I have waited for 6 years,, then he said he is " not a marriage commitment kind" of person! 💔 It broke my heart, but at least am not guilty for leaving him,,, Now he is tryna communicate back ,, yet again saying he is not ready!!! I just think my tank is empty of any emotions towards him,, am totally consumed💔 Moving on is painful but also healing
and if you want marriage, never wait 6 years . 1 year is enough for him to decide he wants to be with you. He might propose later, but he will tell you this !
I think a lot of women also need to be honest and ask why they are ready. A lot of women can not articulate why they believe he is the one and why they want to get married. A lot of pressure is put on a man, but a woman also has to be sure herself and not based on societal norms and expectations.
Anyone get the answer "I just don't feel ready, even though I want to get married to you"??? I can't get a reason out. I moved across the states for this man thinking we would be by now.
Gore4ever FulciLives I feel your pain brother! I feel as if marriage is the final step before a man completely gives up on life! Don’t know why, but that’s just how it comes across in today’s society. I love my girl but I can’t see myself getting married.
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@@mobilem11pak51 I can recommend you to a great powerful man of God/prohet Larry that can help you get your ex back with a powerful prayer that lasts forever I have been married for more than 5 years now. Contact him on WhatsApp +1(929)473-1956...
@@mobilem11pak51 I tried no contact before but it did not work until I meet a powerful man of God who help me restore back my relationship with a powerful prayers
I feel like I am being strung a long at this point. 11 years. Engaged for I don't even know how many and he just wasn't ready. Finally he is ready covid happens. We moved it. Now that we are planning for this year he has excuses AGAIN that covid is still here, we may be headed for a recession and its stressful... it just sounds like he doesn't want to get married but he doesn't want to lose me. It is so frustrating and heart breaking. And I feel like a fool.
Even after 200 years he will never be ready to marry he is wasting your time I know it's hard but if its possible just collect yourself and just leave it's hard but it will be worth,you will meet a real man who knows how to treat you right
The problem is marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men. The institution is collapsing in the west due to feminism. It's time the elephant in the room be discussed
@@fredstriker2042 we are actually doing couples therapy and im realizing the only one who probably benefits from marriage is me with the exception I make more money.
@@fredstriker2042 What you describe is a case of public interference in a private matter. Not only that, but in the US most people cannot behave maturely _in divorce proceedings._ Can we then expect them to behave maturely in marriage? From start to finish, marriage is ultimately decided by husband and wife, and no third parties need interfere.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2.5 years. We can’t live together until we’re engaged for religious/ cultural reasons. He said he wants to get married and talks about our future together all the time but he said he’s not ready. He’s been saying this for over a year and every time I bring it up, it results in an argument and him moving the goalposts further. This weekend he said he’s afraid of it not working out but honestly at this stage I feel so frustrated and upset that we’re not on the same page (it’s like I love him more than he loves me). What should I do? I don’t know what his reasons are and I’ve asked him if it’s financial or because of his family, to which he’s said “no” he’s just not ready and he’s afraid.
EmmBB I was in the same situation. I just left my boyfriend. It really hurts because he was not ready. However, I told him that I deserve more. I had to walk away. And I feel that I waited too long. If I were you, I would talk to him one more time and explain how you feel and what you want/need. If you are not on the same page at that point, then it is time to go. Do not waste your time. Please.
@@hudamasood2985 we are taking Nikah at the end of August. He just said he genuinely wasn’t ready at the time and needed to work through his anxieties. He said some of his friends had broken up/ got divorced/ were having affairs and he made him nervous about getting engaged and married to me but I guess he worked through it because here we are.
We broke up bc this year he was supposed to meet my family this year and ultimately told me he loves me and I’m the one for him... except he’s not stable yet and isn’t ready. I told him I’m moving forward with my life as I have chosen to try and invest in myself and happiness. But I am so in love and we’ve been talking about the future for a year and half now... A huge part of me is just waiting a little bit. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.
Well I think it's okay to wait a little bit if you are willing to do so. And then at some point, especially when you are feeling frustrated and can no longer wait, then it's important to officially let go and move on. because you can't put your life on hold and wait around at the detriment of yourself. You are #1 and have to make sure you are happy first and foremost. Sounds like you are a logical thinking which is definitely a strength.
So much has changed since I commented on this post two months ago. I found out he was sleeping with someone else as well as bringing her to family events and parties, while somehow still leaving me with hope that he’d be back. He just contacted me Friday where I finally told him never to again. I have since been on dates and have been loving myself. Working out, losing weight, living my best life. However, the sadness and emptiness comes and goes as I remember certain details. Overall, I have become stronger. I realized he had made his decision and I was going to make mine. I choose me.
@@jmia4389 You are so incredibly strong! You are doing everything you need to be doing to take care of yourself. Those sad feelings will come and go as those are part of this process. They are normal and healthy to have. Continue to keep focusing on you and making yourself as happy and as strong as possible. Just make sure the next person you let into your heart is deserving of your love and trust. I wish you the absolute best!
