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Answering Your Relationship Questions! A Marriage and Family Therapist and Her Husband

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  • Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
  • What's Anya Mind, Lovers?
    This week, I have my husband joining me to answer some your questions about love, marriage, and relationships. If you have other questions, feel free to write them below!
    TIME STAMPS//
    What difficulties did you face in the beginning? 1:39
    What difficulties did you have after getting married? 6:57
    Ways to communicate when things aren't going well between you 9:57
    Communicating when you're upset in the moment 12:00
    Getting Away from Hostile Venting: 13:10
    Do you clash with each others' friends? 17:10
    How do you intentionally spice up your marriage? 19:44
    My crochet twists: amzn.to/2yu1DRs
    SOCIAL MEDIA//
    Instagram: @ _steph.anya
    Facebook: /steph.anya.fb
    GEAR//
    Camera: amzn.to/2xJoybv
    Mic: amzn.to/2XPZjin
    Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
    Mic: amzn.to/2ZxBDA4
    Audio Recorder: amzn.to/3bUKG0J
    Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
    Lighting: amzn.to/2XnyQaa
    Theme Song:
    Prod. NDO: / ndobeats
    Prod. Mari Beats: / @maribeats
    In-Video Music:
    Prod. NDO: / ndobeats

Комментарии • 132

  • @NDObeats
    @NDObeats 4 года назад +266

    Thanks for having me on the show 😂

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад +66

      Thanks for joining, Boo!

    • @itzr.b3204
      @itzr.b3204 Год назад

      What's your RUclips channel need some help creating beats

  • @nikkirotundaful
    @nikkirotundaful 2 года назад +162

    “The problem with another person being your peace is that while they’re your peace, you become their pressure.” Dang! I needed to write that down. That one hit me. It helps me finally understand Satir’s self-esteem concept in regards to how it can effect a relationship. I was having trouble wrapping my head around it just this week. This was so well timed and helps me understand my own journey ♥️

    • @ZP916
      @ZP916 2 года назад +2

      Right?? The truth of that line hit hard🥺… I’m going to start taking notes here 📝

    • @ilhuicatlamatini
      @ilhuicatlamatini 11 месяцев назад +1

      That one sentence right there was major epiphany for me. Really wish I’d known this as early 20s gf 😅. Regardless, it’s still so helpful even now. I wrote it down too lol.

  • @SM-zy5kv
    @SM-zy5kv 6 месяцев назад +7

    It’s so inspiring to see two people grow together and accept the changes as they come while being understanding with one another!

  • @Artandnatureloveeee
    @Artandnatureloveeee Год назад +12

    The way he looks at her when she is explaining stuff ... gosh I wish everybody to find somebody like that for them

  • @LiashaBoo
    @LiashaBoo 4 года назад +95

    Your hubby is such a great communicator. You'll are great together❤❤💯🥰

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад +19

      He is! It’s taken work though. Thank you! ♥️

  • @rmy_Youtube
    @rmy_Youtube 4 года назад +60

    You and your hubby are the cutest!! I really enjoyed it. I vote for you two to make another couples video!

  • @chelseawilliams8588
    @chelseawilliams8588 Год назад +30

    This is so wholesome 😢. I love the way you guys shared openly and honestly about the real challenges you’ve faced and the love is still so evident. Thanks for sharing this video.

  • @KeketsoN01
    @KeketsoN01 2 года назад +9

    I love this so much , it is so refreshing to see black love and young black love

  • @uncannyxjess
    @uncannyxjess 4 года назад +33

    Really enjoyed the format of this relationship questions video! It's so important to hear other couples speak honestly about their experiences. It's also interesting to find out what your viewers are asking.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад +7

      Glad you enjoyed it! Picking the format can be so challenging, so thank you for that. If I'm not mistaken, I think that one of your questions was in here. If so, thanks so much for asking something!

    • @uncannyxjess
      @uncannyxjess 4 года назад +2

      @@StephAnya Haha yes, thank you for answering! 😊 I'll be watching this again with Charles.

