Holy shit josh. This entire series is the deepest, most intense, realest thing I’ve ever been privy to. I feel so privileged to have gotten to watch your tell this entire series. Thank you for doing it. You have no idea the ripple effect you’ve created just by sharing it all. I cried the entirety of every episode. All my life, I’ve desperately wanted for ANYONE to listen to my life story. And wanted so desperately for everyone in my family before me to tell theirs on camera too, so that all of us could watch, add, and just have it forever. I never did any of that. I’m really going to start making the moves. This Is so amazing, truly.
I can’t stop crying. You are an amazing story teller and human being. Thankyou for trusting us and being comfortable and healed enough to tell your story. Not many people would so easily do this. You have come so so far and it’s truly inspiring. I’m only 23, had a fairly similar life and am now digging myself out of poverty for my kids and it’s so so hard because that’s all I’ve ever known. It’s amazing to know it’s doable. I can do it because you did it.
My mom is dying of lung cancer as we speak. We're in the last few months for sure. I am crying so much I can barely see the screen. Thank you for your story, Josh. You're an amazing human.
May you be surrounded by love as you walk this journey Sarah, my mom died 3 yrs ago of lung cancer and I was her caregiver. Toughest days of my life, BUT looking back I am SO thankful for all those talks we shared that last 6 months of her life! Your in my prayers and will think of you often!
@@jodylane8640 Yes, I agree with what you said about being thankful for all those talks...I have really grown closer to my mom over the last few years and I feel a strong bond with her now.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I know it's a year later but I hope your family has been able to work through the grief and heal as much as possible. My dad is currently dying of bladder cancer and he's definitely coming towards the end and it's very difficult to deal with, for everyone. I'm only 5 minutes in to the video so I haven't reached that portion of the story yet, but I know that's going to hit me probably the most out of his entire journey he's shared
My husband died from lung cancer, and just like that, I was a widow at 56. It was only 4 months from diagnosis to death. It is a devastating disease. And you’re right, when your Mom dies, you feel like an orphan no matter how many people are in your life. Being motherless is hard in so many ways.❤️
@@Maria-he3vw I can’t imagine,life without my mom. She chose my stepdad over us but that bond ya know!? No matter what I love my mom. I’m so sorry for your loss 😢
@@JessieLee_ thank you. It has hit me hard my birthday was April 30th then mother's day then her birthday is May 20th and her death day is June 4th (it will be 2 years. And my child's bday is June 5th. So every time my child turns a year older I think of my mom dying right before. It's a weird place to be mentally. But chugging along the best I can for my kids. Thanks for this comment sorry I told you my whole life story.
@@Maria-he3vw Hold onto the wonderful memories, especially funny things. My siblings and I, when we get together, often will exchange one of our Dad's quotes or funny behaviors. My mother is almost 92 and has just recently slowed down and seems to be going down hill. I just spent Mother's Day with her and the next day took her out to do a couple errands. I think of her dying often and I want to let her know how much I love her and to remember that she was a loving, funny, wonderful mom!
I feel like I just watched a 5 hour movie and lived a whole life as a fly on the wall following you around throughout everything after watching your life story series. Thank you for sharing that with us and being vulnerable. So many of us can relate. We have no idea what people have went through. The fact that someone just passing by in the grocery store or driving on the street next to us have lived a whole life we know nothing about is wild to me. It makes me want to know more about people and be even that much more respectful because they probably have alot of hurt as well. Great channel! It makes the snarking even more understanding.
I watched my husband take his last breath when cancer took him. He was 46 and looked like he was 80 years old in his last year of life. Those images are seared in my brain now. I also took a picture of his hands, remembering how strong, vibrant and charismatic he once was. I’m busy being a mom raising our kids now as a mom and dad. Thank you for all that you are doing Josh, I enjoyed your story.
I’m sitting here listening to you tell how your mom asked you to forgive her. Having just lost my mum, I would have given anything to have had that with my own. I was there in her last days but nothing. I’m so glad you had that Josh. You have a beautiful family
Throughout telling your story, you have never seemed angry or resentful of your mum, you’ve just presented the facts. Not everyone would be able to tell your story with so much grace.
Josh I cried my eyes out - my mom had breast cancer twice, a brain aneurysm and then finally when she n my dad moved in with me my ex husband and our girls - she was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer (not spread from breast cancer but a whole new primary cancer) I was there when she found out in the ER and the whole journey, she was very active, beautiful woman, full of energy even after her other medical issues, then went from 56 to 90 in less then 11 months, had to bathe, feed her and diapers…it was absolutely heartbreaking. I also cried while holding her hand when she passed. I’m sorry you had to see cancer destroy your mom. 😢 I know for my mom she said if anyone ever has to feed her etc she doesn’t want to live so to this day I can’t get over it. It’s absolutely devastating 😢 thanks for being so open, vulnerable and sharing ❤
I never comment on videos but I’m in tears watching the end of this video. I found your channel from one of your snark videos of RUclips moms, then watched your ex-pastor series and lastly your life story. You can see the hand of God covering you all along your life and putting key people along the way to remind you of that. What a beautiful family you have formed. Truly a gift. I’m so happy you got to mend your relationship with your mom. Lastly I want to say, God isn’t done with you yet. Keep that fire lit at home 🤍
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Very touching, you are having a positive affect on peoples lives by what your sharing here. I think God is using you to remind people it’s never to late. Doesn’t matter what’s happened in the past, we can change our now. 😊
I found your channel from your Dougherty Dozen content. I have just finished your life story, and wow, I honestly feel like I was led to watch. I needed to watch it. Thank you for being so vulnerable, and for sharing your story. I am currently trying to work through some trauma myself, and previously used food to cope. I had gastric bypass surgery 6 months ago. I have noticed I have recently been introducing slider foods and using it to stuff my feelings. I needed the reminder to put in the work, both physically and mentally. Again, thank you for this, and for all you do calling out child exploitation.
I watched the whole series, and I laughed and cried with you Josh! I'm so glad your Mom was able to make amends with you! Cancer Sucks! I watch my Dad and my husband lose their battle to it. My only saving grace in them both is they went quick, so they didn't have to suffer for years! My dad had pancreatic cancer and passed away within 8 mos of finding it. And my husband had esophageal cancer and passed within 4 mos of finding it. He was only 46 yrs old! Its been 8 yrs since I lost him. And 12 for my dad! I miss them both so much!
I am very sorry for your losses. I also lost my dad to cancer, & the first few years after losing him were really tough, so I understand what you've gone through & I am sorry. Sending you love & healing light❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️
This made me so emotional. It really touched my heart and soul. I have so much respect for you and your wife, the values you hold, the person you became, the work you do. Your mindset through all this is very inspirational. I will turn 30 next year and am really interested to somehow document my own story since there are also parts that I am not certain about and that could be interesting to dive into. Thanks for (re)sharing your story!!
I lost my mother September 30 2016 from stage 4 lung cancer. I am so glad that you got to her before she lost the ability to tell you she loved you. Regardless of the past she was able to tell you that. My mother sadly forgot who I was as her did spread to her brain and kidneys. She couldn't remember me but thankfully she remembered my daughter who she shared a birthday with. I love your channel and your story. Stay who you are. Whether she was a bad mom or whatever she helped to form who you are today and I am thankful for that.
I just spent the whole day watching your series and even being a little younger, you brought me back to what it was like being a kid in the 90s, the way we would be out playing in the streets, ive had most every song on your playlists, growing up in Southern Cali music was a huge part of my life and then hearing about losing your mom and everything that went with that, I lost my Dad in 2022. I didn't get to have my last goodbye. I just appreciate all these videos, had me crying but so happy for you and your accomplishments! Now back to your snark. My husband and I always have your videos on, thank you for doing what you do ❤️
Josh, I’m glad you got that closure before your mom died and that her last words to you were that she loves you. It’s so important because it’s the last memory that you have of her. It’s hard when someone we love dies, especially a parent. I don’t know either of my parents because I grew up in foster care, but I have lost pets that meant everything to me, my first and only boyfriend (who was also the father of my daughter) when I was young and my daughter that was born with a terminal illness. You do have a beautiful family and despite the past, I believe God has great things in store for you and that your mom is looking down on you, so proud of the man, friend, husband and father you have become. You fight for kids on your channel and you do an amazing job. You’re an amazing person. Keep doing what you do! We all support you here.
Josh, thank you for being so raw and vulnerable. I know you didn't have to do this but I feel like we're all a lot closer to you now. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect all that matters is the amends was made and the last memories and words from her were something you'll always have with you. Love ya man
“THERE’S ALWAYS REDEMPTION” yes!!!!!!! I love this Josh! You’re absolutely amazing and inspiring! Thank you for sharing your beautifully messy story! You are loved by so many people in this world ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh man, I guess I needed that cry. Thank you for sharing your story. I've been through the "sleeve" too, but am still struggling. I also lost both parents...that orphan feeling hurts to your core. After feeling that way so long it did become the catalyst for me adopting children as a single parent. I knew if I could feel like an orphan at 25, then kiddos who had never had a parent needed that love. Many blessings to you and your family!
