Friends First!? Are There Any Benefits to Being Friends with Your Partner First?
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- Опубликовано: 18 май 2022
- Should couples be friends first? We weigh in on whether there are benefits to being friends before romantic partners and if men genuinely want friendships before sex.
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#FriendsFirst #LoversorFriends #Sex 
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I understand Adrienne’s perspective and I really want to side with her, but the reality is exactly what Loni & Garcelle said. All men size women up FIRST as potential lovers, even though they’ll play that “friend” role KNOWING that they want more.
Nahhh I don’t like that mentality, not all men are the same, how can we as women know what they think?
I understand what you mean but reality is Adrienne is the only one in a successful marriage 🤷🏽♀️
nor every time...sometimes people can be friends for years, feel like brothers and sisters, then later start developing romantic feelings. like childhood friends
I completely agree with this! Men don’t becomes a women’s friend just because he wants to build a friendship. It’s because he already has the intention of wanting more and he understands that a woman wants to be friends first so he plays that role until he gets what he wants.
I know there are exceptions but that’s the minority lol
Facts‼️I swear that’s the first thing on there mind, they play the friend card to ease their way in and then they start acting weird ones y’all get close, gay or straight most men have this same mentality.
I completely agree with A. I feel relationships last better with friends turned lovers
Absolutely.
The BEST relationships start with a foundation of friendship.
I really like Loni’s breakdown of “bond” vs. “friendship”. Like there is a difference between the two because everybody you have a bond with is not your friend. Like for example, associates you don’t consider friends but you still have a bond with them.
I think the whole friends before lovers depends on the person. I’m similar to Adrienne, I prefer to know the person before dating just for it to grow naturally into something else. As well as for me to feel comfortable and completely myself. I think it just makes it more sweet in the end.
I also think being friends with your mate first gets emphasized more because once the “honeymoon” phase is over, you should still like your mate and have a bond/friendship for it to work. Most people get caught up in the butterflies and romantic stage but at the end of the day that bond or friendship is the glue on keeping y’all together.
Lonnie and garcelle are giving a tree on a hard time. Lonnie's trying to be technical all Adrian is trying to say is it's best to have an idea who you're getting involved with. Many women go on dates with strangers never to be found again
I agree with A, my husband and I started as friends. And I started to fall in love with everything about him. I’m so glad that we were friends before getting into a relationship. My husband is truly my best friend there’s absolutely nothing I can’t tell him, and he feels the same. Here we are going 10+ years strong ❤
Congrats 🎉
🗣”I just need you to be my MAN! “ - I felt that 😅🥰
Me too…in my SOUL!
Wait who said that I forgot who it was again I think it was between loni or Garcelle🥴🥴🤔🤔
I agree being friends first is very important getting to know each other is the best solution to a great relationship
100% Your love partner should be your best friend. Adrienne is correct. A relationship that begins from a deep, intense friendship will lead to a more lasting bond. I think in the process of him pursuing you, you grow together and that bond becomes a friendship.
I don't want to be in a relationship with a man I only see as a sex partner.
Well Adrienne and Isreal had to start as "friends" considering he was married and she was engaged (or at least in a relationship) when they met.
Well I disagree 100%
You can call it being “friends” but it’s basically the courtship, getting to know the personality, getting to know each other personally, and seeing if you’re a potential partner phase.
Most men don’t just be friends with girls and don’t expect something in return whether that’s sexual or a relationship. They got their homeboys that they can be friends with and talk boys stuff with. Men don’t look at women and be like, “oh, I wanna be her bestie”.
This is where men and women mentality is different.
@@FriendshipIsMagic1998 um no. He cheated on his wife with someone else not Adrienne. Stop spreading lies. The wife already said the truth multiple times
I couldn’t disagree more with Loni and Garcelle, on every man sizing up every woman they come across. No! I am capable of being exclusively friends with women.
👏🏾
I’m with Adrienne 10000000% friends turned lovers because sex is nothing
Really miss Jeannie Mai’s input on this conversation.
Same! I wanna know if Freddy’s and Jeanie’s relationship started as friends first or not 😬😂
Jeezy’s and Jeanie’s relationship definitely did not start off as friends, you know damn well when Jeezy showed up as a cohost, They were both interested♥️😂
Where is she?