Remove yourselves from this question for a moment. 65% of all marriages end in divorce, no fault. 80% of all divorces filed by women. 95% of all divorces result in unaudited children support order, alimony order. and loss of majority child custody, plus no enforced visitation rights and no due process or law. Now understand that 80% of all men are invisible to you and/or beneath your contempt. That leaves about 20% that are both sexually and economically attractive enough for you to ever marry. All other women want these same guys too. You cannot compete for all of them. There are just too many women vying for their time, attention & resources. And you’re too good for all other men, you’re strong independent and don’t need anyone, you’re a 10 and you’re never going to “settle” Why even complain about your boyfriend having doubts or second thoughts about marriage. If it was your own brother or your own son, you would likely understand such doubts and fears.
So I am sick from a very long period my life is fully disturbed from education to career ...I am in relationship with my bf for 7 years ..I am 24 now ..my parents are pressuring me for Arrange marriage as my bf is showing no interest about meeting my parents and about the marriage ....I love him but I am stuck ☹️ ....nothing in life is going right!
Recently meet someone who I went out with a few weeks. Then started mentioning that she’s wanting to get married within a year. I mentioned to my life situation currently that I’m not going to be pushing to be married within a year. But she’s not willing to be open to waiting till around 3 years because I’m a single parent of a teenager who just lost my kids mom last year. Plus she’s never met my family etc . She’s not as financially stable either yet while just being divorced and having her kids dad living with her as well. So too me that’s another red flags. Not that I’m not looking to get married would love to. But I’m not really financially stable enough as it is in my life currently. Like most people who are struggling financially etc. I’m not going to get married & consistently being in an arguments about finances etc.
As an older gentleman who has watched relationships struggle and marriage begin to collapse as an institution, I can say that women giving women advice about why men don't want to get married is kind of pointless. What men want and what women want are completely different, not to mention I don't think I've ever heard a woman express ANYTHING that I've heard many men say that they feel about marriage and why they are opting out
We've been dating for 2 years and have lived together for 1 year. His reason for not wanting to right now is his desire to travel and live abroad in 1 country (China) for a few years at most to pursue a life long dream of training at a renowned martial arts academy. Eventually opening up a teaching program back in the states. I am also pursuing a similar goal as I too am a teacher and love to travel. I feel he is the one and feel he is very much my soul mate. It only makes sense to me to get engaged because we're compatible in this way. He has communicated his hesitance is not just this major life transformation but also that he is still getting to know me. What are your thoughts on my dilemma?
He is still getting to know you after 2 whole years? It's bullshit. He is just passing time with you and will continue to make excuses even after opening the martial arts school. I'm so sorry you spent two years with this time waster
@@budgetreader Since the time I wrote to you a lot has changed. Thank you for your response. I have clarity about my relationship with him. He has been super insecure about himself and that is a major factor as to why he hasn't yet proposed. His previous relationships one of which ended in betrayal/cheating. I have compassion for this and I understand completely because i've too been there. We have since then grown, we've been through many lows and highs. It took me leaving to for it to dawn on him that he has been scared shitless. He has admitted he wants to does think about marrying me and how he will propose. He wants to be in a place where he is confident, successful before doing so.
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@@anewbornstar I tried no contact before but it did not work until I meet a powerful man of God who help me restore back my relationship with a powerful prayers
He wants to marry every time he says that but whenever i say something about it he says to wait All i know is that he is not financially stable right now may be thats the reason but for me , in my religion its not okay to be in relationship so i want to marry him nd live separately until he get financially stable so than we can move out together But he don't want it like that I m just messed up hopefully everything would get better soon Insha'Allah
You all need to read the Bible and what God says about marriage. Don't be soulless fools and follow society's standards and norms. If a man doesn't want to commit to a woman he is stealing tge childbearing years from her. It's now on the woman to make a smart choice. Get up and walk out and don't look back. There is always another man who will totally commit so much do you would not have to have these difficult nonsensical discussions. Do not waste your time. Men who don't commit think grass is greener and someone better will come along while keeping you on the side. Also keep your legs closed until you are a wife. Don't live and act as married couples when you are not. Get right with God and he will bless you with all his offerings.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years now and he opened up to me about wanting to get married. I was ready for that and loved the idea. He then went on to tell his family he was going to propose which they didn't approve of. Which made him lead me on and say he will and then wont and back and forth even went so far as to do the proposal then days later call off the marriage but wanting to be engaged all because he feels like hes going against his family by doing something he wants but they don't. I'm getting really really hurt by this and I'm just wondering what to do at this point. He truly does want to marry me but he's letting his family hold him back.