I was in my twenties when my mum called me and just said "I'm sorry. I did the best I could with the information I had." and all I could held against her was gone. Instantly. She's still alive and we have a good relationship ever since. Thank you for sharing your story.
Crying watching this. I lost my mom last year from cancer. Like you said, no matter what your relationship is to your mother, you only have one mom and loosing them is so hard. You are a wonderful person Josh ❤️
Closure is something many don't get. Bless her for coming clean. My mom passed on Thanksgiving and I was more angry than anything. She took all the answers I needed.
I went through the exact same things when my Grandma passed away of lung cancer. The drama in the family is still going on 2 years later and is not what I expected to happen. When I walked into the hospice, even after seeing her daily, she had declined and I was shocked at her appearance. I had a picture of her in my head and it took my breath away. I talked to her every day several times per day and I have never been the same since she's gone. I have never felt more alone and my family has all gone their separate ways. I knew she was done with this life though and I accepted her being ready to go.
I am literally sobbing right now Josh! I took care of my mom the last 3 years of her life. I had the same kind of childhood as you,my mom never apologized to me. But after therapy, I learned that my mom wasn't capable of apologizing. She was a broken person from the time my parents divorced and probably before then. But I have forgiven her, I reconnected with my younger sister that my mother kind of pitted us against each other. My baby sister died Nov 2nd of last year from kidney failure, before she died she knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. We prayed together and I told her when she got to heaven to tell mom I loved her and go find my precious daughter and tell her how much I miss her beautiful smile and those big beautiful blue eyes. I loved her so very much! 💔
I have been watching your videos for 3 years and this one made me cry so hard! I grew up just like you. My mom is still alive but very sadly gone mentally. Thank you so much for sharing!
I grew up in the "system " here in the USA. I had the best parents ever. They are still in my life to this day and I am in my 30's. One of the very best things they taught me about growing up in the "system" is to love your birth parents as they are. We all make bad decisions. It doesnt always mean we are a bad person. Josh your story has really gone to my heart. I can relate to so much of it. Thank you for sharing. You are brave.
Josh... I've been watching your channel for a while, I've watched your videos of your journey of leaving the church. I've heard you talk here and there about your life when you were young, things you went through. I just now finished this video, watched all 5.... this one was my favorite. The rawness you showed when talking about your mom was very special to see. As someone who lost a mom to cancer when she was 49, we found out on her birthday that she had cancer and she passed three weeks later. I was 27, married with two small children, life hadn't prepared me to lose my mom. It has now been 27 years since I lost her, still makes me cry just thinking about her. I felt your pain you shared. I just wanted to say thank you. ❤
Feeding my 5 month old sobbinggggg! It hit me when you said that when you haven't seen someone in a while and then they get sick, it's awful to see. Seeing someone you love and care about lose everything and become a skeleton because of cancer, there's no words. I hadn't seen my grandpa in a few years and when I got to see him after he had cancer, he was a different person. Its heart breaking.
This video autoplayed after one of your snark videos... Im sitting here holding my 3 month old baby girl, bawling my eyes out with you.. im going to go see my parents. I respect you so so much. Thank you for what you do and what you share with us, you give me hope.
This is the only kind of situation where I support forgiving parental abuse and neglect. You clearly needed to do that in order to heal and become the man you are today.
I just lost my mom from lung cancer and much like yours my relationship was damaged with my mom from alot of the same things and I felt it in my soul when you said for the first time in my life I was alone 😭 I still feel that way ! Not only did I loose my mom this January but I lost my husband last January and it’s so hard ! This moved me so much Josh thank you so much for sharing ❤
I am laying in my bed with my husband bawling my eyes out listening to your story. You have such a big heart. You are seen. You are heard. You are valued.
When you said your heart broke because you cousins skate with your daughter, it really got to me. I cannot believe the struggles you have gone through in your life! I am glad you are where you are today. It’s encouraging to see.
Why am I sitting here balling my eyes out right with you Josh. Your story resigns yes with me because my mom also had cancer twice. And she was always so tough on us growing up. I remember times when she wasn’t so nice but I feel like I can relate on so many levels. She was a loving mom but man she had her tough times too. Thank you for sharing your story Josh and for being vulnerable, I pray the haterz don’t pick your story apart because I know this took a lot for you to share with us
If it’s truly toxic, it’s ok to never speak with parents again. If you’ve told them what you went through at their hands, and all you get is a narcissistic gas lit response, it’s ok to write them off and just get some dogs. That’s unconditional love. Amen. I’m sorry for your loss, Josh, and happy your relationship mended before mom moved on. Bless.
@the dad challenge podcast....I hope u see this. I've been watching you for years but have never seen THIS video for some reason. My grandmother passed away a month ago (she practically raised me) and I desperately needed this video right now. By the grace of God it came at the perfect time. My grandmother also had a dnr that my family and I had to discuss signing w my grandfather. It was the hardest and closest death has ever touched me. I've improved myself over over the years and have a great relationship with my oldest daughter who recently moved out and had her first baby, but this video reminds me both of my grandmother's death, and my own inevitable death. I wasn't always the BEST mom but I love my kids unconditionally. I can only imagine how much my grandmother loved us. I've bawled the entire video and even sent parts to my daughter. The subject of death is very raw right now but SO important to process. As an imperfect mother myself, know that your mother loved you unconditionally...
Thank you for sharing your life story with us! All the feels while watching. Although we have very different life stories and I'm 33 no kids, not married (bf of 14 years though) etc this story touched me. The one thing we have in common is that our moms both died of lung cancer. I was 19, mom had just turned 50 on Christmas of 2008 and passed away on February 7th of 2009. We only knew for 3.5 weeks about her cancer- it spread to her brain and she lost her short battle. She did one chemo treatment (didn't even want to do that) but wanted to show myself, older sister and younger brother to never give up. Mom said to me "I love you honey and you will be okay" she was a single mom and the only parent I had ever known or needed. She was the very best mom and I miss her so much 💜 she never did give up but like your mom had a dnr bracelet put on. Hugs to you Josh!! I truly do enjoy your channel and what you are trying to do!!
Listening to your story makes me grateful that my childhood was consistent. My mom is constantly reminded by my brothers about how much she didn't do for us when we were growing up. It wasn't until I found God that I realized she did the best she could with the cards she had been dealt. We didn't have a comfortable life but we lived in the same home all of our childhood. We went to good schools and got a very good education. We learned to be independent while my mom worked most of the day. It wasn't a hard life by any means. Their were moments of struggle but my mom wasn't a terrible parent. Being a parent isn't easy and being a single parent is a challenge. It kinda breaks my heart that my mom gave all she had to take care of us and my brothers basically are telling her, "but that wasn't enough".
Hi Josh I have just watched your story I have cried with you my mum passed of cancer in October 2023 she was my best friend and the strongest woman in my life I’m so glad you and your mum made peace with each other god bless you xx
I just lost my mother a day before Mother’s Day what you wrote for her touched my heart in such a way that I’m in tears. I remember taking a picture of her and my hand. I wish I can hold her hand one more time. Thank you for your story.
Thanks for sharing Josh. It was hard for me to listen about your mom without crying. I laid in a hospital bed holding onto my sister when she died from stage 4 pancreatic cancer at age 28. She was my best friend. It’s now been 12 years and when I talk about it takes me right back to that day. They gave her some medicine to calm her and ease her pain and I remember seeing her struggle and I whispered it’s ok it’s ok we love you and it’s ok as she took her last breath. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I was 23 years old - she was 28. Just me and her no other siblings. I know that lost feeling you were talking about after loosing your mom. I’m so glad you were able to be there for your mama and say goodbye. I’m sure she knew how much you loved her.
So amazing that your mom found the Lord and accepted Him in her life and you got the apology you needed and she got the forgiveness she needed. Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable and personal part of your life. I loved the poem you wrote. I have always loved my mom's hands since I was a little girl, so it reminded me of her.
I binged listening to your life story I liked you before, but I like you even better now ! you’re an amazing man. You give a lot of comfort and I know what you mean about the talking out or making a video of it. I did Storyworth and had a book published. I did my whole life and it was very cathartic for me and if nobody else reads it, I read it over and over, you’re an amazing man especially your advocacy for getting rid of these family bloggers. These people who are putting their families and their kids out there for the almighty dollar as you can see a lot of the families are now disintegrating because of it. We all have a past,thank you for sharing your life with us and I’ve been listening to you for a couple of years and feel so much closer to you. You are a good man your mom would be proud of you❤️
I subscribed to your channel about a year ago. You’re my favorite channel now. I just watched this series for the first time and I’ve bawled my eyes out. The love you have for your wife and family is beautiful. I pray I find someone like you. God bless you all.