@@HH-gv8mx hustling… trying out for new job opportunities.
@@familytv9585 I just saw her talking about some game show she’s going to host. I’m really gonna miss this show I’m really gonna miss the show there’s nothing like it on daytime TV.
@@HH-gv8mx yes me too. I always thought I would be a great addition to the show. Lol they are my friends in my head.
💯 agree w Adrienne. I could never understand it any other way
I agree with A, for a long lasting relationship, you have to have a friendship. Your friend would be more cautious of breaking your heart and would respect you more. Your friend that you build a genuine relationship with, not necessarily starting as your best friend. My husband and I started off in a work friend group and started to get to know each other and there was automatic chemistry. We were intentional about taking our time tho. We dated and even remained friends after we broke up. We eventually got back together and ended up getting married. It's been 19 years.
Lolol I’m in this exact situation, how did you guys get back together? What was the catalyst? And who ended things initially and why?
There has to be some level of friendship for your relationship to be successful. I may not agree with Adrienne on many things but I’m with her on this one. My man and I didn’t start as friends but we have become each other’s best friend through the years.
In that case you agree with the others, not Adrienne. She was saying it's necessary to be friends before dating. Becoming friends once in a relationship is different, so you just gave the other ones the reason.
It’s hard for me to be friends with a guy I already like or I’m starting to like. I’m going thru that now, lol. But I agree more with Adrienne on this. Being friends first is a good thing. Just jumping into a relationship right away without really taking the time to get to know each other, can fizzle out fast sometimes. We always think guys just want us right away and that’s not always true. Some men just want to take things slow sometimes.
yeah, if you already like someone romantically it's almost impossible to be just platonic friends.
@@janejustin1788 yes! It’s so hard, lol.
You don't have to jump into a relationship, you date in order to find out your compatibility. When you become friends first, you build intimacy without necessarily vetting them for what you need in a relationship. My experience is just because you make good friends, doesn't mean you'll be good lovers. You still need to date and vet.
I think Adrienne was saying is to have some type of friendly relationship before going the intimate route … I get it !
I agree with Adrienne. My husband and I started off as friends first, and yeah he had already "sized me up" before we started dating. I believe that a friendship is what sustains our marriage as well as any healthy marriage through the difficult times.
I agree with Adrienne. When you’re friends first you get to know them better outside of how this person is pursuing you to be in a relationship.
Leave it to Adrienne "I've only slept with 5 ppl" to pretend like she doesn't know what a casual relationship is.
I feel like she sometimes lies because I remember in another episode she said she had hoes back then and if she had hoes aint no way she wasn’t having sex with them
@@maddieperks4427 she def be lying or saying things that just sound good.
Yet she claimed she was a cheater
My boyfriend and I were best friends before we started dating and even when we hit a wall one time we both respected each other so much because we knew that if we didn't work out we wouldn't just throw each other away because well always be friends. I really feel like he's still my best friend even though we dating.
Loni in warm colours is just always gorgeous. Always.
In every relationship I had, my partner and I developed a friendship overtime. He would always be the first person I wanted to call if anything good/bad/exciting/funny happened. I can't imagine going to my girlfriends with that first. I couldn't be in a relationship where there's no friendship. Nope, not for me.
Is garcelle and Lonnie for real. What kind of men are they dating. They probably have to sleep with one eye open
You don’t need to be friends first. A lot of times that is all it ends up being and doesn’t turn into a relationship. Once you view someone platonic they stay there and that won’t shift to romantic. After you’ve both established mutual interest and being on the same page, you go on dates. Dates is how you get to know someone you’re interested in romantically. After dating then you establish a relationship.
Setting up a friendship means you have a built in friend once u do get with this person… you see them as your best friend! When u can talk about anything , laugh about anything , and simply just enjoys each other’s company without the pressure of it and then subconsciously happen to fall in love after the fact… it truly is a beautiful thing and can be if u do it right
Totally agree...👍🥰
I was friends with my hubby for 6 months first which set a great foundation and is great for companionship in the end. However, I know he was sizing me up loool and he was hoping we'd get together. Either way, it's good to date whilst seeing if they are a good friend. You wouldn't wanna be with someone who's not a good person xxx
I with Adrienne on this one. I want my man to be my friend. It is a must for me. I can't even start to like a man that much until I like him as a friend first. Then I begin to get turned on by him.