    • @Polyglotgoddess
      @Polyglotgoddess Год назад

      Excellent!! Can you or do you have a video or recommendation about picking good friends and having good intuition about people?

  • @kalki3060
    @kalki3060 2 года назад +22

    love seeing you together, your chemistry is just chef's kiss ♥️
    and great advice too!!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад +2

      Aw thank you so much ♥️

  • @kayrup3712
    @kayrup3712 Год назад +3

    Beautiful couple, y'all are so emotionally healthy and like minded. I think that's very important in a relationship .

  • @RobandSijay
    @RobandSijay 2 года назад +6

    Beautiful couple I can't believe I'm just seeing this. One thing I love that you two did was capture the moments in photographs, your college years, your husband putting gas in his first car for the first time. 12 years in and I'm starting to get better but I wish i had pictures from years 2-9

  • @cookiesncream994
    @cookiesncream994 2 года назад +50

    Hi Anya! In case you happen to see this: would you consider doing a video on that emotional dependency you talked about? I realized I'm this way in my relationship and like you said, it's been creating pressure on my partner I didn't even realize. I would love to learn ways to lessen or overcome this to be a better partner. Thank you! Love your videos

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад +17

      That is a great idea! Thank you!

    • @cookiesncream994
      @cookiesncream994 2 года назад +3

      @@StephAnya Thank you for the reply! 😍🥰

    • @daisyconsuelo
      @daisyconsuelo 2 года назад +2

      I would also appreciate a video on this topic.

    • @Londya
      @Londya Год назад +3

      @@StephAnya Oh my gosh, yes, this was the downfall of my last relationship. It's so cool to see that you were able to work through this and continue on in your relationship. I would love to see a video on this as well. I'm currently seeing a therapist about this and focusing on my relationship with God has been helping. I am also preparing to document this process and start a youtube channel about this within the next few weeks.

  • @ImKnotMyHair
    @ImKnotMyHair 4 года назад +25

    Awwww this was sooooo adorable !! I love seeing y’all connection....thanks for the video

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад +1

      💓 That’s so sweet! Thank you for watching! 😘

  • @selfhealingbabe
    @selfhealingbabe 3 года назад +17

    This was so great! I was smiling the whole time watching! Great tips!

  • @jamiliahrivera5986
    @jamiliahrivera5986 2 года назад +8

    Very mature conversation and even when you want to be mature sometimes pettiness arises I like your videos

  • @ritav793
    @ritav793 3 года назад +12

    This is insightful as a single person. I think I have worked a lot On better communication skills. So I think I’m a lot better but I’m not sure really until I’m in a relationship with someone LOL. I know that I have gotten better in communicating with my children

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 года назад +7

      I feel like improving as a communicator in any area will bleed into other relationships. You’re right though about not fully knowing until that relationship happens. Looking forward to hearing more once you’re in a relationship!

    • @yhineidy131
      @yhineidy131 2 года назад +1

      Don't consider myself to be the best communicator. During my last relationship, I realized that I needed to work on my communication skills.

  • @banszkiviktoria
    @banszkiviktoria 3 года назад +8

    He's so lucky 😊💗

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 года назад +8

      Aww thank you! I know this will sound corny, but please believe me when I say that I'm the lucky one.

  • @DADO33566
    @DADO33566 Год назад +1

    omg it is lovely how they look at each other there is so much love awwww

  • @amerisweetheart
    @amerisweetheart 4 года назад +8

    My favorite couple!!!! Great video!!!! Please do another video!!!!!! This was awesome!!!! 💕💕

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад

      More to come! Thank you sooo much!

  • @chelseawilliams8588
    @chelseawilliams8588 Год назад

    Not me being immediately distracted by how lovely y’all look together. I love this!!

  • @MamandDamian10
    @MamandDamian10 Год назад +1

    I’ve been looking for positive and educational and at the sAme time entertaining content. And I found it! You’re a breath of fresh air! Love your videos so far. Been watching a few tonight. ❤

    • @singingjustice
      @singingjustice Год назад +1

      She is. I literally binged watched 4 of her vids. So informative. Tone of her voice is soothing and helps me to accept the things I may need to change!

