This is how I feel about MBTI too! People dismiss me all the time for it!!! But I see it as a tool or cheat code to level up & grow!! You’ll see the pros & cons / strengths & weaknesses of your MBTI & Enneagram & you can chose the traits you wanna get rid of or train yourself to work on it… But people don’t care…
I don't see it as putting them in boxes. It helps you understand their mindset and help push them to better levels of health. I agree with Solomon about being smart. Thank you for sharing!
I get when people are concerned to be put in boxes. I also understand where you are coming from, Dr. Tom, saying we are already in boxes. We may have to be careful so typing people based on a short interaction or brief observation. Even people themselves assign the wrong Enneagram number to themselves. My sister thought she is a 4 but after an extensive test she is type 7. When reading the 7 personality traits she said they resonate more with her than typ 4’s. So if we assign Enneagram types to other people (incorrectly) we may fall for confirmation bias, only seeing traits of the type we think they are. It’s important to keep an open mind. Now when we type correctly the Enneagram is a very powerful tool to understand ourselves better and your videos are excellent source to do so. Thank you.
What bothers me about the Enneagram: how it all seems to fit so perfectly, each type sitting next to the right ones on each side, and the paths of growth making a nice symmetrical shape... And it all _works_ somehow. In some way, it has managed to perfectly encode a lot of patterns within my family and no, this isn't confirmation bias, this just fits snuggly and nicely. Mindblowing. What I cherish from the Enneagram: so I'm a Four. I have, to quote something you said in a different video, "oversized emotions", and this need to release them into the wind and maybe impact someone, ideally in a positive manner (I spent a lot of time being a stressed Two, so I care a lot about helping and uplifting others). Yet... This wasn't exactly appreciated by a lot of people. I was told many times that I'm too sensitive, too thin-skinned, too emotional, too open with my feelings, "you're not the only one who has problems", etc. I spent my entire life taking in the message that there's something deeply wrong about me, that I'm annoying, I'm a pest and nobody wants me around (unless I shut up, be nice and blend in), and trying and failing to correct that through therapy and whatnot... And then along came the Enneagram and said to me "there's nothing inherently bad about your personality. It's just one type amongst many!". That was incredibly validating. I can accept myself for who I am now. Do I need to work on improving myself? Of course! Something else the Enneagram taught me is that not everyone is a Four, so not everyone is that overemotional and they may truly just not be able to understand my emotional landslides, so just knowing my type is not going to make me any less irritating haha, and I need to work on redirecting my energy in a different direction. But I can do that from a baseline of self-love instead of self-hatred. Just my 2c.
I love your videos so much, I’ve taken so many notes from your content and learned an incredible amount about being a 5. when I took the enneagram quiz I was also very closely a type 1. I don’t necessarily see myself as just type 5, because I also see a lot of type 1, type 4, and type 6. I have watched all your “help for type ___” videos and honestly learned something from every video. I don’t know if you agree, but it has helped me to address different types I feel I have in myself instead of just saying I am type 5 alone :)
Enjoyed and watched your video's for years. You have helped me be a better, higher version of my enneagram. You enneagram 7, is amazing. Your joy of adventure helps all.
100% on point. Almost all my family members don't want to hear anything about the Enneagram and I just want to help them understand how unhealthy they are.. it's frustrating indeed! Keep up the good and passionate work Tom
@Transplanted1 Nice. Especially for a 5 it's nice to know that he was even interested to begin with. It's funny you say this because one of my bros is a 5 and he's at the deepest unhealthy state he can possibly be, and there's nothing I can do about it. My parents have their heads in the sand thinking it's "just a phase" but FFS he's 30 years old still living in the basement... has never had a job (barely) nor any friends or girlfriend. Like nothing. I tried numerous times to reach out in different ways but all in vain.