I completely agree that it's better to be friends before getting into a romantic relationship. Sure it works out sometimes when people don't go that route, but I think friendship lays a great foundation for a relationship. And I think relationships go a lot better sometimes if you really get to know the person beforehand and add that extra intimate layer to your relationship.
HOW DO WE SAVE THE SHOW!!! I love this show tooo much!!!
I believe Ade wants to think that men dont do that bc of how she met her husband. But the reality is that men do that even the good men, they just never act on it if they are in a committed relationship. That is why i am a firm believer that in a marriage we dont need opposite sex friends that arent couple friends of ours.
lol well that's not good enough cause Adrienne and Lenny used to double date with Israel and his ex-wife. Heard that on the Wendy Show when Adrienne and Israel first got together.
Ask people stuck in the house during the pandemic.....only so much sex you can have. FRIENDS is the most important thing, IMO!
Exactly...which is why so many relationships feel apart during the lockdown of the pandemic...because they were forced to put the real depth of their relationship to the test and realized beyond sex they had nothing much really in common or not as compatible as the sex made them blinded to thinking they were...I totally agree with you and Adrienne on this...all of my past relationships that began as true friends first...we are still cool with each other to this day...and the few in between that were more physical attraction based first without a real friends foundation built outside the bedroom...we have nothing else to say to each other once it was over....😏 I want my man to be my friend first for sure...that just works best for me...🤷♀️
@@inspirationalempressoflove220 Totally. I have to marry or date my FRIEND. No compromising there!
I was completely on Ade side at first so should be friends with partner, BUT Loni made a good point i don't think they have to be your best friend and dating someone in your friend group doesn't mean they that who they are behind close doors that can just be the front they put up we see those stories pan out all the time next thing you know y'all break up and everyone is on their side cause it's automatically your fault cause it couldn't be their's. And sometimes you do ruin a great friendship for a relationship that didn't last. And Ade made her husband her everything which if that works for her I love it, but not a lot of relationships work out like that.
I think you can be friends with your partner first.
NOT ALL GUYS DO THAT LONI.
I have some great friendships with females and never even thought about them sexually. And even if I did in a slight moment it doesn’t even feel right … specially now that I see them as a little sister.
I’m going to miss these conversations. Keep the show alive on YT ladies!!!!
My favorite trio. I love when these 3 ladies are on the panel together. So fun!
Yes the 3 of them have a really perfect flow and vibe
I love them too but I also love Jeanie’s input. She always have so much interesting stories to tell.
Facts !!! Some people are not Ur type and when u get to know their soul thats when the deep attraction starts. Avoid dating and u might find the one
Gosh I wish Jeannie was here. I wonder what she'd say
I agree with Loni and Garcelle. MOST men are interested in more than friendship when they meet you. For me personally, to be in a romantic relationship with you, there would have to be a physical attraction there. So the chances that we would be friends first is unlikely. I would know right away whether I am attracted and it would always be with the lovers mindset. If I am friends with a guy first, it’s cause I’m not attracted to that guy and the chances that would turn into a relationship eventually are slim because I’m not going to suddenly and magically become attracted after knowing the guy for some time. Also, it’s always been a wild concept to me how women just meet a man and marry them and then that man is suddenly their BEST friend. As if the other relationships and friendships in your life cease to exist once this new person enters. It just reeks of insecurity and an identity crisis. Your husband should obviously be your friend but to force your husband to fulfill EVERY role in your life seems like a problem. You can have a husband and have your own friends!
What about women you arent attracted to? Do you refuse to form a friendship?
Someone gets it!!!
I never understood when people said " he's my best friend" I never got that. I find it a little weird. I don't tell my husband everything.
We need more discussions like this!!! Don't cancel The Real.
I do agree that there should be some degree of friendship or foundation/understanding outside of the intimate part of the relationship. But as Loni and Garcelle were saying, men (some women also) tend to portray the friend role just go further to reach the intimate part.
Exactly! We call it being a “friend” but it’s basically the courtship and getting to know each other to see if they’re a potential partner phase.