  • @pia_om
    @pia_om Год назад +3

    Thank you for role modelling an honest genuine caring relationship

  • @victorianobles9938
    @victorianobles9938 2 года назад +6

    You both are precious

  • @yhineidy131
    @yhineidy131 2 года назад +2

    Learning about your relationship and the challenges you faced together gave me a glimpse of the type of relationship my ex and I could have built. We had a similar beginning to yours. I was in college. We were broke and carless. Once I got my car, I was the one driving to see him. Unfortunately, we didn't get the same ending as you two. BTW, you two make the cutest couple 💑 I would love to see more videos of two together.

  • @erikajamila
    @erikajamila 2 года назад +6

    You two are adorable 🥰 thanks for sharing. I could use the advice. BTW, I love watching your videos

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад

      Thank you so much 🤗

  • @taliagula
    @taliagula 2 года назад +2

    Wow you guys are so complementary. Love both of your vibes 😍

  • @zeezy17
    @zeezy17 Год назад

    Wow…this literally word for word sounds like me and my husband! We’ve been married for 5 years. We haven’t grown as much as you two but WOW we watched this together and learned so much. Thank you for this insight. It has helped more than you know ❤️ wish we found this when it came out 2 years ago!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Год назад

      Aw, so happy to hear that!!

  • @wiserliving4840
    @wiserliving4840 2 года назад

    Subscribe to your husband's channel and was surprised I wasn't already because what he does is 90% of the channels I'm subscribed to do. He is amazingly talented and I love your advice.

  • @sandteedal9022
    @sandteedal9022 Год назад

    It gives me joy to watch any happy couple.

  • @loa9863
    @loa9863 Год назад

    I love the way you guys look at each other when the other is speaking 😢

  • @SM-zy5kv
    @SM-zy5kv 6 месяцев назад

    When you started taking deep breaths and cracked your neck, Steph! 😂😂 NDO’s reaction was exactly how I’d react! 😂😂

  • @bananali2676
    @bananali2676 2 года назад

    you dont know how im thankful for this video

  • @dummydes
    @dummydes Год назад +1

    Keeping bullet points and notes with each question you both covered. So much good content from you! The peace and pressure concept 🤯 also would LOVE more of these types of videos and also the more niche topic of sex in relationships.
    Love your work here ❤ I truly seek out your videos/knowledge and find that when Im feeling most needful of guidance (away from my own therapist) I come here. Thank you again for creating this wonderful safe place accessible to all who seek it

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Год назад +1

      ♥️ I’m so glad that this space provides guidance for you. I have 2 other Q&As like this one and would love to do more!

  • @deborahrichelieu549
    @deborahrichelieu549 Год назад

    I really enjoyed the video! Especially breaking down the early years of dating challenges in college to the early years of marriage! As a marriage and family therapist, I do challenge my couples also! But its a great way to spice things up! Thanks for sharing I love your videos!

  • @loa9863
    @loa9863 Год назад +1

    I’m a new sub and I love this video. I will be saving this for when I’m in a relationship because these are great tips.

  • @truckingwithking3825
    @truckingwithking3825 Год назад

    Hostile venting! Excellent term

  • @MegsWorld222
    @MegsWorld222 4 года назад +4

    I really enjoyed this video! ❤️

  • @egyptianlicorice844
    @egyptianlicorice844 Год назад +1

    I had no idea you were from Georgia! I also went to Emory University :)

  • @tabitas.2719
    @tabitas.2719 Год назад

    I love what you did with the app for chores after moving in together - my husband and I had a similar experience - we just posted a paper (in foil) on the living room wall and would check things off with our initials. :)
    I still have my personal app to keep on top of what needs to be done next (as I struggle with executive dysfunction); but it definitely was an exercise for me to a) be less hard on myself, and be more realistic/less perfectionistic about my doings; and b) be more grateful for my partner.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Год назад +1

      I love that! And honestly we need to start using that app again. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏽

  • @cyanedavis
    @cyanedavis 2 года назад +1

    Their difficulties in the beginning of their relationship was the same for me and mine

  • @daughteroftheking01
    @daughteroftheking01 2 месяца назад

    Question: tips on accepting your partner as they are or finding a partner that you can accept completely without trying to change them

  • @user-dq1ri4bd5z
    @user-dq1ri4bd5z 3 года назад +12

    Awesome video!! So insightful 👏 And would def love a video about sex, especially when a couple has different sex drives! Thank you!!

