How do I detach from people?
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- Опубликовано: 22 апр 2015
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Detaching from social media and everyone and things that drain me is a good thing to recharge , I know my worth
I am happy & proud of you sweetie
Same!
Its hard when you have attachment issues. I love getting close to people but then i tell myself the relationship / friendship won't last and i push away. Unless I'm really interested and attached (romantically) feel like I'm obsessed and that's hard too. I care too much and have to control my thoughts and actions.
I felt this
same
Same girl same
this hit hard
My therapist taught me to remember to be kinder to myself and I kind of _taught_ myself this idea, "Ok I need to start being my own _parent_".. which helps me through this process of detachment. I still need to learn about myself and my relationships with myself, then people. It requires a lot of patience, definitely. When it comes to patience, DBT / mindfulness helps a lot. It reminds me about life as a journey.
Thanks Kati for posting videos for all of us!
That mommy issue question is so good! I think I'm always looking for a mother figure everywhere I go and it's exhausting. my ex therapist looked like mom and it was weird but in a good way because she gave me the care and protection I needed. Thanks for this video.
I have bpd and have severe attachment issues because my mom disowned me for being gay. I have been looking for a mother figure for a long time.
Listening to you makes my anxiety go away so fast. If I'm overthinking or feeling anxious I just see your videos and they calm me down . Thank you!
This is actually so very sad! 😓😢😭people should all be attached to eachother and have healthy relationships. No man's an island. We are social creatures by nature. We are put here to love and be there for eachother not detach and become distant and aloof. And here I am searching to become detached but Only because of all the hurt! 😓😢😭
I think it's so amazing that everybody here is so inspiring. All of the people here are so brave for reaching out/sharing stories about there personal exsperances. Anybody any age anytime can comment how they feel and get a burst of help from a community of people ❤️ Keep up the amazing work Kati x
This is honestly my favorite video- all of it completely applies to me. Very helpful. I also think the journal topic at the end is so lovely....made me cry a little. I have been watching for a long time Katie.0, think you seem so lovely and that you are doing an AMAIZING thing with your life. I hope you continue to enjoy it every day.
I really loved this video. Not only the information and the DBT recommendation but how you shared and talked about the quote at the end. Kind of a little therapy there for all of us. Thanks Kati!
Oh.my.god. U are so so amazing. Your videos always seem to come at just the right point and when I need them the most. Thank u, u help so much and help me understand myself a bit more. And wow ur teeth are amazingly white especially as u haven't whitened them!!!
The attachment question really makes sense to me. I don't know or understand whats wrong with me because I get so attached I become suicidal and don't eat when I can't talk to them or have to leave them (i.e. leave the place i see them- work). I have never found anyone with this problem before and I don't know what's wrong with me. I booked an appointment to see my uni counselor tomorrow and if they can't help then I don't want to live. Too many feelings right now.
These questions were so great! I can totoally relate to them all. Thanks very much for answering them Katie, helped me a bit.
That’s great advice (particularly the first question/answer). Very healthy and sound. Thank you.
I absolutely love the poem, amazing.
I have that book, and it's great! I have Borderline Personality Disorder as well as bipolar type 2, and that book definitely helped me. It's still a struggle, but thanks to therapy and medication, I'm doing much better than I have in the last few years. Not that long ago, I felt so down and depressed. I was surrounded by such a black cloud that I lost all hope of ever getting out of it. I had given up on myself. But I finally found the right therapist and the right psychiatrist, who helped me out of that void. I still have work to do, and I need to stop clinging to people that are not healthy for me, but my doctors are helping me to reach that point.
you provided clarity in this video for me. thank you!
wow Kati, once again another amazing and truly helpful video. I especially appreciated question two and felt the persons question you were answering was so relatable to me. Thank you for all you do :)
I use that book in my practice. It is absolutely amazing. I would recommend it for anyone.
My favourite journal topic! ❤️
thank you so much Kati !you helped me a lot...i was emotional and verbally abused.
This was so helpful! - I was told the psychologist who diagnosed me with bpd to get that book so I already have it but I never even realised all my unhealthy attachments are to do with not being able to regulate my emotions :)
I have to leave, because I am stuck in an endless loop, that results from being within a bunch of people who are choice superior to me,
so regardless what I do I will always remain in the shit position, and loose, regardless what I choose to do or say, they will have a better response and overplay me, always..... So I stay stuck and feel paralyzed that's the truth
Love this journal topic. x
Great idea! Let the therapist ask the questions. Don't dump it all them at once.