As with any interest/passion, what bothers me is... gatekeeping. E.g., I've been into heavy metal since the early 90's, but I don't care if someone wearing a band's shirt can "name three songs". Kinda like you said, I might talk with them and see if I can get them interested in the music, but if they just want to wear a shirt (or a label, whatever), *shrug* much bigger problems in life than "posers" or whatever. In my experience, a so-called johnny-come-lately poser usually either quickly loses interest *or* they're not really a johnny-come-lately poser, but rather people calling them that are being close-minded about what it means to identify with something. Teachers can and should be students themselves. (Not directed at you ;) ) Gatekeeping usually just assuages egos.
Oooh! I see "The Enneagram Guy" is on the porch of his beachfront property today! I LIKE your 7ness!...and ENFPs too. Their sense of fun tends to rub off on me, and that tends to be a good thing for my own 5ness :)
The enneagram is just a way of seeing the coping mechanisms we form in our infancy based on our perspective of external factors that become “who we are” until we choose to change. Those coping mechanisms will remain in our sub conscious and be our first “go to” unless we stay aware and reprogram consistently. Biblically, to me, this is the self Paul says does every day, the “natural man”, It shows one how their personal choices in life were often due to, and then reinforced, these coping mechanisms. By the grace of God we can all subdue this perspective and see through His eyes
That was excellent Tom. Someday I’d like to know more about if 4’s tend to be narcissistic. From what I’ve discovered, narcissistic personality disorder is a “thing” on its own. Disabuse me…..
Look at Keys to the enneagram Tom. There Will be a very interesting talk on the 27th of August with Maitri and Hudson. It will be groundbreaking for the enneagram. Some hidden information about the enneagram will become wide available
Tom, could you ever do a video addressing how a lot of people think the enneagram is occultic? I’ve never understood this because my understanding is no one knows the exact origin of the enneagram. Thanks! Love all your videos !
Got hit with that yesterday, the lady was adamant that it was from the devil. She said it came thru automatic writing or channeling which is prohibited in the Old Testament. So my question is then we know how accurate and true the enneagram actually is and what a great tool for helping people understand each other, also brings us closer together and more understanding, to the point that I can actually love everyone knowing that they have different perspectives and that’s ok, actually a good thing because we balance one another… now to the question? That’s from the devil or demons ? In the words of Biden ~ cmon man
@@MrFireman164 yeah, I’ve had a lot of family members who of course like me are people of faith, and they send videos to me claiming a lot of things without any real evidence- it’s all speculation! But why argue with someone who’s already made up their mind ?!?! I honestly want to know that I’m properly informing people too though, because the enneagram has been a real life changing tool for me!!! And my husband!! It’s helped us to really understand each other in ways I don’t think we ever could !
@@jessieg8851 well all I know is the history about the origins are fairly unknown perhaps Tom has studied more about them, however like you when something works and is life changing for the better I tend to go with it and if it comes from some evil being not quite sure what their end game would be for helping us to understand each other better. I grew up in a family where if it wasn’t in the Bible it was likely wrong, Jesus said it, I believe it and that settles it mentality, as a got older I started questioning my beliefs and that’s not something you do in my family, but I’m a “why” person and want to know how and why things work the way they do. Finding the enneagram helps me to know why people think the way they do for sure.
I'm new to it, but I'd say it may give more depth to your understanding of yourself and other people. Because, you know, we might have more than one kind of trauma and coping mechanisms...
If anyone calls this "boxing" then they're just straight up wrong. Only thing this does is *simplify our understanding of people,* heck people even date based on their type... Why? : Okay, let's simply use math to disprove the *boxing.* Just with wings we have 18 personalities instead of 16 with MBTI. Wings (18) × variants (3) = just like that we have *54 unique personalities.* With variant "stacking (sx/sp, so/sp, etc) we have 18 × 6 = *108 personalities.* Not to metion combining your 5 personalities and MBTI with Enneagram. Moral alignemnt, socionics and generally finding out about or testing other parts of your personality too. Everyone has different cognitive functions in MBTI (I am an INFP that uses Ti a lot for example, I mistyped as INTP actually but I am Fi dom). I don't even want to calculate how many *thousands of unique personalities you can calculate.* And that's another reason to not believe in "the one" 😆
You're frustrated people don't want to be put into boxes through Enneagram, BUT you're frustrated being put into a box as Enneagram Guy ;-) Pardon my 5 energy...
