Cleaver* the gorehound movie made by Tony's favourite nephew Christopher in The Sopranos?
I got the Black Adder reference! What do I win?
I'm glad someone else did. Soon as he said it I thought; "You said get the door..."
Glad people got it. I think I have used it before. One of my favourite lines and one that works whether you get the reference or not.
This looks more fun than all of my birthdays this past decade
Birthdays are bologna! They only happen because the Earth made another whole trip around the Sun.🌍🎉 On some planets, you would die of old age long before reaching your first birthday 😉
@@alienmindwarp3455 That is true
I’m shocked they’re girls! I thought girls were made of sugar and spice and everything nice! How could this movie get it so wrong?!
@Comtesse Commange right?! I’m outraged!
The story actually was a pretty good idea, if not for the supernatural aspect, the writing, acting, and directing
Couples who don't belong together:
1: Torgo and the Master in Manos the Hands of Fate. He's got four wives. He takes you for granted. You can do better Torgo.
2: Rod and Nathalie in Birdemic. She's about to embark on a major modelling career. She can do a lot better than a man who can't emote or walk down the street in a coordinated manner.
3; Rock Hudson and Mia Farrow in Avalanche. You can't bellieve characters still have feelings for each other when they have no chemistry and the male lead is just phoning it in
Bank robbers using local legend this is Scooby doo 😄
no shock that almost all of this actors have 1-2 total credits
I misread the title as “Santa’s Blade” and my mind thought of Wesley Snipes dressed like Santa Claus…
There was the movie Satan's Slay. With Robert Culp playing an Angel and a grand father. Very Entertaining.
@@55Quirll I’ve seen it. It’s a Christmas classic for me
That was blade 4, almost as good as Superman 4.
@@derekbootle8316 I thought there was only 3 Blades?
@@Malum09 I love the ending. I believe that's a wrestler playing Satan/Santa
"It's the realist part of 'Grand Theft Auto;" lol!!
I know Smell-O-Vision isn't currently possible and yet, somehow, this movie stinks. Thanks for enduring it so we don't have to, again.
5:20 - Jason X did it better!!! The liquid nitrogen face freeze and smash, is definitely in my top 10 best kills in horror!!
7:55 - Anyone else hear "I told you not to disturb me when I'm cleaning my room" ....vacuum in hand!? :D
That IS a pretty horrifying death! I've rewound that scene many times, and it's kind of the opposite of what Michael does in Halloween 2.
This is another one of those "the poster/cover is way better than the movie itself"
And as far as "worst screen couple", it might be like picking on the fat kid, but Neil Breen and anyone else he is attached to.
4:35 "Maybe I was too hard on him..." - No dear, I think HE was way too hard. Mostly when around Stephanie.
Is your name referring to the FilAm rapper, Bambu? If so, nice!
@@slipknotboy555 Unfortunately, my name is referring to my undying love for the Bambu guitar brand. But I'll give him a listen, maybe it will turn out that I have an undying love for his rhymes too!
I'm pretty sure the hoped for better plot is actually a gritty scooby doo episode.
It may actually be better than Disneyland when you consider there are less deaths in this.
Less child molesters, too.
2:39 I get the feeling Tony visits more bars than he passes…
.
.
.
…i’ll see myself out 😋
I'm fascinated to discover that Robin knows anything at all about Grand Theft Auto!
I know nothing. That was all Graham. I still don't know what I was talking about.
What's with that score? I'm hearing things that I can almost recognize but don't quite.
Silly, not great, but I enjoy it.
That party was like Morrissey's stag night
Not Tony!? Nooooooo! He was my favourite!
Thank you, Robin, for suffering so that we don't need to.
You Ain't Kiddin'! 😖
Movie couples that shouldn’t be together? King Kong and Godzilla. Or, better still, Abbot and bloody Costello.
Maybe re-make this instead of Texas Chainsaw XIV
I know a product that is good for cleaning up bloody crime scenes.
This looks like a “must buy” movie. 😀
Strange women lying in ponds distributing machetes is no basis for possessing new serial killers!
So, did any of the cast know how to ACT? It's looking like they didn't, which fits with the script writer seemingly not knowing how to write, and the director probably not knowing how to direct.
I really enjoyed this movie 🎬
The cardinal sin of a bad movie; being boring. An hour of wooden characters spouting clunky dialogue in an effort to convince us they're interesting? No thanks. Leave this one stuffed in the vent with the money.
The director must have learned how to direct from watching old Ed Wood movies.
@@Soultaker_For_Hire nah, if he had then the movie would be at least a little interesting for it's badness.
@@VampireJack10 fair point. There is definitely nothing worse for a movie than boring their intended audience.
😬😬😬
Feel-good movie of the year.
I like the idea of an evil knife possessing people and making kill. There's potential there for a good movie.
You could call it 'Blade Runner!' Oh, wait...
So do I, but I think its been done before, but then so has every slasher movie :=)
There's a Judge Dredd comic that does something similar with an A.I. operated handgun that keeps telling pedestrians to pick it up and 'waste the enemy'.
Just not this one.
Bet there was a "Friday the 13th: The Series" episode with this premise.
I could feel the malaise through your review.
Thanks. Satan's Blade opens with a bank robbery, a murder, and really bad music! :) tavi.
LOL!!!!!
I know its a tv miniseries, but, Jan Michael Vincent and Ali McGraw were sorely mismatched in The Winds of War.
And it was difficult to believe an aged plump Ava Gardner was young enough to call Lorne Green "Dad" in that Earthquake movie let alone Charlton Heston's love interest.
Jack Torrance and Wendy. Just quit!
Watching Bad Movies. SOYOUDON'THAVETO~!!!
Not exactly what you meant, but I don't know which Hitchcock couple had less chemistry: Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day or Paul Newman and Julie Andrews.
I think Jimmy and Doris work as a mismatched married couple.
The arm arises from the lake with the blade like the Lady of the Lake in the movie EXCALIBUR which was released in 1981 and this movie was released in 1984. I wonder what gave the writer an idea to have an arm raise the blade out of the water?
The murderer's explanation for the murderer's should have been, "There are never rooms available at this hotel when I have a girl and I need them. It's time to free them up."
Excellent film!! ...but that is not the excuse of a knight, sir. 😠🤣
Melissa Rauch and her ughh husband.....She`s mine and you can`t have her! (lol)
Citizen Kane….it’s not! It’s barely a 80s slasher! Hey it’s Hollywood, anything goes & this is all over the place. I must admit a sufficient amount of kills makes it watchable!
This host has the skinniest little arms. They are borderline comical. I imagine he struggles to lift a spoonful of soup lol
What a waste of a great title. Should have been about witch hunts or the spanish inquisition.
Was this a student film or something?! I had a friend in High School who made a better movie than this... sheesh.
Will and Jada?
Wow. This looks like an amateur film. And an awful one.