I’m not crying, you’re crying! Oh man! That was simply put, the BEST way to start my day! I’ve recently lost both of my parents and a sister. Death is rough. Death is rough whether you had a good relationship or a bad one. You hit the mail on the head over and over and I’m so thankful that there was both forgiveness and acceptance. That’s huge and often doesn’t happen. I LOVED what you wrote when your mom passed and feel thankful that you shared it with us. Thank for all you do, Josh, you are very gifted but shit, you already know that! 🤣
Wow. I’m crying with you while watching this. You are an amazing person & an incredible storyteller. Thank you for sharing your life story with us. And, Josh, you are not a bully, you are an empath. I truly believe that.
Just watched this for the first time now after my moms recent cancer diagnosis... thank you for sharing your story about your mom. I also am living far away dealing with this new season of life and it’s gut wrenching. Comfort is knowing I’m not alone in how I feel. Love your work Josh.
Oh my gosh, I’m sobbing. What an incredible telling of your life, and your last moments with your mother. Thank you for sharing all this. I feel so inspired and moved to be more reflective, gracious, resilient, and grateful because of this story. And I’m going to hug my family tomorrow immediately. Thank you, Josh. 🥲
You have a way with words and it just hits right in the feels. Thank you for sharing your story Josh. May your momma continue to rest in peace. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, we talk a little here and there but she's still my mom. She may not have been the best mom to me and my brother, she did a lot of shitty stuff in her life but I will always love her. I forgive my mom for not always being there for me when I needed her most, I had to grow up faster than intended but I wouldn't be the person and mom I am today. My dad is my rock and stepped up when my mom didn't and I don't know what I would do without that man, he is the best dad and papaw and father in law to my husband that anyone could ask for. He goes above and beyond even when I didn't deserve it. I became an addict at 17 years old to mask those feelings of hurt, anger and sadness my mom "caused" and never told my dad until I got sober 10 years ago and he has always been by my side no matter how shitty I was to him and I am so gr
Oh Josh... i can't stop crying. I seriously can't. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for your heart ache. Your story is amazing in so many ways. It has touched me so deep. I'm in awe of what you have done and of who you have become, from not letting your past define you to your weight loss... and everything in between, you're an inspiration. I know your mom is proud of you. She knows who you have become. She knows it Josh and she's proud of you. I'm so glad she was able to say it to you and I'm so glad you and her had redemption. (I always apologize for my english because I know i'm not using the correct words so I hope I was able to at least come close to what I wanted to say) Thank you for sharing your story to us and for be vulnerable in front of us. That's a brave thing to do. From Costa Rica I send you lots of love ...
Thank you for telling us your story. I found you through Jordan and McKay and wasn’t too sure what I had found but then figured out you were a fellow Canadian and fell down the rabbit hole of family vloggers. Hanks you for telling us your story and showing us how much of an impact some people can make on someone’s life along the way. That’s the thing that’s really struck me about your story...the people along the at who put out a helping hand. It’s a good reminder to me.
Omg Josh! I have been listening to these videos while I’m meant to be sleeping, but my body hates me and doesn’t let me sleep. This morning was this video and it’s now 6.30 am and I cannot stop crying. The relationship between you and your mum is so similar to mine and my fathers. It’s something I have buried for so many years, but it’s such a raw subject. I’m so pleased you were able to be with her. Both my dog and cat have come to see me ba use I’m crying too 🤗 thanks for sharing your story.
I came here to hear about your weight loss journey since I had the sleeve also. I live in the USA so I didn’t have the Tijuana journey, boy that was gutsy and scary. When that story ended I continued on with your mom story. The hand picture got to me although I can’t relate to your childhood story. I had a wonderful upbringing and parents. I, too, watched my father take his last breath… for 12 hours, from cancer. The actual last moments were exactly as you described and it never leaves you. My mother passed from dementia in a nursing home. I had previously cared for her in my home for 10 years. She wasn’t suppose to die yet, my family went on vacation. I got “the call” to get home fast. First flight from FL, delayed due to a storm, missed my connection, slept in Miami airport alone, got first flight out back to PA. Arrived at airport, rented a car for a 4 hour drive. One hour before I arrived I stopped for 5 mins for a bathroom break and as I started the car to continue on, I felt I was too late. One hour away. As approaching the nursing home, a bible versus came on the radio (and I wasn’t listening to a religious station at all). I thought “oh God, I am too late”. It was appropriate, about it being ok and it was time to go. I pulled up to the home, ran in, up the elevator where I stepped off and my brother was right there. He was watching for me. He said “she’s gone, she left an hour ago”. I cared for her for 10 years, my 24 hr journey home and she died at the 23rd hour. The nursing home waited until I got there before her body was taken. I was broken. I wish I had taken a picture of me holding her hand. My nephew did that when he lost his mom suddenly and we all did the Walk of Life to the OR where her organs would be donated. It’s such a beautiful picture. I wish I had one of me holding my dad’s hand. He, unfortunately, was already transitioning when I arrived at the hospital and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him but at least I was there when he passed and I hope he knew. My mom, I pray she didn’t wonder “where is my daughter, why are only my sons here”. I tried, I tried so hard, but I hit so many obstacles trying to get home. Delayed flight, missed connection, next flight the following morning, one hour waiting in line just to pick up a rental car (my lost hour to say goodbye was lost there). I will never forget “one hour, missed by one hour to say goodbye”. Thanks for telling your story.
Josh, I just finished watching all 5 parts of your My Life series and when I tell you I laughed, I cried, and I rejoiced. The strength and perseverance you demonstrated throughout your life is so incredibly touching and admirable. You are someone that people can look up to, especially children who feel like they don’t have a voice or there’s no hope. You showed us that there is always hope. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and using your platform to inspire, uplift, & bring awareness. You are awesome! Sincerely, your internet friend from Chicago ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Josh. I, too, lost my mother. She passed away back in 2014. I heard stories about her afterwards that she was always worried about me. She never got the chance to see her grandkids grow up, she never got to see me get married, so many things missed. Your story has touched me like I didn't think it would. I'm bawling like a big baby over here.
I'm crying with gratitude for you. I'm so happy you shared this. I just called my mom. As sad as this is it is just as beautiful. Thank you for your vulnerability.
You brought back the day I sat with my Mum the day she died. We just about always lived together and it was her and I against the world lol. She was my best friend and from that day my life was never as happy as when she was there. Now I’m getting older and I’m alone, I haven’t seen my nieces and nephews for years, not angst or anything, I think I’m just forgettable. I wish I could still work because that made it easier. Thanks for your story Josh.
It’s two years since you filmed this and it still brings me to tears. I remember feeling the same way as you did watching my mum taking her last breaths after she too was done with fighting cancer for 3 years. I remember my mum too sitting down and apologising to me in the few weeks before she passed. She was a great mum, she wasn’t perfect: but she did the best she knew how to and how to cope while battling her own demons. My dad was there but he was never really a dad and I remember waking up the next day after she passed away and feeling so alone. Because the one person I wanted to talk to about how sad I felt was her. It has been 10 years since she passed and I still miss her. I get angry sometimes realising how much my kids have missed out on because she was taken too soon. They never got to meet her and it breaks my heart ❤
I have been watching your older video series and this one right her really touched my heart! Although my mom was a great mother to me and my siblings, we too had to watch her pass in a somewhat similar way and I could feel your pain in this video. The poem really resonated with me…God took my garbage life and he still loved me….many prayers.
I have experienced being alone now for 11 years. My ex left in 2011 and my 3 kids followed. My dad left my life along with my 2 brothers. My mom passed away in 2014 at age 68. She was my best friend and was sick my whole life. My dog died in 2015. It has been 11 years with no Christmas, no family and no love. I wonder why this is happening and I have not got an answer. My 3 adult children are no longer in my life and I am so very sad. Thank you for sharing your story.
Oh my gosh. You talking about your mom was so touching and heartbreaking. I lost my dad 7 years ago and know how hard it is to lose a parent. Thank you for sharing your story, I enjoyed all five parts of it.
8 yrs out of surgery - I still can’t eat sugar without getting sick , I’ve never had a soda since either. It’s amazing how little food we actually need . I used to eat an entire box of pasta and a load of garlic bread- now less than a 1/2 c of pasta and I’m TOTALLY full! I LOVE my gastric bypass surgery! It saved my life and I am happier than I’ve ever been. I’m 57 years old and I do yoga every day , ride my bike, I do ALL the things !
I watched my stepdad pass from cancer in under 3 months at the age of 46. Im 48 now and cant imagine how that must have felt to know your dying at such a young age. I had a conversation with him and thanked him for saving my mom and my sister and I . He saved us from an abuser who beat my mom and molested me. I am so grateful that i was able to say those things to let him know he had been an amazing man in his short time on this earth. He passed 23 years ago and its always a hole that cant be filled. God bless you Josh Barbour you are an amazing soul!