Hi tom i m enver. Might you know i send a connection from linkedin. Brcause i wanna get in touch w you to communucate about enneagram and theology. If you accept i want to talk w you to get to know (deeper) about corelation between beliefs morals and types. Hope you will se :)
No a test may help you discover the type you have always been most inclined towards. It's always best to read all the types to truly accept which type you relate to.
Tests are flawed and biased. It would e better to learn about the enneagram to decide which type you/they resonate more with. And by resonate I am not saying the one you want to be, but the one that reflects who you are (how you feel think and act) the best. I didn't take a test. I educated myself about the 9 types and their core fear, issues, coping mechanisms ect. It was obvious to me wich type I am. Even the wing was obvious to see as soon as I understood the system.
Review those who use the word of God to show origins of the enneagram ,….knowing wiring helps a lot ….but it too can pull us on ego off the word and the path of suffering Jesus lived exemplified ….and not too many coaches are really on spiritual journey…just saying …
This is how I feel about MBTI too! People dismiss me all the time for it!!! But I see it as a tool or cheat code to level up & grow!! You’ll see the pros & cons / strengths & weaknesses of your MBTI & Enneagram & you can chose the traits you wanna get rid of or train yourself to work on it… But people don’t care…
Facts!! 🕺🕺🕺
Sad. Because this is exactly WHY those tools exist. Better understanding yourself, growing, and better understanding others.
I don't see it as putting them in boxes. It helps you understand their mindset and help push them to better levels of health. I agree with Solomon about being smart. Thank you for sharing!
It's just so good to talk and listen to our flaws; That's what I like in the enneagram. It's just so refreshing for a 3.
I get when people are concerned to be put in boxes. I also understand where you are coming from, Dr. Tom, saying we are already in boxes. We may have to be careful so typing people based on a short interaction or brief observation. Even people themselves assign the wrong Enneagram number to themselves. My sister thought she is a 4 but after an extensive test she is type 7. When reading the 7 personality traits she said they resonate more with her than typ 4’s. So if we assign Enneagram types to other people (incorrectly) we may fall for confirmation bias, only seeing traits of the type we think they are. It’s important to keep an open mind. Now when we type correctly the Enneagram is a very powerful tool to understand ourselves better and your videos are excellent source to do so. Thank you.
What bothers me about the Enneagram: how it all seems to fit so perfectly, each type sitting next to the right ones on each side, and the paths of growth making a nice symmetrical shape... And it all _works_ somehow. In some way, it has managed to perfectly encode a lot of patterns within my family and no, this isn't confirmation bias, this just fits snuggly and nicely. Mindblowing.
What I cherish from the Enneagram: so I'm a Four. I have, to quote something you said in a different video, "oversized emotions", and this need to release them into the wind and maybe impact someone, ideally in a positive manner (I spent a lot of time being a stressed Two, so I care a lot about helping and uplifting others). Yet... This wasn't exactly appreciated by a lot of people. I was told many times that I'm too sensitive, too thin-skinned, too emotional, too open with my feelings, "you're not the only one who has problems", etc.
I spent my entire life taking in the message that there's something deeply wrong about me, that I'm annoying, I'm a pest and nobody wants me around (unless I shut up, be nice and blend in), and trying and failing to correct that through therapy and whatnot... And then along came the Enneagram and said to me "there's nothing inherently bad about your personality. It's just one type amongst many!". That was incredibly validating. I can accept myself for who I am now. Do I need to work on improving myself? Of course! Something else the Enneagram taught me is that not everyone is a Four, so not everyone is that overemotional and they may truly just not be able to understand my emotional landslides, so just knowing my type is not going to make me any less irritating haha, and I need to work on redirecting my energy in a different direction. But I can do that from a baseline of self-love instead of self-hatred.
Just my 2c.