He doesn't want to marry you. Wouldn't have done so much back and forth. By staying through it you've shown him that you're willing to take the disrespect. When men love you and have courage they don't put their family's opinions over your happiness
What will you bring to the table in the marriage? Perhaps rather than blame the man or blame his family you should take this as a little time for introspection. Are you worth it? Do you make his life better? What will he have to sacrifice versus what you will be sacrificing? In the west currently marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men. Nothing to gain and everything to lose. A wise man would never get married in Western society and its current state
@1:42 You want to know what his reason is for not wanting to get married? Okay I am going to tell you . Men do not fear commitment and marriage. Men fear divorce because it can literally destroy his life. The first step to getting divorced is to get married. Sure there could be other reason but this DIVORCE is why he is balking. ☝
yup. in this boat now. Together 2.5 years, both of us divorcees (both at same time 2019) shes wanting to marry. we bought a house together.. been living together. Im good. Why the need to marry? Nope... its not a religious thing for her either.... but its near every day nagging and im not wanting to it as I lost SO MUCH in the divorce after 19 years of marriage. Why cant women just be happy living together? I dont get it.
Me and my bf have been together for 5 years now, living together for 2. We met in high school and he followed me out of town for college, so we are only 21. I don’t mind waiting a few more years to get our finances and careers together before but I don’t like the idea of him not knowing when he’ll be ready. If he proposed today I would say yes! So why is it that he wants to get married but he doesn’t know when?😕 The idea of waiting at least another 5 years for a PROPOSAL feel awful!!
After 5 years not knowing when he'll want to marry you is just frankly bullshit on his part. He is pushing your boundaries and seeing whether he can just fool around with you till he finds someone else. Ask him to give you a quick timeline or throw him out.
Same situation dear don't know what to say he is not thinking of the marriage although we are 21 I m ready to give him time but he is not even think of it....
My daughter got engaged they've been dating for 3 years but they're both only 20 so they're going to wait 2 years ever since they've got engaged he's overwhelmed he does not want to be married basically it's his mom forcing the relationship because she loves my daughter and she's a great person I mean I get it and doesn't want her son to lose her etc. My daughter also wants to get married. I think he feels trapped doesn't want the responsibility losing his freedoms. He's also immature I feel bad for him because he can't go to my daughter and he can't go to his mom what do you do
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after bring separated for 3months All thanks to mr Willson whom held me to get back my ex again I will suggest y'all get help from him and it's works within 4days.
I been in relationship for 4 years he said he was going purpose in are baby birthday never happened than he ask my kids if he should marry me said he plain on doing that when weather got warm. when i bought it up ask about it now he says he going to wait until she old enough feels like game. we live together he barley helps me at all. so when I ask how long it would be he said he don't know. is it best to let go?
If you really need marriage you need to move on and the quicker the better. but no man that is thinking with his big head should ever be ready for marriage...
@@fredstriker2042 females don't see what awake men do. this is what I would look at in 2021 as a young single guy; warning incoming wall of text; the main stream trad-chuck's say, "Marriage It's a better deal for men, than women"... this is BS. Marriage for a man; lose your friends, check lose your hobbies, check lose your respect, check lose your space, check (man cave is in the most undesirable place in house) lose your sex life, check and GONE sooner or later. lose your money, check (your money is her money) lose your family, likely a check if a divorce happens. lose your good looking woman, check the wedding cake is a FAT grenade that she pulls the pin on. lose your quiet life, check lose your peace for drama, check lose your freedom, check lose your dreams, check and hell yes. lets add up the checks.. oh ya it is way past time to check out. The only winning move is not to play.
I want my bf to wait for me for 2 yrs but he is saying that he wants to marry early due to family. Pressure.. But I need some time to convince my parents for him.. But he is not waiting.. What to do??
Hi Thomas! Thanks for commenting! I hear what you're saying, and I would counter by saying that there are ways to keep 100% of your hard earned resources in a divorce, so I don't necessarily think that should be the deciding factor on whether or not a person gets married. There are ways to minimize the risk of losing what you've earned. But it is something to consider, absolutely.
@@KristinCoaching actually that's not true, any decent lawyer can get around a prenuptial agreement quite easily in America. Not to mention women file roughly 80% of all divorces, receive 97% of all Court awarded alimony some of which is Lifetime, and women receive custody of your children 85% of the time regardless of the actions of either party in the marriage.
My fiancè asked me to marry in the Beginning of 2019, we planned to for 2020 and pandemic blocked it. Now he wants to cancel it. Like he says he want to marry me but now he doesn’t feel ready. It’s so difficult for me. He is passing a bad period now but it still breaks my heart. Ah and we are togheter for 11 years...
I don't understand how I got a negative reply. I put any comment I put on here. That's my business to share and if you got something negative to say to me I will block you from my page. if you got anything negative to say don't tag my f****** name in it
A wedding is something many women dream of since they were little kids. Playing "house" with their friends, the princess marrying the prince, playing barbies and picturing barbie marrying ken. Many women want to make the fantasy happen, they want that commitment, the beautiful time and the celebration of their love with their prince charming. For every women the "why's" may vary. For me personally it's taking the next step, celebrating my love, making those beautiful memories, wanting to start a family in security, planning a wonderful ceremony, having the parties with people I care about dearly, calling my boyfriend my fiance or husband, making a real anniversary, having this romantic day, a feeling of growing up. I want him to show me how much I mean to him, how he also wants to be in my life as much as I want him in mine. Maybe it's corny, but it's just something... What are reasons men want or don't want to get married?