I can’t stop crying. It’s amazing what you’ve done with your life. Especially after what you went through as a kid. I’m so glad you got to have closure with your Mom. I know you don’t want pity but I’m so incredibly sorry for the way so many people failed you when you needed them. But I’m so glad that you want to help others now because of what you went through. It’s so clear and easy to tell why you are so passionate about these children that are being exploited. God Bless you!
When you go through these things as a child you really do think your the only one it's so lonely even when reaching out for help and your let down you do just think its normal or that's all your worth in life and its really not. Trauma really can direct your whole future even if you don't realise. Thankyou for sharing your story it can help so many people in so many ways just crying for you I realised I was crying for myself aswell I have blocked out my childhood bar a few memories as it was so bad my brain just doesn't want to deal but they are all there underneath and have formed my life now how I have parented how I react to situations and I cannot say its all been in good ways . I'm so glad you got to see your mum really did love you she just didn't know how to express it correctly ❤
Josh thank you for telling your story and helping all of us realize we aren’t done yet we can still make it down the road. Right after Christmas 2019 my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and we fought it and it almost killed her because of reactions to the chemo drugs, but she’s still here and I completely understand your thought of being alone after you lost your Mom because I feel that way after watching my Mom fight this disease for the past 4 years and having lost my Dad (biological) at 9 years old and my sibling not coming around us and living their own life. It terrifies me to think about.
Josh my heart broke hearing this 💔 I'm so sorry for your loss but so happy you had those hard conversations that was her making you aware that she always loved you and that she knew she failed in ways but as we grow we learn parents are human and humans are flawed. Much love xx
This is so therapeutic. I just got into your channel and I watched all 5 parts and thank you so much. My grandma (who pretty much raised me) died of cancer and I remember how old she looked at the end. I'm just so glad I got to say goodbye. Thank you again for this.
I listened to all 5 parts. Thanks for sharing your story as I know it will help people. You really changed your family tree. As a teacher we have had professional training on ACES (adverse childhood experiences). ACES are linked to chronic health problems many of which you experienced. You are now on the other side and sharing your story gives hope to others. As a teacher I try to make a positive impact daily in the lives of the students I teach. As you stated you don’t always know if you are successful in reaching students but kids are worth it.
The part about your mom got me. I felt every word. I went through a lot of similar things with my mom growing up. She was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2019, and before she passed May 22, 2020, she had the same conversation with me and apologized for all of the hurt she caused me. It helped heal a lot of my trauma. My mom was a complete mess and pain in my ass, but she was my best friend and I loved her more than anything. I’m so sorry you lost your momma to cancer too. It’s not easy at all. It still feels like yesterday that I lost my mom, but it’s almost been two years. I took a picture of my mom’s hand in mine. I love the picture you took of your mom’s hand and what you wrote. I watched my mom take her last breath too, and your right, it’s something you can never unsee and will always remember. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, Josh! You are such an amazing man, and you are such a light in this world.
I'm so sorry. It's so hard watching someone you love suffer from cancer. The heartbreak is hard, but the love and memories will always pull you through
I lost my mom on Friday, February 13, 1998. 8 months after I got married a few weeks before my 23rd birthday. Cancer stole her from us. She had a carcinoms of unknown primary, along with 3 small brain tumors. She was diagnosed 6 months before I got married. We sat there for days taking every last breath with her at the hospital. One of the worst experiences to watch. It kills me to know thst my children will have never met my mother. And now 25 years later, I have outlived my mother....
Wow, what a story. So true you love your parents no matter what. Glad you had closer with your mom. I didn’t with my dad. He never said sorry but I still love him.
Thank you so much for sharing Josh. You are the type of pastor I wish I could have. This is real Christianity and showing forgiveness. You are so special.
Hearing you're story just brakes my heart for all the kids that have had hard relationships with their mom/dad. And it makes me feel even more grateful for my parents! Especially the bond I have with my momma! She has always been my best friend and my biggest support! I just found out that I'm pregnant with our second child and I'm praying that my kids will be able to have the best childhood my husband and I can give them! Every kid deserves a happy childhood!!
There's so much I want to say but I don't even know how to put it into words. I hope this all makes sense. My brain is going 1000 mph. I can relate to a lot of this part. There is always a road back though. You are right. When I hit my rock bottom I just hoped every night would be the night it'd all end. I lost my biggest supporter, my Dad, in 2018. He passed away pretty unexpectedly from Glioblastoma. If it wasn't for him dragging me out of the hole I had created I wouldn't have almost 6 years sober. I just wish he could have really seen me get my life back. I'm so thankful to be the mom my son needs and not to miss any of these moments any longer. I also relate to the estranged parents. I'm trying hard to fix that part still. Thank you for sharing your story. You are very inspiring.
You brought me to tears when you read your letter about your mom. I was trying so hard not to cry as I'm watching while I'm getting ready and putting on makeup. That was so beautiful, but I had to turn it off... I'll watch the rest later! Thank you for sharing such an intimate story!
Boy Josh you were not kidding about needing a tissue. I used half a box. This was so therapeutic for me. Thank you everyone for the very kind comments. Josh thank you. I really needed to here those comments
@@thedcp thanks Josh that really means a lot to me. I tell my kids multiple times a day that I love them. I probably say it too much. I just don't want my kids to ever feel the way I do.
The part of your story with your mom was like what I went through. My mom smoked since she was 14 and had quit just before my sister was born. 15 years later she got lung cancer and battled it for 3 years. It spread to her brain before it claimed her life. I was called by my aunt to get in a plane, but I didn't make it in time. She was such a warm and welcoming person who adopted people. She was the center of our world. She got to walk me down the aisle the year she died. But she never saw my brother and sister get married and she has never seen her grandchildren. It was such a loss and I empathize with you. I really enjoy your channel. Thank you for what you do.
I’m in absolute tears, it hit me so hard when you talked about your mom taking her last breath because I too watched my father take his last breath, he had skin cancer and I lived with him and watched him waste away every single day. It was the absolute most horrible thing to see. I’m sorry for everything you have been though , my heart goes out to you!. I’m so glad to see you have a happy life with a great family!
Your poem about your Mom had me crying. 😢 You are such an amazing human being. God bless you, Josh. So glad that she gave her life to Jesus before she passed away.
The fact you chose to always love your mum regardless and make space and time for her in your life, definitely contributed to her being able to apologise to you, and for you guys to heal. Shows how love and compassion is always the way to healing, rather than hate x
Hi Josh my daughter andI love your channel ! Listening to your journey was eye opening. You're truly amazing from your experiences good and bad look how far you have come! I always say that money isn't everything its whats in your heart and your up bringing and experiences that make you what you are. You're children and wife are lucky to have you!! You're channel has really changed my way of thinking about many situations and put whats most important first next to watching your channel of course haha! You always make me smile and laugh . RUclips has created a good platform for you to spread your love for life and family ! I wish there were more amazing guys like you to set an example of you can do anything just believe and love yourself and the rest will follow. Thanks again for opening up and sharing some of your most personal experiences I believe that this will help others to know they're not alone and to help them find a way out. God bless your family and know that you have truly changed peoples lives !! Greetings from Dubai!!!!!
CRYING!!!! 😭 My husband and I both are sitting here crying with you. What an impactful and inspiring story for you to tell and you told it beautifully. Thank you for telling it. So much love to you and your family, Josh.
*Crying* I have been in the room 3 times when loved ones have died. My aunt, one of my best friends and my dad your right it’s something you never forget it’s burned in my mind forever. But when I lost my dad also to cancer it’s the hardest loss I’ve had to do deal with. He was my best friend, biggest encouragement, always knew what to say to make me feel better no matter the situation, gave me unconditional love. When he died I felt lost and the world felt empty. It’s still hard without him almost 4 years later. You’ve really overcome a lot and it’s amazing.
Holy shit josh. This entire series is the deepest, most intense, realest thing I’ve ever been privy to. I feel so privileged to have gotten to watch your tell this entire series. Thank you for doing it. You have no idea the ripple effect you’ve created just by sharing it all. I cried the entirety of every episode. All my life, I’ve desperately wanted for ANYONE to listen to my life story. And wanted so desperately for everyone in my family before me to tell theirs on camera too, so that all of us could watch, add, and just have it forever. I never did any of that. I’m really going to start making the moves. This Is so amazing, truly.
SAME!
I can’t stop crying. You are an amazing story teller and human being. Thankyou for trusting us and being comfortable and healed enough to tell your story. Not many people would so easily do this. You have come so so far and it’s truly inspiring. I’m only 23, had a fairly similar life and am now digging myself out of poverty for my kids and it’s so so hard because that’s all I’ve ever known. It’s amazing to know it’s doable. I can do it because you did it.
At least your mom was able to acknowledge her mistakes. Some people never do
I can attest to that. I'll never get my apology.
@@stitchlightly5995 same
Very true
True!