Thanks to whomever asked that "mummy" issue Q!! Iv asked myself that same thing so many times but never have the guts to ask. Thanks to all of u who ask the questions others are scared to! Its such a blessing! thanks!!! :)
Rebecca Marie twas me :) glad im not alone, yes i cringed a bit when i watched it the first time coz it was my question but seems like its a hot topic and I'm not alone ;)
I feel that I genuinely have sexual and romantic attractions to older women, but I also think I have a mother wound. That doesn't really bode well. In the last few years, I think I've met more lesbians with the same wound and like the same type of women. It's much more normal than I thought and explains a lot of the teacher/professor crushes or even some of these AGR relationships on youtube. Idk. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here for support.
Rachel Geraci this is me 😂
Same
Can we talk?
Rachel Geraci Can I talk with you about this?
I loved the journal topic I am definitely writing it down
This is a super dope channel. Thank you Katie. :)
Wow, those first two questions REALLY helped, especially the second one. I just told my therapist a few weeks ago that that's something I wanted to tackle sometime in the future. Thanks Kati! I'll definitely have to bring this topic up with her soon. :)
I had (still have) an attachment issue with a girl that I liked and that had me wondering, am I really gay, or am I just feeling this way because of a hole that needs to be filled? She made me so happy, made my heart flutter and gave me so much hope, and I fell deeply in love. When I spilled my feelings for her, things were looking up, but not for long. When we couldn't be together at first I had trouble accepting it and got really really hurt when she even mentioned having feelings for anyone other than me, but once it finally sank in I went into a bad episode... I cried for days, I wouldn't eat sometiems (which is a different thing for me cause I usually just binge) and I scratched my arms until they were swollen and red and bloody... I kept feeling that life couldn't go on if we weren't together. I was suicidal. I knew these thoughts were bad and harmful, and it made me feel even worse knowing that, and not being able to control my feelings. I felt like a wretched human being while at the same time feeling so hurt by her, and kept going from sad to angry to sad again.
But for a while, this hole that I had in me was filled, and I was happier than I'd ever been in my life (excluding med changes) but when I couldn't be with her I felt like that happiness was literally ripped from me. I felt like a part of myself was stolen. I still don't fully understand why, but it still has me questioning my orientation, especially since something quite similar happened when I was only 7 years old, to a girl I loved (and even kissed! but she didn't love me back and things went haywire because I didn't even know it was so frowned upon where I live... let's just say I dealt with a LOT as a child, emotional abuse, manipulation and neglect and also bullying and being singled out by teachers, and being a kid with Aspergers this was all really hard for me...)
Kati, thank you for all you do for us. You'll never know how much your help is appreciated.
Can you tell me why after a full nights sleep, I still wake up feeling like I need 8 more hours of sleep? I'm tired all the time. I've been like this my whole life. My mom is like this as well. We are healthy etc. of course we both have depression.
Thank you.
Love your videos!!!
Soooooo weird that you did this video today! I was writing about attachment and filling that hole in my journal last night and was going to bring it up with my therapist next week. I totally get where they're coming from!
I am gay (ugh labels but for the sake of simplicity) but I also get attached to older women because of growing up with an abusive mum. Now that I'm in recovery and going to therapy and figuring out my past and my feelings and all that stuff, I can understand it a lot more. Plus just experience over time I guess. But I remember when I was younger being SO confused all the time over trying to figure out whether I actually liked someone or just felt attached to them as a mother figure. It's super confusing. I would always get "crushes" on teachers or coaches or basically any older woman who was nice to me. And at the time I was like.. wait, not only am I messed up for being gay but I ALSO like women waaay too old for me?! It made me feel so bad about myself.
But once I accepted my relationship with my mother for what it was, I started seeing the difference. And although the feelings were strong, when I made myself think about it I realised they weren't romantic feelings because I basically just wanted their care or support. But it is surprising how hard it can be to learn the difference because the attachment can be super strong. But the more you work on healing whatever reasons you have for that longing for a mother figure, the easier it becomes. Now I just call them "mum crushes" and roll my eyes at myself. :p
Emma Wicks hey! omg this is so relieving to hear you say this! you got it in one!!!!!!!! 'mum crushes' hahhaah i love it!!! it is just so confusing isn't it! i dont think it helps because i only get attached to 'attractive' women - i figured out this could just be the 'miss honey' type lady in the film - matillda - you know young and pretty and with that comes rescue! i think it is defiantly a 'mum crush' BUT i also find them attractive aghhhhh! man this gets confusing, its like going round and round in a loop! but primarily the attachments are just mum crushes however with the confusion of my sexuality and confusion of who i am it just gets...CONFUSING! This is defiantly something i will talk about with my psychologist. (it was me who asked the first 2 questions!)