I love your videos so much, I’ve taken so many notes from your content and learned an incredible amount about being a 5. when I took the enneagram quiz I was also very closely a type 1. I don’t necessarily see myself as just type 5, because I also see a lot of type 1, type 4, and type 6. I have watched all your “help for type ___” videos and honestly learned something from every video. I don’t know if you agree, but it has helped me to address different types I feel I have in myself instead of just saying I am type 5 alone :)
Enjoyed and watched your video's for years. You have helped me be a better, higher version of my enneagram. You enneagram 7, is amazing. Your joy of adventure helps all.
100% on point. Almost all my family members don't want to hear anything about the Enneagram and I just want to help them understand how unhealthy they are.. it's frustrating indeed! Keep up the good and passionate work Tom
@Transplanted1 Nice. Especially for a 5 it's nice to know that he was even interested to begin with. It's funny you say this because one of my bros is a 5 and he's at the deepest unhealthy state he can possibly be, and there's nothing I can do about it. My parents have their heads in the sand thinking it's "just a phase" but FFS he's 30 years old still living in the basement... has never had a job (barely) nor any friends or girlfriend. Like nothing. I tried numerous times to reach out in different ways but all in vain.
This was refreshing to hear an enneagram coach talk about what bothers them about it.
This was fantastic! I have enjoyed having you as my coach on RUclips and even having a one on one coaching session with you. Life-changing!
As with any interest/passion, what bothers me is... gatekeeping. E.g., I've been into heavy metal since the early 90's, but I don't care if someone wearing a band's shirt can "name three songs". Kinda like you said, I might talk with them and see if I can get them interested in the music, but if they just want to wear a shirt (or a label, whatever), *shrug* much bigger problems in life than "posers" or whatever. In my experience, a so-called johnny-come-lately poser usually either quickly loses interest *or* they're not really a johnny-come-lately poser, but rather people calling them that are being close-minded about what it means to identify with something. Teachers can and should be students themselves. (Not directed at you ;) ) Gatekeeping usually just assuages egos.
Hi Tom! Been following you for a while now. I’ve had my own ups and downs with the enneagram too. Excited to watch this video!
This was one if your BEST videos!! Thx for this!!
As a social 7, I study the enneagram to know who will appreciate my macabre sense of humor at a funeral…😂😂😂
Oooh! I see "The Enneagram Guy" is on the porch of his beachfront property today!
I LIKE your 7ness!...and ENFPs too. Their sense of fun tends to rub off on me, and that tends to be a good thing for my own 5ness :)
The enneagram is just a way of seeing the coping mechanisms we form in our infancy based on our perspective of external factors that become “who we are” until we choose to change.
Those coping mechanisms will remain in our sub conscious and be our first “go to” unless we stay aware and reprogram consistently.
Biblically, to me, this is the self Paul says does every day, the “natural man”,
It shows one how their personal choices in life were often due to, and then reinforced, these coping mechanisms. By the grace of God we can all subdue this perspective and see through His eyes
So funny -- right around 8:57 (reminding yourself not to be your 7-self. I do this too -- I'm a 6 with 7 wing, ugh -- 6!!) Love this video :)
Thank you for creating and sharing!
That was excellent Tom. Someday I’d like to know more about if 4’s tend to be narcissistic. From what I’ve discovered, narcissistic personality disorder is a “thing” on its own. Disabuse me…..
INFP lovin on Dr. Tom 😃
When they say "You're the enneagram guy" ... that's the real "Boxing" :)
Great Video Tom. Super relatable :)
Look at Keys to the enneagram Tom. There Will be a very interesting talk on the 27th of August with Maitri and Hudson. It will be groundbreaking for the enneagram. Some hidden information about the enneagram will become wide available
Tom, could you ever do a video addressing how a lot of people think the enneagram is occultic? I’ve never understood this because my understanding is no one knows the exact origin of the enneagram. Thanks! Love all your videos !