If that’s not the fucking truth
My mom is dying of lung cancer as we speak. We're in the last few months for sure. I am crying so much I can barely see the screen. Thank you for your story, Josh. You're an amazing human.
May you be surrounded by love as you walk this journey Sarah, my mom died 3 yrs ago of lung cancer and I was her caregiver. Toughest days of my life, BUT looking back I am SO thankful for all those talks we shared that last 6 months of her life! Your in my prayers and will think of you often!
oh dear I am so very sorry you have to experience this Sarah. Just hold her hand and tell you she is a great mom and you love her.
@@jodylane8640 Yes, I agree with what you said about being thankful for all those talks...I have really grown closer to my mom over the last few years and I feel a strong bond with her now.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I know it's a year later but I hope your family has been able to work through the grief and heal as much as possible. My dad is currently dying of bladder cancer and he's definitely coming towards the end and it's very difficult to deal with, for everyone. I'm only 5 minutes in to the video so I haven't reached that portion of the story yet, but I know that's going to hit me probably the most out of his entire journey he's shared
♥
My husband died from lung cancer, and just like that, I was a widow at 56. It was only 4 months from diagnosis to death. It is a devastating disease. And you’re right, when your Mom dies, you feel like an orphan no matter how many people are in your life. Being motherless is hard in so many ways.❤️
This is so true being with out a mother is so hard.
I’m so sorry for your losses 💔
@@Maria-he3vw I can’t imagine,life without my mom. She chose my stepdad over us but that bond ya know!? No matter what I love my mom. I’m so sorry for your loss 😢
@@JessieLee_ thank you. It has hit me hard my birthday was April 30th then mother's day then her birthday is May 20th and her death day is June 4th (it will be 2 years. And my child's bday is June 5th. So every time my child turns a year older I think of my mom dying right before. It's a weird place to be mentally. But chugging along the best I can for my kids. Thanks for this comment sorry I told you my whole life story.
@@Maria-he3vw Hold onto the wonderful memories, especially funny things. My siblings and I, when we get together, often will exchange one of our Dad's quotes or funny behaviors. My mother is almost 92 and has just recently slowed down and seems to be going down hill. I just spent Mother's Day with her and the next day took her out to do a couple errands. I think of her dying often and I want to let her know how much I love her and to remember that she was a loving, funny, wonderful mom!
I feel like I just watched a 5 hour movie and lived a whole life as a fly on the wall following you around throughout everything after watching your life story series. Thank you for sharing that with us and being vulnerable. So many of us can relate. We have no idea what people have went through. The fact that someone just passing by in the grocery store or driving on the street next to us have lived a whole life we know nothing about is wild to me. It makes me want to know more about people and be even that much more respectful because they probably have alot of hurt as well. Great channel! It makes the snarking even more understanding.
I watched my husband take his last breath when cancer took him. He was 46 and looked like he was 80 years old in his last year of life. Those images are seared in my brain now. I also took a picture of his hands, remembering how strong, vibrant and charismatic he once was. I’m busy being a mom raising our kids now as a mom and dad. Thank you for all that you are doing Josh, I enjoyed your story.
So sorry for your loss must be hard losing your life partner bringing your kids up. God bless you and your family xx from Scotland xx
So sorry for your loss and I only wish you the best.
I’m sitting here listening to you tell how your mom asked you to forgive her. Having just lost my mum, I would have given anything to have had that with my own. I was there in her last days but nothing. I’m so glad you had that Josh. You have a beautiful family
❤
Throughout telling your story, you have never seemed angry or resentful of your mum, you’ve just presented the facts. Not everyone would be able to tell your story with so much grace.
Josh I cried my eyes out - my mom had breast cancer twice, a brain aneurysm and then finally when she n my dad moved in with me my ex husband and our girls - she was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer (not spread from breast cancer but a whole new primary cancer) I was there when she found out in the ER and the whole journey, she was very active, beautiful woman, full of energy even after her other medical issues, then went from 56 to 90 in less then 11 months, had to bathe, feed her and diapers…it was absolutely heartbreaking. I also cried while holding her hand when she passed. I’m sorry you had to see cancer destroy your mom. 😢 I know for my mom she said if anyone ever has to feed her etc she doesn’t want to live so to this day I can’t get over it. It’s absolutely devastating 😢 thanks for being so open, vulnerable and sharing ❤
I never comment on videos but I’m in tears watching the end of this video. I found your channel from one of your snark videos of RUclips moms, then watched your ex-pastor series and lastly your life story. You can see the hand of God covering you all along your life and putting key people along the way to remind you of that. What a beautiful family you have formed. Truly a gift. I’m so happy you got to mend your relationship with your mom. Lastly I want to say, God isn’t done with you yet. Keep that fire lit at home 🤍
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Very touching, you are having a positive affect on peoples lives by what your sharing here. I think God is using you to remind people it’s never to late. Doesn’t matter what’s happened in the past, we can change our now. 😊
I found your channel from your Dougherty Dozen content. I have just finished your life story, and wow, I honestly feel like I was led to watch. I needed to watch it. Thank you for being so vulnerable, and for sharing your story. I am currently trying to work through some trauma myself, and previously used food to cope. I had gastric bypass surgery 6 months ago. I have noticed I have recently been introducing slider foods and using it to stuff my feelings. I needed the reminder to put in the work, both physically and mentally. Again, thank you for this, and for all you do calling out child exploitation.
If you don't cry watching this I feel sorry for you because it's the most touching story .
I watched the whole series, and I laughed and cried with you Josh! I'm so glad your Mom was able to make amends with you!
Cancer Sucks! I watch my Dad and my husband lose their battle to it. My only saving grace in them both is they went quick, so they didn't have to suffer for years! My dad had pancreatic cancer and passed away within 8 mos of finding it. And my husband had esophageal cancer and passed within 4 mos of finding it. He was only 46 yrs old! Its been 8 yrs since I lost him. And 12 for my dad! I miss them both so much!
I am very sorry for your losses. I also lost my dad to cancer, & the first few years after losing him were really tough, so I understand what you've gone through & I am sorry. Sending you love & healing light❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️
So beautiful. 💕
Your mom is up in heaven laughing at aloha pineapple FOR SURE haha
She totally would laugh at that.
Damn, I didn’t know I would get so emotional. In the past few years, I’ve lost my father to cancer and my mother-in-law. It’s so tough.
This made me so emotional. It really touched my heart and soul. I have so much respect for you and your wife, the values you hold, the person you became, the work you do. Your mindset through all this is very inspirational. I will turn 30 next year and am really interested to somehow document my own story since there are also parts that I am not certain about and that could be interesting to dive into.
Thanks for (re)sharing your story!!
I lost my mother September 30 2016 from stage 4 lung cancer. I am so glad that you got to her before she lost the ability to tell you she loved you. Regardless of the past she was able to tell you that.
My mother sadly forgot who I was as her did spread to her brain and kidneys. She couldn't remember me but thankfully she remembered my daughter who she shared a birthday with. I love your channel and your story. Stay who you are. Whether she was a bad mom or whatever she helped to form who you are today and I am thankful for that.
I just spent the whole day watching your series and even being a little younger, you brought me back to what it was like being a kid in the 90s, the way we would be out playing in the streets, ive had most every song on your playlists, growing up in Southern Cali music was a huge part of my life and then hearing about losing your mom and everything that went with that, I lost my Dad in 2022. I didn't get to have my last goodbye. I just appreciate all these videos, had me crying but so happy for you and your accomplishments! Now back to your snark. My husband and I always have your videos on, thank you for doing what you do ❤️
Josh, I’m glad you got that closure before your mom died and that her last words to you were that she loves you. It’s so important because it’s the last memory that you have of her. It’s hard when someone we love dies, especially a parent. I don’t know either of my parents because I grew up in foster care, but I have lost pets that meant everything to me, my first and only boyfriend (who was also the father of my daughter) when I was young and my daughter that was born with a terminal illness. You do have a beautiful family and despite the past, I believe God has great things in store for you and that your mom is looking down on you, so proud of the man, friend, husband and father you have become. You fight for kids on your channel and you do an amazing job. You’re an amazing person. Keep doing what you do! We all support you here.
Josh, thank you for being so raw and vulnerable. I know you didn't have to do this but I feel like we're all a lot closer to you now. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect all that matters is the amends was made and the last memories and words from her were something you'll always have with you. Love ya man
“THERE’S ALWAYS REDEMPTION” yes!!!!!!! I love this Josh! You’re absolutely amazing and inspiring! Thank you for sharing your beautifully messy story! You are loved by so many people in this world ❤️❤️❤️❤️
As a mom, this makes me want to do my very best for my babies and never take a moment for granted. ❤
Oh man, I guess I needed that cry. Thank you for sharing your story. I've been through the "sleeve" too, but am still struggling. I also lost both parents...that orphan feeling hurts to your core. After feeling that way so long it did become the catalyst for me adopting children as a single parent. I knew if I could feel like an orphan at 25, then kiddos who had never had a parent needed that love. Many blessings to you and your family!