@@rosannadots7772 I’ve decided marriage probably isn’t my thing because I have serious trust issues with women (I’m not sexist just my experiences), also I think the money you spend can be spent on something like a vacation.
@@SA-rk2lv Sure, marriage is not for everyone. We live in a time that marriage is not necessary anymore in the west. Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page on that, a lot of women also chose not to get married anymore. Maybe consider other options like registered partnership, or something else if you want to think of stability when one of you passes (not fun to think about but with kids in a relationship it's good to think about that!). A wedding doesn't have to be expensive either, but I really get your point, not trying to talk you out of your opinion. Trust issues for past experiences is something you, unfortunately, have to deal with. Seeking help is not something to be ashamed of, working on oneself is a beautiful thing! It's very easy for me to say this, but not everyone is like the people who hurt you before. You got this!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years, we've been engaged for 7, and we live together with a 6-year-old. We have had our ups and downs but we always seem to get through anything together. I've wanted to get married for years now but when I brought it up he would get defensive and tell me the less I talk about it the more likely he is to do it. I thought I would have to wait maybe a year or two at most... but recently I felt fed up. I took to a forum that said: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" So I stopped having sex with him. He was a little upset by it and he revealed why he doesn't want to get married. He explained how he wanted to find a good priest and didn't want just anybody to do it. I do feel fed up though and don't have a clue what to do. Any advice?
Hi there, thank you for your comment. Well, I definitely think the priest thing is true, but I'm skeptical that it's the entire reason why you two haven't been married yet. It doesn't take 7 years to find a good priest, so my guess is there are other things that could be preventing him setting a date. Maybe he's not even aware or realizing what those other things are. But at the end of the day, this situation is hard, because if not every fear or doubt is on the table, it's harder to find a solution. Also, you being excited to get married and asking about it shouldn't stop someone from making a plan to do it...at least stop someone for 7 years. So that's also why I think someone else might be up with it taking so long. My suggestion is to ask him to pick a date with you. He already asked you to marry him, so now it's time to take the next step which is choosing when. If he is resistant to doing that, then that is a good segway into why. Because if you have a date, you can plan for a priest. My guess is more things might come up once you two discuss a wedding date, and you can hopefully have an honest and open talk, and figure out a solution together.
Thank you kindly for your reply and opinion. I'm going to wait for a good time to bring it up, hopefully a bit of open communication will help figure this out!
It's also time we discuss why the institution is collapsing in the West. Marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men of all Races, all ages, and all economic standing. Moreover, on a cost-benefit analysis A wise man would never put himself at the risk of marriage
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO BENEFIT FOR A MAN TO GET MARRIED, 5YEARS,10,YEARS,15YEARS, THEN IT'S I'M LEAVING .BUT I'LL TAKE 80 PERCENT OF YOUR STUFF, YOUR KIDS,YOURJOB,YOUR HOUSE............80 PERCENT OF DIVORCES ARE INSTIGATED BY BORED WOMEN LOOKING FOR MR GOODBAR,STAY SINGLES GUYS.IT AIN'T WORTH IT.
Terrible advice. There’s incentive. He needs to find the right woman. And treat her right not just a 1 year good behaviour then I’ll neglect all her needs type of scenario. And she will reciprocate and take care of him too.
If you women didn’t wreck men when y’all say “I don’t” (90% of the time I might add) and ruin him in divorce court more of us would marry you. You did this, enjoy your fucking cats.
I have waited for 6 years,, then he said he is " not a marriage commitment kind" of person!
💔 It broke my heart, but at least am not guilty for leaving him,,,
Now he is tryna communicate back ,, yet again saying he is not ready!!!
I just think my tank is empty of any emotions towards him,, am totally consumed💔
Moving on is painful but also healing
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and if you want marriage, never wait 6 years . 1 year is enough for him to decide he wants to be with you. He might propose later, but he will tell you this !
10 years here. It's not worth it. Don't take him back. Move on with someone who actually is sure and ready for you. Not someone who is confused
I think a lot of women also need to be honest and ask why they are ready. A lot of women can not articulate why they believe he is the one and why they want to get married. A lot of pressure is put on a man, but a woman also has to be sure herself and not based on societal norms and expectations.
Anyone get the answer "I just don't feel ready, even though I want to get married to you"??? I can't get a reason out. I moved across the states for this man thinking we would be by now.
I want marriage this my number imo and WhatsApp 0096898202932
Gore4ever FulciLives I feel your pain brother! I feel as if marriage is the final step before a man completely gives up on life! Don’t know why, but that’s just how it comes across in today’s society. I love my girl but I can’t see myself getting married.
@@mobilem11pak51 I can recommend you to a great powerful man of God/prohet Larry that can help you get your ex back with a powerful prayer that lasts forever I have been married for more than 5 years now. Contact him on WhatsApp
+1(929)473-1956
@@mobilem11pak51 I can recommend you to a great powerful man of God/prohet Larry that can help you get your ex back with a powerful prayer that lasts forever I have been married for more than 5 years now. Contact him on WhatsApp
+1(929)473-1956...