Caroline Wilhelmsen Yup, it is really confusing! But I promise it gets easier with time, the more you get to know yourself and understand those feelings. Don't beat yourself up over it! You don't have to have it all figured out yet. But talking to someone about it will definitely help you figure it all out. I came out 12 years ago so I know my sexuality super well AND I'm in a committed relationship at the moment but even now I can sometimes get confused by this kind of attachment. What helps me the most is literally just asking myself would I want to DATE this person? Like can I actually see me going out, dating them, kissing them etc? Usually that makes me realise I'm just having a mum crush. :p But I completely understand how confusing and hard it can be. You're not alone. xoxo
Thanks for answering my question Kati! Im going to bring it up next time i see my therapist so hopefully the pattern can change and stuff can actually look up :)
Wow. Makes sense. Since its you that has the attachment issue so it makes sense that you’d deal with that within yourself. You make things makes sense.
The poem is my guide wow!!
thanks katie
I love that poem you read by KL. Also It can be really tempting to attach to someone who is wealthy, attractive & helpful in making money. If that person was abused by their mother, emotionally negative or not aware your feelings--RUN. If they don't acknowledge when you say the behavior is hurtful it means that the person that hurt them never acknowldeged it when that person asked them to change. If they are repeating the pattern on you they don't realize there is a problem and they have not done the work on themselves. If they don't realize they are the problem it is going to be extremely painful for you the longer you stay in that relationship. Build on a strong foundation. It is better to trust that God will bring the right person to your life. We have to make decisions on people that will treat us with fairness & respect.
#KatiFAQ is infatuation different from emotional attachment? and if so what are the differences? and how can i stop the constant thoughts and obsessing?
thank you!
Attachments are difficult. None of mine are healthy. I get attached to professionals (like my care co-ordinator and therapist) when these relationships come to an end I crash then end up with someone new - it's like a vicious cycle I'm stuck in. Currently going through something called cognitive analytical therapy after completing 2 rounds of CBT too. It's a nightmare.
I've only just come across your videos Kati but they are pretty helpful if I do say so myself! :D
they ripped me out of my math science lane, and sold me you have to change, your purpose your true purpose is somewhere else, follow your heart and your intuition, you have been doing all wrong for years, you need to change and adapt to US
We are the right people we know what is best for you what we do is the right thing you are all wrong about what you do
You need to change, you have been in the wrong field forever, your education is useless you need to do different things and change........
And what did they do?
Nothing a shit fuck they did, they continued their lane isolated me a nd trashed meover the years for I was helpless
so in reality I merely designed a Life where I think that I am disconnected from folks but in reality I am like chained up and tucked to a fence like Jesus on a cross only that I don't get it?
How blind am I in reality??!??
Hi Katie ihave been watching your vidio you are giving good advice and helping lots of people thank you very much also your nice looking lady ok
Ok, I fall into the category of each one you said. I was adopted, emotional, physical, sexual abuse and no one was emotionally available for me. I struggle with it every day.
Question 3 resonated with me
I can relate to the journal topic pretty well. I graduated last semester with a degree in psychology. I have had such a hard time finding a job that my degree can be good use for, but nearly every company wants someone with years of experience. I've gotten to the point were I just needed a job, so yesterday I had to settle for a hostess job at a restaurant. It's sucks having a minimum wage job when I have a degree, but it doesn't mean I have to stay there forever. I guess it's just where I need to be right now.
That happened to me too about 7 years ago. I stuck with a grocery store and now make good money. It's hard to know exactly what you want to do. If you figure out what you really want to do go back to school. Also don't define yourself by your job. I know that's hard to do. If you can truly find out who you are it will be easier to find out what you want to do with your life.
on time = everything arrives to the right time in our lives
i really like this video
I have BPD and got that book because you recomended it, and I LOVE it! Thank you!
I've got to remember to come back to this video and write down the letter you read at the end.