So amazing to change children’s lives and their destiny 💙
I was in my twenties when my mum called me and just said "I'm sorry. I did the best I could with the information I had." and all I could held against her was gone. Instantly. She's still alive and we have a good relationship ever since. Thank you for sharing your story.
Crying watching this. I lost my mom last year from cancer. Like you said, no matter what your relationship is to your mother, you only have one mom and loosing them is so hard. You are a wonderful person Josh ❤️
Proud of your weight-loss story. My husband has done the same and does NOT miss that machine!!!👍👍
Closure is something many don't get. Bless her for coming clean. My mom passed on Thanksgiving and I was more angry than anything. She took all the answers I needed.
I went through the exact same things when my Grandma passed away of lung cancer. The drama in the family is still going on 2 years later and is not what I expected to happen. When I walked into the hospice, even after seeing her daily, she had declined and I was shocked at her appearance. I had a picture of her in my head and it took my breath away. I talked to her every day several times per day and I have never been the same since she's gone. I have never felt more alone and my family has all gone their separate ways. I knew she was done with this life though and I accepted her being ready to go.
I am literally sobbing right now Josh! I took care of my mom the last 3 years of her life. I had the same kind of childhood as you,my mom never apologized to me. But after therapy, I learned that my mom wasn't capable of apologizing. She was a broken person from the time my parents divorced and probably before then. But I have forgiven her, I reconnected with my younger sister that my mother kind of pitted us against each other. My baby sister died Nov 2nd of last year from kidney failure, before she died she knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. We prayed together and I told her when she got to heaven to tell mom I loved her and go find my precious daughter and tell her how much I miss her beautiful smile and those big beautiful blue eyes. I loved her so very much! 💔
I'm so sorry for all your losses 😥 Hugs 💕
I have been watching your videos for 3 years and this one made me cry so hard! I grew up just like you. My mom is still alive but very sadly gone mentally. Thank you so much for sharing!
Losing a mom is losing a part of your heart. It’s the hardest thing I ever went through and I miss her everyday.
I grew up in the "system " here in the USA. I had the best parents ever. They are still in my life to this day and I am in my 30's. One of the very best things they taught me about growing up in the "system" is to love your birth parents as they are. We all make bad decisions. It doesnt always mean we are a bad person. Josh your story has really gone to my heart. I can relate to so much of it. Thank you for sharing. You are brave.
Josh... I've been watching your channel for a while, I've watched your videos of your journey of leaving the church. I've heard you talk here and there about your life when you were young, things you went through. I just now finished this video, watched all 5.... this one was my favorite. The rawness you showed when talking about your mom was very special to see. As someone who lost a mom to cancer when she was 49, we found out on her birthday that she had cancer and she passed three weeks later. I was 27, married with two small children, life hadn't prepared me to lose my mom. It has now been 27 years since I lost her, still makes me cry just thinking about her. I felt your pain you shared. I just wanted to say thank you. ❤
Feeding my 5 month old sobbinggggg! It hit me when you said that when you haven't seen someone in a while and then they get sick, it's awful to see. Seeing someone you love and care about lose everything and become a skeleton because of cancer, there's no words. I hadn't seen my grandpa in a few years and when I got to see him after he had cancer, he was a different person. Its heart breaking.
This video autoplayed after one of your snark videos... Im sitting here holding my 3 month old baby girl, bawling my eyes out with you.. im going to go see my parents.
I respect you so so much. Thank you for what you do and what you share with us, you give me hope.
This is the only kind of situation where I support forgiving parental abuse and neglect. You clearly needed to do that in order to heal and become the man you are today.
I just lost my mom from lung cancer and much like yours my relationship was damaged with my mom from alot of the same things and I felt it in my soul when you said for the first time in my life I was alone 😭 I still feel that way ! Not only did I loose my mom this January but I lost my husband last January and it’s so hard ! This moved me so much Josh thank you so much for sharing ❤
I am laying in my bed with my husband bawling my eyes out listening to your story. You have such a big heart. You are seen. You are heard. You are valued.
When you said your heart broke because you cousins skate with your daughter, it really got to me. I cannot believe the struggles you have gone through in your life! I am glad you are where you are today. It’s encouraging to see.
Why am I sitting here balling my eyes out right with you Josh. Your story resigns yes with me because my mom also had cancer twice. And she was always so tough on us growing up. I remember times when she wasn’t so nice but I feel like I can relate on so many levels. She was a loving mom but man she had her tough times too. Thank you for sharing your story Josh and for being vulnerable, I pray the haterz don’t pick your story apart because I know this took a lot for you to share with us
Oh man I wasn’t planning on crying today. I’m so happy she was able to apologize and mend a relationship.
If it’s truly toxic, it’s ok to never speak with parents again. If you’ve told them what you went through at their hands, and all you get is a narcissistic gas lit response, it’s ok to write them off and just get some dogs. That’s unconditional love. Amen.
I’m sorry for your loss, Josh, and happy your relationship mended before mom moved on. Bless.
@the dad challenge podcast....I hope u see this. I've been watching you for years but have never seen THIS video for some reason. My grandmother passed away a month ago (she practically raised me) and I desperately needed this video right now. By the grace of God it came at the perfect time. My grandmother also had a dnr that my family and I had to discuss signing w my grandfather. It was the hardest and closest death has ever touched me. I've improved myself over over the years and have a great relationship with my oldest daughter who recently moved out and had her first baby, but this video reminds me both of my grandmother's death, and my own inevitable death. I wasn't always the BEST mom but I love my kids unconditionally. I can only imagine how much my grandmother loved us. I've bawled the entire video and even sent parts to my daughter. The subject of death is very raw right now but SO important to process. As an imperfect mother myself, know that your mother loved you unconditionally...
Thank you for sharing your life story with us! All the feels while watching. Although we have very different life stories and I'm 33 no kids, not married (bf of 14 years though) etc this story touched me. The one thing we have in common is that our moms both died of lung cancer. I was 19, mom had just turned 50 on Christmas of 2008 and passed away on February 7th of 2009. We only knew for 3.5 weeks about her cancer- it spread to her brain and she lost her short battle. She did one chemo treatment (didn't even want to do that) but wanted to show myself, older sister and younger brother to never give up. Mom said to me "I love you honey and you will be okay" she was a single mom and the only parent I had ever known or needed. She was the very best mom and I miss her so much 💜 she never did give up but like your mom had a dnr bracelet put on. Hugs to you Josh!!
I truly do enjoy your channel and what you are trying to do!!
Listening to your story makes me grateful that my childhood was consistent.
My mom is constantly reminded by my brothers about how much she didn't do for us when we were growing up. It wasn't until I found God that I realized she did the best she could with the cards she had been dealt. We didn't have a comfortable life but we lived in the same home all of our childhood. We went to good schools and got a very good education. We learned to be independent while my mom worked most of the day. It wasn't a hard life by any means. Their were moments of struggle but my mom wasn't a terrible parent. Being a parent isn't easy and being a single parent is a challenge. It kinda breaks my heart that my mom gave all she had to take care of us and my brothers basically are telling her, "but that wasn't enough".
Hi Josh I have just watched your story I have cried with you my mum passed of cancer in October 2023 she was my best friend and the strongest woman in my life I’m so glad you and your mum made peace with each other god bless you xx
I just lost my mother a day before Mother’s Day what you wrote for her touched my heart in such a way that I’m in tears. I remember taking a picture of her and my hand. I wish I can hold her hand one more time. Thank you for your story.
Watching your story explains you as a person thank you for beening so raw ❤
Thanks for sharing Josh. It was hard for me to listen about your mom without crying. I laid in a hospital bed holding onto my sister when she died from stage 4 pancreatic cancer at age 28. She was my best friend. It’s now been 12 years and when I talk about it takes me right back to that day. They gave her some medicine to calm her and ease her pain and I remember seeing her struggle and I whispered it’s ok it’s ok we love you and it’s ok as she took her last breath. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I was 23 years old - she was 28. Just me and her no other siblings. I know that lost feeling you were talking about after loosing your mom. I’m so glad you were able to be there for your mama and say goodbye. I’m sure she knew how much you loved her.
So amazing that your mom found the Lord and accepted Him in her life and you got the apology you needed and she got the forgiveness she needed. Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable and personal part of your life. I loved the poem you wrote. I have always loved my mom's hands since I was a little girl, so it reminded me of her.
I binged listening to your life story I liked you before, but I like you even better now !
you’re an amazing man. You give a lot of comfort and I know what you mean about the talking out or making a video of it.