@@mobilem11pak51 I tried no contact before but it did not work until I meet a powerful man of God who help me restore back my relationship with a powerful prayers
I feel like I am being strung a long at this point. 11 years. Engaged for I don't even know how many and he just wasn't ready. Finally he is ready covid happens. We moved it. Now that we are planning for this year he has excuses AGAIN that covid is still here, we may be headed for a recession and its stressful... it just sounds like he doesn't want to get married but he doesn't want to lose me. It is so frustrating and heart breaking. And I feel like a fool.
Even after 200 years he will never be ready to marry he is wasting your time I know it's hard but if its possible just collect yourself and just leave it's hard but it will be worth,you will meet a real man who knows how to treat you right
The problem is marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men. The institution is collapsing in the west due to feminism. It's time the elephant in the room be discussed
@@fredstriker2042 we are actually doing couples therapy and im realizing the only one who probably benefits from marriage is me with the exception I make more money.
@@kenyanbae7815 Thank you!!! Right.
@@fredstriker2042 What you describe is a case of public interference in a private matter. Not only that, but in the US most people cannot behave maturely _in divorce proceedings._ Can we then expect them to behave maturely in marriage? From start to finish, marriage is ultimately decided by husband and wife, and no third parties need interfere.
The kindness in your eyes has me crying 🥺 thank you for this, I really needed this
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2.5 years. We can’t live together until we’re engaged for religious/ cultural reasons. He said he wants to get married and talks about our future together all the time but he said he’s not ready. He’s been saying this for over a year and every time I bring it up, it results in an argument and him moving the goalposts further. This weekend he said he’s afraid of it not working out but honestly at this stage I feel so frustrated and upset that we’re not on the same page (it’s like I love him more than he loves me). What should I do? I don’t know what his reasons are and I’ve asked him if it’s financial or because of his family, to which he’s said “no” he’s just not ready and he’s afraid.
I am in the same situation.
We can talk in whatsapp If u want ,lemme know
EmmBB I was in the same situation. I just left my boyfriend. It really hurts because he was not ready. However, I told him that I deserve more. I had to walk away. And I feel that I waited too long. If I were you, I would talk to him one more time and explain how you feel and what you want/need. If you are not on the same page at that point, then it is time to go. Do not waste your time. Please.
Did you guys get married or not? I am in the same boat!! I need help please contact
@@hudamasood2985 we are taking Nikah at the end of August. He just said he genuinely wasn’t ready at the time and needed to work through his anxieties. He said some of his friends had broken up/ got divorced/ were having affairs and he made him nervous about getting engaged and married to me but I guess he worked through it because here we are.
@@BarbieGirlMaeve so happy for you guys 🤗🤗
Wishing all happiness in their relationships
We broke up bc this year he was supposed to meet my family this year and ultimately told me he loves me and I’m the one for him... except he’s not stable yet and isn’t ready. I told him I’m moving forward with my life as I have chosen to try and invest in myself and happiness. But I am so in love and we’ve been talking about the future for a year and half now... A huge part of me is just waiting a little bit. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.
Well I think it's okay to wait a little bit if you are willing to do so. And then at some point, especially when you are feeling frustrated and can no longer wait, then it's important to officially let go and move on. because you can't put your life on hold and wait around at the detriment of yourself. You are #1 and have to make sure you are happy first and foremost. Sounds like you are a logical thinking which is definitely a strength.
So much has changed since I commented on this post two months ago. I found out he was sleeping with someone else as well as bringing her to family events and parties, while somehow still leaving me with hope that he’d be back. He just contacted me Friday where I finally told him never to again. I have since been on dates and have been loving myself. Working out, losing weight, living my best life. However, the sadness and emptiness comes and goes as I remember certain details. Overall, I have become stronger. I realized he had made his decision and I was going to make mine. I choose me.
@@jmia4389 You are so incredibly strong! You are doing everything you need to be doing to take care of yourself. Those sad feelings will come and go as those are part of this process. They are normal and healthy to have. Continue to keep focusing on you and making yourself as happy and as strong as possible. Just make sure the next person you let into your heart is deserving of your love and trust. I wish you the absolute best!
J Mia Hi, I hope everything goes well with you. How did it go? I am in same situation so I hope you can share some thoughts
This is my number imo and WhatsApp I want marriage 0096898202932
Marriage nowadays does not solve any problems for a man only creates responsibilities for matters in which he no longer has authority.
Remove yourselves from this question for a moment.
65% of all marriages end in divorce, no fault.
80% of all divorces filed by women.
95% of all divorces result in unaudited children support order, alimony order. and loss of majority child custody, plus no enforced visitation rights and no due process or law.
Now understand that 80% of all men are invisible to you and/or beneath your contempt.
That leaves about 20% that are both sexually and economically attractive enough for you to ever marry.
All other women want these same guys too.
You cannot compete for all of them. There are just too many women vying for their time, attention & resources.
And you’re too good for all other men, you’re strong independent and don’t need anyone, you’re a 10 and you’re never going to “settle”
Why even complain about your boyfriend having doubts or second thoughts about marriage.