This video popped up on my home page right when I needed to see it. My previous therapist of two years filled the void my emotionally unavailable mother left, but even after that realization, I couldn't help but feel attracted to her. I truly think it's possible to be into someone romantically even if the purpose of the relationship is to heal childhood wounds. They are not mutually exclusive!!!!
Thanks Katy last video for the night Welcome! Night.
Wow wow! I identify with the attachment thing. I never thought about trying to figure out what role the person is filling. Very eye opening!
This video popped up again……. Attachment is something that I’m trying to figure out ALOT right now. Attraction, attachment stuff, emotions…… oh my!
Trying to figure out this hole in trying to fill
thanks! want to know when close people treat you with indifference how do we respond? do we too behave indifferent?
I had this problem, but had transference issues with my actual therapist. I am very much aware and comfortable with my sexuality and identify as a lesbian. But I also lost my mother at a really young age so for me it wad a mix of her being extremely gorgeous and also her being so incredibly caring and motherly. But as akward as it was I talked to her about it and it made me feel much better:)
I watched this on 1.25* , Very clear :)
I've had a relationship with a person for roughly eight years. We've been back and forth over the years between being friends, and having our moments where we are not friends (and during those moments, it's because I've chosen to end the friendship). This person is very unhealthy for me on various levels. But there was always something that would bring me back to them. I've recently realized that it was the availability factor and that they could relate to my more challenging mental health struggles. And that's what kept me going back, especially when I felt alone.
This person was verbally and emotionally abusive and definitely rude when it came to anything relating to eating disorders and women.
As hard as it can be at times to separate from people, for ones own sanity, it's a necessity. I took the step (again) yesterday, to break ties with this individual. Looking back, it wasn't done in a manner that I feel proud of, but my goal was accomplished...
The DBT book is a great book... I've had experience with dialectical behavioral therapy and find the tools helpful, when used. Recognizing emotions and identifying feelings and then taking action if necessary (and using the techniques in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness) are incredibly helpful.
I think a big problem is most people can't afford Therapy and that is why we come here on youtube.
I appreciate your help on youtube where can I get the book
With my therapist I recognized what I was feeling but never brought it up. I don’t see her. Can’t afford it. I do miss her. As a person. That’s rare.
I have two questions. One is did you take the video down you put up today? And is anxiety and panic attacks the same thing?
Lol at when u say "mum" hehe xx
I definitely have attachment issues but I was never lacking attention or love from either of my parents. If anything my mum would be over-bearing. The only reason I can think of is that my dad's best friend since childhood who we regarded as an important part of our family and someone who we would see all the time, just cut us out of his life when he met his wife. He was really important to me. Could this be a reason or am I just a really weird person? :/ :(
not really
I had a pretty severe case of Adopted child syndrome until just recently. I allowed people to use and abuse me, as part of an unnatural desire to not only be pleasing, but actually I studied people around me so close I could anticipate their needs, and desires as or right before they even knew themselves. And I got amazing at it ! However it is very expensive, time consuming, and energy zapping. Thankfully after a recent shocking experience whilst overseas in Feb. and literally a worldwide backlash from said event I'm proud to say I am rapidly unwinding 48 years of a perfected mental illness. One other thing I wanted to comment on was therapists. I have tried many and only one /back in 1983/ actually got through some sort of useful information. Sadly the ones in recent years have either over promised something they could not deliver, were obsessed with certain conditions in one case none of which I had, or in several cases, within a few weeks I ended up becoming their therapist. While some find it cute to be showered with compliments, examples , WOW you are so articulate for your condition, or you are able to express yourself in such a clear way, or you intimidate me, you have had such an amazing life, you should be sitting in my seat. Those real life examples have actually happened to me. In my case I do not go to therapy to collect complements, and I've come to discover that so many people treat the mentally ill like they are stupid, including those in the field. There is a vast difference between being stupid and being crazy. Thanks for the video I enjoyed it.
Hi Kati, so I'm just wondering, I've struggled with attachment to people, particularly adult women in my life but the thing is I'm unsure of why. Both of my parents are alive and well, and they honestly do care a lot about me. Other than some issues with communication I don't think my parents have done anything that would cause me to look for another mother figure, yet I always find myself doing so. My mom and I are close, and I struggle to tell her the truth because I always feel like I'm hurting her and the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her, and when I was hospitalized and saw her upset I immediately perked up and tried to be happy just so she'd stop being upset. I just don't understand what's causing all of this. Sorry for spilling my guts, and thank you for sharing such amazing videos.