I did Storyworth and had a book published. I did my whole life and it was very cathartic for me and if nobody else reads it, I read it over and over, you’re an amazing man especially your advocacy for getting rid of these family bloggers. These people who are putting their families and their kids out there for the almighty dollar as you can see a lot of the families are now disintegrating because of it. We all have a past,thank you for sharing your life with us and I’ve been listening to you for a couple of years and feel so much closer to you. You are a good man your mom would be proud of you❤️
I subscribed to your channel about a year ago. You’re my favorite channel now. I just watched this series for the first time and I’ve bawled my eyes out. The love you have for your wife and family is beautiful. I pray I find someone like you. God bless you all.
I’m not crying, you’re crying! Oh man! That was simply put, the BEST way to start my day! I’ve recently lost both of my parents and a sister. Death is rough. Death is rough whether you had a good relationship or a bad one. You hit the mail on the head over and over and I’m so thankful that there was both forgiveness and acceptance. That’s huge and often doesn’t happen. I LOVED what you wrote when your mom passed and feel thankful that you shared it with us. Thank for all you do, Josh, you are very gifted but shit, you already know that! 🤣
Wow. I’m crying with you while watching this. You are an amazing person & an incredible storyteller. Thank you for sharing your life story with us. And, Josh, you are not a bully, you are an empath. I truly believe that.
Just watched this for the first time now after my moms recent cancer diagnosis... thank you for sharing your story about your mom. I also am living far away dealing with this new season of life and it’s gut wrenching. Comfort is knowing I’m not alone in how I feel. Love your work Josh.
Oh my gosh, I’m sobbing. What an incredible telling of your life, and your last moments with your mother. Thank you for sharing all this. I feel so inspired and moved to be more reflective, gracious, resilient, and grateful because of this story. And I’m going to hug my family tomorrow immediately. Thank you, Josh. 🥲
You have a way with words and it just hits right in the feels. Thank you for sharing your story Josh. May your momma continue to rest in peace. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, we talk a little here and there but she's still my mom. She may not have been the best mom to me and my brother, she did a lot of shitty stuff in her life but I will always love her. I forgive my mom for not always being there for me when I needed her most, I had to grow up faster than intended but I wouldn't be the person and mom I am today. My dad is my rock and stepped up when my mom didn't and I don't know what I would do without that man, he is the best dad and papaw and father in law to my husband that anyone could ask for. He goes above and beyond even when I didn't deserve it.
I became an addict at 17 years old to mask those feelings of hurt, anger and sadness my mom "caused" and never told my dad until I got sober 10 years ago and he has always been by my side no matter how shitty I was to him and I am so gr
Oh Josh... i can't stop crying. I seriously can't. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for your heart ache. Your story is amazing in so many ways. It has touched me so deep. I'm in awe of what you have done and of who you have become, from not letting your past define you to your weight loss... and everything in between, you're an inspiration. I know your mom is proud of you. She knows who you have become. She knows it Josh and she's proud of you. I'm so glad she was able to say it to you and I'm so glad you and her had redemption. (I always apologize for my english because I know i'm not using the correct words so I hope I was able to at least come close to what I wanted to say) Thank you for sharing your story to us and for be vulnerable in front of us. That's a brave thing to do. From Costa Rica I send you lots of love ...
Thank you for telling us your story. I found you through Jordan and McKay and wasn’t too sure what I had found but then figured out you were a fellow Canadian and fell down the rabbit hole of family vloggers. Hanks you for telling us your story and showing us how much of an impact some people can make on someone’s life along the way. That’s the thing that’s really struck me about your story...the people along the at who put out a helping hand. It’s a good reminder to me.
My husband passed from lung cancer. Your story resonates. God bless you and your family. ❤️
Omg Josh! I have been listening to these videos while I’m meant to be sleeping, but my body hates me and doesn’t let me sleep. This morning was this video and it’s now 6.30 am and I cannot stop crying. The relationship between you and your mum is so similar to mine and my fathers. It’s something I have buried for so many years, but it’s such a raw subject. I’m so pleased you were able to be with her. Both my dog and cat have come to see me ba use I’m crying too 🤗 thanks for sharing your story.
I came here to hear about your weight loss journey since I had the sleeve also. I live in the USA so I didn’t have the Tijuana journey, boy that was gutsy and scary. When that story ended I continued on with your mom story. The hand picture got to me although I can’t relate to your childhood story. I had a wonderful upbringing and parents. I, too, watched my father take his last breath… for 12 hours, from cancer. The actual last moments were exactly as you described and it never leaves you. My mother passed from dementia in a nursing home. I had previously cared for her in my home for 10 years. She wasn’t suppose to die yet, my family went on vacation. I got “the call” to get home fast. First flight from FL, delayed due to a storm, missed my connection, slept in Miami airport alone, got first flight out back to PA. Arrived at airport, rented a car for a 4 hour drive. One hour before I arrived I stopped for 5 mins for a bathroom break and as I started the car to continue on, I felt I was too late. One hour away. As approaching the nursing home, a bible versus came on the radio (and I wasn’t listening to a religious station at all). I thought “oh God, I am too late”. It was appropriate, about it being ok and it was time to go. I pulled up to the home, ran in, up the elevator where I stepped off and my brother was right there. He was watching for me. He said “she’s gone, she left an hour ago”. I cared for her for 10 years, my 24 hr journey home and she died at the 23rd hour. The nursing home waited until I got there before her body was taken. I was broken. I wish I had taken a picture of me holding her hand. My nephew did that when he lost his mom suddenly and we all did the Walk of Life to the OR where her organs would be donated. It’s such a beautiful picture. I wish I had one of me holding my dad’s hand. He, unfortunately, was already transitioning when I arrived at the hospital and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him but at least I was there when he passed and I hope he knew. My mom, I pray she didn’t wonder “where is my daughter, why are only my sons here”. I tried, I tried so hard, but I hit so many obstacles trying to get home. Delayed flight, missed connection, next flight the following morning, one hour waiting in line just to pick up a rental car (my lost hour to say goodbye was lost there). I will never forget “one hour, missed by one hour to say goodbye”. Thanks for telling your story.
Josh, I just finished watching all 5 parts of your My Life series and when I tell you I laughed, I cried, and I rejoiced. The strength and perseverance you demonstrated throughout your life is so incredibly touching and admirable. You are someone that people can look up to, especially children who feel like they don’t have a voice or there’s no hope. You showed us that there is always hope. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and using your platform to inspire, uplift, & bring awareness. You are awesome! Sincerely, your internet friend from Chicago ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Josh. I, too, lost my mother. She passed away back in 2014. I heard stories about her afterwards that she was always worried about me. She never got the chance to see her grandkids grow up, she never got to see me get married, so many things missed. Your story has touched me like I didn't think it would. I'm bawling like a big baby over here.
I'm crying with gratitude for you. I'm so happy you shared this. I just called my mom. As sad as this is it is just as beautiful. Thank you for your vulnerability.
You brought back the day I sat with my Mum the day she died. We just about always lived together and it was her and I against the world lol. She was my best friend and from that day my life was never as happy as when she was there. Now I’m getting older and I’m alone, I haven’t seen my nieces and nephews for years, not angst or anything, I think I’m just forgettable. I wish I could still work because that made it easier. Thanks for your story Josh.
I have been thinking about getting that surgery.
Congratulations Josh, glad that you have been able to keep the weight off.
It’s two years since you filmed this and it still brings me to tears. I remember feeling the same way as you did watching my mum taking her last breaths after she too was done with fighting cancer for 3 years.
I remember my mum too sitting down and apologising to me in the few weeks before she passed. She was a great mum, she wasn’t perfect: but she did the best she knew how to and how to cope while battling her own demons.
My dad was there but he was never really a dad and I remember waking up the next day after she passed away and feeling so alone. Because the one person I wanted to talk to about how sad I felt was her. It has been 10 years since she passed and I still miss her. I get angry sometimes realising how much my kids have missed out on because she was taken too soon. They never got to meet her and it breaks my heart ❤
I have been watching your older video series and this one right her really touched my heart! Although my mom was a great mother to me and my siblings, we too had to watch her pass in a somewhat similar way and I could feel your pain in this video. The poem really resonated with me…God took my garbage life and he still loved me….many prayers.
I have experienced being alone now for 11 years. My ex left in 2011 and my 3 kids followed. My dad left my life along with my 2 brothers. My mom passed away in 2014 at age 68. She was my best friend and was sick my whole life. My dog died in 2015. It has been 11 years with no Christmas, no family and no love. I wonder why this is happening and I have not got an answer. My 3 adult children are no longer in my life and I am so very sad. Thank you for sharing your story.
I pray that you can repair your relationship with your children! Also that you find a community that will show you love! ❤❤
Oh my gosh. You talking about your mom was so touching and heartbreaking. I lost my dad 7 years ago and know how hard it is to lose a parent. Thank you for sharing your story, I enjoyed all five parts of it.
8 yrs out of surgery - I still can’t eat sugar without getting sick , I’ve never had a soda since either. It’s amazing how little food we actually need . I used to eat an entire box of pasta and a load of garlic bread- now less than a 1/2 c of pasta and I’m TOTALLY full! I LOVE my gastric bypass surgery! It saved my life and I am happier than I’ve ever been. I’m 57 years old and I do yoga every day , ride my bike, I do ALL the things !