If it was your own brother or your own son, you would likely understand such doubts and fears.
So I am sick from a very long period my life is fully disturbed from education to career ...I am in relationship with my bf for 7 years ..I am 24 now ..my parents are pressuring me for Arrange marriage as my bf is showing no interest about meeting my parents and about the marriage ....I love him but I am stuck ☹️ ....nothing in life is going right!
Stuck in a similar situation now. Dont know what to do. Its horrible
Recently meet someone who I went out with a few weeks. Then started mentioning that she’s wanting to get married within a year. I mentioned to my life situation currently that I’m not going to be pushing to be married within a year. But she’s not willing to be open to waiting till around 3 years because I’m a single parent of a teenager who just lost my kids mom last year. Plus she’s never met my family etc . She’s not as financially stable either yet while just being divorced and having her kids dad living with her as well. So too me that’s another red flags. Not that I’m not looking to get married would love to. But I’m not really financially stable enough as it is in my life currently. Like most people who are struggling financially etc. I’m not going to get married & consistently being in an arguments about finances etc.
As an older gentleman who has watched relationships struggle and marriage begin to collapse as an institution, I can say that women giving women advice about why men don't want to get married is kind of pointless. What men want and what women want are completely different, not to mention I don't think I've ever heard a woman express ANYTHING that I've heard many men say that they feel about marriage and why they are opting out
We've been dating for 2 years and have lived together for 1 year. His reason for not wanting to right now is his desire to travel and live abroad in 1 country (China) for a few years at most to pursue a life long dream of training at a renowned martial arts academy. Eventually opening up a teaching program back in the states. I am also pursuing a similar goal as I too am a teacher and love to travel. I feel he is the one and feel he is very much my soul mate. It only makes sense to me to get engaged because we're compatible in this way. He has communicated his hesitance is not just this major life transformation but also that he is still getting to know me. What are your thoughts on my dilemma?
He is still getting to know you after 2 whole years? It's bullshit. He is just passing time with you and will continue to make excuses even after opening the martial arts school. I'm so sorry you spent two years with this time waster
@@budgetreader Since the time I wrote to you a lot has changed. Thank you for your response. I have clarity about my relationship with him. He has been super insecure about himself and that is a major factor as to why he hasn't yet proposed. His previous relationships one of which ended in betrayal/cheating. I have compassion for this and I understand completely because i've too been there. We have since then grown, we've been through many lows and highs. It took me leaving to for it to dawn on him that he has been scared shitless. He has admitted he wants to does think about marrying me and how he will propose. He wants to be in a place where he is confident, successful before doing so.
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He wants to marry every time he says that but whenever i say something about it he says to wait
All i know is that he is not financially stable right now may be thats the reason but for me , in my religion its not okay to be in relationship so i want to marry him nd live separately until he get financially stable so than we can move out together
But he don't want it like that
I m just messed up hopefully everything would get better soon Insha'Allah
You all need to read the Bible and what God says about marriage. Don't be soulless fools and follow society's standards and norms. If a man doesn't want to commit to a woman he is stealing tge childbearing years from her. It's now on the woman to make a smart choice. Get up and walk out and don't look back. There is always another man who will totally commit so much do you would not have to have these difficult nonsensical discussions. Do not waste your time. Men who don't commit think grass is greener and someone better will come along while keeping you on the side. Also keep your legs closed until you are a wife. Don't live and act as married couples when you are not. Get right with God and he will bless you with all his offerings.
I couln't find this in the Bible
@@LindiMs - you wont. its made up BS
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years now and he opened up to me about wanting to get married. I was ready for that and loved the idea. He then went on to tell his family he was going to propose which they didn't approve of. Which made him lead me on and say he will and then wont and back and forth even went so far as to do the proposal then days later call off the marriage but wanting to be engaged all because he feels like hes going against his family by doing something he wants but they don't. I'm getting really really hurt by this and I'm just wondering what to do at this point. He truly does want to marry me but he's letting his family hold him back.
This is my number imo and WhatsApp 0096898202932 I want marriage please answer back
He doesn't want to marry you. Wouldn't have done so much back and forth. By staying through it you've shown him that you're willing to take the disrespect. When men love you and have courage they don't put their family's opinions over your happiness
What will you bring to the table in the marriage? Perhaps rather than blame the man or blame his family you should take this as a little time for introspection. Are you worth it? Do you make his life better? What will he have to sacrifice versus what you will be sacrificing?
In the west currently marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men. Nothing to gain and everything to lose. A wise man would never get married in Western society and its current state
I hope you have moved on to someone who wants to marry you, cuz the situation you are describing is not it.
Same thing for me... Except I'm still in it. Idk what to do
@1:42 You want to know what his reason is for not wanting to get married? Okay I am going to tell you .
Men do not fear commitment and marriage.
Men fear divorce because it can literally destroy his life.
The first step to getting divorced is to get married.
Sure there could be other reason but this DIVORCE is why he is balking.