Della Alexandra Just wanted to tell you that I feel the same as you and don't understand it at all.
It's just so confusing and frustrating because I feel guilty for looking for another mother figure because I don't want to hurt or abandon my mom but I just always find myself doing so no matter what
+Della Alexandra omg I know it's been 10 months since you posted - and I completely relate! Any advances on this or do you still feel this way?? 😭😭
I mean I still feel this way and it can be really difficult, especially because having left my last therapist I ended up having to let go of a really strong attachment I've formed and months later I still find myself upset when I think about it. And I don't have any professional advice on the matter, but the thing that has worked for me has honestly been to invest myself in the relationships I have with people my own age and with my family members and older brothers. I could be wrong, but I think that the struggle relates to the fact that I never had an older sister. My brothers are great, but they weren't always. They were mean to me when I was a kid and I always felt like they got along because they were both boys and being the only girl I didn't have someone who would side with me or defend me. So I find myself latching on to older women (but still women who are relatively young, generally in their 30s) because I want that person to talk about girly stuff with and who can give me advice as a fellow girl. I don't think this is always the case, because obviously not every girl without a sister goes through this, but I think particularly because my brothers got along so well with each other and treated me so badly when we were young that I found myself craving that meaningful sisterly relationship. So I'd suggest holding on to the relationships and friendships you have, and remind yourself that you don't necessarily need to have that bond with someone older, as long as you're able to form bonds with other people.
I know that I wanted a sensible mother and I find that I am drawn to smart, attractive women such as professors at university, however, I don't want to know them outside of a professional environment where I feel safe. My mother was beautiful so that is not the issue. I just wish she could have given me more support intellectually.
#katiFAQ okay, so you possibly understand where this hole (that you try to fill by having attachments to older women- in my case teachers) has come from, but what then? Im not currently in therapt but know my relationship with my parents is very distant and i cant see us getting any closer (Infact im sort of repulsed by the idea..). What am i meant to do now? Its not like i can just be like "dude MUM! you emotionally abandoned me!". How am i meant to get around this- do i just learn to deal with it and grow up by myself? Regulating my emotions doesnt change the fact that im alone and for some reason neither does talking to other people. I may know where this hole came from, but whats the point if i dont know how to fill it? What on earth does one do with piece of information
i really have this attachment issues and idk if its an attachment disorder like you mentioned on this video , any link for further explanation?
But how can i possibly figure this all out
Girl I had to play this at .5 speed and pause it to see what book that was LOL.
#KatiFAQ Kati, the last question in your 'how I detach from people' video made me think about the fact that I am able to talk to my therapist about things that happened in the past; however, I am not capable about talking about things happening in the present, such as cutting. She knows I used to cut but not that I am still cutting. I feel like I could never say 'I relapsed' etc and I am not quite sure why. Is this common and how do you move on from it?
Where can we ask questions for the FAQ?
What if you have an issue that you have not brought up in therapy. So let's say you have been working on a trauma but things are in getting better, in fact they are getting worse. Could it be because you are not talking about the other trauma? I know in therapy things get worse before they get better, but it has been almost a year. I am thinking about bringing in the other trauma but will that make things worse or are things bad because I haven't talked about it?
Hey Kati, I got a question too. So in my country you get 6 sessions to get to know your therapist and also for the diagnostic part. Soon these sessions will be over and my therapist is already talking about what we will do during "real" therapy and how she thinks I really need it.
But I think I don't need to. A lot of people in my school sometimes talk about the same feelings I have too and how they are tired all the time too and all this stuff. So I think I might actually be just a regular teenager with stupid teenage problems and not - as my therapist thinks - need to go into therapy because I sometimes self harm and might have depression (which I don't really think I have).
Next time I see her I want to tell her that I don't really want to start an actual therapy but I'm not sure if I should.
Can you help me out please?
Hey,
Can you either make a video about this or just answer me?
So I have gad and social anxiety. My social anxiety is getting really bad and I'm really struggling. I want to ask my parents to get me help but I don't want to disappoint them because they only know about my gad and they think I'm fine now.
And also how can someone with social anxiety open up at therapy. I went for five sessions and never said one thing about my anxiety. Just mostly said that I didn't know and once I just started laughing. Thanks so much for the help!