  • @gregreeder4626
    @gregreeder4626 2 года назад

    You guys are beautiful! I love to see black ❤️. Great insight and advice for relationships.

  • @bluebutterfly5062
    @bluebutterfly5062 Год назад

    Beautiful couple 💗pray you guys are still going strong!

  • @tyronemelvin6905
    @tyronemelvin6905 Год назад

    Love to see my cousins do their things.

  • @thewise2443
    @thewise2443 Год назад

    the beginning was exactly why me & my x broke up, he felt smothered ! I can honestly say , I was so happy to finally have a great man and I just wanted to be around him all the time!, we've been broken up for like 3 weeks, so I just use this time to get back to me, I hope this growth period can better us as people and we get back together. I love that man, I know he loves me too.. right now, we just need time apart

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Год назад +1

      I can totally relate! Best of luck on getting back to you!

  • @mariawilliams4737
    @mariawilliams4737 Год назад

    Hey beautiful, am new to your channel…. Your so well spoken, beautiful and intelligent… I enjoy all your wisdom and am here to stay…. God bless your union

  • @tedroyclarke6473
    @tedroyclarke6473 2 года назад

    Thanks for sharing. Wonderful couple.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад +1

      Aww thank you ♥️

  • @MrsMutterCourage
    @MrsMutterCourage Год назад

    Omg you two are such a beautiful couple! #couplegoals!

  • @beehazel4712
    @beehazel4712 2 года назад

    im learning a lot just from watching ur videos 🥰 thank you

  • @BM0RESquare_XTherapist
    @BM0RESquare_XTherapist Год назад

    Awww this is so cool, lovely!

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    What do you rate what kind of books on magazine

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Where are you getting married to each other which country you fall in love

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  9 месяцев назад

      United States!

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    You are Hollywood couple my friends and you're perfect couple with each other

  • @JennyoftheAK
    @JennyoftheAK Год назад

    Such great content!

  • @omarianyabwile7302
    @omarianyabwile7302 4 года назад +3

    Lit video!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад

      Thanks for watching!

  • @gingerbarker8230
    @gingerbarker8230 4 года назад +4

    my boy best friend asked me out and i didn’t want to ruin the friendship by saying yes and then breaking up and if i said no then we’ll that would obviously ruin it. i did like him. but i said not right now. he has stopped talking to me. like we still “talk” but not on the same level. i’ve now started to almost simp over him because i want him to want to talk to me again

    • @aubreyjames8795
      @aubreyjames8795 2 года назад +1

      Just work on your life and let it go. If he’s angry or hurt enough to end the friendship, then give him time to not feel rejected. Plus you don’t know him fully- he could be vengeful and take you back just to hurt you in return. Focus on yourself. Dati g is more than liking someone, and the butterflies. One needs a plan for the relationship.

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Where do you meet

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    How are you today my friends

  • @TakidaJ
    @TakidaJ 2 года назад

    so good more couple videos

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад +1

      My favorite kind! ♥️

  • @jennasweightlossjourney7921
    @jennasweightlossjourney7921 Год назад

    What if he says I’m his peace… and he’s very much my peace too?

  • @GirlTawk101
    @GirlTawk101 2 года назад

    Curious if you have any advice/suggestions for how to handle this situation. I have been in a 6-year relationship and since year one my partner and I have not been able to have future-based conversations. Due to fears/trauma, they have around marriage. However, in the last two years, we have grown a lot in how we communicate and are able to speak more about the future, as it relates to engagement. My partner says that keeping me in their life is a priority for them and engagement is possible. But now I don't know if I should stay or leave because it feels like it's too little, too late. I believe they will pop the question but it doesn't feel good, to me, that we are currently where I wish we were years ago.