Got hit with that yesterday, the lady was adamant that it was from the devil. She said it came thru automatic writing or channeling which is prohibited in the Old Testament. So my question is then we know how accurate and true the enneagram actually is and what a great tool for helping people understand each other, also brings us closer together and more understanding, to the point that I can actually love everyone knowing that they have different perspectives and that’s ok, actually a good thing because we balance one another… now to the question? That’s from the devil or demons ? In the words of Biden ~ cmon man
@@MrFireman164 yeah, I’ve had a lot of family members who of course like me are people of faith, and they send videos to me claiming a lot of things without any real evidence- it’s all speculation! But why argue with someone who’s already made up their mind ?!?! I honestly want to know that I’m properly informing people too though, because the enneagram has been a real life changing tool for me!!! And my husband!! It’s helped us to really understand each other in ways I don’t think we ever could !
@@jessieg8851 well all I know is the history about the origins are fairly unknown perhaps Tom has studied more about them, however like you when something works and is life changing for the better I tend to go with it and if it comes from some evil being not quite sure what their end game would be for helping us to understand each other better. I grew up in a family where if it wasn’t in the Bible it was likely wrong, Jesus said it, I believe it and that settles it mentality, as a got older I started questioning my beliefs and that’s not something you do in my family, but I’m a “why” person and want to know how and why things work the way they do. Finding the enneagram helps me to know why people think the way they do for sure.
They aren't completely wrong, though.
@@timefortee you are completely right
Could you maybe do a video on enneagram and drug addiction?
Is tritype of any use beyond just regular enneagram?
I'm new to it, but I'd say it may give more depth to your understanding of yourself and other people.
Because, you know, we might have more than one kind of trauma and coping mechanisms...
Doreen venture Has a lot of videos that would be enlightening if your going to critique the real reason why not to follow
Perhaps its accuracy....🤣🤩😁😉🤭😏👏👏👏👀🤪
If anyone calls this "boxing" then they're just straight up wrong. Only thing this does is *simplify our understanding of people,* heck people even date based on their type...
Why? :
Okay, let's simply use math to disprove the *boxing.* Just with wings we have 18 personalities instead of 16 with MBTI.
Wings (18) × variants (3) = just like that we have *54 unique personalities.* With variant "stacking (sx/sp, so/sp, etc) we have 18 × 6 = *108 personalities.*
Not to metion combining your 5 personalities and MBTI with Enneagram. Moral alignemnt, socionics and generally finding out about or testing other parts of your personality too.
Everyone has different cognitive functions in MBTI (I am an INFP that uses Ti a lot for example, I mistyped as INTP actually but I am Fi dom).
I don't even want to calculate how many *thousands of unique personalities you can calculate.* And that's another reason to not believe in "the one" 😆
Did I hear right, Tom said he is ENFP?
You're frustrated people don't want to be put into boxes through Enneagram, BUT you're frustrated being put into a box as
Enneagram Guy ;-) Pardon my 5 energy...
Hi tom i m enver. Might you know i send a connection from linkedin. Brcause i wanna get in touch w you to communucate about enneagram and theology. If you accept i want to talk w you to get to know (deeper) about corelation between beliefs morals and types. Hope you will se :)
Don’t people decide their enneagram number based on the test you take?
No a test may help you discover the type you have always been most inclined towards. It's always best to read all the types to truly accept which type you relate to.
Tests are flawed and biased. It would e better to learn about the enneagram to decide which type you/they resonate more with. And by resonate I am not saying the one you want to be, but the one that reflects who you are (how you feel think and act) the best.
I didn't take a test. I educated myself about the 9 types and their core fear, issues, coping mechanisms ect. It was obvious to me wich type I am. Even the wing was obvious to see as soon as I understood the system.
Love your videos! But the camera is too close up in this one 😂😂 How it normally is is great, go back to that 😂😂
Nvrmnd I liked this close up too. Both are good. 😂
Why living a real life needs to be that hard? To always be aware and act in the opposite direction of our desires? I'm tired!!
Review those who use the word of God to show origins of the enneagram ,….knowing wiring helps a lot ….but it too can pull us on ego off the word and the path of suffering Jesus lived exemplified ….and not too many coaches are really on spiritual journey…just saying …