What is your view on friends with benefits if you have past sexual trauma? And could it be to do with BPD?
Wooooah, I do want these teeth strips,too. Your teeth do look very white in a very beautiful way.
Thanks for having answered this/my question :-)
*****
Hi beautiful ;-) Thanks for telling me the brand u used a while ago. Unfortunatelly I don't life in ur country, so we don't have this brand. BUt I'm sure our other brand will work as well. Thanks again and try to have a lovely day. *hugs*
What about attachments to a love partner ? What is everything you can answer about this ? Ty :)
Hi I just found your channel and felt so identified with this video. I became attached to my best friend and she thought I was in love with her and I was at my worst bc I was having a really bad depression at that moment and she totally got rid of me she just abandoned me even though I was about to commit suicide. Now I'm trying to detach from her by the harsh way and I think it will hurt forever, I am doing much better, it's been 2 months. I think I saw her as a mom figure bc I never looked at her romantically but I'm still trying to understand why I got so attached to her. I would love if anyone could help me or give me any opinion on what should I do. Pardon my English, greetings from Mexico.
NancyVillagrana Hola Nancy espero que estás mejor!
#KatiFAQ I just started seeing a therapist for the first time and her degree is LCSW. I'd never heard of that before and can you please explain the difference between a LCSW and MFT?
I've been detaching from an older woman that was kinda like a mom. Problem is that she oversteps my boundaries ... pointing at a neighbors house and talking about them while pointing. She gossips a lot and that bothers me a lot. This person is the epitome of negative and it's huge actual events that take place at a rental property she owns... I've been not close the last 2 weeks.
I have the same problem. I love my guitar teacher but I don't know if I love him in a romantic/sexual way or if I love him as a parental figure. I grew up with physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive parents. I don't know if I just want him to protect and comfort me since I never was as a child
Give yourself protection, comfort and self-love then if you are still attract to him, it won't be because you're missing something Take good care and love that six strings!
I'm having trouble detaching from My old Counselor and forming an working relationship with My new counselor! :(
Hi, I was wondering if because you have borderline personality disorder, do you have to have attachment issues..? I've been diagnosed for a few years, and last week my therapist mentioned that I'm 'too attached to services' and it's made me question myself a lot because I wouldn't have thought I get too attached, if anything it takes me a while to trust people, but that's about it. Does this mean I don't have BPD? Can you have BPD without major attachment problems? I'm so confused. Thank you. x
#katiFAQ I really need your help. A year ago my therapist of 2 1/2 years left and last May I was switched to a new one in the same office but the new therapist left. I didn't want a new therapist so I followed her to her own practice and i regret it. She has cancelled so many times on me and my last appointment was supposed to be the first week of April.. But I texted her after waiting outside of her office for a few minutes and she texted me that she was in traffic so she canceled. The next day I texted her asking to reschedule... She didn't respond so I texted her a week later and she said she's not in the office and when she is she will contact me... I just texted her today about scheduling and she said she forgot. I haven't seen her in a month and he continued to " forget" to text back or didn't see the text. How do you forget about a client? Kati is it bad that I want to switch therapist? This isn't the first time this has happened once I was waiting to see her and waited an hour only to find out she was somewhere else and forgot to tell me she wouldn't be there. How do I go about this?
How can I totally detach from mom, all relatives? So much pain. How can I free my mind from them? My mom is a narcassist and has treated me very badly. I don't talk to her. Please help.
***** I am a master level student in Cyprus studying counseling psychology I got a internship placement in America I would like to ask that when filling the application visa form should I apply as a student or what exactly thanks.
Hi Kati, Please please can you do a video on munchausen syndrome? I asked ages ago and I think you said you would probably do a video on it, but you haven't yet. Thank you
I'm the opposite. I meet a therapist/counselor and as soon as I'm in the room I sit awkwardly, don't say anything and stare at the ground trying to make myself as small as possible. It makes it harder to talk, it's not just therapists sometimes teachers, friends or family. However I have a new therapist since it didn't work out with my counselor because I didn't trust her and was too scared to say I wanted to see someone else but this one I trust, for now at least and I'm looking forward to seeing her for the 4th time. It's rare for me to trust someone this quickly (less then a month or two) but I suppose it isn't bad. As for the attachment, I have this one teacher who is extremely nice and she's helped me so much. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her and last year when she had to go on maternity leave it completely messed up my life, because she was always there for me even though I'd push her away because I didn't want to both her. The fact that I knew she was there even if I didn't want to talk helped me. I saw her the other week and she gave me a hug which means things are OK, there was some tension between us before she left because I was struggling but this year will be better and I will improve.