Great points all around
My husband and I weren't friends at first. I mean we would associate and sometimes be within the same circle. But now he's my best friend
Adrienne’s hair 😍💜
Lonnie end garcelle had never experienced love at it's Optimum level simply because they were never best friends with their significant other. Adrian knows what she's talking about
I totally agree with Adrienne!
I agree with Adrien , friendship is important too in a relationship.
I really enjoyed listening to this conversation so very much.
Unfortunately, I've never transitioned from strictly friends to a relationship but however I think I'd like to experience it now.
I want my man to be my close friend who I feel comfortable revealing my inner thoughts to. But I don’t know about having to start first as friends ONLY, I still want a romantic element to be there, or a pursuit. Because once someone is my platonic friend I kind of feel it weird to take them out of the friend zone and think of them in a romantic way lol. If they have only been treating me in a platonic way and haven’t shown interest in me, it could turn me away as well. I know what I like in a man so I’m not going to suddenly find someone attractive after a year of talking that I didn’t find attractive before. I’m going to develop a crush quite quickly if I like our conversations etc
Why not build the friendship and closeness at the same time as the romantic relationship, that has worked for me.. and I’ve been able to remain friends after breaking up because of that
It’s interest how people stick to their way of thinking even when it’s not working for them. Of all three of these women, I’d prefer Adrienne’s relationship. I’d go with her perspective why because it works, I don’t understand holding on to a mindset that hasn’t roped good fruit.
I agree with this!!
Out of so many comments, you're the only that gets it.. These things aren't mutually exclusive
I Told you Don't Always Listen to Loni. Adreain you are right not every man wants to get into a woman's pants. Even for the example you wanted to give before Garccel and Loni cleverly changed the subject. You were going to say you don't think people s parents will be looking at every lady and be thinking of sleeping with them and that was a very good point there.
Loni screamy laugh at the beginning had me rolling lol.
I hear that even if two people are friends for a long time guys are always hoping there's a chance romantically. The relationship could be completely platonic for years but if she show's interest and the door is even ajar, he'll take it. Am I wrong?
I'm so with Ade here. Periodt.
Yes friends first. I'm friends with this guy now. We just go out and dance together. I'm happy with our relationship . Eventually it will blossom more 😍
I agree with Adrienne!
So many believe that people should start off as friends first then turn into lovers. So I'm wondering, how does one avoid the "friend zone" or how does one avoid being in the "You're like a brother/sister to me" zone?
That's my problem, my male friends stay my male friends 😔 even if I try I can never see them as more. But I'd love to be best friends with my partner
That's the dilemma!
I would say be a genuine and consistent great friend even if you’re put in that zone. My husband was and I valued that so much that I took him out of the friend zone. We’ve been together for over 6 years now.
Well there’s a difference between being “friend zoned” versus being friends first. If they really like you, it could grow into love. Being friend zoned is like, no, I don’t like you and you never become more than a friend.
This is where people get confused.
We call it “being friends first” but that stage is basically the getting to know them and figuring out if they’re the right person to pursue a relationship with or not.
So in reality, it’s not really “being friends first”
Why is the real getting even better at the end
You can be friends but still find the person attractive.
I'm with Adrienne in this one. 🧑🏿🤝🧑🏻👭🏻👫
I love Loni's comments to the other ladies' about their attractiveness
I agree 💯 with Adrianne..my husband and I are friends and lovers so I totally agree
I understand all three ladies perspectives. Good segment.
Awww I like how loni was like you guys are my friends while saying I don't need a man to be my friend lmaoo but the you guys are my friends part was cute in a sense 😊😊
These are all some valid points for sure. I do believe that men size up women to see if they could get with you initially. On a date I think people do show their representatives and when you are friends you get to see the real them so I get what A is saying. Howver, you can definitely meet someone with romantic interest and then build friendship over time if it's a genuine connection.
Friendship is important initially, but I'm not looking for a best friend in a partner. I have best friends already. I'm looking for a life partner in a man.
To what Loni was saying…there’s a difference in the type of friendship (b/c romantic feelings a involved), but I feel like if there’s a deep bond then there’s always a friendship. But maybe I’m wrong?🤔
Agree with Adrienne
Well damn ! I was not expecting that Loni 😳😂😂😂
Adrienne please let your husband continue to be your best friend.