☝
So this kind of man should stay an incel
Sean, you nailed it.
yup. in this boat now. Together 2.5 years, both of us divorcees (both at same time 2019) shes wanting to marry. we bought a house together.. been living together. Im good. Why the need to marry? Nope... its not a religious thing for her either.... but its near every day nagging and im not wanting to it as I lost SO MUCH in the divorce after 19 years of marriage. Why cant women just be happy living together? I dont get it.
Me and my bf have been together for 5 years now, living together for 2. We met in high school and he followed me out of town for college, so we are only 21. I don’t mind waiting a few more years to get our finances and careers together before but I don’t like the idea of him not knowing when he’ll be ready. If he proposed today I would say yes! So why is it that he wants to get married but he doesn’t know when?😕 The idea of waiting at least another 5 years for a PROPOSAL feel awful!!
After 5 years not knowing when he'll want to marry you is just frankly bullshit on his part. He is pushing your boundaries and seeing whether he can just fool around with you till he finds someone else. Ask him to give you a quick timeline or throw him out.
Seiryuu Aguilar we talked about it about a week ago. Now we have a wedding date but still no proposal 😩
Same situation dear don't know what to say he is not thinking of the marriage although we are 21 I m ready to give him time but he is not even think of it....
If it’s not a hard yes it’s a hard no. After 2 years or more they know if they want to marry you are not. Get out.
My daughter got engaged they've been dating for 3 years but they're both only 20 so they're going to wait 2 years ever since they've got engaged he's overwhelmed he does not want to be married basically it's his mom forcing the relationship because she loves my daughter and she's a great person I mean I get it and doesn't want her son to lose her etc. My daughter also wants to get married. I think he feels trapped doesn't want the responsibility losing his freedoms. He's also immature I feel bad for him because he can't go to my daughter and he can't go to his mom what do you do
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This is such a good video. Thank you
I been in relationship for 4 years he said he was going purpose in are baby birthday never happened than he ask my kids if he should marry me said he plain on doing that when weather got warm. when i bought it up ask about it now he says he going to wait until she old enough feels like game. we live together he barley helps me at all. so when I ask how long it would be he said he don't know. is it best to let go?
Yes!!! Let go.
I needed your lines thank you
If you really need marriage you need to move on and the quicker the better.
but no man that is thinking with his big head should ever be ready for marriage...
No man should ever get married in the West on a cost-benefit analysis.
@@fredstriker2042 facts don't lie...
the only wining move is not to play
@@longredroad4249 EXACTLY. Not to mention I've always wondered why in the world women keep asking women why men don't want to get married LOL
@@fredstriker2042 females don't see what awake men do. this is what I would look at in 2021 as a young single guy; warning incoming wall of text;
the main stream trad-chuck's say, "Marriage It's a better deal for men, than women"... this is BS.
Marriage for a man;
lose your friends, check
lose your hobbies, check
lose your respect, check
lose your space, check (man cave is in the most undesirable place in house)
lose your sex life, check and GONE sooner or later.
lose your money, check (your money is her money)
lose your family, likely a check if a divorce happens.
lose your good looking woman, check the wedding cake is a FAT grenade that she pulls the pin on.
lose your quiet life, check
lose your peace for drama, check
lose your freedom, check
lose your dreams, check and hell yes.
lets add up the checks.. oh ya it is way past time to check out.
The only winning move is not to play.
I want my bf to wait for me for 2 yrs but he is saying that he wants to marry early due to family. Pressure.. But I need some time to convince my parents for him.. But he is not waiting.. What to do??
Leave him alone and let him find someone who is ready.
how old is he. what is his cultural back. girl dont force it. let him find someone else.
Hi have you anything about marriage?
i needed this
In a guys mind, marriage is not a good choice. if had a fifty percent chance of losing all your hard earned resources, would you risk it?
Hi Thomas! Thanks for commenting! I hear what you're saying, and I would counter by saying that there are ways to keep 100% of your hard earned resources in a divorce, so I don't necessarily think that should be the deciding factor on whether or not a person gets married. There are ways to minimize the risk of losing what you've earned. But it is something to consider, absolutely.
@@KristinCoaching actually that's not true, any decent lawyer can get around a prenuptial agreement quite easily in America. Not to mention women file roughly 80% of all divorces, receive 97% of all Court awarded alimony some of which is Lifetime, and women receive custody of your children 85% of the time regardless of the actions of either party in the marriage.
My fiancè asked me to marry in the Beginning of 2019, we planned to for 2020 and pandemic blocked it. Now he wants to cancel it. Like he says he want to marry me but now he doesn’t feel ready. It’s so difficult for me. He is passing a bad period now but it still breaks my heart. Ah and we are togheter for 11 years...
Tell me one benefit a man gets from marriage in the West?
@@fredstriker2042 to be with "the" women you love?
@@ChihyuChen0924 you can "be in love" without getting married.... Try again
I don't understand how I got a negative reply. I put any comment I put on here. That's my business to share and if you got something negative to say to me I will block you from my page. if you got anything negative to say don't tag my f****** name in it
Beautiful ,, lovely
I’m a guy but can someone tell me why women want a wedding so bad ? I just don’t understand it, this is a serious question.