#katifaq hi kati! I love your videos, I had a quick question. I am a sophomore in college and lately my friends have told me that when I get too drunk or "black out" I get really angry and mean. I was just wondering what could cause us to be angry drunks and how to best address the problem if in general when we are sober we are usually carefree and very kind to everyone. Thanks so much
Just file your thoughts that is what i have done for years.
#KatiFAQ I was in a clinic for my OCD a while back for a long time and got really close to the staff and my psychologist & psychiatrist. I've had the psychologist & psychiatrist for about 2 years now and we have such great relationships. My problem is, I'm moving soon and I'll have to get new doctors. I have no idea how to cope with this since I have never gotten so close to doctors and had to leave them. Kati, how do I deal with this? Also, I'm upset about leaving the area because I like to visit with the staff and they give me a lot of inspiration to keep working hard and they're still a support group to me, even if we don't work together anymore. How can I deal with not having this support group of old staff and doctors?
Other viewers advice would be greatly appreciated as well! :) And if there is a video on this, please link it to me!
By the way Kati, thank you so much for your DBT workbook recommendation, I've been thinking of getting a DBT workbook because my psychologist wants me to do DBT, but I don't want to go to a new therapy for it. My biggest issue was how to find the right one lol! But you just told me! Thanks Kati!
Hi I know this might be a stupid question I was wondering was there a way I could talk with u? I've never met such a sweet and understanding therapist. I need help I need to talk bout what's going on in my head. I keep screwing up all my relationship with people and myself! And I can't afford that mental health thing where u can talk to a therapist I'm sorry I can't remember the name. I just need some help. I'm sorry thanks
do you have to have bpd to do dbt?
Tried
7 times to catch title and author of book. It went by way too fast.
Can you just give it to me please.
Is it unusual to have two therapist at the same time with different specialties?
I have trouble expressing my anger, today i lost it, cos for a while this really nasty person at work got to me. I had tried to tell her to stop staring etc and other stuff going on but she still continued. So i hope everyone can understand why i lost it, im usually quite easy going and im very friendly. He supervisor then came over to show me a picture of the incredible hulk saying he painted them and sold them. I really think this was a big dig at me and i dont think its very professional at all. A guy has been in this job only 3 weeks has left, ive only been there a month and i dont think im going to last either.
I can't seem to detach from my dad's memory. I wasn't allowed to be really mad at him when he was alive and I feel like he ruined my life being so negative about my dreams. I can't seem to forgive him so I'm always "realizing" anew that my parents were abusive. I want to get past it and live now.
you should
One of issues I have is people show me mixed signals. Someone told me you feel people are showing you mixed signals it means they don’t see you the way you see them. This can be students from school teachers or other staff. In some cases there relatives. I feel as if everyone I have rapport with I can be friends with. These people are nice to me, they the extra mile but when I contact them to meet them they don’t respond. I get attached to some staff or faculty because they talk to me as if I am there child I wonder is this normal send me an email
#Faq ?? My best friend died in Nov and now I've been attack by her ex bf and another of her friends because I unfriended them on fb(social anxiety issues and we never talked) and because I moved on and don't care that she died. I don't post constantly about how sad I am over her dying like they do. I don't blow up her old phone with texts. I don't message her parents all the time. So therefore, I'm an awful person? I don't mourn right? They must be the Grief Police.
#KatiFAQ Can I be happy and sad. It's like everyday I put on a fake smile and it's confusing because I have lost the ability to "tell" wether I am actualy happy or pretending I am.. Xx p.s I love your videos and so many times you have saved my life. Whenever I'm sad I can just watch your videos x
Your teeth probably look so white because the background is off white
(not to say your teeth aren't white) because they are :) Thanks Kati for all you do!! You matter so much to all of us too!!! luv you!!!
Hi, Kati, what if the attachment is with my psychologist?
The worst part is that she moved to a different State and I can’t stop crying because I miss her so much. I’m now seeing another psychologist in the same office but I don’t know if I should tell her how I feel. Please help.
Laura Delgadillo ruclips.net/video/lx9tlkvmrSw/видео.html 💜