Ain't nothing wrong with it.
I don't even get why they are hating on that.
They don't know her husband.
Even so 1 is single and one ain't even married.
I wouldn't listen to them.
My wife is ny best friend and that foundation works.
It’s necessary that you are able to get along with someone in the way that friends do in order for relationships to work, so yes friends first for sure.
It would be nice to be friends with a guy first but if I’m friends with someone I intend to stay friends I don’t intend to open up to be a relationship. If you’re both single around the same time and it happens it happens but how likely is that to happen? But maybe I should go out of my way to be best friends with the guys I find attractive.
I'm showing my face in one week. If this one Drizzle does not receive one my trillion. My Word itself is good enough for him.
I’m 💯 Ade in this convo, your husband should be your best friend.
I agree w Adrienne! my husband and mom are my best friends .
Been married for 6 years, my husband is not my best friend but I love him very much. It's not necessary for me.
Loni is hilarious, but thank you again Garcelle!!
He can be your man and along the way end up as your bestie too. I also think it's healthier to be bestfriends as well.
I agree with Adrienne
I agree with both ladies in a sense that I do think that men size you up but I also think that rather or not you meet to intentionally be in a relationship or as friends you still are build some sort of friendship. In a relationship you will go through ups and downs and during those downs a friend will know how to break the tension by making you laugh or talking about something a friend would talk about and take off the relationship hat for a sec whereas a strictly partner may not. It’s only about the relationship. I want a friend as well as a lover.
Tbh I agree with Loni and Garcelle.
I know a lot of women are like “my man is my best friend”
Like no he’s not, sis. Go get yourself some real girlfriends.
Personally, there are stuff I tell my friends that I don’t tell my man and vice versa. I love them both equally in different ways.
i agree with Adrienne all the wayyy
I understand everyone opinion but I agree with A👏
I agree with Lonni! No I don't think you have to be best friends with your husband. Its a different bond. I have my own friends. My husband and I have different hobbies. We enjoy each other's company but I'm not treating him like my girlfriends. And if you get to comfortable with being friends with ur husband then the sexual part gets weird to me.
the idea of marrying someone who ISN'T your best friend is absolutely wild to me. like I'm gonna share a home and live with this person ever single day? they gotta be my best friend
No, they just gotta be my man. Not my best friend.
Can I do fun stuff and share stuff to my man like I would my best friend? Of course!
But you’re either my man or my best friend.
@@cloroxbitch2491 that's a bummer
I agree with Adrienne, I feel my boyfriend is my bestfriend too! I love he is both... I agree with her, I relate with her the most
There's definitely a bonus in being friends first.
Been married 19 years. Started out best friends. Even more so now.
Loni looks great in pink 💕
But Adrienne you had pics w you and Lenny and Israel and his now ex-wife on a double date😭 I swear she counts on people forgetting it all.
Oh there's pics too? I just heard about the double dates on Wendy Williams' show lol.
My boyfriend tells me that all the time. “When a man likes a woman in any form of way, They can be friends in her mind but he’s just waiting for the right opportunity “
I’m with Adrienne🤷🏾♀️
I had a friendship with my man first but I feel like I was played like he just😩Glad he did though cause we're madly in love till this day❤❤❤🥰🥰
I have very clear boundaries for friends so there would be no "friends to lovers". If someone is my friend and not my crush, it's for a reason. All my boyfriends have been someone I bonded with vs best friends before.
One thing I’ve noticed Adrienne rarely really think’s without talking she is so quick with words sometimes it’s like girl what are you saying??? But i I understood her here . After the repeated explanation lol
I agree with Adrienne not every man is trying to size a girl up. Like sorry if it’s a blow to some peoples egos but sometimes men just don’t have interest and are going about their lives
I think what they meant was if he eventually does make his attraction to the woman known it's because he's been checking her out since day one. It doesn't just happen suddenly or coincidentally.
Adrienne said “they are both my friends” 😂😂😂
Ideally it would be great if the person you married was also your best friend, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a few friendships and getting something different from each.
What happens if you break up?
Now tell me why are we losing this show? 🤦🏽♀️
Im more on Adrienne's side on this one. Plain and simple.
😆😆😆 Loni took me by surprise
Bruh! lol