    • @charklat
      @charklat 2 года назад +3

      Hmmm here's my two cents haha 😅 I definitely think this is something you should bring up to them eventually, and perhaps come to a compromise, to me it seems a bit of a waste of six years if you leave only for this reason haha. You can express why marriage is so important to you and talk it out with them

    • @GirlTawk101
      @GirlTawk101 2 года назад +1

      @Charklat your two cents is appreciated.
      Other than him being more negative than myself and how differently we handle fear, not having the physical ring on my finger is my main hang up. But I know there must be some trauma in that for me I should explore

    • @sallyjane8274
      @sallyjane8274 2 года назад +1

      Perhaps due to fears of abandonment kept you hanging in there for so long and now that they are showing more willingness things are relaxed. You don't worry about him not wanting you so you are free to consider that maybe, you didn't want to be with someone who would take so long to express that. Sometimes we are so scared to be unwanted that we hang on to someone who is not actually who we would choose if those wounds didn't exist.

  • @TheMadsonblfanatic
    @TheMadsonblfanatic 2 года назад

    You guys are so cute 😍

  • @thewise2443
    @thewise2443 Год назад

    how do y'all feel about having x's as friends or opposite sex friends ?

  • @stephenyates4749
    @stephenyates4749 4 года назад +4

    Great video awesome answers to the questions but what’s this challenging sex stuff lol

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  4 года назад +13

      😂 Bye, Dad!

    • @rmy_Youtube
      @rmy_Youtube 4 года назад +3

      😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Where are you from

  • @SONGbyrdRYzing
    @SONGbyrdRYzing Год назад +1

    Girl, he CAHYUTE. I see you...

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Год назад +1

      Haha well of course I agree!

  • @sportsfamilytherapist
    @sportsfamilytherapist 3 года назад +2

    🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️

  • @casandraramirez1736
    @casandraramirez1736 3 года назад +1

    Yes to the video about sex please! Have been enjoying your content, watching these videos with my boyfriend ✍

  • @martinkawaisantos7761
    @martinkawaisantos7761 2 года назад

    How can u be contacted personally

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Are you good cook and if you open your own restaurant do you going to have a RUclips or TV show cooking

  • @jefferyjackson8644
    @jefferyjackson8644 2 года назад

    What is the purpose of going to therapy, when the actual therapy has been weaponized?

  • @lenanayashkova
    @lenanayashkova 2 года назад +1

    If you guys would want to have kids at one point, it would be interesting to see how you answer the spicing up question then. I know all the classic advice on how tk do it, but maaaan is it annoying when you are actually parents of young children😄

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 года назад +1

      We’ll definitely do a follow-up. I can only imagine!

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    How much kids do you want to

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Where are you born

  • @vivienleigh1361
    @vivienleigh1361 Год назад

    6 years?!?! Why did y’all date so long?

    • @NDObeats
      @NDObeats Год назад +9

      We were in our early twenties and still in college for most of the time we were dating. We still lived with our parents saving for a home and at the time I only had a part time job and freelance. I didn’t want us to get married until I knew were in a good financial place to move immediately into our own home once we were married. And that’s what we ultimately did. If I landed my full time career job as soon as i graduated like I envisioned, best believe we would have been married 😂 but life didn’t work out that way. Had to keep grinding until I landed something but took a few years after graduating.

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Godly Christian do you go to

  • @irinaifraimova4541
    @irinaifraimova4541 9 месяцев назад +1

    Praying for my Friends goods healthys Stay healthys Always healthy Blessing healthys blessings healthys goods healthys Stay healthys Always healthy Blessing jobs blessings money's blessings jobs blessings money's blessings jobs blessings money's

  • @politereminder6284
    @politereminder6284 2 года назад

    This video finally solved the mystery of why it sounds like you are mispronouncing your name. 😂. I assume this is one you got from your husband. (no shade, I mispronounce my African name all the time as an African who grew up in the US. I dunno where your name is from though. No assumptions)

  • @breamoako9945
    @breamoako9945 Год назад +1

    Dammmm u married an African that’s wassup