A wedding is something many women dream of since they were little kids. Playing "house" with their friends, the princess marrying the prince, playing barbies and picturing barbie marrying ken. Many women want to make the fantasy happen, they want that commitment, the beautiful time and the celebration of their love with their prince charming. For every women the "why's" may vary. For me personally it's taking the next step, celebrating my love, making those beautiful memories, wanting to start a family in security, planning a wonderful ceremony, having the parties with people I care about dearly, calling my boyfriend my fiance or husband, making a real anniversary, having this romantic day, a feeling of growing up. I want him to show me how much I mean to him, how he also wants to be in my life as much as I want him in mine. Maybe it's corny, but it's just something... What are reasons men want or don't want to get married?
@@rosannadots7772 I’ve decided marriage probably isn’t my thing because I have serious trust issues with women (I’m not sexist just my experiences), also I think the money you spend can be spent on something like a vacation.
@@SA-rk2lv Sure, marriage is not for everyone. We live in a time that marriage is not necessary anymore in the west. Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page on that, a lot of women also chose not to get married anymore. Maybe consider other options like registered partnership, or something else if you want to think of stability when one of you passes (not fun to think about but with kids in a relationship it's good to think about that!). A wedding doesn't have to be expensive either, but I really get your point, not trying to talk you out of your opinion. Trust issues for past experiences is something you, unfortunately, have to deal with. Seeking help is not something to be ashamed of, working on oneself is a beautiful thing! It's very easy for me to say this, but not everyone is like the people who hurt you before. You got this!
@@SA-rk2lv Also vacations are great! And a good way to celebrate too!😄
@@rosannadots7772 it’s people like you that make me still have hope, thank you❤️
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years, we've been engaged for 7, and we live together with a 6-year-old. We have had our ups and downs but we always seem to get through anything together. I've wanted to get married for years now but when I brought it up he would get defensive and tell me the less I talk about it the more likely he is to do it. I thought I would have to wait maybe a year or two at most... but recently I felt fed up. I took to a forum that said: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" So I stopped having sex with him. He was a little upset by it and he revealed why he doesn't want to get married. He explained how he wanted to find a good priest and didn't want just anybody to do it. I do feel fed up though and don't have a clue what to do. Any advice?
Hi there, thank you for your comment. Well, I definitely think the priest thing is true, but I'm skeptical that it's the entire reason why you two haven't been married yet. It doesn't take 7 years to find a good priest, so my guess is there are other things that could be preventing him setting a date. Maybe he's not even aware or realizing what those other things are. But at the end of the day, this situation is hard, because if not every fear or doubt is on the table, it's harder to find a solution. Also, you being excited to get married and asking about it shouldn't stop someone from making a plan to do it...at least stop someone for 7 years. So that's also why I think someone else might be up with it taking so long. My suggestion is to ask him to pick a date with you. He already asked you to marry him, so now it's time to take the next step which is choosing when. If he is resistant to doing that, then that is a good segway into why. Because if you have a date, you can plan for a priest. My guess is more things might come up once you two discuss a wedding date, and you can hopefully have an honest and open talk, and figure out a solution together.
Thank you kindly for your reply and opinion. I'm going to wait for a good time to bring it up, hopefully a bit of open communication will help figure this out!
@@TheChgz Yes, communicating is key. Talk without blame is important to. Trying to find a RESOLUTION is what is most important. I wish you the best!
Why ruin a good thing. Marriage is not always a good thing. You don't need a legal document to prove your love
TheChgz hi Ch, I hope everything goes well with you. How did it go? I am in same situation so I hope you can share some thoughts
If you need marriage to desire my company then we aren't marriage material.
ladies, we don't want to marry. change the divorce laws. I'll think about it then.
💔😢
It's also time we discuss why the institution is collapsing in the West. Marriage has become a statistical sucker's bet for men of all Races, all ages, and all economic standing. Moreover, on a cost-benefit analysis A wise man would never put himself at the risk of marriage
I proposed to my bf after 7months and he said no I don't know what to do I'm ready but he aint😩
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I did the same thing and he said no ....6 years later he's still not "ready" ..
TOSHA K
Do you need helped?
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO BENEFIT FOR A MAN TO GET MARRIED, 5YEARS,10,YEARS,15YEARS, THEN IT'S I'M LEAVING .BUT I'LL TAKE 80 PERCENT OF YOUR STUFF, YOUR KIDS,YOURJOB,YOUR HOUSE............80 PERCENT OF DIVORCES ARE INSTIGATED BY BORED WOMEN LOOKING FOR MR GOODBAR,STAY SINGLES GUYS.IT AIN'T WORTH IT.
Terrible advice. There’s incentive. He needs to find the right woman. And treat her right not just a 1 year good behaviour then I’ll neglect all her needs type of scenario. And she will reciprocate and take care of him too.
If you women didn’t wreck men when y’all say “I don’t” (90% of the time I might add) and ruin him in divorce court more of us would marry you. You did this, enjoy your fucking cats.