I watched my stepdad pass from cancer in under 3 months at the age of 46. Im 48 now and cant imagine how that must have felt to know your dying at such a young age. I had a conversation with him and thanked him for saving my mom and my sister and I . He saved us from an abuser who beat my mom and molested me. I am so grateful that i was able to say those things to let him know he had been an amazing man in his short time on this earth. He passed 23 years ago and its always a hole that cant be filled. God bless you Josh Barbour you are an amazing soul!
I can’t stop crying. It’s amazing what you’ve done with your life. Especially after what you went through as a kid. I’m so glad you got to have closure with your Mom. I know you don’t want pity but I’m so incredibly sorry for the way so many people failed you when you needed them. But I’m so glad that you want to help others now because of what you went through. It’s so clear and easy to tell why you are so passionate about these children that are being exploited. God Bless you!
When you go through these things as a child you really do think your the only one it's so lonely even when reaching out for help and your let down you do just think its normal or that's all your worth in life and its really not. Trauma really can direct your whole future even if you don't realise. Thankyou for sharing your story it can help so many people in so many ways just crying for you I realised I was crying for myself aswell I have blocked out my childhood bar a few memories as it was so bad my brain just doesn't want to deal but they are all there underneath and have formed my life now how I have parented how I react to situations and I cannot say its all been in good ways . I'm so glad you got to see your mum really did love you she just didn't know how to express it correctly ❤
Josh thank you for telling your story and helping all of us realize we aren’t done yet we can still make it down the road. Right after Christmas 2019 my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and we fought it and it almost killed her because of reactions to the chemo drugs, but she’s still here and I completely understand your thought of being alone after you lost your Mom because I feel that way after watching my Mom fight this disease for the past 4 years and having lost my Dad (biological) at 9 years old and my sibling not coming around us and living their own life. It terrifies me to think about.
Josh my heart broke hearing this 💔 I'm so sorry for your loss but so happy you had those hard conversations that was her making you aware that she always loved you and that she knew she failed in ways but as we grow we learn parents are human and humans are flawed. Much love xx
Oh my. Josh, your story and your mom’s story broke me. Thank you so much for sharing this.
This is so therapeutic. I just got into your channel and I watched all 5 parts and thank you so much. My grandma (who pretty much raised me) died of cancer and I remember how old she looked at the end. I'm just so glad I got to say goodbye. Thank you again for this.
I listened to all 5 parts. Thanks for sharing your story as I know it will help people. You really changed your family tree. As a teacher we have had professional training on ACES (adverse childhood experiences). ACES are linked to chronic health problems many of which you experienced. You are now on the other side and sharing your story gives hope to others. As a teacher I try to make a positive impact daily in the lives of the students I teach. As you stated you don’t always know if you are successful in reaching students but kids are worth it.
The part about your mom got me. I felt every word. I went through a lot of similar things with my mom growing up. She was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2019, and before she passed May 22, 2020, she had the same conversation with me and apologized for all of the hurt she caused me. It helped heal a lot of my trauma. My mom was a complete mess and pain in my ass, but she was my best friend and I loved her more than anything. I’m so sorry you lost your momma to cancer too. It’s not easy at all. It still feels like yesterday that I lost my mom, but it’s almost been two years. I took a picture of my mom’s hand in mine. I love the picture you took of your mom’s hand and what you wrote. I watched my mom take her last breath too, and your right, it’s something you can never unsee and will always remember. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, Josh! You are such an amazing man, and you are such a light in this world.
I'm so sorry. It's so hard watching someone you love suffer from cancer. The heartbreak is hard, but the love and memories will always pull you through
I lost my mom on Friday, February 13, 1998. 8 months after I got married a few weeks before my 23rd birthday. Cancer stole her from us. She had a carcinoms of unknown primary, along with 3 small brain tumors. She was diagnosed 6 months before I got married. We sat there for days taking every last breath with her at the hospital. One of the worst experiences to watch. It kills me to know thst my children will have never met my mother. And now 25 years later, I have outlived my mother....
My mom died little bit over year ago unexpectedly. She was the best mom ever. Im really grateful I spent so much time with my mom.
Wow, what a story. So true you love your parents no matter what. Glad you had closer with your mom. I didn’t with my dad. He never said sorry but I still love him.
I have never felt so much emotion from watching RUclips. Josh your mom’s story broke my heart. Thank you for sharing your life.
Thank you so much for sharing Josh. You are the type of pastor I wish I could have. This is real Christianity and showing forgiveness. You are so special.
Hearing you're story just brakes my heart for all the kids that have had hard relationships with their mom/dad. And it makes me feel even more grateful for my parents! Especially the bond I have with my momma! She has always been my best friend and my biggest support! I just found out that I'm pregnant with our second child and I'm praying that my kids will be able to have the best childhood my husband and I can give them! Every kid deserves a happy childhood!!
There's so much I want to say but I don't even know how to put it into words. I hope this all makes sense. My brain is going 1000 mph. I can relate to a lot of this part. There is always a road back though. You are right. When I hit my rock bottom I just hoped every night would be the night it'd all end. I lost my biggest supporter, my Dad, in 2018. He passed away pretty unexpectedly from Glioblastoma. If it wasn't for him dragging me out of the hole I had created I wouldn't have almost 6 years sober. I just wish he could have really seen me get my life back. I'm so thankful to be the mom my son needs and not to miss any of these moments any longer. I also relate to the estranged parents. I'm trying hard to fix that part still.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are very inspiring.
You brought me to tears when you read your letter about your mom. I was trying so hard not to cry as I'm watching while I'm getting ready and putting on makeup. That was so beautiful, but I had to turn it off... I'll watch the rest later! Thank you for sharing such an intimate story!
Boy Josh you were not kidding about needing a tissue. I used half a box. This was so therapeutic for me. Thank you everyone for the very kind comments. Josh thank you. I really needed to here those comments
We love you here Erin... DCP fam!
@@thedcp thanks Josh that really means a lot to me. I tell my kids multiple times a day that I love them. I probably say it too much. I just don't want my kids to ever feel the way I do.
The part of your story with your mom was like what I went through. My mom smoked since she was 14 and had quit just before my sister was born. 15 years later she got lung cancer and battled it for 3 years. It spread to her brain before it claimed her life. I was called by my aunt to get in a plane, but I didn't make it in time.
She was such a warm and welcoming person who adopted people. She was the center of our world.
She got to walk me down the aisle the year she died. But she never saw my brother and sister get married and she has never seen her grandchildren.
It was such a loss and I empathize with you.
I really enjoy your channel. Thank you for what you do.
Your videos have helped me mainly laugh out loud again since my Dad's sad passing last Sept with cancer. Immense thanks Josh.
I’m in absolute tears, it hit me so hard when you talked about your mom taking her last breath because I too watched my father take his last breath, he had skin cancer and I lived with him and watched him waste away every single day. It was the absolute most horrible thing to see. I’m sorry for everything you have been though , my heart goes out to you!. I’m so glad to see you have a happy life with a great family!
Your poem about your Mom had me crying. 😢 You are such an amazing human being. God bless you, Josh.
So glad that she gave her life to Jesus before she passed away.
The fact you chose to always love your mum regardless and make space and time for her in your life, definitely contributed to her being able to apologise to you, and for you guys to heal. Shows how love and compassion is always the way to healing, rather than hate x
Hi Josh my daughter andI love your channel ! Listening to your journey was eye opening. You're truly amazing from your experiences good and bad look how far you have come! I always say that money isn't everything its whats in your heart and your up bringing and experiences that make you what you are. You're children and wife are lucky to have you!! You're channel has really changed my way of thinking about many situations and put whats most important first next to watching your channel of course haha! You always make me smile and laugh . RUclips has created a good platform for you to spread your love for life and family ! I wish there were more amazing guys like you to set an example of you can do anything just believe and love yourself and the rest will follow. Thanks again for opening up and sharing some of your most personal experiences I believe that this will help others to know they're not alone and to help them find a way out. God bless your family and know that you have truly changed peoples lives !! Greetings from Dubai!!!!!
CRYING!!!! 😭 My husband and I both are sitting here crying with you. What an impactful and inspiring story for you to tell and you told it beautifully. Thank you for telling it. So much love to you and your family, Josh.
*Crying* I have been in the room 3 times when loved ones have died. My aunt, one of my best friends and my dad your right it’s something you never forget it’s burned in my mind forever. But when I lost my dad also to cancer it’s the hardest loss I’ve had to do deal with. He was my best friend, biggest encouragement, always knew what to say to make me feel better no matter the situation, gave me unconditional love. When he died I felt lost and the world felt empty. It’s still hard without him almost 4 years later.
You’ve really overcome a lot and it’s amazing.